Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Last Hellos
by Jeremy Goodlander & Matt Phillips (rockingtheparadise12@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **1/2
We make choices that change our lives, choices that define us. Joe Sullivan is a failed man unable to come to terms with a choice he has made. After ten years, Joe must redefine himself and escape the shadow of his failure. "The Last Hello" tells the story of failure overcome. It is a story of one man taking back his life.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


The restauraunt is busy. Every table has a body. Servers run
around carrying food. It is loud. Glasses tink. Music
Among the servers is JOE SULLIVAN(28) tall and wiry, walks
through the crowd with a slight limp. He wears black slacks
and a pressed white button down shirt, stained with grease
and sauces.

He carries a heavy order on his sholders. Joe approaches a
table, he sets the tray down.

At the table a family. Two parents, two kids, they are
obviously irritated.
Joe begins to hand out the order.
Ok. Chicken parmasan. Mac and
Cheese. Chicken fingers and
grilled salmon. Anything else for
you guys tonite?
Yeah. How about our order.
We all ordered cheesburgers. What
the hell is this?
And we haven't had a refill yet.
We've been sitting here for over
an hour and a half.
                       KID ONE
Daddy. I'm starving. Can we go to
McDonalds now?
      (looking directly
       at Joe)
Yeah, buddy I think that's a good


The family climbs out of the booth.

Joe takes a seat in thier spot.

The father watches Joe and shakes his head: no.
Man. You are by far the worst
waiter I have ever seen.
You might be right.
Can I give you a bit of advice?
Why not?
Try a different line of work.
The man turns and follows his family out of the restaraunt.

Joe look across the room. At the kitchen door stands VINCENT
(30's) the manager. He points his finger at Joe.
My office. Now.
Joe hangs his head in the booth. After a second he slowly
rises and makes his way through the crowd.
Vincent is seated behing a huge desk. It is neat and
orderly. Vincent has his arms folded. He staring at Joe.
Joe is slouched in a chair. His head down.
I gotta let you go.
You're just not cuttin' it anymore
buddy. Tonite was a prime example.
It was one table Vinnie.


This has been along time coming
buddy. You've lost it.
Joe sits motionless in his chair.
What happened to you man? You were
on a fast track to your own
restaurant. I haven't received a
postive comment from a customer
for you in over six months.
Joe does not respond.
Do me a favor? Clean out your
locker so I don't have to.
Can I finish out the night? I
could use the tips.
Like you'd get any. No Joe. Go
Joe rises from the chair and exits the office.
The main street is filled with people. This is a street
fair. Artists and vendors call out to the crowd from their
Joe walks though the crowd. A black bow tie is undone,
hanging from his neck.
Joe finds his way through the crowd to his front door. To
the right is a bakery, to the left a costume store. Behind
the glass facade a female mannequin dressed as a dominatrix
stares at him.
      (as he searches
       his pocket for
       the key)
Hola baby. I'm back from work. And
how was your night out?
Joe unlocks the door. He looks at the mannequin for
another moment.


Nice outfit baby.
Joe climbs the staircase slow, but singing.
We took this trip to Garden Grove!
Oh yeah! Smelled like Lou Dog
inside the van! Uh-huh! This ain't
no fucking reggae party! Oh no!
Joe walks toward the row of mail slots on his left, opens
one and takes out a stack of envelopes.
At the end of the hall JIMMY sits in a plastic lawn chair
smoking a cigarette. He has his shirt off, his torso covered
with colored tattoos.
What the fuck Jimmy? Didn't Maggie
say you can't smoke in the lobby?
Jimmy clenches the cigarette in his fist, using it like his
middle finger. He flips Joe off.
Joe. I need to tell you something
important. Fuck Maggie.
Jimmy takes another drag off the cigarette.
O-kay. Just make sure you only
burn down your half of the
building hotshot.
Joe turns his attention to his mail.
What the fuck is it with you
bitches? I'm not gonna burn the
place down.
Where's your ashtray dude?


      (looking around)
I don't fucking. I don't have one.
Joe stares at him for another second and turns to his
Hey, by the way have you seen my
What makes you think I have seen
your little pussy?
Probably because you live in the
I think you have your mind on the
wrong pussy my friend.
What's that supposed to mean.
Ahh you'll see my friend.
Joe studies Jimmy for a minute then enters his apartment.
The place is bare aside from the table, an old couch, a
typewriter, and a Television with a stack of DVD's on top.
Jenna, I'm home. Did you find the
Joe searches throughout the house. Empty.
What the fuck? Jenna!
Joe stalks back into the living room. He notices a NOTE on
the phone.

The note reads: PLAY ME.

Joe presses the play button.


                       JENNA (v.o)
Hi Joe. As you probably can see by
now, I've left. I'm sorry I just
couldn't do it anymore. These last
six months have been a nightmare
and I don't think you've even
There is a sliding glass door which leads out to a small
balcony overlooking the street. Joe opens it and steps out
to the balcony.
                       JENNA (v.o)
I gave it my all Joe, and I don't
think it was enough. Anyways, I
left the invitation to your
reunion on the table by the couch.
I still think you should go Joe.
It might be good for you.
He heads back into the living room and to the table by the
couch. He picks up the card.
                       JENNA (v.o)
On the counter in the kitchen is a
fresh bottle of Jack and in the
fridge is a case of beer. It's my
goodbye present to you. So long
Joe. Oh, by the way I couldn't
find Fatcat or the phone.
Joe walks into the kitchen. He heads for the fridge. Joe
opens the fridge, empty except for a case of beer
Jesus. Thanks Jenna.
He grabs his beer and goes back to the balcony, the card in
Joe examines the contents of the card for a moment.
He finishes off the beer and walks back inside.


Joe walks into the kitchen, tosses the beer bottle out and
grabs another. He hits the pager button on his telephone,
which hangs from the wall.
Where the hell are you?
He pushes the button again and walks into the living room.
Joe gets down on hands and knees, squeezes his arm under the
sofa and comes out with the phone.
How the fuck?
Joe falls into the sofa and dials a number.
      (over phone)
It's a damn shame I missed your
call. I understand that MY time is
valuable. To expedite your call,
please pay close attention. This
changes at my convenience. For
past girlfriends and sexual
history press one. For legitimate
gripes and concerns press two. For
monetary concerns of which I am
the payee press three. For all
other inquiries...


Fuck off.
Don't you have anything better to
do then that Mark? Of course you
don't. Anyhow man, I was just
wondering if you got this class
reunion thing. Looks like a real
shit kicker up in your neck
of the boonies. I'm not sure I'll


                       JOE (cont'd)


Anyhow. Give me a call man, just
uh, you know, leave a message with
my secretary or whatever.
                                         FADE TO BLACK
Joe is passed out on the sofa. A group of beer bottles are
on the coffee table. Joe still has his work uniform on, and
a half full bottle of Jack Daniel's cradled in his arm.
A loud BANG on the door. Another BANG.
Wake up asshole! Let me in!
Joe opens his eyes. He sits up, sips from the bottle he's
been holding.
What the fuck.
Let me in Joe! Wake up!
Joe stands and walks to the door, opens it.
MARK HUNTING(28) smiling, tall, and always sarcastic is
Good morning sweetheart. Did I
wake you?
What the fuck are you doing here?


Did you get my message?
Message? I look like I keep up on
that shit? What the hell are you
wearing, you have a wedding to go
to or something?


It's what I do now.
So the rest of us have to suffer
Mark points at the spots on Joe's shirt.
Hey it's nice to see you're taking
care of yourself.

(slapping Joe lightly
on the cheeks)

Nice close shave, fancy apartment.
Wow, someone broke on through huh?
Mark strolls in and makes himself comfortable on the couch.
Jenna around?
No she left.
When she coming back? I wanna say
She's not coming back.
Wait, she left like you guys broke
She left, like she took all the
food and shampoo, left.
Wow, she took the shampoo?
She took the shampoo.
They share the silence.


Well, get yourself out of that
penguin suit you asshole, I'm
You drove all the way from Venice
Beach to buy me breakfast?
Joe walks into the bedroom.
No. I drove all the way from the
coast to sit on your couch and
think about eggs.
Good. Why don't you think us up
some beer too?
      (looking at the
       empty bottles)
Because I can see somebody else
thought about enough beer for the
both of us.
The diner is retro, it feels like the 50's. The place is
small enough to hear the short order cook cracking eggs in
the kitchen. Mark and Joe sit across from each other in a
booth by the window. They each have coffee in front of them.
So what are you gonna do?
I'm not gonna chase after her if
that's what you mean.
Two years is along time to just
let it go.
It was over awhile ago, we were
just together for convienance.
So your not gonna go?


I told you I'm not gonna look for
To the reunion jackass.
Oh. No, I mean who fucking cares?
It's a reunion, no big deal.
Don't be a moron Joe. A reunion is
a chance to see what losers we all
turned out to be. It's like a
talent show without talent. And
nobody wins. It's like watching
hope die, right on this table. And
then waiting to see what's
left. It's like-
Would you relax? It's not like
either of those things.
Hey. Sue me because I'm creative.
Because I'm imaginative and-
Fuck me man.
A long pause.
Able to use descriptive prose to
describe my emotions as they
Joe leans back and shakes his head.
You are...

