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No more Tears VERY VERY SHORT!!!!
by Desmond Dwight (desmond.dwight@gmail.com)

Rated: G   Genre: Drama   User Review: *1/2
A SHORT story about a young girl and the troubles in High School.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. SCHOOL CAFATERIA 1ST DAY - DAY
                                                            
Camera Comes in From high heading to one pacific table
towards the back in the corner.
                                                            
                       DESICA (VO)
This is where it all started. The
teasing the humiliation and the
heartbreak. I was never really
"popular" in middle school but i
never imaged this. The humiliation
it would bring. None of it. After
all it was just suppose to be High
School.
                                                            
Camera at eye level now another student is walking near.
Looks like a Junior maybe a senior. Male. He's walking
towards Desica who is sitting by herself with her black hood
up lisening to her hard rock on her ipod.
                                                            
                       MARK
      (Rudly)
HA look at this freshman. Hood all
up trying to act emo. Do you need
your mommy to come help you with
your first day. HEY I ASKED YOU A
QUESTION!
                                                            
The tables around started to laugh. Desica just looked up
not being able to hear what he said do to the loudness of
her ipod. She dosent look scared or worried she just lays
her head back down ignoring him completly. Which just makes
things worse.
                                                            
                       MARK
I ASKED YOU A QUESTION!
                                                            
Mark the flips Desica's hood off. Revealing her shiny black
hair she dosent look up. She still just lays there use to
all this humiliation.
                                                            
                       MARK
OH i see! Got your ipod on now do
you! Let me help you fix that.
                                                            
Mark then rips the shiny small ear buds from her ears at
which then she looks up. As she looks up at him her
expression blank except the worry that is slowly creaping in
he rips her ipod out of her pocket.
                                                            

2.

                       MARK
Thanks for the new ipod. It will
come in handy when i kick the rest
of the freshmans ass.
                                                            
                       DESICA
HEY YOU CAN'T TAKE.....
                                                            
He walks away before she can finish the rest of her
sentence. She just stares as he walks away. Expression
blank. You see her eyes move. Just her eyes as someone else
starts to walk towads her. She quickly puts her head down to
make sure the other student wouldn't see her face. She felt
ashamed. Just then she heard a voice. Like he was right
above her.
                                                            
                       JASON (VO)
      (You still see
       Desicas head down
       when he talks)
Sorry about that. He took my new
CD too.
                                                            
As he is saying this she does not look up. Does not move.
She just pretends she hears nothing. Nothing. Just like she
feels
                                                            
                       JASON
My names Jas....
                                                            
Just as he is about to introduce himself she whips up her
head and rudely interrupts him
                                                            
                       DESICA
      (Rudly Interupts)
You know i really don't care who
you are. Ok so why don't you run
back over to your little Football
Possy and pretend like you never
came over here. OK!
                                                            
Jason stands there in complete shock. Then he starts to
speak again. But not as you would think. He was kind and not
rude like you might have thought after the way Desica had
talked to him.
                                                            
                       JASON
Listen. My name is Jason. I know
how you feel. This is my 1st year
here too..
                                                            
                       DESICA
Your a fresh...
                                                            

3.

                       JASON
No I'm not a freshman but i just
moved here from Delaware. I know
how you feel. New school. New
people. New everything. Let me
know if you ever need anything.
                                                            
Before Desica could say anything he was gone. Not like
vanish just walked away. Didn't give her any time to say
anything. To get mad about anything. Just walked away
leaving her with only 2 things: 1 his name and 2 questions!
Jason what? Would she ever see him again? And why was he
being so nice?
                                                            
                       DESICA
      (Says to self)
Jason!
                                                            
Laughs a little
                                                            
                       DESICA
      (says to self
       smileing a little)
Thank you Jason
                                                            
The bell then rings the camera then slowly starts to zoom
out as Desica gets up from her table and slowly starts to
walk out of the cafateria as the camera just keeps zooming
out still watching as she walks out.
                                                            
 
INT. ART - MR. SMITH - DAY
                                                            
The screen is completly green. Then as the camera moves back
to reveal that it was only a black board you see the words
ART written in all capital letters. Then a very tall and
very large boy walks in from of the board. You then see that
it is Mark.
                                                            
                       MARK
Now lets get one thing straight
here "Class" IM THE BOSS HERE!
                                                            
The class just stares at him in complete and utter silence.
No one wanted to say anything to him with his size and
mucsel mass.
                                                            
                       MARK (CONT'D)
Don't mess with me! If i tell you
to do something YOU DO IT! Got
that Straight!?
                                                            

4.

