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by Jamie Barnett (trixuan32246@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review: ***1/2
One man searches for his brother's killer, only to get caught up in the cross fire of a drug war between two Triad gangs; when he tries to protect a girl.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



Two bright lights FLASH from a car that has just entered in.
The vehicle quickly pulls towards the back and stops. A
young man JACK HUNTS, white, 23, gets out.
      (looks around)
Damn... where you at Pedro?
He gazes at his watch, it shows 9:45 P.M.
I said half an hour you dumb ass!
He pulls out a cigarette from his jacket and lights it up.
After a few drags he hears another car pull in.
About freaking time.
The vehicle drives right next to him. Jack heads towards his
trunk. He opens it and pulls out a metal suitcase.
Payday baby!
Two young SPANISH MEN exit the other car. One is wearing
shades and gold jewelry all around his neck.
                       SPANISH MAN
Hey wzzup papi chulo?
He reaches out and shakes Jack's hand. A quick hug from
Always late Pedro!
PEDRO turns towards his other friend with a smile.
Hey you remember that crazy ass
white boy Jack I was telling you


The man smiles back at Pedro.
This my uncle Pete's cousin Viper.
He thinks he's really popular with
the ladies but I'm gonna show em
how it's really done... eh papi.
They all laugh together.
So what's up homes? What's it
going to be tonight? Whatcha got
huh? Show me!
Jack holds his suitcase out and pops it open. Inside several
small bags of white powder show. Pedro takes his glasses off
Holy! Now that's what I'm talking
about Viper!
Pedro does a quick little Latin dance.
Girls going to love us tonight
Jack closes it and puts it on the hood.
      (lights a
Show me the money.
      (on Viper)
Show em homes.
VIPER reaches in his coat and pulls out a small bag of cash.
      (counts it)
So what club you guys hitting up
No response, he finishes counting.


Hey wait a minute... this isn't
even half of what we discussed.
Where's the rest of it?
Right here!
Pedro hands him another small bag. Jack opens it to find
nothing in there.
What the... there's nothing in
A dark sinister look from them.
That's cause you ain't getting it
We are.
Yeah-yeah! Pedro come on quit
jerking me around, I got places to
go now!
So do we... the first is called
your place.
Pedro quickly pulls out a gun and aims it at his head.
Hey what the hell is this man? I
know you're not trying to dick me!
Pedro glances at Viper.
That's what I love about these
white boys, they'll believe
anything a woman tells them.
Viper laughs. Pedro suddenly aims at Jack's kneecap.


The blast sends him hurling to the ground grabbing his knee.
It's going to be alright homes!
You still got one left!
Jack holds onto his knee screaming.
      (on Viper)
Hey homes show em how you got your
Viper opens up the trunk of their car and pulls out a tank
of gasoline. He quickly pours it all over Jack's vehicle and
then walks over to Pedro.
      (grabs tank)
It's been fun bro.
(pours on him)
Try not to wake up all the
neighbors huh.
Jack still holding his knee desperately tries to wipe the
gas from his eyes.
What... what is this?
First class ticket to hell.
(pulls out lighter)
Later homes!
He lights and then drops it.
      (trying to move)


A man EXITS the building. BARRY HUNTS, 29, white, takes a
quick look around.

Today is the first time he's seen anything outside of his
cell walls in three years.

Across the street in a car sit two MEN watching. DECTECTIVE
PETE BAKER, 42, and LARRY SHRODDER, 37. They've just been
assigned to this case.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Here he comes now Pete.
Barry walks down the street carrying his bag. Pete behind
the wheel starts the car up.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
You sure you want to do this? How
do we know he'll go along with it?
                       DETECTIVE PETE
He'll go for it. Anyone wiling to
take the rap that long for his
brother wouldn't pass it up.
The car pulls over to the side of the road just in front of
Barry. The two men get out.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
Barry Hunts!
Barry slowly stops.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
      (show badges)
Detective Pete Baker and Larry
Shrodder! Homicide and narcotics
division! I was wondering if we
could have a few words with you?
Both detectives are seated at the table. There in front sits
Barry, tears run endlessly down his face. He's just been
told his greatest fear.


