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The Greenhouse
by Andrew Garza (garza3raj@sbcglobal.net)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
A stoner falls for a girl that wants him to quit smoking weed. He must decide between two loves.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



THE GREENHOUSE

FADE IN:

INT. THE TYPICAL MORNING - DAY
                                                            
MITCH's stoner alarm clock RINGS
                                                            
It looks to be a typical day in the Dallas/Fort Worth
metroplex.
Mitch slowly wakes up and turns it off then gets out of bed
and stretches.
He slowly walks to the bathroom and looks at himself in the
mirror.
He looks pretty bad, and still he walks off and heads
downstairs.
                                                            
DOWNSTAIRS
                                                            
Mitch's house is a downright mess filled with weed smoking
devices and stuff lying on the floor. Everything is a mess.
ADDISON, JOHNNY and CARDER sitting on the couch smoking weed
out of a bong.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Mitch! It's about fucking time
dude. Get your ass over here and
hit this.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (rubbing eyes)
Who the fuck let you guys in?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You left the front door open.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Again?
                                                            
Sits down on the couch and takes a hit from the bong.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You should probably stop your
midnight toking man, because when
I walked in here there was a deer
sitting down watch Good Morning
America.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Bullshit...What the fuck is up
with C-Mac?
                                                            

2.

Carder just sitting there with a very blank stare.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
He's still high.
                                                            
                       MITCH
How many days straight is that
now?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I don't know. I lost count. Hey
fag! What day are you on?
                                                            
                       CARDER
I am on...
                                                            
Starts counting on his fingers but gives up.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I think it's ,like, 30 or
something.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
So, what are your plans for the
day Mitch?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Shit. Get high...again. Go get
more food...Take "Alice in
Wonderland" back to
Blockbuster...and get high again.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Okay, you say you're going to take
"Alice in Wonderland" back
everyday. It's like a year overdue
man. Why don't you just keep it?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
And I know they haven't told you
anything.
                                                            
                       MITCH
That's true.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
But, in the meantime, I did steal
some "Cheez-It's" from my little
brothers room.
                                                            
Brings out a box of "Cheez-It's"
                                                            

3.

                       JOHNNY
"Cheez-It" up bitches!
                                                            
Throws the box on the table.
                                                            
                       MITCH
The ultimate stoner food. You
know, one of these days I'm going
to make a "Cheez-It" flavored weed
and call it "CheezWeed". It'll be
the next big thing.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (pointing back
       toward greenhouse)
Why don't you? I mean, that
greenhouse isn't there for show.
That house is the real fucking
deal. I get high just fucking
walking in there.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You are absolutely right. But to
be honest, I don't think I can
hide that shit forever.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
What the fuck Mitch? Are you
saying you want to tear it down?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
      (after a bong hit)
Please God! No!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, we can get all the shit out
of there into the house. So that
way the greenhouse will be clean.
I don't know, maybe I'm just
getting paranoid and I'm honestly
amazed that we're still getting
away with it.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (mocking Mitch)
Yes. You're a paranoid little
bitch. You fucking pussy. "I'm
scared guys and I don't to get in
trouble".Grow a fucking pair of
nuts man! That greenhouse is the
key to the future. It is the
fucking stoner revolution. It is
the stoner wonderland. Every
stoner dreams of owning and
            (MORE)

4.

                       ADDISON (cont'd)
operating a greenhouse like we do.
We took time from getting high to
build that shit and now you want
to break all of our fucking balls
and suck the laws dick.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (getting up)
Fine. It stays up. Damn dude are
you going to have a fucking heart
attack now?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (out of breath)
Yes I am. I am losing my fucking
mind!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, well fuck you.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Fuck you!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Calm down and hit the bong
already. Shit.
                                                            
Addison takes a hit from the bong and hands it to Johnny.
                                                            
KITCHEN
                                                            
Mitch looking for food. Opens the refrigerator and cabinets,
but finds nothing.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck! Nothing!
                                                            
Mitch starts walking outside.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
Walks toward the greenhouse. He unlocks it and walks in.
He breathes in the aroma and looks around with a smile on
his face.
                                                            
IN GREENHOUSE
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (looking around)
Where the fuck did I leave it. OH!
There it is.
                                                            

5.

He picks up a box of "Nutri-Grain Bars" and walks outside.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
      (sitting on back
       porch)
Good morning, Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (locking up)
Good morning Mr. Brewer.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
How are thing going?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Everything is good. I'm just doing
the usual shit, you know?
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
Still ain't found a lady?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Unfortunately, No. I am trying
though.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
You gotta get on some pussy,
Mitch. You set aside too much time
to get high and you never go after
any pussy.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (chuckles)
I know. I know. So how is Barbara
doing?
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
The Bitch? Oh, she's just fine.
I've just been sitting out here
waiting for her to finish cooking
me my damn bacon and eggs.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
Well, good luck with that.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
So when are you going to get
yourself a job man?
                                                            

6.

                       MITCH
Shit. I don't know. I sent in an
application to Benny's Bookstore
and I got an interview at 12
o'clock on the the 15th.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
      (looking at watch)
I hate to break it to you, but
today is the 15th. You better get
your ass to that interview.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh fuck! Thanks, Mr. Brewer! Good
talking to you, but I have got to
go!
                                                            
Mitch runs off.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
Fucking stoners.
                                                            
INSIDE
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (hurrily)
Fuck! Where are my fucking shoes?!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Why are you freaking out? Did you
see a spider or something?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No, I have an job interview in 15
minutes.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Oh shit. Well, you lost your shoes
when we went paint balling,
remember?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (pointing at
       Johnny's feet)
Fuck! Let me wear your sandals!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Sandals with a suit? You're going
to look like a fucking retard.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I don't care just give me your
fucking sandals!
                                                            

7.

Johnny takes sandals off and hands them to Mitch. Mitch puts
the sandals on and runs out.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE INTERVIEW - DAY
                                                            
Mitch is driving and then his brother COLE calls.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (answering phone)
What up?
                                                            
                       COLE
Bro, what you up to?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Nothing, I'm rushing to this job
interview down at Benny's
bookstore. What's up?
                                                            
                       COLE
The usual. I just left this one
chicks house and she was a freak
dude. How many chicks have you met
that actually like you to shit on
their chest?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Holy shit.
                                                            
                       COLE
I know right? And I did it bro, I
fucking did it.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You are a fucking psycho. She had
to have been ,like, British or
something right? I don't know
maybe European because those
chicks are always freaky.
                                                            
                       COLE
I didn't really get around to
asking for her background
information.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, you were probably too busy
staring at her tits.
                                                            

8.

                       COLE
      (laughing)
Damn straight bro. So, hey, what
are you doing tonight man?
                                                            
                       MITCH
What I always do, smoke. Why?
                                                            
                       COLE
Well, I'm going to head to the new
club downtown.
                                                            
                       MITCH
The gay one?
                                                            
                       COLE
No. City Streets.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh yah, I heard about that one.
                                                            
                       COLE
Cool. So do you wanna go?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Can I bring the guys?
                                                            
                       COLE
Of course you can.
                                                            
                       MITCH
How are the chicks there?
                                                            
                       COLE
I hear it is the best spot for
some of the finest pussy in town.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well that's reasonable.
                                                            
                       COLE
And man you gotta get yourself
some pussy tonight. I'm tired of
seeing you alone man. You can't
just smoke weed every day and
think it's not going to hurt you
in the long run. But you gotta get
in the game man. Maybe you'll find
the right girl and have an actual
relationship.
                                                            

9.

                       MITCH
That's the only thing I'm afraid
of...commitment.
                                                            
                       COLE
Everyone is afraid of that man.
they may not admit to it, but we
all are afraid of the word
commitment.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I got you bro.
                                                            
                       COLE
So are you down?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah count us in. Well I'm pulling
into the parking lot. I'll call
you later.
                                                            
                       COLE
Alright man good luck.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
I'm not getting my hopes too high.
                                                            
Mitch pulls into a parking space.
                                                            
                       COLE
Alright. Later.
                                                            
Mitch hangs up and get out of his car.
                                                            
IN AN OFFICE
                                                            
You see Mitch's sandals and the camera works it way up.
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
      (looking at
       Mitch's resume')
So do you have any relation with
the store?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, I do read a lot. I get the
majority of my books from here.
So, yah, I guess you could say
that.
                                                            

10.

                       INTERVIEWER
Well, have you worked anywhere
previously?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (hesitantly)
Well, actually this is the first
time I'm actually trying to start
a life. I kind of need some money
too
                                                            
Mitch gives a slight chuckle.
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
      (chuckling)
Don't we all.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
That is true.
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
Well, we need employees and I'm
cool with hiring you because I
know how you feel. You're just
starting out. This would be good
for you. I've been where you are
before.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (shocked)
Well, I appreciate that.
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
We'll give you a call sometime
this week and we should look
forward to having you come and
work with us.
                                                            
The interviewer offers for a handshake and Mitch shakes his
hand.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Thank you so much.
                                                            
 
INT. THE CLUB - NIGHT
                                                            
OUTSIDE OF THE CLUB
                                                            
Mitch, Addison, Cole, Johnny and Carder waiting in line to
enter the club.
They see many attractive girls.
                                                            

11.

                       ADDISON
      (angry)
How long are we going to have to
fucking wait out here?
                                                            
                       MITCH
This club better be worth it.
                                                            
                       COLE
It is guys, trust me. I mean, just
look at the girls and figure it
out for yourselves.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Half of these girls don't even
look legal.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I know. This better not be one of
those teen clubs that serve only
salad and fruit punch.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
This better not be one of those
clubs with those fat-ass bouncers
walking around shining flashlights
in your face, and prohibiting you
from dancing dirty.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Why because you'll be dancing with
men? Dirty?
                                                            
Addison punches Johnny on the arm.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
      (rubbing arm)
Fuck that hurt!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Calm the fuck down. Your going to
scare off the girls. You see, this
is why I hate club openings. You
never know if it's going to suck
balls or if it's garunteed to get
you laid.
                                                            
                       COLE
They should put that garuntee
under the billboard on the
highway.
                                                            

12.

                       JOHNNY
      (skeptical)
Okay, it's not like they can
garuntee you'll get laid. That's
up to the girl and yourself. Think
before you fucking speak!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
They could spike every chick's
drink with shit. That would surely
go in every guys favor.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm sure the girls would catch on
by the time they wake up and see
some fat naked guy drooling all
over her. Then she would tell her
girlfriends who, in turn, would
tell all of her friends. So on and
so forth.
                                                            
                       COLE
It's a never ending chain of bad
critique.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Yah you're right. Hey Carder! You
sure are talking up a fucking
storm over there.
                                                            
Everyone looks at Carder then Carder starts laughing.
                                                            
                       COLE
He still doing that stupid dare?
                                                            
                       CARDER
      (in a high pitch)
Yeah.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I never thought it was possible
but he's been high for 30 days
straight.
                                                            
                       COLE
I'm not going to the funeral.
                                                            
Two attractive girls (RACHEL and SARAH) walking towards the
club entrance.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
      (pointing)
Holy shit! Check that out.
                                                            

13.

