Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

by Mark DeMoss (demoss2676@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Action/Adventure   User Review: **1/2
This is a story of a man and his quest for revenge on the men that killed his family. He is given powers by an old Indian that help him in his quest. Feed back would be great.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


FT. SILL, OK - 1969
Three young men wearing military uniforms walk out of a bar.
(Jack, Devon, and Menden) They are all three drunk,
laughing, and depending on each other to stand up. Jack, the
head of the group, has his middle finger in the air as they
walk out. They walk towards an alley swaying as they walk.
Screw her, there are many more
just like her just up the street.
The other two soldiers wave their bottles in the air as a
sign of agreement.
      (sluring /laughing)
You better hope your ole' lady
don't find out about all these
women you've been with out here.
She'll dump your ass.
Screw her too. I was looking for a
wife when I found her dam....mit!
I can find another one.
You'll find something alright.
Something you can't wash off.
Menden ...you son...of a...bitch.
I'll have you know that I don't go
swimming without a... bathing
suit. I don't rock without a sock.
I don't go to work without
a...a...hard hat and I....
Jack is cut short by a loud bang farther up the alley. The
three men are startled and look down the alley.
What in the hell was that!


Probably a V.C. boys, stay low and
follow my point.
Jack puts his finger out and is holding his hand like a gun.
Menden and Devon are trying not to laugh. Jack slowly creeps
down the alley giving signs to Devon and Menden to hold back
and then to move forward. When Jack gets closer to where the
noise came from he gives them a sign to hold their
positions. Jack creeps up to a dumpster and stops. He looks
back at the other guys and then jumps around the dumpster in
a gun pointed position. There is nothing there. Jack steps
back and motions for the other guys to move in. Jack cracks
a smile and reaches for his smokes in his shirt pocket.
Menden and Devon are walking towards him laughing. They see
Jack start to light a cigarette and then they see him get
yanked behind the dumpster. They hear Jack scream, as well
as growling sounds. They both stand frozen for a second.
Menden and Devon turn and look at each other, eyes wide
open. They both turn and run the other way. Menden is trying
to run so hard that he is just sliding his feet in the
gravel of the alley and briefly falls down. Devon looks back
and sees Menden fall and then get up and start to run.
Oh shit! O..ooh shit!
Move your ass man!
The thing that got Jack is looking at Devon and Menden
running away. Then it leaps into the air and is watching the
two men run down the alley. The Thing follows briefly and
then swoops down fast towards them. When the creature is
very close, both men turn around in absolute horror. They
scream as the scene fades out.
A close up of a tank's wheels rolling down the street that
runs over a kid's bike. The view pans out to the entire tank
and it's surrounding in Iraq. There are soldiers on each
side of the tank holding weapons. The towns people are
looking out of their windows with sad looks on their faces.
The view jumps to a boy (V.O TANKS MOTOR) playing with some
action figures on the sidewalk. The boy only has one arm.
The tank and two soldiers walk past the boy. One of the
soldiers (SAM) stops and gives the boy a piece of gum out of
his pocket.


Here you go kid.
The boy takes the gum and smiles back at the soldier. The
soldier then runs back up to the tank and the other
Hey I want a peice!
Hell no..
Sam puts a piece of gum in his mouth and starts chewing it.
Do you know how hard it is to get
good gum over here?
Okay.. I guess I'll just have to
tough it out!
John and Sam both look back at the boy.
That was good of you Sam.
You probably made that boys day.
      (a little mad)
Well it ain't these kids fault
we're here man.
I can't wait to get back to my
As Sam is talking he is stopped by troops yelling
Sam get down!!
A rocket comes flying down the street and hits the tank in
the rear. Iraq insurgents come out of windows and start


shooting at the tank and the Troops. Sam and John run over
to a near by car and are pinned down.
What the hell... Son of a bitches
came out of no-where!
The P.O.V has a close up of a rocket flying through the air
which hits the tank again. John and Sam both duck face down
as it explodes. John looks down the sidewalk and sees the
little boy sitting in a fetal position crying.
The boy! The boy!...God dammit the
Stay down John!!!!
John sits there for a second and it gets quieter. John hears
the sound of something metal hitting the ground and is
rolling. It is a grenade and it explodes near John and Sam.
The explosion ends and John leans up. John realizes that he
can't hear anything and everything is blurry. He looks
around and sees Sam laying on his side facing John. Sam's
eyes are wide open. John looks down and sees Sam's insides
are hanging out. John screams at Sam but he can't hear
himself scream.
John looks down the sidewalk and sees the boy is still there
crying. John gets an intense look an his face and starts
towards the boy. John sees some men in a window and shoots
them. He is almost to the boy when out of the corner of his
eye he sees a man on the roof across the street with an
R.P.G. The man fires it.
      (scared/ yelling)
Son of a bitch.........!
John runs and the blast flips him in the air. John lands on
his back hard. Things are still silent but this time there
is a loud buzzing sound in his head. John feels something
hot around his stomach. He looks down and there is a piece
of small metal sticking out of him. John pulls it out.


John's head falls back to the ground. As he is laying there
he sees something laying on the ground. John focuses in on
the object and realizes that it is a small leg laying on the
side walk. It has been separated from the boy. John just
lays there in shock staring at the boys leg.
                                         CUT TO
John raises up fast in his bed screaming.
John is drenched in sweat. John sits there for a minute
breathing hard. He stands up and walks over to the bathroom
and splashes some water on his face and stares at himself in
the mirror. John looks down at his stomach and sees the long
scar on his belly as water from his face drips down. John
tries to pull his self together and stop crying but it over
whelms him. John punches the wall a few times and falls
backwards against the wall behind him. SCENE FADES OUT.
POV-A close up of a woman's butt in spandex running down the
street. The view then pans out to Torri Reynolds jogging
around her neighborhood. She has her headphones on and is
waving at people outside getting their newspaper. However,
she does not wave at the perv who always makes an effort to
check out her butt when she passes. He waves and she gives
him a little nod with her head then looks forward.
      (angry-soft voice)
bitch....nice ass.
Torri jogs up to the door of her house and enters.
Torri walks in and grabs a towel laying on the back of a
chair and wipes the sweat of her face. As she's walking
through the living room the phone rings. She picks up the
phone and looks at the caller I.D. and doesn't answer it.
It's a date went wrong.


      (rolling eyes)
I dont think so Jerk.
REYNOLDS turns on the T.V. and is standing there listening
to the news.
                       NEWS ANCHOR (vo)
Today in the news there was a five
car pile up on 1-40 last night
that killed three people and 2 are
critically injured. The names of
the victims have not yet been
released. We will keep you
As the news anchor talks, Torri rolls her eyes while she
walks to the kitchen. Torri opens the refrigerator and pulls
out a jug of orange juice and drinks straight from the jug.
She wipes her mouth and walks back into the living room and
looks at the T.V.
                       NEWS ANCHOR
Also in the news, a woman in
Canton, Oklahoma is now in custody
for killing her three children and
a neighbors child who was sleeping
over. Her three children were 7
year old Amy Smith, 5 year old
Johnathon Smith,and Samantha Smith
was 1 year old. Ashley Anderson, a
friend staying the night, was also
found in the home deceased. She
was 7 years old. The mother
poisoned all four children. The
substance is not yet known.
Is there any good news anymore?
Reynolds walks into her bedroom. She takes off her shirt and
throws it on the floor, leaving her in a sports bra. She
walks into the closet and grabs her police uniform that is
hanging up and places it on the bed. She walks into the
master bath and closes the door.
                                         CUT TO


Reynolds is driving down main street in her patrol car
drinking a coffee. She passes another patrol car and gives
them a wave. She comes to a stop light. Reynolds looks to
her left and there are three men sitting on the bank corner.
They're starting early.
Reynolds glances over to the bank door and sees a man
unlocking the door. She gives him a good look. (JOHN) He
glances over to the Cop car but doesn't look long. Reynolds
drives off.
John walks into the bank and turns on the lights. He then
walks over to his desk and puts some papers in order. John
walks back to the break room to start some coffee. John
bends over to get a coffee pack. A lady walks into the
doorway. She gives John a good look and is smiling. John
feels someone behind him. He looks back while he's bent over
and its JOAN CRAWFORD. A lady in her 50's who always makes
an effort to give John hints that's she is interested. John
quickly stands up.
Hey.. Joan.. good morning.
Morning John. T.G.I.F finaly huh?
Yeah, I'm going to enjoy a four
day weekend but It's going to be
crazy around here today.
I know, don't remind me. I love
fridays and I hate them.
They both walk out of the break room. John Makes it a point
to go last.
                                         CUT TO
John is sitting at his desk talking to a lady about a loan.


Mrs. Bassett we can not help you.
You are unemployed and your credit
is not good enough.
                       MRS. BASSETT
John I need this loan! If I don't
get a loan today they are going to
shut off my utilities!
I wish there was something we
could do Mam. Listen why don't you
go down to the DHS office and ask
for some help I'm sure they...
Mrs. Bassett cuts him off..
                       MRS. BASSETT
This is crap John. I've got lots
of loans here before. When Frank
Murray ran this place I could
always get a loan... anytime!
John looks around the bank and sees people in the bank
looking at him and Mrs. Bassett. John gets a little angry
from the attention.
Again Mrs. Bassett I wish there
was something we could do. However
new bank policies prevent us
Mrs. Basset stands up and cuts him off again.. John stands
up as well.
                       MRS. BASSETT
      (with attitude)
That's okay John.. I don't need
your help.. I can take my business
As Mrs. Bassett walks away John shrugs his shoulder's and
sits down. He glances at the clock. It's almost five
o'clock. He starts putting things away in his desk. He
glances up and sees Joan leaning up against her desk and is
looking back at him in seductive look. John quickly looks
the other way and laughs at her easiness. A co-worker walks
by John's desk.


