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You Play to Win the Game
by Mark Maskeny (mark.maskeny@gmu.edu)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
Set in the Northern Virginia Washington DC area Beautiful Disaster is the story of the eternally frustrated and soft Corey Wallace. Beautiful OCD enigma Alex Oberlin broke up with Corey a month prior and is causing his life to spiral out of control. Corey battles for custody of his 9 year old freshmen in high school prodigy son Elliot Wallace against lifelong nemesis Luca Mascerano. After a stressful last day at work, Corey’s close friends Wade, Ricardo, and Larry decide to take him to a DC night club to meet some attractive bachelorette's. Corey is left alone to entertain the girls as his friends are at the bar getting shots. Suddenly the charismatic, ball-busting professional golfer, Garrett Devlin goes in for the steal. He verbally and emotionally embarrasses Corey to the brink. The beautiful disaster soon occurs and the two men are thrown into a serious predicament with the law. Tempted to settle for $20,000 dollars Corey decides that money is not as important as the opportunity to learn from one of the most infamous ladies men in the world. Corey decides that if he learns from the best, he may have a chance of attracting his ex-girlfriend Alex back into his life. His journey will not be easy as super vain rich boy Luca Mascerano does everything in his power to ruin Corey’s life, trying to gain vengeance from a previous disgrace.

Copyrighted under the W.G.A.


Inside of the mammoth new Washington DC Warriors stadium,
fans are cheering at the top of their lungs, as the
Washington Warriors defense is entrenched on the goal line
against its arch nemesis the Dallas Bandits. The Washington
defense is led by Hall of fame worthy linebacker, Alpha, and
egotistical ROCK JOHNSON(37). The offense of the Dallas
Bandits is 2 yards from scoring the game winning touchdown.
       addressing his
LETS GO ON 3! 1, 2, 3, HIT!!
The Bandits offense runs the ball to the right where the
beastly Rock Johnson penetrates through the line of
scrimmage and destroys the running back 5 yards behind the
line of scrimmage. The crowd cheers wildly as the Bandits
head coach calls a timeout to stop the clock with 17 seconds
                                         CUT TO:
Good guy millennial, MIKE GARRETT(24) is playing the online
computer game Defense of the Ancients 2 (DOTA 2) online,
with his friend, the hilarious and witty, Day9(28). Both are
professional DOTA 2 players and they are training for an
upcoming tournament. In the adjacent room the Washington
football game is on TV. Mike's friends and roommates--
The boisterous, ball busting DOUG "Monty" MONTEZUMA (23,
Latino American) the innocent, and friendly WILL CHANG(22,
Chinese Immigrant) and the eccentric, high energy DRE
GODDARD (23 African American). All three are watching the
football game.
      (Jumping up and
BOOM! Stick that nigga ROCK! Clap
that nigga up!
      (thick Chinese
Oh yeah! Hit that guy! So ganster!


Mike is extremely focused on DOTA2 as and is trying his best
to keep up in his game. His teammate Day9 is playng the game
flawlessly and is concerned with Mike's play and is calling
him out on it. The two argue back and forth while Dota 2
caster GrandGrant is making snippy jokes and comments.
                                         CUT TO
The Washington Warriors defensive coordinator is coaching
the defense on the sideline.
                       COACH KELLY
Cover everyone! Don't let up, take
everything you have inside of you
and unleash it now. Don't give
them a single inch! Get violent
you fucking animals!!!
The defense roars and runs back onto the field, lining up
against the Bandits defense. The tight end on the Bandits
goes into motion and Rock follows him. The ball snaps and
the tight end runs a button hook route right on the goal
line. The ball is passed his way and is nearly caught before
Rock dives and swats it to the ground. The crowd cheers
wildly as it is now 3rd and goal on the 7 yard line with 12
seconds remaining in the game.
You can't throw on me! Get that
weak shit out of here!
                                         CUT TO
Monty, Dre, and Will are all on the edge of their seats and
super excited.
Oh my GOD did you see that? This
man is incredible!
This is too much, I can't watch!
So big! So fast!
MIKE! How are you not watching
this? You fuckin nerd, playing
that damn game!
Mike is wearing headphones and cannot hear Monty. His game
is progressing to the middle phase and Day9 is beginning to
get on Mike's nerves and tilts his emotional state making
him play worse and worse. Day9 realizes this and goes silent
as their game spirals out of control.
                                         CUT TO


