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Black Creek
by Kip Bowman Jr. (kipbowmanjr20@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Horror   User Review: ***
A group of late teens to early 20's are driving cross country from east to west coast. But get caught up in texas do to car troubles. And end up getting more then they bargin for. Once they go to the small in texas to get their car fixed they start to disappear one by one in mysterious fashions. The Killer captures and murders people on the will of his mother who deems unpure or not of god. Ones who temp the world with their flesh and well beings. The Mother acts this way cause years ago her husband left her for a younger seductive woman. She later learns on to hate these type of women and have killed.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



A small blue ford is driving down a long narrow dark road.
We now zoom in to the car to the passengers.

The driver a 20 something male, with a bald head,beard &
mustache combo with piercings. While the person sitting in
the passengers seat is a 20 something female, with blonde
hair and pink streaks in it.
Goddamn it WES, do you even know
where the hell your going anymore?
Don't worry babe, I've got it
Okay, you wanna please, tell me
where we're at then?
Well, we've been on this road
awhile, and the highway exit
should becoming up soon.
That still doesn't explain our
location yet though.
You got me, I have no clue where
the hell we're at.
We should just stop and ask for
directions. Everyone else is gonna
wonder about us.


Just where are we going to ask
directions? I haven't seen one car
or business on this road in the
last hour or so.
They pass by a big white sign saying with black letters
saying "next town up 2 miles off the next exit"
How, about we just get off at the
next exit. Go into town ask for
directions then continue on the
All right, fine. While we're
there, we can gas up as well.
Almost out of gas running forever
on this road.
You see the car pull up to a small town. No lights on at all
in of the buildings.
Wow, small town. Do you even think
they have a gas station?
I don't even think they have
running toilets.
The car continues to drive through the empty ghost town.
This place looks like a ghost
town. It's like the town time
You're telling me. Oh, wait look
up there on the right, a gas


They drive up to the gas station. Both of them get out of
the car and look around the place.
Is anyone even here?
Hello! Paying customers, needing
Nothing but silence goes through the pitch black night air.
Maybe we should try knocking?
Hey, it can't hurt any at all to
Wes, walks up to the grey door of the gas station, with the
paint peeling off and knocks on the door loudly. A noise
comes from inside.
I think someone or something's
Wes, knocks on the door yet again. This time only louder
then before.

The noise continues to get louder towards the door now.
Whatever it is it's coming towards
the door so back up.
Kat, backs up behind Wes now.

The door opens and a Semi-tall 50 year old man emerges from
it. Grey hair with a grey stubbly beard dressed in overalls.
                       MR. JACKSON
What the hell do you want?!


We want some service you mean old
                       MR. JACKSON
Well, since you asked so nicely,
now what can I do for you klds?
Sorry for my boyfriends's
behavior. We've been on the same
road for hours lost.
                       MR. JACKSON
It's directions you be needing?
Not many people stop in this area,
It's a almost hidden. Only way you
find this if you go way off the
You hear that way off the map.
Good job there. So yeah we just
need to get onto the highway.
                       MR. JACKSON
Is that all you need?
We also need gas. Do these pumps
even work anymore?
                       MR. JACKSON
They work as fine as the day they
were installed.
In that case fill it up gramps.
                       MR. JACKSON
Did I forget to mention that with
every gas purchase, you get free


                       MR. JACKSON
Yes, freshly grown on the apple
tree out in the backyard. So you
wanna go pick the apples while, I
fill up your car? Then give you
the directions.
I don't know If I want some nasty
ass apples.
Well, think of it this way. If we
get side tracked by another one of
your detours, we're have something
to eat then.
But, only cause I love you so
                       MR. JACKSON
Okay, you two just go around the
The couple goes behind the building like the old man said.
They see the huge tree the old man mentioned before.

They now hear twigs and branches snapping on the ground.
Someone else is among them now in the dark.
What the hell was that?
The branches and twigs continue to make more noise.
Let's just get the damn apples and
Fine you stand there and I'll get


Kat, now walks behind the tree to gather the apples.

5 minutes later and KAT, hasn't come back yet.
Babe! Move your sweet ass. We
gotta get going. Kat!
Wes, moves behind the big tree now. But, Kat, isn't there
anymore now.
This isn't the time to be messing
Wes, now notices someone looking into a window of a small
shed like building. Wes, walks towards the shed now.

Wes, puts his hand on her shoulder to turn them around.
Did you hear me?
Now you see that once Kat, is turned around her throat is
slit and shes gagging with blood coming from her mouth
trying to speak. Wes, has a shocked look on his face.
What the fuck?
Wes, turns around to a mysterious figure now only to have a
machete gut him. Guts and intestines come out his body and
Wes, falls over dead.

The Mysterious person just stands there to admire his work.

Cut to blackout of the screen.

Fade in - Title Name appears
                                         CUT TO:


You see a bunch of 20 something's, sitting at a table at a
restaurant. Eating their food, discussing plans for the next
few days.

On the one side you see a bunch of females.1 with Long
Blonde Hair and Blue Eyes,1 With long Blonde Brownish Hair
and Brown Eyes, 1 with Long Black Hair and Brown Eyes and 1
with Shoulder Length Brown Hair and Green Eyes.

And on the other side you see a bunch of males. 1 with Short
Brown Hair, Blue Eyes and has Stubble, 1 with Short Blonde
Hair, Green Eyes and clean shaven, 1 with Semi-Long Brownish
Blonde Hair, Brown Eyes and Side Burns. And 1 with Short
Spiky Black Hair, Brown Eyes and Goatee.
We should be about 5 miles from
the Texas border, So if we hurry
we can make it before midnight.
Why you in such a hurry? We've got
all summer.
I just wanted to get to a hotel.
It's been a long day of driving.
Why don't you just take a nap, and
just let one of drive while you
You know what? I don't care, But
you mess up my car I'll kill you
brother or not.
Oh, stop being such a puss, It's
just a car.


You know how much this thing cost
Yes we've all heard the story.
So please spare us, and just go to
sleep then.
Okay, enough from the peanut
gallery. Is everyone finished so
we can get going?
All of the people agree upon that and get up and walk
towards the Humvee, They open the doors and get into it.
Marcus, asleep in the passenger seat while Erik's driving
the Humvee. Gina,Davis,Ali sitting behind them and in the
back Jasmine,Grady and Rachel.
ERIK can you do something about
the heat? I'm melting like a ice
cream in the hot Texas sun.
Erik looks over at Marcus still asleep, in the passenger
But speaking of Texas we just
crossed the state border.
Cut outside to the Humvee going by the Texas state line

Cut back into the Humvee again.


Marcus, still asleep the gang talks about where there gonna
stop to stay.
So, should we stop at the first
hotel we see? Then leave early in
the morning?
All I know, it better have a pool.
Fine but I'm not gonna drive all
night to find that place. First
one I see I'm stopping. I don't
wanna hear any complaining.
                                         CUT TO:
The Humvee is driving along the road in the Texas night, The
gang spots a hotel up ahead. They pull off the road and into
the parking lot now.

Erik, turns the key and the engine now goes off.
I'll go get the rooms. 2 of them
should be enough. One for the
girls and one for the guys.
Erik, gets out the Humvee, he slams the door loudly on
purpose waking up Marcus in a shocked state. With him
looking all around.
Where are we at?
Marcus yawns and stretches his arms out.
We decided to stop at a hotel for
the night.


How long was I out?
I don't know a good while. We
passed the Texas border before.
We're in a little town with the
population of like 500 or so.
Shit, we have officially reached
no man's land.
I don't like this. Small towns
really creep me out.
We're not even gonna be here for
that long. So what's it even
There's a knock at the passengers side window It's Erik.
Marcus, rolls down the window now.
You girls are in luck. They've got
a pool plus a gym also.
Thank god! Let me out of this
thing. I gotta cool off I'm
sweating so damn much in this.
Ali, pushes and climbs her way out getting out the door
behind the passengers side.
God, you could have asked. You
almost broke my hand by stepping
on it.


I got the rooms for us. One for
the guys, one for the ladies. So
everyone pile out and go do what
you want.
All of them get out the Humvee and they get their stuff and
go to their hotel rooms. Erik gives the key to Gina for the
girls room.
Everyone in a bathing suit either swimming in the pool or
laying pool side in a chair.

Ali in a Blue bikini,Rachel in a Red bikini,Jasmine in a
Black bikini. Davis in Dark Blue board shorts,Grady in Gold
board shorts,Erik in Green board shorts all in the pool.

While Marcus in a Black Wife beater and Grey shorts and Gina
in a Pink bikini top and Blue shorts over her Pink bikini
bottoms. While sitting on chairs by the pool watching the
others swimming and playing.
I really wanna thank you for
inviting me on this little summer
get away.
Sure no problem. I know what you
mean it's been a hell of a year at
I'm glad we have these few months
off. If I had to take anymore, I
think I lose my mind. Due to all
the stress as of late recently.
A little time off could do the
mind good.Why aren't you in the
pool with the rest of them?


It goes back to a childhood thing,
and me almost drowning in a pool.
So now I'm too scared to swim.
So, you're never gonna try it
again ever?
I don't know. It put so much
trauma on me before. I don't think
I could handle it all over again
in my life.
All right fair enough then.
So, why aren't you swimming?
It's a hard story for me to tell.
Are you sure you want to hear it?
I wanna hear it. I'm not going
I seen a girl drown once when I
was younger.
Oh, my god! What did you do?
I. I didn't do anything. I was
stood froze in fear and shock of
what I was viewing. I've had
nightmares from it for years.
I can't imagine seeing that, and
doing nothing about it.


