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Silent Terror
by Adam Peasley (jjacobson@prtel.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Horror   User Review: ***1/2
A night of fun turns into nightmare for a couple of friends

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



We are in the middle of a hallway. We see a nurse coming
down the hall. She is about in her mid twentys. She has
short brown hair and innocent eyes.
She has something in her hands. We zoom in to find its two
cups. One is small and contains two little white pills. The
other cup is full of water.
The nurse gets to a door with the number 42 on it. She
knocks on the door.
      (Outside of Door)
Henry its just me.
She opens the door and goes inside the room.
It's pretty dark inside. That dosen't bother the nurse as
she knows Henry likes the dark. She is used to having to
give him his medication in the dark.
It's a pretty plain room with a bed. There is also a few
dressers and a night stand with a TV on it.
There is a figure sitting on the bed. His back is facing us.
It's time for you to take your
The figure sitting on the bed dosen't move.
Did you hear me?
The nurse starts walking closer to the bed.


      (Angry Voice)
Did you hear me?
She gets even closer to the bed.
      (Stil Angry Voice)
I'm in no moode to play games.
She is right up to the bed. She reaches her hand out to see
if he is ok.
Are you alright?
Her hand reaches the figure on the bed. She lets out a gasp.
She feels that the figure is made of plastic.
Suddenly, a hand grabes her from behind and covers her
mouth. The figure's other hand raises. In it we see he as a
machete in his hand. His hand with the machete comes down
and stabs her in the heart.
The nurse is dead instantly. Her limp body falls to the
The figure starts heading for the door.
He gets to the door. Before he opens it he looks back at the
dead nurse. He the goes and opens the door.
The figure walks out of the room. His back is facing us.We
start to notice he isn't dressed like a patient. Insted we
see he is dressed in what looks to be like military combat
suit complete with helmet.
The figure stops moving for a second and turns around. We
see he is also wearing a gas mask as well.
We hear a bell going off. All of the students rush out of
the building. It is just a few days until the end of the
school year. Some of the students run to catch the bus,
while the others go to the parking lot to their cars.


We zoom in on a group of kids that have gathered around a
red sports car.
BRAD JOHNSON,he is the hunky football player that every girl
wants to be with.He has somewhat curly brown hair.
      (Excited Voice)
Graduation day is almost here
Pan to AMY. She is Brad's Grilfriend, and captain of the
girls basketball team. She has long flowing blonde hair.
Yeah, I can't wait to get out of
this little town.
Pan to Jeff and Emily. Jeff isn't too much into sports, but
does play on the boys basketball team. Emily is his
girlfriend. She is more into her studys and curly brown
It's been a long time coming.
I'll say, I like school and all,
but it becomes way too much.
What should we do on the last day
of school?
All four of them start to think of what to do.
How about the fair? I heard it is
in town the week after graduation.
I don't know about that.
Why not Brad?
      (looks annoyed)
Going to the fair is just too
What do you suggest then?


How about the old Parker's place?
Jeff, Emily, and Amy have looks of confusion on their faces.
Are you fucking kidding?
No I'm not. What is wrong with
going there? It's safer then most
of the places in this dump of a
Jeff, are you kidding?
No, I'm not. He's right, it is
safer to hang out there then
anywhere else.
There is a moment of silence.
                       AMY (O.S.)
I'm in.
Alright. What do you say Emily?
What day should we do this?
How about on Thursday? It's the
last day of school. We just go
there have a little fun, and go
Amy, Jeff, and Emily all agree.
So, it's all agreed. We will meet
at the old Parker's place at 5:00.


They all agree to the time. Brad and Amy get into his car,
While Jeff and Emily go to Jeff's car.
We see a lady named Sue. She's about fifty-two. She has a
her hair in a bun. She has light brown hair. She is getting
ready to close up for the night.
She goes into a smaller room to put somethings away. We pan
over to the door and see that it is opened. She comes from
the small room, and notices the door is opned.
      (walking towards
How did that get opened?
She goes to shut the door.
She reaches for the door. When a hand grabes her from a
corner by the door. Shee looks at the hand in terror. She
looks up to see who the hand belongs to.
We see that the hand belongs to Henry who is still wearing
the combat suit and gasmask.
Terrified, Sue tries to fight back, but Henry has to strong
of a grip on her hand.
Henry whips her closer to him. She lands face first into his
chest. He turns her around, and wraps his left are around
her throat.
      (terrifird voice)
p...p...please don't kill me.
His arm around her throat gets tighter.
Sue starts gasping for air.
Henry lift up his right hand which as the machete in it. See
this Sue gets even more paniced. Henry brings down his right
hand and starts stabing Sue repeatedly. She makes several
gasping noises has the machete dig deep into her chest.


