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"TO GLADLY MEET A GHOST"
by Josh Barbee (fleshofthewicked@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
When Deacon met Milo, he couldn't imagine having a better friend...


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



INT. OFFICE - CUBICLES - DAY
                                                            
MILO sits in front of a computer, confined within the walls
of his cubicle.

His thumb presses the power button in the bottom corner of
the monitor.

The monitor lights up.
                                                            
ON MONITOR
                                                            
A window pops up, prompting to input a username and
password.
                                                            
BACK TO SCENE
                                                            
Milo types away at the keyboard, but quickly realizes
nothing is happening on the screen.

He checks the keyboard's wire to make sure it is plugged in.

It is, but he unplugs and plugs it back in just to be safe.

A power light at the top of the keyboard lights up,
indicating a successful connection.

Milo begins to type again...
                                                            
ON MONITOR
                                                            
Still, nothing happens. The cursor blinks in the username
space, unmoving.
                                                            
BACK TO SCENE
                                                            
Milo looks at the keyboard, confused.

His finger taps the CAPS LOCK key.

A second light on the keyboard appears, indicating CAPS LOCK
is on.

Milo hits the key again, turning the CAPS LOCK off.

He types...
                                                            
ON MONITOR
                                                            
Nothing.
                                                            
BACK TO SCENE
                                                            

2.

Milo contemplates his next move for a moment, staring at the
screen ahead with a blank expression on his face.

Seconds later, Milo relieves his frustration by picking up
his keyboard and slamming it down hard on the desk.

NATALIE, who sits in the next row over, watches him from her
cubicle.
                                                            
                       NATALIE
Mornin', Milo.
                                                            
Milo is startled by the sound of his name. He turns to look
at her.
                                                            
                       MILO
Hey, Natalie. You have a good
weekend?
                                                            
                       NATALIE
Better than yours from the looks
of it. Computer problems?
                                                            
Behind Milo, a man sit down in an unoccupied chair near the
closed door to the manager's office. His name is DEACON.
                                                            
                       MILO
The goddamn thing won't work. The
keyboard isn't...keying.
                                                            
Deacon gets a LAUGH caught in his throat as he overhears
Milo's statement.

Milo looks back at him.
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (To Milo)
Sorry. Didn't mean to eavesdrop.
Here for an interview.
                                                            
A WOMAN in a cubicle near Deacon looks over at him.
                                                            
                       CUBICLE WOMAN
      (To Deacon)
Excuse me? Did you say something?
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (To woman)
I was talking to him.
                                                            
The woman ducks back into her cubicle.
                                                            

3.

                       MILO
Don't mind her. She's a nosey
bitch.
                                                            
Deacon is amused, but a little anxious at this statement as
he looks over to the woman to make sure she hadn't heard.

She hadn't.

The manager's door opens. The office MANAGER steps out,
looking to Deacon.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Deacon, right?
                                                            
Deacon shoots up in his seat and shakes the man's hand
immediately.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Yes, sir. That's me. Nice to meet
you.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Likewise. Come inside.
                                                            
                       MILO (O.S.)
Good luck.
                                                            
Deacon turns to give Milo a small wave of gratitude as he
enters the office before the manager.

Milo looks back to Natalie.
                                                            
                       MILO
Doesn't stand a chance.
                                                            
Natalie nearly LAUGHS out loud, but manages to hold most of
it in.

The manager's door closes.
                                                            
INT. OFFICE - CUBICLES - LATER
                                                            
The clock on the wall reads 10:00.

Milo sits at his desk, looking like he is trying to stay
awake. He sits up in his chair, rubbing his eyes and turns
to Natalie, who is hard at work typing.
                                                            
                       MILO
I'm breaking. You wanna come with?
                                                            

4.

                       NATALIE
Can't. Conference call in five.
I'll meet up with you for lunch
though, kay?
                                                            
Milo gives her a wink and a thumbs up before leaving his
cubicle.
                                                            
 
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Milo stands on the sidewalk outside the front entrance to
the building, smoking a cigarette.

