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Rent Money
by Travis Watters (choice@eccw.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
Two lovable losers are desperate to come up with the rent, the landlord is on their ass and they find themselves in the most precarious positions.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. SCHOOL 1978 - DAY
                                                            
The camera is tight on the door and it reads Principal Harry
Tuft . The camera pans out and reveals two 7 year old boys
sitting on a bench out side the office .The door flies open
and Principal Tuft sticks his head out.He is an over weight
englishman in a 70's suit,with grey hair, yellow teeth and a
beard.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
Jimmy, Duane, march into my
office immediately,
                                                            
YOUNG JIMMY AND DUANE ENTER THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
Sit boys.
                                                            
The principal motions his hand to the chair for the 2 boys
to sit .They slowly move to the chairs and sit .. a long
dramatic pause as the principal paces the floor with the
strap slapping in his hand.He starts to speak, still pacing
around the 2 boys like a wolf around his prey.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
We here at Sir Wilfred Laurier
Annex Believe in nothing but the
highest in Academic Achievement
........and like to think we use
nothing but the King's
English............But today
boys..I'm gonna give it to you
straight ... I'm no stranger to
mischief...I can remember back in
grade school at the Sadie Hawkins
dance where the curfew was set at
8 o'clock, and yours truly Harry
Tuft strolled in with wanton
disregard at a quarter
after...........Well I was
punished to the fullest
extent!(straps desk)..............
accepted responsibility(straps
desk).......and moved on with my
life...I grew up!...there comes a
time in every mans life when he
must grow up......If you two don't
grow up now...you will grow up to
be LOSERS !!! (straps desk)
                                                            
 

2.

INT. PRESENT DAY - DAY
                                                            
(present day)Duane is sleeping on the love seat, Jimmy is
sleeping on the couch.Duane wakes up,looks around.., looks
at the clock.... wakes up Jimmy.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ahh Shiiit we're late
again,Jimmy! I thought you said
you set the alarm you stupid ass.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I did !
                                                            
                       DUANE
Oh look! So you did, It's going to
go off at 6:30 tonight, ASSHOLE...
Grab your shit, I already have one
rolled.Lets get the fuck out of
here. You're pushing!
                                                            
The 2 guys get their stuff together as quickly as possible
and fly out the door.
                                                            
 
EXT. BOYS JUMP START THE CAR, JIMMY PUSHES - DAY
                                                            
We start the scene with Duane in thre old rusty beater car
and Jimmy at the back of it,ready to start pushing.
                                                            
                       DUANE
start pushing!
                                                            
As Duane tells Jimmy to push, you see him put on the hand
brake. Jimmy tries with all his might, but the car won't
budge . .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Holy shit dude,you got the brake
on or something ?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Oh.....I guess it is...Sorry Bro.
                                                            
Duane, still snickering to himself takes off the hand brake.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ok....Hit it kid
                                                            
The camera pans to the doorway to reveal old lady spoon with
a smoke hanging from her mouth
                                                            

3.

                       LANDLORD
Hey fuck faces!.... where's my
rent money!!!
                                                            
Jimmy starts to push the car,it slowly starts to move and
then gain speed. The car starts,Jimmy is running to get into
the car as he yells at old lady spoon ......
                                                            
                       JIMMY
We'll have it to you tonight!
we have to go ....see you a bit
later
                                                            
 
INT. THE TWO BOYS ARE IN THE CAR DRIVING TO WORK - DAY
                                                            
Jimmy jumps in the car and they speed away
                                                            
                       DUANE
Get it to her tonight? like hell
we will
                                                            
                       JIMMY
No shit....I had to tell her
something
                                                            
Credits start to roll as the George Thorougood song "One
bourbon,one scotch,one beer" plays. The boys spark a joint
and drive to work
                                                            
 
EXT. PULL UP TO BACK ALLEY OF SHOP - DAY
                                                            
The song starts to fade as the two boys pull up, get out of
the car, and start walking to the back steps of the building
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Why are we going in the back?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Because we can sneak in the back
and change, he might not even know
we are late. (They hit knuckles)
                                                            
 
EXT. THE TWO BOYS ARE AT BACK DOOR - DAY
                                                            
The two boys walk up the steps to the back door.
                                                            
Jimmy stops and lights up a joint
                                                            

4.

                       DUANE
What the fuck are you doing,we
have to get in there,we're late as
it is!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (puffing on joint)
Don't worry man,Mr Singh never
gets here before 10,and my watch
says 10-2. A quick puff and then
we'll nail it
                                                            
Jimmy offers the joint over to Duane.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Well....lets smoke the damn thing
then and get in there.
                                                            
Duane takes a fancy toke off the joint
                                                            
they take a few quick puffs off the joint and head into the
donut shop
                                                            
 
INT. DONUT SHOP - DAY
                                                            
The two boys enter the back door as quietly as they can
                                                            
                       STORE OWNER (East Indian Accent)
      (OC)
Is that you boys?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Ahh, yeah, it's us ,we ... we were
just coming from the freezer, so
we have our coats on,talk about a
day, we've been cleaning,and stuff
..been here since 8 am .....in the
back and uhh..busy as hell
                                                            
The store owner walks up to the boys.He is a typical east
indian gentelman with a turbin.he also has a very thick
east indian acssent
                                                            
                       STORE OWNER
There seems to be a slight
discrepancy here. Where as you two
claim that you have been here
since 8 am, very busy working
around store,my new security
camera shows both of you showing
up at 10 am, and smoking marijuana
cigarette before you come into
shop........You guys are 35 years
            (MORE)

5.

                       STORE OWNER (cont'd)
old.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
uhhh.......34
                                                            
                       STORE OWNER
For the love of GOD,ok,You guys
are 34 years old and work at donut
shop with a bunch of High School
Students......Do you think you
will ever meet nice girl wearing
paper hat? I'm sorry boys,I have
to let you go...Here's 200
dollars..mainly because I feel
sorry for you..But I think I am
doing you a favor..34 years old
wearing paper hat? people make
jokes about that that kind of
shit.(heavy sigh)...........Good
luck boys.
                                                            
He gives the boys the 200 hundred dollars and they walk out
the door.
                                                            
The camera pans to his wife and his young east indian child
talks punjab to his mother, a caption at the bottom reads
"You were right mom,these guys are losers"
                                                            
 
EXT. TO BOYS LEAVE THE DONUT SHOP . PISSED OFF THEY - DAY
                                                            
the two boys sit in the car and slam the doors hard
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Now what asshole?...We're fucked
                                                            
                       DUANE
We're not Fucked!...... We have
200 dollars here!.....We can make
a fresh start...Do the right thing
(gets emotional)Buddy..lets face
it..our lives have been one big
pile of shit after another....I'm
really getting tired of it man.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (emotional)
Me too man.......me too
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (emotional)
Let's take this money.... put it
towards the rent, and start
            (MORE)

6.

                       DUANE (cont'd)
turning our lives around.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (slowly nodding)
Let's do it man.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Do it for kimmy...So she will see
im the man for her and take me
Back.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Kimmy.....?...Why are you all
hoooked up on that girl...You know
she doesn't love you .
                                                            
duane stops and grabs jimmy by the arm.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Dude...Can you just understan that
i love that girl and we where ment
to be together....Please
bro...just understand...
                                                            
They take a long pause ...Jimmy looks around and then looks
at Duane and smiles.
                                                            
The two boys embrace,then start to walk to the car.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR INTERIOR - DAY
                                                            
Duane starts the car and they get ready to drive away
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (happy)
Are you hungry man?..Lets go get a
bite.
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (happy)
........Well..........I suppose a
small bite wouldn't hurt..and
maybe ONE beer
                                                            
The boys high five
                                                            
                       DUANE
What's your fancy?
                                                            
As the car pulls away
                                                            

7.

                                         FADE
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS ARE INSIDE A STRIP CLUB - DAY
                                                            
ONE HOUR LATER ........
                                                            
Jimmy and Duane are throwing bills at the stage and acting
like idiots,Jimmy has panties on his head.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Whooooooo!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah man!She's looking right at
us!........ Right at us!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I think I'm in love! .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Oh my god,me too man... What a
body.....look at that ass!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I'm going to do more than just
look at it....watch this kid..she
is going to love it!
                                                            
Jimmy slaps one of the strippers on the ass
                                                            
the stripper stops dancing annd looks at the boys then at
the two huge men at the door
                                                            
                       STRIPPER
Hey Tony .....Get these two
assholes out here would ya
                                                            
Two ugly bouncers grab the boys...beat the living shit out
of them and start to man handdle the two boys to the door
                                                            
 
INT. EXIT STAGE LEFT - NIGHT
                                                            
The back door of the club flies open and Duane is thrown
down the flight stairs and lands on the hard concrete.as he
trys to get to his feet yelling at the door men who have
just thrown him out .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey assholes, my brother is still
in there! .........You better
be......
                                                            

8.

Just as Duane is yelling at the bouncers, Jimmy gets thrown
out the same door and down the stairs to land on the ground
right beside his brother .
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (pause)
......Never mind .
                                                            
The two boys pick themselves up off the ground and limp
away,badly beaten.
                                                            
 
INT. IN THERE BEDS HUNG TO THE TITS - DAY
                                                            
The camera pans out on the two boys, Duane is waking up on
the couch, and Jimmy is half out of it on the love seat
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ohhhh.....man .....I listen to
you.....and it's a screw up
everytime.
                                                            
Jimmy (not listening) grabs his stomach and then his head to
try and block out the talking .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I don't know if I'm going to puke
or shit myself .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Well why don't you shoot yourself
before you shit yourself because
we are officially screwed .We
seriously, right now.......have
fuck all.
                                                            
jimmy slowly sits up and gets himself together
                                                            
                       JIMMY
don't worry any ay now ...we will
both get saweeet jobs...you'll
see.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy...Any day now is not good
enough...we're already behind a
month and the first is two god
damn days away!.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
All we have to do is avoid Old
lady Spoon for a couple weeks and
we'll be fine.
                                                            

9.

                       DUANE
How in the fuck are we going to
avoid that old bag for 3 weeks?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
If she knocks.... Just pretend
we're not home .
                                                            
just then then ther is a knock at the door .the two boys
look at each other and jimmy motions with his finger to his
lips as a shhhhhhhhhhhhh motion
                                                            
Just then ,the door gets kicked off the hinges
                                                            
 
INT. LANDLORD KICKS IN DOOR - DAY
                                                            
The door flies open to reveal an old battle axe .She is
short and dumpy, a belligerent old bitch .She is an avocado
on toothpicks. She has saggy tits and a gunt . Her hair is
in rollers all the time and she wears wat to much make up.
she always has a cigarette going in her rottin tooth mouth
and talks with what you think is a hair lip but its not...
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Helloooo... phuck phaces
                                                            
She takes a pause and looks at the two boys and and once
around the room .she starts to slowly walk over to them....
taking her time to look over the entire apartment like a
super cop as she power smokes a cigarette
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Did ya miss me? long time no
seeee!
                                                            
the two boys sit very nervous on the couch and love seat as
old lady spoon walks over to them
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hello Mrs Silverspoon ,how was
your ......
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Oh Shut the phuck up! Would ya?
                                                            
The old lady slowly walks up to the couch and love seat
where the two boys are sitting up and at full atention by
this time .
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Not sleeping together eh? Whats
the matter,get into a lovers
tiff?... heeeeeeeeeeeee
            (MORE)

10.