Both teams are lined up against one another and the crowd is
chanting "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!". It's 3rd and 7 and The Bandits
are in a 4 wide receiver set. Rock is calling out all sorts
of defensive alignments to his teammates. The Bandits snap
the ball and after a couple of seconds the Bandits
quarterback starts running up the middle to the endzone on a
draw play. Rock flies after him, grabs his jersey and swings
him backwards before scoring. The Bandits call their final
timeout at the 2 yard line with 5 seconds remaining.
                                         CUT TO
Monty, Dre, and Will are all grabbing each other, jumping
around and screaming wildly.
Oh God it's happening! I'm losing
my mind. Everyone hold hands it's
fourth down.
Close your eyes, hold hands and
hum, hold hands and hum
Ok yes, this is American ritual.
Monty, Dre, and Will hold hands, close their eyes and begin
humming in unison.
Mike's Dota 2 hero gets killed again early in a crucial team
fight. Mike, frustrated, hits his keyboard and curses as his
team has lost all hope of winning their game.
                                         CUT TO
It's 4th and 2 on the goal line and everyone in the stadium
is on their feet. The Bandits line up in a goal line
formation, and the Warriors defense matches with their goal
line stance. The Bandits hike the ball, and play-action pass
to their fullback on the outside. Rock wisely reads the play
and is in full pursuit. Right before the Bandits fullback
leaps to the pylon in the endzone, Rock lunges and knocks
his body out of bounds inches before scoring the game
winning touchdown. The clock is at 0 and the Washington
Warriors win the game. The stadium is deafeningly loud. The
Warriors team swarms Rock and begin celebrating.
                                         CUT TO


Monty and Dre run around screaming and jumping all over the
place, with Will following and imitating. Monty starts
throwing and breaking things in jubilation then runs over to
Mike and starts grabbing him. Dre and Will run over and
start jumping around Mike. Mike looks sullen as his friends
celebrate around him.
      (raises hands in
      (takes Mike's
       headphones off)
We're gonna win the SUPERBOWL!
It's week one!
Who cares what week it is! We are
going to the big game!
Yeah! Superbowl baby!
Alright whatever congrats, I have
to go to work.
Make some money and get your mind
right boy, we going out to party
                                         CUT TO
Mike exits out of his house and walks to his junky green
sedan. The drivers side door handle is broken so Mike has to
jump through the open window to get in. Mike speeds out of
his neighborhood into the suburbs of northern Virginia.
Mike's face goes from being anxious to angry as he
approaches bumper to bumper traffic. Mike is behind a truck
in a long line of traffic in the left turn lane. When the
light changes and all the cars begin slowly turning left,
Mike speeds up behind the truck. With limited vision he
turns left seconds after the turn signal goes red. Mike's
car is nearly T-boned by oncoming traffic leading to many
drivers to honk their horns at him. Mike eventually makes it
to work, parks his car, climbs out of his window and lands
awkwardly on the ground. He gets up and runs inside of his
place of employment, the Buffalo wing palace.
Mike rushes through the front door and jogs through the
restaurant to the kitchen. All of the servers are waiting
anxiously in the kitchen, circled around asshole