Dang John she is wanting you bad!
She can want all she wants but
it's not gonna happen.
The co-worker walks away laughing. The grand clock in the
center of the room strikes 5:00 and the anticipated dong
fills the Liberty State Bank offices and lobby. John heads
towards the time clock. However, before he can get there he
sees Joan in the corner of his eye. John looks over to her
and she is racing him towards the time clock. She has an
intense look on her face as if getting to the time clock
first means she wins John.
Oh no you don't!
Joan starts to walk faster. They are both smiling now but
still with a bit of intensity. John gets there first. Joan
sighs and puts her arm around John to help hold her up. John
can feel her intentions and kindly removes her arm.
Hello Joan, how was your day?
      (breathing hard)
Pretty good for a Friday. Have big
plans for the weekend John?
Because if you don't I need some
help with……..
John cuts her off as he punches out.
Actually I do Joan. It's memorial
weekend and we camp at the river
every memorial weekend it's a
family tradition I guess.
Joan moves around John with her body brushing up against
his. John quickly moves back.
That's all very good John but I
must be going. There are some
drunk men hanging around the
parking lot. I don't want them to


                       JOAN (cont'd)
see me leave, they might ask for
They both turn and look out the bank window at the group
hanging out.
Oh John walk me to my car please,
yesterday one of them almost got
Almost got you huh?
Yes John.. I'm seriuos.
Fine I will walk you to your car.
                                         CUT TO
John closes Joan's car door. She looks up at him and gives
him a smile as she backs out. John gives her a wave goodbye.
John walks over to his car. As John is walking to his car he
looks over to the sidewalk and three men are sitting down
and are drunk as skunks. John is feeling awkward bedcause
he can see them looking at him and one man stands up. John
hears one of them call him an apple but John doesn't know
what that means. One of them starts his way.
      (talking to
Apple? What the hell is that
suppose to mean? Apple?
As the man is walking over to John, he trips and falls and
John unwillingly goes over and helps him up. While helping
the drunkard up, John gets a good smell of him. John's eyes
start to water.
                       DRUNK MAN
Hey mister...can you lend a guy 10
dollars so I can fix my car? It's
broke down and I need ten dollars


                       DRUNK MAN (cont'd)
for a part.
The man reeks of alcohol and looks like he hasn't had a bath
in years or changed close in years. John knows that the guy
will most likely just buy more beer with it. John pulls out
his wallet and is looking in it where there are quite a few
bills. John looks at the drunkard and puts the wallet back
in his back pocket.
Sorry Man, I don't have any cash,
maybe next time.
The drunk man shakes his head and walks back towards the
other two drunks on the corner. John starts to turn around
and get in his car when he hears the drunk man call him an
apple again-(V.O.) Curious and a little mad John turns back
around towards the drunks.
Hey!….Hey!…. Why are you calling
me an apple?
The drunk man turns around almost falling over again.
                       DRUNK MAN
It means your red on the outside
and white on the inside dumbass.
But don't worry we wont tell
anyone okay.
John shakes his head and gets in the car and drives off
cranking up the radio. The men are laughing in the back
ground.-(V.O) As he passes the three drunkards there is one
in the middle that looks at him with a deep stare and John
realizes that the he is Native American and isn't laughing.
He has an almost insane look on his face that kind of spooks
John out. John turns his head and continues to drive off.
John's house is a small but nice house in a middle class
area of Tahlequah, Oklahoma, which is more than he really
needs because it is just him living there. John walks over


to check his machine for messages while he loosens up his
tie. The first message is from his mom Joyce. BEEP…
                       JOYCE (VO)
Hello John, this is your Mom. Just
wanted to let you know we will be
at the camp site in the morning.
Make sure you bring your blow up
mattresses. You know how I hate to
sleep on those dam rocks.
As she talks John walks around the kitchen scrounging for
food, pealing off his tie, and unbuttoning the top of his
shirt. John goes to the kitchen and heats up a pan on the
                       JOYCE (VO)
Oh, your sister was able to get
away from that crazy boyfriend of
her's to spend the weekend with
us. John make sure you bring the
bread and the dogs okay. We'll see
ya tomorrow sugar, bye bye.
John throws a steak in a pan and a sizzling sound begins.
Scene fades.
Reynold's and her friend Lisa are sitting in a small bar
having a few drinks. Lisa takes a shot and turns towards
Why do you always have the worst
luck with guys? I don't understand
it! I set you up with a good guy,
who really liked you by the way,
and you blow him off.
I know, I wish I wasn't so picky.
It's like I'm waiting on
something. I don't know. He was
cute but I don't think he's my
Lisa rolls her eyes and takes a big drink of her margarita
before talking.


What is your type Torri. I mean
come on.
Listen stop worrying about me and
my love life. I can take care of
While they are talking, two desperate looking guys walk up
to them.
Get Lost!
Before they can speak Lisa Lisa yells at them. Torrie looks
at Lisa with a be nice look. The two guys immediately turn
around and walk off.
      (a little mad)
You don't have to be rude to them
ya know.
Losers... anyways, where were we?
Oh, your not getting any younger,
tick, tock, tick, tock. Is that
where we were?
Your giving me advise? A lady who
dates a different guy every week?
Lisa looks at her with a "I know you didn't" look.
      (a little mad)
Hey I don't sleep with every guy I
go out with...Just every other
After a short pause they both look at each other and start


I bet there is at least one guy in
here that you've been with.
Shut up, bitch!
Reynolds is laughing. Lisa looks around and sees someone she
had slept with.
Shit whats he doing here?
Reynolds starts laughing again while trying to finish her
drink. Lisa is quiet from embarrassment for a few seconds
and then can't help but laugh with Reynolds.
Well I'm tired girl. I think I
should just go home. There is
nothing here for me.
About that time a guy walks over to Lisa and asks her to
dance. He grabs her hand and they head towards the dance
Hey you know why I don't have any
men? You take them all!
Lisa gives her a big smile.
      (talking to
Well that's the way it goes I
Reynolds finishes her drink. She looks over to Lisa and
gives her a wave goodbye. As she is leaving a lot of the
guys in the bar look at her leaving. She sees them stare and
rolls her eyes and walks out.
      (talking to
They like to stare but don't have
the balls to ask me to dance.


John is cruising down the highway with his radio up when his
cell phone rings. John turns his radio down to hear. He
looks at the caller I.D. it's his Mom. John answers the
As John is listening to his mom he is rolling his eyes.
Yeah I got the air mattresses
mom……. Yeah I got the hot dogs,
yes everything mom …… got it.
Okay… I'll see you in alittle bit.
As soon as John hangs up the phone he looks up and there is
a cop car topping the hill. John looks at his speedometer
and he's going 75 in a 65. He doesn't even have time to slow
down when the lights come on. John immediately pulls over. A
lady gets out of the cruiser (Torri Reynolds). She walks
over and taps on John's window.
License and insurance please.
John muffles through the glove compartment and finally finds
his insurance verification and hands them to Reynolds.
      (Soft tone)
Here you go.
What's the hurry?
Oh nothing really just ready for
the weekend.
I'll be right back.
Reynolds turns and heads back towards her cruiser, as she is
walking back John can't help but look in his mirror at her
butt. She suddenly glances back and sees John looking at
her. He moves his head in embarrassment. Reynolds gets in
her cruiser with a smile knowing he was checking her out.
Minutes pass by and she approaches John's car again. John
rolls down the window.


I'm gonna give you a warning this
time but lets slow it down out
here okay?
Oh no problem, I'm sorry I just
didn't realize…..
She hands John the warning.
There is a lot of drinking going
on this weekend so just watch out
for the crazies and slow it down
Okay.. thank you..
Reynolds walks back to her cruiser while John takes another
look at her back side. He faces foward again and shakes his
head in disgust.
Ahhh….I feel like Joan……
John pulls out onto the road and heads back towards the
river. He glances back towards Reynolds who is writing in
her log. She also glances back at him as he drives off.
                                         CUT TO
John pulls into the the camp ground registration office
gravel parking lot. He gets out of his car and walks towards
the the registration office. John is greeted by some pretty
girls walking past him as he walks up to the registration
office, who look back at him to check him out as he does the
same for them.
                       PRETTY WOMAN
Dang..girl.. I'd like to get with
John gives a small laugh at her comment and continues to
walk into the office. He walks up to the clerk, who is an
elder man probably in his 70's or 80's, whose left eye looks
unlevel with the right eye, teeth are really bad, he has a


worn John Deer hat on, and is chewing tobacco and smoking at
the same time.
Hello I'd like to pay for a site
The old clerk scratches himself, puts out his cigarette then
spits into a large can next to him. (IN THE BACK GROUND
THERE IS A WINDOW FAN RUNNING) The old clerk throws a note
pad in front of John.
Okay, write your name and everyone
in your groups name right here,
read the rules on the wall there,
and pay me fifty bucks.
John signs the pad, throws some money on the counter, then
and walks over to the sign on the wall. He knows the rules
so kinda glances at them and begins to walk out the front
door when John runs into a "straight out of Nazi boot camp
kind a guy. John, the bigger of the two, barely budges. The
skinhead falls down, knocking some chips off of a rack. The
skinhead stares up at John in a cracked out look.
                       SKIN HEAD
Watch where your going asshole!!
John tries to help the guy up but the skinhead pushes his
hand away and stands up.—The old man is laughing in the back
Sorry man, I didn't even see you
                       SKIN HEAD
Yeah, no shit dickhead.
The Skinhead starts to push John in the chest to try and
push John down but John quickly grabs the Skinhead's finger
and twists which brings the skinhead to his knees begging.
                       SKIN HEAD
Oaky...Okay...let go!!! Ahh shit.
John lets go.


I dont want no trouble it was just
an accident okay! Your lucky I
didnt break it.
The skin head shakes his head in agreement and is
embarreseed. John walks out the screen door. The old clerk
starts laughing at the skin head.
                       SKIN HEAD
      (yelling at clerk)
Shut your trap!!!!!
John walks to his car which sits a little to low for the
thick rocky road. As John is driving through the camp site
he notices numerous people getting their camp site set up.
Families, young couples, older couples. It puts a smile on
John's face, most likely from the memories he has about this
place as a kid. Two kids are chasing a beach ball and run
out in front of John's car. John slams on the breaks. Their
parents yell at them.
Sammy! Lindsey! get your little
buts over here now! You could have
been hurt bad!
The kids look at John as they walk back towards their
parents. It didn't bother them one bet that they almost were
hurt badly. John glances over at the parents again who are
about to have heart attacks. John can't help but give a
little laugh at the kids carefreeness
John parks his car at the family camp site. He is the first
one there. John walks on the heavily rocked area up to the
river. John bends down to feel the water temperature. In the
corner of his eye he sees a glance of something and hears
leaves and branches get brusseled up. There was something on
the other side of the river, in the woods. He stands up and
is looking intensely at what it could have been but sees
nothing. Some canooers float by and give John a wave. John
waves back.
      (kinda yelling)
How yall doin?


      (kinda yelling)
Fine just enjoying the good
weather and good beer.
The other canooer leans foward and yells at John the
Oklahoma Sooner chant.
John waves at the canooers as they float out of sight. John
walks over to his car and is unloading his car when his
parents pull up in their truck. John's dad gets out of the
truck and gives John a big smile. John walks over gives his
mom a hug and then walks over and gives his dad a hug.
Hey you old fart how's it going?
Hey don't get to big for those
britches or I'll have to pull them
down and spank you in front of all
these pretty girls out here.
Yeah okay Pops...
John's dad Paul is a tall, heavy set guy with two long
braids. Not a guy many would want to tangle with. Both John
and his dad are laughing and punching on each other as they
greet each other.
      (cigarette in
No sign of your sister yet? She


                       JOYCE (cont'd)
said she might be late. Well
anyways, let me get a good look at
you. How's Tahlequah treating you?
Any new girlfriends yet?
John trying to get a word in but she wont let him.
Joyce will you leave that boy
alone? Lets get everything set up
please, I'm tired and I'm ready to
crack a beer and drown some
John is laughing lightly at his dads comment. Scene fades
out with the family unloading Johns parents truck.
                                         CUT TO
Everything is set up, John and his Dad are sitting in their
fold out chairs, their fishing lines are in the river, both
have a cigar in their mouths, and a beer in their laps.
Joyce is in the back making some sandwiches when John's
sister BRENDA pulls up with the radio blaring.
Joyce will you tell that girl to
turn that shit down! She's scaring
the fish!!
Brenda gets out of her car and walks towards the group.
      (pointing finger)
Chill out Dad, I,m here ain't I.
You know I could have went to the
lake this weekend with my friends
but I know what this weekend means
to you so I didn't.
John waves at Brenda. She smiles at John and goes over to
talk to Joyce and help with the sandwiches. (Paul is
mumbling something in the back ground–(V.O.)