Deacon exits the building and spots Milo immediately.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Hi there.
                                                            
                       MILO
Yo, interviewee. How goes it?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Good, good. The interview went
well, I think. He hired me, so
that's always a good sign.
                                                            
                       MILO
Way to go.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Thanks. Milo, right?
                                                            
Milo seems curious but not enough to really care.
                                                            
                       MILO
Yeah, how'd you know?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Oh, I saw your name on your desk
before. I'm Deacon.
                                                            
They shake hands.
                                                            
                       MILO
Nice to meet you. Smoke?
                                                            
                       DEACON
No, I don't. I was never cool
enough to pull off the smoker
look. I gotta get back in anyhow.
Just came out to call my sister.
Give her the news. They want me to
            (MORE)

5.

                       DEACON (cont'd)
start training today.
                                                            
                       MILO
That's quick. What position?
                                                            
Deacon pulls a cell phone from his pocket.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Senior processor.
                                                            
                       MILO
Oh, nice. That's what I do.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Neat. There's usually only one of
those. Maybe we'll work together.
                                                            
                       MILO
Maybe.
                                                            
Deacon waves goodbye as he walks off to make his call in
private.

Milo replays the conversation in his head while his takes
another drag of his cigarette...

Then it hits him.
                                                            
                       MILO
Oh, what the fuck!
                                                            
Milo throws the still lit cigarette to the ground before
angrily heading back inside.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - CUBICLES - DAY
                                                            
Deacon sits eagerly in the chair outside the manager's
office. He listens uncomfortably to an ARGUMENT taking place
behind the closed door.

After a while, Milo storms out of the office, slamming the
door behind him hard enough that it knocks a decorative
photo off the wall.

The glass in the frame cracks as it hits the carpet at
Deacon's feet.

Deacon stands to pick the picture frame up and sets it down
on the chair. He follows Deacon back to his desk.
                                                            

6.

                       DEACON
I'm so sorry, man. I had no idea I
was taking your job.
                                                            
Milo empties a box a papers to the floor and gathers his
belongings into it.
                                                            
                       MILO
Appreciate that, Deac, but not
really in the mood to socialize.
Do me a favor? When the girl who
sits over there gets back, tell
her to call me.
                                                            
Deacon looks over to Natalie's unoccupied desk.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Sure. No problem.
                                                            
Milo storms out, box in hand.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Sorry, again.
                                                            
Deacon stands alone at Milo's desk.

The woman from before peers oddly at him over her cubicle
wall.
                                                            
 
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Deacon stands outside, waiting on the sidewalk.

A small, red car pulls up to the curb. The woman driving is
IZZY, Deacon's sister.

Deacon opens the passenger side door and gets in.
                                                            
 
INT. DEACON'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
Deacon and Izzy have a meal across from each other at the
kitchen table.

A bottle of beer sits near Izzy's plate while Deacon's
beverage is a glass of red wine.
                                                            
                       IZZY
How was it?
                                                            

7.

                       DEACON
It's good. The peppers give it
that extra "Ungh".
                                                            
                       IZZY
You mean "Oompf"?
                                                            
                       DEACON
What did I say?
                                                            
                       IZZY
No noise I've ever heard. I wasn't
talking about the food, anyhow. I
said "how WAS it" not "how is it".
And why would I ask how YOU liked
something YOU cooked?
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (shrugs)
Thought you didn't have anything
else to talk about. So, what was
the question?
                                                            
                       IZZY
Work. How was work?
                                                            
                       DEACON
It was okay. The job itself isn't
hard, and there're some cute
girls.
                                                            
Deacon takes a sip of wine.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Ooh, should I tell mom she can
expect a grandchild soon, so she
stops hounding me?
                                                            
Deacon gives an embarrassed CHUCKLE, nearly spitting out a
mouthfull of the wine he just consumed.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I didn't ask any of them to marry
me.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Did you talk to anyone? Make some
new friends?
                                                            

8.

                       DEACON
...Not exactly. Got pretty close
though. Why didn't you ask me any
of this in the car on the way
over?
                                                            
                       IZZY
Didn't want to not have anything
to talk about.
                                                            
Deacon and Izzy go back to eating their respective dinners,
going nearly two awkward minutes without a word to each
other.
                                                            
                       IZZY
So...how is it?
                                                            
Deacon looks at her in silence, rather than repeat the thing
about the peppers.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - CUBICLES - DAY
                                                            
Deacon enters the building, and making his way to his new
desk, notices the picture Milo had broken the day before
restored and back in its place on the wall.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Huh, they fixed it.
                                                            
Deacon sits at his desk and immediately gets to work.