                       LANDLORD (cont'd)
heeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeee
                                                            
As she points at Duane , an old hiss like cackle comes out
of her throat as she laughs at the boys,exposing her rotten
teeth.
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Look boys,its bad enough that two
grown men live in this bachelor
suite .But you live like a couple
of fucking pigs
                                                            
She picks up a pair of skid marked underwear. with a sick
discusted look on her face she holds it up for the boys to
see
                                                            
The two boys look at each other and the look at the shit
marked underwear.
                                                            
                       DUANE
oh ,I've been meaning to do a
wash.... I'll put those in the
dirty pile
                                                            
Duane pulls the shit stained underwear out of old lady
spoons hand and tosses it across the room
                                                            
                       DUANE
Mrs. Silverspoon we ARE going to
have this months rent for you... .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
YES we will
                                                            
the two boys seen very confident that they will have her
rent .
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Well that's excellent,you are
going to have my rent this
month....... only one fucking
problem
                                                            
there is a pause as she looks at the two boys and the boys
have a blank star on there faces as if they dont understand
what she meens
                                                            
.
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
you still phucking owe me from
last month!
                                                            

11.

The landlord kicks a garbage can and shit flies everywhere
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
You assholes got two phucking days
to get it allllll to me... Or your
scrawny little asses will be out
on the fucking street. . I could
rent this out to an asain family
and get double the rent for this
shit hole .
                                                            
She exits the suite and slams the door on the way out....
she pops her head back in the door and yells
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
fix this door to would ya .
                                                            
slams the door behind her and the door slowly opens as it
will not shut any more
                                                            
the two boys still sitting on the couch now slouch back in
to the seats and relax a bit
                                                            
                       DUANE
well buddy lets pack up .... It's
a midnight move I guess.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Midnight move? And lose this love
shack? .... Dude this is the
nicest apartment we have ever had.
                                                            
the camera pans around the room . to reveal the worst hell
hole you could ever want to live in. Its a studio with a
couch and love seat the boys take turns sleeping on ,with a
hot plate beside it and there is garbage every where
                                                            
                       DUANE
True .... but you heard the old
lady.....we cant get jobs and pay
the rent in two days.
                                                            
Jimmy has a look on his face like the light went on
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Don't worry ... We'll go see the
old man......He is always good for
a few hundred bucks.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hell yeah ..All we have to do is
tell him we'll pay him back some
time soon ....you know how it
works....It's all good brother ...
            (MORE)

12.

                       DUANE (cont'd)
The old man will understand!
                                                            
The two boys hi five and start to get ready to go to head
over to Dad's . they get some stuff together and look at the
door as it will not lock now
                                                            
fade to black
                                                            
 
INT. AT THE OLD MAN'S - DAY
                                                            
The camera fades in on both boys throated against the wall,
We only see dad's forarms with an old school tattoo on each
fore arm and the boys in the shot.We never see dad,just his
arms and hear him yelling at the boys
                                                            
                       THE OLD MAN
Are you fucking kidding me? You
wastes of space want money from
me? Everything you two touch turns
to shit . I'm sick and tired of
bailing you two ass-wipes out of
trouble .I will knock you two the
fuck out before I ever give you
another red fucking cent.
                                                            
Dad grabs Jimmy extra hard and starts to yell at jimmy
                                                            
                       THE OLD MAN
I got you that job at the
mill...(pause) and what
                                                            
[flash back] to Jimmy at the mill with his arm caught in one
of the big machines getting sucked in to it yelling and
screaming.
                                                            
                       THE OLD MAN
you fucked that up !!!!!
                                                            
The Dad turns to Duane and grabs his neck extra hard and
starts yelling at him
                                                            
                       THE OLD MAN
I got you that job at the scrap
yard... and what
                                                            
[flash back] Duane under a car yelling and
screaming...kicking his feet. A Mexican worker speaks a
latin sentence and the caption below reads "what a fucking
idiot"
                                                            

13.

                       THE OLD MAN
you fucked that up!!!!
                                                            
                       THE OLD MAN
Now get the hell outta my house
before I fuck you two losers up .
                                                            
Dad's hand opens the door with no effort throws the two boy
out of his house and the two boys fly out of the house and
on to the front lawn
                                                            
 
EXT. THE FRONT LAWN AT DAD'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
The boys moan and grown as they slowly get up off the front
lawn .the old man next door is out triming his hedge and he
looks and shakes his head at the two boys .tghey get up and
Jimmy starts to walk towards the door
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hey Dad, there must be some work
around the hou.........
                                                            
Dad slams the door in the boys face . You here a voice from
inside the house say " Now Fuck Off" .You hear him throw
some shit around inside the house like an old bear,cursing
and swearing
                                                            
Jimmy turns back around to Duane and looks pissed off
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Oh great .... The old man will
under stand hey ? We're lucky we
didn't get fucking killed in
there..
                                                            
                       DUANE
Whoa , no shit ..... he didnt take
it like i thought he would .. now
what ?
                                                            
Jimmy dusts him self off and puts up the knuckles but Duane
hesitates
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Well, it can only get better from
here.
                                                            
Duane stops and think for a second and then he gets a
smile on his face he then hits knuckles as if to say ya it
can only get better from here
                                                            

14.

                       DUANE
Well it can't get any fucking
worse
                                                            
 
EXT. WALKING FROM DAD'S - DAY
                                                            
The two boys get ready to leave Dad's .jimmy and looks at
Duane.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hey.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ya.....
                                                            
                       JIMMY
let's go see burn out willy and
cuff some weed till payday ..Go
home smoke some and Look for
work..
                                                            
Jimmy throws devil horns in the air and them shifts the gear
on the car .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ok....Let's go see willy.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
you got it pontiac..
                                                            
Jimmy snaps fingers and points at Duane and pulls the car
away...
                                                            
 
EXT. AT BURN OUT WILLY'S - DAY
                                                            
The two boys pull in the driveway and walk up to the front
door of an old run down house. It's beat up and there is
shit all over the lawn.looks like and old run down junk
house. The boys knock on the door
                                                            
you hear all the locks unlock as the two boys look at each
other and the door slowly opens Burnout Willy apears
                                                            
                       BURN OUT WILLY
Hey you crazy cats , it's my
brothers from different
mothers..... you got one to smoke
with your pal Willie? .. A friend
with weed is a friend indeed.
                                                            

15.

willy shakes ther hand and invites them in The boys enter
the house and willy follows behind . not before he takes a
quick look around the neighbor hood as if he is parinoid
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy, we got no weed , we got no
jobs, we don't have a pot to
fucking piss in.
                                                            
Jimmy opens the fridge and there is nothing in there except
a McDonald's cup half full of orange drink.
                                                            
                       BURN OUT WILLY
I've been meaning to get
groceries............Lets go
daddy-o's.. I got a stash of hash
that will give you a rash ...
                                                            
Willy reaches into his pocket to revil an huge chunk of
black hash
                                                            
                       KIMMY
The stash of the hash ......
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS ARE DOING HOT KNIVES WITH WILLY - DAY
                                                            
The boys make their way to the kitchen to do hot knives with
willy . the knifes are already on the stove and red hot
                                                            
willy gives duane a big blade tock that almost makes him
caugh up a lung
                                                            
                       DUANE
Fuck, thats good hash Willy
                                                            
                       KIMMY
Oh yeah baby... that's cuz that
shit is straight from (singing)
wham bam Amsterdam , ya ya ya .
Now give me a toke,brother
                                                            
Jimmy gives Willy a toke as Duane looks in fridge and
cobords for food .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Do ya think we can get some weed
till payday.
                                                            
Both boys stop what they are doing to look at willy who is
giving them the thumbs up while he is still holding in his
toke .Willy blows out the smoke and has a head rush....
looks at both the boys after collecting his thoughts
                                                            

16.

                       BURN OUT WILLY
Ya let's get you some weed.
                                                            
they all leave the kitchen and make ther way down to the
basement
                                                            
 
EXT. WILLY'S DRIVEWAY - DAY
                                                            
the two boys are out on the front porch saying good bye to
willy.willy takes a qick look around the niegbour hood then
slams the door behind then and jump in the car.
                                                            
 
EXT. IN CAR AT WILLY'S - DAY
                                                            
                       JIMMY
That is some great weed...
                                                            
                       DUANE
You know it...lets's get home and
somoke a phatty.
                                                            
Duane starts sing "sun down you better take care" as they
high five and get in the car and start to drive away .
                                                            
 
EXT. THE STEAK OUT - DAY
                                                            
As you see the boys talking on the front porch of Willy's
house and walk to the car getin it and drive away mallison
who is an older cop been on the force for 25 years and is
set in his ways of crime fighting . and Private Larry
Forward who is new to the force and still wet behind the
ears but is a good crimefighter and is a real go getter .is
watching them in their unmarked Crown Victoria. The rookie
has a gun and is about to hit the siren.
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
There they are !
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Easy rookie .
                                                            
He stops the rookie from hitting the siren .As the Sarge
smokes a cigarette and drinks coffee . With a pack of white
powder donuts on the dash .
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
You got alot to learn about police
work rookie....
                                                            

17.

                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Those guys are hopped up on drugs
rookie .............You understand
me? ...........They need this
stuff ..........They can't go a
day with out it!
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
That's why we should bust them now
Sarge!!
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Oh for christs sake Rookie .
                                                            
As the sarge smokes his cig and drinks coffee
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
How long have you been on the
force rookie?
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
6 months .....sarge
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
and me rookie?
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
40 years sir !!!
                                                            
Sarge talks to his collar which has a microphone on it
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Note to self .... combined years
on the force ... split unequally
... over
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Rookie . We have to sit back and
let THEM make the mistakes. When
your an addict Rookie, You'll do
anything for a fix.
                                                            
AS THE SARGE CHAIN SMOKES DRINKS A COFFEE AND HAS A DONUT OR
TWO
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Yeah, your right sir
                                                            
As the rookie reaches for a donut ,the sarge slaps his hand
away and takes a drag off his smoke
                                                            

18.