                       COLE
      (amazed)
Oh fuck!
                                                            
Mitch stares hard at Rachel. Rachel looks straight at Mitch
and walks into the club.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Damn dude, that is what you call a
rare delicacy from Vagistan.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I want to get myself a piece of
that. Damn! I think she looked at
me.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Shut up dickhole. You know that's
too out of your league.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Same for you Professor Munchie.
                                                            
Johnny punches Addison in the stomache.
                                                            
IN THE CLUB
                                                            
Club music is playing and girls are dancing everywhere.
                                                            
Rachel sitting on the side of the bar.
Sarah comes from the dance floor and sits down with Rachel.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Any luck?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Nope. Every guy in here does not
look interested at all.
                                                            
Sarah looks around and sees Mitch staring over at them.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (pointing at Mitch)
What about that guy?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Which guy?
                                                            
                       SARAH
The one fucking staring at you.
                                                            

14.

                       RACHEL
      (looking at Mitch)
Well, they kind of all are.
                                                            
Mitch sitting on the opposite side of the bar drinking beer
with the guys.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (hiding under his
       hand)
Shit. Shit. She's looking over
here.
                                                            
                       COLE
Hey, at least she noticed.
                                                            
Rachel and Sarah still talking about it.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
The one in the hoodie?
                                                            
                       SARAH
That's the one. He looks pretty
interested. He's cute too.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well he better come talk to me if
he is.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Don't get your hopes to high. He
looks like a pussy anyway.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughing)
Why is that?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Guys come to clubs to drink and
get with chicks. All girls know
that most guys have no fucking
clue what they are doing. So they
sit at the bar and drink. The so
called PLAYERS are the ones
actually trying to dance with us.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (getting up)
Well I guess there's only one way
to find out. Come on.
                                                            
Rachel and Sarah get up to go dance.
                                                            

15.

                       COLE
      (getting up)
She's going to the dance floor.
Let's beat the crowd.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (hesitantly
       getting up)
Shit.
                                                            
                       COLE
You gotta stop holding back,
Mitch. Let's go get us some poon
man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Are you asking me to be your
wingman?
                                                            
                       COLE
I am asking you to be my wingman.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Alright, let's go.
                                                            
Mitch and Cole head off to the dance floor.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (yelling)
Don't pussy out!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
He's going to pussy out.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I know.
                                                            
DANCE FLOOR
                                                            
Rachel and Sarah dancing.
                                                            
Mitch and Cole standing not too far off.
                                                            
                       COLE
You have to make the first move.
It's the rule.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I know man, but I just can't do
it. She's too hot for me.
                                                            

16.

                       COLE
Now that is the worst attitude
I've ever seen you have. That's
the point of coming to clubs...to
learn how to deal with rejection.
Just get over there and dance for
Christ's sake.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck it.
                                                            
Mitch makes his way to Rachel and stars to dance with her.
Sarah then looks at Cole and walks over to him.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Hey hot stuff.
                                                            
                       COLE
What's up?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Can you dance?
                                                            
                       COLE
Let's find out.
                                                            
Cole takes her hand and starts dancing with her.
Mitch continues to dance with Rachel.
This goes on for a while until the song stops.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You're a good dancer.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Thank you. You are too.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I'm Rachel.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Mitch.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Nice to meet you, Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Can I buy you a drink or
something?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Of course.
                                                            

17.

AT A TABLE
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel sitting and drinking a couple of beers.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
So yeah, my best friend Sarah
always drags me to these clubs,
because she apparently thinks I'm
LONELY.
                                                            
                       MITCH
No shit. My friends always tell me
that I'm lonely. Especially my
brother...
                                                            
Camera shows Cole and Sarah making out.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Who seems to be getting
along...splendidly with your
friend. Well, that's Cole for you.
If you look up the definition of
MANWHORE in the dictionary, you
will see his picture. I think they
have it on wikepedia too, but I
dont know.
                                                            
Rachel takes a drink and laughs.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
It's funny too because I always
have this shitty time at clubs,
but I am actually enjoying myself
for once.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (chuckling)
I guess I have that affect on
women.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughs)
Oh, so somebody is a cocky one
huh?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Actually, to be honest, I have no
self confidence at all. Which is
funny, because here I am, talking
to the prettiest girl I have ever
laid eyes on.
                                                            
Rachel blushes and takes a drink.
                                                            

18.

                       MITCH
So, what do you do for a living?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I work at a bridal store called
"White Wedding".
                                                            
Mitch laughs at the facts that the name of her store is the
same as a Billy Idol song called "White Wedding".
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
I get it.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
What do you do?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (shamefully)
I...ummm...My days are usually
pretty laid back and I just chill
with my friends and watch TV and
shit.
                                                            
MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
A brief flash of Mitch taking a hit from a bong and
immediately getting slapped across the head by Addison. They
all start laughing hysterically. The flash then ends.
                                                            
BACK TO THE TABLE
                                                            
                       MITCH
Nothing too big on my part.
                                                            
Mitch takes a drink.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
No job?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Actually, I think I just got hired
at Benny's.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
The bookstore?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, do you go there often?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yes actually, I do. I read a lot
of books.
                                                            

19.

                       MITCH
I'm quite the reader myself. I'm
reading this book called "Choke".
It's pretty fucked up. Have you
seen or read "Fight Club"?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Of course!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, it's the same author. It's a
great book.
                                                            
IN A LOUNGE AT THE CLUB
                                                            
Addison and Johnny sitting down with two chicks and drinking
beer. Everyone just silently sitting there.
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
      (looking at Carder)
What's wrong with him?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
He's just really high.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
30 days straight.
                                                            
                       CHICK 2
Can't you die from that?
                                                            
                       CARDER
      (somewhat offended)
No...
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Actually, you can't. It's a
scientifically proven fact.
                                                            
                       CHICK 2
      (somewhat put off)
Okay...
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Do you guys want to head back to
our place?
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
      (lying to get out)
Ummm. I think we have plans
tomorrow.
                                                            

20.

                       CHICK 2
What's tomorrow?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Sunday.
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
      (lying)
We have church in the morning.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (in disbelief)
Fuck off.
                                                            
                       CHICK 2
      (put off by
       Addison's
       rudeness)
We sing in the choir.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I didn't think they allowed sluts
to sing in the choir.
                                                            
DANCEFLOOR
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel dancing. The song stops. Both are clearly
drunk.
                                                            
                       MITCH
So do you want to head back to my
place?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
That sounds like fun.
                                                            
They both exit the dance floor. While walking out they pass
by Cole and Sarah who are making out. Rachel stops to talk
to Sarah.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (yelling)
Sarah! I'm going home with this
guy,
                                                            
Sarah stops making out with Cole and turns around.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Okay. Well, we were going to head
to his place so it's all good.
I'll call you tomorrow.
                                                            
Rachel starts heading towards the exit with Mitch.
                                                            

21.

                       RACHEL
Let's get out of here.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Wait! Wait! I have to take my
friends home...
                                                            
He looks around for the guys but can't find any of them.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You know what? Fuck it. Let's go.
                                                            
They head out of the club to Mitch's house.
                                                            
OUTSIDE OF MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel start making out on their way to the
doorway. They stumble onto the door and continue making out.
                                                            
MITCH'S BEDROOM
                                                            
They throw themselves onto Mitch's bed and continue making
out. They then start taking off their clothes. Mitch grabs a
condom and puts it on. Soon enough, they begin to have sex.
                                                            
                                         FADE OUT
                                                            
 
INT. THE MORNING AFTER - DAY
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel laying in bed.
Rachel wakes up and looks over to Mitch who is sleeping on
his stomache. She looks at the clock which shows 10:30 and
she has to be at work at 1:00. She then tries to wake him
up.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Mitch.
                                                            
He doesn't answer so she pats him on the back and tries
again.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Mitch. Wake up. Mitch!
                                                            
Mitch slowly wakes up and turns around.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (getting out of
       bed)
I've got to get to work. I'm
            (MORE)

22.

                       RACHEL (cont'd)
leaving you my number on your
dresser.
                                                            
She finds a pen and paper and begins to write her telephone
number down.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, how are you going to get
there?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Fuck. Shit! I didn't even think
about that.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'll take you to your house. Maybe
we can stop and get breakfast. Do
you have time?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yah. I have time. That sounds
good.
                                                            
Mitch sits up on his bed.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Cool. Let me jump in the shower
real quick and then we'll head
out.
                                                            
DOWNSTAIRS
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel are ready to go so Mitch opens the front
door and after he opens the door he sees Addison, Johnny and
Carder walking towards the entrance.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (pissed)
What the fuck dude?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (not enthused to
       see them)
Shit. Hey...guys.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Thanks for fucking ditching us
last night.
                                                            
Johnny sees Rachel and drops his jaw.
                                                            

23.

                       JOHNNY
      (suprised)
Oh shit.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Guys, this is Rachel. Rachel, this
is Johnny, Addison and Carder.
                                                            
                       CARDER
      (unknowingly)
What?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Hi.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel walking to Mitch's car.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Just go in guys, I'll be back in a
bit.
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel get into Mitch's car and take off.
                                                            
IN MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch's friends are still suprised at what they saw.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I can't believe he actually got
laid. Fuck!
                                                            
Carder picks up a bong in the background.
                                                            
                       CARDER
      (holding up the
       bong)
Guys? Let's do this thing.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Give me that shit.
                                                            
Addison taps a bowl and takes a hit from the bong.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
God I love weed.
                                                            
IN MITCH'S CAR
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well, thanks for a great time last
night.
                                                            

24.

                       MITCH
No problem. That's what I'm good
for.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Okay and I know you're thinking
it, but yes, I do get drunk that
easily.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
You drank so little it made me
feel like a damn alcoholic.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughing)
Sorry.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Eh, don't worry about it.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
So you just let your friends walk
in and stay at your house?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah. They're such moochers.
Sometimes I feel like they take
advantage of me.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughing)
They do seem like the MOOCHING
type.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughing)
That they do...So tell me more
about yourself. Do you have any
brothers or sisters?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well, it's kind of a sad story. I
don't really like talking about
it. No offense.
                                                            
                       MITCH
No, it's cool. But just to let you
know, I am cool and I have some
shit that I dont like to talk
about. I'm just saying, you know,
you could tell me if you wanted
to.
                                                            

25.