As the machete comes down for the last time. She makes one
last gasp for air. Her body falls down to the floor.
We focus on the lifeless body of Sue. We see Henry walk
around the dead body. We see him go O.S. We keep the focus
on the body of Sue. Then we hear the door shut.
We see a large group of people outside of the Floral Shop.
There are several police cars parked on the street. The
police officers are keeping the large crowd from seeing what
Inside the shop we see a deputy talking to a pretty blonde
haired woman. The pretty blonde haired woman looks like she
has been fighting back tears.
The pretty blone hair woman's name is Jessica. She has very
beautiful blue eyes. She has wavy blone hair.
      (to Jessica)
That'll be all miss
The front door opens up,as Jessica walks to the back door.
We here the back door open then shut.
In walks Sherif Patrick Hanson. He has been on the Sherif of
Ferguson for the last Twenty years. He his a hansome man. He
is Thirty-Five years old. He has a crew cut hair style.
      (he watches a
       strecher with
       Sue's body go by)
So, what happned here?
According to our witness. She was
coming in at 8:00 this morning to
open up the shop.

(stops for a minute)
When she opened the door she saw
Sue in that corner over there.


He points to where the body was found.
From the looks of it she was
stabed about twelve or thirteen
times. All of them were in the
chest area.
Could you tell what kind of weapon
was used?
                       JOHN (O.S.)
A machete
Patrick's eyes widen with terror.
      (slams fist into
That sick fuck!
John looks confuised.
What are you talking about?
I'll explain everything at the
We are inside Mr. Donaldson's room. He is about forty-eight.
He is bald. He is not the student's favorite teacher. He is
teaching the class about Pearl Harbor.
                       MR. DONALDSON
      (to class)
Alright class, now that you know
what events lead up to the U.S.
entering World War 2. I want you
to write a two hundred word essay,
about do you think such an attack
could have been prevented.
He looks up at the clock.


                       MR. DONALDSON (CONT'D)
      (still looking at
       the clock)
You have the last ten minutes to
start on it.
The class starts to write their essays.
We pan over to Brad. His eyes are fixated on the clock.
      (whispering voice)
come on... come on... come on...
Mr. Donaldson looks up from his desk and sees Brad isn't
                       MR. DONALDSON
      (to Brad)
Mr. Johnson, if you wish to
graduate next week you better
start writing.
Yes sir.

(whisper voice)
You old bat.
Brad takes out his notebook and starts writing. Shortly
after getting started on his project, the bell rings.
Everyone get up.
                       MR. DONALDSON
Alright class,Have a good weekend,
and make sure you have the project
done by Monday.
We pan over to the parking lot. Emily, Jeff, and Amy are
waiting by Brad's sports car.
      (spots Brad)
There he is.
Brad makes it to his car and joins his friends.
What took you so long?


      (disgusted look)
That damn all is to small for this
many students.
Everyone agrees with his statement.
      (to Emily)
Hey Emily, Do you think you can
come over later and help me with a
history prject?
Yeah sure. What time?
      (looks at his
How about 7:00?
Did Mr. Donaldson assing his
famous two hundred word essay on
Pearl Harbor?
Yes he did.
Are we still on for Thursday?
You damn right we are.
Sure am
They hear a beeping noise. It sounds like a bepping noise
that a watch would have.

The beeping watch belongs to Jeff.
      (looks at watch)
Shit! I'm going to be late for
work. I got to go. Do you think


                       JEFF (cont'd)
you guys could give Emily a ride
Jeff runs off to his car to go to work.
They stop in front of a two floor house. Emily gets out of
the car.
      (as she get out)
Thanks Brad. I'll see you at 7:00.
No problem.
Brad and Amy drive away.
As Emily walks up to the house she can't help but think she
is being watched. She hurrys up to the house. She opens the
house door and goes inside.
Patrick is telling John about the local boogeyman.
Well it all started out five years
ago. There was a car accedent that
happned here. In one car was a
mother, she looked to be in her
fortys. With her was her daughter.
She was about to graduate that
year. in the other car was five
drunken kids, who were also going
to graduate.
Patrick takes a drink out of his coffee cup.
Anyway, the five teens were
arrested. The judge did allow them
to march on their graduation day.
There court hearing was set for
the next week.