                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
I know I'm right rookie.... just
pay attention ... it's gonna be
good old fasioned police work.
                                                            
The sarge takes a drag off his smoke and has a bite from one
of the donuts he took from the the dash and goes back to
watching the two boys as they pull away in there beater car
                                                            
 
INT. ON COMPUTER LOOKING FOR WORK - NIGHT
                                                            
As we zoom out on Duane on the couch as he picks up the
phone and starts to dial a number.
                                                            
                       DUANE
hey baby how are you ...bla bla
bla
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Here .... This was the last bag of
chezze finger they had.
                                                            
he looks at duane as duane is in his own world again.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
did ya talk to her bro..
                                                            
Jimmy takes the joint and starts to toke on it while talking
                                                            
                       JIMMY
It will all work out bro...Right
now we need to get jobs and pay
the rent and how her that you are
a great guy ...
                                                            
                       DUANE
ya....Your right...we need to get
jobs...Period...
                                                            
they move from the couch to the computer table...that has
two cpmputers back to back and smok and start to look on net
for jobs..,.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Here's one .... Be all that you
can be... In the army ....they'll
give us cash to start
                                                            
                       DUANE
The army? Are you fucking kidding
me.. . remember cadets,
                                                            

19.

the two boys look at each other with puzzled faces
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Cadets?
                                                            
[ flash back to boys,they are 15 years old and in cadets .]
                                                            
The boys are sitting on seats side by side and the drill
Sargent comes into frame
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
You two pieces of shit are nothing
more then a couple of pimples on
my ass! You two are a couple of
Mamma's boys, But guess what?
Mamma ain't here to wipe your ass
now boy,your gonna.......
                                                            
the boys look worried
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
Stand down Sargent .
                                                            
drill Sargent steps back from kids and salutes the major
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
yes sir
                                                            
drill Sargent steps away from the boys. major steps in
                                                            
                       MAJOR
I'll take over from here .
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
Yes sir!
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
We still on for golf tomorrow sir?
                                                            
                       MAJOR
Tee off at 12 hundred hours
Sargent
                                                            
                       DRILL SARGENT
Thank you sir! Say hello to the
wife and kids sir.
                                                            
                       MAJOR
I will Sargent
                                                            
Drill Sargent leaves the major and the boys in the chairs
                                                            

20.

the major turns to the boys with a big smile on his face
.they think he is going to be nice to them like he was to
the sargent
                                                            
                       MAJOR
Now you listen up...(pause) YOU
TWO PIECES OF HUMAN WASTE !!.
                                                            
the major goes off on the two boys yelling at the top of
his lungs at them ..........
                                                            
Duane is on the verge of tears
                                                            
                       MAJOR
I've ripped farts that are more
significant than you two
losers..........Your in my house
now...You two scum sucking pieces
of dog shit...
                                                            
fade out and fade back to boys on computers
                                                            
 
INT. FADE IT FROM FLASH BACK AND LOOKING FOR JOBS ON - NIGHT
                                                            
the two boys shake it off like a bad dream they just had
                                                            
                       DUANE
Oh my god buddy,cadets!that was
one of the worst weeks of my life
                                                            
Duane is running his finger down the computer screen
                                                            
                       DUANE
Willing to work long hours....fuck
that....ok, here's one .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
what is it?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Part time labourers wanted.You
work today, we pay today! .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Buddy, we worked construction for
two weeks in 91',remember that
fuck up,dipshit?
                                                            
Flash back to a port-o- potty . You hear a loud bang and a
puff of smoke comes out of the top. Jimmy and Duane come out
covered in shit .They are both supporting bad mulets Duane
has the torch in his hand and Jimmy has the hot knives .

21.

They look at each other and Jimmy blows out a puff of smoke
. Fade back to present
                                                            
                       DUANE
Holy shit,I almost forgot about
that one ,it took me two weeks to
get the smell of shit out of my
hair
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Did you read the one marked
"models"?
                                                            
                       DUANE
which one?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Upper left hand corner.looking for
photo models . will pay good cash
for still photo's.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy, we've never modeled in our
lives
                                                            
                       JIMMY
there's nothing to it, they powder
you,airbrush you,they snap a
couple pictures,too easy .We could
do it for a joke, we need the
cash. Call the number.......call
it...ask for John
                                                            
Jimmy hands Duane the phone
                                                            
                       DUANE
alright,what's the number.
                                                            
Duane points finger to computer screen while dialing the
phone. the phone starts to ring .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hi, I'm calling about your ad in
the paper? What?....Barnyard
animals?,No...It says modeling for
cash......exactly......200 dollars
for one session!
                                                            
Duane gets a exited look on his face and gives Jimmy the
thumbs up
                                                            

22.

                       DUANE
Well..ah..let's see..there's 2 of
us...ah..6 feet...muscular build
(flexes bicep)....yeah...we could
make it tomorrow !
                                                            
Duane motions for Jimmy to get him a pen and paper
                                                            
                       DUANE
OK,....580 Spring road....ask for
John...ahhhh,that's
great.........we'll see you
tomorrow,11 o'clock.
                                                            
Duane hangs up the phone and celebrates
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yesssss!!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
We got it?
                                                            
Duane starts dancing and Jimmy quickly follows,they do their
best runway poses.
                                                            
                       DUANE
We got it !! ...We're
models.........oh yes...lets work
it....don't stop...keep
going.....the runway...hot
women...champagne baths..stretch
limos....and work it... you're
vogueing.
                                                            
the boys dance around the room and do there best run way
model stuff as the camera fades to black
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OFFICE BUILDING OF MODELING ASSIGNMENT - DAY
                                                            
THe two boys walk up the a old building in the seedy part of
town .
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (looks at address)
This is it baby...we're here
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I've got,two tickets to
paradise!Won't you,pack your bags
and leave tonight (singing)
                                                            

23.

The boys high five and ,low five, and then enter the
building
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY-LOOKING FOR OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Boys walk down the hall looking at every door.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
what are we modelling anyway?
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhhh..He didn't really say..The
usual GQ stuff I guess.
                                                            
The boys finally find the office and knock on the door
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
      (OC)
Come on in
                                                            
the boys enter the room it look like a nornal small time
talent agent office . pictures on the wall and some signed
by actors and singers
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hi ...we're looking for John
Parlette
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
You mean the guy behind such
titles as Leroy likes
blondes,Inflatable dates and the
boys get Bonnefied?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Uhhh......(shrugs shoulders)
                                                            
the two boys look at each other and have confused looks on
there faces and dont really know what to say ..
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
You found him! John M
Parlette,pleased to meet you. You
must be here for the modeling job?
                                                            
the boys now relax a bit
                                                            
                       JIMMY
That's us!
                                                            

24.

                       SLEAZY AGENT
come with me boys ill show you to
the change rooms
                                                            
john get up from behind his desh and shakes the boys hands
shows the were the change rooms are
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
Changing rooms are right through
that door...your outfits are lined
up in order...put the first one
on, and then come back and see me.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Thanks
                                                            
The Boys walk in to room and enter the change rooms the
change room are side by side . they take a quick look at
each other then walk into the change rooms at the same time
                                                            
 
INT. CHANGE ROOM - DAY
                                                            
TWO CHANGE ROOM CURTAINS SIDE BY SIDE,BOYS WALK TOWARDS IT.
                                                            
                       DUANE
I don't know about this...John M
Parlette?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
There's allot of weirdos in
holywood kid
                                                            
boys enter change rooms...clothes fly over the cross bar as
they start to get undressed to get into there costumes.
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (oc)
Buddy ... I'm not so sure about
this .
                                                            
thers is a long pause as you see duane looking at his stuff
with a wierd look on his face its feathers and lace and
stuff like that .. looks odd to him .
                                                            
                       DUANE
i dont know man
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmmmmmmmmm,hmmmm,hmm
                                                            

25.

                       DUANE
      (oc)
Uhhh ., I have no idea what you
just said, but uhhh ... this is
not the type of clothing I would
want someone to uhh..... , see me
in
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmmmmmmmm,hmmm,hmm
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (oc)
What the hell are you talking
about marble mouth ?This is no
time to joke around!
                                                            
Duane pulls his curtain back to show he is wearing garters,
a thong ,sexy top.. etc .,
                                                            
                       DUANE
I am not fucking dong this!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (oc)

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,hmmmm,hmmm,hmm
                                                            
                       DUANE
What are you saying?I'm not in the
mood for this shit!
                                                            
Duane opens Jimmy's curtain to show he has a gag ball in his
mouthand he is all tied up ready for the fun . Duane takes
the gag ball out of Jimmy's mouth.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Lets get the fuck outta here!!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Big time
                                                            
The two boys run out of the change room still in the
costumes they tried on and back into the main room,John's
office .
                                                            
 
INT. RUN BACK INTO JOHNS OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
Hey fellas ,how do the outfits
look ?...............Not bad not
bad at all
                                                            

26.

The boys freak out and run out of the office and down the
hall. John gets out of his chair to follow the boys
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS RUN INTO THE MONSTER - DAY
                                                            
John pokes his head out of the door to see the boys run down
the hall.
                                                            
                       SLEAZY AGENT
Hold On! ... I'm still waiting for
the bearded lady and the two
headed midget to show up!
                                                            
The boys flee down the hall as they are running down the
hall lookinmg back at john they are grabbed buy a big man
in a bondage mask with studs and leather and tattoos.
                                                            
                       BIG BONDAGE GUY
Time for your photo shoot boys .!!
                                                            
The boys get drug back down the hall to John's office .
There will be 6 or more still photo's flash at this point
with the boys in precarious positions with the big man and
the bearded lady and the midget
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE TALENT AGENTS OFFICE ON SIDEWALK - DAY
                                                            
                       DUANE
That was the most humiliating ,
degrading ,invasive ........if you
ever breath a word of this to
anyone ,i will kill you , its the
absolute worst thing I have ever
done for the 4 hundred
dollars.......... that I hold in
my hand right now .
                                                            
Duane holds out the cash to show Jimmy .just then, a semi
truck drives by and blows the cash out of his hand and down
the road....the boys pause for a few seconds as they stare
at each other
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Fuck !!
                                                            
The two boys run down the road after the money still wearing
their outfits trying to pick up as much mnoney as they can
                                                            
 

27.

INT. HOME - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys come in the door of the shit hole limping and
sore from the money chase...ther is a whisyle as they enter
ther suit.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Fuck off buddy...You couldn't
afford me.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
My fucking feet are killing me .
                                                            
                       DUANE
At least we managed to save a
hundred of it
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I'm goin to bed brother ..
                                                            
                       DUANE
Me too. This money goes into the
cookie jar and we never talk about
it again . ok?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
No shit!
                                                            
Duane puts the hundred bucks in the cookie jar and lays on
the shitty old couch ,his bro Jimmy is already asleep on
the shitty old love seat .He takes a look at jimmy and then
turns out the lights .............
                                                            
 
EXT. TRYING TO GET KIMMY BACK.. - DAY
                                                            
 
INT. THE BOYS WAKE AND WATCH SPRINGER . - DAY
                                                            
Scene starts with Duane walks in with breakfast as jimmy is
fucking with the T.v.
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhh. Not really . Try moving them
all the way to the left ... ah
shit , still nothing . its gonna
need more tinfoil .
                                                            
Jimmy rolls off an arms length piece of tinfoil. . puts a
huge ball on the rabbit ears
                                                            

28.

                       JIMMY
This should do it ........what
about now?
                                                            
                       DUANE
almost . juuuust tweek them a
bit ....perfect.....right
there.... don't fuck with it .
                                                            
Jimmy comes from back of tv to sit on couch with Duane and
picks up his bowl of cereal and starts to eat it as the two
boys watch ... Jerry Springer
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Fuck I love Springer! Wanna look
for jobs while we watch it? Old
lady Spoon is still on our ass!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Naaa . Fuck it....lets take the
day off.... If someone knocks at
the door ,don't answer it.. .After
we re-enforced that door and got
new locks ,She aint kicking down
shit.
                                                            
The two boys go back to eating cereal and watching Jerry
                                                            
                       JIMMY
He's not the dad! I knew it!
                                                            
                       DUANE
No shit . !!! Wait till the
mother comes out,It's gonna be a
good fight!
                                                            
 
INT. ENTER LANDLORD - DAY
                                                            
There is a knock at the door .. They have a feeling it's the
landlord, they giggle to each other as they watch tv .The
doorbell gets rung relentlessly, then another hit on the
door ,still the boys giggle and are very quiet. They know
its old lady spoon ,they can hear her they stay very quiet
and jimmy holds up emply package of the new lock on the
door.he nods as if to say fuck yaaaa. the camera pans to the
lock then back to the boys .One more knock, then a
pause..they two boys think they are going to get away with
it .just then .The door flies open and the old woman does a
forward roll into the house . She is on the floor on one
knee doing her best conan impression , she looks up at the
boys with a lit smoke in her mouth
                                                            

29.