A splash of water from the pool hits Marcus and Gina.
Is he telling you the old drowning
girl story? He tells it to anyone
who'll listens.
You asshole! What the hell's wrong
with you!
Oh, the poor baby. Did the baby
get a little wet?
You know what fuck you! I'm going
up to the hotel room now.
Oh the poor baby. Did the little
baby get a little wet?
Marcus gets up from his chair and goes up the stairs to his
hotel room.
Oh, come on! Don't be like that.
You know I love you. We all love
Everyone looks at Erik, what he said and done.

Everyone in the pool continues to splash and play around.
While Gina gets up off her chair and goes up the stairs to
her room then.
                                         CUT TO:
the next morning. Outside the hotel rooms. The Gang is
getting ready to leave. Gathering their things together.


Everyone get your Crap, so you
don't forget it all right.
Yes mother.
Stop being such a brat.
Ha,ha you know you love it babe.
Erik grabs Ali closer to him and kisses her.
Ugh enough it's like you two are
dogs in heat.
Did you just call me a bitch?
Hey learn to take it as a
But whenever is it a good thing
being called a bitch?
I don't know, I'm just
Enough everyone let's just get
Everyone gathers their stuff. Go down the stairs and they
put their stuff into the Humvee. And then get inside as

Marcus gets in the Driver's seat while Erik sits in the
passengers seat.

2 Hours Later.


                                         CUT TO:
Wow, Texas, isn't what I expected
it to be.
Why, what you expect it to be?
I don't know. I just thought it
wouldn't be so plain looking. I
mean where are all the cows at?
Well, Texas, is a big state. I'm
sure were see some eventually
later on. By the way what's with
the cows? Is that how you pass
time cow counting?
I don't know I'm just freaking
bored back here.
You've got a bunch of girls back
there entertain yourself somehow.
They drive by a sign that says "Black Creek 2 miles up off
the road on the left"
Black Creek? Boy, that really
sounds like a shit hole, If I ever
of one.
We're driving cross country. So of
course we're gonna come across
tons of tiny towns.


Yeah, middle America, you gotta
love it.
Right now middle America is
better, then sitting around all
summer doing nothing.
The Humvee now all of a sudden makes a loud noise.
What was that?
I don't know? Did you run over
I don't think I did. But perhaps
It was a small animal I ran over.
The Humvee makes the loud noise again.
Okay, that definitely wasn't an
animal I ran over. Did you screw
up the car ERIK, while I was
I didn't do a damn thing, just
drive it. Ask anyone else here
about it.
They all agree he didn't do nothing to it.
Well, something had to hell
The Humvee starts to sputter and finally stops and comes to
a halt.
No! This isn't happening!


Just great, stuck in the middle of
Nice driving there bro.
Shut up, you're not helping any.
Oh, how sweet, your little
girlfriend is sticking up for you.
Oh, just stop it will ya?! It's
been like this for ever since.
What did I do to you growing up?
That's exactly what you did.
I'd admit to what I did If I ever
knew what it was.
Nothing! You did nothing for me
growing up! Almost everything was
given to you by mom and dad!
We don't have time for this shit!
We need to check the car.
Both Marcus, and Erik, get out the Humvee.
Marcus, pops the hood and they look under the hood at the

The Others hear the brothers talking and swearing.


Goddamn it! What the hell happen?!
I don't know why your bitching at
me! I didn't break your piece of
shit car!
Then just who the hell did?
Maybe someone back at the hotel
overnight fucked with it, while we
were sleeping.
I, would have never stopped at the
hotel in the first place.
Oh, hear we go on how you're
fucking Mr. Perfect. Never made a
mistake in his whole goddamn
perfect life.
Please, not now with this shit.
We, need to get to a gas station
or something.
Grady, now gets out the humvee.
A busted Fan belt.
A fan belt? Those things just
don't break, while you're driving
on the road.
I think someone back at the hotel
messed with it while we were


So what the hell are we gonna do?
Well, as I see it we have two
options. One either wait here with
the car, and hopefully see another
car come by. Or walk to the next
town, which should be up ahead on
the left. The sign back there said
we're not far away.
Well, since we haven't seen jack
squat, I'd go with option number
two that is.
We gotta go tell the others what's
going on here, and what we're
gonna do.
Marcus, closes the hood of the humvee and him, and the other
two guys walk over to the others.
What's wrong with it? Can it be
Yeah, it can be fixed but not
here. We're gonna need to get to a
gas station or something to fix
Why not just call someone for a
Well, just tell me where one is
and I will then.
So we're screwed then huh?


Not really, we're gonna walk to
the next town.
Walk to the next town? Who's dumb
idea was that?
Um, that happen to be mine.
Actually, that's not that bad of a
Of course you wouldn't.
Well, we can wait here all night
with our thumbs up our asse's
waiting, or we can do something.
The next town can't be that far
way. A half mile if that to the
next town.
Wait, is that the town we said was
a shit hole? Black Creek?
Don't you mean shit creek? As in
we're up shit creek without a
Can't you take any thing serious?
Oh, sorry for trying to lighten
the mood


The mood doesn't need to be
lighten. What we need is too get
to that so called "shit hole" as
you called it and get some help
for us.
I'm not walking to any town.
Neither am I. This is suppose to
be a vacation, not the New York
Fine, you can stay back here.
Anyone else want to stay? You can
wait to see if anyone else comes
by and ask them for help. If so,
just phone us If you do.
I'll stay with the girls incase,
they need any protection from
anyone that try to mess with them.
Whoa, easy there RAMBO. I think
I'm gonna stay to make sure you
don't do to much protecting.
Anyone else staying?
No, that's okay.
So Me,Gina,Grady and Davis, will
take a walk into that town for
help then.
Gina, gets out the Humvee as does Davis. And Erik, gets back
into the Humvee.


Remember what I told you before.
Yes, Blah,blah,blah we heard.
Marcus,Gina,Grady and Davis, start to walk up the road to
get to the town on the left. They continue to talk as they
      (To Gina)
So why did you decide to come
along with us, instead of staying
back there?
Cause I feel closer to the guys,
then I do the girls.
You grew up with a bunch of older
brothers didn't you?
Guilty as charged. Is it that
obvious to tell?
That's kinda like me, except I,
have all older sisters.
But what about...
... Erik? He's a adoptive brother.
My parents adopted him years ago.
They did so after his parents
died, who were friends of the
So is that why he kinda hates you?


He thought they put more
importance on me since I was their
real son while he was adopted. And
not feeling truly apart of the
family. But that wasn't the case
at all.
It must have been hard on him,
losing both of his parents like
Yeah, I always tried to make him
feel like my real brother. Since I
really never had one.
You two aren't gonna be all mushy
gushy the whole way are you?
Marcus, and Gina, just look at Davis, weirdly.
Davis, chuckles and laughs.

The group continues to keep walking up the road, until they
go left onto the road to the next town.

15 minutes later on they find themselves at the start of the
It's a empty town with buildings, but no one is around.
This place won't be winning any
best towns awards anytime soon.
Is there... even anybody here?


Looks like nobody's been here in
Maybe we, should just go back to
the others and wait since this is
a total blackout.
We, came all this way we should
try. I mean there has to be
someone here or there wouldn't be
a sign there on the main road.
Fine, but if we can't find any
help at all we're going back.
They continue walking looking at the various empty dirty
stores of the town..
Is that a gas station up there I
Yeah I think it is.
They continue to walk towards the station.
Now, let's hope they have what we
Once they get to the station Marcus, knocks on the front
door of the gas station.

You start to hear someone walk towards the screen door. It's
a old man about 50 years old White hair with grey stubble.
Hey, sorry to bother you mister.
But do you think you can help us


                       MR. JACKSON
What seems to be the problem?
Well, back on the main road
something happen to our car. And
we we're wondering if you had a
tow truck to help us out. The fan
belt seems to have broken on us in
a weird way.
                       MR. JACKSON
Yeah, I do. But he's not here
right now.
Where is he, out on business?
                       MR. JACKSON
No, actually he's still at home.
But I can call him up and go get
your car.
Oh, that be a big thanks if you
We've got other friends waiting in
the car yet.
                       MR. JACKSON
So, where ever they are just tell
me, and I'll call my guy up and
tell him.
It's about a half mile off the
main road, before you turn off to
get to your lovely town here.
                       MR. JACKSON
I'll go contact my guy and tell
him to go get it for you.


What are we gonna do till then?
                       MR. JACKSON
If you're hungry there's a diner
in town, if you want to get a bite
to eat.
I could sit down for a while. This
Texas heat is starting to get to
I could go for a drink right about
I, mean why not. We've got a while
to go. Mister, where is this diner
                       MR. JACKSON
You, can go around the corner that
the station is on, and you'll see
it. A big sign that says "Lewis
Is Lewis, the owner of the diner?
                       MR. JACKSON
Yes, it is, and it's Mrs. Lewis.
Left to her by her husband who
passed away.
Yeah, we,re gonna get going now.
So that you can call that guy up.
Then he can go and bring it here.
Mr. Jackson, opens up the screen door and goes back inside.

The Four of them walk around the corner, They, walk down the
street and now see the tiny diner. They, now enter through
the door and bell rings.


                                         CUT TO:
A 40 some year old woman is standing there. She has brown
curly hair dressed in a classic old style waitress uniform.
                       MRS. LEWIS
How many in your party today?
Only 4 people today please.
                       MRS. LEWIS
All right, follow me to your seats
The four of them follow the women to a booth in the corner.
Marcus, and Gina, sit in the one side while Grady, and
Davis, sit in the other side.
Thank you.
                       MRS. LEWIS
No problem, at all. We don't get
much company out this way anymore.
Ever since they built that ramp a
few miles up the road, that leads
to all those fancy doggone
So. you say there's a bigger city
with more stores a few miles up?
                       MRS. LEWIS
      (kinda hasty)
Yes there is. Almost the death of
He looks at her weirdly.