Indian/American manager ARJUN(28). He looks at Mike with a
very dissatisfied expression as he points to his watch.
You're late, dumbass!
I'm sorry I got pull--
DON'T even go there Mike! My
Bandits lost and I'm not in the
mood to hear your lazy ass
Arjun begins pacing back and forth.
      (Very serious;
Now listen up, tonight is going to
be very busy and I expect nothing
short of perfection. You should
all know the rules by now.
      (counts off on
Giving out extra blue cheese,
FIRED. Getting loose with the
celery, FIRED. Complaints... You
get a long complaint from me about
how FIRED your bitch ass is. You
throw out my cash and I throw out
the white trash!
      (angrily points at
And I swear to God Mike if you...
      (composes self,
       walks over to the
       heated food
       window and picks
       up a buffalo wing)
Do you all know why my family
pay's you each $2.14 an hour to
feed these greasy, little pieces
of heavenly goodness to stupid,
fat, white America?
Mike is silent, with an emotionless look on his face as the
rest of the wait staff replies with a disheartened "yes".
Arjun gets right up in Mike's face. Mike doesn't make any
eye contact.
      (Hilarious stare)
To make MY bank account chubby...
      (Takes a slow bite
       out of the
       buffalo wing)
Motherfucker you can't even hold
my jockstrap.
Arjun backs off.


      (scanning the wait
Let's not have a repeat of the
lazy BULLSHIT I saw going down
last week. Now go make me MY money
ya little white slaves!
      (shoo's off the
Mike begins to walk off but Arjun grabs his shoulder from
behind and grips his shirt real tight.
      (very serious)
I'll be counting those napkins
Mike. I DARE you to get careless,
I DARE you.
Mike slowly backs away from Arjun and walks out of the
                                         CUT TO:
ALLIE OBERLIN(25), stylish, beautiful, intelligent, OCD, and
hilariously awkward. She is an assistant to dictatorial
fashion designer TANG KIM(Mid Forties). Tang is a highly
irritable perfectionist with a thick Korean accent. He has a
lazy eye and speaks in the third person.

Allie has a clipboard in hand, and head set turned on. She
is getting everything organized for Tang's seasonal fashion
      (Eccentric; prissy
       Korean accent)
Hello, Allie? Give me a count on
models. Check runway equipment,
double check the guest list and...
      (yells while
       looking up)
and bring Tang his puppy dog!
Standing with dictatorial posture, Tang points his finger
across the room.
Yes sir. Right away!
Allie hastily walks off set.
                                         CUT TO:


Mike is walking out of the kitchen with a huge tray
completely stacked with buffalo wings. Mike approaches a
large table with fifteen teenagers.
      (looking around at
       the teenagers)
Ummm lets see here, I have hot
wings, really hot wings, and
ridiculously hot wings.
A few teenagers give Mike a blank stare, one snickers at
him, and the rest are chatting with one another not paying
      (attempting to get
Hot? Hot? Hot?
      (nobody responds)
Fuck me.
A morbidly obese girl overhears him and gives Mike a lustful
look slowly sucks on the tip of her finger. Mike gives an
awkward look back and walks away.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie is approaching Tang with a clipboard in one hand, and
a tiny Shi Tzu puppy in the other. The puppy is dressed in a
ridiculous outfit. Allie walks over and hands the puppy to
      (babying the puppy)
There's my little princess. Have
you been a good little puppy dog?
      (puts the puppy
       down and reaches
       into pocket for a
Good little puppy dogs who do the
happy feet get a treat!
The puppy barks at Tang and excitedly wags its tail.
Do the happy feet now!
The dog gives a curious look and continues barking.
In Korea, bad little puppy dog's


                       TANG (cont'd)
who don't do the happy feet get
turned into moo goo pork! Now do
the GOD DAMN happy feet!
The puppy gets on its hind legs and flaps its front paws in
the air, begging for the treat.
      (gives the puppy
       the treat)
That's my little princess!
      (picks the puppy
       back up)
Is everything in order Allie?
      (a little nervous)
We have a problem sir.
A problem? Tang doesn't tolerate
problems! Fix it!
It's Kate Upton sir. She has
backed out last minute.
What?! Why Kate Upton not here?
She has an issue with some of the
genius items you have in store for
tonight's show.
What is she so afraid of! Tell her
I need her now!
I'm sorry but I don't think she is
going to show.
      (super thick
       korean accent)
Tell her Tang double her pay! and
to hurry back with them big ol'
Yes sir, right away!
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is frantically running around, he drops off two drinks
at a table occupied by a drugged up and crazy elderly
couple. Mike then runs to the kitchen and notices Arjun
waiting next to a large tray of wings.