                       LANDLORD
Helloooo.... phuck phaces
                                                            
She stands up from the floor crack her neck and slowly
walks over to the boys on the couch
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
What day is it today ?.... oh
that's right ...ITS PHUCKING RENT
DAY !!.
                                                            
She puts he cigarette out in the cereal bowl and looks at
the TV as she lights another smoke
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Oh... I've seen this one .. the
cousin is the father
                                                            
THE TWO BOYS LOOK ALL DISSAPOINTED ABOUT THE OUTCOME OF THE
SHOW
                                                            
                       DUANE
Heyyy ..... .uh , its funny you
should stop by . We were actually
trying to get a hold of you ..We
got jobs ... we just have to wait
for the two week hold back.... .
then you will get all your money
Mrs Silverspoon
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Two PHucking weeks hey .......
hmmmmmmmmm...... Add another two
hundred on top just for fucking me
around! .You're lucky im letting
you two assholes stay here at all!
                                                            
Old lady Spoon looks at the two boys and one more clace
around the room then starts to leave
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Can we have 3 weeks?
                                                            
Old lady turns her head around in the sexiest runway model
pose and shows the boys her ass
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Do you see a panty line?
                                                            
the two boys look at her ass almost ready to puke .
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhhh.....N..N...No
                                                            

30.

                       LANDLORD
Well there's your fucking answer!
                                                            
Old lady Spoon walkes over to the door ready to exit. She
looks at the broken door. pulls out a brokin pack of smokes
. pulls a filter off the smoke and lights it .
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
And fix this fucking door would
ya! A kid could get in here
.........and you owe me a pac of
smokes too
                                                            
The landlord exits
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS HAVE TO LOOK FOR WORK . - DAY
                                                            
boys get up off the couch and walk to the computer .
                                                            
                       DUANE
WOW . she scares me some time
...... how did she get threw that
door holy shit ......I guess we
should look for work
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Back to the old drawing board.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Did you see that crazy bitch come
through the door? She's a fucking
Linebacker
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I know
                                                            
The two boys start looking on the net for want adds and any
thing that they can find ..Jimmy starts to roll up a joint
and passes it to Duane as Duane looks on his computer ..
                                                            
                       DUANE
Oh, whats this?... good hours
....good pay .. benefits .... 2
weeks paid vacation ......must not
have criminal record.....Ahhh
Shit.
                                                            
Duane takes a big toke and passes it back to Jimmy
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Here's one ...... Chinese
restaraunt
                                                            

31.

                       DUANE
You don't remember Mr. Wong's all
you can eat?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Mr Wongs all you can eat ?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Oh shit ..... Mr Wong's all you
can eat....
                                                            
Jimmy buries his head in his hands and it flashes back to Mr
Wong's
                                                            
 
INT. FLASH BACK TO WORKING IN CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
We pan out on the boys working in the kitchen . Jimmy is
sleeping as Duane is rolling a joint . They have mullets and
are younger looking . Mr Wong spots the two boys and goes
into a Kung fu crazy stance
                                                            
As Mr Wong yells out crazy ninja yells ,Jimmy wakes up. THe
two boys are scared for there life
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Mr. Wong ...uhh......
                                                            
The boys sit up at attention and focus on Mr.Wong
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhhh........yeah,Mr. Wong,we were
just...uhh....working here
                                                            
                       CRAZY CHINNESE CHEF
ohhhhhhh... you worka on
sleeeeeping and rollling
marijuanaaaaaaaaaaaa .
                                                            
Mr Wong approaches the boys with kung fu kicks and punches
in the air
                                                            
                       DUANE
We have been busy ..........
                                                            
Mr Wong snap kicks Duane in the head and proceeds to kick
the shit out of him with kung-fu kicks and punches . Jimmy
comes up from behind with the double axe handle ,just as
Duane falls to the ground, Mr Wong spins around to snap kick
Jimmy in the head and kicks the shit out of him too. ....
camera pans to the boys on the floor,horribly beaten
                                                            

32.

                       DUANE
      (barely conscious)
ahhh.....ahhhh.....ahhh
                                                            
The two boys lay on th floor best up As A cat comes up to
the boys and starts to lick their faces.
                                                            
 
INT. FLASH BACK TO NOW ON COMPUTERS - DAY
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah...I'd say he got the better
of us that day.
                                                            
Jimmy sits with a nod and a stare as if to say 'No Shit!'
                                                            
                       DUANE
What about this......Strippers
wanted......male strippers wanted
for busy nightclub.....
                                                            
                       JIMMY
After what just happened at that
photo shoot? You have got to be
fucking kidding me.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy...this is women .......
lonely women ,in a bar, throwing
money at us .... think about it! .
                                                            
Jimmy comes around and now has a smile on his face
                                                            
                       JIMMY
You're right!.....Maybe "I" should
phone this one......(gives
sarcastic look)
                                                            
Jimmy picks up the phone ,looks at the number and dials
                                                            
                       JIMMY
4 ...5..... 7........ 3
                                                            
The phone rings and you faintly hear someone answer
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hi,I'm calling about the add for
male strippers .... yep .. blond
and brunette ...... ya .... 6
feet ... .. muscular
build....(flexes bicep)...... 12th
and main ... the old hells kitchen
strip bar . ..at the back door
...... yeah .. uh.huh ... 500 a
            (MORE)

33.

                       JIMMY (cont'd)
show for a duo....(gives thumbs
up) ... 2 shows a night ...that
sounds amazing .... we will be
there !..at
6....perfect.......thank you ...
                                                            
Jimmy hangs up the phone and turns to Duane
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (Jimmy and Duane
       say at same time)
500 a show!! ... 2 shows a night
.Yeahhhhhhhhh!!
                                                            
The boys start dancing around as porn music plays in the
background .
                                                            
 
EXT. SHOWING UP AT THE STRIP BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
The boys drive in with their shitbox,then show up at the
back door of a dumpy strip club in a seedy town
                                                            
                       JIMMY
All right kid... we're here! ...
lets go make the rent ...and even
if there is fat chicks alllllll
over us ... remember....... it's
for the rent ......
                                                            
                       DUANE
You don't have to tell me buddy!
                                                            
Duane pounds on the steel door, a big Bald bouncer with
piercings and tattos all over even on his kneck opens it.
                                                            
                       BALD BOUNCER
      (Pissed off)
Who the fuck are you ?
                                                            
The boys just about shit there pants on and look the freak
up and diwn . they look scared
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Well... ahhh... we... are ....
uhhhhh
                                                            
the two boys can barly get the words out
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhh .... we are the strippers ...
                                                            

34.

                       BALD BOUNCER
      (turns nice)
Oh.. hey guys...come on in....
dressing room is up stairs......
its gonna be a wild night tonight
.... I hope you guys are ready for
it .
                                                            
                       DUANE
We are brother .... we are! ..
                                                            
                       BALD BOUNCER
You guys should clean up on tips
tonight .....
                                                            
The two boys look at each other with joy and high five make
ther way down a seedy hallway to ther dressing room
                                                            
 
INT. SEEING SCOTTY THE OTHER STRIPPER - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys approach the dressing room and knock on the
door
                                                            
                       MALE STRIPPER
      (off camera)
Come in ..
                                                            
The two boys open the door and see Scotty Mac in his trunks,
he has a hard body and is looking in the mirror at himself
and fixing his hair and rubbing baby oil all over himself
                                                            
                       MALE STRIPPER
hey...You must be the new guys.
                                                            
                       DUANE
uhh.....yeah ...
                                                            
the two boys enter the room and set there stuff down
                                                            
                       MALE STRIPPER
You picked a great night to start
... it's crazy out there already
....where are you guys from?
                                                            
You here a dj's voice off camera say "And now, lets put your
hands together for tonight's feature...Cameron Starr" .
                                                            
                       MALE STRIPPER
Hey guys,that's me .... wish me
luck .
                                                            
Male Stripper leaves the mirror and goes out the door
                                                            

35.

                       JIMMY
Good luck ...
                                                            
The stripper leaves and the boys find a seat in the dressing
room
                                                            
                       DUANE
Fuck buddy ... I'm nervous as hell
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I know,me too.....that's why I
brought a little friend
                                                            
                       DUANE
A friend?
                                                            
Jimmy reaches into his bag and pulls out a 40 pounder of
Jack Daniels
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Mr. Liquid Courage himself...
                                                            
Jimmy unscrews the cap and starts to pour a shot
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ah,thank God ... pour me one of
those bad boys too .
                                                            
The boys take a couple of shots and sit back and start to
think what they have got themselfs into
                                                            
 
INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
The boys are half cut and the bottle is almost empty as the
stripper comes falling through the door out of breath. He
starts pulling all the bills out of his trunks
                                                            
                       MALE STRIPPER
Holy fuck boys,it crazy out there
... you're dancing for a bunch of
sex maniacs tonight.......
                                                            
The boys stand up see the cash he is pulling out and start
to get fired up as they are getting dressed
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (takes deep breath)
...... I'm ready .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
me too.
                                                            

36.

the two boys leave the dressing room and start down the
hallway to the stage
                                                            
The two boys are psyched as the off camera dj voice says"And
now .... it's duo time ...here they are ....Peaches and
Cream".
                                                            
The boys look at each other very confused.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Peaches and Cream ?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey,for 500 bucks they can call us
whatever they want!
                                                            
and the boys start to dance out on stage
                                                            
 
INT. THE BOYS GO ONSTAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys hit the stage and the cat calls start . they
are doing great.....they cant really see the crowd as the
lights are in there eyes .untill they get close to the stage
, then they look out at the crowd ..the two boys make
really weird faces
                                                            
                       DUANE
what the hell ....
                                                            
The camera pans out to show the room is full of dudes . One
guy slaps Jimmy's ass. The two boys are tossed around the
stage like fresh meat . The crowd is putting money down
their pants and ripping their clothes off .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (turns to Duane)
Lets get the fuck out of here!! .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hell yeah ..
                                                            
they two boys with there cloths beingriped at try to make it
to the door
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS RUN TO THE EXIT DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys jump off the stage the crowd is still taring
ther cloths and they are almost naked by now .they get to
the exit door. Duane looks back at Jimmy and yells .
                                                            

37.

                       DUANE
holy shit kid ....I wasn't
expecting a room full of queers
                                                            
Just then, the whole bar is focused on them .Duane runs
into a tall fat guy . he is wearing spandex and make up and
has a star painted on one eye. and look like a really bad
cross dresser
                                                            
                       STAR QUEER
What the fuck did you call us?...
                                                            
This guy has them by their throats,they are almost outa
breath . Duane talks in a whisper while being choked almost
to death .
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (being choked)
uhh.... queers? ..
                                                            
The music stops and the room goes death vally quiet .. you
could here a mouse fart. all the people gather around the
boys and the start to close in on them as we fade out .
                                                            
 
INT. MORNING .WHERE ARE WE? - DAY
                                                            
The camera is tight on the boys, the camera pans out
slightly as the boys wake up,it looks like they have their
heads on a pillow
                                                            
                       DUANE
I feel like 10 pounds of shit in a
5 pound bag....What happened last
night ????? how did we not get the
shit beat outa us ???
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Fuck I don't know ?.....It
couldn't be too bad though .....I
still have my undies on. lol
                                                            
                       DUANE
My God buddy, that could have been
a fucking disaster.I'm just
piecing it together now.
                                                            
The camera pans all the way out we see that the boys are
actually resting their heads on the big blonde guys gut that
grabbed them by the throat at the bar
.He lets out a snore and the boys look at each other in
disgust and start to get off the fat guy with out waking him
.
                                                            

38.