His desk phone RINGS.

He answers.
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (into phone)
Deacon Mosby, senior processor.
                                                            
                       MILO (V.O.)
Milo Rickman. Unemployed.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Milo yesterday Milo?
                                                            
                       MILO (V.O.)
No. Rickman. I JUST said it. Hey,
what're you doing?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Nothing. Just doing, you know...
                                                            

9.

                       MILO (V.O.)
My job?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Sort of.
                                                            
                       MILO (V.O.)
Don't worry about it. I'm over it.
You busy later? Meet me at Scones
on Brighton Blvd.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Um...okay.
                                                            
Deacon hears the CLICK almost immediately.
                                                            
 
INT. S'CONES - NIGHT
                                                            
Deacon stands in the middle of what appears to be an ice
cream store. He looks around once, not seeing Milo amongst
the PLUS-SIZED PATRONS.
                                                            
                       MILO (O.S.)
Deacon.
                                                            
Deacon turns in the direction of the voice to see Milo
sitting at a lone table in the corner.

Milo is eating frozen yogurt from a Styrofoam cup when
Deacon sits down across from him.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Hey, I didn't see you there.
                                                            
                       MILO
There was some fat bitch sitting
with me. You should have seen her
inhale this waffle cone. Thought I
was going to lose an arm. I
fucking hate people who sit at
tables with strangers.
                                                            
                       DEACON
It's almost as bad as when someone
you don't know sits next to you in
a movie. What's up with that?
                                                            
                       MILO
I don't know, JERRY. What is up
with that? Aren't you due back at
the diner? George and Elaine must
be going mad wondering where you
            (MORE)

10.

                       MILO (cont'd)
are.
                                                            
Deacon doesn't look like he knows whether to be amused or
offended. He looks back at the menu on the wall.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'm not sure what I should get.
                                                            
He looks back at what Milo is eating.
                                                            
                       DEACON
That looks good. What is that,
brownie in there?
                                                            
Milo scoops two final bites into his mouth quickly and
pushes the cup aside.
                                                            
                       MILO
Yeah. It was awesome. Come on,
let's get out of here.
                                                            
Deacon's face reads "What the hell", but he leaves right
behind Milo nonetheless.
                                                            
 
EXT. SIDEWALK - NIGHT
                                                            
Milo walks, cigarette in mouth, while Deacon attempts to
keep up.
                                                            
                       DEACON
You know, when you invited me out,
I thought it'd be to a bar or
something.
                                                            
                       MILO
And then afterwards start a club
where we beat the hell out of each
other? It's been done.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Huh?
                                                            
                       MILO
You know they don't even sell
scones at that place? Either
change your name, or change your
menu!
                                                            

11.

                       DEACON
It's actually short for "Sweet
Cones". Doesn't have anything to
do with scones at all.
                                                            
                       MILO
What are you talking about?
                                                            
                       DEACON
The name of the ice cream place.
It used to be called Sweet Cones
back in the fifties. But due to
fear of sounding sexist or in an
attempt to remain hip, or both, I
suppose, they shortened it to
S'Cones. Ess apostrophe, then
Cones.
                                                            
                       MILO
The fuck is wrong with you? I
don't give a shit if it used to be
called Big Wet Vag, if you name
your store after a food, sell that
fucking food! I'd eat at Big Wet
Vag though. Assuming that was on
the menu.
                                                            
Deacon stops.

Milo stops as well, turning back to look at him with
curiosity.
                                                            
                       MILO
What happened? You got a cramp or
something?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Hey, Milo, I appreciate the
invite, but you're sort of...
                                                            
                       MILO
Pissed and acting like an asshole?
Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I have
this underlying hatred for you as
the guy who took my job, but I
know realistically it isn't your
fault. I've got a gun loaded with
rage in my hand and nothing to
hunt, so I hunt you, and I
apologize for that.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I...accept?
                                                            

12.