Hey sis... are you going to be our
beer catcher? I've seen a few
float by since we've been here.
Yeah, I'll catch a few for you
John but Dad has to catch his own.
The scene fades out with them talking and laughing.
Scene fades in with a young attractive girl sitting around a
camp fire laughing so hard she spits her drink everywhere.
There is another girl and two boys sitting around the camp
fire laughing as well. They are are drinking heavily.
Tell me about it Ceth, that bitch,
I can't pass one of her damn tests
she gives us.
No, she's okay. I really wouldn't
want to kill her...Just send her
to Russia or something.
Jeff, the other male, stands up and kinda staggers over to
the ice chest and pulls out a couple of beers and tosses one
to Ceth. Jeff lets out a huge burp then proceeds to tell
what he would do with the Professor.
I think she just needs to loosen
up a little. I mean lets face it
she needs a good game of hide the
You guys are sick! That's all you
think about...is your bone and
where you can hide it or whatever.


Jeff and Ceth are laughing at Sarah's statement. Sarah flips
them both off and Liz rolls her eyes and takes another drink
of her beer. Sarah stands up.
There is more to a woman than
what's between her legs you jerks.
She is a good teacher and I have
no problem passing her tests.
Ceth and Jeff are both waving their hands in the air in a
we're not worthy motion. Sarah rolls her eyes and sits back
Who cares lets get wasted dammit!
Ceth looks at Liz with an I'm gonna screw you tonight look
and Liz acknowledges it. Sarah looks over at Jeff and he's
giving her the same look but she rolls her eyes and gives a
little laugh which frustrates Jeff. Ceth stands up and
scratches himself.
I'll be right back I have to shit.
T.M.I!.. you don't have to
broadcast it.
      (in a hurry)
You gotta go, you gotta go.
Ceth walks into the woods. Jeff roles over on his back and
is looking at the stars while puffing on a joint.
Liz when are we leaving? This is
getting old.
Just try to have a good time
Sarah! It wont kill you.
Yeah, like Pot doesn't kill Sarah.
Haven't your heard? Crack kills!


Jeff Rolls to his side and pulls his shorts down just enough
to show her is but crack. Liz starts laughing. Sarah rolls
her eyes and looks towards the trees. Ceth comes running out
of the woods pulling his pants up.
Oh shit!
All three are laughing because Ceth can't get his pants to
zip up.
Shut the hell up! Something big as
hell just flew over me.
Liz and Jeff look at each other and start laughing harder.
I'm not joking assholes. I heard
something looked up and it flew
right over me and it was big.
They all four look up slowly and see black figures circling
them like vultures.
Wow those are some big ass birds!
Liz...I don't think those are
They all four look at each other and start to run towards
the vehicles when a huge gush wind starts coming their way.
The girls scream. One by one they are taken out.

Ceth is picked up off the ground and carried into the sky.
Liz watches Ceth get carried away as she runs.
      (scared/ screaming)
Oh my god! What the hell are...
Liz's legs are pulled out from under her and she hits the
ground hard. She is dragged backwards while she screams and
claws at the ground

As Jeff is running he turns to look behind him and sees
something right behind him. He turns back around and tries


to run faster but the thing catches him and punches right
through his chest and Jeff hits the ground.

After the dust settles a man (JACK) walks up and puts his
hands over the fire. He is dressed in leather and has
numerous tattoos on his arms. He looks like a classy Hells
Angle. Jack looks around and sees the other men feeding on
Jeff, Liz, and Ceth. Jack looks up the hill and sees Sarah
crawling towards the cars. She is crying.
Please help me!! ...Oh God please
help me!
From a far you can see the man by the fire (Jack) spring
into the air out of sight and then a loud thud when he lands
right in front of Sarah. Scene fades out with Sarah's
screams echoing through the woods.
John and his family are sitting around the camp fire talking
about old times. They are a little buzzed from drinking
Man this place sure brings back
memories... Hey Brenda, remember
how we use to walk up river and
float back down to the camp site
over and over again? Those were
the days.
Sure do. I especially remember
when mom was going to take us up
river a couple of miles and let us
float down and the mile turned out
to be five miles.
      (cigarette in
Hey how was I suppose to know? It
felt like a mile. The river just
winds and makes it longer.
Yeah well, I tell you one thing,
when it got dark and still no camp


                       JOHN (cont'd)
site around. It was a little
scary for a couple of kids.
John's Dad comes back from peeing in the woods.
You know I keep hearing about
those were the good ole days
stuff. I,m fifty-five years old. I
have the right to say those were
the good old days, especially in
crazy times like these. Man if
there is one thing I can't stand
it's someone who doesn't
appreciate what they've got and
you both have a lot of years left
a head of you.
Brenda rolls her eyes.
So instead of talking about those
were the good ole days go make
some more good ole day while you
Sorry pops guess I never thought
about it that away. You know what
Pop?.... Your absolutly right.
      (lighting a
Yeah well that's the problem with
you kids today. You never think
past your noses.
Yeah and you always do that Paul.
John and Brenda laugh lightly at Joyce's comment. As they
are laughing three men walk in from a path next to their
camp site. They all have long hair, leather pants, and nice
dress shirts on, but have tatoos all over them. John and his
dad look at each other and both can sense that these guys
may be trouble. The three guys walk up towards John and his


      (holding a beer)
How are yall doin toinght?
      (deep voice)
Fine. Can we help ya?
Well we're just needing to kill
some time while we wait on our
buddies to catch back up with us.
Hope you dont mind?
John and his Dad stand up out of their chairs and the three
men walk closer to them. Paul not wanting to be rude and
pretty confident him and John could take these guys if they
had to, shakes their hands and greets them.
Sure come on up, warm those feet
up by the fire. We've got some
beer we caught floating by the
That's a good idea.
The three drifters sit down by the fire. Paul offers each a
beer and a smoke.
Wow, now this is hospitality I
tell ya. My name is Jack, this
pile of crap here is Devon, and
the quiet one....well I,m not sure
what his name is.
John and Paul laugh lightly at Jack's remark and nods their
head at Devon and the Quiet One as a form of greetings. The
Quiet One scratches himself and doesn't even acknowledge
that they were even talking about him. Joyce is in the back
watching them all closely.
I'm John, this is my Dad Paul, my
mom Joyce, and my sister Brenda.
So are you guys from around here?


      (smoking cigarette)
No we're from Muskogee. We just
came down for the weekend. You
know get a little great outdoors
shit going.
Jack notices the Marine tatoo on John's arm.
Marine huh?
John looks at his arm then at Jack.
Yep, got my four years in. One of
those was in Iraq, and got out.
How many did you kill over there?
No offense but I don't like to
talk about it.
      (soft voice)
They never do.
Jack stands up to stretch. As he turns in a stretching
motion John sees that Jack has what looks like small drops
of blood on the back of his shirt. Paul sees it as well.
John gets a little nervous and stands up. The Quiet One
looks at John and continues to look at him.
      (a little mad)
So how far back did you say your
friends were?
Well Paul, I don't remember saying
how far back they were, but I
think they will be here soon. They
ran into some old friends and are
doing alittle catching up.
Paul stands up and is walking around the camp site. John
looks over at the Quiet One and he is staring at Brenda
pretty intensely. John turns his head and is starting to get
pissed off. John gets up and walks back to the truck and


Paul follows him. The Quiet One hits Devon's knee and nods
at John and Paul.
Is everything alright back there?
Just taking a piss break be back
in a minute.
While John and Paul are talking, the three drifters put
their attention to Joyce and Brenda. Devon is staring at
Brenda like she is a piece of meat and he hasn't eaten in
days. Jack walks over by Joyce.
So Mam, how are you doing over
there? You haven't said much since
we've been here. Hope we ain't
scaring you?
      (pissed off)
Excuse me? There ain't nothing out
here that scares me. I've been
married to Paul for 30 Years. I
have seen a lot of shit in that
period of time and you aint shit.
Oh really, is that so?
      (Acting tough)
Yes sir, that's right!
Woo..your quite a woman if I do
say so myself.
      (blushing a little)
Yeah you can say that I guess.
John and his dad are still by the truck. John glances over
at Jack, who is by his Mom. John looks over at Devon and the
Quiet One who are whispering things to Brenda and John can
tell she is not comfortable.


Did you see the blood on his
Relax John. I'm fixing to go over
there and ask them to leave. I
will tell them we have to get up
early or something. Okay?
I don't like these guys. The
sooner they are out of here the
True that!
John gives his dad a curious look.
Yeah...true that.
John and Paul walk back towards the fire, as they walk up
they can tell that Brenda and Joyce are showing some
nervousness, especially Brenda.
Dam, I heard that Indians could
piss but that was a long ass piss
John clinches his fist and tries to brush the comment off.
      (bossy tone)
Alright boys it's getting late and
we have to get some sleep soon, so
drink the rest of your beers and
then you boys can be on your way
Sure Paul, No problem if you want
us to leave we will. Our truck is
only another mile or so. Our
friends can just meet us there I


Devon is still whispering things to Brenda and she is
rolling her eyes. Paul gets pissed.
      (loud tone)
Hey, do you mind not talking to my
daughter? She doesn't seem to be
enjoying your company.
All three drifters look at Paul. Paul is an intimidating
guy. Jack and Devon stand up.
Whats wrong with his company Paul?
Devon's a nice guy. Sure alittle
rough around the edges, but I
would think that any little squaw
would love to have a guy like him.
Isn't that right Devon?
Yes sir!
John stands up.
      (pissed off)
What the hell is your problem
John walks up to Jack. The Quiet one stands up and starts
laughing quietly to himself. Paul stands up as well.
John sit your ass down now!
      (cocky/ insane)
Oh look the big bad Marine is
going to save the day. I'm so
John swings at Jack and hits him square on the jaw, however
Jack barely moves. John looks at him in shock.
My Problem?...Bad diet I guess.
Too much red meat.


Devon starts laughing loudly at Jack's comment. John looks
over at Devon and looks back at Jack.
My turn!
Jack uppercuts John and he goes flying almost into the
John is not knocked out but is in a daze. John can hear some
screaming, it's his sister and mom.(V.O) He comes to his
senses for a second but everything is still some what
blurry, he sees his dad, they are laying eye to eye. John
realizes that his dad is dead lying on the ground next to
him. He can see some men walking around the camp site and
there seems to be more than before. They're laughing. John
can hear his sister screaming and his mom crying for help.

John stands up and tries to walk towards them but his vision
and equalibrium are still out of wack from Jack's strong
punch and he collapses before he can even get two steps in.