                       JIMMY
      (whispers)
Let's get the fuck outta here
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (whispers)
uhhhh........ yeah
                                                            
The slowly start to get off the fat guy and sneak off the
bed and out of the room
                                                            
 
INT. THE BOYS TRY AND LEAVE, STARR WAKES UP. - DAY
                                                            
The boys tip toe to the door and accidentally step on a
rubber sheep which makes a "baaaa" noise . The big guy wakes
and sits up
                                                            
                       STAR QUEER
Wait boys.....come back!.....We
haven't tried out my swing
yet!.......
                                                            
the two boys stop look at each other look at the door then
back at the guy on the bed .
                                                            
Big guy is on his knees rubbing his nipples
                                                            
                       STAR QUEER
dont go ............
                                                            
the two boys almost get sick on then self and run for the
door as fast as they can. the camera pans back to the man on
the bed still rubing his nipples
                                                            
                       STAR QUEER
Call me some time
                                                            
 
INT. AT HOME - DAY
                                                            
Boys come through the door of their shit hole in their
trunks and there's are cat call heard in the background.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Up yours...Pal
                                                            
Duane closes the door and the boys look serious
                                                            
                       DUANE
We fucking tell no one about this
.... you hear me .... no one!
                                                            

39.

                       JIMMY
Somethings been killing me the
whole walk home.....
                                                            
Jimmy reaches into the back of his trunks and you hear a
"pop" sound....he looks in his hand...it's a butt plug.looks
at the but plug looks at duane
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (looking at butt
       plug)
Uhhh....Don't worry buddy...The
secrets safe with me
                                                            
the two boys walk away from door discusted with them self
and walk off camera
                                                            
 
EXT. COPS IN WILLY BACK YARD - DAY
                                                            
We see 2 cops looking at Willies house.The rookie has the
binoculars as they look threw a bush across the street at
willy house.
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Are you sure we should be doing
this without a warrant Sarge?
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
look rookie ... this is operation
12 and 12 is 24 ... shut your
mouth and say no more .
                                                            
As the sarge takes the binoculars from the rookie and
bends over to look at the house through the binoculars , he
starts to split his pants all the way up his ass there is a
long pause as the two cops take a look at each other and the
rookie looks at the sarges ass to show the huge rip . the
sarg is a bit imbarressed but acts like it never happend
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Ok rookie........ it looks like no
one's home...... lets go check it
out .
                                                            
The two cops approach the house and enter the back yard,
they start walking when the rookie spots something on the
ground and gazes at it.
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
See something interesting rookie?
                                                            

40.

                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Uhh.. Yeah....Right here Sarge.
                                                            
The rookie picks the object up,looks closely at it,smells
it,even tastes it.......
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Chihuahua..... north bound ....
no... wait... wait ....south
bound ,. female .. in heat ..
                                                            
Rookie tastes the shit again
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
corn.
                                                            
The private spits out the corn and begins to talk on his
lapel mic
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Suspects......possible ......corn
farmer ?.........over
                                                            
Sarg bends down to Rookie and blows the entire ass out of
his his pants this time ther is not even a piece of threat
left in the ass of his pants now..
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Their no corn farmers rookie ... I
can smell the dope from here ....
                                                            
you see a view of the house with Willy clearly doing hot
knives in the window
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
.....Now let's get back to the
station
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
To start the paper work sir? ..
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Nah Rookie..............I'm
gettin' hungry! and i need to call
my taylor
                                                            
The two cops stand up and sneack out of the back yard with
willy still doing hot knifes at the stove not even seeing a
thing.....
                                                            
 

41.

INT. BOYS BACK ON COMPUTER AND WET OUTTA THE SHOWER - DAY
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy, I don't remember all that
much about last night.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
My head is still pounding.
                                                            
                       DUANE
How much of that five hun do we
have left?
                                                            
Jimmy picks up his jeans and pulls out some money and starts
counting it.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
one ...... two ....... three
...three twenty five....three
seventy five .....four .... four
fifty
                                                            
                       DUANE
Four fifty!.... that's incredible
man! .....we came back with four
fifty!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hold on .....let me count the
small stuff
                                                            
                       DUANE
There's more? Holy Fuck ... count
it up!
                                                            
Duane starts to shadow box around the room
                                                            
                       JIMMY
fifteen ... sixteen
.....seventeen.... eighteen..
nineteen.
                                                            
Duane lifts his arms in the air excitedly
                                                            
                       DUANE
Which brings the grand total
to......?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
.....Five dollars and nineteen
cents
                                                            
The camera pans to all the change on the table.
                                                            

42.

                       DUANE
..Five dollars and nineteen cents!
. Holy Fuck!.......how
many....shooters..did..we..buy?
                                                            
Duane is shocked.He stops stopd shadow boxing and look as if
he is going to cry
                                                            
Jimmy has a real stupid look on his face
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhh....I don't know ...a couple
...I guess
                                                            
 
INT. OLD LADY SPOON - DAY
                                                            
You hear a key rattle in the door, and then it opens.
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Hellooo....... Phuck Paces
                                                            
Mrs. Spoon walks slowly over with a lit smoke going and
looks at the money on the table
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhh....Mrs Spoon .........you have
a key?
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Na ......... i learnd how to pick
locks when i use to date a cop
                                                            
Mrs. Spoon lifts her leg and farts in Jimmy's face , parting
his hair
                                                            
Jimmy almost pukes
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Oh looky here ..I think I'll
collect on those cigarettes you
owe me
                                                            
Old lady spoon takes the money off the coffee table..
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
See ya later...... Phuck phaces
                                                            
Duane stands up to follow her to the door and shut it behind
her . old lady spoon looks to see him following her to the
door.she turns around to duane
                                                            

43.

                       LANDLORD
You know....I'd do ya.....but I
like a man with a hairy chest
                                                            
The landlord chops Duane across the chest and back into his
seat
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (in pain)
ahhhhhh ... fuck
                                                            
Duane holds his chest, lying on the couch as oly lady spoon
leaves the apartment
                                                            
 
INT. BACK ON COMPUTER - DAY
                                                            
Duane gets off the couch and walks towards the
computer,holding his chest
                                                            
                       DUANE
Did you check out job search
today?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
not yet
                                                            
                       DUANE
well... sit down... lets do it
.......
                                                            
The boys sit at their computers and start to look for jobs
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hey! ....cab drivers
                                                            
Jimmy points to the screen
                                                            
                       DUANE
You don't even have a fucking
drivers licence!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Oh yeah................
                                                            
The boys keep looking
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Cash paid daily. ..fun ,in the
outdoors ...be your own
boss....choose your own hours...
this product sells itself!
                                                            

44.

                       DUANE
Buddy?..........we tried that last
year
                                                            
 
EXT. FLASH BACK TO DOOR TO DOOR SALES MEN - DAY
                                                            
The boys are at the front door of a house,Jimmy rings the
doorbell
                                                            
                       DUANE
Good afternoon sir....If you can
afford 30 cents a day....then you
can afford our product......we
offer.......
                                                            
A fist comes from inside the house and punches Duane right
in the nose ,he falls down the stairs to the ground
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhhh....We'll take that as a..
no..
                                                            
Jimmy backs away and checks on Duane
                                                            
Duane is on his back,over a tricycle , in a contorted
position
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (barely conscious)
ahhhh ... you ...
got......the.....next......house
                                                            
 
INT. SEE ADD FOR TALENT CONTEST $300 GRAND PRIZE. - DAY
                                                            
Flashback,and the boys are still on the computer
                                                            
                       JIMMY
You couldn't breathe out of your
nose for 2 months
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah..... That was a shitty summer
                                                            
                       DUANE
Here's one......Talent contest
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Buddy.....the last time I tried
something like this......I pulled
a butt plug out of my ass.
                                                            

45.

                       DUANE
No man! This has nothing to do
with stripping.....It's a talent
contest..........$300 first prize
for the best act!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Sounds like bullshit.....what the
fuck would we do anyway?
                                                            
                       DUANE
What would we do?....Buddy ....
the old act!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
The old act?.......what?......You
mean the one we did in grade 9?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah man!........Everything old is
new again!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Are you fucking kidding me?
                                                            
                       DUANE
We are a shoe in,man! .Tonight we
take grand prize at the gas hog
bar and grill........Three hundred
dollars,thank you very much!
                                                            
Duane puts up his hand and waits for Jimmy to high five
him...Jimmy is reluctant,but does it anyway
                                                            
 
EXT. DRIVE TO THE GAS HOG - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys are sitting in their shit box car as the trees
go by in the windshield
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy.... we are in the middle of
fucking no where..
                                                            
                       JIMMY
la la la la la..... me me me me
                                                            
                       DUANE
You still remember all the words?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Just like it was yesterday
                                                            

46.

                       DUANE
Good .....we are counting on this
three hundred bucks ,man
                                                            
                       JIMMY
No shit!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Gas Hog bar and grill....... Here
we are! .
                                                            
 
EXT. SHOW UP AT BAR WAY OUT IN BUM FUCK - DAY
                                                            
Boys walk into the bar and there is a host on stage,he is a
husky,long haired ,tattoed biker with a gruff voice. They
look around, wondering where to go.
                                                            
                       TALENT SHOW HOST
Lets give it up for the man who
eats nails.
                                                            
Freak walks off the stage with nails in his mouth, walks
between the boys
                                                            
                       TALENT SHOW HOST
      (Background)
Our next performer sticks sharp
objects in his eyes.........eats
broken glass........and loves fat
chicks!.....(dialouge fades out)
                                                            
The boys have peculiar looks on their faces when a man
sitting nearby speaks to them
                                                            
                       SEEDY GUY
You lads here for the talent show?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhhh.....yeah
                                                            
                       SEEDY GUY
Go right on straight into the back
room and the lad will call ya
                                                            
                       DUANE
Thanks man
                                                            
The boys walk towards the dressing room
                                                            
 

47.

INT. BOYS IN DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
BOYS ARE IN THE DRESSING ROOM WITH THEIR OUTFITS ON.
                                                            
                       DUANE
We still got it buddy......the
outfits still fit perfectly... we
are going to blow the roof off
this place!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I feel good too man.....Lets go
put on the finishing touches.
                                                            
Jimmy puts fist up
                                                            
                       DUANE
Let's do this!
                                                            
Boys touch fists, and go to put on finishing touches.
                                                            
 
INT. HOST ON STAGE FOR INTRODUCTION - NIGHT
                                                            
                       TALENT SHOW HOST
      (crowd is unruly)
All right guys....settle down
......put the gun away
Spider...Our next act is a
duo...No it's not what you
think...so sit down Fat
Tony....put your hands together
for.............Wall and Foates?
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS ON STAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
The curtain opens and the boys are in position, they have
their backs to the crowd. The music to the song "I cant go
for that" by Hall & Oates starts ,the boys snap their
fingers and turn to the crowd. They start to dance and lip
sync the song,right up to the chorus.The music stops and a
big ugly biker stands up and yells from the back of the
bar....
                                                            
 
INT. CROWD YELLS AT BOYS - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BIG UGLY BIKER
I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                            
 

48.