                       MRS. LEWIS
Yes. us the town people. Most
either packed up their stuff and
moved to the bigger stores or just
closed down their business. But
enough of that. What can I. get
you kids now?
Oh, can we just something to drink
                       MRS. LEWIS
Would you like something also?
No, just 4 soda's that's all.
Not to bring up a sore topic, But
how many people are left living in
your delightful little town yet?
                       MRS. LEWIS
I don't know last time I checked,
knew it was about 15, they go and
leave all the time.
Mrs. Lewis, looks at Gina, and what she's wearing.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Young lady, do you think that's
the right clothing to be wearing?
I mean I can see your flesh
underneath your clothe yet.
It's hot out here, I'm wearing
this so I don't get heat stroke.
                       MRS. LEWIS
But, still that's no reason to
temp the world, with your flesh.
Enough sins already.


Were just have to agree, to
disagree I guess.
                       MRS. LEWIS
I suppose then....I'll Be back,
with your drinks then.
Mrs. Lewis, now walks away back to the kitchen.
Of all he bible, thumping city's
to enter into. We get the one with
the crazy Jesus, lady.
Well, you're bound to run into
these type of people here down, in
the south.
I hope this whole town isn't crazy
like that.
Let's hope so.
Mrs. Lewis, comes back to the booth now, with the soda's for
                       MRS. LEWIS
Here you go, drinks for everyone.
Let me know if you need anything
Mrs. Lewis, gives Gina, a dirty look before walking away,
back to the kitchen area.
You better watch your back, since
showing part of your shoulder is a


I'll keep that in mind.
I don't know about anyone else,
but I, gonna piss.
That's way too much information
Wanna hold it for me?
Get the hell out of here!
Davis, gets out the booth and goes to look for the bathroom.
What a putz.
The three of them now laugh together.
I'm gonna call the others, to let
them know the tow truck is coming.
Gina, takes out her phone from her purse. She dials up Ali's
number, and waits for the response.
Ali, takes out her phone from her pocket, and answers it.
      (Through Phone)
Hi, it's me, Gina.


      (To Everyone)
Hey, it's Gina, and the others. So
did you find something for help?
      (Through Phone)
Yeah, we found a little gas
station. The owner sent a tow
truck for you guys then.
She said a tow truck is coming.
Thank god!
Where you calling from? The
      (Through Phone)
No, I'm at some diner, ran by some
Jesus, crazed lady.
What do you mean, Jesus, crazed?
      (Through Phone)
She went on some pyscho tirade,
about what I, was wearing, and
wearing clothe that show your
flesh, is tempting, and a sin.
She sounds like one looney, crazy
bitch. What you do about it?
      (Through Phone)
I didn't do nothing. Not wanting
to start something.


You should have. I would have.
      (Through Phone)
I'm gonna go, and I'll see you
later then.
Yeah, all right see ya bye.
Both Gina, and Ali, hang up their phones, and put them away.
So how long before it arrives?
I don't know, she just said it be
Hope it don't take too long, I'm
Well, I can think of something to
Erik, smiles a big grin at the girls.
                                         CUT TO:
Enter Back At The Diner.
So, what are they doing?
Hopefully, not messing up my car.


There just sitting waiting, and
your car sends its's regards.
You're not getting an attitude on
me are you?
You know it. I'm the queen bee of
this hive.
All of a sudden a piece of paper hits the table. It's Davis,
who threw down the paper.
Check out this shit!
What the hell you on now?
Marcus, grabs the paper, and reads it out loud.
"Local town of Black Creek, sees
it's share of horror. 10-15 people
found in a house, mutilated beyond
belief. It was a local called
Mason London AKA "Mason the
Mutilator". He was never found or
heard of again"
No fucking way! How long ago did
this happen?
It wasn't that long ago. Only like
5 years ago.
So, that explains why this town is


Maybe, but, I gotta call bullshit
on this though. I mean why would
it be in a bathroom of a ghost
town diner? Probably someone
screwing around, trying to scare
But, still it's got to have some
truth to it.
Why don't you ask Gina's gal pal
over there?
Davis, points over to where Mrs. Lewis, is standing.
Oh, hell no! I'm not talking to
that crazy loon.
You don't have to talk to her. One
of us will do that. If you guys
wanna know what really happen
Marcus, puts up his hand to wave over Mrs. Lewis. Mrs.
Lewis, sees this and comes walking over to the booth.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Yes, what else do you folks need?
Yeah, we we,re wondering about
this, and if there's any truth to
Marcus, shows to the paper to Mrs. Lewis.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Oh, that silly little thing.
That's just a local urban legend.
There's nothing to worry about.


Yes, but, all urban legends are
all based on some truth.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Well, I don't know what to say.
I've never seen anything of it,
And I've lived here all my life.
It's just a story to scare the
All right, thank you. See I told
you, it was just something made up
to scare people.
                       MRS. LEWIS
But, just cause it hasn't happen
doesn't mean it won't still.
What the hell's that suppose to
                       MRS. LEWIS
Oh, sweetie, that's nothing but
some southern humour.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Since when are threats humorous?
                       MRS. LEWIS
Just forget it honey, it was a
dumb joke.
Mrs. Lewis, walks away now, from the booth to the kitchen
Just what in the hell, is going on
with this backwards ass town?
I think it's the result of too
much, cousin fucking.


Ugh, don't be so gross, will ya,
Let's just forget that stupid
thing and relax. Then go walk
around and hopefully, then the tow
truck, will be back with then.
Mrs. Lewis, walks over to the booth, and gives the check to
them, then turns around and leaves.

10 to 15 minutes later.
Well, we better pay this, and get
Marcus, grabs the check with them and Gina, getting out the
one side while Grady, and Davis, get out the other side.
Walking towards the register now.
I'll pay, and everyone else go
wait outside the diner.
Gina,Grady, and Davis, leave through the door exiting the

Marcus, goes up to Mrs. Lewis, to pay the bill.
Here you go.
Mrs. Lewis, takes the bill now.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Thank you, very much. Enjoy the
rest of your day then.
A evil look comes across her face now.
Yeah.... Okay, I will.
Marcus, now leaves through the door, to the outside.


That woman say anything else?
She just said to enjoy the rest of
the day, with this evil,creepy
look on her face. It kinda freaked
me out.
Fucking loon.
Let's see what other crazy ass
people live in this place, shall
The group starts to walk down the street surrounded by
buildings. But their dirty, and not washed in a really long
Of all the goddamn luck, we get
stuck in this unholy town.
There has to be something here, to
do... I think.
They continue to still keep walking through the town.
You guys wanna split up into
groups, and then look around the
town? If either of us finds
something, we can call one
Sure, why not? Give them some time
Grady, laughs and lightly elbows Marcus, and winking.


Come on, what's the worst that
could happen? You get sunburned.
Gina, turns her head and looks at Marcus.
Just meet back at the gas station,
in a couple hours then.
Marcus, turns his head and looks at Gina, and smiles.

The group comes to a 4 way road. The group of Marcus, and
Gina, goes left and the group of Davis, and Grady, go right.
Hey... Don't do anything, I
wouldn't do.
Grady, winks at Marcus, after his comment.

Davis, and Grady, continue to walk their way as Marcus, and
Gina, go their own way.
I sure hope, the rest are doing
I'm sure they have nothing to
worry about.
                                         CUT TO:
Erik,Aki, Jasmine and Rachel are all sitting inside the
When the hell's this damn tow
truck gonna arrive?
God, yeah I'm so bored.


Settle down, it'll be here soon.
So, what do you think. Is Gina,
all over my brother or not yet?
Gina's not that type at all. She's
the shy type, who keeps to
She seems like the perfect match
for him. He acts the same exact
way, sometimes.
If I knew it was gonna be like
this, I'd have gone home.
Yeah, if I wanted this kind of
heat, I stay at home in my sauna.
You two be quiet, you're getting
on my damn nerves.
Jasmine, scoffs then Rachel, scoffs they look away from Ali.
I think I'm gonna step outside,
and take a piss, and get away
from, all the hormones.
Good, I wanna talk to you about
something, outside then.
Erik, opens the door with Him, and Ali, getting out.
Erik and Ali are now having a conversation.


What the hell's with you, of late?
Are you trying to impress the,
BARBI bimbo's?
Can we not do this right now? I
still have to piss first, if you
Ali, sighs in disgust.

Erik, walks a bit away behind something . He unzips his fly,
and begins to urinate. Then as he's done he zips it up, and
walks back over.
Okay, now what did you wanna say
to me?
The way you've been acting as of
I don't know, how have I've been
Tell me this, did you just come
along to piss off your brother?
No, I was invited by Grady. Just
pissing off my brother, is a added
Grow up will ya, and take some
control, of your life.
      (Child Like Voice)
I'm sorry.


Ugh, how do I ever deal with you?
Because you know, you love it, and
All of a sudden you see the Humvee pull away. The tow truck
came, and they were so into their conversation' and they
didn't notice' and now it's going away.
Damn it, now look what you did.
Made us miss the tow.
Big deal, so we gotta walk a mile
or so, to the next town where the
rest are.
Well, let's get walking then.
Erik, and Ali, now walk the same way, the others previously
did before.
                                         CUT TO:
Later on in the day back at the town. You see Grady, and
Davis, walking around.
So, what do you think of this trip
so far?
Well, it was going good up until
this happen.


So, what do you think of the Barbi
Davis, laughs at what Grady, said.
You mean, Rachel, and Jasmine? I
can't even remember who invited
I think they're friends of Erik.
I'd nail them, I'll say that.
You'd "nail" anything in a dress,
that talks to you that is.
Whatever. What about Gina? Mmm.
Man, she's not even into you. I
mean why do you even think, she
choose Marcus, to go with?
Hey, I'm just saying, she's been
giving me these looks, sometimes.
Just give it up man, and focus on
more easier targets. Like who I
mentioned before.
The two guys continue to keep walking until, they see a
saloon up ahead.
Oh, wow, look a bar. Wanna go in
for a few beers then?