                       DETECTIVE PETE
Mr. Hunts I know this is a
difficult time for you right now
and believe me when I say we have
every intention of finding your
brother's killer.
Barry leans over and buries his face in his hands. The pain
is too much. A grievous WAIL now follows.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Barry we're going to do everything
in our power to nail those
bastards but we're going to need
your help.
(grabs package)
These are the men we believe were
involved in it.
He pulls out picture and places it in front of him.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Raphael Gonzalez and Antonio
Perez. They go by the street names
Pedro and Viper. We've been
tracking them for some time now.
We know they were two of your
brother's contacts when he wanted
to get rid of his shipment of
Barry now sits up, he takes a look at the picture.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
But they're not the men we're
after! This is the man right here.
He walks over and hands him another picture.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
His name is Li Sung Kang!
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
You ever heard of the Triads Mr.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
14 K Triads to be exact! This
crime syndicate dates early all
the way back to ancient China. Mr.
Li here is the leader of a sect
that has shown up here recently


                       DETECTIVE PETE (cont'd)
over the past few years.
Barry glances at the picture. LI SUNG KANG, 50's is
surrounded by several bodyguards exiting a building.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
None of our agents have been able
to get close enough to find
anything on him.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
That's were you in come in! We've
managed to convince the judge to
let you out early on probation for
good behavior. We want you to go
under cover for us.
Barry slowly looks up at them.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Mr. Hunts we all know you took the
rap for your brother's charges.
What we're offering you is a
chance to settle the score by
finding your brother's killers and
helping us put away one of the
most dangerous men in the city.
Larry pulls out some news articles and tosses them on the
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Look at this, These men are
involved in everything! Their
activities include drug
trafficking, contract murder,
money laundering, gambling,
prostitution, car theft,
extortion, and the list goes on!
Barry gazes at a few of the articles showing multiple
murders and money laundering.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
Barry this could be a fresh start
for you. No past criminal record,
a clean slate. A chance to start
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
See we're going to let you walk
out of here on a leash.


                       DETECTIVE PETE
A very thin leash! You'll be
giving a new identity and
relocated to another city once we
have our man in custody.
A brief moment of silence. Barry stares at both of them.
Will my record really be gone?
                       DETECTIVE PETE
I guarantee it.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
By the way, we think your brother
may have been involved with this
He points on the cover of a magazine. A beautiful young
CHINESE LADY posses for the press at the grand opening of
her art museum.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Her name is Li Xiao Wan. She's the
daughter of Mr. Li. We believe the
museum might be another front for
one of his drug operations. We
need you to get close enough to
her to find out.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
So what do you say Mr. Hunts?
You'll help us out right?
A moment of silence.
Give me a day to think it over.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Sure... take all the time you
Where's my brother's body?
                       DETECTIVE PETE
It's at the cemetery, they buried
him last Friday.


                       DETECTIVE LARRY
Would you like us to give you a
No... thank you. I'd rather walk.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
Here's my card. We'll keep in
Barry takes it and quietly exits the room.
                       DETECTIVE LARRY
You sure about him Pete? We're
putting ourself out on a limb for
him and he doesn't seem all there.
                       DETECTIVE PETE
Yeah... I know.
A few graves slowly race by.
                       BARRY (OS)
Remember when you struck out at
your baseball game in the eleventh
(a beat)
Mom always told you not to try so
hard to follow after my footsteps.
You never did listened to her.
Before us now stands Barry. He gazes down at his brother's
picture on the grave.
You always tried to be better than
me in everything I did.
(a beat)
I remember the time dad helped me
rebuild my car engine. You kept
begging him the next day to show
you how to do it until he finally
gave in.
You were always being such a pain.
Life was good to us though back
when dad was still alive.