                       RACHEL
      (hesitantly)
Okay. Well, me and my brother were
very close. And uh, he didn't
really make the right choices in
life. He thought he could be some
big musician so he chased that
dream. And, you know, he became a
failure because he started getting
into drugs. He smoked weed
constantly and that's what I think
might have fucked him over.
                                                            
Mitch begins to get uncomfortable.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
He never was the same after that.
He stopped talking to me and we
lost that bond. All the smoking
weed got to him and he became a
bum who didn't give a fuck about
his life anymore. I saw it in him
too. Every time he visisted he
always was depressed in some way.
Then it all just crashed when his
girlfriend dumped him. He uh....he
shot himself.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Holy shit. Are you like...alright
now?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yah, I've gotten over it. It was
about ten years ago. So that's why
I'm totally against weed and
drugs. It really gets you
nowhere...
                                                            
Mitch is somewhat offended but at the same time very shocked
at Rachel's story and he doesn't know what to say.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You seem uncomfortable. Do you do
drugs or what?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No. I'm clean. I tried it once in
high school and I haven't done it
since.
                                                            

26.

                       RACHEL
      (relieved)
Cool. That's good.
                                                            
 
INT. SERIOUS DOUBTS - DAY
                                                            
MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch who just finished explaining the situation to the
guys. And they don't like it one bit.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (angrily)
Fuck her then!
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (in a reconciled
       manner)
Dude, her fucking brother
committed fucking suicide.
Shouldn't you be a little sad?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I like weed...I like weed so damn
much that I would name my son
Weed.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Or you could name your daughter
Mary Jane.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Yah, but that's a common name. How
many parents do you think have
named their daughter after weed?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
A lot...especially during the 60's
and 70's. If you didn't smoke weed
back then you were either mentally
retarded or arrogant bastards.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Guys, I'm not quitting. I'm just
saying we have got to clean this
house up. It looks like somehow a
tornado formed in the midst of our
own house.
                                                            

27.

                       ADDISON
Just hide the bongs and pipes and
just hope she doesn't snoop
around.
                                                            
                       MITCH
What you guys need to do is never
say anything about the greenhouse
or the bountiful harvest it
bestows upon us.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Well speaking of heaven...what do
you say we take a trip down to the
golden gates?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (pointing at
       Addison)
Now that sounds like a great idea.
                                                            
 
INT. A LITTLE WEED-VENTURE - DAY
                                                            
IN THE GREENHOUSE
                                                            
Mitch looking for the perfect plant to cut up. He starts
moving stuff around. The guys are eagerly waiting in the
background. Mitch finally comes across the bud he thinks is
ready to be smoked.
                                                            
                       MITCH
This one looks good.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Just roll that shit up.
                                                            
You see Mitch cutting up the weed and "cleaning" it up. You
then see Addison start rolling some joints while GIN AND
JUICE by SNOOP DOGGY DOGG starts playing.
You then begin to see a montage of great stoner moments.
You see the guys sitting around watching PINK FLOYD'S THE
WALL.
You see them dancing one moment, and then you see them
wrestling the next. Addison blows smokes rings. Once again
you see them trip out to PINK FLOYD'S THE WALL. Johnny
starts to pour Cheez-Its into his mouth. You see Carder and
Johnny wrestling again, and Carder holds Johnny down for the
count. Carder jumps up in a fit of joy.
                                                            

28.

                       CARDER
      (looking down at
       Johnny)
Who's the king?! Who's the king?!
                                                            
You see Mitch smoking weed out of a long Indian pipe.
Everyone is dancing until Carder decides to steal the show
and bust some crazy dance moves.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Bust it C-Mac!
                                                            
Addison takes a hit from a bong, scoots over and takes a hit
from a pipe and then scoots over to take a hit from a
hookah. He coughs a lot and rolls on the ground. You then
see everyone tossing gushers across the room into each
others mouthes. The montage ends with everyone passed out.
Mitch is passed on the couch. Addison is passed out on a
recliner. Johnny is passed out on the table. Carder is
passed out on the floor with his arms and legs spread out.
                                                            
 
INT. COLE DROPS BY - DAY
                                                            
THE NEXT DAY
                                                            
Mitch still passed out and it's almost 4 o'clock. The guys
have already left. Mitch's phone RINGS. It RINGS for a while
until Mitch finally gets to it.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (tired)
Hello?
                                                            
                       COLE
Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey what's up?
                                                            
                       COLE
I'll be at your house in ,like, 15
seconds.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Why so early?
                                                            
                       COLE
Dude, it's almost 4 o'clock.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Holy fucking shit! No way.
                                                            

29.

                       COLE
Did you just wake up?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No.
                                                            
                       COLE
Well, wakey wakey cause I am here.
                                                            
IN MITCH'S BEDROOM
                                                            
Cole looking through Mitch's closet while Mitch just sits on
his bed.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I don't see why you can't just
wear your own fucking clothes.
                                                            
                       COLE
I wear my shit too much. I need to
vary my style, like with this polo
shit you wear.
                                                            
Holding up a black polo t-shirt. He starts to put it on.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I never wear polos. Grandma always
buys them for me for Christmas.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (modeling the polo
       with his collar
       popped)
How does this look?
                                                            
                       MITCH
You look like fuckin' Dracula.
                                                            
                       COLE
So...don't pop the collar?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (mimicing Dracula)
Unless you want to ZUCK MY BLOD!
                                                            
                       COLE
I guess you're right.
                                                            
He puts his collar down.
                                                            

30.

                       MITCH
Seriously man you ain't fuckin'
Prince. You can't pull that shit
off.
                                                            
                       COLE
Suck my balls...So how are things
going with that Rachel chick?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Actually really good.
Uh...just...she doesn't
like...weed.
                                                            
                       COLE
What?
                                                            
                       MITCH
She blames her brothers death on
it. But it can't kill you and it
doesn't drive you insane.
                                                            
                       COLE
Just don't tell her you do it
24/7. Maybe this is a good reason
to quit.
                                                            
Mitch stares at Cole like he was stupid.
                                                            
                       COLE
What? Just saying man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (getting up)
Whatever...So did you fuck Sarah
sideways and in the ass?
                                                            
                       COLE
No. Not sideways.
                                                            
Mitch and Cole start walking downstairs.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (sniffs)
It smells like you have marijuana
scented candles lit in here.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, I know. I've got to take care
of that.
                                                            

31.

                       COLE
      (pointing out
       outfit)
Is this how you're going?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (confused)
Going where?
                                                            
                       COLE
I did tell you we're doubling
right?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Who said?
                                                            
                       COLE
Sarah and Rachel said.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (upset)
Shit. I can't afford to pay for
her fucking meal.
                                                            
                       COLE
I got it man. Don't worry.
                                                            
 
INT. DOUBLE DATE - NIGHT
                                                            
Mitch, Rachel, Cole and Sarah are dining at a well kept
restaurant. They guys are drinking an import beer and the
girls are drinking wine.
                                                            
                       COLE
Okay, I know this is a cliche'
question to ask. How long have you
gals known each other?
                                                            
                       MITCH
When you say it that way it sounds
very cliche'.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Umm, what? Since , like, 9th
grade?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yup. The start of high school.
                                                            

32.

                       RACHEL
      (interested)
And you two are twin brother or
what because you look a lot alike.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (looking at Cole)
People say that all the time but I
honestly do not see the
resemblance.
                                                            
                       COLE
I think it's the eyes or some shit
that only females can tell.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (asking Mitch)
So ,Mitch, you have a house?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yes I do. It's paid off so I don't
have to worry about house payments
and shit. Which really helps me
out in financial terms.
                                                            
Mitch sees BRENT walking toward table and he tries to hide.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (disappointed)
Fuck.
                                                            
Brent is an attractive fellow and he used to be friends with
Mitch. He is still bitter about not hanging out anymore.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
What? What is it?
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (shocked)
Mitch Sandberg? Is that you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (while coughing)
Fuck off!

Hey...Brent.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Mitch you son of a bitch. I
haven't seen you in like a 8
months.
                                                            

33.

                       MITCH
      (sarcastically)
Wow, what a shame.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (looking at Rachel)
Looks like you got yourself a lady
friend.
                                                            
Mitch is silent.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Well...aren't you going to
introduce me man? Come on.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (unenthused)
Brent this is Rachel and Sarah.
Rachel...Sarah...Brent.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (politely)
Nice to meet you Brent.
                                                            
Rachel and Brent shakes hands.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Brent, can i talk to you over here
for a second?
                                                            
                       BRENT
Sure bro.
                                                            
Mitch takes Brent away from the table to talk.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (pissed)
Mitch, where have you been? I've
been calling you and you never
pick up. Bitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Look here man. Maybe it's because
I don't want to fucking hang out
with you. I got shit going on
right now and if I don't answer
any one of the fucking twenty
calls a day you make to me, get
the fucking hint! I don't want to
to chill. I don't answer my
fucking phone because I don't want
to fucking explain to you why I
can't chill. Don't you have a
fucking life man? If you're that
            (MORE)

34.

                       MITCH (cont'd)
desperate to hang out with me,
then maybe you can consider
finding some other fucking
friends. Lay off you fucking
prick. Leave me the fuck alone.
                                                            
Brent is just standing there in disbelief about what he just
heard.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (shocked)
Wow Mitch. You really rehearsed
that didn't you. I thought we were
hombres man. This kind of hurts to
hear from you...but alright, I'll
let you get back to your...fine
piece of ass. You motherfucker.
Just call me when you want to
chill, whenever that may be.
                                                            
Brent gives Mitch the finger and walks away.
                                                            
Mitch walks back to the table and sighs.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Sorry.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Who was that?
                                                            
                       MITCH
you know the friend that you don't
really like hanging out with but
you still consider him a friend.
That would be Brent in my case.
                                                            
MITCH'S BEDROOM
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel having sex. Then you see them sleeping.
Mitch gets up and walks downstairs. He taps a bowl and
smokes out of a bong.
                                                            
 
INT. THE BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT
                                                            
TWO DAYS LATER
                                                            
You see Mitch and the guys bowling. The bowling alley is not
too crowded.
                                                            

35.

                       MITCH
Guys...I think I might have found
the right girl for me.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
What you need to do is slow the
fuck down. What are you thinking
dude? This wasn't meant to be. One
of these days she's going to see
that greenhouse and I guarantee
the old "It's a spice garden"
excuse wont work.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You're right. I need to tell her
before she finds out the hard way.
                                                            
Carder bowls a gutter ball. He walks back to his seat.
Addison gets up to bowl.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Or you could just get her high.
I'm sure, after she finds out what
all the hype is about, maybe she
wouldn't be so uptight about it.
                                                            
Addison knocks down 8 pins.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, but that's just wrong.
                                                            
Addison bowls a spare.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
All I can say is...You better not
stop smoking because of some
chick. Don't let a fucking chick
tell you how to live your life.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Guys come on. It's me we're
talking about here. The guy that
found enough weed lying around the
house to tap a bowl.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
That was bad-ass.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Yup...So how's the sex? Does she
fuck good? I want to know the
fucking dirty details.
                                                            

36.