John makes his way back up and sees a figure standing in
front of him. John's vision returns a little bit and he can
see it is Jack standing about thirty-five feet in front of

Jack walks up and bites John on the neck. John tries to
struggle however he can hear his heart beat pounding louder
and louder, then slower and slower. John knows that he has
to do something quick. He reaches around to his side and
feels his fishing knife. John grabs it sticks Jack in the
stomach with the knife. Jack lifts his head from John's neck
and looks at the knife in his stomach. Jack then looks at
John, who is staring at Jack with a staggering , insane, and
tired look.
Ain't that a bitch.
Jack smiles back at John in a cocky manner and punches John
in the chest which sends John flying through the air across
the rivr and hits a tree next to the bank. John hits the
tree hard and slides down into the river. John's limp body
floats down river. Jack watches him for a second then turns
back to the chaos behind him.
                                         CUT TO


John starts to wake back up. He doesn't know where he is,
then he realizes that he's in the river. His body feels
limp. He's floating down river face up. He tries to pull
together some type of strength but can't. "Boom" John's head
hits a rock and his limp body is pushed around the huge rock
and John blacks out again. He has a flash back of Iraq.
                                         CUT TO
John and Sam are at a base walking around talking. Other
troops are walking around as well.
      (chewing gum)
Hey John, what do you think about
death man?
That's easy, I don't think about
Since I got over here I keep
thinking about...here, there, and
where I'll go. Heaven...Hell, you
John looks at Sam.
I don't know Sam. I think we all
have different paths here and
Three helicopters fly over. John and Sam both look up at
them as they fly over.
Yeah that sounds about right.
Your a good guy and all Sam
But what?


But I don't think either place
will have ya..
Sam gives John the middle finger and John keeps laughing.
                                         CUT TO
John's body floats into a shallow area. Water is gushing
around John's body. Three men come out of the woods and pick
him up and carry him into the woods.(The three drunkards
from the bank corner)
A close up of a patrol car. Sheriff Presely gets out of the
patrol car. There are other police cars there and an
ambulance as well. Sheriff Presely walks up towards the
bodies of John's Mom and Dad. The paramedics start zipping
their bags after he walks up. Deputy Thompson is standing by
the fire taking down some notes when he sees Sheriff
Presely. He quickly walks over to him.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
      (lighting a
Thompson what the hell happened
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
Well sir it's a freakin mess. Some
high school kids floating the
river found them around seven
o'clock this morning. We have a
male, identified as Paul Thunder.
A female, identified as Joyce
Thunder. It appears that Paul
Thunder was killed by a large gash
to the throat. Joyce Thunder
appeared to be sexually assulted
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
Spit it out Thompson...


                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
She ah.. ..sustained lacerations
to the stomach, vaginal area, and
the throat area sir.
Sheriff Presely puts his cigarette out and coughs. He is
standing there for a few seconds trying to comprehend what
was just told to him.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
Jesus Christ Thompson. What kinda
sick freak would do something like
this? I've seen some crazy stuff
in my day but this tops the cake!
I want who ever did this on a
silver platter and I don't mean
tommorow! Do you hear me Thompson?
Thompson starts to tell him something but the Sheriff
quickly cuts him off.
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
What Thompson, what is it?
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
Sir I've got something else I need
to tell you... There was another
incident last night up river.
Deputy Zeka and some men are there
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
And what the hell happened up
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
We just got the call sir.. But
there were bodies found there as
well. Don't have all the details
yet sir..
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
No shit Thompson...Listen up
people, I wanna 30 mile radius
search. I want road blocks. I want
everybody out there hunting the


                       SHERIFF PRESLEY (cont'd)
sick freak or freaks down that did
this. Lets go. Thompson get the
chopper and start scanning the
area now. I'm going up river to
the other site.
Deputy Reynolds walks up carrying a piece of paper.
Sir, you may want to take a look
at this. There were four. Here is
the registration sheet and this
camp site was registered to a
John, Paul, Joyce, and Brenda
Thunder. John and Brenda's
vehicles are still on the scene.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
Okay, lets get a team searching
down river and lets find out where
John and Brenda Thunder live and
get teams there a.s.a.p. Until we
find bodies their both suspects.
Reynolds gets a call on her radio, its Deputy Zeka.
Reynolds this is Deputy Zeka do
you copy?
Reynolds starts to reach for her radio when she sees
something shiny laying on the ground. She bends over to pick
it up. Deputy Zeka calls for her again.(V.O.) She gets some
prongs from a guy passing by and picks up the item. It's a
finger with a wedding ring on it. She gags a little and the
guy next to her opens up a bag and she puts the finger
inside. She walks over to her patrol car and answers Zeka.
Yeah Zeek this is Reynolds.
Hey I'm at the other site. Its a
nightmare up here.
Well it's pretty bad down here
too. I'm going to start walking
some trails that follow the river,


Okay, we've got a team together
now and will be heading south and
will catch up to you on the south
west side, copy.
Copy that.
Reynolds gets out of the car and heads down a trail.
POV- The angle is a high shot of a camp site. Scene jumps to
Devon getting kicked in the head by Jack.
Wake your asses up!!Get your drunk
asses up I said!!!!
Sporadically bodies start coming up out of the tents. Devon
is rubbing his head where Jack kicked him.
You don't have to kick a guy in
the head to wake his ass up
Jack flips Devon off. Everyone is out in the center of the
site. Now there are five men. The new guy is Tony, a very
tall and big guy with a slow draw to his talk.
It was your Idea to come out to
the sticks and do some camping out
bull-shit Jack.
Jack walks up to Menden.
Yeah..So? You got a problem with
me wanting to get out of the city
for a change dick head?
No! Just don't ride our asses...
this is your gig man.


      (trying to be calm)
Your right. My bad Menden. You
know what after we get out of here
and back to the city I'm gonna let
you guys choose where we go next
Menden and Tony rolls their eyes in distrust.
      (bossy tone)
Anyways, enough of the bullshiten.
I'm ready to get back home so
first of all we can't drive out of
here with the two bitches. It's to
far to fly back, and the cops will
be all over this place and I don't
have the energy to kill every pig
in the area so we are going to
float down river and two of you
will drive down river to pick us
up. Okay?
All four men shake their heads in agreement with Jack's
Deputy Reynolds walks up to the camp site and sees the five
men standing by the fire. She pauses for a second and then
proceeds into the site with a slight caugh to let them know
she's there.
Hello, I'm Deputy Reynolds. I want
to ask you guys a few questions.
It will only take a few minutes.
All five guys turn around with a deer in a headlight look on
their faces. Jack puffs on his cigarette for a few seconds
before talking to her. Jack then walks over to Reynolds.
Yes Mam. What's going on?
Well we had some trouble up river
last night and wanted to ask if
you guys saw or heard anything
last night.
What kinda of trouble Mam?


I'm not able to say. I just need
to know if you or anybody here
heard or saw anything suspicious
last night. Any help you can give
us will be great.
      (acting innocent)
No Mam, we got here late last
night, set up our camp, got a
little drunk, and passed out. We
didn't hear or see a thing.
Reynolds doesn't like the look of these guys and can see
that two of the men are looking at her with an intense look.
She starts to walk around the camp site. Jack glances over
at Devon. He is motioning with his eyes towards his tent for
Jack. Jack looks over at the tent and sees one of the girls
foot can be seen and it has blood on it. Reynolds keeps
turning her head that way but doesn't see it. Jack is just
waiting for her to see it. Jack puts his hand on his gun
that is in the back of his pants. Reynolds continues to walk
around and begins talking some more while she is inspecting.
Where are you guys from?
Uh.. Well, a little bit of
everywhere really.
Reynolds is standing in front of Devon's tent and is fixing
to comment on his answer when she sees a part of a marijuana
joint laying on the ground. She bends over to pick it up as
she is bent over she gets a good look at two women in the
tent tied up and gagged.( Brenda and Sarah) She turns around
and Jack has a gun pointed right at her face.
Who's your daddy bitch?
Reynolds puts her hands up. She knows this is not good.
Devon and the other guys start walking around her
Listen you don't want to do this.
You hurt me and it will be even
more trouble for you.


      (a little mad)
Listen lady I am trouble, okay?
As Jack is talking, Devon walks behind Reynolds. Reynolds is
getting really nervous.
Wow!! You are a fine ass pig if I
ever saw one. And Oh...were not
going to hurt you. No, no, no...
were going to take real good care
of you. Aint that right Devon?
You bet your ass we are!
Jack reaches out and rips Reynolds shirt open exposing her
breasts. He puts his hand between her legs and rubs her.
Reynolds starts to scream but jack covers her mouth.
So tell me, where is the rest of
your group? I know you didn't come
out here all by yourself. So
where's your buddies?
At first she says nothing, then Devon pulls out his knife
and starts rubbing it on her neck, some blood starts to flow
from a scatch he made. Jack quickly bends down and starts
licking it. Reynolds tries to struggle in disgust. Jack
leans back up smiling with blood on his mouth.
So where are they? Please...Don't
make me ask again.
They are behind me about 1500
yards. They will be here soon. If
you just let me go I will...
Jack cuts her off.
Right....sure they are.
Devon smells the air.


I don't smell nothin. Just her
pretty little ass.
We will all enjoy that soon
Jack grabs Reynolds radio and gun. He throws the radio in
the fire and the gun in the river. Jack pushes Reynolds on
the ground towards the Quiet One. The Queit One walks over
to Reynolds and with one hand bends down and picks her up.
No... No..!
The Quiet One carries her over to the tent and throws her in
with the other girls like a sack of feed. Reynolds quickly
sits up and watches him walk away. She looks over at Sarah
and Brenda. Sarah is just rocking back and forth insanely.
Brenda is crying under her gag. Reynolds rushes over and
ungags Sarah and then Brenda.
      (whispering/ tired)
Help us...please..you have to.
      (crying/ insane)
They ate my friends..They ate my
The two girls huddle up towards Reynolds. Reynolds puts her
arms around them and stares at the tent door.
                       JACK (v.o)
      (bossy tone)
Okay, lets load up and get the
hell out of here. Screw the tents,
just get what we need.
Zeka is walking through the woods with a few other men
looking through the woods intensely. He reaches down and
grabs his walkie -talkie and puts it to his mouth.


Reynolds do you copy?...Reynolds
do you Copy?...Dammit where is
Zeka looks back at the other men.
Lets move it guys.
                                         CUT TO
Zeka and the three men are still looking through the woods
intensely along a path along the river. Zeka is looking
around and sees some smoke up ahead. Zeka points his hand
towards the site to the other men. They all three walk up to
the site and see the tents. Zeka is looking around and
starts yelling.
Hello...Hello...anyone there?
The other men look in the tents and find nothing. Zeka walks
up to the smoldering ashes and sees something. He grabs a
stick and pushes Reynolds's walkie-talkie out of the ashes.
Zeka recognizes it as police issued and shows frustration.
Dammit...! I knew she shouldn't
have went alone!
The other men are shaking their heads in dissappointment.
Zeka kicks the dirt and reaches for his walkie- talkie.
Deputy Zeka to Sherriff
Presley...Do you copy?
Short seconds of silence then an answer.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY (v.o)
Yeah Zeka this Sherriff
Yeah Sherriff we have a situation
here. Deputy Reynolds is missing.
We found her radio. No sign of her
yet sir.