                       MILO
Good. Let's go grab a beer.
                                                            
Milo puts a friendly hand on Deacon's shoulder as they walk
side by side.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Milo and Deacon sit next to each other at the bar. They each
have a drink in front of them and look equally plastered.

The MUSIC from the jukebox practically drowns out the
CONVERSATIONS had by EVERYONE in the bar.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I used to have a dog named Milo.
When I was a kid.
                                                            
                       MILO
It's a good name.
                                                            
Milo takes a drink, thinks something over, has another
drink.
                                                            
                       MILO
I've never had anything named
Deacon before.
                                                            
                       DEACON
You have any family?
                                                            
                       MILO
Nope. Only child, parents dead.
                                                            
                       DEACON
My parents are dead, too. Except
my mom. I have a sister though.
Isabel.
                                                            
                       MILO
You know what I'd call her? Izzy.
                                                            
Deacon looks overly excited to have something in common with
Milo.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I do! I do call her Izzy! I call
her that!
                                                            
They both CHEER (sort of) and CLANK glasses.
                                                            

13.

                       MILO
Did Natalie ever go back to work?
I talked to her, and she said it
wasn't right that they fired me...
                                                            
                       DEACON
It wasn't! Except I got a job out
of it.
                                                            
                       MILO (cont'd)
...and that she was striking until
I got rehired. I told her "don't".
But you know women.
                                                            
                       DEACON
She did. She's striking, cause I
haven't seen her. I've never seen
Natalie.
                                                            
                       MILO
Good for her! I hope she has money
put away, cause life's hard
without money. That's my motto.
                                                            
The BARTENDER approaches the two men.
                                                            
                       MILO
I'm pretty drunk. I think we've
had enough.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
I think you've had enough.
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (To Bartender)
He just said that!
                                                            
The bartender slides something to Deacon.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
I'm cutting you off. Here's your
card back.
                                                            
Deacon finishes his drink and grabs his credit card from the
under the bartender's hand.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I paid?
                                                            
He looks at the card, perplexed.
                                                            
 

14.

EXT. BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Deacon exits the bar first, Milo behind him still carrying
his glass.
                                                            
                       DEACON
How'd you get out with that?
                                                            
Milo stares at the glass in hand, realizing just now the he
has it.
                                                            
                       MILO
They didn't even try and stop me.
I should have taken something
better.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Like the jukebox.
                                                            
                       MILO
Or the waitress.
                                                            
They both LAUGH.

Milo throws the glass.

It smashes in the street.
                                                            
                       MILO
Let's go to your sister's house.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Okay.
                                                            
They both walk off in opposite directions.
                                                            
 
INT. IZZY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Deacon wakes up on the sofa. He smacks his lips at what
appears to be a horrible taste in his mouth.
                                                            
                       IZZY (O.S.)
Tasting that vomit, are we?
                                                            
Deacon sits up as Izzy sits down, dressed and hair wet fresh
from the shower, with a coffee cup in hand. She offers it to
Deacon.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Here. Drink this.
                                                            
Milo waves the cup away.
                                                            

15.

                       MILO
I don't drink coffee.
                                                            
                       IZZY
It's not coffee. It's beer.
                                                            
                       MILO
What? Why is it in a coffee cup?
                                                            
                       IZZY
Because, it's the morning. Drink
it. It'll help with the hangover.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I don't have a hangover.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Lucky you.
                                                            
Izzy drinks it herself.

Milo comes into the living room from down the hall. He is
naked except for a towel around his waist, his hair also
shower fresh.
                                                            
                       MILO
      (To Deacon)
Mornin' sunshine.
                                                            
Deacon looks from freshly-showered Milo to freshly-showered
Izzy (who ignores Milo completely) and back to Milo again.
                                                            
                       DEACON
You didn't?
                                                            
                       IZZY
Hm?
                                                            
                       MILO
      (To Izzy)
Hey, Iz. I know you slept well.
                                                            
Milo smiles and winks at her.

Deacon lunges at Milo from the couch, shoving him against
the wall.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Son of a bitch!
                                                            
Deacon readies a good strong punch for Milo.