(points a finger at

You are a piece of work my friend.
And there is no way I am going to
this thing with you.


Would somebody talk some sense
into this guy? Please, It's like
trying to convince a monkey to
wipe his ass.
Wow. Fabulous prose. Really,
striking imagery.
I paint with words. That's what I
Joe nods.
Oh. You're just going to sit there
and fucking nod. Great. You look
like a fucking...
Joe motions his hand for more.
Like a fucking... I don't know...
Like a fucking bobble head doll on
a bus driver's dashboard.
Thank you. That's the best
compliment I've had in weeks.
I was too generous.
A young waitress comes to the table with their food. She
sets the plates down and walks off, swinging her hips.
Wow. Now that is my type.
Mark turns in the booth to follow her.
That chick is like nineteen,
maybe. Ass.
Nineteen? You think so? I was
hoping she wasn't quite that


You think that might be why your
relationships don't last?
My relationships? Look who's
talking Casanova.
They both dig in to the food.
Although, that very well could be.
Who's to say you know, I
drink a lot of fucking whiskey,
that might have something to do
with it. I wash my whites and my
colors in the same load. I don't
put the toilet seat down. I mean
why should I, we have to put it up
every time, what about fucking,

(making quotes with his hands)

Equality dude. They want us to put
down the seat, but they want the
same salary as all us men. I mean
let's really add this up, really.
We do more fucking work then they
do. How many times do you put down
the seat yourself any given day,
I kept it up, I paid the rent.
Well fuck you. Forget it, how
about the average good husband?
Say he pisses six times a day,
he's got to put it up six times.
Then if he's loyal to his wife
or whatever, he's got to put it
down six times. Multiply that by
however many of us there are in
the world. You got that figure?
You fucking have it? Well take
that and apply the quadratic
equation or whatever the fuck that
thing is and it's a fucking LOT OF
WORK. Jesus. We could power the
whole western hemisphere for like
a hundred years if we could
harness all that wasted fucking
energy. We could all fuck our


                       MARK (cont'd)
wives twice as much.
Next time I ask you why your
relationships don't last just slap
yourself, remind yourself that
you're an idiot. Then quietly go
about your business.
I'm unlocking the keys to
civilization, and you can't even
see it.

(takes a bite of his omelet)

This fucking omelet is amazing.
Mark, I appreciate you coming out.
I can't go to the reunion. I can't
do it.
Are you trying to upset me? This
thing is our last chance for that
high school glory everybody dreams
about. By the time the twenty year
comes up we'll both be dead. Look,
dude, your karma is about to turn.
I know you have a shitty job-
What makes you think that?
There isn't a girl, there
isn't any money. What the fuck
have you got to lose? Trust me, I
can see your karma about to turn
right there.
Mark points at Joe's forehead.
And me? I'm coming along for the
ride brother.
All that shit you just offhandedly
listed. Those are all the reasons
I won't go to the reunion.


The waitress comes by and pours more coffee.
Thanks sweetie, you're doing
He follows the waitress as she walks away seductively.
I fucking love it when they want
it. You should buy some lottery
tickets. I'll stand behind you in
line and soak up some of that
excess karma.
Speaking of buying. You're the one
who wanted breakfast so...
It's cool. I have recently
acquired a shiny new credit card
with a rather generous limit. I'll
even tip.
Joe pretends to be surprised.
Aside from all that other shit.
Mark finishes his omelet and sets his plate on the edge of
the table.
You and I are both aware of
something else. Another reason why
you won't go. The chink in your
armor, if you will.
I haven't had my teeth cleaned in
months, and that's a problem.
I'm talking about James.
I could of gone the rest of the
day without you saying that.
Mark reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter, from
his breast pocket he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He taps
them, shakes one out and lights up.


You can't fucking smoke in here
A couple in another booth look over at him. Mark stares at
them until they look away.
We'll see. Hey you remember that
chick he was going out with? The
one you had a thing for. What the
fuck was her name?
Alison. Alison Jordan.
Alison Jordan. God she wore the
tightest jeans man. Like you could
see how perfectly formed her ass
was. It was like she wanted you to
hate yourself for not being able
to get her.
They both stare off, remembering. Mark blows a few smoke
Somebody at this table knows about
      (Latino accent)
It's no smoking in here cabron!
Mark pretends not to hear.
I hear she's a photographer now.
Supposedly doing pretty well.
Lives in New York.
Well maybe I missed a few
geography classes, but isn't
Manhattan in New York?


      (louder than
It's no smoking here cabron!
Mark turns around in the booth, shrugs at the cook.
We're leaving right now! Deme el
They don't say it like that
though. I mean it's more specific,
you know, like you say the
borough, then the block and the
cross street. It's a pride thing.
I think it was Hemingway who said
"fuck pride."
No. That wasn't Hemingway.
The waitress brings the check, Mark pulls out his credit
card and hands it to her.
Keep the change sweetheart.
She walks off to run the card.
Hemingway shot himself Joe. That's
basically like saying "fuck
pride." And saying it with a
pretty vast conviction I might
The waitress returns, drops off the card and walks away.
Mark follows her one last time.
Joe puts his head in his hands.
I can't go to this fucking thing.


Mark is at the mail boxes as Joe crests the staircase with
his limp. Jimmy is at the far end of the hall again,
Did you just break into my
I'm helping you out, just relax.
Calm, assertive.
Joe unlocks the apartment while Mark goes through his mail.
Hey, Joe. How's that waiter job
treating you?
Joe stops with the key inserted, stares at Jimmy. Mark looks
up from the mail noticing the exchange.
Joe opens the door and enters the apartment.
      (pointing at Jimmy)
He got a different job. A better
job. He's a limo driver now.
Well, at least he doesn't have to
find a new uniform, does he?
Mark shrugs.
Jimmy blows smoke into the hallway.
You shouldn't smoke in here buddy.
Especially when you don't have an
Jimmy looks around.
Mark goes back to the mail, walks inside.
Jimmy gives him the finger.


How IS that waiter job treating
It's not, I got fired last night.
You're kidding me right? You lost
your job and your girlfriend all
in one night?
My cat too. My cat is missing.
Holy shit, where is Willie Nelson
when you need him? You got a
bonafide country music hit on your
Mark notices a bundle of paper on the coffee table. He picks
it up.
What's this?
My latest rejection letter.
For the script? When did you get
Last night.
This is too good.
Joe nods.
Laugh it up.
You are so going to this reunion.


I was afraid of that.
Mark sits on the sofa next to Joe, laughing hysterically.
The Nova doesn't look like it'll last much longer. Mark is
driving with Joe riding shotgun.
This thing is a real piece, man.
Yeah, it's a classic. Pretty sweet
man. The guy I bought it off, he
had a glass eye. It was fucking
Joe is trying to roll down the window.
Hey don't do that. Trust me,
you'll never get it back up.
Joe stops, begins to press buttons on the stereo.
You'll be in a wind tunnel all the
way to Venice Beach.
Joe stops with the stereo, picks a magazine up off the
cluttered floor boards.
I really don't want to do this.
I'm in no mood to deal right now.
Man up, fag. Where are your balls?
When I find em I let you know huh?

(He looks down at the magazine)

This Rolling Stone is a year and a
half old Mark.
I like to keep back issues. For
reference. It's a clerical thing.


                       MARK (cont'd)

(he grabs the magazine)

Britney is on the cover. Hot.
How ARE things at work man?
Alright. I'm doing well for
myself, as you can see. Some of
these new bands are such
assholes.Thinking they're God's
gift. Most of these guys have
never heard Bob Dylan.
Shut the fuck up.
I'm dead serious man, I'm working
with so called musicians that have
never heard a Bob Dylan song, I
mean they might have heard one on
the radio or whatever, but they've
never sat down and listened to
him. You know?
They should be shot.
Listen, this thing thing will be
fine. At the very least we can all
use it as an excuse to get wasted.
How long have we known each other?
Fifteen years, why?
In all that time have I ever
needed an excuse to get wasted?
That's my boy. Now you're starting
to come around. We've got to stop
and pick Caster up on our way out
there. Maybe have a drink or two
at his place.


Is he still...

(makes a smoking motion)
Fuck if I know. He's a lawyer,
he's probably on to bigger shit by
Mark is looking for the visitor parking. He pulls around and
finds what he's looking for. A large truck has parked across
two spots.
Wow. Somebody knows how to park
like an asshole, huh?
Evidently. You know what? Fuck
Mark pulls right behind the truck and shuts the Nova off.
Man, you really love to push
buttons don't you?
Me? Are you kidding? Look at this
asshole, he's the one who likes to
push buttons. I should key his
fucking car.
They get out and walk towards the truck. Joe notices a
couple of stickers on the back window.
Led Zeppelin. Grateful Dead.
Dylan. G and R. Well, we can't say
he doesn't know music.
Fuck that. He probably bought it
used, those were already there.
Let's go.