Just then the camera quickly goes to the door as you hear
the doornobe open slowly. In walks a man about 6'2 and
200lbs. Seems to be in his early 30s. He then walks to the
front of the class.
                                                            
                       MR. SMITH
Hello Class. Mark thank you but i
can take it from here. My name is
Mr. Smith. I will be your Art
teacher. I assume that mark gave
you his yearly "i am the boss
speach?"
                                                            
The whole class then all nods there heads in unison. Just
then Mark stands up angerly.
                                                            
The music then starts to get a little intence.
                                                            
                       MARK
SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU! SHUT UP! I AM
THE BOSS HERE AND YOU WILL ALL
LISTEN TO ME!
                                                            
                       MR. SMITH
Mark you will sit down now! Don't
do this to your self!
                                                            
                       MARK
NO! NO! IM DONE WITH THIS ITS ALL
STUPID!
                                                            
Mr. Smith then walks over to the phone. Dialing numbers with
such force and attitud you would have thought the phone had
broken then he starts to speak but you can't understand what
he is saying.
                                                            
                       MR. SMITH
      (ANGERLY)
The new principal and the nurse
will be up in a minitue. You can
sit in the hall while you wait!
                                                            
                       MARK
FINE BUT MOCK MY WORDS YOUR ALL
MINE YOUR ALL MINE!!!!!
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Susette Malloy Date 10/19/2010 1/2
think it was a really good script! I think you should make it a little longer though and check your spelling. The main issue I have with this from a story perspective, is that it seems more like a scene that should be part of a longer work. As a stand alone work, there just isn't enough to it. One of the first things I noticed was a lot of references to the camera. Leave camera direction to the people making the movie, and just tell the story as straightforward as possible. And on that note, scripts are always writter in present tense; this script jumps back and forth between present and past tense. Keep in mind, too, that movies are visual, which means you can't write what people are thinking, or write things a reader might assume. On page 3 there's reference to what Dessica is thinking. Unless the audience reads the script, they won't know any of this. There needs to be something VISUAL to suggest these things. And if you want to put your best foot forward, pay attention to spelling and grammar, as well as to the expressions you use. On page 1, I think you mean to say "specific table", and on the last page, the expression is "mark my words". These seem like petty things, but anyone interested in your script will pick up on them. My advice is to do a lot of reading on the subject of screenwriting, there are tons of good books out there. And practice, practice, practice. Sorry, bu I don't think this is a story that a lot of people will read. There are some errors not just in the story, but also in the writing. Most of the time you write in past tense. It is always meant to be in PRESENT tense. Attempt to avoid using WE and YOU as it is not a shooting script. Also, when you describe someone, make it sound like you are sure of the character. (Revealing an example from the story) Don't say "looks like a junior, maybe a senior". You need to know your own characters and carefully design them. Read more about scripts and view some four-star scripts here. That can help you do much better.Not sure where you are going with this story. It doesn't really resolve anything. Are you planning on continuing the story? Don't worry about putting in camera directions as a director will take care of this. Have the directions flow a little better and tell the story. It doesn't seem smooth. Proof read for spelling and grammatical errors.This finished work? Not a whole lot seems to happen. How about Desica and Jason meeting again in Art class? It probably would've been better had it been part of a feature length script, for example expand on Mark's threats, he seems angry. And explore Desica and Jason more of course. Oh, and do boys really bully girls in high school like that?

From Cameron Date 12/22/2008 ****
I think it was a really good script! I think you should make it a little longer though and check your spelling.

From Sean Wallace Date 12/11/2008 **1/2
This finished work? Not a whole lot seems to happen. How about Desica and Jason meeting again in Art class? It probably would've been better had it been part of a feature length script, for example expand on Mark's threats, he seems angry. And explore Desica and Jason more of course. Oh, and do boys really bully girls in high school like that?

From Kevin Isaacson Date 12/11/2008 *
Not sure where you are going with this story. It doesn't really resolve anything. Are you planning on continuing the story? Don't worry about putting in camera directions as a director will take care of this. Have the directions flow a little better and tell the story. It doesn't seem smooth. Proof read for spelling and grammatical errors.

From Sven Date 12/10/2008 *
Sorry, bu I don't think this is a story that a lot of people will read. There are some errors not just in the story, but also in the writing. Most of the time you write in past tense. It is always meant to be in PRESENT tense. Attempt to avoid using WE and YOU as it is not a shooting script. Also, when you describe someone, make it sound like you are sure of the character. (Revealing an example from the story) Don't say "looks like a junior, maybe a senior". You need to know your own characters and carefully design them. Read more about scripts and view some four-star scripts here. That can help you do much better.

From David Chase Date 12/10/2008 *
The main issue I have with this from a story perspective, is that it seems more like a scene that should be part of a longer work. As a stand alone work, there just isn't enough to it. One of the first things I noticed was a lot of references to the camera. Leave camera direction to the people making the movie, and just tell the story as straightforward as possible. And on that note, scripts are always writter in present tense; this script jumps back and forth between present and past tense. Keep in mind, too, that movies are visual, which means you can't write what people are thinking, or write things a reader might assume. On page 3 there's reference to what Dessica is thinking. Unless the audience reads the script, they won't know any of this. There needs to be something VISUAL to suggest these things. And if you want to put your best foot forward, pay attention to spelling and grammar, as well as to the expressions you use. On page 1, I think you mean to say "specific table", and on the last page, the expression is "mark my words". These seem like petty things, but anyone interested in your script will pick up on them. My advice is to do a lot of reading on the subject of screenwriting, there are tons of good books out there. And practice, practice, practice.


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