                       SHERIFF PRESLEY (v.o)
      (very angry)
You got to be shitten me!..God
Dammit Zeek you get your ass in
gear and find her now. I can't
beleive this bullshit...
Zeka puts the walkie-talkie to his side to muffle the
cussing and screaming. Everyone can still hear him but it is
not as clear. Sherriff Presely finally stops for a second
and Zeka sees a chance and talks.
Yes sir. Will do sir...over.
Scene fades out with Zeka putting his walkie-talkie on his
side and the other men start looking around some more.
John is laying on a table when he wakes up. He tries to sit
up but falls back down again. He sees a figure walking
around. Everything is still blurry and he can't make out a
clear image. He can hear some chanting sound. He hears a
drum beating. John feels his own heart beating harder and
harder with every beat of the drum. The anxiety from it all
gets the best of him and he raises up fast.
The old Indian walks over to John and tries to calm him
                       OLD INDIAN
      (calm voice)
Hey its okay, calm down.....Just
calm down... We're going to fix
you up.
John looks at him and pushes him away. John is in shock.
John looks at him intensely. John recognizes him as one of
the men from the bank corner. He looks in the corner of the
shack and the other two are passed out.
Where the hell am I?
After John asks the question, he gets a sharp pain in his
stomch area. John suddenly rembers what happened. John tries


to get up but his stomach is causing him so much pain. The
old Indian has his back to John and doesn't see him try and
get up at first.
                       OLD INDIAN
Your in my home. It's not much but
it keeps me warm. Don't get a lot
of traffic through here and it's
free...Hey you need to lay down!
      (cringing in pain)
I need to get to my family. I need
to help....
The old Indian rushes over to catch him before he falls but
doesn't make it in time. The old Indian is holding a cup in
his hand and is trying not to spill it. He helps John back
up with his free arm, and back onto the table. John lays
back down and starts to kind of cry.
I need to get back!
John looks up at the old Indian. The old Indian just gives
him a sad look and shakes his head.
                       OLD INDIAN
      (Soft tone)
They didn't make it John.
What do you mean they didn't make
it? None of them?
John starts pounding his fists by his sides. The old Indian
walks over by the fire.
                       OLD INDIAN
I went back there after we found
you. I saw your family and I saw
them start their journey.
I don't know what that means...All
I know is I have to get back there
John raises up and starts to get off the table again but he
gets another sharp pain in his stomach area, however this


time it is much stronger. The pain is so strong he curls up
and rolls off the table onto the floor. The old Indian walks
over and sees John start to go into cumpulsions. The old
Indian shakes his head and raises his arm in the air. The
old Indian is holding a wooden club. He comes down on the
back of John's head.
John wakes up and looks around the room. He realizes there
is no one around. He slowly hops off the table while holding
his stomach. He hears some chanting coming from outside the
shack. John walks over and opens the door. He sees the old
Indian around a camp fire. The old Indian is doing some
motions with his arms and is chanting in an Indian language.
The old Indian sees John and motions for him to come over
and sit down. John walks over sits opposite to the old
                       OLD INDIAN
John do you want revenge for what
has happened?
Ah...of course I do. I wanna
string the assholes up.
                       OLD INDIAN
John there is a way where you can
have the power for the revenge you
Okay what do I have to do?
                       OLD INDIAN
I'm going to have to use an old
practice that hasn't been done for
many years. It's dangerous and
once you do it you can never go
Okay.... Listen man I don't know
about this stuff okay. I appeciate
what you did but I just want to go
get a gun and kill these son of a
bitches okay.


John starts to stand up but the Old Indian throws some stuff
on the fire and a loud bang occurs which scares John and he
falls back down.
Woe.. what the hell was that? You
need to warn someone before do
stuff like that.
While John is talking he's also holding his stomach area.
                       OLD INDIAN
I'm sorry, but the men that killed
your family are not of this place
John rolls his eyes and stands up again.
                       OLD INDIAN
And soon...you will not be of this
John turns and looks at the woods.
What do you mean I will soon not
be of this place?
                       OLD INDIAN
They are evil. They have an evil
in them that can not be stopped by
man. They have put the evil in you
and soon you will be like them.
Your body is already starting to
change. If we don't do something
soon it will be too late for you.
So I'm infected, is that what your
saying? With an evil? So he bit me
and now I'm a vampire or
something. A freeking vampire.
The old Indian stands up and walks over to John.
                       OLD INDIAN
My grandfather use to talk of
stories about a beast that would
come at night and sleep with our
women. The woman would have their
children. They would kill the


                       OLD INDIAN (cont'd)
babies when they came out of the
mothers. Rumors were that some of
the women escaped to try and save
their babies.
As the old Indian is talking an image of a woman being raped
in a tee pee by an invisible force occurs. The Indian
husband runs out of the teepee asking for help. Then a scene
that shows an Indian women giving birth to a baby. The baby
is handed to a warrior. The baby is crying loudly, then the
crying stops abruptly. An image occurs of an Indian woman
running through the woods holding a baby. Four soldiers
catch the woman and take her away with the evil baby.
                       OLD INDIAN
Some were caught and some were
not. My grandfather says that this
is where the evil came from. A
medicine man in our tribe found
away to reverse the evil but not
the powers.
John turns and looks at the woods again and then back at the
old man. John shakes his head and walks over to the fire and
sits down.
Fine... Lets do this. If it will
make you happy and I can get out
of here then so be it.
                       OLD INDIAN
Okay John but once we do this you
must know that it can never be
undone. You will never be the same
Whatever lets do it!
The Old Indian walks close to the fire and puts his hands
over the fire and starts chanting. He then start doing a
stomp type dance and sporadicaly throwing a powder from a
pouch in the fire which creates a purple smoke and is doing
this for quite some time. John starts to get a little
anxious from bordem.


Listen man, I gotta go!
John starts to feel something going on inside him. John gets
a sharp pain in his stomach again. He cringes a little. A
mist starts to form around John.(A drumming beat starts to
play) John gives in and closes his eyes. The old Indian's
chanting seems to be chanting louder now. John tries to
focus in on him but everything is getting blurry. The
animals in the woods are starting to stir. John can here
them in their panic. John starts to float off the ground. He
laughs because it feels good. Then there is a loud "boom"
John's body goes into shock while in mid-air. Then another
bolt of lightning, then another. Ten bolts of lightning
strike John. The old Indian is thrown back from the blasts.
A few minutes pass by then the old Indian stands up and
looks over at John. John's body has smoke coming off of it
and John is curled up like a child.
                       OLD INDIAN
Hey, you alright? Hey?
The old Indian walks over in a curious walk.
                       OLD INDIAN
Hey John?
The old Indian turns John over. John's eyes are closed at
first. The old Indian shakes him. John opens his eyes. The
old Indian stumbles back in shock. John's eyes are
completely engulfed in a redish black color. John leans up
and grabs his head in pain.
What the hell did you do to me old
The Old Indian doesn't say anything he just walks over and
helps John up and they walk back to the shack.
John is still shaken up by the experience and is walking
around the shack trying to figure out what just happened.
The old Indian brings him a drink. John drinks it without


                       OLD INDIAN
There is something my dad told me
when I was young..
                       OLD INDIAN
If your going to do something do
it right! Or don't do it at all.
John gives him a look of confusion.
Good Stuff. I think every Dad has
said that.
                       OLD INDIAN
The only way you would have been
able to get a for sure revenge is
to become what you are now.
You talk like I'm some kind of
freak or something what's so
special about me. I don't feel
                       OLD INDIAN
Yeah but you are. You can move
like the wind. You can see like
the hawk. You are strong like the
bear, and nothing can stop you.
Yeah, okay...
                       OLD INDIAN
John see that rock in the corner
Yeah so?
                       OLD INDIAN
Pick it up.


Yeah right it must weigh 500
                       OLD INDIAN
      (a little mad)
Pick it up!!
Fine, I'll try.
John walks over to the rock and looks at it. John turns back
around and looks at the old Indian. He is just sitting there
staring at the rock. John turns back around and starts to
pace back and forth beside the rock.
Screw it!
John bends down and grabs the rock. He takes a big breath
and lifts. He picks it up and is walking around the room
with it laughing.
Wow. This is crazy.
The old Indian gives John a smile but says nothing.
And you said I can move like the
wind right?
John drops the rock and looks at the front door and in an
instant he is at the front door. He then moves fast over to
a mirror hanging on the wall. John sees his eyes for the
first time. John stands there in amazement. He turns and
looks at the old Indian. The old Indian walks over to a
chest in another corner of the shack.
Why are my eyes like this? Are
they going to go back to the way
they were?
                       OLD INDIAN
You are going to need some
weapons. I have a few that you can
John walks over and stands next to the Old Indian.


How long will I be like this?
The Old Indian looks up at him and gives him a sye.
                       OLD INDIAN
      (calm voice)
I don't know John. I've never done
this before. My grandfather use to
talk of a warrior who would
protect his people. He sad that
the warrior was not like other men
and never was. Never...
John lowers his head and clinches his fist.
So be it. Lets see what you got.
                       OLD INDIAN
Here, this is an old bow I made
when I was about your age. I've
killed a lot of deer with that my
friend. Here is my skinning knife.
This knife has been with my family
for a long time. It is a good
John grabs the knife and is twirling it around. He likes the
way it is balanced in his hand.
                       OLD INDIAN
This is a Tomahawk. It has been in
the family for many years.
It looks pretty new.
                       OLD INDIAN
Okay, I won it last year at the
county fair, but I like the hell
out of it and I have put a pretty
good edge on it.
John Laughs at the old man's half lived lie.
John gets the weapons together and sees his boots in the
corner and puts them on. He walks out of the shack door and
turns back and looks at the Old Indian.


Well I guess I'm off.
As the old Indian is walking over to John he is cracking a
can of beer open.
                       OLD INDIAN
John I'm glad I found you. I hope
those assholes get what they have
They will don't worry. Hey what is
you name? Unless you like me
calling you Old Man?
The old Indian takes a big swig of his beer and wipes his
mouth before speaking.
                       OLD INDIAN
Joe.... Joe Birdshed.
Okay Joe... My friend I will see
you soon.
Joe waves goodbye to John as he runs into the trees.
                       OLD INDIAN
      (talking to
Don't thank me just yet...John
John starts running through the woods.(Music starts to play)
He's moving fast, then faster. John jumps into the tree tops
and is running from tree to tree like there is a road up
there. Flashbacks of his family being murdered come back to
him as he runs. John starts to run faster and faster. He's
running so fast the it is making a sound through the woods
like a hurricane. John stops. He looks down at the ground
and he can tell he is pretty far up. He jumps down. When
John hits the ground he lands perfect. There is a "boom"
when he hits and leaves scatter all around him. Scene fades
out with John running farther into the woods.