Sure. maybe there are some girls
in there.
They are standing infront of the bar now.

It's a old time saloon looking place. Grady, and Davis, open
the swing doors going, into the place now.
The place is empty no one around, just seats and tables.

It looks like it hasn't been cleaned, in some amount of
Geez what a dump!
Maybe there's some booze behind
the counter, that's still
drinkable yet perhaps.
Davis, goes behind the counter, and looks behind it for
booze while Grady, stands on the other side of the counter
You find anything?
Davis, continues to search for something. After awhile he
finds a bottle of whiskey.
This should be good enough.
Davis, raises up the bottle of whiskey to show to Grady.
It'll do for now, I, guess.
Davis, pops the top on the bottle, and takes a swig, and
gives it to Grady, and he takes a drink as well also.


Let's go drink this bottle out,
and sit down over there.
Grady, points to the, table and chairs. Both Grady, and
Davis, site down then.
                                         CUT TO:
Erik, and Ali, are now walking into the town now.
It's exactly, what I thought it
be. A dump.
Let's not judge so quickly.
They see the gas station up ahead.
Look up ahead, it's the gas
station. Must be the one they went
Erik, and Ali, keep on walking until, they see the Humvee
now parked at the station.
I think, I see the Humvee there.
Let's go check, and see if Rachel,
and Jasmine, are there.
I'm gonna give that jerk-off tow
driver a piece of my mind, for
leaving without us.
Don't be a asshole, and go
starting something.


Erik, and Ali, finally get up to the gas station. They walk
up to the Humvee, and look into it. There's no one to be
seen inside the Humvee.
Okay, just where the hell are
they, if they're not with the
A voice now comes out of nowhere. It's Mr. Jackson, speaking
hidden away.
                       MR. JACKSON
You looking for two pretty girls?
Who were with this car?
Who are you? And where are my
friends at?
                       MR. JACKSON
I'm Mr. Jackson, and I own this
here gas station. There in town
walking around, looking for your
other friends.
You know where they went to?
                       MR. JACKSON
No, they just got out and left.
All right, thanks then. We,re
gonna go look for them then.
                       MR. JACKSON
Hope you find your friends. Hate
to see something bad happen to
Erik, and Ali, walk away from the gas station, to look for
all of their friends.


What the hell was that old freak
That guy looks like the creepy old
guy who lives down the street from
you, and whether you don't know it
he's a molester or not.
      (Looks at Ali
What the fuck you talking about?
Who said anything about molesting?
It's just a stupid thing. The look
on your face was priceless.
Erik, rolls his eyes at her, and laughs.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus, and Gina, are walking, and talking in another part
of the town.
Hell of a trip so far huh?
Yeah, it's been pretty nice so
far. My only complaint would be
Jasmine, and Rachel.
Their getting on your nerves huh?
Beyond all belief.


Erik, invited them not me. Not
much I can do about that.
Marcus, and Gina, keep walking, they see somebody in the
distance walking.
Is that some of the town's folk,
up there?
There's two of them, I think.
They keep walking until, they see it's Erik, and Ali,
walking towards them.
From down at the end of the road.
Hello! Marcus!
Both groups seem to get closer, and they realize it's each
other, and finally meet up.
Where are Rachel, and Jasmine, at?
I don't know, I thought they were
with you. Since you stayed back
with them.
No, me and Erik, were outside, and
then the tow truck left, without
us knowing it. No, warning at all.
That's strange.


Yeah, so we had to walk, all the
way here.
So, I don't see Grady, or Davis.
Where'd they go?
They're somewhere in town. We
split up, to look around more.
How long ago, was that?
I don't know 30 minutes ago or so.
They're somewhere I'm sure. Most
likely in a bar.
So find a bar, and we're find
Grady, and Davis?
Yeah, those two are always
What a pain in the ass, to have,
and look for those four.
Shouldn't be that hard. They
should have their cell phones on
Okay, so we're go look for
Jasmine, and Rachel. While you go,
and look for Grady, and Davis.
The sooner we get out of here, the
better. So let's go get everyone,
and leave.


They leave into two groups, to look for their friends.
                                         CUT TO:
Davis, and Grady, are still sitting down drinking the
whiskey, they found behind the counter before.
I don't know about you, but, I
gotta go take a piss.
I doubt the bathrooms even work,
this place is so old.
Fine, I'll go outside, and do it.
Davis, gets up from his seat, and goes towards the doors,
and exits them.
Davis, goes behind the back of the saloon. He stands there
unbuckling his belt, and unzips his zipper.

He now begins to urinate, and makes a sighing noise, as he
does so.

Davis, now hears something, behind him.
Hello? Who's back there is that,
you Grady?
Davis, looks back to see nothing, and turns around to
continue urinating. He zips up his zipper, and buckles his

Davis, turns around, and is knocked out with a giant rubber
mallet. The person is dressed in all black. The person now
drags Davis's unconscious body away.


25 minutes now pass by now while Grady, waits.

Grady, now gets up, and checks outside.
Davis! What are you doing man?
You hear nothing, but silence in the air. Grady, once again
tries calling for his friend.
Davis come on out! Stop fucking
around on me!
Nothing again, but silence is heard.

A hand all of a sudden touches Grady's shoulder. He slowly
turns around to took, and see who it is. Once turned around
it's Marcus, and Gina.
Jesus Christ! You scared the hell
outta me. Don't you ever do that
You scare too easy. So were's your
partner in crime at?
I don't know. We we're in the
saloon drinking, and he had to use
the bathroom. So he came out here
to use it. And now he's gone.
That's weird, I spoke with Erik,
and Ali, before.
On the phone?
No, there in town now. They missed
the tow truck, and walked into
town. They said they couldn't find


                       MARCUS (cont'd)
either Jasmine, or Rachel.
Okay just what the hell is going
on, here in this creepy ass town.
I mean three people are missing.
We, don't know that yet. Perhaps
they're walking around somewhere
in town. Let's not jump to
conclusions about things.
Hey, I got a idea Maybe it was
Mason, the mutilator that got
Marcus, laughs and chuckles.
You don't think, maybe it was?
Are you as dumb, as you are to
scare? Don't actually tell me you
believe that's what happen.
I'm just saying, it's a
You know what I think, is a
possibility? That you've had way
too much to drink today.
I gotta agree with you, on this
one. I'm sure Davis, is fine, and
just playing a trick on you,
that's all. It is nothing more,
nothing less.
                                         CUT TO:


Davis, wakes up in a dirty filthy disgusting room. There
looks to be what looks like, two people in the room

He get's up out of the corner, he was in. He walks over, and
sees it's Jasmine, and Rachel.
Hey! Wake up, where are we?
No response from either of them.
Come on, we,re really in the shit
Still nothing from either of them.
I said come on! Wake up!
Davis, shakes both of them. They Just fall to the sides now,
not moving at all.
Holy shit!
Davis, takes both of their pulses. No pulses at all.
They're fucking dead!
Davis, is scared out of his mind, and what to do.
Oh, my god! Oh shit! What the hell
is going on? I. I gotta get out of
whereever I am. It's still in the
town I'm guessing.
Davis, gets up off the ground, and to his feet. He walks
over to the door to see if it's open.


To Davis's luck the door opens. He opens the door, and walks
out into the hallway.
It's dirty and filthy just like in the room before.

Davis, begins to walk the hallway, as the floor squeaks,
there's nothing on the walls of the hallways, except the
dark colored paint on them.

Davis, continues walking, floor boards squeaking. There
sounds like rats running through the walls, all through the
house. The rats scare the hell out Davis.
Calm down, it's nothing. It's just
rats, running in the walls. That's
all it is.
Davis, keeps walking, he sees a door ahead, with light
coming from underneath it. He finally get's up to the door,
he puts his hand on the knob, and turns the door open.
Thank god!
As Davis, opens the door he gets a an ax right in his head,
from the mysterious man who kidnapped him. Davis, and his
lifeless body fall to the ground now.
The killer now takes the ax, from the head of Davis. Blood
runs out his mouth, and the top of his head where he was
struck. The killer just stands over Davis, and admires it.

A Woman is heard from within the dark now.
Good job my son. Him, and those
dirty whores needed to be taught a
lesson. But, we still got alot to
do. 5 more of them are still
alive, and breathing.


The son doesn't say anything and just nods at what the
mother says to him.
Go! Now, go get the rest of them.
He now leaves now, to go after the others.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus,Gina and Grady, are walking talking, about where they
wonder their missing friends are.
It's gonna be dark soon, in a few
hours. So we gotta get everyone
back together, and back at the gas
station. Too see if it's finished,
yet or not.
Ugh, I hate to imagine, if we had
to stay overnight in this town,
Where are the people? I mean that
woman did say atleast 10 to 15
where still in this town. But, why
haven't we seen any, besides the
gas station owner, and that crazy
woman, who owns the diner?
To much heat to handle maybe?
I don't know, let's just get back
to the gas station, and figure
this out.


Marcus,Gina and Grady, see the Humvee there, along with
Erik, and Ali, who are waiting for everyone else.
Where is Grady,Jasmine, and Rachel
I don't know, I thought they might
have been with you.
No, we haven't seen them, since
first back when we left for the
What about Davis, then?
He's somewhere here in town. He
just disappeared on me, all of a
Erik sighs now.
So, what are we gonna do then?
Let's go talk to the old guy, and
see how the Humvee's going.
The group goes, and knocks on the door. After a minute Mr.
Jackson, comes out.
Excuse me, mister.
                       MR. JACKSON
That's, Mr. Jackson.