INT. PLAN B - NIGHT
                                                            
Duane looks at Jimmy and talks out of the side of his mouth
                                                            
                       DUANE
Plan "B"
                                                            
Jimmy puts his bass down and turns on the tape deck ...It
plays Herbie Hancock, "Rock it", and the two boys start
break dancing to it .The host runs up on stage, points at
the boys and screams........
                                                            
 
INT. BAR RUSHES BOYS - NIGHT
                                                            
                       TALENT SHOW HOST
LET'S POUND THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA
THESE TWO ASSHOLES!
                                                            
 
INT. THE CROWD RUSHES THE STAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
The crowd rushes the stage and beats the hell out of the two
boys,somehow Duane fights his way out of the crowd, and
yells at Jimmy .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hold them off kid...I'll go get
the car!
                                                            
 
INT. DRIVE HOME IN THE CAR . - NIGHT
                                                            
As Duane drives the car,Jimmy is moaning in the passenger
seat with an oxygen mask on his face .
                                                            
                       DUANE
Sorry I took so long......I
couldnčt remember where we parked
                                                            
                       JIMMY
moaaaaan
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
I don't know what the hell
happened out there . ....same
songs ......same act.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmmmm{moan}
                                                            

49.

                       DUANE
But.....I did notice you were a
little rusty out there...
                                                            
                       JIMMY
mooooan
                                                            
                       DUANE
I'm totally surprised they didn't
like it
                                                            
                       JIMMY
mmmmmmoan
                                                            
                       DUANE
Shit......they loved us in
85.....I don't understand?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
mmmmmoan
                                                            
                       DUANE
I can't understand a word you are
saying.Hey.... don't let this get
you down kid.... I think the act
could do really well!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
moooaaaan
                                                            
                       DUANE
Give it time ..... nothing happens
over night... you just need to
tighten up your chops on the
second chorus ...it's a little
flat.....you practice hard.....and
we are ready to tour!....A tune up
is all you..I mean..we need.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
mooooan
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey man.... it looks like you are
struggling to say some thing... .
Don't say it unless it's really
important! .. that Doctor said
save your strength ... is it
really important?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
moan
                                                            

50.

Jimmy nods as he takes the mask off his face
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (in a moan)
Go.........
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (very excited)
Go where,man?......Straight to the
top with Wall and Foats!
                                                            
Jimmy puts the mask back on his face and takes a long,deep
breath before saying
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (in a moan)
Go.............
                                                            
Duane is looking at Jimmy,he is excited and in anticipation
for what Jimmy is about to say
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (in a moan)
.........Fuck...Yourself
                                                            
 
INT. AT HOME LICKING WOUNDS - NIGHT
                                                            
The two boys are sitting on the couch watching tv, fixing
their bandages.
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (begging)
Come on man.........say something
                                                            
Jimmy falls back in pain and passes out . Duane puts a
blancket over Jimmy and tucks him in . .
                                                            
Duane lies back on his couch and turns the tv off. The scene
goes black
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS WAKE, BAKE ,AND HEAD OUT TO WILLY'S - DAY
                                                            
The screen reads "TWO WEEKS LATER"
                                                            
The boys are on the couch. Duane is eating crackers and
peanut butter.
                                                            
Duane offers a cracker with peanut butter to Jimmy
                                                            
                       DUANE
Solid food yet?
                                                            

51.

                       JIMMY
Not quite yet
                                                            
                       DUANE
One should never skip
breakfast.......the most important
meal of the day!
                                                            
Duane waves a cracker with peanut butter in front of Jimmy's
face and he turns away in disgust.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Well...why don't you roll one up
while I get ready?
                                                            
Duane puts a ball hat on and looks in the mirror while Jimmy
rolls one
                                                            
Finishes the song in front of Jimmy on one bended knee.
                                                            
Jimmy is on the couch watching, he's still beat up, but not
as bad as he was. Still struggles a bit to speak
                                                            
Duane helps Jimmy up,he still moans in a bit of pain.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
ow.....ow......ow
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
Come on kid..... the fresh air
will do you some good,take this
pain pill Willy gave me.
                                                            
Duane hands Jimmy the pain pill . Jimmy pops it and they
take off to Willy's
                                                            
 
INT. THE BOYS LEAVE TO GO SEE WILLY - DAY
                                                            
The two boys jump in there beater car and head to get there
welfare cheque.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Holy shit buddy, what was in that
pain pill? I'm feeling like a
million bucks.
                                                            
                       DUANE
I don't know Willy takes them all
the time.He eats them like candy .
                                                            

52.

                       JIMMY
You think that's why he is so
burnt out?
                                                            
                       DUANE
That and the 50 other things he
takes a day
                                                            
 
EXT. BOYS SEE THE BILLBOARD ADD 30 SEC WITH CHAMP - DAY
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey buddy.....get a load of
this....$5000 dollars cash...if
YOU can last 30 seconds with THE
CHAMP!
                                                            
Duane looks at Jimmy . Duane starts to shadow box in the car
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
Holy shit!...you could do that
buddy!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Do what?
                                                            
Duane starts to shadow boxing again
                                                            
                       DUANE
Go 30 seconds with the
champ!...stick and
move,baby.........stick and move
                                                            
                       JIMMY
After all the shit we've been
through buddy?........I'm done
with those fucking gimmicks
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey, I'm all over the girls
brother!......I'm just
saying....you COULD do it......
                                                            
                       JIMMY
no shit I could do it . Kid, I was
trained in the sweet science of
boxing, under the tutelage of Tony
"kid fire" Pep .I was his best
student!The only real question is
kid.......could the champ last 30
seconds with me!
                                                            

53.

Duane stops th carat a red light puts up his hands for Jimmy
to hit and Jimmy starts to hit them .Duane throws over two
looping shoots and Jimmy ducks them both,snaps back up and
throws a couple more punches.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (very confident)
I doubt it!
                                                            
they turn coner and head off to burn out Willy's in the car
                                                            
 
EXT. GET TO WELFARE OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
The boys are walking up to Willy's door with there beater
car in the background
                                                            
                       DUANE
I haven't talked to Willy in a
while...I'm sure he knows it's
pick day....Have you talked to
him?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
No...I haven't....he won't answer
his phone...I've been calling him
for 3 weeks
                                                            
The boys knock on Willy's door
                                                            
There is no answer but the boys can see that Willy is in
there
                                                            
They knock again.....
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey Willy!.........Open up
Brother.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I can see him!
                                                            
                       DUANE
I know! ......He's in there doing
hot knives!
                                                            
The boys knock again......and then yell through the mail
slot
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Hey Willy!.........Let's get this
thing going,man!
                                                            

54.

Willy slowly gets up and walks to the door.....he is very
paranoid.
                                                            
                       KIMMY
      (Disguising his
       voice as an old
       English woman)
Hellooooooh?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey Willy.........It's us....open
the fucking door!
                                                            
                       KIMMY
      (still disguising
       his voice)
Sorry........there's no Willy
here.........there's also no weed
here.......uhh...and there's no
hash here either.........thank
you!
                                                            
                       DUANE
For fuck sakes Willy!......It's
Jimmy and Duane.
                                                            
Willy stops and thinks to himself.
                                                            
                       KIMMY
      (back to his
       normal voice)
Ohhhh......
                                                            
Willy opens the 20 locks, and then opens the door
                                                            
                       DUANE
Fuck Willy!.....it's pick day!
                                                            
                       KIMMY
ahhh ... I knew I was forgetting
something . Fuck I thought I might
have forgotten my birthday ....
Come on in ,we'll smoke some hash.
                                                            
The two boys enter the house and willy take a good look
around the neigbour hood be fore entering the house behind
the boys
                                                            
 
INT. WILLY SMOKES SMOKE HASH WITH THE BOYS - DAY
                                                            
It starts with the 3 guys standing around the stove. Duane
is doing a hot knife.
                                                            

55.

                       DUANE
HAAAAAAAAAAAA(smoke exhale).......
cough , cough, cough
,cough,cough,cough
                                                            
Duane grabs hold of the counter to stop from falling down,
drops to one knee and goes into a coughing and hacking fit ,
. He turns up to Willy in a winded voice.
                                                            
                       DUANE
That's good hash
                                                            
                       KIMMY
Hey Jimmy,you're next, put your
seat belt on.
                                                            
Willy gives Jimmy a big hash toke. Jimmy goes into the same
hacking and coughing fit that Duane did, then sits on the
chair
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Wow Willy! That shit really knocks
you on your ass!
                                                            
                       KIMMY
You think this hash is good? .
.... Wait until you see the weed
downstairs!.
                                                            
 
INT. COPS ENTER HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
One cop is slowly moving through the front of the house and
one is moving slowly through the back
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
I can hear someone else in here
sarge
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
10-4 rookie....me too....don't be
afraid to use reasonable force!
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
10-4 Sarg
                                                            
We see the two cops slowly inching towards each other
thinking they have their man.They leap out and face one
another, the sarge pepper sprays the rookie and the rookie
tazers the sarge.Again,they scream and the sarge pepper
sprays the rookie and the rookie tazers the sarge. They both
go down like a bag of wet shit,writhing in pain on the
floor.
                                                            
 

56.

EXT. THE BOYS GET THE BAD NEWS - DAY
                                                            
                       GARBAGE MAN
Look boys...I don't give a fuck if
your dead grandmothers ashes are
back there or anything else.It's
the law and i have been here for
15 minites already........ Now
fuck off while I finish my route,
                                                            
The garbage man slaps the side of the truck ,hops on the
back and yells
                                                            
                       GARBAGE MAN
Let's go Freddy!!
                                                            
The boys look like they are ready to start crying as they
watch the Garbage truck pull away
                                                            
                       DUANE
I can't fucking believe it! This
is a disaster,we are officially
screwed. Willy is going to have a
coniption fit!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I shouldn't have left the bags
outside
                                                            
Duane looks at Jimmy in disgust
                                                            
                       DUANE
No shit,genius
                                                            
Jimmy buries his head and begins to weep they both sit down
on the curb and look like there world is over.
                                                            
 
INT. COPS LEAVE HOUSE. - DAY
                                                            
The two cops slowly stagger to their feet,still half out of
it.
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Let's head back to the station
rookie, we need to stop for
tissues on the way.
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
To dust for prints Sarge?
                                                            

57.

                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
No rookie...............I think I
shit myself a little
                                                            
The two cops make there way out of the house. still messed
up from what just happend
                                                            
 
INT. THE 3 ARE SITTING ON THE COUCH CRYING - DAY
                                                            
Willy is hyperventilating into a brown paper bag while the
boys are blubbering some nonsense .Duane stands up and has a
plan. Duane walks behind Willy and puts his hands on
Willies shoulders
                                                            
                       DUANE
Don't worry guys . I've got a plan
                                                            
Jimmy stands up and runs to the bathroom,flalling his arms
and crying hysterically
                                                            
                       KIMMY
Yeah........I've got a plan too!
                                                            
Willy runs over and puts his head in the gas oven
                                                            
Duane runs up and grabs Willy out of the stove
                                                            
                       DUANE
Listen man....have you seen those
billboards looking for people to
go 30 seconds with the champ?
                                                            
                       KIMMY
No way man..........just cause I'm
big don't mean I wanna
fight.....see these tears? I'm a
lover not a fighter.
                                                            
                       DUANE
It's all good
Willy.........Jimmy's gonna do it!
                                                            
Jimmy hears his name and comes out of the bathroom blowing
his nose and drying his tears
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Do what?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Make us 5 grand
                                                            
Jimmy holds back the tears and looks perplexed.
                                                            

58.