                       JOHNNY
So you can go home and jack off by
imagining it was you.
                                                            
Johnny gets up to bowl.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Yah...pretty much.
                                                            
Johnny gets a strike.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, I must say that she fucks
pretty good. It was ,like, the
first time I've gotten laid in
about two years.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Wasn't the last chick you fucked,
named Mary Jane?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Ironically...Yes, she was.
                                                            
Mitch's phone RINGS.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh shit someone bowl for
me...Hello?
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
Mitch Sandberg?
                                                            
                       MITCH
That is me. Who's calling?
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
It's Gregory White, the manager of
Benny's Bookstore. I was calling
to see if you were still willing
to work with us?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yes. Yes I am. Do I have the job?
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER
Yes, you have the job. The only
thing is, it's going to seem
weird, but we need you to come in
tomorrow at 3.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I can do that.
                                                            

37.

                       INTERVIEWER
Well great. We'll see you tomorrow
Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Same to you, sir.
                                                            
Mitch hangs up the phone.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You get the job?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck yeah man. Now not all of my
money will come from drug deals.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I doubt you'll keep that job for
more than a week.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (laughs)
He's right. Stoners aren't meant
to work.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
The most work I've done in the
past month has been roll joints.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You're fucking bowling dipshit!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
But work is something you have to
do. I didn't have to bowl my last
turn, but I chose to. I have to
roll joints. It's not an option.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (sarcastically)
Well, I'm sorry i doubted you
master stoner.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
You are forgiven young one.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE NIGHT THE SHIT HIT THE FAN - NIGHT
                                                            
4 DAYS LATER
                                                            

38.

OUTSIDE MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch and Rachel walking to the front door. Mr. Brewer was
able to catch them before they got there.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
      (yells)
Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey Mr. Brewer. How's it going?
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
Everything is going great. Just
needed to escape the wife's
nagging. That stupid old bitch.
Who's the lady, Mitch?
                                                            
                       MITCH
This is my girlfriend Rachel.
Rachel this is my long-time
neighbor Mr. Brewer.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (waving)
Hello! Nice to meet you!
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
The pleasure is all mine. It just
warms my heart to see Mitch happy.
You seem like a nice young lady.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (smiling)
Thank you.
                                                            
Mrs. Brewer opens the front door and sees her husband.
                                                            
                       MRS. BREWER
James! Get your ass back in the
house. I've been yelling for ya
for the past 10 minutes!
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
I know old woman. That's why I
walked my ass outside! So I could
rest my damn head.
                                                            
                       MRS. BREWER
      (pissed)
You better get your old ass back
into this fucking house!
                                                            

39.

                       MR. BREWER
You're embarrassing me in front of
Mitch and his lady friend!
                                                            
Mrs. Brewer notices Mitch and Rachel.
                                                            
                       MRS. BREWER
Hello Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (waving)
Hi Mrs. Brewer.
                                                            
                       MRS. BREWER
Will you tell that old son of a
bitch that he needs to get in here
and takes his dirty dishes to the
sink!
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
      (walking back
       inside)
Well you two have fun. I've got to
go before she has a fucking heart
attack again.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Goodnight.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Goodnight Mr. Brewer. You behave
yourself.
                                                            
INSIDE
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughing)
They seem like a cute couple.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm surprised they've pulled
through this long...Well, make
yourself at home, and I'll be
right back.
                                                            
Mitch leaves the room. Rachel starts walking around and
looking at stuff. She sees stoner movies, herb scents and
empty plastic baggies.
                                                            
UPSTAIRS
                                                            
Mitch quickly hiding bongs, pipes and weed that he had
laying around.
                                                            

40.

DOWNSTAIRS
                                                            
Rachel makes her way toward the back and looks through the
sliding doors. She see the greenhouse and stares. Mitch runs
downs stares and sees her looking.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Sorry about that, I just had to
clean some stuff.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
It's cool...so what is that
outside? It looks like a
greenhouse.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (walking behind
       Rachel)
That? Oh, that's nothing. It used
to be my moms. She was
a....planter. Or whatever you call
it. It's nothing.
                                                            
Mitch puts his chin on her shoulder.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Why don't we go upstairs?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Alright.
                                                            
They start walking upstairs.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughs)
You sure do have weird taste in
movies. You watch "Alice In
Wonderland"?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck no. That's Cole's. Yeah, he
has a horrible addiction to kids
movies. It creeps me out.
                                                            
MITCH'S BEDROOM
                                                            
You see Mitch and Rachel having sex. Then you see them
laying down face to face.
                                                            

41.

                       MITCH
Rachel, I like you a lot. I've
never met a girl like you before.
I think I'm falling in love with
you.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well, I think I love you too
Mitch. I feel the same way. What
we have is great.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm so glad I met you. Finally
there's something in my life that
makes me happy. Finally, something
went right. I always blame God for
giving me a shitty life, but now I
don't think my life is as bad with
you.
                                                            
Rachel stares into his eyes and then they start to kiss.
You see both of them sleeping. Then all of the sudden Rachel
wakes up and slowly gets out of bed. She goes to the
restroom, comes out and hesitantly walks downstairs.
                                                            
DOWNSTAIRS
                                                            
She is slowly walking towards the back and she sneaks out
the sliding door. She almost looks ashamed at what she's
doing.
                                                            
UPSTAIRS
                                                            
Mitch wakes up and looks over to Rachel's side but doesn't
see her. He then look at the restroom and it is empty. So,
he automatically knows what is up. He gets up quickly out of
bed.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
                                                            
He walks quickly downstairs.
                                                            
DOWNSTAIRS
                                                            
He sees the sliding door open.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh shit.
                                                            

42.

IN GREENHOUSE
                                                            
Rachel angrily looking at all the weed and smoking devices.
You then see Mitch walk in, in the background and stop.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
What the fuck is this? Who's
fucking weed is this?
                                                            
Mitch is speechless.
                                                            
                       MITCH
First of all, who the fuck are you
snooping around my private shit.
If I wanted to show you what the
fuck was in here! I would have
fucking shown you!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
So...You've been getting high this
whole time?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I've been with you most of the
time.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
What did you wake up to do?
                                                            
Mitch is speechless.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
That's why you got out of bed
every fucking night! To come and
smoke weed. And you are a fucking
idiot if you think you weren't
going to get caught. It's a
fucking greenhouse for Christ's
sake. People get into a lot of
trouble doing this!
                                                            
                       MITCH
You don't think I fucking know
that! I had my ways of hiding it.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You lied to me!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel I-
                                                            

43.

                       RACHEL
      (cutting of Mitch)
You fucking lied to me!
                                                            
She throws a weed plant onto the ground and it breaks.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You could've told me you were a
fucking stoner, but instead, you
lied to my face.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (mad)
Well, you put me on the fucking
spot. It's not ,like, after I hear
the "Oh so sad" story of how your
brother somehow committed suicide
that I would fucking tell you.
"Yah...I smoke weed and I fucking
smoke it a lot".
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (starting to cry)
Your an asshole.
                                                            
Rachel starts to run off. Mitch grabs her arm.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I didn't want loose you.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (yelling)
Don't fucking touch me! Let go!
                                                            
She shakes his hand off of her arm and runs off.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel! I'll stop for good!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (disbelief)
You think I believe you? It's not
like you can just stop like that.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (walking after her)
I would for you. Rachel, I can
stop. Please believe me!
                                                            
Rachel stops walking away and turns around to look at Mitch.
You can easily see she is very heartbroken and upset.
                                                            

44.

                       RACHEL
If you can stop, I'll maybe think
about taking you back. But, I
wouldn't get your hopes up.
Especially with your goofy stoner
friends that mooch off of you, If
you can stop smoking weed. Then
call me, but you're going to have
to get rid of this greenhouse and
maybe think about getting some
better friends.
                                                            
She shuts the front door of the greenhouse. Mitch becomes
depressed and down.
                                                            
INSIDE MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
You will see Mitch throwing anything that has to do with
weed away. He puts his pipes, bongs and his hookah in a box.
You can tell that he does not enjoy himself doing this. He
almost lights a joint that he picked out of normality. He
throws himself on the couch and calls Cole.
                                                            
IN COLES BEDROOM
                                                            
Cole is laying in bed with Sarah. You then hear his phone
RING. He slowly finds it and answers.
                                                            
                       COLE
Hello?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Dude...she found out.
                                                            
                       COLE
How did this happen?
                                                            
                       MITCH
She fucking woke up to go see what
was in the greenhouse. And she got
mad at me for lying to her and
shit. I don't know man. She told
me she would take me back if I
stopped smoking, but I honestly do
not think I can.
                                                            
                       COLE
Well, I did and I'm doing
perfectly fine. It's not like you
get addicted to it or anything. I
know you can't be addicted to
marijuana.
                                                            

45.

                       MITCH
Yah, but you don't have lousy
stoner friends like I do.
                                                            
                       COLE
I mean, they're my friends too
man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I can't quit with them hanging
around me all of the time. They
are very cunning.
                                                            
                       COLE
That's when you cut the shit.
Start a life bro. Your twenty-two
years old and you've never had one
job. You need to start making
something of yourself.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I guess I do need to start getting
my shit in order.
                                                            
                       COLE
Exactly. And to do that, you're
going to have to stop smoking
weed.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (unenthused)
I'll try but I don't know I'm
going to tell the guys.
                                                            
 
INT. MITCH TELLS THE GUYS - DAY
                                                            
THE NEXT DAY
                                                            
Addison, Johnny and Carder at Addison's apartment. Addison
is playing "Sabatoge" by The Beastie Boys on "Guitar Hero
3". You see Carder in the back smoking two joints. Addison
is having a very difficult time keeping up on the game.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (yelling)
Fuck! Dude, it's too fast I can't
do this!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Maybe it's because you're playing
on Expert.
                                                            

46.

                       ADDISON
No. No. I'm just too high to play,
that's why bitch!
                                                            
He see Addison fail the song and immediately scratch his
face as if he had an itch.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (angry)
Fuck! My face itches ,like, once
or twice a day but when I play
Guitar Hero it itches ,like, every
fucking second. It's bullshit.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
You just suck dick at it man. Face
the facts when they are given to
you.
                                                            
Addison takes off the guitar controller and gives it too
Carder. Carder puts on the guitar and retries the song
Addison played. Addison sits on the couch and is now angry.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (yelling at Johnny)
Your such a wigger you
motherfucking fagget!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
      (yelling at
       Addison)
Cocksucker!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You cum-chugging bitch!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Your face resembles my asshole!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You fantasize of cocks in your
mouth!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
You suck dick on your spare time.
And that's a lot of spare time.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You can't get pussy so you put
your dick inside men's assholes.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
You secretly own gay porn.
                                                            

47.

                       ADDISON
I once saw you stare at my
package.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Bull shit! You just wish I did
fagget!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
If I was gay I sure as hell would
not get down with you!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
So...you're saying you would get
down with a guy?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
No. I'm saying you suck guys' dick
and use their cum for hair-gel to
keep your hair looking fag-tastic!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Actually, I use "Suave".
                                                            
                       ADDISON
That's the name of the last guy
you fucked.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Yah well, you still have a full
box of condoms. Still, sadly
unused.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
No, I just stole some from you.
You wouldn't realize because you
never use them yourself!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
You're gay for snooping around my
shit!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You're gay for even thinking that!
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Fuck you! At least I don't look at
porno scenes with guys in them!
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I looked in your closet and I
found a couple of cocks stashed
in the back.
                                                            

48.