Tears SWELL UP in his eyes.
That day I told you I made so much
money selling that stash of weed.
I never should've lied to you that
day. I saw the look of excitement
in your eyes when you saw how
happy I was.
The tears now fall.
You always had to compete with me.
(a beat)
When I told you I quit selling
drugs and was getting married you
should've just copied me.
He kneels on the ground.
I went to prison for you. You
promised me you'd stop. Now look
at what's happened. You meant the
world to me... I gave up my life
for you!
Barry tightly grabs a hold of the picture.
Jack... God... what am I going to
do now? Say something... why don't
you answer me?
A cool breeze blows throughout the cemetery. After a while
Barry stands up and wipes the last of his tears.
The large city bus drives off. Behind it Barry and a few
others prepare to cross the street.
Front door opens and in walks Barry with the LANDLORD. The
man removes a yellow piece of police tape.


Here you go sir. The cops told me
not to let anyone in but since
you're his brother.
Thank you.
You're welcome. Just let me know
if there is anything else I can
I will.
The landlord quietly leaves. Alone now Barry slowly walks
around the room staring.

Dozens of baseball posters hang on the wall. He stops at the
dresser next to the bed. On it a family portrait.

A picture taken at Jack's graduation. Both parents happily
kiss Jack's cheek.

You can see in Barry's eyes each memory coming back to life.
He runs his finger down the glass frame.

The answering machine FLASHES a full message box next to it.
Barry presses start. A long BEEP before it begins.
                       ANSWERING MACHINE (V/O)
You have sixty unheard messages!
First voice message...
Barry sits in front of the computer.
                       MAN (V/O)
Jack! Hey it's Gene man, how's it
going? Sorry I'm just now getting
back with you...
Barry faces the monitor, he turns it on. A password request
                       GENE (V/O)
... got your message about the job
promotion. Congratulations you
deserved it. Where you been hiding
these past few days? Call me back
Answering machine BEEPS.


                       MAN (V/O)
Mr. Hunts this is Alex Mitchell
returning your call from First
National Bank. I was calling to
let you know your new account has
been set up. Please give me a call
back at your earliest convenience,
thank you.
Barry stares at the password request. Another BEEP.
                       FEMALE (V/O)
Jack it's me... Xiao Wan.
A quick turn from Barry.
                       XIAO WAN (V/O)
Why haven't you returned my calls?
(a beat)
If you're there please answer the
(a beat)
Jack I'm sorry for what my father
said to you. Please try to
understand, this is not an easy
thing for him to accept. Jack
please... don't shut me out like
this... I love you.
The next message plays. Barry strolls over to the window. He
peeps outside to witness two BOYS playfully tackling.

The younger one laughs with joy as he now gets the advantage
over his older brother.
      (under his breath)
A five year old HEIDI shrieks with laughter as her mother
LYNDA, 28, squirts her with bubbles from a gun.
No mommy... stop it!
Her mother really lets her have it now.


Oh no you don't Heidi! You're not
getting away this time!
Heidi screams as she runs around the furniture trying to
escape. Her mother chases right after her.
I'm going to get you back now
She fearlessly turns around and fires back with her gun.
Both of them yell as they happily soak each other.

Kitchen phone RINGS. Lynda stops to catch her breath from
all the excitement.
OK-OK... let mommy get the phone
(she does)
                       BARRY (V/O)
Lynda... it's me.
She covers up the phone with both hands. Heidi runs up and
grabs hold to one of her legs.
Mommy is that daddy?
Heidi dear go in the other room
and draw a pretty picture for
mommy OK.
OK! I'm going to draw a pretty
picture of daddy.
Heidi joyfully skips into the living room.
What do you want? I thought I told
you don't call us anymore, I don't
want to have anything to do with


                       BARRY (V/O)
Was that Heidi? God she sounds all
grown up now.
I told you we're finished, it's
over between us.
                       BARRY (V/O)
Lynda listen I jus--
No! I don't want to listen to you
anymore! You already made your
decision when you left us!
                       BARRY (V/O)
Jack is... Jack is dead Lynda.
                       BARRY (V/O)
They killed him, he's dead.
What? No... how? What are you
                       BARRY (V/O)
He was murdered a month ago. Lynda
they burned him... they burned him
God no!
A moment of silence. Linda's eyes TEAR UP.
                       BARRY (V/O)
When I found out I didn't know
what to do. I was so scared Lynda.
(a beat)
The detectives got me out of
prison. They said they want to
help me find who did this.