Patrick takes another sip of coffee.He lets out a huge sigh.
It was a corrupt case. The judge
was paid off by one of the kids
parents. They should have been
given jail time, insted they were
given probation.
We see that Patrick has a very disgusted look on his face.
The verdict didn't sit will with
anyone. So, one night a witness
said he was sitting out on his
pourch, when he saw this figure
dresse from head to toe in a
military combat suit wearing a gas
mask entered the judge's home.
There is a long drawn out silence.
Then he heard a loud scream coming
from the house.
Didn't he call the police?
No. Anyone who remembered that
case, knew the judge got what was
coming to him.
There is another long silence.
Everyone knew who is next victim
were going to be.
                       JOHN (O.S.)
The teens?
Patrick startes nodding his head.
I'm not going to go into
details,but all five of them were
found dead. They were all brutally
stabbed to death.
There is a long pause.


We thought he was done with the
killing, but we were wrong.
We now see a flashback of various people being killed by
                       PATRICK (V.O.)
He just kept killing. Several
towns people tried to stop him,
but he was just to strong for
The flashback secens is over. were are now focused back on
Patrick. He has beads of sweat running down his face.
                       JOHN (O.S.)
How did you stop him?
We had look outs posted all over
the town. At first everything
seemed to be quiet. Then we got a
call saying he was on 123rd
street. He was getting ready to
A long drawn out pause.
We were able to get to the house
in time. We were able to tackel
him to the ground. As soon as we
did we took off the gas mask.
Who was it?
It was Henry Howard.
The judge went easy on him. They
sentenced him to Rolling Hill
      (looking confused)
You think Henry is doing all of
Patrick nods his head.


You see, I was called up to
Rolling Hill Sanitarium. There was
reports of a dead nurse.
John looks even more confused.
How do you know that it is Henry
doing all of these killings?
Patrick puts his head down on the table.
      (head still down
       on table)
I was looking at surveillance
footage at Rolling Hills. There
was a guy that came out of room
forty-two, dressed in military
combat suit and wearing a gas
mask, carring a machete.
We better warn the town.
      (lifts his head up)
We can't, he has unfinished
John looks like he is starting to get mad.
Why not? What unfinished business
does he have?
      (looking at John)
He'll be going back to 123rd
Street. To the first house on the
                       JOHN (O.S.)
      (still looking at
That is were the mayor lived but,
that house has been empty now for
years. I doubt that Henry even
knows the mayor left town after


                       PATRICK (cont'd)
the night.
We see Emily leaving the house. We see Brad also walked her
to the door.
Thanks for helping me.
Your Welcome.
Emily is half way down the walkway,when Brad calls for her.
Would you like a ride home?
      (looks back to
No thanks. I could use the
Alright, well see you later.
Emily is at the end of the walkway and is now walking on the
sidewalk. She takes a left and continues down the sidewalk.
As she walks, she can't help but think she is being
followed. She turns around. There is nothing there but, she
still feels like there is someone there. She gets to the end
of the sidewalk and makes left.She still feels like she is
being watched.She stops walking and turns around.
Alright, Who's there?
There is no responce.
Get a hold of yourself. It's just
your imagination.
She starts to walk again.


As she starts walking she can hear another person walking be
hind her. She beomes paniked.She stops walking and turns
As she turns around she sees a shadowy figure coming for
her. she starts running tring to find a place to go.
She finds an alley and runs in there. She gets inside the
dumpster and shuts the lid.The shadowy figure enters the
alley. It looks around for a minute then leaves.
Emily opens the lid a little bit to see if it is alright.
She looks around, there is nobody to be seen. She gets out
of the dumpster.
That was close.
As she walks around the corner a pair of hands grab her by
the sides of her head. She looks at the figure it is Henry.
She lets out a terrified scream.
She tries to fight off the over powering man but, it is
usless. He then lets her go but, then he grabs the top of
her head with on hand and in the other grabe the machete. He
lifts the machete up over his head. He comes down and cuts
Emily throat.
She lets out gasping sounds. She is tring to breath.
Henry takes the machete and jams into her heart multiple
times. Emily's body falls to the ground.
Jeff is sitting in the living room watching TV. He is ready
for school. He is getting ready to leave when he hears a
reporter mention a murder happned last night.
Jeff decides to watch the report.
                       REPORTER (V.O.)
This morning the body of eighteen
year old Emily Peterson was found
here on Bradly Street.The Police
don't have any leads yet.
Jeff's eyes began to tear up.


