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Gimme A Light
by Zak Kirby (sumtypeofmonster@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
A short film showing how simple things like taking a smoke break can bring us together and more complicated things like politics tear us apart.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



We open with three people sitting on a park bench, two men
and one woman, smoking. They do not know each other. The
park bench is off the side of a path running through the
park. There's a creek in the background that we can tell has
had some construction done to it at some point. Next to the
bench there is a sign that reads:

As they sit there, a POWERWALKING BITCH happens to powerwalk
on by the bench. She shoots them a disgusting look and
powerwalks her ass on past them.
      (yelling at
Yeah, what the fuck are you
looking at? Keep on walking,
The POWERWALKING BITCH does not respond besides a look back
at the SMOKING WOMAN, and she picks up speed and is quickly
out of sight.
                       MAN #1
      (to woman)
It always pisses me off when they
do that.
Fuckin' seriously, right? We don't
have the black plague.
                       MAN #1
You'd be surprised at how
hypocrytical people are. I bet
she's got some habits that are a
lot nastier than smoking
cigarettes. Probably suckin' on
some dick that ain't her mans.
I know, right?
She gets up and yells in the direction that the POWERWALKING
BITCH powerwalked off to.


      (getting quite
       into it)
She throws her CIGARETTE BUTT down on the ground and lights
a new cigarette.
                       MAN #2
      (looking up from
       the paper he is
Are you quite done?
Maybe I'm not, buddy. Can't you
read your paper at home?
                       MAN #2
I CAN...but I'm not. I'm reading
it here. Besides, my old lady
won't let me smoke anywhere near
the apartment.
Does she control everything you
                       MAN #2
Most everything, yeah.
That sucks.
                       MAN #2
I actually like it. I don't have
to make too many decisions.
Jesus, are you that honest with
everyone? Or just total strangers?
                       MAN #2
Depends on the person.
MAN #2 lights another cigarette. MAN #1 peeks around the
WOMAN, who is sitting in the center.
                       MAN #1
So how's the sex?


                       MAN #2
It's great actually. She does all
the work.
They both chuckle. The WOMAN doesn't.
                       MAN #2
What? Don't you have a sense of
I do, actually. I just find it
kind of sad that you are content
to let someone else do all the
                       MAN #2
Do you like doing all the work?
I'm not talking about sex. I'm
talking about your relationship.
You're just letting her do
everything and I can't imagine
that you are truely happy. You're
saying you don't want to make any
decisions at all?
                       MAN #2
      (putting paper
Well, I didn't say that she makes
every decision. She does make a
lot of them, but she's a lot more
organized than I am. Besides, I
love that girl a lot and if being
in charge is what makes her happy,
then she can pick my clothes out,
make my lunch, and drop me off at
work with a kiss and a smile. I'm
not a greedy guy, I don't want a
whole lot. I just want to be loved
by my girl.
                       MAN #1
Woah, that's pretty deep.
She turns to MAN #1.


You totally wouldn't expect that
from him.
                       MAN #2
What the hell does that mean?
You don't seem like the type of
person who would think like that.
                       MAN #2
Just pointing out the
obvious...you don't know me! How
in the hell would you know how I
I'm good at reading people.
                       MAN #1
      (chiming in)
Apparently not as good as you
                       MAN #2
      (as if the subject
       is closed)
So now these three strangers have reached an ackward
silence. Man #2 goes back to reading his paper, and MAN #1
and the WOMAN just sit there. Finally, MAN #1 decides to
initiate a conversation.
                       MAN #1
So what part of the paper you
                       MAN #2
Wrong, sister. I'm reading the
financial section. And boy...are
we royally fucked.
                       MAN #1
Yeah, that's pretty crazy. How
much did the market drop?


                       MAN #2
Like 650 something points. It
might dip below 8000.
                       MAN #1
I don't really know that much
about the stock market. What does
that mean?
                       MAN #2
Without getting too deep into that
Wall Street jargon shit, we are
basically in the worst crisis,
money wise, since the Great
Depression. At least that's what
they are saying. But this
technically isn't the worst
condition the stock market's ever
been in.
Yeah it is. Where did you go to
                       MAN #2
Apparently at a finer learning
institution than you, because
there was a stock market crash in
the 1980s that was worse than the
Black Monday crash in '29. It just
didn't have the long term effects.
But this one...I dunno.
We'll be fine. They are going to
bail all those banks out.
                       MAN #2
Sounds like you have a little to
much trust in Old Uncle Sam.
Hell yeah. My boyfriend's a Marine
and I'm goddamn proud to be an
                       MAN #2
Marine, eh? Where's he stationed


                       MAN #2
Yes sir.
                       MAN #2
Then he's not a fucking marine.
      (getting into her
Excuse me? What the fuck do you
mean he's not a Marine?
                       MAN #2
If he hasn't graduated boot camp,
he's not a marine. It's pretty
simple actually.
I'm sorry but he signed up, took
the test, and I drove him to the
airport and kissed him goodbye. I
haven't seen him in almost two
months. I only get to talk to him
occasionally on the weekends. He
is a goddamn marine.
                       MAN #2
You can swear up and down that the
sky is pink, but if I go outside,
we both know what color it's gonna
What the fuck does that mean?
                       MAN #2
It means that just because you
keep saying something over and
over doesn't make it true. I
looked into joining the marines
and it said in one of those
pamphlets "Parents, when you are
writing your son or daughter at
boot camp, please do not refer to
them as 'dear marine'. Your son or
daughter must graduate boot camp
to earn the honor of being called
a U.S. Marine." They said it
themselves. He's not a marine.


The WOMAN is quiet for a moment. We can see she's thinking,
trying to find a plan of attack for the man who had so
callously attacked her marine boyfriend.
Well, while we are on the subject,
why didn't you join. Too scared of
getting hurt?
                       MAN #2
Not at all. I just decided that if
I was going to get hurt on the
job, it wasn't going to be in a
war I think is a total waste of
resources and human life.
Oh...you're one of those people.
                       MAN #1
      (piping up)
What people?
One of those people who think Bush
is sitting around planning how
he's going to fuck our country in
the ass.
                       MAN #1
He doesn't have to plan too much,
I don't think. It just kind of
comes naturally.
                       MAN #2
It would seem that way, but I
don't think he's as bad as most
people say. Sure he has the lowest
approval rating in U.S. History,
but I think he just happened to
get elected at the wrong time. He
has all this crazy shit going on
and he's dealing with it the best
way he can.
Well I think he's doing a great
                       MAN #2
Well, you are our resident
political analyist.


You know what I think I've had
enough of your shit. You're a
really hateful bastard, you know
                       MAN #2
I prefer the term "hard working
You know what? Fuck you and fuck
your sarcasm!
She storms off in the direction of the POWERWALKING BITCH.
                       MAN #2
      (shrugging her off)
I actually prefer the term
He goes back to reading his paper. He gets out a cigarette,
puts it in his mouth, and realizes he can't find his
                       MAN #2
      (to MAN #1)
Hey buddy, got a light?


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From Kevin Isaacson Date 11/5/2008 **1/2
I read the script first and really wasn't sure what point you were trying to get across. Then I read your comment at the top. It is an interesting social commentary. It kind of gets lost in the language but that is just personal preference. The dialogue did flow naturally.

From Jonathan Date 10/22/2008 ***
I liked it. The only advice I have is to not use "We open with.. " or "we can tell". Most professional screenwriters are gonna advise against using "we" in the direction.

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