                       BARRY (V/O)
They told me if I help them I
wouldn't have a record anymore.
I'd be able to come home and see
you again.
No! I don't want you anywhere near
our family anymore! It's your
fault... it's all your fault he's
                       BARRY (V/O)
You should've never taken up for
him. You should've just let him
gone to prison! Maybe he'd still
be alive!
                       BARRY (V/O)
Lynda please don't say that.
You always choose him over us!
Even now. What if something
happens to you? What about your
daughter? Have you thought about
Heidi? She hasn't seen you in
three years. What if she has no
                       BARRY (V/O)
Lynda you know I love Heidi.
Shut up! I hate you! You always
choose him. Don't ever call us
again. Do you hear me? Don't ever
call again!
                       BARRY (V/O)
Please Lyn--

She hangs up. With a torn heart she cries.


Barry slowly hangs up. He wipes away the tears.
A large speed boat races past a few ships headed towards the

SUPER: Hong Kong, China

The beautiful moon echoes over the boat. A breath taking
Three Chinese MEN at the helm. One of them is on his cell.

[In Cantonese English subtitles]
                       MAN #1
Right! We're almost there! Yes!
See you in an hour!
He places the phone in his coat and then taps the other guy.
The other man acknowledges. He exits towards the back.

There alone by the edge stands another man. LI MAO SHEN, mid
30's. He gazes off into the night.
                       MAN #2
Mr. Li everything is set. We'll be
arriving within the hour.
                       MAO SHEN
Very good. Did they bring the
                       MAN #2
Yes sir.
A luxurious silver BMW car pulls into the warehouse. Off in
the distance three black limos are parked.


Several MEN stand holding guns as they wait outside of their
The same man that relayed the message to Mao Shen is
driving. As they approach he turns towards him.
                       MAN #2
Mr. Li I checked out the new men
as you requested.
                       MAO SHEN
Good Wong. What did you find?
Lets just say the last three
didn't come from Shanghai like
they said.
                       MAO SHEN
I'll take care of it.
The BMW stops. They quickly exit and are greeted by the
other men there.
                       MAO SHEN
Bring the girl out!
One man pulls out a young GIRL about fifteen, from the car.
She is scared out of her mind and is crying.

He pushes her to the ground in front of Mao Shen. A sick
look from WONG as he catches a glimpse of her legs.

Mao Shen notices it. He takes out his cellphone and quickly
dials a number.
Several KIDS splash in the pool. Behind them a group of
GUARDS watch over them.


An older Chinese MAN relaxes in his chair while two
beautiful maids massage his body. He picks up the phone now


                       OLDER MAN
      (on kids)
                       MAO SHEN (V/O)
Enjoying your weekend in Florida
Mr. Fung?
MR. FUNG sits up slightly.
                       MR. FUNG
Yes... who is this?
                       MAO SHEN (V/O)
The kids playing in the pool in
the hot sun and besides you...
your two favorite whores.
A bit concern he glances at them. Both girls smile back
while they massage his legs.
                       MR. FUNG
Who is this? How do you know me?
                       MAO SHEN (V/O)
I wonder if your wife of twenty
five years knows about your other
Mr. Fung jumps up suddenly. It startles the girls.
                       MR. FUNG
Li Mao Shen!
                       MAO SHEN (V/O)
I meant what I said about the
                       MR. FUNG
You're as greedy as your father!
INTERCUT WITH -- Mao Shen walking next to the girl.
                       MAO SHEN
What can I say Mr. Fung... my men
are hungry! I'm hungry. Inflation
is on the rise, gas prices have
gone up. It takes money to run
this kind of business.
(dark smile)
And after all we're all in it for
the money... right Mr. Fung?