Mark bangs on the door, a cigarette in his mouth. Joe stands
behind him, waiting.
It's us!
The door creaks open very slow. No one is there. Mark looks
back at Joe and shrugs. They walk in.
As they walk in, CASTER(28) is running down the hall into
the bedroom, bare assed.
Jesus. Thanks a lot Caster.
Joe and Mark look around. Super Mario Brothers is on the
T.V., paused. The place is a mess, Chinese takeout on the
counters, empty beer bottles all over, posters of playboy
bunnies are everywhere.
Dude, you play Mario naked?
      (from the bedroom)
I just woke up!
      (to Mark)
That's not an excuse.
No. that's not an excuse. Dude.
You play Mario naked?
Caster comes out of the bedroom in sweatpants, shirtless.
Sorry about that guys. Joe what's
up man, it's been awhile.
Caster makes a move to hug Joe. Joe moves away.


Man, I just saw you naked. A hug
right now would be a little too
weird okay. Let's just take it
slow Cass.
Hey, no problem. I like a little
candle lit dinner before I become
intimate. Maybe a couple draft
beers and some pizza?
Caster winks at Joe. They shake hands.
How you been man?
Mark sits down on the sofa, starts to play the video game.
Good. Kicking ass and taking names
brother. I'm doing mostly real
estate now. Better money.
Mark throws his arms up as Mario falls into a hole.
You fucking fuck. That was my last
free man. And keep it down, my
roomates are still sleeping.
Sorry, I have to get warmed up.
Mark sees a pack of smokes on the floor. He steals one and
lights it up
This place is a mess.
You should be a newscaster.
Eat me. So, big shot real estate
lawyer. Why don't you get your own


Hold that thought. Papa needs a
Caster goes into the kitchen, grabs three beers from the
      (to Mark)
Mark shrugs. He doesn't take his eyes off the screen.
Mark turns around as Caster tosses him a beer. Caster hands
one to Joe and sits on the arm of the Sofa. Joe sits down
next to Mark.
What is this shit?
It's a micro brew. Drink it.
Micro brew?
Only so many barrels made a year.
Micro brew.
They all open their beers. Mark with the cigarette still in
his mouth.
So why don't I get my own place
He's afraid he won't get his
deposit back.
Mark pauses the game and sips his beer.
That's good beer.
Joe takes another look around, then takes a sip.


I would say that's a good
possibility. Who cares? Eat it.

(looking at the beer)

Jesus. That is good.
I need to hire a houseman.
A what?
A houseman, are you blind? A
fucking houseman. Someone to clean
up my mess.
Yeah I heard you, but why a man?
I don't care if a fucking dog
cleans my place, as long as I
don't do it.
Silence as Mark pilots Mario through a difficult task. Joe
looks around more and shakes his head. Mario falls into the
a crevasse.
You suck at this Mark. You play
like a two year old.
Shut the fuck up.
I didn't expect to see you Joe.
Figured you'd bitch out on this
one considering.
Joe takes a long swig, finishing his beer.
      (cutting in)
Nothing. Look, Cass, he's here
man. He's fucking going. Drop it?


Caster shrugs.
Hold on. Considering what?
Don't take this the wrong way man.
I'm completely open. Say what
you're going to say.
It's common knowledge haven't done
much since we graduated. Most of
us went to college, got careers.
You didn't.
Joe is turned towards Caster now, tension building in his

Mark pauses the video game and puts his head in his hands.
Some people had kids, got married.
Some of us made a hell of a lot of
Shut up Caster. Joe isn't in the
best of places right now.
Mark turns to Caster and puts his fingers to his head.
Mentally. Emotionally.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm saying it seems like you
haven't really found any direction
man. That's all.
Joe reaches over and takes Mark's beer, chugs it.
Thought you were gonna be a
playwrite or some shit. Now that
shit, that would be an
accomplishment. Fuck a degree.
FUCK a degree.


Mentally. And emotionally.


And it was a screenwriter, dick.
Sue me.
Mark starts the video game up again. Joe and Caster watch in
The three of them are walking towards the parking lot, Mark
with a cigarette in his mouth. Caster has a bag slung over
his shoulder. Joe is limping just behind.
Ankle still bother you huh?
You shatter your ankle and tell me
how it feels.
Damn Mark. Could you park any
further from my front door? This
bag is heavy.
That's what you get for packing
like a bitch.
Hey fuck you, all I've got is a
pair of slacks, some dress shoes,
and a giant box of condoms.
There's no need for you to take
your lifetime supply Cass, we're
only going to be gone a day or
two. And we're not going to
Tiajauna this weekend are we?
Hey, let's not rule that out
soldiers, all roads lead to


When you're driving.
They come around a corner, the huge truck is still there. A
BLONDE CHICK with short shorts and a tank top is staring at
the Nova.
Hey sweetheart. In case you're
wondering, that's a classic.
Caster lets out a half hearted laugh.
The Blonde Chick turns around. She is spilling out of her
top. Joe and Caster both stop moving. Caster's jaw falls
                       BLONDE CHICK
I'm not your sweetheart smart ass.
Yeah. It's a '72, that's right.
The rare four door model.
                       BLONDE CHICK
I know what year it is. Maybe if
you painted the thing you'd get
laid once in a while.
You can drive it if you want, I
don't mind.
                       BLONDE CHICK
If you don't move it, I'm going to
DRIVE into it. I need to get to
You drive that?
He points at the truck.
                       BLONDE CHICK
Would you guy's move your fucking
The three of them open the doors and get in. Joe rides
shotgun, Caster in the back.
Mark starts the Nova and revs the engine. It back fires. The
Blonde Chick shakes her head at them. Mark tosses the
cigarette out at her feet.


He sticks his head out the window.
Dylan fucking rocks!
He spins the tires. Joe turns around to see the chick
flipping them the bird.
It's a good thing you brought
those condoms Cass.
Joe and Caster are following Mark up the stairs to his loft.
They crest the stairs and stop to stare at the Pacific
Ocean. Mark continues to his door, not even noticing.
Mark, you didn't tell me you
lived right on the beach.
Nice huh?
You've been out of touch man.
It's fucking amazing.
Mark unlocks the door and steps inside. Caster follows. It
takes Joe a moment more, but eventually he enters.
Mark has his arms around a gorgeous brunette, SERA
SLADE(27). They embrace in a long, cinematic kiss. Caster
goes about making himself at home. He tosses his bag on the
floor and sits on the sofa.
Joe stands just inside, watching Mark and Sera. The kiss
ends and Sera smiles at Joe.
Hey Joe. How are you?

(to Mark)



                       JOE (cont'd)
I didn't know you two were back
Mark walks into the small kitchen area and opens a cabinet.
The blind man only knows what he
Mark brings out a bottle of Scotch from the cabinet.
Six months now.
And you guys live together?
Mark opens another cabinet and takes out four small glasses.
Close enough. This winch won't
leave me alone, she doesn't pay
for a damn thing. Sits in front of
the mirror and puts make-up on all
Mark pours a couple ounces of Scotch in each glass.
Screw you Mark.

(to Joe)

I haven't seen you in so long.
Joe drops his bag and approaches Sera, gives her a hug.
I know. Man, you look great.
Keep your stinking hands off my
woman. Caster, get over here.
Let's toast.
Caster tosses a magazine he's picked up onto the small
coffee table. All three of them walk over to the kitchen.
Mark hands each a glass. He leans over and kisses Sera
again. Caster taps his lips.


What about me big boy?
Your lips are chapped.

(blows a kiss at Caster)

Alright guys, a toast.
Oooh. A toast honey? How classy.
Mark ignores her. Caster holds his Scotch up to the light,
inspecting the color.
Whatever has happened. Whatever
will happen. If our fucking
grandparents pass, or our cat
bites the bullet.
Which, by the way, I think mine
Joe drinks his Scotch and slams the glass down. Everybody
looks at him, still holding their glasses in the air.
Mark sets his glass down, pours Joe another portion, more
generous this time.
Whatever happens, to always coming
back together. To our friend Joe.
Who has finally after all these
perilous years decided to grow a
pair. To a mother fucking good
time people.
They all clink glasses and down the Scotch, Joe finishing
last with his giant portion. All four slam their glasses
Mark goes for the bottle again. He pops the cork in.
      (to Mark)
Don't be stingy with that shit.
You said a mother fucking good


Mark pops the cork. He begins to pour into Joe's glass.
Mark and Joe are at the bar. Sera and Caster are playing a
game of pool. The place is a little crowded, not too bad
Now I need you to remind me of
something hotshot. Did you or did
you not say to me: I Mark Hunting
do solemnly swear never to be
seduced by the charm of Sera Slade
in this lifetime or the next?
Were those my exact words?
Yes. Those were your exact words.
What the hell are you thinking?
Look here's the deal Joe. It's not
about what she did or didn't do to
me. It's not about the past with
me. It's about being happy man.
It's about going back to the place
you belong.
And you're happy with her?
Because, and I could be mistaken
here, she did cheat on you, did
she not?
It's about coming back Joe. Some
things you just have to let pass
man. Fucking let it pass.
Joe takes a long gulp from a beer.
Okay. Good for you. You can let it
pass, then good for you brother.
Personally I hold those close to
me to a little higher standards.
It's not okay to cheat on me. It's


                       JOE (cont'd)
not okay to blatantly ruin my
life. It's not okay to treat me
with disrespect. I fucking care
about the integrity of a
Joe. What I'm about to say I say
because I care about you.

