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Delight! (Short) (Revised)
by Chris Grilli

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
Dark Comedy Short


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
A tall apartment complex. A MAN dressed in a suit crosses
the street and enters the building.
                                                            
 
INT. APARTMENT ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
The door opens, letting in the only source of light. The man
flicks the light switch; his face revealed. He is young,
well groomed, dark hair slicked back. He closes the door
behind him. He begins to whistle a tune as he removes his
suit jacket and hangs it on a coat rack beside the door.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
The man reaches into the freezer and pulls out a long shank
of plastic wrapped meat. Closing the freezer door, he tucks
the meat under his arm and opens the fridge door. He pulls
out an assortment of ingredients. He joyfully kicks the door
shut behind him and begins whistling again. The kitchen is
large, containing a variety of individually purchased items.
                                                            
CUT TO
                                                            
A cutting board. The man chops and dices several
ingredients: green pepper, red pepper, onions, potatoes,
herbs. He tosses them into a roasting pot.
The temperature on an oven display reads 350 degrees.
He carefully places the covered pot in the oven.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
The man walks up to a wall mounted stereo. His finger
presses the CD button, followed by the Repeat button. He
turns away and crashes onto a rich leather couch, taking his
laptop off the coffee table and onto his lap.

Tina Turner's "Simply the Best" blares in the background.

The man smiles as he opens up his laptop. The screen shines
bright. A dating site pops up. The cursor moves over to a
small box that reads: Hello hot_woman_eater27, someone wants
to date you! He clicks the box.

A message page comes up. He has messages from two members of
the site. One username reads: sweet_girl4u, the other,
sportsfreak77. He clicks on the latter. The full message
appears on the screen. The camera focuses in on a line that
reads: I hope it doesn't bother you that I'm a little toned,

2.

if not muscular.

The man's eyes quickly glow with desire.

INSERT: The words Toned, Muscular in the Websters dictionary
flashing repeatedly.

He feverishly clicks the reply button and begins to type.
                                                            
 
INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
The man sits on the opposite end of a perfectly set table
for one. A large decorative bowl lies in the center of the
table, blocking the view of his entire midsection. A framed
poster of the 1993 movie "Alive" hangs on the wall behind
him. He places his hands on either side of the table,
picking up his fork and knife. He stops as he is about to
place them in his dish, and replaces them back onto the
table.

He lights a candle to the left of him. Placing his palms
together and closing his eyes tightly, he begins to pray
mouthing words throughout.

He stops, opens his eyes and smiles. He lets out a deep,
joyful sigh of anticipation as he once again picks up his
fork and knife. He cuts away and places a small piece of
meat in his mouth, and shooting his eyes up to the ceiling,
munches away with such delight.

An overhead view of the dish. Deliciously roasted potatoes
and vegetables surrounding a perfectly cooked, tender
looking...HUMAN ARM!
                                                            
The camera switches back to the other end of the table, only
to find the man already looking back into it. He chews
obnoxiously with a smile, and winks.
                                                            


THE END


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From Kevin Mitchell Date 8/20/2008 ***1/2
I liked it but when you got to the end it should have read... HUMAN ARM. (capitals). I don't know if it's because I am a bit twisted in general but for some reason I got the hint after he chopped the food and went online to the dating site I knew in my mind he was "cooking somebody". The no dialogue suited this story. Very visual and a nice 2 second read, lol.

From Paul Date 7/21/2008 ****
I actually enjoyed reading this screenplay. What I like about it is that one person could propably shoot this and be successful with it. Great Job!

From Josh Echevarria Date 6/26/2008 ****
I really enjoyed this. I love dark humor and this was really great. The fact that there was no dialogue didn't hurt this script at all. It works well. I agree with david chase, remove the camera directions. There are other ways to help us see what you want us to see without saying the camera does this and does that. Besides that, I really liked it. Great job.

From David Chase Date 6/21/2008 ***1/2
This was pretty morbid, and I love it. I think the fact that there was no dialogue actually works for this story. The ending was a good surprise, it's just too bad that there isn't a category "Dark Comedy" or "Horror Comedy", as I don't think calling it a comedy does it justice. I would recommend eliminating camera directions, or keeping them to a bare minimum. Good job.


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