Izzy stands from the couch, startled by what is happening.

16.

From Izzy's point of view, Deacon is standing alone, yelling
at the wall.

Deacon punches the wall as hard as he can.

Izzy flinches, in shock.

From Deacon's perspective, Milo is holding his face in pain,
blood gushing from his nose.
                                                            
                       MILO
Ow! What the fuck!?!
                                                            
Izzy rushes to Deacon.

The two of them are alone in the room now. She grabs
Deacon's "punchin' hand" and examines the bloody scrapes
along his knuckles.
                                                            
                       IZZY
What the christ, Deac? Look at
your hand.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Don't worry. The blood isn't mine.
                                                            
                       IZZY
The shit it's not! I just watched
you punch a hole in my goddamn
wall!
                                                            
                       DEACON
I punched a hole in your what?
                                                            
Milo, again in front of Deacon, stands against the wall. His
face is clear of any blood or injury. He turns around to see
the massive blood-covered crack in the wall behind him.

In addition, he is completely dry, and dressed as well.
                                                            
                       MILO
      (feels face)
Oh, thank god.
      (notices clothes)
When did I get dressed?
                                                            
                       IZZY
      (to Deacon)
Let's go to the kitchen and get
this looked at.
                                                            
Izzy pulls Deacon with her towards the kitchen, walking
straight THROUGH Milo on her way, as if he isn't there.

17.


Milo and Deacon SCREAM in horror at this sight of this.

Izzy jumps at the sound of Deacon's SCREAM and turns to look
back at him.
                                                            
                       IZZY
What? What is it? Did I hurt you?
                                                            
Deacon looks from Milo to Izzy. Both he and Milo's faces are
white as ghosts.
                                                            
                       DEACON
      (to Izzy)
Uh...yes. Ouch.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Sorry. I didn't realize you were
in that much pain.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Yeah...maybe I should see a
doctor.
                                                            
Deacon and Milo stare at each other, worried.
                                                            
INT. IZZY'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - LATER
                                                            
Deacon pretends like everything is okay as he waves with his
bandaged hand out the open front door to Izzy who is driving
away in her car.

He shuts the door once she is out of sight and turns around,
startled to find Milo standing directly behind him.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Ah!
                                                            
                       MILO
Sorry! What the hell is happening
to me?
                                                            
                       DEACON
I don't know. Are you a...a ghost?
                                                            
                       MILO
Oh my god, I'm a ghost!
                                                            
Milo has a look of shock as if he believes this to be
absolutely true.
                                                            
INT. IZZY'S HOUSE - OFFICE - LATER
                                                            

18.

Milo sits at the computer. Deacon stands behind him.

Milo types away at the keyboard, watching the different
internet screens pop up.
                                                            
                       MILO
There! Milo Rickman. Born 1977,
died 1993...holy crap, it's true.
                                                            
                       DEACON
What?! You're not even typing
anything.
                                                            
Deacon, a confused look on his face, stares at that of a
blank computer screen.
                                                            
ON COMPUTER SCREEN
                                                            
The screen is indeed blank, and in fact, not even on.

The glass reflects only Deacon. Milo is nowhere in sight.
                                                            
BACK TO SCENE
                                                            
Milo stares at the blank screen in awe.
                                                            
                       MILO
This must be witchcraft.
                                                            
                       DEACON
You're a ghost. You're seeing what
you want to see, when in reality,
you aren't doing anything. Like in
that Bruce Willis movie.
                                                            
                       MILO
Die Hard?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Yes, like in the supernatural
thriller, Die Hard.
                                                            
Milo gets up from the computer.
                                                            
                       MILO
That is so depressing.
                                                            
Deacon sits down and switches the computer on.
                                                            
 

19.