Hey kracka! This shit has been
sitting here for 5 minutes!
It's crazy out there and it's not
like I'm getting any help from
Precious, or Dog the bounty hunter
over here.
Mike point's to two obese female servers moving at a very
slow pace.
Those bitches suck my dick after
every shift! Fucking Hunger Games
all over my shit every night and
those appetites never get
satisfied! What do you give me?
Absolutely nothing, now get this
shit out there and put a little
enthusiasm and cheerfulness into
Mike picks up the tray and hastily races to the table
without looking at any of the patrons.
      (Very cheesy; fake
Have no fear, everybody! I just
KNOW you're gonna love our
delicious fried CHICKEN!
Mike picks his head up and notices a African American family
of 7 all giving him a perplexed look. WANITA JOHNSON(45) the
mother of the family gives Mike a disappointed, judging
      (wide eyes)
Excuse me?
Oh no... That wasn't supposed to,
you see I don't think I...
The table continues to stare daggers at him with no
response. JAIME JOHNSON(21) an attractive and cheerful
african american woman, is at the table laughing to herself
as Mike very quickly and uncomfortably hands out all of the

Mike notices the ALPHA-TEEN of his large table with a dozen
obnoxious teenagers, a burly football player standing 6'6
tall. Alpha-teen begins waving him down. As Mike begins
walking over he hears a chant begin,"Ulcer popper, Ulcer
Popper". The teens are all slamming their fists on the table
in unison with the chant. One of their peers is hastily
eating the super hot wings, sweating profusely.


                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Hey waiter! ALL of us need
separate checks and we have to go
like right now so hurry up.
Ok, it will take a few minutes.
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Yeah whatever dude, hurry the fuck
The teen eating the ulcer poppers grabs Mike's arm to get
his attention. His face is bloated and he is clearly in
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
Hey waiter I need like two
pitchers right now!
Pitchers of?
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
      (clearly in pain)
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Before Mike can run back to the kitchen one of his tables
grabs his attention.
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
Hey we all need separate checks.
It might take a little while, I'm
really busy I'll get it to you as
fast as I can.
The table gives Mike annoyed looks as he darts to yet
another table who is waving him down. The table with the
elderly couple.
Hi, what can I get for you all?
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (has a blank stare
       in his eyes)
We have been waiting for you to
take our order for over an hour
young man!


                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (insane, huge
Mike gives a strange look to the insane elderly woman then
turns his attention to the zoned out one. He pulls out a
notepad and pen to take their order.
I just got your drinks a minute
ago, sir.
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (looking at menu)
I would like to get...
The drugged, zoned out elderly man sits there staring at the
menu for a moment while Mike anxiously waits with pen in
hand. Chaos ensues all around him as he impatiently waits
for an order.
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (Creepily stares
       at Mike)
I like toast!
I like toast as well.
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (hitting her hands
       on the table)
Pee pee cacka! Pee pee cacka!
The insane elder pulls out a laser pointer and begins
flashing it in Mike's eyes while silently chuckling to
herself. Mike is at wits end. The drugged up elder is
seemingly passed out before abruptly waking up to answer.
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (completely blank
       expression and
What is the difference between
hot, ridiculously hot, and really
Mike'sexpression turns to one of complete mental agony.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie is swiftly moving around in the changing room making
sure all of the models are wearing the right outfits. She
hands out different sunglasses to different models as they
walk past her.