Okay, Mr. Jackson, Is are car
                       MR. JACKSON
It's not gonna be ready for like
another, day or so.
What do you mean?
                       MR. JACKSON
What I mean is there are no fan
belts here, and that should take a
couple of days to arrive.
Couple days?! What do you mean?!
There's nothing else, you can do?
                       MR. JACKSON
No, there is nothing, I can do.
What about the other town?
                       MR. JACKSON
That's about 5 miles way, and I
don't have a car.
What about the tow truck driver?
                       MR. JACKSON
He's gone for the weekend, and
can't be reached where he's at
You're telling us, we're stuck
                       MR. JACKSON
We've got a hotel here, in town to
stay in. While you wait for your


Where is it? I haven't see it at
                       MR. JACKSON
It's at the far edge of the town.
Is it even open anymore?
                       MR. JACKSON
Yes, it's open, even if no one
stays in it anymore. My nephew
runs the place.
Nephew? So you like to keep it all
in the family huh?
                       MR. JACKSON
This town is one big family, so to
      (under his breathe)
Hopefully, not to much.
Ali, hears what Erik, said, and elbows him sharply in his

Erik, wheezes, from the air being knocked out of him.
Is your nephew there right now?
                       MR. JACKSON
He lives at the motel, so that he
can take care of problems more
Can you call him up, and let him
know he's got some guests coming


What are you doing?
What,It's not like we've got any
other options left do we?
Erik, just looks at Marcus, now.
Yeah, that's exactly what I
thought. Everyone grab what you
need then..
                                         CUT TO:
The 5 of them are now in a old, dirty rundown looking hotel.
Nothing much in the lobby, but a couch or so. And the front

A 20 something guy, is at the counter. Tall,Black Hair,Brown
Eyes and in a suit.

The 5 of them approach the counter, where the young man is
standing behind.
Hello, Your uncle called you about
Marcus, looks at the name on his shirt, that has a name tag.
                       MARCUS (cont'd)
Yes, my uncle called before.
So, how much is a room for one


About 45 dollars a night. How many
rooms will you be needing?
Were be needing two rooms then.
Who's staying with who?
Me,Gina and Grady, will be in one
and you and Ali, in the other.
But, what about the others?
Well, okay if we find them, Davis,
can stay with us. And Jasmine, and
Rachel, with you.
How about a discount for ya. I'll
only charge 75 dollars for the two
rooms tonight then.
Wow, thanks man. Finally,
something starting to go our way.
You're in rooms 1 and 2. Unless
you like the honeymoon suites, for
no additional charge.
What's the difference?
Just a jacuzzi, and bigger beds.
Okay, were take them then.


Jason reaches under the counter for the keys. He gives them
to Marcus.
You're in rooms 12, and lucky
number 13.
Marcus, gives Erik, a key then he looks at the key, and sees
it's number 13.
13 huh?
Marcus, Scoffs.

Marcus, now gives Jason, the $45 dollars.
                                         CUT TO:
Everyone's standing infront of rooms 12 and 13.
What do you wanna do now?
Maybe we call the others, to see
where there at?
Grady, takes out his cell phone to dial up Davis. The phone
does nothing, but ring and ring.
He doesn't seem to be answering
his phone.
What the hell could he possibility
be doing? Someone call either
Jasmine, or Rachel. Cause you find
one you'll find the other.
Erik, uses Grady's phone, to call Jasmine's cell phone.
Jasmine's phone rings, and rings to no response.


No, answer either.
Maybe Davis,Jasmine, and Rachel,
are in a three-way?
Grady, laughs and chuckles.
Yeah, I'm sure that's what's going
on right now, at this very moment.
Whatever. Let's just put out stuff
in our rooms and meet back in Me
and Erik's room. By getting into
the jacuzzi and relax.
Sounds good enough for me.
15 to 20 minutes later.
                                         CUT TO:
All 5 of them are sitting in the jacuzzi having a good time
drinking the alcohol from the mini bars.
Who, knew such a Crap-hole town
could be enjoyable?
Yeah But I feel more comfortable
If I knew where the others were
Go, call again to see if there
available now or not.


I left my cell phone in our room.
I'm gonna go get it then.
Gina, gets up out of the jacuzzi wraps a towel around her
and goes next door to their room.
                                         CUT TO:
Gina, a little drunken staggers around the room a bit. She
now goes over to her bag. She now goes over to her bag
reaches inside grabs her cell phone, and takes it out.

Gina, Now dials up Davis's cell phone number. She let's the
phone ring, and ring until no response.

Gina, now hears a noise from the closet. She closes up her
phone, and puts it away.

She hears the noise once again from the closet.
Davis? Is that you? This isn't
funny come on out now. The games
over you've had your fun.
Gina, starts to get closer to the closet now inching her way
You're starting to scare me.
Please, come on out.
Gina, is standing infront of the door. Her hand reaches out
for the knob, her hand starts to shake.
You can do this there's nothing to
be afraid of.
Gina's hand turns the knob, and opens the door. She looks
into the closet with her head. She see's nothing at all. Her
cell phone goes off, she looks over at it. Then she turns


her head back towards the closet, and Davis's dead body
falls down onto her.

Gina, screams wildly out of control, then she starts to cry,
and sob. She now looks at Davis's face, and now begins to
scream, and cry almost at the same time.

Gina, pushes the dead body of Davis off her. She now runs to
the door opens it, and runs into the hallway, and knocks on
the door frantically.

It takes about 2 minutes before someone finally opens the
door for her.Gina, runs into the room a crying, blubbering,
mess tears coming out her eyes,going down her cheeks like
What the hell's the matter with
What about Davis?
      (Still crying)
He's dead I saw his body.
What do you mean he's dead?
Where'd you see this at? In the
other room?
He was in the closet, and fell
onto me.
What were you doing in the closet


      (Crying but not
       much as before)
I heard this noise from the
closet. One moment, I, look in,
and see nothing. Then my phone
rang, and scared me. So I, turned
my attention back to the closet,
and then that's when Davis feel
out of the closet on me.
I'm sure that's not what you
possibility see. It was your mind
playing tricks on you. Or maybe
even from the stress. You said
you've been having as of late.
I think she's just drunk off her
ass that's all. I mean, what other
way would you explain seeing shit,
like dead bodies?
I'm not lying! His body feel on
me! I touched his body it was
Bullshit! That's all I gotta say.
Stop looking for attention from
everyone. Isn't Marcus's enough?
Is it possible for you, not to be
a total jerk-off for 24 hours? I,
mean we can atleast check out the
If it shuts her the hell up, let's
do it then.


Ali gives Erik a really dirty look from his comments.
Everyone, let's get out of the
jacuzzi, and check this out, and
make Gina, feel safer.
Everyone, that was in the jacuzzi gets out they cover up,
and get ready to go to the other room.
                                         CUT TO:
It looks the same as Erik, and ALi's room.

Once all inside, they look around the room.
So where are the dead bodies at? I
don't see any here.
What do you mean? It's right by
the closet.
Gina points over to the closet area where she saw the dead
body of Davis.
I don't see nothing, but the
He was there goddamn it!
Oh, sweetie, I think you're losing
it. It's A mixture of
Heat,Alcohol, and Stress are no
good for you.


I think you need to lie down, for
nice nap to calm your nerves, and
ease your mind.
Yeah, maybe I just need to do what
you all said.
You, heard her everyone, out for
now. Look if you need anything,
I'll be right next door.
Marcus, puts his hands on Gina's shoulder.
Thank you. I'll do that then.
You heard her let's leave.
Everyone, now leaves the room except Gina, who goes, and
lays down on the bed.
                                         CUT TO:
The 4 others are just sitting around talking What Gina, seen
or didn't see.
So, out of all the girls in
school, you pick the insane one? I
tell you bro. You really know how
to pick them.
Shut up! Shut the fuck up! All
you've done is talk shit this
whole entire trip!


Oh, just calm your ass down will
ya? Look sorry if I offended you,
or your little girlfriend.
She's not my girlfriend. She's
just a person who shares alot of
the same interests as me.
Okay, if you say so.
Erik, rolls his eyes now, after what he said.
Just stay away from me, for now.
Tell you what I'm gonna go out for
a walk. See If I can find anyone
else. I'm sure there out looking
for us.
Marcus now goes out the door and closes it behind him.
Someone should go after him.
Yeah, I'm gonna check on him.
So, will I.
What are you gonna leave me, all
by myself?
I think you need a time out, for
being such a ass as of late.
Fine! I don't need you! I don't
need anyone!


He stomps into the bathroom, and slams the door shut.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus, has just left exited the front doors. With Grady,
and Ali, behind him closel
Marcus! Wait up!
Marcus, keeps walking he doesn't hear them.
Man, it's us, turn around!
Marcus, stops, and looks back at who it is. Grady, and Ali,
run, and catch up with him.
Where you gonna go? Nothing's
Somewhere, anywhere, from him.
Cause right now I, wanna punch his
face in right now. No, offense
None taken, I know what kind of
jerk he can be, to someone
Let's just go back to the hotel.
No, I can't do that. I gotta find
the others.
All three of them now start walking again, and resume


I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe, they went to the big city.
I highly doubt that they walked,
especially with Jasmine and
Rachel. Plus Davis, is to lazy to
walk that far.
Perhaps they just went home, by
calling an taxi? They were
complaining about the trip.
Then why wouldn't they call, and
tell us?
Because their snooty bitches.
Far enough answer then.
Oh, shit I just thought of
What's that Einstein?
What if, they're back at the
hotel, and we don't know it yet.
If so, why wouldn't they answer
their phones?
Beats the shit out of me.


They continue to keep walking, nothing but, empty buildings
in the town surround them.