                       JOHNNY
I bet you shoved them up your ass.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I bet you did first.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
I caught you looking up pictures
of Brad Pitt on "Google".
                                                            
                       ADDISON
So what if I needed a little
motivation to workout!
                                                            
You see Johnny hand motion masturbation.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
A little motivation, huh?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Fuck you! Your asshole is bigger
than Jupiter's "Big Red Spot".
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
That was a gay insult.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
It fits you well because it was
only gay enough for you.
                                                            
You see Carder finish playing the game. You can easily tell
he is annoyed with Addison and Johnny.
                                                            
                       CARDER
      (yelling)
Shut the fuck up! You both are
faggets with heads shaped like
dildos!
                                                            
They sit in awe as Carder sits down and takes a hit from a
bong.
                                                            
                       CARDER
I couldn't even hear the song. It
sounded like The Beastie Boys
featuring two Butt Buddies that
argue all of the fucking time!
                                                            
You see Carder score 5 stars on Guitar Hero.
                                                            

49.

                       ADDISON
      (amazed)
Wow, 5 stars? That's pretty
fucking good.
                                                            
                       CARDER
Holy shit, how did I do that? Oh
well...
                                                            
Carder yet again takes a hit from the bong. Then the
doorbell RINGS, and Addison gets up to answer it. Johnny
tries to trip him when he passes by.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Move fagget.
                                                            
Addison opens the front door and sees Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey
                                                            
                       ADDISON
It's Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
I need to talk.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Alright, but not too loud because
my neighbors will get pissed.
                                                            
Mitch just stares at Addison.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You're so fucking blazed.
                                                            
Mitch walks in and Addison shuts the door.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Not yet.
                                                            
They both take a seat.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (sighs)
She found out.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Good. Now you don't have too set
time aside for her and you can
smoke with us more now.
                                                            

50.

                       ADDISON
Quit what? You don't have a
drinking problem do you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
That's actually why I'm here. I
quit.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I quit smoking weed. No more.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (laughing)
Whoa. Wait...What the fuck?
                                                            
Addison thinks he sees a spider on Mitch's shirt and he
tries to wipe it off.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Where did the spider go. We can't
have that crawling-
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (interupting
       Addison)
Will you just listen!? I quit
smoking weed. NO MORE WEED.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Let me just ask you this one
question. Why do you have to be
such a pussy?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Let me guess. You quit to prove
that you deserve her, because you
still have a chance?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Exactly. This doesn't mean we
can't be friends.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (sarcastic)
You're not my friend anymore.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Okay, it's not like weed is the
bond between our friendship.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Well, it's at least fifty percent
of the bond.
                                                            

51.

                       MITCH
We can still party and go
clubbing.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
First, it's not a party unless you
have weed. Second, I highly doubt
you'll last a week.
                                                            
                       MITCH
How much do you want to bet?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Five hundred dollars.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You don't even have that much
money.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
That's how confident I am.
                                                            
Mitch gets up and starts walking towards the door.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You'll see! I can go a month.
                                                            
Mitch leaves the apartment.
                                                            
 
INT. DAY 3 WITHOUT WEED-HOCKEY GAME - NIGHT
                                                            
AT A HOCKEY GAME
                                                            
You see the Dallas Stars playing against the Colorado
Avalanche. You see one player clip another from the opposite
team. They start to fight and the referee breaks it up. The
crowd is mad at the referee. You then see Cole and Mitch
sitting down in their seats. Cole stands up.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (yelling)
Come on ref! Let them fucking
fight! That's why we all come to
hockey games!
                                                            
A mom looks at Cole with a dirty look.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (mouthing to the
       mom)
He's drunk.
                                                            

52.

Cole takes his seat.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Man, thanks for getting me out and
keeping my mind off of everything.
                                                            
                       COLE
No problem bro.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I was thinking...maybe if I do
this everyday it could be a whole
lot easier.
                                                            
                       COLE
What you need...is pussy. Play the
field. Right now, you're in the
dugout watching everyone play the
field. Get yourself some women
man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I can't man. I mean, I've fallen
for Rachel. So, right now no other
girl matters to me.
                                                            
There is an attractive brunette in tight jeans with her
thong showing. Cole points her out.
                                                            
                       COLE
What about that one? She looks
pretty good to me. You can't
fucking look me in the eyes and
say that you are not having dirty,
perverted thoughts about THAT.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well...
                                                            
                       COLE
Go spit some game man. If you
don't, I will.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (laughs)
What about Sarah?
                                                            
                       COLE
      (unknowing)
What about her?
                                                            

53.

                       MITCH
      (laughs)
She's a good catch, and you'll
just go cheat on her?
                                                            
                       COLE
Here's the history question of the
day. Has that ever stopped me?
                                                            
Mitch just nods his head in disapproval
                                                            
                       COLE
No, it hasn't. Go get her man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Dude, we're at a fucking hockey
game! Odds are is that a girl like
that is one of the players' girl.
And I've seen hockey players in
person. They look just as scary
without pads on.
                                                            
                       COLE
Okay, well, what if she isn't?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm not going to take a chance. I
might get my ass kicked.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (disappointed)
Whatever.
                                                            
The home team scores and everybody starts cheering. The
sirens are going off and it is noisy in the arena.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (clapping)
Yeah!!!
                                                            
The brunette (MEGAN) looks at Mitch. Mitch sees her looking
and waves. She waves back and smiles.
                                                            
                       COLE
Fuck yes they're kicking ass
today!
                                                            
The cheering dies down. MEGAN looks back at Mitch in a way
that appears very sexual. Mitch notices this and Cole does
as well.
                                                            

54.

                       COLE
Holy shit. She just sucked your
dicked with her mind. That, my
brother, is without question the
dirtiest look in a female's
arsenal. You know what to do.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (motivated)
You know what? Fuck it right? I
can do this.
                                                            
Mitch gets up and walks over to MEGAN.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Mind if i keep you company?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
No, not at all.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (sitting down)
I'm Mitch.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
I'm Megan.
                                                            
                       MITCH
So, Megan, what's a girl like you
doing at a hockey game by
yourself?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
My dad plays on the team.
                                                            
                       MITCH
No shit?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Yup, Number 24.
                                                            
Mitch looks for him and finds him on the ice rink.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I see him.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (biting her lep)
What brings you here?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Me and my brother love hockey so
he invited me to come.
                                                            

55.

                       MEGAN
Really? I hate hockey. I just come
to scope out the players, but it
turns out that I scoped out a
really hot fan.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (swallows)
Well, I used to play hockey back
in the day. So...
                                                            
                       MEGAN
What do you say we get out of here
and go to my car?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (in shock)
That sounds like ,uh, fun.
                                                            
They leave to go to Megan's car. Cole sees them leaving and
is in complete shock.
                                                            
                       COLE
What the fuck?
                                                            
IN MEGANS CAR
                                                            
Mitch and Megan in the backseat. Megan sits on Mitch's lap
and starts to make out with him. Megan takes her shirt off
and Mitch's as well. She unbuckles his pants and starts
rubbing his dick. She takes off her pants and they begin to
have sex.
                                                            
IN THE HOCKEY GAME
                                                            
Cole is sitting alone and wondering where Mitch has gone off
to.
                                                            
IN MEGANS CAR
                                                            
Mitch and Megan are now finished having sex. Mitch putting
his clothes back on. Megan pulls out a joint and starts
smoking.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
You wanna smoke?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No thanks. I'm good.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (laughing)
What? Come on.
                                                            

56.

                       MITCH
      (in a hurry)
I'll pass, but I'll call you
sometime.
                                                            
You can tell that Mitch wants to get the hell out of her
car. She begins playing with his hair and giggling.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (getting out)
Bye.
                                                            
IN THE HOCKEY GAME
                                                            
Mitch quickly walking back to his seat.
                                                            
                       COLE
What the fuck bro? What happened?
                                                            
Mitch, at the moment, is in shock about what had just
happened.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Um...right now I'm a little
nervous I might have a shit-load
of STD's, because that broad was a
"Grade A" slut!
                                                            
                       COLE
      (laughs)
What'd she do to you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh, I'll tell you what she
did...She did EVERYTHING! I barely
even knew her for five minutes!
                                                            
                       COLE
Oh shit! Do you want to get out of
here?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (sternly)
Please.
                                                            
Mitch and Cole leave the hockey game.
                                                            
 
INT. DAY 7 WITHOUT WEED-CLARITY COMES - DAY
                                                            

57.

MITCH'S LIVING ROOM
                                                            
Mitch digs into the box he put his weed smoking devices in.
He gets a bong out. You then see him just staring at the
bong and really wishing he could smoke it. He stares for a
good ten seconds and then his phone RINGS. He runs and
answers his phone.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Hey bitch, get your ass over to my
parents' house. They left to
Oklahoma and we have the house to
ourselves.
                                                            
                       MITCH
When do we ever not have a house
to ourselves?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
This is different. They have a 70"
plasma TV. You've seen it.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Did you want to game it up or
something?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Did you want to TOKE it up?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (sighs)
I'll go over dude, but I am not
smoking. I'll just pick up a six
pack or something.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Your such a pussy. Alright, I'll
see you in a bit.
                                                            
RACHEL'S APARTMENT
                                                            
Rachel and Sarah are eating breakfast.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Has he called?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
No, he's probably high right now.
                                                            

58.

                       SARAH
You think so?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
What nerve of him to just lie to
me. I should've known the whole
time. His house was weird and
smelled funky. Everything was
unorganized and he had no food
whatsoever.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (laughs)
The typical stoner pad. You don't
think you might have took it a
little too personal?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I wouldn't have if he would've
just told me the truth.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Rachel, it's not like he could
have just told you after you told
him the story about your brother.
That story could have brought
Hitler to tears. He might have
been a little hesitant don't you
think? I would have been.
                                                            
Rachel realizes she was a little too harsh.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Maybe I was to harsh.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Are you going to take him back?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I don't know. I really do like him
a lot. He has to prove he can
become clean.
                                                            
                       SARAH
How is he going to prove anything
to you if you don't take him back?
What did you do? Did you set spy
cameras in his house?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Your right. Maybe I should call
him.
                                                            

59.

                       SARAH
Maybe...
                                                            
ADDISON'S PARENT'S HOUSE
                                                            
The gang is sitting down smoking joints. They are playing
Call of Duty.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
You fucker!
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (talking to
       Addison)
How the fuck did you get so damn
good at this game?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
The question you should be asking
is why the fuck do you suck my
balls at it.
                                                            
Johnny smoking a joint and reading the newspaper, He sees a
headline about the band The Sword playing a concer at a
local venue.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Guys! Check this shit out, The
Sword is playing at Lola's
tonight.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Oh they fucking rock. What time is
at?
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Seven. We should go. Only ten
dollars a ticket.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I bet there's gonna be some
stoners there dude. Everyone is
going to be high cept' for Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck you! I'll just get shitfaced.
                                                            
Carder is spacing out.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Hey fagget! Are you down?
                                                            

60.