INT. IZZY'S HOUSE - OFFICE - NIGHT
                                                            
Milo looks extremely bored sitting in a chair in the corner
of the room, while Deacon, looking exhausted and tired as
hell, continues in his quest for any info he can find on the
net.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'm getting nothing on you here.
You're a hard man to find, Mr.
Bond.
                                                            
                       MILO
That, I don't think, is a quote
from any of the James Bonds.
                                                            
                       DEACON
It's in one of the books,
probably.
                                                            
                       MILO
So, what? I just don't exist?
                                                            
                       IZZY (O.S.)
Deac, you here?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Iz is home from work. We'll look
more tomorrow.
                                                            
Deacon switches off the computer and exits the room.
                                                            
                       MILO
Take your time. It's not like I'm
going anywhere.
                                                            
Milo sits in the dark, staring across the room, lost in
thought.
                                                            
 
INT. IZZY'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Deacon and Izzy sit on opposite sides of the kitchen table,
having dinner.

At the head of the table, Milo, whom Izzy does not see, sits
with a plate of food in front of him.
                                                            
                       IZZY
You want to talk about what
happened today?
                                                            

20.

                       DEACON
Not really. Sorry about your wall.
I'll fix it.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Don't worry about the wall. I'm
worried about you.
                                                            
                       MILO
      (to Izzy)
Him? What about me? I'm the one
who's been dead the whole time!
      (to Deacon)
Tell her about the Die Hard thing.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Do you remember when you were a
kid and you had that puppy?
                                                            
                       MILO
Milo.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Right. Milo. The puppy.
                                                            
                       IZZY
I'd forgotten its name. Do you
remember what happened to Milo?
                                                            
                       DEACON
He got sick. Dad had to put him
down.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Yes, and then a couple of years
later, Mom and Dad told you the
truth. You do remember, don't you?
                                                            
Deacon smiles, though there is concern in his eyes.
                                                            
                       DEACON
How could I forget something like
that?
                                                            
                       IZZY
It was so hard for them to explain
to a five year-old that the pet he
so desperately loved was a figment
of his imagination.
                                                            
Milo's jaw drops.
                                                            

21.

                       MILO
What did she just say?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Uh, what? Figment?
                                                            
                       IZZY
I felt bad for them. I felt bad
for you, too. You cried for months
over the death of something that
never really existed to begin
with. I just don't know how I
would deal if you went through
that again.
                                                            
Deacon just stares at his sister, in complete wonder of what
she's getting at.
                                                            
                       DEACON
What are you saying, Iz?
                                                            
                       IZZY
I guess I want to know...you're
not seeing Milo again, are you
Deac?
                                                            
It hits Deacon all at once.
                                                            
                       DEACON
No, of course not! I'm not crazy,
Isabel. Is that what you're asking
me?
                                                            
Izzy's eyes go to the empty place setting at the head of the
table.
                                                            
                       IZZY
Then what's with the plate?
                                                            
Milo looks down at his plate to see it is completely clean
with the fork sitting neatly next to it, as if never
touched.
                                                            
                       MILO
Ah, dude. That's messed up.
                                                            
Deacon stares at the empty plate in front of Milo,
speechless.
                                                            
 

22.

INT. DEACON'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Milo sits on the couch, having a bowl of cereal and watching
cartoons.

Deacon, having just woken up, enters the room.
                                                            
                       MILO
Mornin'. Just watching some old
school Bugs Bunny. Oh wait, no I'm
not.
                                                            
Deacon notices the television is off.
                                                            
                       MILO
That's alright though. At least I
still have this delicious bowl of
NOTHING.
                                                            
Milo shows his empty hands to Deacon. The bowl of cereal has
vanished.

He stands up off the couch, outraged.
                                                            
                       MILO
What the hell, Deacon? You thought
me up? I'm a figment of your
imagination?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Why are YOU so mad? I'm the one
who's out of his mind.
                                                            
                       MILO
No, I'M out of your mind. You're
just insane. I can't live like
this, knowing that I'm not real.
What am I supposed to do? When I
AM able to put you out of my mind,
so to speak, for five minutes, I
can imagine that I'm actually
doing something like eating or
watching television. But whenever
you're around, which apparently
has to be always since I can't
exist without you, it reminds me
that I'm make believe and so is
everything I'm doing. Which
doesn't make any sense since I
don't even have a brain to conjure
these things up with!
                                                            

23.