We see Brad and Amy waiting for Jeff. They both have very
sad faces and are both fighting not to cry.
I should have given her a ride
      (looks at Brad)
It's not your fault
      (lowers his head)
Yes it is
We pan over to the enterance of the parking lot. We see
Jeff's car pulling in.
                       AMY (O.S.)
He's here.
We see Jeff get out of his car. He slams to door shut. He
just walks towards the school.
Patrick and John are tring to figure out where he is gonna
strike next. There in a little room with a map haning on the
      (staring at the
Lets see here. First he killed the
nurse at Rolling Hills.
Patrick puts a thumbtack in the east side of town.
Then he struck at the Flowarl
Shop. That is all the way
He put a thumbtack in the middle of the map.
And now a girl on Bradly Street.


He puts another thumbtack in the middle of the map.
I don't get it. Two kills in
reltivly busy places and one that
is pretty damn far.
They both study the map as closely as they can. Patrick
looks at the map and notices something.
I can't believe I didn't see that.
He's going to 123rd Street. The
only thing is he'll kill anyone he
sees. I think he keeps getting
distracted. You see Emily was
leaving the Johnson's place, that
isn't too far away from 123rd
Street. I think he was going by
there saw the girl leaving the
house and decided to follow her.
John nods his head in agreement.
We see what looks to be about sixteen gangmembers.We can't
hear what they are saying.
We pan to a wall and see a shadow. Then we see something
walk past. We don't see whats going on but, we can hear the
various cries form the gangmembers (O.S.) as this shadowy
figure is killing them.
We don't hear anything anymore. All we hear is the killer
walking walking by.
We now pan over to the carnage. The bodies are completely
mutliated. There is a lot of blood.


We see Brad, Amy, and Jeff in the parking lot. They seem to
be at lost if they should go to the old Parker's place on
Thursday or not.
I think we should go. Emily would
have wanted it that way.
Are you sure, Jeff?
Yeah, I'm sure.
They hear a the warning bell.
We better hurry before were late.
      (looking back to
Yeah, we better hurry.
They start walking towards the school. As there walking, we
see a pair of army boots come into view.
They go their sperate ways to their classes.
We see Brad open the door to his biology class. Just as he
sits down, the final bell rings.
We hear a knock on the door. The teacher goes to open the
door. When she opens it, she sees Sherif Hanson. With Sherif
Hanson, is Jeff and Amy.
I hate to bother you but, I need
to see Brad.
The teacher looks back at Brad.
We see Patrick talking with Jeff, Amy, and Brad.


      (looking at all
I want to know a few things. Have
you ever notice anything strange?
No, I haven't.
      (looking at Jeff
       and Amy)
How about you two?
They both look at each other.
Patrick knows they're telling the truth.
Alright then. You three have a
good day.
Patrick walks away. Brad, Jeff, and Amy look at each other.
      (to Amy and Jeff)
What was that all about?
Both Amy and Jeff shrug in confusion.
Both Patrick and John are puzzled. They can't really figure
Henry out. They look at the map. It has a new thumbtack, the
tack is five inces away from the two in the middle.
It seems that Henry dosen't follow
any pattern.
There is a moment of silence.
It seems like he will kill whoever
get in his way.


We pan over to Patrick who has his eyes on the map. He can't
find any sort of clue as to where Henry will srike next.
I don't get it. He seems to have
changed his killing habits. He was
alwasy very calculated.
He looks at John. Get Rolling Hills on the phone for me.
We pan over to Jeff, Brad, and Amy. They are over by Brad's
red sports car. They can't seem to figure out why the Sherif
asked them that question.
I don't know what Patrick was here
for. Asking us that stupid
Jeff and Amy look at Brad with just as much confusion on
their face.
Jeff and Amy look at Brad with just as much confusion on
their face.
Jeff decides to change th subject. He dosen't want anyone to
feel uncomfortable.
So, What are you to going to be
doing tonight?
      (grinning at Amy)
Well, were going to be going to
see a movie and then were going to
make out point.
What are you going to be doing,
He dosen't really know what he is going to do. So he just
I'll just sit at home watching
some TV or maybe play some video


      (looks down at his
We better get going, Amy.
Alright. See you later Jeff.
The car backs up and drives away. Jeff waves goodbye. He
starts walking to his car. He opens his car door and gets
into it. He starts up the car, shuts his door and drives
We see Brad and Amy walking out to their car. There are
several other peopel walking around them.
What did you think of the movie?
I don't know, I thought it started
out alright but, then it just went
down hill.
I know what you mean.
They get to his car. Brad walk over to the driver side to
unlock the car. He puts the key into the car lock. He looks
down on his car and sees someone scratched his car.
He neals down to read what it says. It says VENGANCE WILL BE
      (gets up from the
       nealing position)
Who the fuck did this?
Did what?
Amy walks around the front of the car to see what Brad is
talking about.
She looks down at the crypted message.