Marcus, takes a deep breathe, and sighs.
Where the fuck am I going? There's
nowhere to go here.
That's what I, was trying to say
You know what? Just forget it I'm
tired of this stuff right now. I'm
just tired of it all.
The three of them now turn around, and walk towards the
                                         CUT TO:
It looks darker then it did before. And Jason, the counter
guy is nowhere to be seen.
The quicker we go to bed. The
quicker we can leave this lame ass
ghost town of inbreeds.
I sure hope Erik, didn't drink all
the booze from the mini bars.
Knowing him he probably did.
The three of them walk towards the elevator, and push the
button. Wait for it to open, and get into it. It goes up to
the floor, and the doors open now.


Marcus,Grady, and Ali, walk out the elevator, and down the
hallway to their rooms.
I'm gonna go check on Gina. See
how she's doing.
Marcus, walks down to the room 13, and goes in.

Ali, and Grady, go into room 12 now.
                                         CUT TO:
There's nobody in the room except the two who just entered.
Erik's not in sight at all nowhere.
Where the hell's Erik at?
Erik! Were back already!
Grady goes and knocks on the bathroom door.
Are you in there?
No response from inside the bathroom.

Grady, puts his hand on the knob, and opens up the door.
Grady, looks into the bathroom, and sees noting.

He pulls his head back into the room now.
There's nobody in there.
Where is he then?


He's next door, maybe?
All of a sudden, the door flings open, and it's Marcus, who
comes into the room.
Is Gina, here?
No, she's not. Was Erik, over
No. Nobody was over there.
What the fuck is going on
Did you check the bathroom over
No, actually I didn't.
Then go check. Were go with you.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus,Grady, and Ali, are now in there. They turn the door
knob, and go in. They see nothing there. But, hear a noise
in the shower.
Gina, is that you?
Nothing but silence from there.

Marcus, quickly pulls back the shower curtain. The dead body
of Davis, is lying in the tub.


Everyone has a look of shock, and terror on their faces.
Oh, my god!
Ali, looks like she's about to gag. Her hand is over her
Davis ! No!
Is he dead?
So, Gina, wasn't lying about what
she saw before.
Who the fuck is doing this?!
More importantly, where are Gina,
and Erik, at?
So, that story from the diner is,
seeming to be less bullshit now.
Is That old bitch doing this?
Do you think Jasmine, and Rachel,
ended up like Davis, here?
I don't know. But I don't see
things looking good though.


I think it's time to get the fuck
out of here!
Let's go see if that crazy loon
from the diner know's anything,
else about this fucked up town.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus,Grady, and Ali, now are in the diner.
Hey where are you!?
Wer,e back for a midnight snack!
Nothing but silence from the building.
Great. She's not here
Let's get things straight. The
woman from the diner is gone. And
the guy from the hotel is also
So either those people were taken,
by the same ones who took the
rest, or their the ones doing all
of this.
Only one way to find out. We go
check her back area. See if
there's anything back there, to
connect them to the others.


The three of them walk back to the back area. There's a door
there, and it's locked.
Shit, it's locked.
Marcus, kicks in the door, and it opens.
And now it's not.
What are you doing?
Well if she didn't have anything
to hide, she wouldn't have locked
the door, now would she?
The three enter into the area now. The area is in such a
clutter. You really can't find anything in the mess. Marcus,
turns on a light switch, but it's still a mess, just not as
much as before.
What a dump! How the hell she
finds anything in here, is a
They're all looking through the mess now. Ali's eye catches
something under the mess.
I think I see something here, wait
Ali, searches under the mess, and pulls out a purse.

Ali, begins to look at it, and holds it up.
Is that Jasmine's purse? Because
it looks like it to me.


Ali, looks into the purse, and see's a wallet. She grabs the
wallet opens it up. Looks at it, and shows it to the others.
The wallet reveals, it's the student ID of Jasmine.
Oh, fuck. Looks like we got our
We gotta get out of here.
Our car is fucked though.
There's gotta be something here to
help us out. I, mean how else do
you explain, how they get rid of
the cars?
The old guy. What about him? He
has to have something then.
He's part of it though I'm sure.
The whole town is. However how
many people are here.
Whatever, it is, we gotta get out
of here alive. And find Gina, and
                                         CUT TO:


It's a small room with no color, just darkness. There's a
small cage, but big enough for a person to get into. Gina,
is inside chained to the cage. A older woman approaches the
Who ever that is, let me out of
here. I haven't done anything to
The woman comes closer, and it's revealed to be Mrs. Lewis.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Oh, yes you have. I know your
My kind? What do you mean by that?
                       MRS. LEWIS
Whores, That's what I, mean.
Teasing my boy, making fun of him.
just thinking you can have any man
you want. And get away with it.
I have no idea what you mean. I've
done nothing to either you, or
your son.
                       MRS. LEWIS
It doesn't matter, but I'm sure
you would, given the chance.
Please, just let me out of here,
and back to my friends.
                       MRS. LEWIS
No need to leave the cage, to see
your friends.


The door from the small room comes swinging open. Jason,
comes into the room, dragging someone behind him. It turns
out to be Erik, who's knocked out.
                       MRS. LEWIS
I believe you've met my boy,
                       MRS. LEWIS
Well, look here, this whore here
got's some smarts to her. Unlike
your two other friends.
Jasmine and Rachel.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Yeah, they were dumber then a box
of rocks. He took care of them
with ease.
They're dead?
                       MRS. LEWIS
Don't worry sweetie, soon you will
be to.
Erik, begins to stir, and move now.
Erik, help me!
Erik, now wakes up. But can go nowhere, cause he's chained
to the floor, with a lock on his ankle. He really can't go
What the fuck! Where am I?
                       MRS. LEWIS
You're here to be judged, by god
for your sinful ways.


Lady, I just got one question for
you. Who the fuck are you?
                       MRS. LEWIS
Who Am I? Who am I?! I am the hand
of fate god choose to strike down
all the sinners in the world. Like
you, and your little friend here.
Like I said before we've done
nothing, to you.
                       MRS. LEWIS
You've done plenty, with the way
you dress. You peddle your, flesh,
to others to tempt, So in god's
eye's you're all sinners. And
deserve to be punished. I'll leave
you to think about that.
Mrs. Lewis, and Mason, now go through the door.
Mason, please, you don't have do
                       MRS. LEWIS
Don't do that! Don't fill his head
with thoughts! Does anybody care
about me, or my boy?! I thought
Mrs. Lewis, and Mason, now leave the room, slamming the door
behind them.
I knew that crazy bitch wasn't
right, when she first verbally
attacked me, back at the diner.
How'd you end up in the cage?


Well, of course I took a nap at
the hotel. And then woke up here,
in this cage. What about you?
That's a simple answer. I drank
too much, and woke up in another
room, and was knocked out. Then
dragged into here with you.
Let's just hope the others notice
we're missing.
                                         CUT TO:
Marcus,Grady, and Ali, are now standing infront of Mr,
Jackson's place. The lights are off. No one appears to be
there, at all.
Just like at the diner, no one's
Let's see of we can get in.
Ali, puts her hand on the door knob, and turns it. The door
opens for them.
See, there's always ways to do
things, without breaking stuff you
The three of them walk into the gas station.
It's dark inside, and you can't see anything at all.


So, what the hell do you expect to
find in here? In total pitch
I don't know some car keys, Maybe,
a gun.
As there walking in the dark Grady, slips on the ground, and
you hear a squish noise.
Grady, are you all right? You
didn't hurt yourself?
Grady, now gets up off the ground, covered in sticky liquid
No .I'm just fine. But, I fell
onto some sticky liquid stuff.
Oh, hey, I just found a
Marcus, sees it, and picks up the flash light from the
table. And shines it at Grady who's now covered in red.
Holy shit, man.
What. What is it?
You're covered all in red.
Grady, looks at his hands, their totally red.
Is that blood on you?
Grady, takes a step forward, towards Marcus, and you hear
the that squish noise again.


What was that?
My feet moving.
Marcus now moves from Grady's hands to his feet. Who's
standing in a puddle of the stuff, Grady, is covered in.
Holy shit, it is blood. Only
question is, who's is it?
Marcus, moves the flash light along the floor. It's covered
in blood, all over the place. Then you finally see a body,
lying face down..
Who is it? Is it Erik?
I don't think so. Stay here, and
let me go check it out.
Marcus, moves over to the dead body lying there. Marcus,
turns the body over. You can barely see who it is. Cause all
of the blood on his face.
Who is it?
I can't tell, his face is too
Ali see's a rag lying on the desk.
Here use this, to wipe the blood
off him.
Ali, throws Marcus, the rag, and he bends down, and proceeds
to wipe the blood off him.
Well, I'll be godamned.


What. Who is it?
It's Mr. Jackson.
It's the owner of this place. The
bunch of us met him before, when
we arrived in town earlier before.
I could have swore, he had
something to do with this.
This only leaves us with two
options. That we know of that is.
Only really one person. That old
woman from the diner.
But, if it, was her she would need
help. She couldn't have done this
Fuck me!
Ali, laughs at what Marcus, said.
What? Why?
I can't believe I didn't think
this earlier. Jason,Mason?
Yeah, so what they're both working
for the old woman?


No, I mean Jason,Mason they're one
letter off! They're the same damn
Okay, if that is true, where are
they holding them?
Where else, the hotel!
We thought they left the hotel,
and they never did.
It all makes sense now!
This is fucked up! This is so
fucked up! If you guys just would
have stayed on the road! Instead
of going to that goddamn hotel!
Just settle down man.
No, I'm not gonna fucking calm
down! This is all your fault! All
of you!
Acting like this, isn't gonna help
either Gina, or Erik.
Look it's not my fault we stopped!
So don't put any of this blame on
Oh, I guess I should just blame
myself for sleeping! Yeah, that's
it! It's all my fault 100 percent.


