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by Andy Anton (andersonanton@me.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Organized Crime   User Review: ***

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


The phone rings. Brian lies sprawled out on a brown lumpy
couch. He pulls his face up fast. One sunray peeks through
his blanket-covered window through a smoky Studio apartment.
He pulls himself up from his drunken sleep to grab a
crumpled pack of Parliament cigarettes and lights one. He
presses the voicemail on his phone.
      (on voice mail)
Well then let's get around one
more time, {chuckles} excuse me
bartender... Hey it's you. Just in
case buddy, her name is miranda..
What about me? Who is that?
never you worry gorgeous. It's my
mother i'm telling her all about
You are so sweet.
                                         PHONE HANGS UP
                       BILL COLLECTOR 1
This message is for Brian Jameson.
This is Bill calling from IBD
group. Please call us back at
                                         PHONE HANGS UP
Brian walks over to his fridge and opens the door the light
is burned out. He grabs and pulls out orange juice and
drinks from the container.
                       BILL COLLECTOR 2
This message is for Brian Jameson.
This is an attempt to collect a
debt. please call us back at
555-4345. Thank you.
                                         PHONE HANGS UP


Hey Baby it's me. Just callin' to
see if you're up which.. it
doesn't look like. GET UP!! you
have a deadline today. Broman has
been riding your ass cause you
don't make deadlines. You are
going to be tired if you don't get
that review in and he beats the
shit out of you... and you
promised to take me to dinner
tonight, you dick!...Love you.
                                         PHONE HANGS UP
Brian hops over a six-pack of beer on his floor and flops
into his chair. he pulls the laptop over to reveal a blank

door to his apt as light floods in he winces. Brian walks
out his mailbox.
Brian opens his mail box is filled with red bills. He drops
all in the trash but a pink envelope. the return adress is
"MOM" 6154 Newcomb Lane Elmhurst IL. He opens the card and
smiles he then puts a hundred dollar bill in his pocket.
Brians eyes shift to his car in front of him.
What the fuck?
Brian walks out into the parking lot to reveal a black Honda
Accord. It has a giant dent it the front like it had been
side swiped. Brian goes to examine his car with his mouth
open. Brian puts the envelope on top of his car and crouches
down to access the damage. He then carefully gets in the
front seat and looks at the console to pull out his
cigarettes without attention he puts one in his mouth and
realizes that they are American Spirits.
From the rearview mirror hangs a roadrunner figurine. Brian
realizes that this is not his car. Brian looks at the glove
compartment and opens it. Some of the contents have spill in
to the passenger seat and floor. Brian looks at the keys and
dials the numbers off of the valet ticket.


Hi, I was at the Bongo Room last
night. I valeted my car, and it
seems that you guys... gave me the
wrong car.
Oh....What? you have the wrong
car? This was last night?
Brian bends down to pickup the maps and pulls the floormat
back to retrive the fallen key and reveals a hidden panel in
the floor with a small keyhole in it.
Hello Sir?
You were given the wrong car or
the wrong keys?
I was given the wrong keys but
when they were given to me they
were waiting in the ignition of a
car like mine but...not mine.
Brian puts the key up to the keyhole in the panel, it fits.
Brian slowly turns the key and the panel pops open. Brian
puts his hand in. When he draws it out he has a saran
wrapped block of money.
Sir? Ok I can barely hear you. Ok,
you have the wrong car?
Brian Hangs up the phone.
He Digs his hand further down to retrieve block after block
of cash and at the end he reaches way down and pulls out two
blocks of brown saran wrapped rectangles.
Brian enters the apartment with a duffle-bag over his
shoulder. He takes the bundles out and places them on the
table. He quickly pushes all the bundles back into the bag
then he puts the duffle bag under a heaping pile of dirty
clothes. He stands over the laundry hamper before reaching


back in and pulling the drugs out wrapping them in a
shopping bag and walking them back out to the trunk of the
Brian walks head down to the trunk of the car and opens it
he throws the bag hard to the back of the trunk and closes
it. as he does he notices OFFICER RONNIE BREACH looking over
in his direction from the other side of the lot standing
next to his neighbor DAN.
OFF. Breach finishes up talking to Dan and walks across the
parking lot over to Brian.
                       OFF BREACH
Are you Brian Jameson of 424 Surf
                       OFF BREACH
apartment 3?
                       OFF BREACH
I'm Officer Breach Lincolnway
Police Heard you had a mix up last
night. AWS valet called us to
retrieve each vehicle.
      (pauses then
Wow that was fast.
                       OFF BREACH
Yeah..Yeah we work pretty fast. We
are attentive... and swift.. for
the taxpayers of our fair
city(Laughs). Wow, did this happen
last night.
No I'm pretty sure it was like