(takes a swig off his beer)

So you're saying it's not
acceptable to make a mistake in
your world huh? Look at yourself
man, you don't let anybody in.
What are you talking about? I was
with Jenna for two years.
You shoulda married that girl six
months ago. But what did you do?
You ran and hid. You shut her out.
That's bullshit.
Bullshit? Look man I'll always be
your friend. I'll pick you up and
carry you brother. I fucking will,
whatever it takes. But, saying
that, you're scared man. All you
do is run scared from everything.
How many people do you have in
your life? Really, people that are
actively involved in your life?
Me? Not Jenna, not anymore.
Anybody else? I'm guessing the
answer to that is a big fat N-O.
At some point you have to stop
being scared. You have to say
"FUCK IT MAN." And then move on.
Wait. You get back with Sera, the
girl who destroyed you, and I'm on
trial here for being introverted?
How the fuck does that make sense?


Fuck Sera. Fuck women. And you
know what? You are on trial Joe.
You're on trial with me. You're on
trial, and I'm charging you with
the worst crime a human being can
commit. The crime of not living up
to your potential. Every time I
talk to you it's something else.
My writing is horrible. I can't
write. Writers block. Too busy to
write. Fuck you Joe. I'm sick of
it man. If you want to write, then
write. If you want to bail and
jump off cliffs in Fiji, then
bail. Jump off cliffs in Fiji. But
don't keep saying, the airfare is
too much. I don't have a swimsuit.
I'm afraid of heights. You have
paper. You have pencils. What the
fuck is the problem?
So what the fuck are you trying to
What am I saying? I'm saying, do
what you want to do. If you're
doing it, then you won't fucking
lament about this or that, the
shit you're not doing.
Sera sticks her head in between them.
What are you two loners up to?
Come play some pool with us, boys.
Mark turns and kisses her.
We're on the way baby.
Mark gets up to follow Sera then stops.
You can bet Cas is gonna have
something to say about this too,
and you better be ready. Cause if
you thought I was bad, he'll kill


Mark heads to the pool table. Joe waits a moment, then downs
the rest of his beer and walks over.
Mark is carrying Sera up the stairs. Caster and Joe follow,
laughing about something. Everybody is a little buzzed, but
Sera is passed out.
I know exactly what you're talking
You know what I mean? Can I just
get a break. I shouldn't always
have to work so damn hard for the
loving. It's like shit woman, come
to daddy, I got love for you. I'll
take care of you.
I hear ya man.
Mark crests the staircase and looks down at Caster and Joe.
Hurry the Christ up Joe. You've
got the keys.
Sera starts to stir.
Baby? Where are we?
We're home baby. Don't worry, I'm
going to get you to bed.
Caster and Joe make it to the top. Joe does an about face
and clicks his heels.
Sir yes sir, I have the keys sir.
Joe salutes Mark.
Would you shut the fuck up and
open the door?


Caster starts to laugh but pulls himself under control. He
turns to Mark and clicks his heels. He salutes.
Sir. Your wish is our command sir.
We are here to please you sir.
Caster and Joe both break up in laughter. Mark stands
patiently, Sera weighing him down. Joe walks over and
unlocks the door.
Your humble abode masta.
He waves them in. Caster darts inside. Marks carries Sera
over the threshold.
Thanks for being my bitch.
My tip?
Try a different line of work.
I'm hearing that alot latley.
Caster is already going through the cabinets, coming out
with the Scotch from earlier.
Mark is dumping Sera on the bed, trying to work the blankets
over her. Joe sits on the sofa and picks up a deck of cards
on the coffee table.
Wow. These are sweet. Are they all
real porn stars?
Mark finishes struggling with Sera. She is passed out in bed
now, he turns all the lights off around the bed.
Am I the best looking guy in the
      (pouring into
       three glasses)
If by best looking you mean ugly,


                       CASTER (cont'd)
then yes. You are undoubtedly the
best looking guy in the room.
Why don't we ask these pretty
Joe fans out some cards and holds them over his head so the
others can see. All manner of obscene positions are exposed.
Poker, or Crazy Eights?
He downs a shot of Scotch.
I was thinking more along the
lines of Go Fish, I hear that's
what the privileged play.
Mark walks over to Caster and helps him bring the Scotch and
glasses over. Joe begins to shuffle the cards.
They set it all down on the table, Joe taking a glass.
Caster sits in a recliner to Joe's right. Mark pulls over a
folding beach chair, he sets up to the left.
Straight Poker gentlemen?
Straight Poker baby, like in the
Each of them pulls out a wallet and tosses a dollar bill
into the center of the table. Joe starts to deal the cards.
Give me something good here Joe.
Don't be stingy with that shit.
Joe finishes the deal and all three pick up their cards.
Atta boy. Now we're talking
Mark tosses in another buck.


Raise a buck gents.
Caster tosses in a buck.
I see it.
Joe follows suit.
I'll stick around.
Mark tosses one card on the table. Caster sets down three.
Joe tosses two down and deals each their replacements.
Okay. I raise another buck.
He tosses it in.
Caster tosses in his dollar.
I see your buck and raise a side
Mark and Joe stare at him.
Side bet? If I win this pot, Joe
here has to fix whatever is ailing
his ass by the end of this
Joe tosses his cards face down.
Here we go, I fold.
Cass, c'mon man. Just leave it
I'm tired of hanging with
quazi-fucking-modo all the damn
time. It's like trying to pick up
chicks with a retarded
Frankenstein floating around. It's
too much of a challenge for me. So
you lost your job. Deal with it.


      (to Joe)
I told you didn't I? I told you.
Dude, I mean for the last ten
years you've been moping around.
Doing this bullshit job, losing
that fucked up job. What gives?
Mark lays down his cards.
I call. Full house. Aces over
kings Cass.
Caster lays out his cards.
That's special. But it's not
special enough to beat four hot
Caster rakes in the pot.
So spill, what the hell is wrong
with you?
Everything and nothing.
Caster waits for more and when it becomes obvious that Joe
won't offer anything else, he turns to Mark.
You ask me it started with Alison.
Alison? You say that like it's
supposed to mean something to me.
Alison Jordan. He tutored her in
high school.
This shit goes back to high
school? Where's a joint when you
need one?


So Joe is tutoring Alison and...

(to Joe)

I'm sorry did you wanna tell the
Na, keep going, you're doing fine.
Wait, wait, wait, should I get a
hanky for this?
You wanna hear the story?
I apologize oh gracious one,
please continue.
So, Alison was with James all
through school.
Joe finishes his drink, pours another.
Well, that doesn't mean she wasn't
also with somebody else.
What the fuck does that mean?
Well I was her tutor. We spent a
lot of time...together.
Tutor for what?
Wait a fucking second, if we are
all such good friends, why the
fuck am I just now finding out
about all this?
Joe and Mark exchange a look.


Well for one you weren't exactly
all there in school, if I remember
What the hell does that mean?
You were a pot head.
Dude, you don't have be so vulgar.
I'm actually kinda hurt by that
Hey brotha, I call 'em like I see
So anyways, I was Alison's tutor
for English.
I don't get that.
You know, you don't listen for
Easy tiger, what don't you get big
How can people fail their native
language? It's like, you know how
to speak the language. You can
write, you can read the language.
What the Christ is the problem?
Amen, preacher.
Mark finishes his glass of Scotch, sets it on the table. He
picks up the cards and starts to shuffle.
So I tutored her for about six
weeks. At her house. In her room.


In her bed.
If you're hittin' that, how did
she end up with James at the prom?
You can remember that far back?
Mark stops shuffling and starts to deal.
I have my moments, bitch.
I was the tutor, not the
I might be missing something. Who
really cares about that simple
high school bullshit? So, you
teach Alison a few lessons. No
wait. Alison teaches you a few
lessons, you're both real quiet
because Mom, Dad, and the family
dog are downstairs. Big fucking
deal. She goes to Prom with James.
Fuck Alison. She's a bitch. If I'm
you I'm like shit, I got mine, to
hell with it. You'll see her again
at this thing, ask her if she
wants to do a little dance for old
times sake, if you know what I
mean, wrap it up, be done with it.
Caster stands up and walks over to the kitchen. Mark and Joe
each throw in a dollar.
I mean, It's not worth ten years
of regret, is it?
It's not regret dude it's...
Caster throws his glass it crashes against the wall.
What? What the fuck is it? Jesus
fucking Christ, what the fuck is
it? What is it that made you


                       CASTER (cont'd)
basically give up on your life?
Hey, Jesus, Cass, take it easy.
Hey, contrary to popular belief I
am not a fucking baby, I can take
care of myself. You know you guys
act like I'm not trying here, but
there's a difference between
quitting and things not going your
You know what, you're right, there
is a difference. I may not be part
of the bromance you two got going
on, but I know the difference when
I see a loser and someone whose
lost. And my friend, you fall in
that first catagory.
And how the fuck do you see that?
You're a screenwriter right, or
you were if the birdies are
correct, you get one rejection and
you're done, your dream is dead.
So what do you do, you go get a
job where you drive people around
whose dreams have come true, what
are you waiting for their luck to
rub off on you?
Joe and Mark exchange a look.
It's a living. Wait what are you
talking about? I'm not a driver.
      (to Mark)
I thought you said he was a limo
Yeah, sorry about that. I was just
fucking around.