The Quiet One and Menden are driving down a dirt road in a
newer black pick up truck. The radio is playing. The Quiet
One is driving. Menden is smoking on a joint and tries to
pass it to the Quiet One.
Hey hit this shit man! It won't
kill you.
The Quiet One reaches over and grabs the joint and takes
some puffs. Menden starts laughing from his own comment.
Won't kill you...I love it.
The Quiet One gives a little laugh and passes it back to
Hey man pull over...I have to piss
The Quiet One doen't pull over just looks ahead and keeps
driving. Menden starts snapping his fingers by the Quiet
One's face.
Hey I said pull over ass! It won't
kill you to pull over!
Menden starts laughing again at his own comment. The Quiet
One pulls over and Menden opens the door still laughing and
gets out.
      (laughing/ talking
It won't kill you to pull over.
That's great.
The Quiet One rolls his eyes as Menden walks to the side of
the road and starts pissing on the ground. Menden talks to
the Quiet One during the process.
Why did I get stuck with your ass.
Jack knows that I can't stand that


                       MENDEN (cont'd)
you won't talk. I know you can. I
remember you crying for help while
Jack bit the shit out of your
neck. You could sure talk then.
Menden zips up and turns around towards the truck only to be
met by the Quiet One's fist hitting his face. Menden
stumbles back.
Oh you wanna go little man? Lets
see what you got. I'll make you
scream for help again bitch.
The Quiet One extends has hand out and pulls his fingers
back and fowards in a bring it on expression. Menden smiles
and lunges towards The Quiet One. The two wrestle around in
the road like a couple of school kids in a play ground
fight. This goes on for a few minutes unitl a strong burst
of wind flys by them and catches both of their attention.
They both stand up and smell the air. The point of view
moves to an arrow flying through the air unitl it enters the
Quiet Ones throat which gushes blood everywhere. Menden
looks at The Quiet One. Then another arrow flys through the
air however Menden catches it just inches from his face and
throws it to the ground. The Quiet One pulls the arrow out
of his throat and is pissed off.
      (angry/ yelling)
You wanna play, we will play! It's
feeding time!
Menden looks at the Quiet One and points up. They both jump
and fly above the trees. They are looking down searching for
some movement. The Quiet One flies down for a closer look.
He is looking intensely in the trees. Menden is looking in
another direction. However, in the back ground you see John
leep from the trees and drag the Quiet One into the trees.
Menden turns back and sees that The Quiet One is not there
any more.
Hey what the fuck? Did you find
someone or what?
Menden is hoovering and waiting for a response when he sees
something from the trees coming towards him. Menden catches
it like a basketball and quickly realizes it's the Quiet


One's head. He throws it back towards the trees and becomes
very angry.
      (yelling / talking
You think I care about that
asshole!... Come out, come out
where ever you are.
Menden waits for a second and is fixing to start yelling
again when he sees John walk out of the trees and into to
the road. Menden smiles and quickly flies towards him.
Menden lands across from him and they are looking at each
other face to face. Menden has a flash back of John being
punched into the river.
Your not dead yet? I thought we
took care of you along time ago.
Take care of me? You can't take
care of your self.
John moves fast behind Menden and pushes him foward. Menden
turns around and cracks his kneck in a left to right style
and lunges at John. John grabs his neck in mid air and slams
him to the ground. Menden reaches up with his legs and
clinches John's neck and brings him to the ground as well.
Menden quickly gets on top of John and starts punching him
in the face. John finally grabs one of Menden's fists and
twists him off of him. They both get up and are walking in a
circle feeling each other out.
Well I didn't expect that
Good, then you wont expect this!
John runs up to Menden. Menden swings and John ducks, rolls
on the ground, while he is rolling he reaches for his knife
and comes up behind Menden again. Menden turns around and
John slams the knife through Menden's Jaw exiting his skull.
John pulls the knife out and wipes it off on Menden's face.
Menden is standing there for a few seconds whith his eyes
rolled back but falls to his knees. John reaches down and
grabs the side of his head and rips it off Menden's body.


Menden's body falls to the ground and John drops the head.
Scene fades out with John running into the trees.
Jack, Devon, and Tony are sitting on the bank waiting on
Menden and the Quiet One. The three girls are tied and
gagged over by a tree. Jack is getting impatient.
Where the hell are they? They
should have been here a long time
Dont know..Maybe they ran into
some trouble with the law.
Or maybe your an asshole? No cop
is going to stop them from being
here this long.
Tony looks at Devon and shakes his head. Also at this time
John comes up on the site and sees the three men. He sees
Jack and his eyes slant in anger. Then he looks and sees the
girls by the tree and notices that one is his sister. John
lets out a sye of relief.
      (slow draw)
All I know is I am getting hungry.
Tony looks over at the girls and is staring at them
Don't even think about it Tony.
Yeah lard ass. You eat more than
two of us do.
I told you not to call me that!
Tony starts to swing at Devon but Jack catches his fist and
squeezes. Tony goes to his knees in pain.


Both of you shut the hell up or
I'll take you both out right now.
Devon nods his head in fear and Tony nods his head and
stands back up.
      (bossy tone)
Now Menden is not hear so it looks
like one of you will have to go
find us a car and come back. Whose
it going to be?
Tony steps foward.
I'll do it.
Okay, thats what I like to see.
Alittle initiative. Tony you...
About that time some car lights appear through the trees and
are heading towards the landing. John cusses silently to
himself. He wanted to take Tony out when he was alone.
There he is. It's about time!
Who ever it is we got a ride home.
                                         CUT TO
In the cab of the truck there is an older man driving. There
are boxes of worms on the dash of the truck. He takes a big
swig of a beer he has in his lap. Some country music is
                       OLD MAN
      (drunk/ singing)
Gonna catch me some fish...Gonna
catch me some fish...Woman done
left me...gonna catch me some


The old man turns down the path towards the landing.
                       OLD MAN
      (talking to the
Here we are....(burp) my little
buddies. Time to go swimming.
The Old Man stops the truck and gets out. He unzipps his
pants and starts peeing and looking at the river. He hears
something and looks around and sees Tony walking out of the
trees and then he sees Devon walk out of the trees.
                       OLD MAN
Oh shit..looks like you caught me
with my dick in my hand.
The Old Man is laughing at his joke but realizes that the
two men are not laughing.
                       OLD MAN
Dang...tough crowd.
The Old Man hurries to straighten himself up but is having
trouble. He feels some one behind him so he turns around and
he is looking Jack eye to eye
                       OLD MAN
Jack grabs the Old Man's head and starts to squeeze. The Old
Man starts to kinda struggle in pain. Then there is a loud
thud. Jack looks at the truck and sees a dent in the side of
the truck and Menden's head on the ground next to the truck.
Jack immediately throws the Old Man down and starts looking
Come out and get some asshole!
John sits there for a minute. Jack yanks the Old Man up and
sticks a knife to his throat.
I'm gonna count to three. If you
are not out here I am going to see
if this guy can breath through
his neck!


There is a silence for a few seconds.
John steps out of the woods with his head down. He walks up
close to the men. Devon and Tony surround him on the back
side and Jack is in the front. Jack has a curious look on
his face.
Look at me when I talk to you boy.
John raises his head up slowly and John's redish black eyes
meet Jacks. Jack shakes his head in amazement.
      (low voice)
My turn Jack.
John swings and uppercuts Jack and sends him to the ground.
Tony and Devon quickly start attacking John.
Time to bleed asshole.
Devon grabs John shoulders and swings him around. Tony
punches John in the face. John stumbles back. Devon runs and
lunges in the air towards John, however John grabs him in
mid air and throws him towards Tony knocking them both down.
Jack goes over to the girls while this is going on and picks
them up. All three girls are yelling for John to help them
under their gags. John looks back at them but is overwhelmed
by Devon and Tony while distracted. Tony grabs John and
Devon starts unloading punch after punch on John's face and
stomach. Tony pushes John to the ground.
You thought that you could hang
with us boy. You better recognize
dick head.
      (breathing hard)
I do recognize....


Tony and Devon move in a little closer to hear what he has
to say.
What did you say punk?
John raises his head up and looks at both them.
      (breathing hard)
I said...I do recognize that you
are... a dick head.
John starts laughing and puts the middle finger up on both
hands towards Devon and Tony. Tony's face cringes in anger
and reaches down to pick John up. John sees the opportunity
and reaches for the knife in his boot and comes up fast into
Tony's private area. Tony starts gasping for air, then Deep
gasps. Devon steps back and just stares at Tony walking
around gasping. John stands up.
Oh man that has got to hurt.. Your
gonna pay for that navajo.
John walks towards Devon knife in hand.
Do you ever shut up?
I shut your momma up bitch.
John's blood starts to boil and he starts to lunge at Devon
when hears Jack yell from the old man's truck.
Hey!!!! We will deal with him
later..lets go. John!... go fetch!
Jack bends down and picks the old man up and throws him high
into the tree tops. John hesitates for a few seconds trying
to figure out which way to go.
                       OLD MAN
Help!!! Oh shit! Help!!
John shakes his head and runs up the tree.


I got ya.. Just calm down.
John quickly takes him to the ground.
                       OLD MAN
Thank you! ohhhhh thank you..What
the hell are you guys. Jeez. Just
trying to do a little fishin.
Look I got to go okay...Someone
will be bye soon just stay here.
John bolts off through the trees trying to catch up with the
                                         CUT TO
Tony and the girls are in the back of the truck. Jack and
Devon are in the front. Tony is still grabbing his crouch
area in a little pain. His powers help him heal faster but
it still hurts.
Do me a favor Jack..
What man! What now?
The next time you kill someones
Mom, Dad, and kidnap their sister
make sure you kill the son of a
Yeah..Yeah..Yeah.. dont worry
about John. I got this. Besides we
havent had this much fun in years.
Isn't it good to get the old blood
flowing again. Huh?
Well lets just hope that your fun
doesn't turn into a shit storm.
Tony starts pounding on the window and yelling.


Hey....he's coming. I see him.
Okay..Okay..I guess we are going
to have to give him another
John is getting closer and closer to the truck. He is moving
fast along the road. John is close enough now that he can
see people in the back of the truck. He starts to run faster
but sees Tony stand up and grab one of the girls.
Time for you to go!!
Dump her over...now!
John sees Tony push someone over the side of the truck. The
body rolls down the highway then into the ditch. John
Brenda!!! Ahhhh!!!
John quickly runs over to the limp body in the ditch. He
runs up and is almost afraid to look because he is afraid it
is Brenda. He bends down and rolls the girl over and it's
Sarah. John thinks she is dead and is fixing to take off
back towards the truck but hears Sarah talk.
Help me...help.
John looks back at the truck and then back at Sarah. He
kicks the ground and bends down to pick Sarah up. He carries
her off through the trees.
A paramedic at the local hospital steps out a back door and
lights a cigarette. He walks down a few steps and stretches
his arms out and makes a growling sound. He turns around
and starts to walk towards the back door when he hears a
moan. He quickly turns around and where he was just standing
is Sarah, laying very beaten up.


What the hell!
The paramedic runs to Sarah and bends down beside her.
What the hell happened to
you?....Hold on I will be right
Scene fades out with the paramedic running back towards the
door and motioning for others inside to come help.
Deputy Zeka is sitting at his desk looking over some photos
of the recent murders and bodies found. Deputy Thompson
walks up holding some papers.
Hey how ya doin?
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
Just got the prints from the two
bodies found this morning.
Have we identified them yet?
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
I don't know. I think the machine
is broke. One of the male's finger
prints come back as Menden Johnson
last known address is in Waco,
Texas. But check this out...date
of birth...November first 1925!
That can't be right.
                       DEPUTY THOMPSON
I know...but the other guy comes
back as Arron Nault from
Washington...date of bith
1959...these guys cant be more
than twenty-five to thirty years


Zeka thumbs through some photos..and shakes his head in
confusion. Sherriff Presely walks up fast.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY
I just got a call from the
hospital saying that Sarah
Dobrinski is at the Hospital. She
is in critical condition. Get down
there and wait for some answers!
Find out some more on these two
Zeka stands up and grabs his coffee and walks towards the
door. In the back ground you see Deputy Thompson run into
Sherriff Presely on accident.
                       SHERIFF PRESLEY (v.o.)
Get the hell out of my way
Everyone in the office looks over at Deputy Thompson. Most
of them are laughing to themselves. Zeka shakes his head as
he walks out.
Deputy Zeka walks up to John's house. All the lights appear
to be off from the outside. Zeka rings the door bell and
stands there for a minute. Zeka turns the door handle and it
is unlocked. Zeka steps inside and shines his flash light
through the entry and into the living room.
Hello...Any one home? This is
Deputy Zeka with the Sheriff's
Zeka walks further in. He scans the living room, shines the
light in the dining area, and starts to turn to his left
down a hall way when John slams him up against the wall.
Jesus Christ!
John picks Zeka up off the ground and is pushing him high
against the wall.