This one's for you, this is for
you, and this one is for you.
                       TANG (o.s.)
      (Yelling at the
I want some sexy emotions out
there people! Give Tang fierce,
devious, sex crazed looks! Yes
perfect! Perfect!
Tang walks up to Allie.
Good work Allie, everything is
perfect so far.
      (breaks a smile)
Thank you Tang.
All Tang asks for is a horse hair
of professionalism. In Korea you
sew sweater for 3 year if you fuck
up show! So get your shit together
and make this fucking show
sparkle! You feel me?
I totally feel you, I'm on it.
Tang looks at a very thin male model while walking
Suck in that gut, you fat idiot!
Supermodel SHEA SYRUS(23) walks up beside Allie in a line to
walk out on the runway. Allie turns her head, notices Shea
right beside her and gasps at how beautiful she is.
Wow! I'm sorry but you are
absolutely gorgeous. I mean I have
seen you in magazines and on TV
but.. Wow.
Thank you...
      (extending hand to
You're doing a great job Allie. If
you keep this up, Tang might keep
you around.


I don't know about that, but
thanks anyways, it's a great
Tang's assistants usually don't
last very long, but he likes you.
Are you doing anything after the
Oh no nothing probably.
      (looks back and
       smiles right
       before walking
       out onto the
Not tonight you aren't, you're
coming out on the town with me!
Allie gives a bright smile as Shea seductively walks down
the runway to the flickering and flashing of many camera's.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is slowly walking back to his tables with about 15
credit cards and a handful of checks. He drops the cards off
at their respective tables. He then notices that 4 teenagers
walked out on their bills. Mike looks at the alpha-teen.
Hey your friends didn't pay! That
comes out of my pocket, can you
get them back here?
Two cars outside peel out, tires screeching. Meanwhile the
table with the teen eating the "Ulcer poppers" are all
cheering again. The Ulcer popper teen alternates between
drinking the pitcher of milk and beer, clumsily spilling
some of each on himself as he does it.
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
      (quickly signing
       credit card)
Sorry BRO, can't help you!
The teenagers all bail out, and as Mike starts to run after
them, he hears the elderly table calling him back over. Mike
yo-yo's back to the elderly table with an extremely
frustrated look on his face.
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
Waiter, I think we're ready to
      (Slowly scanning
       the menu for a


                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN (cont'd)
I would like the-
Before the drugged elderly man can finish his sentence, the
teen who ate the ulcer poppers and chugged the pitchers
begins projectile vomiting all over the table and on the
floor. The elderly couple begins laughing really loud in
unison. The rest of the restaurant has a collective
"OOOOOOOH" moment and all of Mike's tables begin to walk out
of the restaurant without paying.
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (pointing to the
       man who vomited)
I'll have what he's having!
Arjun runs over to the scene with a furious look on his
face. He has a huge stack of napkins in his hand.
You fucking moron! How hard is
your job?! It's waiters, or should
I say...
      (lifts up the
       stack of napkins
       for Mike to see)
Wasters like you that make an
embarrassment out of customer
      (dead stare)
Bu-bu-BUT you... Are...
      (moves in close to
       Mike's ear and
Fired, little duffle bag boy. Now
go and give my money little duffle
bag boy.
Mike snaps and splits into a fantasy reality. He pulls a
huge wad of money out of his apron, places it into Arjun's
hand. Arjun looks down at the money, then Mike grabs the
stack of napkins and places them on Arjun's head with his
left hand.
It didn't have to be this way.
Mike cocks his right arm back and unloads a right cross on
the napkins over Arjun's slow motioned rocking skull. Arjun
falls down onto the mess of puke. Mike walks through the
floating napkins in slow motion.

Suddenly Mike snaps back into reality where he is still
standing face to face with a grinning Arjun. He silently
hands over his apron with all of his money and proceeds to
walk out of the Buffalo Wing Palace without saying a word.