Listen you two, settle down!
Screaming at each other isn't
gonna do anyone, any good.
Marcus, breathes in, and sighs.
You, think you can say that
louder? The serial killers didn't
hear you.
Enough, We need to stick together!
Now what we need to do is, go back
to the hotel, find them and leave!
                                         CUT TO:
Enter the room, where Gina, and Erik, are being held

Gina, Still in the cage, and Erik, chained up.

The door opens, and in comes Mrs. Lewis, with gun in hand.
She goes towards Erik, and unchains him.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Get up, and don't say or try
Erik, now gets up off the ground now.
                       MRS. LEWIS
That's good, now go out the door.
And see if you can escape.
Erik quickly runs out the door out into the hallway.


                       MRS. LEWIS
He's not gonna get far.
What's that suppose to mean?
                       MRS. LEWIS
I mean soon you're gonna follow
after him. My boy is gonna take
care of him. Your friend is gonna
have the chance to escape, with
his life. But, no one so far has.
Mrs. Lewis walks, infront of the cage now.
                       MRS. LEWIS
I'm gonna open this cage door, so
don't try anything okay.
Mrs. Lewis, opens the cage, and Gina, comes out.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Get up off the ground.
Gina, gets up off the ground.
Please, have some thought about
                       MRS. LEWIS
The only thought I'm thinking
about is, how your death will be a
mystery, even to me.
Mrs. Lewis, pushes the gun into Gina's back, and guides her
towards the door.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Go out there, and play nicely with
my boy. See how you like it now.
Mrs. Lewis, pushes Gina, out into the hallway, and slams the
door behind her.


Gina, is frightened, and shaking scared for her life.

Gina, now begins to walk down the dark colorless walls
going, step by step
The hallways echo "Erik" through them, and all the way back
to her.

Gina, walks the hallway, she hears nothing, but the rats in
the walls crawling around.

Gina, now continues to walk, and now hears foot steps in the

As Gina, walks you also hear the foot steps. She begins to
run, and the other foot steps increase.

Gina's looking around while's she's running. She runs around
the corner, and runs into someone, and falls down on the
Oh, god, please, don't kill me!
Why would we kill you?
Gina, looks up, and it's revealed to be Marcus,Grady, and
Oh, my god, I've never been so
happy to see anyone ever, in my
How'd you get away?
Well, I didn't exactly escape.
Not yet.


Not yet?
The killer's here, and it's the
desk clerk, and that crazy woman
from the diner, is his mom.
Yeah, we knew they were in on it.
But, we didn't know she was his
That guy killed his own fucking
Oh, shit, that isn't good. Means
we're dealing with a real fucking
psycho here!
Have you seen Erik?
Yeah, he's somewhere here in the
hotel. Hopefully nothing hasn't
happen to him yet.
What, do you mean hopefully, not
He's running around the hotel. And
Mason, is suppose to be coming
after us, to kill us. It's like
some kind of, sick fucking game to
Which that means we gotta find
Erik, and get the fuck out of


Jasmine, and Rachel, are dead. The
woman said she ordered her son
Mason, to kill them.
We know something happen cause we
found Jasmine's purse.
Like so and so said let's go find
Erik, And get the fuck out of this
Marcus,Grady,Gina, and Ali now begin to walk the hallways of
the dirty,dirty rat infested hotel.
God, how many rats are in this
place? It's like fucking rat
capital USA, here.
His voice echo's through out the hallways, with the name
Her voice echo's through out the hallways, same as Marcus's
did before.

From the distance you hear a voice. But, you can't quite
make it out, or who's voice it is yet.

The voice is getting louder as the foot steps approach them.
The voice sounds like a male talking coming towards, or
around the corner.
Everyone hide somewhere!
Everyone, one scatters to hide from the person, coming up
upon them. Marcus, is hiding right by where the person is


gonna appear, from after turning the corner.

The voice is right around the corner, your just about to see
who it is.

As soon as the person comes around the corner, Marcus,
punches them, and they fall. Marcus, kicks the person till,
you see who it is.
Hey, asshole it's me Erik! So you
can stop kicking the shit out of
Erik, is lying on the ground holding his ribs, from the
assault he's been given.
Oh, shit sorry, I beat the hell
out of you man.
Yeah, I'm sure you are.
Anyway, just get up. We need to
get the hell out of here!
Erik, gets off the ground onto his feet.
Oh, yeah, some douche bag wants to
fucking kill me, and is currently
after me.
Everyone, comes out from their hiding places, to see what is
going on.
Great, we found Erik, now let's
get the fuck out of here!
The five of them now rundown the hallway, down the stairs.


They run to the front doors of the place. But, the doors are
now locked, and they can't get out.
Who the hell locked the doors?
They weren't when we came in
awhile ago.
He must have known we were here,
and locked the doors after we came
Marcus, goes over and grabs a hold of a the chairs in the
lounge and try's to throw the chair through the window. But
the window doesn't break.
What the hell, shatter proof
Fucking just awesome!
Back upstairs! Maybe we can go out
the windows, if their open!
What about the killers?
We have no other choices! So let's
The 5 of them now run through the lobby, and up the stairs
to the next level.
                                         CUT TO:


Marcus,Erik,Grady,Gina, and Ali, are now looking for a
window to escape from. Their going in single file form.

With Grady,Erik,Marcus,Gina, and Ali, following in that
exact order behind them. Their looking around to make sure
it's safe.
Where did that Mason, guy go?
I'm sure he's around here yet,
that's why we need to get out,
without any more trouble.
Cause, I mean this is his hotel.
He know's his way around, and
could come from anywhere.
They continue to walk floors creaking. Rats running though
the walls.
Hey, slow down up there. You're
getting ahead, of the rest of the
Hey, I'm just trying to get the
fuck out of here, as soon as
Yes, I know, but try to stay
within the group.
Grady, turns right around the corner. But, you hear a thud
noise, and Grady falls down. All you can see are his hands
from behind the corner, and he's being dragged away.

Gina, and Ali, scream in horror, of what they've just seen.


Holy shit! Everyone run!
They all run down the hallway, they just came turning left.
Breaking, and going into a hotel room. Closing, and locking
it behind them.
Oh, my god, Grady's dead!
I know he was here one minute,
then he was gone!
We're all gonna die! We're all
gonna die in this place, and no
one will know!
No, we're not. We're gonna live,
and get out of here.
Yes, everyone just settle down!
Acting this way isn't helping!
Quiet it down, or he'll hear us!
Everyone in the room shuts up. And they hear Mason, go
walking, by the door looking for them.
Grady, my god, he's dead.
Gina, and Ali, go to sit down on the bed. And both of them
begin to sob lightly. Marcus, comes over, and puts his hand
on Gina's shoulder. Gina, looks at Marcus's hand.
I appreciate what you're trying to
do but, please, not now.


All right, enough said.
Marcus, takes his hand off Gina's shoulders.
We gotta think about this for a
second. Cause just running out
there is gonna get us killed.
We can't stay in here. He'll
eventually find us, and kill us
one by one.
What about bait?
I'll be the bait. Then you guys
can go run, and escape. Once I,
lose him, I'll catch up with the
rest of you.
What the hell are you doing, man?
Taking some responsibility for my
life, like someone told me to do.
Erik, looks over at Ali, sitting on the bed. Ali, then looks
back over at Erik.
No, That's not what I meant. I
meant not being such a jokester
and taking life more serious. Not
risking your life to be a hero.
I know baby, But, I gotta do this.
So please, forgive me.


Erik, goes over to Ali. She gets up off the bed. He puts his
hands around her face. And moves his face closer to her's.
He kisses her on the lips. He now puts his hands down and

As he's about to work away Ali,grabs his right hand.
Please, don't make this any harder
then it already is. I'll be back I
Ali, let's go of Erik's hand. Erik, moves towards the door,
and puts his ear to the door.
I don't hear anything.I think he's
gone now.
So, now's the time to do this, if
you're serious about this.
Yeah, I am. You guys go left, and
I'll go right.
I'm gonna keep you to that
Marcus, I'm sorry for all the
shit, I've given you over the
years. You're like a real brother
to me. Scratch that you are my
one, and real brother.
Thanks, And I'm sorry for being an
asshole. And not thinking about
what you've been through in your


Don't worry about it. We're cool
Marcus, walks over to Erik, and shakes his hand, and then
gives him a brotherly hug.
Okay, no more chick flick moments.
Erik, smiles and Laughs.
On the count of three, we leave.
Erik, opens the door, and they all go out into the hallway.
Erik, going has way, and the others going their way.
Mason! Mason, the molester! Why
don't you come out here, and
molest me you freak!
You now see Mason, appear from around the corner, only to be
a few feet away from Erik.


Oh,fuck. Oh,fuck. This was a bad
idea. This was a bad idea!!!
Erik, begins to run in the opposite way, leading Mason, away
from the others. Mason, following him. Mason, throws
something at Erik, and it barely misses him in the process.

While running Erik, decides, to run down the stairs to the
lower level.

Erik, begins to run down the steps. And looks back up as
he's going down, and doesn't see Mason, as he looks back
Oh, shit! I'm gonna die, I'm gonna
Erik, finally hits the bottom of the banister, and falls off
onto the ground.
To Erik's luck the rest of are also at the bottom. The
others come rushing over to him, to help him up off the
ground. They pick him up.
Like I, said piece of cake. But,
I, think I, have a splinter in my
Erik puts his right hand on his butt.
Did you lose him.
I think I did.
So, how are we gonna get out? The
windows don't break.


This place gotta have a door for
deliveries. You know like a back
door area.
It's our only option. We have no
others left.
All of a sudden a Pick Axe comes whizzing by, and is stuck
in the wall by them. It's Mason, who threw it from the top
of the steps.
Oh, shit let's get moving!
But first Marcus, grabs the Pick Axe out of the wall.