It doesn't fucking matter. You see
things in your head with those
screenplays no one else can, they
are fucking symphonies, and
because one person didn't like it
you gave up and you settled for
the next thing that came along.
Your a fucking loser dude.
Hey guys, lets just play cards.
I don't want to play. I want to
know why my friend here, has spent
ten years of his life in utter
fucking misery. Consumed by this
chick. Because seriously Mark, she
wasn't that hot.

(to Joe)

Give me some barely legit reason,
I'll let it go. I'll even support
you in your great dream to be
miserable and unlucky. Something.
What is it to you Cass. Really,
what the fuck do you care? You
haven't for the last ten years,
why now?
'Cause someday you gonna look in
the mirror and your gonna have to
come to terms with yourself and
what you've done with this life.
He opens the fridge and starts to pull things out.
What the hell is Hommus?
It's made from Chick Peas. Would
you stay out of my fridge man?
Caster closes the fridge and takes a bag of potato chips
from the counter. He brings them over to the table and sits
down again. Caster tosses a dollar into the pot.


Joe, listen to me. Shit happens.
People do shit.
Caster takes a handful of chips and munches on them.
      (through chewing)
All I'm saying is make sure you
don't waste what you have on the
shit you can't change.

(looking at his cards)

I'll raise a dollar.
Joe antes up, so does Mark.
Caster throws down one card. Mark replaces it for him. Joe
doesn't want to trade in.
Mark drops two of his own and replaces them.
You gonna retort?
Not now.
I raise you guys a twenty.
Joe tosses his cards on the table.
Joe glares at Caster. Caster is oblivious, his eyes are on
Mark gives Caster the eye.
I might not have it Brother. Why
don't you find out?
You're an asshole Cass. You always
have to push.
Stick to the game.


They eye each other.
Let's party.
The two of them lay their cards out at the same time.
Joe looks over at Mark's.
Three of a kind.
Joe and Mark both study Caster's cards.
That's three pair. For a set of
mathematicians you two sure can't
You have six cards asshole.
      (looking at Mark)
Well who's fault is that?
Mark shrugs. He takes a twenty from his wallet and tosses it
into the pot.
Joe is outside the loft, staring at the ocean. He has a cup
of coffee in his hand. The front door opens and Sera steps
out, wearing only a long t-shirt. She has a cup of coffee as
Morning. I love it out here. Every
morning I do this.
They watch the ocean together for a moment. Sera turns and
leans against the railing.
How you feeling? You drank like a
faucet last night.


Not bad. I wasn't wasted or


I wanted to talk to you about
What I did to Mark back then. It
was wrong, and I know that. I've
never made any excuses about it.
Mark and I have been friends for a
long time. If he loves you, he
wants to be with you, then so be
it. I'm just under the impression,
and it could be wrong, that what
happens once will happen again.
I understand your thoughts about
it. I love him. I know that's
something you understand
Yeah. It is.
They drink their coffee in silence for awhile.
I wasn't asleep last night when
you guys were playing Poker Joe. I
heard most of what you guys said.
And um.

(long pause)

I wanted to tell you that it's
okay. Whatever it is it's ok.
The Nova RUMBLES to a stop below the balcony.
Caster jumps out and looks up at them.


What's up ladies. I've got a
He pulls a small bag out of the car and jogs up the stairs.
      (holding the bag
       to Joe's face)
Smell it. I mean really smell it.
Joe sniffs.
Breakfast burritos baby.

(to Sera)

Sera, darling, could you excuse us
for a minute.
If I must.
Oh you must, you must.
Sera gives a slight bow, takes her burrito, and heads in the
You know, in Mexico, when a man
gives another man a burrito it is
considered a peace offering.
No not really, I just knew of this
kick ass burrito place and figured
it was better than nothing.
You're such a dick.
Yes but I am a friendly dick, I'm
like Casper, only I am Casper the
friendly dick, I please both
women, literally and men,


                       CASTER (cont'd)
The two share a laugh.
So we ok?
Not if you keep hording that
Caster is on the sofa, chowing down. Mark is still in bed,
but Caster has put one of the wrapped burritos on his chest.
Sera sits next to Caster and opens a burrito. Joe sits in
the recliner and does the same.
These things are amazing.
Mark wakes up and takes the burrito off his chest as he sits
up in the bed. He walks over to the beach chair and sits.
Mark takes the wrapping off the burrito and digs in.
Caster and Joe walk through heavy crowds. Street performers
line the sidewalk. Women in scant clothes are everywhere, a
vast mix of people move all around them.
If you get something, make sure
the guy can fucking draw.
Most tattoo artists can draw
You think that. I know you think
that, but the work I've seen.
They stop to watch a break dancing street performer.
How much do you think they make?


      (slapping Joe on
       the back)
More then you my friend. More then
They move on.
You think Mark and Sera will last?
Does it fuckin' matter?
Caster stops at a honey stand.
Well yeah, she's fucked him over
once already.
Caster picks up a bottle.
Jesus, is this how you think dude?
No wonder you're so fucked up.
I'm just saying, she's done it
Dude, she fucked up, she said she
was sorry. Get over it. Mark did.
Caster pulls the top off and sticks his finger in. He tastes
That's good.

(puts the top back on)

Dude you really need to stop being
such a little bitch.
You know what? I'm really gettin'
tired of hearing you say that.

(puts the honey back)



                       CASTER (cont'd)
Now that's what I wanna hear. I
wanna hear a man, not a little
Fuck you.
Caster steps to Joe puts his arm around him and leads him
into the crowd.
Listen to me dude, the sooner you
stop living in the past and live
for now the quicker shit will turn
Caster lifts in apple from a stand.
In the end though, no one cares.
You think Mark and I are riding
your ass because of what people
think? Fuck no dude. Fuck all
these people.
An old woman walks by hears Caster's remark. She scoffs at
Especially her. Like she's never
taken it in the ass.
What's wrong with you?
I don't know, I think it has
something to do with my dad being

(he bites into his apple)

Anyways, you start manning up.
Good shit will follow.
Who made you the authority?
Me of course, cause I don't give a


Caster notices a tattoo shop.
Let's go in here.
A couple girls are getting work done. A TATTOOED GUY walks
up to the front.
                       TATTOOED GUY
What's up?
Hey man, I want to get something
                       TATTOOED GUY
Nice. You have something in mind
or you want to look at some books?
Joe goes off and looks at the drawings on the walls.
I ain't gonna look at no fucking
books, I know what I want.
                       TATTOOED GUY
Ok. I can take you right now.
Caster walks to the back.
So I'll see you in an hour huh?
Caster waves from the chair.
Sera has just finished putting a black cocktail dress on.
She looks at her self in a mirror sitting on the dresser.
Caster and Joe are on the sofa, in suits. They are both
reading magazines.
Mark comes out of the bathroom, a tie draped around his
Wow. Were you shaving your legs or
your face?


Keep your panties on, dick
He fumbles with his tie.
Can somebody knot this tie for me?
You put up with this Sera? You
know, daily?
Try hourly.
She takes the tie from Mark and drapes it around her own
neck. She begins to tie the knot.
He's not pretty, but he's
On the contrary, I'm a damn fine
looking man if I don't say so
Do us a favor buddy. Don't say so
Sera finishes the tie, makes some adjustments. She takes it
off and hands it to Mark, gives him a kiss.
Mark tightens the tie. He searches for the keys, finds them
on the coffee table, while simultaneously slapping Joe's
feet off.
I've never had this finished, keep
your damn feet off.

(walking to the door)

You jokers ready?
Not you baby. You're a queen.
Joe and Caster stand up. Joe slaps Caster on the back.


Fuck! You asshole, that hurts man.
And you call me a bitch?
      (rubbing his
Fuck you, ass.
They all walk out onto the balcony.
The door is locked from outside.
The phone RINGS four times.
The BEEP of the answering machine.
It's a damn shame I missed your
call. I understand that MY time is
valuable. To expedite your call,
please pay close attention. This
menu has changed. For past
girlfriends and sexual history
press one. For legitimate gripes
and concerns press two. For
monetary concerns of which I am
the payee press three. For all
other inquiries...


Fuck off.
      (over phone)
Hello? I'm not sure I have the
correct number but...


This call is for Mark Hunting. Joe
Sullivan, a tenant of mine left
your number as an emergency
contact. The reason I'm calling,
well, I'm trying to locate Mr.
Sullivan. The building where he
rents his apartment has burned
down. Unfortunately nothing can
been salvaged. Please if you're
able, I'd appreciate it if Mr.


                       MAGGIE (cont'd)
Sullivan would get into contact
with me, and you could let him
know that. Have a nice day.
BEEP of the answering machine.
The school is dressed nicley. Around it's doors are banners
and balloons. Swanky dressed guests hover around the
Mark is driving. Sera rides shotgun with Joe in the seat
behind her. Caster next to him. They pull onto the hotel
I'm thinking valet ladies.
I know you're kidding me. In this
Baby, this is a classic.
In that case, definitely valet.
They pull under the hotel awning. Their doors are opened by
swift moving hotel staff.
Mark hands the valet a twenty.
She's my baby. Don't move the
fucking seat or I'll ask for
The valet hops in and drives off.
All four stand abreast and stare at the hotel entrance.
Ten years. You think we'll have
anything to talk about?