                       DEACON
What do you want me to say?
                                                            
                       MILO
You can't say anything. Think
something. Think I'm somewhere
else. Imagine I'm in Maui with a
beautiful woman and keep me there.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I...I'm not sure how to do that.
                                                            
                       MILO
Not sure? You've been doing it.
You imagined you took my job. You
imagined I slept with your sister,
which if you ask me, is pretty
fucked up, and you're imagining
I'm stuck in your shitty apartment
with you complaining that I'm not
really in this shitty apartment
with you.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'm not doing any of this on
purpose, you know. I don't know
how it works, and if it were up to
me, you wouldn't be here at all.
You think I want to be crazy? I'm
still trying to wrap my head
around this.
                                                            
                       MILO
Then kill me.
                                                            
                       DEACON
What?
                                                            
                       MILO
Go in the kitchen and grab a
knife. Come back out here and
stick it in my chest.
                                                            
                       DEACON
That's idiotic. It won't work.
Besides, I wouldn't do it if it
did.
                                                            
                       MILO
You just said yourself I wouldn't
be here if it were up to you. It
is up to you, Deacon. Mur. Der.
Me.
                                                            

24.

Deacon remains quiet.
                                                            
                       MILO
Fine, I'll do it myself.
                                                            
Milo exits into the kitchen and returns with a knife.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Don't do that. It isn't going to
work.
                                                            
                       MILO
Let's find out.
                                                            
Milo uses both hands to force the blade into his chest.

Deacon GASPS.

Milo is a little surprised as well. He drops to his knees,
the knife protruding from his bloody chest.
                                                            
                       MILO
Oh God...
                                                            
                       DEACON
No! I won't let you!
                                                            
Milo falls over onto the floor, dead.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Goddamn it, Milo! You're not dead!
Now get up!
                                                            
Milo opens his eyes. He looks down at his chest to discover
the knife and wound are both gone.
                                                            
                       MILO
Fucking ass, man! I'd done it! I
was dead! You brought me back? Do
you know how much that hurt? It
hurt a lot! Do you know what it's
like to be stabbed to death?
Should I stab you next, so you can
find out?
                                                            
Milo has an epiphany.
                                                            
                       MILO
I should stab you...
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'm sorry. I just--what was that
about stabbing me?
                                                            

25.

                       MILO
If I stab you, you'll die. And
when you die, I die. Get it?
                                                            
Milo approaches Deacon, again a knife in hand.

Deacon backs away.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Whoa, hold on there with that. It
wouldn't work anyway. You don't
really have a knife. You don't
even really exist.
                                                            
                       MILO
Then why do you look scared? I'll
tell you why, because sometimes
the mind can play tricks. If you
believe I am killing you, your
brain may send that same message
to your heart. It's like when
someone dies in a dream and they
die in real life, because their
brain thinks it's really
happening.
                                                            
                       DEACON
That's...not true, is it?
                                                            
                       MILO
It has to be. If I know it, it's
only because you read it
somewhere.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Shit, you're right.
                                                            
Milo lunges at Deacon.

Deacon climbs over the couch to get away and disappears into
the hallway.

Milo follows.
                                                            
INT. DEACON'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN
                                                            
Deacon runs past the refrigerator in his escape from the
knife-wielding Milo. He opens the freezer door as he passes
it.

The door swings behind Deacon, hitting Milo square in the
face.


26.

Milo goes down hard.

Deacon stares in amazement at what he's done.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Wow, I've always wanted to do
that.
                                                            
Police SIRENS sound from somewhere nearby.
                                                            
                       MILO
You conjured the cops?
                                                            
                       DEACON
I did. It worked.
                                                            
Milo gets to his feet.
                                                            
                       MILO
That you can do, but you can't put
me on a fake plane to somewhere
fake nice?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Sorry. I can try and make your
prison cell less rape-y.
                                                            
                       MILO
How about altogether NON rape-y?
Like, at all.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'll do my best, but I can't make
any promises.
                                                            
A fist POUNDS on the outside of the front door.
                                                            
                       COP (O.S.)
Milo Rickman, you are under arrest
for attempted murder! Come out
with your hands up!
                                                            
                       MILO
I'm going to jail now?
                                                            
                       DEACON
Looks that way. Again, really
sorry. The mind wants what it
wants.
                                                            
                       MILO
I wish I was still a puppy.
                                                            

27.