He looks down at the girl. Terror grips her eyes.
                       MR. FUNG (V/O)
You can forget it! I'll never pay!
                       MAO SHEN
Then perhaps you ought to explain
this to your daughter.
He shoves the phone to her mouth.
                       MR. FUNG (V/O)
Ying Zhao!
Mao Shen quickly yanks it away.
                       MAO SHEN
You used our ships to deliver your
shipment of cocaine on the side
and now you don't want to pay?
                       MR. FUNG (V/O)
You piece of maggot shit! Do you
think you can blackmail with my
                       MAO SHEN
The thought of what we might do to
your daughter.
                       MR. FUNG (V/O)
You think you can run all of
China! Do you think she's my only
daughter! Don't start a war with
me Mao Shen... I promise you'll
never finish it.
Mr. Fung hangs up.
                       MAO SHEN
      (to himself)
Let's see.
Mao Shen faces his men.
                       MAO SHEN
The Triads existence is based on
He strolls past Wong and stops in front of a man.


                       MAO SHEN
Security that has kept this
organization strong for centuries!
(on man)
We can't afford to jeopardize any
of our efforts by being discovered
by two Hong Kong agents now can
we... Ren?
Mao Shen pulls his gun out. He reveals the undercover cops
by slowly pointing his gun at them.
                       MAO SHEN
      (hands Ren gun)
But you'll take care of it for
me... wont you?
Ren's look at them says it all. The men know it's over. For
a split second Ren hesitates then aims.

BLAM!! -- BLAM!!

Two quick shots to their heads. A disturbing SCREAM from
Ying Zhao as they fall dead.

Ren hands back over the gun. A slight grin from Mao Shen. He
leans in closely to Ren's ear.
                       MAO SHEN
I hope this gets the message

A shot in the stomach. Ren falls dead too. Mao Shen quickly
rushes towards his car.
                       MAO SHEN
      (gets in)
Dispose of the bodies! I have
other business to attend to in the
Car starts. Wong looks at Ying Zhao covering her face in
What about the girl? What did her
father say?


                       MAO SHEN
Explain it to her.
Car window rolls up. He drives off. Wong's face beams with
A hectic scene. Dozens of employees run amongst themselves.
They work tirelessly on preparing a demo room in the back.

Above it hangs a sign that reads "BEIJING ART EXHIBITION."
LI XIAO WAN, emerges from out of the crowd.
                       XIAO WAN
      (on cell)
Right! That's right! Also make
sure all the local newspapers get
an invite to the event this
In a haste she dashes towards the elevator. She is quickly
joined by another lady. SHANICA BROWN, 37, black.
                       XIAO WAN
      (on her)
Yes... uh huh! Fox News will be
covering it live. OK... gotta run
now... bye!
Shanica presses the level two button.
                       XIAO WAN
Hey Shanica. What do you have?
Hey! The catering will arrive in
the morning at eight, so they can
start on time. Ms. Brenda in
maintenance said one of her
electricians just quit and...
She pulls out a paper full of notes.
... ah yes the security contract
from ADT needs to be signed by
Elevator door OPENS. They get in.


                       XIAO WAN
What else?
The lawn service you paid for
Monday hasn't shown up yet.
                       XIAO WAN
What about the other lawn company?
We could use them but I don't
think they're legal.
                       XIAO WAN
Who cares.
Roofing company needs to inspect
the final work on the exhibition
room. Have you even decided on
what dress you're going to wear?
The store called a hundred times
already! It's going to cost
another fourteen thousand for the
surprise birthday flowers for your
A slight pain suddenly hits Xiao Wan's chest.
                       XIAO WAN
She holds onto her chest.
Are you alright?
                       XIAO WAN
Yes... I'm fine.
Maybe we should hold off on all
the excitement with your bad
Door now OPENS. Xiao Wan exits alone.
      (on her)
Twenty four and already so
stressed out. Why don't you take
this Sunday off and come to church


                       SHANICA (cont'd)
with me to find God?
                       XIAO WAN
I have my own God already Nica.
You know that!
Yeah... who?
Xiao Wan spins around.
                       XIAO WAN
      (big smile)
A lavishly decorated room. The walls all around boast of
Xiao Wan's prestigious accolades.

She now walks in holding a stack of papers. A quick visit to
her desk to drop them off.
                       XIAO WAN
Lets see. Hmm... what's next?
Piles up all the mail before she sits.
                       MAO SHEN (O/S)
How about a hello to your brother?
She looks over. There sitting on the couch is Mao Shen. A
loving smile now grips her face.
                       XIAO WAN
      (in Mandarin)
You dog fart!
                       MAO SHEN
Is that anyway to talk to your
older brother?
She heads over to him. They hug.
                       XIAO WAN
Why didn't you tell me you were
coming? I would've sent a ride for
you! When did you arrive?