Wrong! What do you want?
I wanna talk.
John lowers him to the ground and gives him a little push
against the wall. John turns around and starts to walk away.
Zeka reaches for his gun but it's not there. He looks up at
John and he is holding it with his middle finger in the air.
Zeka says "shit" to himself and shows some anger.
Again, what do you want?
I wanna know what happened out
there. What happened to your
family. What happened to Deputy
Reynolds? I need some answers!
John bends down and picks a bag up off the floor. Deputy
Zeka reaches for the light switch on the wall and flicks it
on. Zeka looks back at John and he is gone.
John?... Hello?
John is in Zeka's face instantly. Zeka sees John's eyes and
falls to the floor. Zeka starts moving backwards.
      (angry/ yelling)
This did it!..This is what
happened to my family and everyone
else out there! Only it wasn't me!
They made me like this!
      (scared/ curious)
Who made you like this John?
Listen, we can get you some help.
We just wanna know where the
others are.
John puts his hand out to Zeka. Zeka grabs it and John pulls
him up.


You cant help me. These things are
not Human. I'm the only one who
can stop them and that's what I
aim to do!
You're not making any since!
John speeds across the room faster than Zeka can watch him
move. Then Zeka looses him for a second then looks up and
John is in the Vaulted ceiling rafters. John Drops to the
Does that make since Deputy? These
things are like me! I have to stop
them and get my sister back!
Zeka shakes his head alittle in confusion.
I'm wasting time! I have to get
some stuff and head towards
Muskogee. No telling whats going
on there!
Zeka puts his hands on John's shoulder to slow him down a
They have Reynolds, don't they?
John unwillingly shakes his head yes.
I'm coming with you!
I don't think so.. you will only
slow me down. Trust me it's best
if you stay here.
Zeka starts to say something but John turns and gives him a
look of insane anger.
I said no!


John walks into the garage. Zeka drops his cell phone in an
opened bag on the floor that John was holding earlier. Zeka
walks into the garage where John is.
      (angry/ yelling)
Fine..but you better bring her
home or I will make it my life
mission to destroy you. What ever
you are!
John walks back inside and grabs his bag and then walks back
into the garage.
Whatever is right Deputy Zeka...
John gets on his motorcycle and starts it up. The bike is
very loud.
I will find them...I promise!
Zeka walks up to John and shakes his hand and they both look
at each other in the eyes for a second.
Scene cuts to John Pulling out of the drive and taking off
in a high speed. Zeka is sitting in his Patrol Car. Zeka
Picks up his CB radio.
Dispatch this is Deputy Zeka, I
need to get a trace on my
cellphone asap. Over.
Zeka lights a cigarette and gives it a big puff.
      (womans voice)
Roger that Deputy Zeka, we are on
Jack pulls slowly up to a gate. he punches a few numbers
into a key pad and it slowly opens up. Jack drives foward
and an old Mansion comes into view.
Finally..no more camping for me!


Jack shakes his head and gets out. Tony stands up in the
back of the truck and grabs Brenda by the hair. Brenda
screams under her gag. Reynolds kicks at Tony. Jack quickly
jumps in the back of the truck and smiles at Reynolds.
      (talking sweet)
Come on sugar puss. It's time to
go fall in love..
Reynolds eyes show confusion and then anger as Jack pulls
her up. She starts struggling and Jack slaps her hard across
the face and pulls her out of the back of the truck.
So much for the suttle approach.
The three men and the girls walk into the mansion. It's a
very nice and luxurious on the inside. Jack is pushing
Reynolds through the foyer and towards the back and Tony has
Brenda by the arm bringing her. There are other men and
women inside smiling at the girls as they walk through the
mansion. A few are licking their lips. Brenda sees them and
closes her eyes in fear for a second.
Dont worry about them, they wont
touch you unless we say so.
Until we say so...
The group comes to some stairs that go down towards a
basement. They walk down the stairs and come to a large
door. The doors opens and Reynolds eyes are in shock. The
room is full of steel bar cages. There are two to three
women in all the cages. Jack pushes Reynolds to go inside.
As Reynolds is walking through she can see that all the
women seem to be young and attractive. Most however look
spaced out or drugged up.
Welcome to your new home.
They have stopped at an empty cage. The cages have two beds,
a couple of chairs, and a toilet. Jack ungags the two girls
and pushes them in. Jack closes the door and smiles at the


No!..No.. You can't do this to us.
Reynolds grabs the bars and has her face as far through the
bars as she can get it.
Calm down now. I don't want to
have to sedate you, but I will. We
have ways of making you adjust to
your new environment.
Reynolds backs up and sits down on a small bed in the cage
and puts her hands over her face. Brenda is in the corner of
cage shaking and scared. Jack turns and walks away and as he
is walking he points his finger in the air.
There will be some people by soon
to clean you up. We like to keep
our produce fresh in this house.
Jack slams the big door on his way out. A girl in the cage
next to Reynold's and Brenda's walks closer to their cage.
Welcome to Hell ladies.
Reynolds stands up and walks over to Melody.
What is this place? Why are we
Your here for them. You are now
their property...just like the
rest of us.
Reynolds sits in a chair that was beside her.
Property, I am no ones property.
This is crazy!


Crazy is right, but it is real. We
are their drink, sex, or meat.
What ever fancies their pleasure.
When they get tired of us we get
shipped off. Once a month there is
a shipping day. See those girls
down the row. They are getting
shipped off tomorrow.
Reynolds shakes her head in disbelief then looks over at
Brenda who is passed out from exhaustion.
Shipped where?
Everywhere...I've over heard a few
conversations, and sometimes it's
about the colony to the north,
sometimes it's the colony in El
Paso, and I've heard of a Colony
in Russia. So who knows where any
of us will end up.
Well its pretty obvious that these
things aren't human. So what the
hell are they?
Melody lights a cigarette before speaking.
Besides pieces of shit...From what
I have seen, they are a
combination of a Vampire, a
Werewolf, Pimp, Drug User, Drug
Dealer, Demon, oh and a sex crazed
V.O. Big door slams shut. Melody and Reynolds look down the
hall and see three men, who look evil coming towards the


It's time for your bath. Just do
what your told. Don't piss these
guys off.
Reynolds eyes widen as the three men come to the cage and
open the door. The men walk in and grab Reynolds and Brenda.
Brenda wakes up and starts screaming. One of the men pull
out a surindge and gives Brenda a shot and she quickly calms
down. They walk towards the big door.
      (V.O - Yelling)
Do what your told and stay alive!
The Three men bring Reynolds and Brenda into a very large
room. There is very large bath tub in the middle of the room
that looks like it would hold four to five people. There are
lots of men in the room sitting around tables drinking and
smoking. The three men bring Brenda and Reynolds to the bath
Take off your clothes and get in
      (angry / tired)
I don't think so asshole! No way!
The Guard slaps Brenda across the face, which sends her
flying across the room. The Guard walks over to Brenda and
picks her up. He walks her over to the bath tub. The crowd
of men are excited now and are ready for a show.
Take off your clothes and get in!
Reynolds whispers to Brenda.
Just do it.
While she is whispering to Brenda She looks up and sees Jack
and Devon Sitting at one of the tables.
Reynolds and Brenda both unwillingly remove their clothing
and get into the bath tub. Jack and Devon walk over to the


bath tub and the scene fades out with them starting to get
John is walking down a street with some sun glasses on and a
hat. John sees a man on a corner leaning into a car talking
to some people. John walks closer.
      (talking into car)
Alright guys you take it easy. You
need anything else let me know.
The man on the corner turns around and sees John walking
towards him. The man on the corner thinks he's a cop and
takes off running. He is running through an alley, then
through neighborhood yards. He stops for a break to catch
his breath and hides in some bushes.
      (Talking to
Shit who the hell was that. Gonna
try and bust me? To fast for their
asses Jack!
About the time he says that, he hears something beside him.
He turns his head and it's John. They are nose to nose. The
Man on the corner starts to jump out of the bushes but John
grabs him and throws him to the ground.
What the fuck man? That shit ain't
John walks up grabs his head and picks him up off the
Hey..Hey..Hey..what are doing man.
I'm gonna sue the police
department. That's right. I'm
gonna be rolling fly... asshole
and you are gonna be looking for a
job. I hope someone has a camera..
Hey someone get a camera hey
someone get this shit on.....


As he is saying that an old women opens a back door to the
property they are in and sees the men and quickly closes it
out of fear. John back hands the Man on the corner's mouth.
Shut the hell up! I talk you
listen..that's it! You talk when I
ask you a question okay?
      (pissed off)
Why don't you go screw your...
John back hands his mouth again. This time blood is flowing
a little from the Man on the corner's mouth.
I talk, you listen!
Fine man what the hell ever! You
say listen.. I'll listen. So talk.
John grabs the guys shoulders and makes him sit back down.
John squats down on his toes and begins talking to the Man
on the corner.
      (talking serious)
Okay first of all I am not a cop.
What? Then I dont need...
John pulls his knife out and is holding it close to his leg.
                       CURTIS (continued)
      (very scared)
Okay man! You talk I
      (talking serious)
I wont hurt you but I want some
answers. I am looking for some
guys that you might know. Jack,
Tony, Menden, and Devon. Do these
names sound familiar.


Man I don't know shit.
      (getting angry)
Yeah, really you don't know these
guys huh.
Me.... know... nothing.
John leans a little closer to him.
What's your name?
Curtis.. Curtis Campbell. People
call me C.C.
      (talking serious)
Curtis have you ever seen death?
Looked death in the eyes Curtis?
Curtis pulls out a pack of smokes and starts to pull one out
but John slaps them out of his hand.
Shit man! What?.. What?
Have you ever....
Yeah man I have lots of times.
I've been shot at, stabbed, done
some bad dope so!
John sits there for a second. Then pulls his sunglasses off.
      (calm voice)
This is death knocking at your
door Curtis.
Curtis gets very scared and tries to crawl backwards but
John stands up and is towering over him.


      (pleading voice)
OH..shit man. I'm sorry man. I'm
so sorry man. Don't hurt me. I've
got kids man. Just don't...
      (calm voice)
You ready to help me now Curtis?
Curtis's eyes widen.
Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Man you
gotta give me more than names here
man! This is a big town man.
John puts his glasses back on.
Well they are young guys. Look
like biker, preppie, and grunge
all in one. Dudes wear a lot of
leather and tats all over their
arms. Marine tats and a bunch of
crazy skull and bones stuff.
Curtis is thinking for a second then his eyes widen a
Man here awhile back a friend
asked me to take some stuff out to
the country. Man this wasn't no
regular house, looked like a
mansion or somethin. It was big as
hell man. I knocked on the door
and a dude just like what you
described answered the door. Man
I had a weird feeling and got the
fuck outta there man..... for
      (calm voice)
You got a car?
Man I'm not saying thats them
though man!