Too much.
Nothing we'll want to talk about.
Don't worry. That's why they have
an open bar. Stay away from the
margaritas, those things spell


That means you Joe.
A doorman ushers them in.
Joe at the bar raising his hand to the bartender, people all
around him.
Caster leaning close to a pretty woman.
Joe gulping down a mixed drink.
Mark and Sera talking with another couple.
Joe with a shot and a beer in front of him.
Caster toasting with a different woman.
Joe with another mixed drink in his hand.
Mark and Sera laughing at the bar.
Joe, still alone, finishing off another drink.
                                         FADE TO BLACK
Joe is standing in front of the mirror. A half a glass of
booze on the counter. He takes some water from the sink,
splashes it on his face.


What is your problem?

(he leans closer to the mirror)

She left. She ain't coming back.
Forget about it. Go have a good
Joe leans back, takes his suit coat off and drapes it over
his arm. He uses one hand to straighten his tie, adjust his
You look fine. It's not like
you're at a fashion show or
something. Who are you trying to
look good for anyhow?


What if you see someone important
though? What then? If you don't
look good you'll regret it. I need
a new suit.
Joe takes the coat and puts it back on. Adjusts the fit
while he talks.
What do I need a new suit for?
What do you need a new suit for?
You have a wedding to go to or
Joe laughs out loud.
Maybe a funeral. Yeah. I think a
funeral is more my speed. Maybe
even my funeral? Whatever suits
you I guess. Whatever suits your
He looks down at his drink.
Whatever suits your suit.
Joe takes a drink.


But right now, we're about as far
from a funeral as you can get.
Maybe you just need to shut the
fuck up Joe. Has that thought ever
crossed your mind? Take that and
swirl it around for a second.
Maybe they're all right. Shut the
fuck up and get busy living.
Joe turns the sink on, and again splashes water on his face.
He looks at himself and nods.
Joe walks towards the bar. Before he can make it Mark grabs
him and drags him into a group of people.
Guys. You remember Joe?
Five people stand in a semi-circle around Joe and Mark, two
guys and three women. The guys are in suits, the women all
have cocktail dresses on. They all have name tags. Everybody
Joe, this is Kevin-
Albert, Mona, Jenny, and Megan?
The last woman speaks up.
I'm Albert's wife.
Nice. it's good to see you guys.
Jenny, you lost a lot of weight.
Well thank you Joe. I did, I lost
almost a hundred pounds.
Incredible. It almost looks like
you had a face lift.
SILENCE. All the women look down at the floor.


Thanks. Thanks a lot Joe. You look
great too.
Silence continues.
Well Joe, it was good to see you
man, we're going to go-
That's right. You got it. Mingle.
They all walk off into the crowd. Jenny is the last to
leave. She stares at Joe, then finally leaves.
That was completely inappropriate
man. Seriously egregious.
How so? She lost weight, her face
looks thinner. That's all I'm
Face lift Joe. That's what you
Shit. It looks like she got a face
That's because she did get a face
Fuck. And it's bad to point that
It's probably not the most social
way to put it. Look, you know when
you're shopping with your
girlfriend and she asks you if the
jeans she's trying on make her ass
look big? Even if they do, you say


She should wear a sign around her
neck or something. Yes, I've had a
face lift, please don't mention
it. How am I supposed to know?
Fuck. You just failed the kindness
Are you the authority on the
subject? Mister swinging dick in
the diner. Checking out a nineteen
year old girl.
You had your eyes on her too.
Besides she could have been in her
Caster makes his way to them through the crowd.
Guys, what's up?
Mark and Joe shake their heads.
Captain Obvious and his offending
adventures, that's about it.
Hey, you guys remember Blimpy
Jenny? I saw her. Dude someone
lost some weight. I could be wrong
but, it looks like a face lift to
Did you tell her that?
Fuck no dude, that's rude.
But calling her Blimpy Jenny is


You have much to learn my friend.

(scans the crowd)

Let's hit the bar again. I'm
starting to lose my buzz.
Mark, Joe, and Caster start towards the bar, talking
You guy get your names in for the
What raffle?
They're giving away a free
vacation for two. Guess where?
They get to the bar and sit down.
Caster waves at the Bartender, who comes over.
Three Margarita's.
Guess where?
I don't know. Tell me.
Cancun, Mexico.
That's great. Perfect.
Why is this significant?
Senior trip. Cancun, it's where we
Where Joe and Alison


My man.
Caster raises his hand for a high five. Joe stares at him.
Remember what I said about karma?
It's a sign.
What is?
The fucking Cancun thing man. It's
a sign.
The Bartender comes back with the drinks. They each take one
and have a drink.
I bet these are better in Cancun.
Oh much better.
Fuck man. If I put my name in will
you shut the fuck up?
Maybe. However we can't guarantee
anything. That my friend, would be
Joe walks away shaking his head.
Friends my ass.
Joe, Mark, and Caster are back at the bar. They turn around
as JOHNATHAN(28) gets up on stage and takes the microphone.
If I could get your attention
people. Put the drinks down
Scattered LAUGHTER in the crowd.


First, I'd just like to thank
everybody for making it out.
Yeah. That's right. It's good to
see everybody. For those of you
who don't remember me, which is
probably nobody, I'm John, your
humble and great looking
valedictorian. And yes, I am as
successful as you all thought I'd
be. Kudos to you all for your
Scattered BOOS in the crowd.
Fucking guy.
He's a prick.
A Harvard educated prick.
I'm kidding. Relax people. Okay,
so we're doing a drawing. The

(mock game show host)

a nostalgic trip to the sandy
shores of Cancun, Mexico. Of
course, all inclusive for two

(drawing from a glass

And the winner is Vince Favaru.
Scattered gasps in the crowd.
Caster starts laughing.
What's so funny?


      (to Caster)
You son of a bitch.
Come on up Vince.

(waits a second)

Anyone seen Vince?
                       A VOICE FROM THE CROWD
He's dead.
He's dead? How did his name end

(looks at the container)

Well we'll have to draw again.
Draws from the container again.
And the winner is Joe Sullivan!
Joe's jaw drops. Caster watches Mark. Mark jumps up and
down, goes crazy.
Is Joe alive?
Yeah! Woooo! Karma baby! That's
what I'm talking about, karma!
Joe gets on stage, Johnathan hands him an envelope.
Congrats Joe.
Thanks a lot.
Joe turns to leave the stage then stops.
ALISON JORDAN(28) with a drink in her hand, is smiling up at
him. She has bright eyes and classic features. Her cocktail
dress hugs her curves.


      (into the
Well fuck me.
The APPLAUSE dies down. The crowd, not sure how to react,
falls silent.
Get off stage man. Take the
envelope and get off stage.
Karma! Yeah baby! Karma!
Joe looks back at Jonathon. Jonathon shrugs.
Joe looks back to the crowd, the dress and Alison are gone.
Joe heads back to Mark and Caster, scanning the crowd as he
What did we tell you, you lucky
What's up dude?
I saw her, I saw Alison.
Really? Did she look good?
I told you she wasn't that hot
back then...holy shit.
Caster is staring past Joe, both Joe and Mark turn to meet
Caster's gaze. Alison is walking through the crowd towards
the boys.
I take back every negative comment
I've said about her.
How ya doing Joe?
I just won a trip to Cancun,
pretty damn good right now.


I bet.
Umm, you remember Mark and...
Joe turns to introduce his friends only to see them bolting
to the dance floor.
He turns to Alison.
I do, some things never change
I second that, you did though, I
think you look better now then you
did back then.
No school dress code, thanks
Can I get you a drink?
No actually, I've got a long drive
back. Thanks...again.
So where...
Joe is interrupted by Beth Ross (27) she is pretty if she
works at it.
Alison you'll never believe who
got a facelift.
No I probably wouldn't. Beth you
remember Joe Sullivan don't you?
Joe Sullivan?
She is quiet for a while, trying to place him. She is
muttering to herself.


What's wrong, all that makeup too
heavy for your mouth?
Alison stifles a laugh.
Beth extends her hand which Joe reluctantly takes.
Well I'm sure you two have lots of
catching up to do, but Alison I
have more people you need to see,
nice seeing you again Jeff.
Beth takes Alison's hand and begins to drag her away. Alison
shrugs at Joe as she leaves with Beth.
I'll catch up with you later?
Alison does not respond. She dissapears into the crowd.

Joe watches helplessly, a drink in his hand.
Mark and Caster appear over Joe's sholder.
Just like old times huh Buddy?
Eat me.
You know there's only one way to
get over a rejection.
We're already drinkin'.
I'm not talking 'bout drinking.
I'm talking about our aged old
remedy. Guarenteed to make you
forget your problems and ease your
What the fuck are talking about?
I still know how to get into the
coaches office.


Caster, Mark and Joe are walking down the hallway. Pushing
each other into lockers.
What makes you think they haven't
figured out your trick to get into
the office?
Because nobody but me has the
balls to go the way I know.
How do you get in there?
Trade secrets my son.
Fuck you.
They arrive at the coaches office.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Please. By all means masta Casta.
Caster bows. He promplty turns abd begins down the hall.
Then spins around to face the boys.
No peeking now, fellas. You stay
where you're at.
Just get the fucking ball, you
Ok ok, calm yourself.
Caster turns and heads down the hall. He dissapears around a

Joe and mark exchange a look.
They sprint down the hall stpping at the corner.