Who would do that?
I don't know, but I'm going to
find out.
We see that both Brad and Amy went to the police department.
They just got done explaning to whole thing to John.
That is all that happned.
      (looking over his
Alright. I'll have the Sherif look
at this the firt thing in the
Thanks man.
Both Brad and Amy get up to leave. They walk to the door.
Brad opens the door. He lets Amy go out first, Then he
follows. He shuts the door behind him.
We pan back over to John. He is rubbing his head in
What is going on in this town?
Jeff is just walking up to meet up with Amy and Brad. When
gets up to the car he sees the message.
      (looking at the
What happned?


      (angry voice)
Some fucking idoit decided to have
an art show on my car last night.
Do you know who did it?
                       AMY (O.S.)
We did go to the police station,
to report it.
We hear a the warning bell coming from the school.
Time for class again.
Hey, look at it this way, only one
more day.
The three walk towards the school.
We pan over to see Patrick is on the phone with someone from
Rolling Hills. He looks concered and deeply frustrated as
      (on phone)
Are you sure?
      (from phone)
Yes sir, we have give you all the
information we have on Henry.
Ok. Thank you.
He hangs up the phone.
      (anxiously waiting)
So, what did you find out?


      (looks at John)
I found out that Henry killed
      (confuised look)
What are you talking about?
We see that Amy, Jeff, and Brad are sitting together at a
lunch table. Jeff is eating a pice of pepperoni pizza. Brad
is eating a taco. Amy is eating a salad.
That's too bad about your car,
Yeah. Whoever did that is going to
wish he never did.
Amy looks annoyed.
Will you just give it up. John
said they will look into it.
      (looking at Amy)
I know I should but, I just can't.
      (nods agreeingly)
I know.
We pan over to a hallway that goes by the lunch room. We see
a gas mask in the refliction of the glass.
The bell rings and the students come running out. Brad, Amy,
and Jeff goes to the parking lot. Tonight is the night they
go to the old Parker's place.
Tonights the night. We go to the
old Parker's place.


I can't wait.
Brad looks down at his watch. We better get going. Will meet
at the old Parker's place at 5:00 tonight. Brad opens up the
passenger door for Amy.
Amy gets into the car.
Brad shuts the door.
Well, see you at 5:00 tonight.
I'll be there.
Brad walks over to the drivers side of the car and opens his
door. He get in and startes the car. He shut his door and
drive away.
Jeff watches as they drive away.
We see an old run down looking building. It is a popular
hang out place for teens.
We pan over to the highway and see a car coming up the road.
They stop in fron of the house. It's Brad's car. Three doors
open up. Amy and Jeff get out.
Brad shuts of his car and gets out of it.
      (looking at the
Should we go in?
Amy and Jeff are to busy looking at the house.
      (still looking at
       the hous)
Let's go in.
They walk up the walkway. Brad opens the door. The Three of
them enter to house.


The house isn't as bad as it does on the outside. As a
matter of fact it looks like someone has been living there.
They go into the living room and sit down on some chairs.
They began to talk about the year and how fast it went.
It's strange, the year has gone by
so damn fast.
      (nods her head)
It did.
Your telling me.
Brad is looking around the house, he notices there are
stairs. Where there are stairs there is a bedroom. He looks
at Amy. Amy notices he is looking at her.
Why are you looking at me like
You and I should go see where
those stairs go to.
      (looking back at
       the stairs)
Oh Brad, What about Jeff?
I suppose we could have a
      (hits brad in the
You idiot.
                       JEFF (O.S.)
No, You guys go ahead. Have your
fun. I'll find something to do.