                       MAO SHEN
My flight landed yesterday. I
didn't want to trouble you.
                       XIAO WAN
There you go again acting like a
stranger to me. How are you doing?
                       MAO SHEN
Let me have a quick look at you.
He backs up a bit.
                       MAO SHEN
You're getting more and more
beautiful every year Xiao Wan.
                       XIAO WAN
Stop it.
                       MAO SHEN
It's true. How have you been?
                       XIAO WAN
Having a ton of stress trying to
run this new business!
She sits down on the couch.
                       MAO SHEN
Still killing yourself to please
father huh?
He sits next to her.
                       XIAO WAN
I just wish I knew how to make him
happy. He doesn't seem to smile
anymore these days.
                       MAO SHEN
He's happiest when you're smiling.
                       XIAO WAN
I know. How are things in Hong
Kong going for you?
                       MAO SHEN
Things have never been better.


                       XIAO WAN
Then come shopping with me today.
You can help me pick out a dress.
                       MAO SHEN
I don't know... you take forever.
                       XIAO WAN
Oh come on!
She playfully tugs his arm.
                       XIAO WAN
You haven't seen me in six months.
I'll take you to lunch my treat!
                       MAO SHEN
Alright! Long as it's not Italian.
A knock on the front door by Barry.
                       MAN (O/S)
Be right there! One second!
Door slowly opens. Barry offers a smile.
Hey Gene! How you doing man?
Behind the door stands GENE, 32, white.
Barry? What the hell? When did you
get out?
Gene steals a quick hug.
How you doing? Come on in man!

Both of them sit at the table. Barry takes a long sip of his
coffee. Gene stares with such sympathy.
I'm sorry to hear about Jack.
(a beat)
This must be tough for you. I know


                       GENE (cont'd)
how close you two were.
Never imagined this could've
happen you know.
(on Gene)
For a long time all I could think
of is how I let my wife and kid
You did what you felt was best.
Not many people could've done that
for him.
How are things? How's Kelly and
the kids?
Gene adds more sugar to Barry's cup.
Things have been going pretty
smoothly lately. Kelly took
Brandon to Shelly's special
Olympics competition over the
That's good.
Yeah. You know for a long time I
blamed myself for the way she was
(a beat)
I use to hate God for allowing my
daughter to have suffer like that.
Now looking back on it, I realize
this has been the biggest blessing
in disguise.
Gene pulls out his cell. He flips it open.
Take a look at this. She's placed
2nd in all of her races.
On the screen SHELLY crosses the finish line in her
wheelchair. A heart warming smile from Barry.


Kelly called yesterday all
ecstatic! I don't think there's a
father more prouder then me right
(on Barry)
Your family is all you have in
this life.
(a beat)
I know Lynda deep, down inside
still loves you very much Barry.
A reassuring smile from Gene. Barry's face shines.
Anytime. So tell me where you
staying at?
I haven't found a place yet.
Why don't you stay here a few
days? Get settled in.
No, I couldn't ask that of you.
Sure you can! It's no problem at
all! Besides Kelly and the kids
would love to see you.
Here let me show you your room.
Gene leads him down the hall.
Same old Gene huh? Never taking no
for an answer.
Hey you know me man! Come on!
Four TRIADS sit in a car parked on the corner. They each
COCK a machine gun. Dragon tatoos cover their bodies.


Driver with blonde hair points to a crowd walking. In the
midst Mao Shen and Xiao Wan.


Xiao Wan happily wraps her arms around her brothers. While
carrying her bags he jokingly lifts them up to show her.
                       MAO SHEN
See... you take forever!
A chuckle from them.
The driver starts the car, tires PEEL OUT. It races along
side of the strip.

Triads lean out the window, take aim then, OPEN FIRE.
Explosions of debris as bullets TEAR THROUGH everything.