Marcus, holds the Pick Axe up.
You know, just in case.
The 4 of them now run by the lobby area. By the front
counter area. And some how end up in the hotel's kitchen
                                         CUT TO:
They're in a dimly light kitchen that looks like it hasn't
been used in quite some time. Knifes, and what not
everywhere through out the place.
It's gotta be right around here.
They usually are. Easier to move
the food when it's brought in.
You hear this noise all of a sudden. Like a wheezing like
noise, from in the kitchen area.

Everyone is turning there heads, looking around for that
strange noise.


Erik, is leaning against the counter, and he's wheezing
cause he can't catch his breathe at all.

They all finally notice it's Erik, who's wheezing making all
those sounds, from within the kitchen.
Jesus Christ, what happen to you?
It's revealed Erik, is bleeding from his sides. The thing
Mason, threw at Erik, actually did graze him.

Erik, didn't notice from all the excitement he went through.
Until now, and was just about to collapse.
Oh, my god, your bleeding!
Erik, falls down, and collapses against the kitchen counter
now. Wheezing continuing from him.
If you can so please, say
Erik, is wheezing, and gasping for air, tying to talk, and
say something.
I'm so sorry.
You're sorry for what?
That I didn't keep my promise.
But, you came back to me though.


      (Barely any sound)
And I'm about to leave you, This
time for good.
No, you can't! You bastard, I
won't let you!
Erik's right hand reaches out. Ali, bends down, and puts her
right hand against Erik's. Their fingers coming together.

Erik's grip starts to get loose, and looser, Until his hand
finally let's go. And his head finally goes down.
Erik! Erik! No, please, Erik!
Ali, tries shaking Erik, but to no avail Erik has died. Ali,
screams out a sad yell, and starts to cry.

Marcus, bends down to her. Looks her straight in the eyes.
Look, we gotta get moving!
There's nothing more we can do for
him now.
Just leave me, and go!
Gina, looks straight at Ali's face.
No, Erik, gave his life for us.
For you, And to stay behind would
mean we died for nothing. Do you
really want that?


No, I suppose not.
We're gonna make this motherfucker
pay. But first we need to get away
from him, and get help.
Ali, is still on the ground next to Erik, sobbing.
Sweetie, please, we need to keep
moving. If we have any hope of
ever getting out of here.
Okay, All right, for Erik's memory
I will.
Marcus, gets up off the ground. And him, and Gina, Help Ali,
up off the ground to her feet.

Ali, takes notice to a big kitchen knife lying on the white
counter, covered in dirt, and blood. She picks up the big
knife, and just stares at it.

Ali, has a crazed look on her face like she's lost all
senses of sanity in her mind.
Ali, you wanna put down the huge
knife please?
Back up! Get away from me!
You're really starting to scare


Oh, I'm scaring you! I'm scaring
Both Marcus, and Gina, try to get close to Ali, But she has
the knife pointed out like she's gonna stab one of them.
Okay, you can have the knife. Just
don't hurt yourself or anyone
Ali, still has that weird crazed look on her face yet.

The now three people left walk through the rest of the
kitchen. Ali, looking back at Erik, who's lying on the
ground every now, and then.

They keep walking until they see a red exit sign above the
This has to be the place.
The three of them enter into the medium sized room. There's
a door with a small window on it. They run over to the door
and try to open it but it doesn't.

A voice is heard from within the room. It's coming from the
corner. It's Mrs. Lewis's voice. She's sitting in a rocking
chair, that's in the corner.
                       MRS. LEWIS
You can't get out, you need the
key. This key here.
Mrs. Lewis, has the key on a chain. It's on her hand and
she's swinging it back and fourth.
Just give me the key, and nobody's
got to get hurt.


Bitch, I said gimme the goddamn
keys, Before I cut your head off!
Whoa, settle down there.
                       MRS. LEWIS
I'm not the ones who need to be
worried about getting hurt.
It's three on one. You're in no
situation to be making threats.
Mason, now comes smashing through the doors they just came
through a few minutes ago.
                       MRS. LEWIS
Judge them my son, For their
sinful ways. But make them suffer,
by using your hands.
Mason, nods in agreement to what his mom said. He drops the
hatchet from his hand.
Stay behind me, and try to smash
the window.
Mason, comes charging at Marcus. Marcus, try's swinging the
pick axe, But Mason, knocks it out of his hands.

Mason. Gets the advantage, and slams him into the wall. The
wall doesn't move at all.

But Marcus, cries out in pain from the impact of the blow on
his spinal cord.

Mason, repeatedly slams Marcus, against the wall
again,again, and again.

Marcus, has a a dazed, and confused look on his face from
the blows. Small amounts of blood of are starting to come
out of Marcus's mouth.


                       MRS. LEWIS
Come on,make him see the sins of
his ways!
Mason, is now choking Marcus, against the wall now with one

Gina, and Ali, go to try, and help Marcus, But their knocked
away with Mason's other free hand.

Gina, and Ali, are lying on the ground. Looking up at Mrs.
Lewis, who's now standing up out of her chair. And not
paying attention to the girls.
Now's a good time to use that
knife of yours. While she's not
looking at us.
No, I'm not gonna use the knife.
Ali, drops the knife, and mow instead picks up the hatchet
that Mason, has dropped earlier before.

Ali, looks over to Mason, who is still choking, and slamming
Marcus, against the wall. Ali, now get's up to her feet.

Ali, runs towards Mrs. Lewis, who's not playing attention to
the girls. Ali, now swings the hatchet, and as she does so
Mrs. Lewis, looks right at her as the hatchet take's off her
head in one big swing.

Mrs Lewis's head falls off her body. Her headless body now
falls to the ground. Ali, now drops the bloody hatchet to
the ground, and it makes a clatter noise in the room.
Mason, looks back to see What the noise was. He see's a
bloody hatchet by Ali, and that she has just taken off his
mothers's head.

Mason, howls a angry yell that echo's the room.

Mason, lets go of Marcus, and he falls to the ground a
bloody mess. Blood coming from his face.


Oh, that's not good.
Mason, comes over to the girls. They try to defend against
him, he just grabs them by their throats though.
Ali, can't even get out a word she's being gagged to hard.
Her face is starting to turn purple.

Mason, is about to choke the last life out of the both of
them, Until he let's them go for some reason.

Both of the girls fall to the ground now, gasping for air
back into their lungs.

It's revealed that Marcus, has stabbed him in the back with
the point of the pick axe. He takes a few steps forward the
pick axe falls out of his back now.

Marcus, now grabs a hold of Mason, and slams him roughly
against the door.
Motherfucker! You, killed my
brother! You country Cocksucker!
Marcus, is now slamming his head against the window.
Over,over,over, over again.

There's Mason's blood all over the door, and window.
Masons's face is a total bloody mess.
You, like that? You, fucking like
Mason, takes a small switch blade from out of his one pocket
and stabs Marcus, in the leg. Blood pours out the stab

Marcus, scream out in pain. They now change spots with
Marcus, against the door. Mason, pushes the knife in even


deeper. More blood continues to pour out, While Marcus,
try's to gouge out the eyes of Mason.
A little help here!
Gina, and Ali, run over . Ali, hits Mason, in the back again
with the pick axe. While Gina, jabs him in the side deeply
with the kitchen knife, and twists, and turns it. With
Mason's blood going all over Gina's hands from her stabbing

More blood starts to pout out of Mason's mouth. Marcus, is
able to get away from Mason, now.

Marcus, now slams Mason's head against the window one more
time, and finally the window breaks from the impact of
Mason's head. The glass shatters, With bit of glass going
into Mason's face.

Mason, falls down to the ground not dead yet, But still
twitching, and moving around about.
He's still alive! Do something!
Just....fucking... Die!
Marcus, picks up the bloody hatchet Ali. Had used early on,
and drives it into the chest of Mason. Marcus, twists, and
turns it into his chest. The bones crunching in his chest,
with tons of blood just pouring out the huge open space in
his chest.

Marcus, let's go of the hatchet which is still straight up
sticking out of Mason's chest.
Can, we get out of here now?
Sure, There's nothing else left to
do left, But leave, and go home.


Marcus, kicks Mason's dead body out of the way. Marcus,
reaches his hand outside the window to open the door from
the outside.

Marcus, opens the door for the three of them to exit
It's revealed that the next town wasn't 5 miles away. But
half a mile in sight. You just couldn't see from the
highway. The Bright lights of the town are shining almost in
their faces and they just have a look of disbelief on there
You gotta be fucking kidding me!


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From David Chase Date 9/11/2008 *1/2
There's a market for this type of horror, so I wouldn't give up on the idea, but there's a lot of work to be done. The spelling, grammar, and punctuation made it a really difficult read. I found the dialogue really unnatural at times, so I would suggest reading it aloud. You'll see what I mean. Avoid saying things like "you see"; rather, just tell the story, and avoid anything that looks like camera direction. I'd also recommend tightening the story up, and getting to the action sooner. Almost nothing happened until around page 50, which is way too long to wait. Finally, even though there is a market for this type of story, you should still strive for a little more originality. A lot of what's in here has been done before, you just have to find something that makes it stand apart.

From ralph keefer Date 9/6/2008 ***1/2
Very intriguing, eerie and scary. Its a very good script, i would love to see this become a movie one day.

From Kevin Mitchell Date 8/16/2008 ****
Loved it, very eerie and the structure seemed good. The one thing I would say that REALLY hurts your screenplay and I know this just because I love the suspense or horror genres is.... Be descriptive with "sounds". Too many times you say "he hears a sound and turns around". OK, but what? A sound can be anything, now if you say he hears rustling behind him, NOW I'm scared. Or "the sound of nails scratching the wall can be heard behind the shower curtain", that is creepy because now the imagination begins to filter out the sounds that may not be spooky to the ones that ARE. Let verbs and adjectives be your friend, ESPECIALLY in the suspense and horror genres.

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