And with those last words, Milo vanishes in the blink of an
eye, at the same moment, the pounding on the door ceases.

Deacon is filled with a sense of relief.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE - CUBICLES - DAY
                                                            
Deacon sits at his desk. He types away, but his attention
keeps going to Natalie's unoccupied desk, where her computer
collects dust.

Deacon stands and looks over his cubicle wall to the cubicle
woman.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Excuse me, ma'am. Do you know when
Natalie is coming back?
                                                            
                       CUBICLE WOMAN
I'm sorry, I don't know of any
Natalie.
                                                            
                       DEACON
She sits right over here. She's
been gone for almost two weeks.
                                                            
The woman stands to look at Natalie's desk.
                                                            
                       CUBICLE WOMAN
Oh, no one sits there. That desk
doesn't even have a computer.
                                                            
Deacon looks back at the desk, to find it completely empty:
no chair, no computer, nothing.
                                                            
 
INT. PRISON - VISITOR'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Milo, garbed in an olive-colored prison jumpsuit, sits at a
center table.

Deacon enters the room, carrying with him a Tupperware full
of food, and sits down across from Milo.
                                                            
                       MILO
Hey.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Hi. How you holding up in here?
                                                            

28.

                       MILO
So far, so good. No one's tried to
rape me yet. Though, I'm not sure
if I should be insulted by that.
                                                            
                       DEACON
You want some attention from the
other prisoners, because I might
be able to make it happen.
                                                            
They share a LAUGH.
                                                            
                       MILO
How'd you get them to let you in
here?
                                                            
                       DEACON
I'm visiting Louis Morton. He's in
for manslaughter. Just the first
name I saw in the paper. We should
make this quick before he shows
up. Not really all that excited to
meet him.
                                                            
                       MILO
Let's make it fast. I can't wait
to get back to whatever prison
adventure you have planned for me
next.
                                                            
                       DEACON
I brought you something.
                                                            
Just then, Natalie sits down next to Deacon. She smiles at
Milo.
                                                            
                       MILO
Natalie?
                                                            
                       DEACON
What? No, lasagna.
                                                            
Deacon slides the lasagna over to Milo, who is focused
completely on Natalie.

Natalie smiles at him, silent.

A nearby prison guard, watches curiously as Deacon, sitting
solo at the table, slides the empty Tupperware to no one.
                                                            
                       DEACON
There's something you should know.
I don't think Natalie exists. I
think it was just someone I
            (MORE)

29.

                       DEACON (cont'd)
imagined you knew. Or maybe she's
YOUR imaginary friend.
                                                            
Deacon CHUCKLES to himself at this notion.

Milo smiles at that idea, still looking at Natalie.
                                                            
                       MILO
MY imaginary friend...
                                                            
Natalie puts a finger to her lips, shushing Milo.
                                                            
                       DEACON
Anyway, I should get going. The
guards are starting to look at me
funny. I'll see ya though.
                                                            
                       MILO
      (Looking at
       Natalie)
Yeah, thanks for the lasagna.
                                                            
Deacon stands and makes his way towards the exit, leaving
Milo and Natalie alone at the table.
                                                            
                       MILO
      (to Natalie)
I'm glad you're not a puppy.
                                                            
Milo and Natalie stare and smile at each other as Deacon
leaves the building.

The door slams behind Deacon, and Milo and Natalie vanish in
the same instant, leaving only the empty Tupperware on the
table top.
                                                            


THE END


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From Kevin Mitchell Date 10/2/2008 ***
I started getting confused by page 14 but I got it in the end. I liked the story and some of the dialogue was clever. Good job.

From Kevin Isaacson Date 9/13/2008 ***
I like the concept of this story. It's a difficult idea but you make it easy to follow which suprised me to tell you the truth. I thought I was going to get lost and you pulled everything together. I agree that this could be a very good feature length film. Comedy, yet with some touching poignant segments.

From David Chase Date 9/8/2008 ***
I liked the premise of this one, but my major complaint is that it's too short. I could really see this being feature length, which would allow for a lot more slapstick type comedy as Deacon attempts to cope with the situation. It could be a lot funnier if it were approached as more of a screwball comedy, which is what I think you should aim for.


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