                       JIMMY
How?
                                                            
                       DUANE
That billboard we saw man ...30
seconds with the champ.. 30
seconds...5 grand........and you
damn well know you can do
it!.........Come on man, this one
is for the team.
                                                            
Jimmy looks at the floor thinking about what has just
happened,and how he lost the weed. The camera pans around
the room to show the sad looks on everyone face. Jimmy takes
a long pause looks up.......
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I'll do it!
                                                            
Jimmy and Duane high five and then jump around the room in a
circle and celebrate
                                                            
Jimmy puts his knuckles in to the middle ..Duane puts his
knuckles in and they both look at Willy ..Willy still has
his head in his hands. He looks up,his eyes are red from
crying....he takes his time..... but slowly puts his
knuckles in to complete the circle
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (emotional)
Boys..... that prize money will
get us dirt,,buckets ,clones, hose
,fans.........every thing we need!
......Don't call it a come
back......we have been here for
years!.....
                                                            
Duane looks at the guys with enthusiasm, and they start to
cheer up a bit and slowly start to smile.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah Baby!......Now that's what
I'm talking about!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Ok Willy we should get going .....
Big day tomorrow
                                                            
Jimmy and Duane start to leave Willies house
                                                            
                       DUANE
The training starts tomorrow
Willy! Talk to you then brother!
                                                            

59.

The boys leave
                                                            
 
EXT. DRIVING HOME TALKING - DAY
                                                            
The two boys are driving back from Willies still a little
distraught over the whole thing .
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Are you sure I should do this?
This guy is a fucking freak ....
Did you hear about his last 2
opponents?..One guy had to get
re-constructive surgery.... and he
was the lucky one! The other guy
is still on life support!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Yeah...but they were bums.... they
got tagged ...you won't! You have
training...you boxed in
college!......You only need to
stay away from him for 30
seconds,that's fuck all!.....You
fought in 12 rounders for Christ
sakes.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Yeah..but....... I'm not really in
ring shape right now
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy...........you will
be!...give us two weeks and you'll
be able to go 20 rounds brother!!!
                                                            
 
INT. GET HOME AND SEE OLD LADY SPOON - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmy and Duane come up to the apartment,they stop and give
each other a worried look
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (whispering)
Somebodies here!
                                                            
Duane takes a deep breath and puts his fists in the air
                                                            
                       DUANE
After the fucking day we just
had.......I am going to kill this
Mother Fucker!
                                                            

60.

Duane runs into the kitchen with his fist cocked ready to
punch someone out,he finds old lady spoon lighting a smoke
off the stove
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Gonna hit me are ya? Wanna tie me
up first?
                                                            
                       DUANE
LOOK!.......You being in here is
against the law!.....it's not
right!
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Oh yeah?......Well I haven't been
laid in a month and that aint
right either!
                                                            
                       DUANE
Look!....You're in here illegally!
We told you we'd have the
rent......so get the fuck out of
here!
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Listen Fuck faces....you assholes
are delinquent on my rent....that
means you're here illegally!...So
YOU get the fuck out!
                                                            
Old lady spoon hauls off and slaps Duane across the face as
hard as she can
                                                            
Duane takes a step back and pauses to think then gets
serious
                                                            
                       DUANE
You know what?...You gym pant
wearing....snaggletoothed....whiskey
smelling....cigarette
stained.....saggy gorilla
tittied....hair
lipped....bearded.... fat ugly
fucking troll!.......I've never
hit a woman in my life.......but
you know what? You're no fucking
woman!
                                                            
Duane steps back and delivers a vicious right hook from left
field to old lady spoons jaw. She smashes against the fridge
and slides down to the sitting position.She looks like she's
been knocked out cold
                                                            

61.

Duane turns around to Jimmy shaking his hand like he hurt
it.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Holy Fuck she's got a hard
head!.......we'll have to tell the
cops we thought it was an intruder
                                                            
From behind...and out of nowhere.over the shoulder upi see
..Mrs. Spoon appear..
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
So your gonna call the cops too,eh
Phuckface?
                                                            
Old lady spoon starts dancing around like Muhammad Ali
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Just for that....... I'm gonna
fuck you up!
                                                            
Duane looks at Old lady spoon in a mocking fashion, and then
at Jimmy.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Is she fucking kidding me?
                                                            
Just then,Old lady spoon connects with two crisp,sharp jabs
right to the center of Duanes nose,which starts a trickle of
blood.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhhhhh....I don't think so
buddy...
                                                            
Duane takes a deep breath and starts to dance like a boxer
himself.the two square off in the kitchen like a main even
prize fight
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ok, you fat bitch!......let's
fucking do this!
                                                            
Duane is dancing and hits a crisp,sharp jab of his own. Old
lady spoon touches her mouth to see if there is blood
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Not bad!
                                                            
Duane hits another jab
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Wow, two in a row!
                                                            

62.

Old lady spoon crouches down ducks duanes punch and lands a
huge body shot to the ribs! Duane winces in pain
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Didn't think I'd go to the body
that soon, did ya?
                                                            
                       DUANE
      (winded)
No....I didn't
                                                            
Duane contorts his face in anger, grunts , then throws a
left feint and a vicious right hook........Old lady spoon
ducks it
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Saw that one coming a mile
away....
                                                            
Old lady spoon hits one good jab and then unleashes with a
barrage of un-answered punches to Duane's head.
                                                            
She stops and looks over to Jimmy...
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
You wanna step in boy?
                                                            
Jimmy looks at Duane who is wobbly and out on his feet.
                                                            
                       JIMMY
      (nervously)
Uhhhhh.......No
                                                            
Old lady spoon turns back to Duane and delivers a knock out
punch that looks like one of Mike Tyson's greatest hits
.Duane goes down and twitches like one of those horrible UFC
knockouts.
                                                            
Old lady spoon lights up a smoke and turns to Jimmy
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
When he wakes up.....tell him it
was a good fight .......for a girl
                                                            
Old lady spoon walk close to Jimmy, she pulls her sweater
down to reveal one shoulder, and a thick,beige bra strap
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Maybe while sleeping beauty is
resting ...we could work off some
of the rent?
                                                            

63.

Looking at Old lady spoons beaten face and rotten teeth,
Jimmy looks scared for his life
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Uhhhhhh....
                                                            
Old lady spoon quickly pulls her top back up to cover her
shoulder
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
You fucking wish!.....you little
pervert
                                                            
Old lady spoon turns and walks away, trying to look sexy as
she walks through the door and slams it behind her
                                                            
Jimmy wakes up duane and helps him to his feet .duane get a
towel for his face and they head to the couches for a good
nights rest. Daune is on very wobbly legs and his eyes are
glazed over
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Are you gonna be OK to start my
training tomorrow?
                                                            
Duane, still dazed and on wobbly legs, gives the thumbs up
and falls face down onto the couch.
                                                            
 
INT. START TO TRAIN FOR THE CHAMP - DAY
                                                            
Duane and Jimmy are up, talking strategy in the boxers
position.Duane has a closed eye,fat lip and he is slightly
beat up in the face.
                                                            
                       DUANE
Now remember....you have to use
your jab and stay away from this
freak...if you walk into a right
hand...it's over!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Kind of like what happened to you
                                                            
                       DUANE
Don't worry about me....the champs
nowhere near as fast as old lady
spoon....but he's ten times as
powerful!!!
                                                            
Jimmy nods his head in agreement
                                                            

64.

                       DUANE
We need you to stay on the outside
and tire this freak out. If you go
into this fight properly
trained...that 5 grand is all
ours!
                                                            
The boys high five and the training montage starts
                                                            
 
EXT. TRAINING MONTAGE - DAY
                                                            
The music starts,and a series of training sessions begin. ie
skipping rope . medicine ball in the guts ,road work . all
the while Duane is beside Jimmy with a big mega phone
yelling at him. Every so often you get a glimpse of the cops
watching them
                                                            
 
INT. AT HOME AFTER TRAINING FOR A WEEK - NIGHT
                                                            
The boys come in from training and lay on the couch and
loveseat
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I can't beleave tommorow is fight
day
                                                            
                       DUANE
You are ready man! So
ready!........that 5 grand is all
ours!
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Yep......we earned it kid!
                                                            
                       DUANE
We sure did brother!
                                                            
the two boys,who are lying down..reach back and hit knuckles
                                                            
 
EXT. AT THE ARENA - DAY
                                                            
the two boys slam there car doors and start to walk toward
the arena. Duane looks down at a piece of paper
                                                            
                       DUANE
This is it buddy ...The kick and
punch!
                                                            

65.

As they approach the door, two EMT's burst through pushing a
stretcher,one of the EMT's is squeezing a bag as they pass
the boys
                                                            
                       MAN ON STRECHER
heeeeellp me
                                                            
The two boys walk through the door into the back stage area
of the kick and punch
                                                            
 
INT. INSIDE THE KICK AND PUNCH - NIGHT
                                                            
                       JIMMY
I don't know man...I've got a bad
feeling about this
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey ... we can do this ..... stick
to the plan
                                                            
Duane grabs Jimmy by the face and looks him in the eyes
                                                            
                       DUANE
stick and move...stay on the
outside...stick to the plan!
                                                            
Just then, a man who is lifeless with his foot dragging
awkwardly is being dragged along by 2 ring attendants and
passes the boys, Jimmy gets a worried look on his face.
                                                            
Duane snaps his fingers and points at Duane
                                                            
                       DUANE
the plan ........
                                                            
Just then the fight promoter with his large wife walk up the
the two boys
                                                            
                       FIGHT PROMOTER
Hey ....can i help you fellas?
                                                            
                       DUANE
Uhh..yeah..My main man here is all
signed up to fight the champ.
Jimmy "lights out" Denton
                                                            
The old man looks through the list of guys on the first page
of his clip board ,then flips the page and starts down the
second list of names
                                                            

66.

                       FIGHT PROMOTER
Well....it doesn't say "lights
out"...but here you are,Jimmy
Denton. You're on after
intermission ,Room 7 down at the
end . Get yourself ready and
they'll call you when it's time to
go out .
                                                            
                       DUANE
cool.....thanks
                                                            
The boys walk down the hall to their dressing rooms
                                                            
The promoter leans over to his wife
                                                            
                       FIGHT PROMOTER
The kid's gonna get murdered
                                                            
 
INT. IN DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmyis sitting on the bech rapping tape on his hands. he
puts on the last couple pieces of tape on his hand and
smacks his fist into his palms a few times from left to
right
                                                            
                       JIMMY
You know what kid?....I'm actually
feeling pretty good! I think we
can do this
                                                            
                       DUANE
Buddy....I KNOW we can do this! ..
                                                            
 
INT. THE TV BROADCASTER - NIGHT
                                                            
The broadcaster starts to talk at ring side , he talks in a
Howard Cosell style as the fans are coming back to their
seats from intermission
                                                            
                       THE TV BROADCASTER
Well Jim.... as we expected, the
champ is pitching a complete shut
out... three up... three down .Two
more opponents to go .The first,
from Vancouver Canada ,34 year old
unemployed James "jimmy" Denton ,
a college boxer taking one more
shot at glory. And for the final
fight of the evening , a 38 year
old former club fighter Biff "the
hammer" Jones. We had the
            (MORE)

67.

                       THE TV BROADCASTER (cont'd)
opportunity to speak with the
champ earlier today,and this is
what he had to say....
                                                            
 
INT. INTERVIEW WITH THE CHAMP - DAY
                                                            
The camera pans to the champ, who let's out a continuous 10
second loud growl, while smashing two beer bottles over his
head.
                                                            
Camera pans back to the Broadcaster with a perplexed look on
his face
                                                            
                       THE TV BROADCASTER
A man of few words........ the
champ.
                                                            
 
INT. BOYS MAKE THEIR WAY TO THE RING - NIGHT
                                                            
The promoter sticks his head into the boys dressing room
with his clip board
                                                            
                       FIGHT PROMOTER
Hey Denton ......You're up
                                                            
Jimmy and Duane start their walk to the ring
                                                            
                       THE TV BROADCASTER
      (Voice Over)
Well Jim, he calls himself Jimmy
"Lights out "Denton,doesn't have a
job, but says , after
tonight......He won't neeeed one.
                                                            
The boys make ther way to the ring . as the fans boo and
chear . they climb into the ring and Jimmy dances around
like Ali used to in his prime
                                                            
The camera pans to the crowd and shows Old Lady Spoon, the
cops, with the Sarge eating nachos,the rookie goes to take
one but Sarge slaps his hand.The camera pans back to the
boys in the ring (we will have a few different camera angles
on the day .)
                                                            
You start to hear heavy metal music...The camera pans to
show the champ coming threw the curtain and making his way
to the ring . the fans look on im horror and the monstar
walks slowly to the ring
                                                            

68.