                       CARDER
ALL HAIL THE SWORD!!
                                                            
Carder plays air guitar.
                                                            
 
INT. THE CONCERT - NIGHT
                                                            
The Sword is playing the song "Freya". Everybody is
headbanging and moshing.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
Mitch is smoking a cigarette. His phone RINGS. He sees
Rachel's name on the caller ID.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Holy shit.
                                                            
He answers the phone.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hello?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Hey.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel, Hey! What-What's up?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Nothing. I've been needing to talk
to you.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Me too, it's good to finally hear
from you.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Look Mitch, I over-reacted about
the whole thing, I feel terrible
that I put you through that. I
know you like to get high and
that's your decision. But, I think
if we give this another shot then
maybe it'll work out better.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Your cool with me smoking weed
now?
                                                            

61.

                       RACHEL
You see that's the thing. I think
there is a lot of good in you and
that smoking weed is just going to
end up getting you in trouble. So
if your willing to maybe give
quitting a chance, then I think we
should see each other again. No
secrets this time though.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel, I quit for you. I haven't
done it since you found the
greenhouse that night. I promise
that I'm not that type of person
anymore.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
That's good Mitch. So do you want
to come over and talk?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah. Yah, that would be great.
I'll come over now if you want?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Okay then I'll see you in a bit.
                                                            
IN CONCERT
                                                            
Mitch finds Johnny who is headbanging with a joint in his
hand.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Johnny, I'm leaving.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Where to?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Nowhere. I'm just going to go.
I'll see you tomorrow or
something.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Whatever bro.
                                                            
OUTSIDE RACHEL'S APARTMENT.
                                                            
Mitch knocks on her door. She opens the door and smiles.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey.
                                                            

62.

                       RACHEL
Hey.
                                                            
They hug and begin to kiss.
                                                            
INSIDE
                                                            
They continue to make out. She pushes him on her couch and
continues to make out.
                                                            
                                         FADE OUT
                                                            
 
INT. WHY DOUBLE DATING SUCKS - DAY
                                                            
THE NEXT DAY
                                                            
Cole and Sarah eating lunch at a restuarant.
                                                            
                       COLE
So does Rachel ever talk about my
brother? Has she moved on? What's
the deal?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I guess Mitch didn't tell you, but
they slept together last night. So
I guess they're back together.
                                                            
                       COLE
It was you right? The best friend
came to the rescue?
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (smiling)
yah, I had a little something to
do with it.
                                                            
                       COLE
Well, thank you. That son of a
bitch was moping around like some
kid that didn't get what he asked
for on Christmas.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Did he really come clean?
                                                            
                       COLE
Yah, from what I know of, but that
might be half of the reason why
he's moping around.
                                                            

63.

                       SARAH
I feel bad for him though. I
sware. Rachel is like the 8th
wonder of the world. She's so
pretty. She has that ability to
get a guy depressed like that.
                                                            
                       COLE
I think that was something you
voted for in the high school
yearbook. You know? Most likely to
get a guy depressed over her.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Probably.
                                                            
                       COLE
No, but really, I hated seeing him
like that.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Well now I guess we can double
again right?
                                                            
                       COLE
Fuck no! I hate doubling.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Why?
                                                            
                       COLE
It's far over anybody's head.
Think about all of the things you
gotta do. In order to keep things
from being awkward, you have to
talk. But you can't say anything
stupid because then you'll have
three people staring at you like
you were an idiot. What if the
other couple keeps to themselves?
You don't want to disrupt them,
but at the same time they look
fucking clueless. So you start to
say shit, then meanwhile YOUR girl
needs attention so you can't
ignore her completely. So all in
all, it turns into shitty half-ass
conversation. It's awkward and
boring. It's kind of like visiting
cousins you don't know. You don't
know how to relate to them.
                                                            

64.

                       SARAH
Well, this is my best friend and
your fucking brother that we're
talking about here.
                                                            
                       COLE
Shit. I guess you're right. Fuck
it right? Let's double it up
sometime then.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You don't have to if you don't
want to.
                                                            
                       COLE
Well, I'm over my phobia as of
this moment. So now I kind of want
to.
                                                            
INSIDE A PHONE STORE
                                                            
Rachel walking around and browsing through phones. Brent
(who works at the store) sees Rachel and makes his way over
to her.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Hello?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Hi.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Can I help you find anything?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well, my phone keeps messing up,
and so I think it's about time I
get a new one.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Is there any particular phone that
you have in mind?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Whatever is the cool phone
now-a-days.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (laughs)
Hey, have we met somewhere before?
                                                            

65.

                       RACHEL
Um...I don't know, but you do look
familiar. Wait...Brandon. No.
Brent! It's Brent right? Mitch's
friend?
                                                            
                       BRENT
Well, I used to be his friend, but
yah that's me. It's Rachel right?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yes.
                                                            
                       BRENT
You still with Mitch?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well, yah kind of.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Kind of?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
We got in a fight a while back,
but we're going to slowly patch
things up.
                                                            
                       BRENT
That sucks. What happened? Did you
find out about the massive illegal
grow operation in his backyard?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You know about that?
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (laughs)
Of course. That's like his island
and he's Gilligan. I don't think
I've ever hung out with a sober
Mitch. That greenhouse probably
holds more weed than the fields in
Columbia.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yah, it was quite a bit. He told
me he quit. So...
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (laughs)
Oh whatever. I know Mitch. He
couldn't say no to weed if someone
had a gun pointing at his head
threatening to kill him if he took
            (MORE)

66.

                       BRENT (cont'd)
one more hit.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (shocked)
You don't say?
                                                            
                       BRENT
That's Mitch for you. It's such a
routine thing for him that he
probably rolls joints in his
sleep.
                                                            
 
EXT. WORK AND OTHER BUSINESS - DAY
                                                            
Mitch and Mr. Brewer are sitting on Mr. Brewer's porch
drinking a beer.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
So you guys are back together huh?
That's a fine young woman you got
on your hands.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, we got into a pointless
fight. It's no big deal really.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
Do you think she may be the one?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I've thought about it and I
honestly do think she is. I'm
saying this being a sober man too.
I think I finally am ready to
start getting my life in order.
She was like the reset button I
should say.
                                                            
Mr. Brewer lights up a cigar.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
So how's the job going?
                                                            
                       MITCH
It's going well. I actually should
get going. I've been late once and
if I show up late again you can
consider me unemployed again.
                                                            

67.

                       MR. BREWER
You do what you gotta do. I'm
always here man. It's actually a
bad thing, but the Mrs. has been
on the medication so she be
sleeping all day. I actually gotta
do my own laundry for the first
time since 'Nam.
                                                            
Mitch gives a slight chuckle
                                                            
                       MITCH
Alright, I'll see you later.
                                                            
                       MR. BREWER
Take it easy.
                                                            
PHONE STORE
                                                            
Rachel is walking to the register with a new phone in her
hand.
                                                            
                       BRENT
That's the phone everyone comes in
here to get. It's a good phone.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I guess I made the right choice.
                                                            
Brent grabs the phone and scans it.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Here, let me ring that up. And
don't tell anybody but I'll go
ahead and throw in a phone cover
for free. Believe it or not, those
phone covers cost way more than
you'd expect.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Well thanks, but you don't have
to.
                                                            
Brent in a flirtatious manner smiles at Rachel.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Well, I'm putting it in the bag.
So it looks like somebody just
PURCHASED a phone cover.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (smiling)
Thank you.
                                                            

68.

Rachel hands Brent her credit card and he swipes it and
hands it back. Rachel signs the verification pad.
                                                            
                       BRENT
And if you need any help with the
phone, I'll be here Monday through
Saturday every week.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Cool. So all I have to do is
switch the SIM card?
                                                            
                       BRENT
Nope. I did that for you. You are
good to go.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Alright.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Have a good one Rachel.
                                                            
She begins to walk off.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You too. It was nice to see you.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (waves)
Bye.
                                                            
OUTSIDE BENNY'S BOOKSTORE
                                                            
Mitch has just gotten out of work. He is walking to his car
when he sees NATE.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (suprised)
What the fuck? Nate?
                                                            
                       NATE
Addison told me you work here.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah. What do you want?
                                                            
                       NATE
      (sarcastically)
Let's see...I want some book
suggestions. What should I pour my
face into. No. I want some fucking
weed. Why the fuck would I come to
a bookstore?
                                                            

69.

                       MITCH
I do have a phone you know. You
could have called like a normal
person, instead of making this
drug deal a little more obvious.
Damn it. Just come to my house
jackass.
                                                            
INSIDE MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
                       MITCH
What do you want?
                                                            
                       NATE
I want some dirty fucking weed
dude. Maybe some chronic, pop,
kush or some fuckin' drough.
                                                            
                       MITCH
All of them?
                                                            
                       NATE
Yah. I want to smoke them at the
same time.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Do you know how fucking crazy that
is?
                                                            
                       NATE
Do you know how fucking crazy I
am?
                                                            
                       MITCH
How crazy?
                                                            
                       NATE
Crazy enough.
                                                            
                       MITCH
No shit. Well, let's see if I can
do that for ya. Shall we go to the
greenhouse?
                                                            
                       NATE
Certainly. It's always a pleasure.
                                                            
They start heading to the greenhouse
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
                       NATE
Hey man?
                                                            

70.

                       MITCH
      (opening
       greenhouse)
What?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Any chance you wanna sell the
whole fucking greenhouse to me?
                                                            
INSIDE THE GREENHOUSE
                                                            
                       MITCH
Are you fucking kidding? This
place is more valuable than your
life.
                                                            
Nate jumps on a coach.
                                                            
                       NATE
Can I just live in here?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Get the fuck up. And let's get
down to business.
                                                            
                       NATE
You want to smoke a little with
me?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Shit. No. Not today man.
                                                            
                       NATE
Why not? I don't want to trip
balls by myself.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I said not today! Don't fucking
ask me again because I'm afraid I
might say yes.
                                                            
                       NATE
Why don't you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I want to...
                                                            
Mitch has a flashback of him smoking a joint, blowing the
smoke into an empty fish bowl, sucking back in the smoke and
coughing like crazy.
                                                            

71.