Joe peeks around the corner. A door is CLOSING.


Joe motions for Mark to follow. They head to the door.
The door is the entrance to the GILR'S LOCKEROOM.

Joe and Mark exchange a look.

Joe reaches for the door. Just as his nand touches the door
the handle the door flies open.
Caster steps out with a basketball in his hands.
You sneaky little bastards.
You're calling us sneaky bastards
look at you, going through the
girls locker room.
I told you nobody else had the
balls. her door is always unlocked
into the locker room.
You're sick you that?
You little bitches wanna play or
Caster and Joe are at the Valet stand waiting for Mark and
Sera to show.
He said ten minutes. What the
Jesus buddy, what are you, the
fashion police?
Joe gives Caster a "what the fuck?" look.
I don't know man. That's the booze
talking. What can I say?


Joe shakes his head.
The lobby doors open. JAMES(28) comes out. Over his suit he
wears a letterman's jacket covered in patches.
Hey, look who it is.
Joe looks.
Isn't that?
Alison's high school boyfriend.
James hands his ticket to the Valet, he runs off.
      (to Caster)
Watch this.

(speaks louder)

Hey. What the fuck is this guy
wearing? I bet that'll get him a
You guy's say something?
It was more cumulative then
Caster steps towards James and puts his hands on his hips.
Excuse me sir. I am required by
federal law to inform you that you
are in felonious violation of
fashion law THX 1138 section 1971.
We're going to have to take you
down to the station.
Fashion police huh?
Caster and Joe both laugh.


That's pretty funny man. You're a
funny guy. Hey, I bet you became a
comedian right?
Real estate lawyer.
That's too bad. What a waste of
We're kidding man. We've just. Had
a few.
A few?
Yeah, you got a problem with that?
No problem, don't worry about it.
I can see you guys are cool.
Cool? Cool? We're smoking buddy.
You know what? You were always
such an asshole man. I remember
the time this guy threw Mikey G.
in the pool.
Yeah me too. Hey Joe. It's cool
man, don't worry about it.
      (to Caster)
Fuck that.

(to James)

You slashed Miss Nelson's
tires too. Huh? I remember because
everybody talked about it. I
thought it was an asshole move. My
own personal opinion of course.
Joe. That's enough.


      (to Caster)
You wanna back the fuck up?
Caster steps back.
Anything else you fucking punk?
      (moving closer)
I can come up with a few more, but
I don't think I need to.
      (backing down)
No you don't.
That was a long time ago. I'm not
proud of who I was back then. But
I've changed.
Oh really?
Yeah. There's life outside high
school Joe. I don't live in the
Joe is quiet. Caster steps in front of him.
So what is it you do now James?
I work in Hollywood. I'm an agent.
Really? You rep anyone we heard
Really, that's ironic cause my
friend here, the one who tried to
lay you out, is a screenwriter.
Is that so? Who are you repped by?


Umm, don't really have an agent
per say. More struggling than
A silence falls over the threesome.

(he hands Joe a card)

Send my office what you have. I'll
take a look. If I like what I see,
we'll talk again.
You serious?
Like I said, I don't live in the
past. If I remember right you were
a kick ass writer back in the day.
James car pulls up. Before Joe can respond. James is in the
car and gone.
Joe. What the fuck?
Was that manning up enough for
That's not quite what I had in
Next time be more specific.
I didn't say it was bad.
Caster grabs the card from Joe's hand.
But it'll do.
Mark and Sera come out the doors.
Finally. Ten minutes?


Mark hands his ticket to the valet.
Give or take.
Our boy is growing up.
Caster hands Mark the card.
Wait. Wait a minute. James is a
Hollywood agent?
That's right. And he wants to
represent Mark Twain here.
You gotta be shitting me.
Yeah, that was the oddest
conversation of my life. One
minute I'm ready to go blows, the
next I'm being offered a job.
The Nova pulls up.
Should we call an ambulance?
I should be fine, thanks.
Can we go please?
They start piling into the car. The valet holds the door for
      (handing over a
You didn't fucking move the seat
did you? I'll come back here.
Believe me I will, I've done it
Get in the car.
Mark spins the tires as they drive off.


Yabba dabba doo.
The parking lot is empty. The four of them are walking
towards the entrance.
Can't believe this place is still
It couldn't shut down, this is
probably still where everyone goes
after the games.
Mark lights a cigarette as he walks. Sera and Caster stop at
the entrance. Joe is lingering behind.
Mark stops Joe.
Hang with me a sec?
Joe nods.
      (to Sera)
I'll be in a sec, baby.
Make it fast ladies or I'll be
drunk by the time you get in.
Sera and Caster disappear inside.
Isn't he already drunk?
When isn't he?
Very true.
The place is a dive. A small dance floor off to the right
with an ancient jukebox. A pool table next to that, with a
group of women shooting. Pictures of movie stars are all


over the walls, some signed.

The bar itself is nearly empty. An old man with a cowboy hat
is at the bar nursing a glass of Scotch.

Caster and Sera walk in. Sera to the restroom Caster to the
pool table.
Ladies, how may I be of service to
you tonight? Or better yet how may
you service me?
The only servicing I see you doing
tonite is on yourself, stud.
Careful with this one, Beth, he's
a quick one.
Well fuck me, if it isn't
Cinderella herself.
Cinderella, good one. Good to know
somethings never change.
No no no seriously, you are my
freind's Cinderella.
What are you talking about?
My lady if you follow me to the
bar, I would be more than happy to
explain it to you.
Alison looks to Beth who shakes her head, Alison begins to
follow Caster.
That's what I'm talking about.
Alison and Caster sit at the bar, a couple of stools down
from the old man.
The BARTENDER drifts over.


What can I make for you?
Ladies first.
Can I have a whiskey and coke?
I'll stick with a Scotch on the
No problem.
      (taking out a
       credit card)
Will you throw everything on this,
and keep it open for me?
You got it.
Caster turns his attention to Alison who is looking around
the bar.
So what's up Cinderella?
This is gonna be a short
conversations if you keep that up.
Whoah, my bad.
They are quiet for minute.
What did we ever see in this
      (points to the
Look at the walls. John Wayne.
Bogart. Shit, Costner even.
The Bartender sets the drinks on the bar.


The service is excellent. Very
speedy. And they don't check I.D's
Yes, I do.
I rest my case.
Well in that case, no pun
Caster smiles at her through his glass.
And so it goes.
And so what goes?
The story of our lives. Joe is
going to write it all down and
make us famous. You and he, the
The Old Man perks up and begins to listen.
Why would you say that?
There's something you don't know
about Joe, Alison. My good friend
And what is that?
The truth is, he's lost without
Caster sees Sera exit the restroom.
      (under his breath)


Excuse me?
Yes darling, I would never lie to
you. The truth is this: Joe has
been waiting for this since the
day he met you. It is what we in
the human race business call,
Love. At. First. Sight. And this
is no illusion my dear, it is pure
Sera approaches Caster and Alison. Caster rises.
Alison, this is Sera. Sera this is
Joe's Alison. She'll fill ya in.
Caster turns from the bar to the pool table.
The Old Man watches Caster walk to the ladies.
                       OLD MAN
Hey Karl.
The Bartender turns in the Old Man's direction.
                       OLD MAN
      (points over his
       shoulder to
Whatever that young man wants,
it's on me.
You got it hoss.
Sera sits in Caster's seat facing Alison.
You're Alison? Joe's Alison?
I'm not sure exactly. Who are you?
Sera Slade, Mark Hunting's
girlfriend. What did Caster tell


I actually have no idea. Something
about Joe being lost without me?
Oh wow. Umm well as much as I hate
to agree with him, he's kinda
How is that possible? I haven't
seen Joe for ten years.
Well, I'll tell you what I know.
Listen man, I wanted to say
something but I didn't want to say
it in front of Caster.
Ok, shoot.
I know you feel like you missed
your chance with Alison tonight
and I know it's probably fucking
you up inside
Joe begins to interrupt.
Just lemme finish. In a way I
agree with what Caster said the
other night. Not about you being a
loser but that you've let this one
incident shape who you are and
what you're doing with your life.
The door opens a drunk couple stumble out. They are giggling
and talking in Spanish. As they pass Joe and Mark the man
says something to the woman who in turn laughs hysterically.
Mark lets out a laugh as well.
What'd they say?
They say we make a good couple.


Maybe they know something we
Maybe. Anyways, so what I'm trying
to say is maybe somebody or
something is trying to tell you
Listen, I appreciate this, I
really do. But I think I'm done
taking advice.
What do you mean?
I mean I think it's time I get my
ass back in the game. I've waited
long enough...I think it's time.
Really? Well that's my boy, that's
what I'm talking about. What about
What about her? It's like you
said, I had my chance. There are
no second chances right?
Sometimes there is.
Mark and Joe turn and find Alison standing by the door of
the bar.
How long have you been standing
I would guess long enough.
That would be a good guess.
Thought you were leaving tonite.