      (getting angry)
Do you have a car?
Curtis looks up at him and unwillingly nods his head yes.
Scene fades out.
Curtis and John are driving through town in Curtis's old
clunker. Curtis keeps looking over at John in curiousity.
Hey man? You gotta a name?
John looks at Curtis and then looks away.
Curtis roles his eyes.
All I'm saying is you know my name
and its only fair that I know your
Fine it's John.
Okay John, nice to meat you. Now
can you tell me why you want these
dick heads so bad?
John looks over at Curtis again and looks away.
They killed my family. Now I am
going to kill them and get my
sister back.
Kill them?
John is quiet.
Hey man I ain't never killed
nobody that I know of. I am sorry
about your family.... but I am not
going back to prison for some shit


                       CURTIS (cont'd)
like this!
Listen, just get me there. I will
take care of it.. Okay?
Curtis doesn't respond to John's comment he just mumbles
somethings to himself while he turns down a residential
Man its way the hell out there!
John starts looking around intensely. There are some
prostitutes talking to them as they drive by. He sees a
group of men sitting on a porch.
Hey there's Marcus. He owes me
money. I've been looking for his
John cuts him off.
Just drive.
Curtis looks back at Marcus and grits his teeth. Curtis
continues down the rode.
                                         CUT TO
A view of Curtis's car driving down a rural road. The car
pulls over on the side of the road by a large gate.
Okay man it's right there. You
want them, that's the house.
Lets just sit here for a minute
and see what's going on.
Listen, I am a business man okay?
Time is money and this little
adventure has taken alot of my
time so I would appreciate it if


                       CURTIS (cont'd)
you could handle your own business
from here.
John looks over at Curtis and gives him another look.
Oh the look, there is the look
again. Man I tell you what..
Chill out! Now! Just one minute!
Curtis just looks out his window and is mumbling to himself.
Minutes pass by when John sees Devon walk out side with some
bags and is putting them into a vehicle.
Hey there's one right there.
John doesn't say anything, he just stares intensely at
Devon. Devon finishes loading some stuff into the vehicle
and walks back inside. John turns to Curtis.
I'm going in. You can go now. I
appreciate your help.
What do you mean your going in?
You don't know what's in there
John puts his hand on Curtis's shoulder.
I have to. They killed my family
and my sister is in there.
      (Sad / Bossy)
Okay man...But you watch your ass!
Will do C.C.
John gets out of the car and leaps over a large stone wall.
Curtis watches him. Then turns and looks down the road.


I was just minding my own business
and now I'm stuck in a god dam
scifi movie from hell!!
A Guard is walking on a balcony looking around. He turns
towards the door and John quickly jumps to the landing
twists his kneck completly around.
                                         CUT TO
John walks through the balcony door into a room. There are
three women laying on the bed half naked and a sleep. John
creeps by them and opens the door to the hallway. He
continues to creep down the hallway towards the stairs. He
stops at the stairs and looks down. There are a couple of
guys down there. John looks around in frustration and sees
two swords on the wall. He grabs one of them and leaps over
the railing and twists in the air. John pushes the sword
down the mans skull while landing. The other man immediately
attacks John. The Guard swings at John and John grabs his
arm and twists it behind him and pushes up until it cracks.
The Guard screams and lunges at John with the other hand,
striking hard on John's face. John is knocked to his knees.
John sees the sword in the dead Guard's skull. He jumps in
the air, grabbing the sword on the way then lands. The
injured Guard comes at John. John spins low and fast,
cutting the Guard in half. John sees two double doors and
walks through them. When he walks in he sees numerous men
sitting around. Jack is standing close to the center by the
bath tub clapping his hands and then points up behind John.
John turns around and looks up. There is a big screen
showing the front foyer and the two dead Guards. He quickly
turns back towards Jack.
I am impressed John. I truly am.
You have came so far! Wooo!
      (insane/ angry)
Yeah well...I'm just getting
started Jack...Stick around for
the ending its gonna be a good
Jack walks towards John.


Oh no my friend..
I'm not your friend!!
Non the less.. Your journey ends
Jack points over to the crowd and snaps his fingers. A Guard
brings Brenda and Reynolds over to Jack, wearing only long
towels. They are struggling and scared. They both see John.
John's eyes get real big.
      (bossy tone)
Give up John or both of the
bitches die tonight.
Brenda struggles hard and screams.
John!! Help me!
John lowers his head! He grits his teeth and clinches his
fist around the sword tight. John quickly turns and runs out
the double doors. He knows he cant help them if he's dead.
Brenda cries harder. Reynolds also has a confused look on
her face. Jack yells at John.
      (Angry/ Yelling)
We are coming for you John....Get
that son of a bitch now!
Jack throws Brenda down and points at the double doors. All
the men accept for Jack go after John.
Good move John.. Good move..
John runs in top speed to the upstairs and out the balcony
he came in on. He glances around for a moment. There is a
large wooded area behind the mansion. John, with a large
leap, jumps out towards the trees. One of the Guards follows
John out the window. While in the air John turns and throws
the sword at the Guard. The sword slams through the Guard's


chest pushing him back into the Mansion wall where it is
stuck in the wall. John finishes falling into the trees. He
lands perfectly and immediately turns and looks back at the
                                         CUT TO
Curtis is sitting in the Driver's seat. He is nervous and
keeps looking around.
Dammit man! This is some bullshit!
I was just enjoying may day then
this dude comes up!
Curtis's eyes widen when he looks in his rear view mirror
and sees Police Cars coming up very fast. In the lead is a
heavy duty aasult vehicle that speeds by Curtis's car first.
What the Fuck!
As the Heavy duty vehicle passes the other law enforcement
vehicles follow behind. Curtis looks over at the Lead
vehicle barge through the gate.
Oh shit!
                                         CUT TO
John hears the clashing of metal when the lead vehicle
crashes through the gate. He looks towards the crash and
sees the Lead vehicle pull up fast towards the front of the
mansion and stop. Deputy Zeka jumps out of the passenger
door holding a machine gun. John quickly runs back towards
the house. As he approaches he sees an exterior basement
door with chains around the handles. He quickly brakes the
chains and enters through the doors.

Zeka can be seen pointing at the mansion and yelling.


                                         CUT TO
Jack is sitting in his Bosse's chair when he hears the crash
of the lead vehicle burst through the front doors. He
quickly looks up at his screen and sees dust and ruble in
the entry way. Officers are starting to come in through the
gaps on the sides of the lead vehicle.
Kill them all!
Devon and the rest of Jack's flock rush towards the doors
leading to the foyer.
                                         CUT TO
Curtis starts the car up, pulls his hood over his head, and
does a U-turn.
      (worried/ scared)
That's it I'm outta here. I got
kids, I got bills to pay, and
screw all this!!
                                         CUT TO
John makes his way through some tunnels and some heavy duty
Cobb Webs. He comes to a wooden door. John rears back and
kicks it hard. The door goes flying across the walkway in
the center of basement. The women scream. John looks
surprised. He looks around and sees an oversized hammer
leaning against the wall. He quickly grabs it. John swings
it wildly but also with precision knock the locks off of the
cages. When he is at the end of cages he looks back at the
Get out of here now! Go that way!
John points at the hole where the doors used to be. Many of
the Women quickly get up and run out of their cells. And
some are being helped out of their cells. John turns and
opens another set of big doors. He quickly runs up some
winding stairs as gets closer to the top he can hear gun


fire and men screaming. he grits his teeth and continues to
run up the stairs.
                                         CUT TO
Many law enforcement officers and Jacks's flock are fighting
in the foyer and other parts of the center part of the
mansion. Zeka is on the stairs shooting down at the monsters
attacking other officers. Devon rips the heard off of one
Officer. Zeka shoots Devon with his shot gun. Devon looks
looks up and sees Zeka. Devon points his finger at him. Then
Devon leaps in the air towards Zeka. Zeka continues to pump
and shoot at Devon. However none seem to phase him. Zeka
starts to pump again and is quickly slammed down hard by
You cant touch this! I'm a bad
Devon pulls his hand back to charge his open hand strike at
Zeka. Zeka closes his eyes and cringes in anticipation for
the blow. As soon as he thought it was gonna hit he feels
all the weight get pulled off of him and a loud thud. He
quickly looks up towards the second floor. John and Devon
are rolling in the air. (punching each other as they turn).
They hit the second floor and both make their way to their
feet. Both are staring each other down and in an attack
where are they!
Right where you left them. Those
bitches weren't worth all this
trouble.. But you can't tell Jack
that, he feeds on this shit! He
considers it a change of pace or
some shit!
John lunges at Devon but Devon counters and twists around
and puts John in a head lock.


Oh! Nice try soldier!.. You know
after all this is done I'm gonna
take your sister and..
In mid sentence John grabs Devons waist and jumps as hard as
he can towards the Ceiling.
                                         CUT TO
John and Devon burst through the floor and hit the ceiling
in the bedroom very hard. It puts a large indention in the
ceiling. They both fall to the floor. Devon takes the brunt
off the force and when he lands he spits blood out. John
slowly stands up and towers over Devon. Breathing hard, John
walks over by Devon's head. John picks his leg up.
You ain't doing shit!
John slams his foot hard onto Devon's head. John pulls his
foot out of the floor. Devon's head was removed and
implanted into the floor about 6 inches.

John turns and runs out bedroom door. He looks down at the
foyer and still sees men fighting. He leaps down to the
first floor. He lands with authority and a loud boom. For a
brief moment everyone stops and looks at him. He is standing
behind a monster who starts to turn around. As he is turning
John reaches in his boot and grabs his knife. John quickly
inserts it in the side of the Monster and leaps up and over,
cutting his entire side along the way. A few of the
Officer's eyes widen at the display including Zeka's. Then
the fighting continues. John is trying to make his way to
the ball room, along the way he does punch some of the
monsters to the ground. As he punches them to the ground
some Officers following John shoot the Monsters in the face
while they are stunned.

Jack pushes girls through kitchen. Jack does make his way to
a van parked in the rear of mansion. John pursues. Zeka trys
to follow. John Has to kill tony then jack. Its a hard fight
but John comes out victorious. Reynolds is bitten in the


As the credits roll through, John is running at high speed
through the woods. (music is playing)


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
From Jeff Helton Date 4/18/2008 **
Your action and dialouge lines are way too long in spots. Too many black lines will detour most readers to a quick end. Try doing about 4 lines of action then the same with dialouge. Once you spacing is right, you'll probably pick up at least another 4 pages I'm betting. Good story though.

From Roy Gonzales Date 4/14/2008 ***
I like the idea. At first I wasn't sure if this was about Torri Reyonlds or about John Thunder. I would work on the first ten pages again. All of us are trying to hook the reader within the first ten pages. I didn't really get into the story till page 21. Everything else was great, it has strong characters, and a good story, you should expand on it more. Good luck.

Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2024, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com