                       MITCH
      (handing him the
       weed)
Here, take it.
                                                            
                       NATE
How much?
                                                            
                       MITCH
For all of this shit? Uh, about
forty five bucks.
                                                            
                       NATE
Holy shit. But it'll be fucking
worth it.
                                                            
Nate pulls out his wallet and hands him a fifty dollar bill.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Now get out of my fucking house.
                                                            
                       NATE
What about my change? That's a
fifty.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Service fee.
                                                            
                       NATE
Service fee? I came to your
fucking house and you want a
service fee. I didn't make you
drive across town or anything.
                                                            
                       MITCH
You needed weed. Which required my
service, and for that, there is a
fee. Now get out.
                                                            
 
INT. THE SHIT HITS THE FAN AGAIN - DAY
                                                            
LATER THAT DAY IN MITCH'S LIVING ROOM
                                                            
Mitch is sitting on his couch watching Resevoir Dogs. His
doorbell rings.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
Open the door! It's Johnny-Boy!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Just come in!
                                                            

72.

Johnny, Addison and Carder walk in with two 30-packs of
beer.
                                                            
                       MITCH
What the fuck? Sixty beers?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
We gonna party it up tonight.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Uh...Are you forgetting this is my
house?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
And?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm tired and I want to rest.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Since when have you become such a
pussy? Come one Mitch.
                                                            
                       JOHNNY
We already called people.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well call them back.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
No!...No. We are partying.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Alright. Okay. But not too much
people,please.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Oh don't worry. There won't be.
You want a beer?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Eh, toss me two.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (excited)
That's my main man Mitch! Ready to
get his ass into party mode!
                                                            

73.

LATER-PARTY
                                                            
It's a pretty big party. There's girls dancing, beer and
weed is everywhere. The song PEPPER by BUTTHOLE SURFERS is
playing in the background.
Addison and Carder are sitting with two girls.
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
      (pointing at
       Carder)
What's his problem?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
He's just really high.
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
Oh.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I'm pretty high myself. But, yah,
fuck the small talk. What do you
say we go somewhere and fuck?
                                                            
                       CHICK 1
Um, well...
                                                            
                       ADDISON
We can do it here. I'm not ashamed
to show my cock. Nor do I care
about how indecent I will be
exposing myself in any form or
fashion.
                                                            
The chicks are very turned off.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
And the fashion is...clothes off.
                                                            
                       CHICK 2
We're going to have to pass.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
It's cool. I'll just ask you later
and maybe the outcome will turn
out in my advantage.
                                                            
The two girls leave.
                                                            
                       CARDER
Is it because I'm fat?
                                                            

74.

                       ADDISON
No, they just aren't shitfaced
yet. But I will soon break into
their vaginas like a theif in the
night.
                                                            
IN RACHEL'S CAR
                                                            
Rachel is driving to Mitch's house. She picks up her phone
and calls him. Mitch doesn't pick up, and so it goes to
voicemail.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Mitch. I'm coming over. I just
thought we could have dinner or
something. Well, I'm on my way.
I'll see you in a bit.
                                                            
MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
The party is still going strong, and everybody is clearly
high or drunk. Mitch is drunk and starts dancing. There's
attractive girls dancing near him and one walks up to Mitch.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CHICK
      (yelling)
Are you Mitch? The guy who lives
here?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yes. That is me.
                                                            
                       DRUNK CHICK
You're hot.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Thank you. You aren't too bad
yourself.
                                                            
She takes his hand and drags him to his couch and start
giving him a lapdance.
                                                            
                       MITCH
This broad is insane!
                                                            
IN RACHEL'S CAR
                                                            
Rachel turns into Mitch's neighborhood and sees all the cars
in from of his house.
                                                            

75.

MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch is sitting in a circle where a joint is being passed
around. They guy next to Mitch is toking.
                                                            
                       STONED GUY
Hey bro, you're next.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (drunk)
What?
                                                            
                       STONED GUY
It's your turn man. Hurry up it's
burning.
                                                            
The guy hands Mitch the joint. Mitch starts thinking of
Rachel and his committment. He just stares at the joint.
Rachel then walks in and sees Mitch holding it. Mitch panic
and drops the joint.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel, I-
                                                            
Rachel starts crying and runs out.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (yelling)
Rachel!
                                                            
Mitch gets up and runs after her.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (walking to her
       car)
I knew this would happen.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (slurring his
       words)
Rachel, I'm didn't smoke. I
didn't!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Oh, and how am I supposed to
believe you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel, I sware to God I haven't
smoked. You just happened to walk
in at a very bad time. I'm
actually suprised that your timing
            (MORE)

76.

                       MITCH (cont'd)
was so well balanced...with what
was happening.
                                                            
Rachel slaps Mitch in the face.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You fucking prick!
                                                            
Rachel gets into her car.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel! Please believe me! Don't
go!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Goodbye Mitch. I hope you have fun
getting high with your little
friends.
                                                            
Rachel drives off.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (yelling)
Rachel! Fuck!
                                                            
Mitch runs into the house and then starts to feel sick.
Addison sees him stumble in.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Dude, you look like you just saw
the "Scream" guy or something.
                                                            
Mitch pukes and then passes out on the floor.
                                                            
 
INT. NOT A GOOD NIGHT - DAY
                                                            
Mitch wakes up from sleeping on the floor and Addison is
watching television.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Mitch, are you alright?
                                                            
                       MITCH
What the fuck happened?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
One might say, you had a little
too much to drink. It's called a
hangover. It's in the dictionary.
            (MORE)

77.

                       ADDISON (cont'd)
Look it up.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Did I...I passed out?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Yah, you walked in here all
stumbling and shit, and then you
were like "Hey guys-"
                                                            
Addison mocks Mitch throwing up.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
It was pretty funny. What happened
outside? Did you like jog around
the block? You puked your whole
weight out.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Rachel thought I was smoking. She
walked in here and saw me with a
joint in my hand. I was about to
put it down.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Talk about bad timing. They should
put that in the "Worst Case
Scenario" trivia game.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (getting up)
I gotta go talk to her.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Call her. Dont't go stalking her.
That wouldn't help out your cause
one bit. Did she brake up with
you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
She slapped me across the face.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
OOOOH. Yah, she broke up with you.
Want to get high?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I gotta go.
                                                            
Mitch leaves his house.
                                                            
 

78.

INT. BROTHERLY ADVICE - DAY
                                                            
COLE'S APARTMENT
                                                            
Cole and Sarah are sitting on his couch making out, and then
Mitch knocks on the door.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (mad)
Fuck. Who is it?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Mitch!
                                                            
Cole gets up and opens the door.
                                                            
                       COLE
What the fuck bro? I was in the
moment.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Shit. Is this a bad time? Because
I can go...and fucking kill myself
maybe.
                                                            
                       COLE
What happened?
                                                            
                       MITCH
I got wasted last night and
apparently Rachel walked in and
saw me holding what looked to be a
joint.
                                                            
                       COLE
You smoke?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No. I didn't. For real, she like
drove off all fucking pissed and
shit.
                                                            
                       COLE
Come in man.
                                                            
Mitch walks into Cole apartment.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Hey Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey...Sarah. Have you talked to
Rachel lately?
                                                            

79.

                       SARAH
Yah. She was pretty upset. I don't
think she wants anything to do
with you. No offense. I mean, I
believe you one hundred percent.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck.
                                                            
                       COLE
Wait! You knew this had happened
and you didn't even bother to tell
me?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I figured he had told you already.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I would have, but I was too
fucking shitfaced last night. I
slept in my own vomit for Christ's
sake.
                                                            
Cole opens up a can of beer.
                                                            
                       COLE
Come sit down and have a beer man.
Tell me how you feel.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I...I feel cheated man. I got
caught holding a joint, not
smoking it. She didn't even let me
explain.
                                                            
                       COLE
She probably saw how drunk you
were. Then she put two and two
together.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I need to talk to her. I've tried
calling her, but she's not picking
up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Just, whatever you do, don't go
stalking her. Girls fucking hate
that. Believe me.
                                                            
                       COLE
What? Has a guy ever stalked you?
Did he follow you to your car in
some creepy deserted mall parking
            (MORE)

80.

                       COLE (cont'd)
lot?
                                                            
                       SARAH
No. Not like that. I mean, you may
think it shows how much you care,
but don't do stalking her.
                                                            
                       MITCH
So what your saying is that I
can't even go to her house?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Do you want to get slapped in the
face?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Uh, No.
                                                            
                       SARAH
My only advice is to keep trying
to call her.
                                                            
                       COLE
Yah. Leave like fifty different
voicemails of you saying
embarassing shit. Trust me. Girls
go apeshit when you put your
dignity as a male on the line.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Have you ever left embarassing
voicemails on a girl's phone.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (laughing)
What? Like only once.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck my life right now. I feel
like shit. I feel...I
feel...stupendous.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (puzzled)
You do know that stupendous means
you feel good, right?
                                                            
                       MITCH
No. No it doesn't.
                                                            
                       COLE
No. No. Stupendous is good.
                                                            

81.

                       MITCH
No, stupendous is bad.
                                                            
                       COLE
Stupendous is good. Don't make me
brake out the fucking dictionary.
                                                            
Mitch gets up.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'm going to go talk to her.
                                                            
                       COLE
At her house?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah.
                                                            
                       COLE
Good luck man.
                                                            
Mitch leaves Cole's apartment.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (looking at Sarah)
Can we fuck now?
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (smiling)
I guess.
                                                            
Sarah sits on Cole's lap and takes her shirt off.
                                                            
 
EXT. TRYING TO EXPLAIN - DAY
                                                            
OUTSIDE RACHEL'S DOOR
                                                            
Mitch knocks on Rachel's door.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Who is it?
                                                            
                       MITCH
It's Mitch.
                                                            
Rachel opens the door.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Mitch, I told you that we are
through.
                                                            

82.

                       MITCH
Rachel, you need to relax and let
me explain the situation. I still
am clean. Can we just talk please?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You want to fucking talk? Get out
Mitch, come on. I've heared things
about you how you were such a big
pothead. And you were drunk that
night.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Who the fuck told you that?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Don't worry about who told me.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I do need to worry because it
looks like I have a back stabbing
friend. And yah, I was drunk, but
that does not mean I wasn't
thinking right.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I think all the pot smoking has
gotten to you, because usuallly
when you're drunk you do stupid
shit and you don't act normal.
                                                            
                       MITCH
What I ment was, I knew what I was
doing enough to know that I
shouldn't smoke. I held it. Did
you not want me to hold weed?
Sorry, you never made that fucking
clear!
                                                            
Mitch holds his hands up.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Say sorry hands! You let Rachel
down! What the fuck!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (starting to cry)
If you don't leave, I;m going to
call the cops.
                                                            

83.

                       MITCH
Call em! Maybe they can assess the
situation properly and put some
sense into your head.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You are an asshole!
                                                            
                       MITCH
Fuck that! Fuck this! You know,
I'm sorry I was such a waste of
fucking time. Sorry that I'm not
the perfect fucking prodigal son
you had hoped for!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Get the fuck off my property
Mitch!
                                                            
                       MITCH
I am! And you know what I'm going
to go do? I'm going to burn down
that fucking greenhouse and let
the fumes pollute the town and let
you and everyone know how it feels
to be high! So then maybe, I could
talk some fucking sense into you!
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I'd like to see you try. They'll
put you in jail. Where you belong!
                                                            
                       MITCH
I really hope you realize what you
are doing. I'll fucking piss in a
cup and let you run tests on it
just to prove that I am clean!
                                                            
Rachel slams the door on Mitch and starts crying on the
other side of the door. Mtich starts walking away.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (yells aloud)
Fuck!
                                                            
 
INT. NO MORE GREENHOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            

84.