                       OFF BREACH
It was like that huh?..Let me ask
you a question. Does your care
(knocks on side of car) look like
Officer Breach walks around the car and pokes his head in
the windows.
Well, no.
                       OFF BREACH
You weren't a little concerned? or
aware of a giant gash in your
Honda Accord when you were handed
the keys?
Well I was a little..
                       OFF BREACH
Drunk? a few to take the edge off
driving this long way home?
NO.. distracted, see I had this
really good looking.. friend I
Officer Breach stops and puts his arm on the trunk.
                       OFF BREACH
Hell, I couldn't blame you. Lotta
Good looking tail up at that Bongo
Room. I'd be as riled up as
anybody. (Pause) Anything else
funny about this car?
Not that I know of.
                       OFF BREACH
You got the keys why don't you
open up the trunk?
Well, I think they're inside. I'll
run in and go get them.


Brian closes the door and leans his back against it.
Brian grabs the keys out of his pocket and puts the loose
Silver key on the key chain. he then darts across the room
and throws the dirty laundry hamper in the closet. He then
puts water on his face to calm down.
Brian walks out and hands the keys to Officer Breach.
Yeah I left them inside.
                       OFF BREACH
Oh, thanks.
Officer Breach opens the trunk and looks around. He pauses
and reaches for the white shopping bag. As he reaches his
sleeve pulls up his arm to reveal a long black tribal sleeve
of tattoo.
He pulls the bag out and pulls out one of the brown saran
wrapped bundles. He pulls a pocket knife and cuts into it
and digs two fingers in then tastes the content.
                       OFF BREACH
Well Well. Looks like we have a
very naughty owner of a smashed up
Honda Accord? Heroin.
Wow, I didn't know that was in
there, and to think I drove home
in this car.
                       OFF BREACH
But you knew this afternoon didn't
ya? Now I could have swore when i
was walking up, you were putting
this bag into the trunk.
Where's your partner?
                       OFF BREACH
Pardon me?


Your partner shouldn't you have a
partner for car retrieval? Is he
in your car? Did you drive here?
                       OFF BREACH
Of course I did. In your car. I
had to bring your car back didn't
Breach walks around the car and gets in the driver seat and
starts it up.
                       OFF BREACH
Now listen I'm gonna be calling
you in a few days after things
develop with the owner here. So
we'll be in touch.
Breach goes to drive off in the car when he is stopped by
Wait! Do I have to fill out a
police report or something right
now? I mean isn't that protocol?
                       OFF BREACH
Protocol. Relax kid we'll be in
contact if anything is wrong.
Wait! where's my car?
                       OFF BREACH
      (Long Pause)
It's on the street.. Take care
Breach drives off.
Brian walks upon his car it is completely torn apart inside.
Seats slashed, glovebox emptied.
What The Fuck!


The phone rings.
Please tell me that you will meet
your deadline.
Baby, I don't think so. It's been
a crazy morning. My cars been
Wait what? What happened?
Brian walks over and pulls the duffle bag out of his closet
and places it on the bed.
Don't worry, I could get it fixed.
Actually I don't think I need the
fuckin' car anymore.
Since when are you the high
Brian pulls the check from his mother from his pocket
unfolds it and drops it like a leaf on the six bundles of
I uh, came into some money
Let me guess, your mother bailed
you out?
Initially. Wait, where's that
envelope? Where's that card?
Brian looks up with terror in his face.
Brian's call waiting clicks
I'll call you back Dez.


Hello this is the Manager of AWS
Valet, we got disconnected. What
happened, you got the wrong car or
The End


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From David Chase Date 11/20/2008 ***
This is a perfect example of what I like most about short scripts. They're like good jokes, where a single, well placed punchline makes or breaks it. The payoff in this script is like the punchline, and it worked great. I think the dialogue could use some revision, it didn't sound quite as realistic as it should. But overall, I was pleased, particularly after reading the last few lines.

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