                       THE TV BROADCASTER
      (voice over)
Here he is Jim,the one and only
"Champ"His record so far , a
perfect 112 and 0 . 65 in
hospital, 14 in a coma ,(camera
now pans back to the broadcaster)
21 with permanent brain damage and
12 more of those brave warriors
......may they rest... in peace
.............. Let's go to our
referee in the ring Hank Hankerson
jr
                                                            
The camera pans from the broadcast booth to tight in the
middle of the ring where the ref, Jimmy and the champ stand
for the stare down the champ is huge and intimadating . as
he stares at jimmy like he is going to kill him
                                                            
 
INT. DO THE STARE DOWN - NIGHT
                                                            
As the 2 combatants stand toe to toe, Jimmy realises that
the Champ is bigger ,stronger , taller, scarier, uglier and
smellier then he could have ever imagined, he takes a deep
gulp as the ref starts his instructions
                                                            
                       HANK HANKERSON JR
All right gentlemen, protect your
self at all times .....Mr Denton,
the the object is to stay on your
feet for 30 seconds with this man
(the ref points to the
champ)should you succeed.... a
siren will sound and you will be 5
thousand dollars richer... should
you go down ,the fight is over!
...............any questions?
                                                            
The ref points at Jimmy ,Jimmy looks over at Duane . Duane
gives him the thumbs up and then puts his first two fingers
in a running motion around in a circle as if to tell Jimmy
to stay on the outside ,then gives another quick thumbs up.
Jimmy looks back at the ref
                                                            
                       JIMMY
....no
                                                            
                       HANK HANKERSON JR
      (as he points at
       the champ)
Champ?
                                                            

69.

The champ growls and the smell of his breath almost makes
the ref and jimmy puke
                                                            
                       HANK HANKERSON JR
.....I'll take that as a "NO"
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL
Go to your corners and come out
fighting at the bell
                                                            
the two fighters go back to thier corners. jimmy looks abit
nervous . the champ is in great form
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMY'S CORNER - NIGHT
                                                            
                       JIMMY
Holy shit! The fight hasn't even
started yet and he almost knocked
me out with his breath... you see
the size of that guy? ..
                                                            
Duane has Jimmy's mouth piece and is giving him a drink of
water
                                                            
                       DUANE
stick and move kid ,stick and move
                                                            
Just then the bell goes off to start the first round. Jimmy
looks scared as hell . Duane puts his mouth guard in and
shoves him into the middle of the ring as he yells at him
                                                            
                       DUANE
30 SECONDS BABY
                                                            
 
INT. START FIGHT - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmy goes out,you can see on his face he is not too sure of
himself,the two fighters meet in the middle,the champ throws
a wild overhand right and Jimmy ducks it,Jimmy is quite
pleased with himself.The champ throws another punch,this
time a left,Jimmy ducks it again,and starts to dance around
the ring like he is back in college,by this time the champ
is getting furious,he throws another right hand and Jimmy
easily ducks it .Jimmy is now doing the moonwalk and winking
at Duane as if it's in the bag. It looks like the champ is
going to throw another haymaker ,Jimmy goes to duck it,but
the champ was faking and hits him in the ribs with all his
might.The camera slows down and Jimmy has the most horrible
contorted look on his face that you have ever seen.Jimmy
tries to breathe but he has no air,the camera pans out to
show that he has pissed and shit himself.Just then, a huge

70.

right hand connects with Jimmy's face and he goes down
hard,if this were UFC, it would be the worst KO of all time.
Jimmy's arms and legs are twitching while EMT's storm the
ring
                                                            
                       THE TV BROADCASTER
      (VOICE OVER)
There's the bell, and Denton comes
out cautiously...The champ, as
usual, looking to end it quikly.
The champ with a thunderous right,
...and surprisingly...Denton ducks
it,and starts to look as though he
is gaining confidence....The
champ,still pressing forward,winds
up with a viscious left,"Lights
out" ducks it again,and is
now,starting to look
perhaps....over confident! The
champ is furious! Another haymaker
from the champ, ducked easily by
Denton,who in mocking fashion...is
now breakdancing in celebration,
while his corner pleads with him
to keep moving!.....As the champ
winds up...Denton is easily
telegraphing the punches as he
ducks another........OHHHHHH!!.The
champ fakes and throws a viscious
shot...deep inside the rib
cage....and Denton is gasping for
air...his face contorted to
unrecognizable proportions...so
much so....that he's now lost
control of his bodily
functions....however, he remains
on his feet,..and closer than ever
to the 5000 dollar prize money if
he can only stay away for these
few remaining sec..GOOD
LORD!!!.....What a devastating
knockout! That was difficult to
watch Jim.......Denton is in
convulsions on the
canvas........folks,I have to be
honest,we may have just seen a
young mans life end in the center
of that ring.......We'll be back
,right after this.
                                                            
 

71.

INT. SEE JIMMY FACE - NIGHT
                                                            
Duane runs into the ring as the camera pans close to Jimmy,
who is knocked out worse than any UFC KO you have ever
seen,his arms and legs are still twitching and his face is
horribly contorted. The paramedics arrive and start to load
him onto a stretcher. Duane gets very emotional
                                                            
                       DUANE
Ahhh Dammit Jimmy....I should have
never talked you into doing this
man.....5 grand isn't worth my
best friend.
                                                            
The paramedics start to get Jimmy ready for the ride to the
hospital
                                                            
                       PARAMEDIC
We need to get him to a
hospital,you can ride in the back
if you want
                                                            
Duane is upset and almost in tears
                                                            
                       DUANE
yeah.... let's hurry
                                                            
 
INT. COPS CLOSE CASE AFTER THE BEATING - NIGHT
                                                            
The two cops are at the concession stand after watching
Jimmy get knocked out
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Case closed rookie
                                                            
                       PRIVATE LARRY FORWARD
Why Sarge? No evidence?
                                                            
                       SARGEANT EARLE MALLISON
Nah rookie ........... No French
fries ...lets get the hell outta
here
                                                            
 
INT. WAITING FOR DOC IN ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmy is laying in a bed with machines plugged into him and
Duane is pacing back and forth visibly upset
                                                            
 

72.

INT. GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT DOC - NIGHT
                                                            
The doctor walks in and is explaining Jimmy's injuries in
front of the boys,while looking at a chart.
                                                            
                       DOCTOR WANG
Hello I'm doctor Wang , after
looking at charts I see that his
injuries are very complicated. He
has a contusion of the right
ventricle and bilateral
configeration ....his aorta
is.....
                                                            
                       DUANE
Doc! Sorry to cut you off but can
you just give it to us straight?
........will he be ok ?
                                                            
                       DOCTOR WANG
well.... when some one get hit in
head as hard as your friend Jimmy
. There tend to be a lapse
between the frontal lobia and
outer membrane, therefore ....
                                                            
                       DUANE
Doc!.. we are not from Harvard ok!
.. Can you give it to us in terms
we can understand? .
                                                            
                       DOCTOR WANG
OK....,How can i say this?
uhhhh......he fucked !.You can
take him home in an hour or so but
he be in bed for long time ......I
hope you no mind changing shitty
diaper!
                                                            
 
INT. LEAVE DOCTORS - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmy is in a wheel chair and Duane is pushing him out of
the hospital . Jimmy has a cast from his waist to his neck .
he has a neck halo attached to his chin and the screws in
his head . His eye is black ,one side of his face is swollen
,and his lip is fat. He can't talk because his jaw is wired
shut
                                                            
                       DUANE
You know buddy......there are lots
of tasty things that can be put in
a blender!
                                                            

73.

the boys get out on the sidewalk and are approached by Old
Lady Spoon.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE DOC WITH OLD LADY SPOON - NIGHT
                                                            
the boys are walking away from the hospital and old lady
spoon shows up
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Yeth! Oh Fuck Yeth.....I had to
see it for myself!
                                                            
                       DUANE
See what?
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
You cockthuckers just made me a
fortune, I had a thousand on the
champ puts him in the
hospital...you assholes just made
me ten grand,so don't worry about
the back rent, just pay me on the
first,for next month....in
thooooooo weeks
                                                            
Old lady spoon whistles with her fingers and a big burly
biker rides up, she gets on the back of his bike...
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Oh yeah...one more
thing........Shit yourself lately?
                                                            
Old lady spoon lets out a cackle exposing her rotten teeth
                                                            
                       LANDLORD
Let's get the fuck out of here
Animal...I'm feeling frisky
tonight
                                                            
A loud roar of the pipes ...and the bike pulls away, Old
lady Spoon gives them the finger as she leaves
                                                            
 
EXT. COULD BE WORSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Duane is pushing Jimmy in a wheelchair down the sidewalk
heading home
                                                            
                       DUANE
Beautiful night
                                                            

74.

                       JIMMY
hmm
                                                            
                       DUANE
Full moon
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmm
                                                            
                       DUANE
Don't listen to what that doctor
says....you're gonna be up on your
feet in no time
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hm hm
                                                            
                       DUANE
Soo....what do you wanna do?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hm-hm-hm
                                                            
                       DUANE
Wwe could go back to mowing lawns?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmm
                                                            
                       DUANE
Work with uncle Lloyd in the
septic business?
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmnnnn
                                                            
                       DUANE
That explosion was years ago......
they probibly won't even remember
us
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmmmmm-mmmmhh
                                                            
                       DUANE
Hey! No need to take that
tone!....it could be worse you
know ! You could have had to sleep
with old lady spoon... what could
be worse than that ?
                                                            
                       DUANE
hmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm
                                                            

75.

we now flash back to all the horrible shit they went
through in the movie .
                                                            
                       DUANE
You know what buddy?.....maybe we
should just take it easy for a few
weeks....I'm sure Old lady spoon
will let us slide on the rent...
                                                            
                       JIMMY
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
                                                            
Duane continues to push Jimmy as the song "One bourbon,one
scotch and one beer by George Thorougood" starts to play as
the credits roll
                                                            
THE END
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Twan Holliday Date 10/31/2008 ****
I have worked on Hollywood sets many times, trust me, this screenplay is funny.

From Jonathan Abbott Date 10/4/2008 *1/2
I really wish there was some kind of way I could give this a higher rating, but I can't. Your whole script is filled with problems, mainly with the fact that it's difficult to read this and take anything seriously when there are these many mistakes and the profanity is out of control. It feels as if both the story and the characters don't matter and are virtually forgettable. However, I can give you the benefit of a doubt, knowing that this is probably your first written-script. I'm sure others will also rate this script(and possibly be a little more harsh), but don't take that as being bad. Mainly because people's complaints can often help you improve your skills, but, if you'd like to improve sooner, you can look up screenwriting tips on the web, I personally like to use this site as an example, feel free to check it out. Until then, good luck on future projects: http://www.filmscriptwriting.com/


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