AT MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch ridding his house of any weed, and goes into the
greenhouse and completely clears it. He puts all the weed
into a box.
Mitch drives over to Addison's apartment. He knocks on his
door, and Addison opens it.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
What's happening man?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Hey dude.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Come on in. I just ate shrooms
like an hour ago so if I start
tripping out...you'll know it's
the shrooms.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Damn dude. We haven't done shrooms
in forever.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I know. I got them from some guy
handing out tracts at the corner
store.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Tracts?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Tracts. You know? Little books
that teach you about Jesus on
Easter.
                                                            
                       MITCH
And you bought shrooms from him?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Yah, it was so weird. He was like
"Hey son, have you heard about the
word of Jesus Christ?...You wanna
but these shrooms?". And I took
them. Oh, and I got the tract too.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Great combination.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
      (sniffing)
Is all that weed for me?
                                                            

85.

                       MITCH
How did you know it was weed?
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I smelt that shit when you were on
the highway.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah man, it's for you guys. Now I
have no temptation.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Did Rachel take your dumb ass back
again?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Actually, no.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Then why the fuck are you
quitting?
                                                            
                       MITCH
It's a personal decision. Some
things need to be thrown away
before you start fresh.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Okay Socrates, but I'm not paying.
                                                            
                       MITCH
That's another thing. I wasn't
going to sell it. It's yours to do
whatever you want with it.
                                                            
He hands him the box.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I'll take this as an early
Christmas present.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, I'm gonna get going.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
Thanks dude. I should be set on
weed for like five years now.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh, and I also put "Chewbacca" in
there.
                                                            
Addison opens the box and pulls out a bong (Chewbacca).
                                                            

86.

                       ADDISON
No way. Chewbacca's mine?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah man. Take good care of him.
                                                            
                       ADDISON
I will man, oh I will......Oh
fuck. I think the shrooms just
kicked in. Whoa.
                                                            
Addison starts tripping out.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Peace man.
                                                            
Mitch leaves.
                                                            
 
INT. DEPRESSION HURTS - DAY
                                                            
IN MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Mitch sitting on his couch and is clearly depressed. His
phone RINGS and he answers it.
                                                            
                       MITCH
What?
                                                            
                       GREG
Mitch. It's GREG. How ya been?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Bad.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good to hear man. Hey...uh, I need
some weed. So...yah.
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (angry)
Really? Just some weed? You don't
want to know what's been up? Or
why I'm fucking depressed up my
ass in fatty foods?
                                                            
                       GREG
Um, no. I just want my weed. we do
this every month.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Remember when I met you?
                                                            

87.

                       GREG
Kind of.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I'll tell you what man. Those were
some fucking food times. Some
fucking good times!
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, whatever man. Can I just
swing by and pick up my shit?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (raising his voice)
No! You can't! You-You cant just
expect me to give you all of your
weed man. So...fuck you dude! I'm
out! No more business! Looks like
you're shit out of luck!
                                                            
                       GREG
Are you serious?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yes I'm fucking serious! When am I
not serious?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (pissed off)
This is bullshit! Where the fuck-!
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (interrupting Greg)
Yah! Yah! Eat shit Greg! Eat shit!
                                                            
Mitch hangs up on him.
                                                            
AT THE PHONE STORE
                                                            
Brent is behind the front counter. Rachel walks in.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Rachel? Hey! Back so soon?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Hey, um...I was wondering if you
happened to have those headset
things?
                                                            
                       BRENT
You mean "BlueTooth"?
                                                            

88.

                       RACHEL
Yah, that.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Well, if you come over here I-
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (interrupting
       Brent)
What are you doing tonight?
                                                            
Rachel is doing this to take out her frustration with Mitch.
Brent is silently stunned.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughs)
Sorry. I normally don't do this.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (smiling)
No. No. It's cool. Let's
see...tonight, I was going to go
to Buddy's and watch the game.
Why? Did you wanna come with?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yah, that sounds great.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Alright, cool. I'm guessing Mitch
won't be accompanying us tonight?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
No. he's an asshole.
                                                            
                       BRENT
      (laughs)
Well, Rachel. Let's see...I get
off at seven. I can pick you up if
you want?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Alright, well let me give you the
directions.
                                                            
AT MITCH'S HOUSE
                                                            
Cole is knocking on his door and Mitch is not answering.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (knocking)
Mitch! I know you're in there.
Mitch!
                                                            

89.

Mitch is sitting on his couch watching "The Notebook" and
crying.
                                                            
                       COLE
      (knocking)
Mitch!
                                                            
Mitch gets up and opens the door.
                                                            
                       COLE
Finally. Whoa. What the fuck?
                                                            
Mitch looks like a complete mess.
                                                            
                       MITCH
What?
                                                            
                       COLE
You look like shit man.
                                                            
                       MITCH
My heart looks like shit man!
                                                            
Mitch starts walking back to his couch and Cole follows.
                                                            
                       COLE
Come on man. Cheer up. Let's go to
Buddy's and watch the game. Maybe
have a few beers.
                                                            
Cole sees beer bottles everywhere.
                                                            
                       MITCH
I don't need your help...or beer.
                                                            
Cole looks at what Mitch is watching on the television.
                                                            
                       COLE
What the fuck are you watching?
                                                            
                       MITCH
The Notebook.
                                                            
                       COLE
So have you grown a vagina now or
what? You can't tell me your into
this pussy shit.
                                                            
                       MITCH
It's not pussy shit. It's a very
touching picture.
                                                            

90.

                       COLE
Touching huh?
                                                            
                       MITCH
It's a wonderful story of passion
and l-l-love. It's beautiful.
                                                            
                       COLE
Did Oprah recommend this? Do I
need to pick you up by your balls
to get your attention? Or should I
should just smack some fucking
sense into you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Can it Cole! You don't know how it
feels!
                                                            
                       COLE
How what feels?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Love!
                                                            
                       COLE
Mitch, I wasn't planning on
telling you this, but I plan on
marrying Sarah. So you can't tell
me I don't know what love feels
like!
                                                            
                       MITCH
You're going to propose?
                                                            
                       COLE
Yah, I actually have the ring
right here.
                                                            
Cole reaches into his pocket and shows Mitch the ring.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh, that's nice. Expensive?
                                                            
                       COLE
For me, yah. You could say that.
So are you going to come with me?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (getting up)
Yah. Yah I'll go. Just let me
fucking-
                                                            
Mitch belches.
                                                            

91.

                       MITCH
wash up and shit. I can't go
looking like this. Oh, and let me
finish the movie.
                                                            
Mitch sits back down and Cole just stares at Mitch.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Or...I can watch it some other
time. I rented it.
                                                            
                       COLE
I bet you looked like a real
faggot renting this.
                                                            
 
INT. BUDDY'S - NIGHT
                                                            
IN BUDDY'S BAR AND GRILL
                                                            
Rachel and Brent are sitting at a table. The bar is quite
packed and everyone seems to be having a good time watching
the hockey game.
                                                            
                       BRENT
So, Rachel. What does a girl like
you enjoy doing?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Just about anything, I guess. I
just like to get out and
socialize.
                                                            
                       BRENT
I can't socialize.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (laughs)
Why not?
                                                            
                       BRENT
I meet too many good people. It's
too much too handle and I have a
different output on making
friends, because I have to call
them and, at most, chill with them
at some point in time.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I guess that's a good enough
reason. It's just too GOOD too
meet new people.
                                                            

92.

                       BRENT
      (laughs)
Yah. So do you ever come here?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Yah, I've seen some games here and
there. I normally come in big
groups of people.
                                                            
                       BRENT
The more the merrier. You know, I
used to play a little hockey
myself?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
Oh really?
                                                            
                       BRENT
Yah. Actually, I used to play with
Mitch and his brother on a team
when we were younger.
                                                            
You can tell Rachel is disappointed to hear that Mitch has
been brought up into the conversation.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (disappointed)
Oh...
                                                            
                       BRENT
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
bring him up.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
No, It's cool. I just don't want
to even think about how fucking
stubborn he was.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Tell me about it. We used to be
fucking best friends. We were like
partners in crime until he came to
me one day with a joint in his
hand and a VHS of "The Wall" by
Pink Floyd.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
He never mentioned you or
anything.
                                                            
                       BRENT
I don't doubt that. I just don't
see how you can be so close with
somebody and then suddenly you
            (MORE)

93.

                       BRENT (cont'd)
just never hang out with them. Me
of all people.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
He never hung out with you?
                                                            
                       BRENT
No. We've hung out a couple of
times here and there, but he was
always high, and I don't know if
you know this, but when you're
hanging out with somebody that's
high when you're not...It
unexplainably awkward.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
I would imagine.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Do you ever wonder if, maybe, he
was high every time you were with
him?
                                                            
                       RACHEL
      (aggravated)
No. I never thought that. No.
                                                            
Brent is too naive to sense Rachel's aggravation.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
Mitch and Cole are walking to the entrance of the bar. They
notice all the cars.
                                                            
                       COLE
I wasn't expecting a packed house.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Well, it's the playoffs. What else
would you expect?
                                                            
                       COLE
Yah, but how many people enjoy
hockey as much as us?
                                                            
                       MITCH
Apparently we aren't alone.
                                                            
                       COLE
I guess so...
                                                            

94.

                       MITCH
      (opening the door)
I just hope there's a fucking
table.
                                                            
INSIDE
                                                            
Rachel looks to the front entry and sees Mitch walk in. You
can see the disbelief on her face.
                                                            
                       RACHEL
You have got to be kidding me.
                                                            
                       BRENT
What? What's wrong?
                                                            
Brent turns around and sees Mitch and Cole. Mitch and Cole
have not yet noticed them.
                                                            
                       BRENT
Oh shit. Look who it is.
                                                            
Mitch is looking for a table.
                                                            
                       COLE
You see a table anywhere?
                                                            
                       MITCH
There's one.
                                                            
Mitch points to a table in the vicinity of Rachel and
Brent's table. In order to get to their table they would
have to pass Rachel and Brent's.
                                                            
                       COLE
Fuck. I wanted to sit at the bar.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Yah, well beggars can't be
choosers.
                                                            
                       COLE
Shut up you little "Notebook"
watching pussy.
                                                            
Mitch and Cole are walking to their table, and then Mitch
sees Rachel and Brent.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Oh no...
                                                            
Cole then notices Rachel and Brent.
                                                            

95.

                       COLE
Oh fuck it's a small world. Just
calm down Mitch.
                                                            
Brent turns around to see Mitch and Cole.