Mao Shen quickly pushes Xiao Wan to the ground.
                       MAO SHEN
Get down! Get down!
She SCREAMS in horror. Mao Shen bravely shields her. The
Triads show no mercy as they SPRAY everyone.

The crowd YELLS running for cover. It's total chaos. A few
bodies fall as they catch it.

Mao Shen peeps up. The car is halfway down the block. Rage
engulfs him. He now chases after it.

In hot pursuit he FIRES BACK. Too late, their car zips
around the corner.
                       MAO SHEN
      (lowers gun)
Stops to catch his breath. He leans over a little. After a
moment he straightens back up.

The aftermath is horrible. Cries for help all around. A
small crowd hovers over a young boy's dead body.

Blood flows out of him like a river. The image is too
disturbing for some people. They look away.


Mao Shen turns his head slightly as he passes. Up ahead Xiao
Wan struggles to breath on the ground.
                       MAO SHEN
      (on her)
Xiao Wan!
He runs to her aid.
                       MAO SHEN
Xiao Wan! Hang on!
Her body CONVULSES. Reaching her now he grabs her. Xiao
Wan's facial color has changed.
                       MAO SHEN
No... don't do this to me! Xiao
Wan breath! Come on, you can do
She looks up in anguish. Fear is written on her face. She
wants to cry but can't.

Suddenly her eyes ROLL BACK. She CONVULSES EVEN HARDER then
goes unconscious.
                       MAO SHEN
N-o-o-o! Xiao Wan!
Mao Shen brings her body closer to his. He holds her
Hospital doors CRASH OPEN. Several doctors work intensely on
Xiao Wan, trying to get her conscious.

They swiftly push her on the roller, down the hall. Doors
SWING BACK. Behind it Mao Shen stands watching.

As the last sight of her disappears, he turns and walks
away. Mao Shen pulls his cell out and dials. A long beat.
                       MAO SHEN
Wong! Get on the next plane here!
Yeah... there's work to be done.


Wong's naked back shows. He turns around slowly, revealing a
few fresh scratches. A serious look from him.
Right... OK. We'll be right there!
He hangs up and quietly grabs his shirt off the bed. A faint
sound of someone crying below him. Wong buttons up his

He glances down with a cold stare. There on the ground
huddled in a ball, covered with just her T-shirt is Ying

Tears run like a fountain down her blackened and bruised
Get dressed. You got a plane to
She holds tightly onto her shirt sobbing. She reluctantly
moves after a moment revealing the blood stain on it.

You know she's been violated. She stands up. Her body
shutters in fear at what's been done.
Ying Zhao cries as she slowly sits washes herself. Something
catches her eye. She glances down at her feet.

A small trail of blood runs down the drain from her body.
She watches in unbelief, not understanding it's meaning.
Gene relaxing on the sofa watches TV. Barry in the kitchen
waits for the popcorn in the microwave to finish.

Program is suddenly interrupted by a live news report.
Scenes of the mall shooting flood the screen. Barry strolls
in now.


Alright, what's the name of this
movie we're going to watch?
He hands Gene a soda before flopping on the couch. News
report goes into more depth.

Actual footage caught on camera shows. They both watch as
the car races by firing guns. Explosions go off everywhere.
What happened? What's going on?
Some sort of shooting at the mall.
*** SORRY WORK IN PROGRESS *** 1-10-09 Completed version
coming soon.


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From Zachary Conan Bednar Date 7/30/2008 ***
Great! I absolutely loved the monologue Barry gets.

From David Chase Date 7/22/2008 ***1/2
So far, this is a really good setup, and that's a key indicator, leaving the reader wanting to read more. Good character development and dialogue. I'd maybe cut down on the dialogue descriptions, as some of them may not really be necessary. There are also some instances of dialogue running long, but it's mostly tight where it needs to be. And try to avoid saying Beat, there are more interesting ways to achieve a break than that. Clean up spelling and grammar in the rewrite, and get this finished, because I want to see where it's going.

From Jason Whitmore Date 7/22/2008 ****
All I can say is that this one right here is it! Great story, great dialogue, great plot, great character develpment. This should be made into a movie. Can't wait to finish reading the rest of it when you are finished. PLEASE GIVE US MORE!

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