      (looking at Jeff)
Are you sure?
Jeff nods his head.
Brad and Amy get up both making giggly noises. They start up
the staris and slowly disapper. We can still hear them
giggling, as we hear a door open up then shut.
Jeff is about to get up, when to strong hands pull him back
down. He tries to call for help but, the figure slices his
throat with a machete.
Jeff makes a loud gasping noise. The figure takes the
machete and stabs him in the chest. Jeff dies in the chair.
We hear a door form upstairs open up and we hear Amy and
Brad coming down the stairs.
                       BRAD (O.S.)
      (from upstairs)
Jeff are you ok?
There is no responce.
                       AMY (O.S.)
      (from upstairs)
We now hear running both Brad and Amy running down the
staris. They get into view to see that Jeff is dead.
Amy begins to cry. She smothers herself into Brad's chest.
We got to get out of here.
They walk past Jeff's lifeless body. They are about to enter
the kitchen area, when a figure jumps out from a corner.
The figure is Henry and he jams the machete into Brad's
side. Brad lets out a painful scream.
      (in pain)
AHHH, You son of a bitch.
They run back up stairs. Henry slowly walks up the stairs.


Back to the police station. We are in Patrick's office. We
hear a phone ring. He picks up the phone.
There is a silence.
Are you sure?
More silence
Your kidding me. Your not. Oh,God.
Back inside the Old Parker's Place. We see Henry is
searching for Brad and Amy.
We pan over to a bedroom. We see that Brad and Amy are
hiding under the bed.
They see Henry's shadow. The shadow now faces the closed
door. We hear the handle jiggling.
Henry breaks down the door. Brad and Amy can't beleive their
eyes. Henry looks down at the bed.
We see a police car screaming down the road to the Old
Parker's Place.
Back inside the bedroom in the Old Parker's Place. We see
both Brad and Amy are now in a corner. They are pleading for
their lives.
      (in tears)
Please don't kill us.
Henry raises his hand with the machete. Then we hear gun
fires. Henry drops down to the ground. Both Amy and Brad
look to see who it is.
Oh, Thank god.


It's Sherif Hanson. His gun is smoking after firing it off.
Brad walkes over to the lifeless body of Henry. He neals
down and turns Henry on his back.
      (starting to get
Are you two ok?
They are in shock and don't answer.
Don't worry. Everything is going
to be alright.
Amy lets out a horibal scream. She points behind Patrick.
Patrick turns around and sees that Henry is up. Henry raises
his machete and charges at Patrick. Patrick jumps out of the
way. Henry turns around and tries to charge at Patrick
We hear to gun shots go off. Henry drops down to the ground,
dropping his machete. Patrick neals down and turns Henry on
his back. He takes of the military helmet and the gas mask,
to revival who the killer is.
Brad and Amy come closer. They have a look of shock on their
Right in front of them is Jeff.
      (over his CB)
I'm going to need paramedics at
the Old Parker's Place.
We see Jeff be escorted out to a squad car.
Amy, Brad, and Patrick are standing in front of the house as
they see Jeff get put into the police car.
      (shocked voice)
I can't figure it out. Why did he
do that?
We see the police car start to leave. We stay focused on it.


                       PATRICK (V.O.)
It turns out Jeff is Henry's son.
After Henry was sentenced to
Rolling Hills, Jeff was put into
the custody of his granparents.
There is a pause.
                       PATRICK (V.O.)
He overheard that his father
comitted suicide. I guess he was
never the same after that.
One Year Later.
We see Brad and Amy, now both Fresmen in college. We see
there sitting on a bench.
Hard to think, its been a year
I know what you mean.
Brad looks down at his watch. He sees it is almost 1:00 pm.
      (looks at Amy)
Would you like to walk me to my
      (looking a Brad)
They start walking. They round a corner, They both stop
walking. They both of wide eyes and shocked expressions on
their face.
We pan over and see what they are looking at. In fron of
them is Henry, or is it Jeff again or is it someone eles?


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From johnpaul Date 8/2/2008 ****
From John Paul Very well done.I really enjoyed it.

From Kevin Mitchell Date 7/30/2008 ***
I liked the story a lot, it's one of my favorite genres. It had that feeling of teen slasher movie with a slight Michael Myers feeling to the villian. The cop was a bit slow but I'll assume that was the effect you were going for. The only criticism I would leave is do away with "we see" "they see". It's a script, I can read it. Instead of saying we see HENRY creeping into the room as the kids lay under the bed. MAKE IT more visual. Henry enters the room as the kids lay underneath covering their mouths, muffling their wimpers. Henry aproaches eerily and stops... Overall It was a great short story and a real enjoyable read. Thank you.

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