I thought I was too. Beth
convinced me to stay a day or two.
Way to go Beth.
There is a silence as Joe and Alison lock eyes. Mark is the
third wheel.
Excuse me I think I swallowed a
Mark gives Joe and look then enters the bar.
Met some of your friends inside.
Talked to Caster did ya?
And Sera. Very nice girl, and she
had some..interesting things to
I'm sure she did.
I asked you a question earlier Joe
and now that I think about it, I
don't think you were honest with
I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry Joe, just don't
lie. I asked you how you were,
I do.
Alison waits for her answer.
So how are you?


MMM, what do you think?
I have days I can't eat because my
stomach is in butterflies thinking
about what I would say to you if I
saw you again. Some nights I don't
sleep because I can't get your
face out of my mind. I don't date
much because every girl I go out
with I compare to you and they
don't match up. I don't write as
much as I used to because I always
end up writing a letter to you, I
hate my job but it pays my bills
and just last week I lost my
fucking cat and I think he might
of got lucky with the neighbor cat
and moved in with her. Is that
what you wanna hear?
Was that an honest answer?
I think so, yeah.
Then that's what I wanted to hear.
Do you ever think about us?
What do you think?
No Joe I don't. I gave up thinking
about you a long time ago. Right
around 6 months after...
Don't say it.


You didn't call. No letters.
Nothing. I waited and waited and
I'm sorry.
I am too. Because now, in this
moment, I think of what we could
have been. It makes me sad. But
what makes me mad is how you've
handled the whole situation.
What do you mean?
Why did you wait ten years, why
not just pick up the phone and
call me?
No number I guess.
Don't insult me Joe. You had
options. You were scared.
Yeah, I was scared. I knew I had
fucked up, and I knew what I
wanted to say I couldn't say on
the phone. So I waited, and I
waited. Then I thought I waited
too long and I let it go.
But you didn't?
No I did, I let the situation go,
I never let you go.
Ten years? On a woman?
I never set a date, I never said
that I would fix everything in ten
years. It just went by so quick.
When I got the reunion card I


                       JOE (cont'd)
figured it was time.
So what did you think, we were
just gonna hop on top of a car and
go at it?
Of course not.
Then what?
I don't know. I was thinking maybe
a dance.
I'm sorry I can't do that.
Wow. This is not how I pictured
Not yet anyway. See I might have
broken your heart Joe, but you
broke mine as well. You're not
gonna get off that easy.
What do you mean?
I mean I'm hard to get Joe. If you
want me you have to say it.
It's that easy huh?
It's not gonna be easy Joe, we're
just talking about dancing right
now. It's gonna be a long and
winding road. Are you ready?
I think so.


You think? I'm sorry that's not
good enough. I want more than a
memory, Joe.
Alison turns from Joe and heads towards the door.
Joe hangs his head.
      (to himself)
Alison stops. She turns towards Joe.
Did you say something?
Yeah, I said I'm ready. Is that
enough for you?
Alison sees the determination in his eyes.
Alright. Good. Let's dance.
Caster and the Old Man are at the bar talking, both with
drinks. The Old Man has a fresh glass of Scotch, Caster has
a beer.

Mark and Sera and Joe and Alison are slow dancing near the
pool table.
It's never been about what I want.
It's always been about what
everybody else wants from me.
                       OLD MAN
People who are close to us usually
don't realize the pressure they
put us under. They just want good
things to happen to us.
I know. But sometimes I just want
to say fuck it. I feel like I
could just get on a plane, or a
bus, I could ride a bus, and just
take it to wherever it stops. I'd


                       CASTER (cont'd)
get off there, and start new.
Preferably somewhere with exotic
                       OLD MAN
What do you want to do with
yourself? Besides the exotic women
I've never told anyone.
                       OLD MAN
When you tell somebody, that's
what makes it real.
I don't even think I've ever said
it out loud.
                       OLD MAN
Make it real. Right now.
Caster sits in silence.
The Old Man looks at him.
Not yet. Not yet, Blue. Soon, very
soon, but not now.
The Old Man nods and polishes off his scotch.

Caster spins in his chair to watch the couples. He takes a
swig of his beer. He holds the glass up and studies it. He
Caster is driving, Joe rides shotgun. Sera has her head on
Mark's lap in the back seat, she is asleep.
Careful when you park. The front
end is longer then you think.
That's what she said.


There's that truck from the other
The yellow truck is parked in the same manner as before. The
Blonde Chick is outside, about to get in.
                       BLONDE CHICK
What's up asshole?
They pass her.
You see what happens when you
don't establish a positive first
impression Mark? That's how people
treat you.
I think she thought you were Mark.
What? Fuck that. That's great, the
one hot chick in my complex and
you find a way to make her think
I'm an asshole.
Think? She would have found out
that you are an asshole sooner or
Probably sooner. Rather than
Caster shakes his head.
Fuck it. I'm going to move
What the fuck. Just the other day
you said you were thinking about
hiring a houseman.
Caster pulls the Nova into a spot.
I think I'm headed another


Enlighten us.
I'm going to brew beer. I need to
buy a house so I can brew beer.
Cool. I'll help you drink it.
Fuck it. Do what you love, right?
That's what you keep saying.
I definitely love beer.
Caster, Joe, and Mark get out of the Nova. Mark is careful
not to wake Sera.
Mark hands Caster his bag.
Mark shuts the back door. He gives Caster a hug. Caster
looks over at Joe.
It's still a little too close to
the whole naked thing.
Suit yourself. Later guys.
He heads towards his apartment.
Hey what about that tat you got?
Caster stops. He drops his bag and lifts his shirt. On his
shoulder is a tatooed fetus.
What the fuck is that?
It's a fetus.


Why the fuck would you tattoo a
fetus on your body?
Caster looks back to them and smiles.
When you figure that out, give me
call, but not before. If you do,
no beer.
He pulls his shirt down, grabs his bag and starts walking.
Later you fucking wierdo.
Bye. Asshole.
Caster flips them off over his shoulder as he walks.
Mark pulls the Nova to the curb in front of Joe's apartment
building. He shuts off the car and they both get out,
leaving Sera asleep.
They look up at the remnants of a massive fire. Everything
is black and burnt. Caution tape blocks what was the door.
What the fuck?
This my friend is what we call a
sign. A symbol if you will.
It's not a fucking sign Mark.

(points to a billboard
across the street)

That, is a fucking sign!

(looking back at the

This is my apartment burnt to


                       JOE (cont'd)
That is a valid description, I'm
going to have to give you that.
Sera leans out the window of the Nova.
What happened?
Somebody got hungry for some
goddamn smores and used my house
as fire wood.
Joe gives Mark a "what the fuck" look. Mark shrugs.
What now?
I bend over, that's what now.
I'm kinda hungry.
You thinking eggs?
I'm thinking eggs.
All three stare up at the building.
      (to himself)
Fuckin' Jimmy.
Joe opens his eyes. He has been sleeping on the couch. He
sits up and looks over at Sera and Mark asleep in bed.


Joe is leaning against the railing. He watches the waves
crash on the beach.
Mark opens the door to the loft and comes outside. He hands
Joe a cup of coffee.
I could get used to this.
How'd you sleep?
Like a six foot guy on a five foot
couch. How do you think?
You know, it's really not a big
deal man. You'll find more stuff.
Well, you might be right. But it
doesn't help I'm probably going to
lose my job.
You're a fucking limo driver, who
gives a shit?
I'm a waiter.
That's right. I made the limo
driver thing up, didn't I?
At least I'd have a car if I was a
limo driver.

(takes a drink of coffee)

Don't you ever go to work?
I've got a session I need to go to
Mark takes something from his pocket. He holds a closed fist
out in front of Joe. He opens his fist.


A set of KEYS dangle from his palm.
I know I don't have anything to
do, but if you think I'm going to
wash your car you can go fuck
The only thing I want you to wash
is your mouth. Use soap.

(spins the keys on his finger)

Go on take the keys.
Where am I supposed to go?
I want you to take the keys. I
want you to get in the car. I want
you to drive East. Don't stop
until you get there. Not even for
bathroom breaks.
I can't just go.
What? Do you have to pack?
Fuck you. No seriously, we're
taking it slow.
Fuck slow, full speed ahead.
What are you going to drive?
That's a really trivial thing to
ask. Who gives a fuck. Although,
if you must know, I'll drive
Sera's car.
There is silence.
Joe, take the keys.


We have to do something first.
Joe and Mark walk into the store.
What the hell are we doing here?
You told me to buy a lottery
ticket, remember?
They stand at the counter. Joe in front Mark in the rear.
One ticket please, the five dollar
Just one?
If I'm as lucky as you say I am
I'll only need one right?
That's a good point.
Joe gets the ticket. It's a scratcher. Three separate boxes
to scratch. He scratches off the first one; 10 thousand

He does the next one; 10 thousand dollars.

Joe looks over his shoulder to Mark. Mark nods towards the

Joe begins to scratch the last box.
                                         CUT TO BLACK


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
From Erick Sanchez Date 8/10/2008 **1/2
To be honest I only got as far as page 25. If I took my DVDs of "40 Year Old Virgin","Old School" and "Knocked Up" and put them all in a blender,the result would be "The Last Hello"!

Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2024, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com