                                         CUT TO:
Mike is driving home in his car, he pulls into his driveway,
parks the car and slips out of his side window. Mike walks
up to his front door with a depressed expression.
                                         CUT TO:
As Mike enters the house he walks to the fridge and grabs a
couple of beers. The roommates are relaxing on the couch
smoking and drinking while playing beer pong.
      (playing beer pong)
You're home a little early
sweetheart. How was work?
Without responding, Mike uses his car key to poke a
shotgunning hole in one beer. He shotguns the beer, and
tosses the empty can into the trash can.
That bad?
Still silent Mike pokes a hole in the second beer and
shotguns it. He then begins searching for the house Bong.
Looks like somebody is trying to
get fucked up!
Mike finds the bong and grabs it. He picks up a lighter off
the table and tries to light it but it's short on fluid.
We taking your punk ass out
tonight. It's time your little
white dick got some lovin.
You need many pussy Mike. So
lonely have you been.
Mike ignores them, attempting to light the bong.
You have been listening to so much
Fray and Ellie Goulding I'm
convinced you've turned into a
You will be happy soon. Come out
and meet new girl with us tonight!


Mike finally gets the lighter to work and begins to pull a
massive hit in.
Mike looks to Dre, then to Monty and Will, he then looks up
into the air, gives a faint smile while still pulling smoke.
Monty, Dre and Will notice the fury of the hit and start
      (on the verge of
So much smoke!
Smoke that shit!
Take it you autistic finger
painting son of a bitch!
Demons I command you to leave this
mans body!
Amen my brotha!
Mike begins to furiously inhale the massive cloud of yellow
smoke in the bong until it clears out. Mike holds all the
smoke in for a good 5 seconds before almost suffocating

Mike manages to cough it all out to the laughter of his
friends. After a good ten seconds of coughing Mike composes
himself. Mike's eyes are bloodshot.
So I just got fired.
Everyone cheers and laughs hysterically at Mike.
Dude you are such a loser! It's so
sad and hilarious at the same
Waiting tables is some bullshit
anyways. Don't you got some
bitcoins saved up?
It's all good brotha, don't worry
about that shitty ass job.
I don't know guys. I seriously
don't know.


Get drunk. Easy.
Yeah dude just binge.
Lets burn stuff!
Yeah lets burn shit and get drunk!
Or better yet get drunk and start
burning shit!
I love Allie, you guys don't
understand. She was perfect, It's
not like I want to listen to awful
music all day. I feel so alone and
I can't stop thinking about her. I
want her back. I just feel
terrible... I don't know guys. I'm
broken inside.
Listen to yourself, I "FEEL" this
I "FEEL" that you are such a bitch
it's ridiculous. Allie is getting
bent over by an enormous black man
right now, blacker than Dre while
you sit here whining like a bitch.
Dre laughs out loud for a second then composes himself.
I am sad for you sir.
How do you date a girl and not get
attached? I don't understand.
      (hyping Mike up)
It's called being a fuckin man!
Now man up and get your shit ready
to go out and get with some fine
ass hoes! Are you ready?
Not really.
      (Intense grabbing
       Mike's shirt)
      (a little more
Yeah yeah.


      (jumps up in
       Mike's face)
Yeah get crunk, fuck bitches,
America baby!
                                         CUT TO:
Loud rap music plays as Mike, Dre, Monty, and Will walk
inside of a vibrant night club. A large number of people are
dancing and having a great time. The dance floor can be seen
with lots of people grinding, a couple kissing, and
eventually pans to Mike who isn't dressed well and looks
extremely high.
      (energetic and
       looking around)
Alright let's go talk to some
      (admiring the
       women in the club)
Where to begin? My oh my.
You're finally unleashed back into
the wild Mike, look at all the
girls to choose from.
So what we just go up and hit on
random girls?
      (gives Mike a dumb
I'm not.. Very good at this.
Alcohol was invented for this
So I get drunk, talk to women and
convince them to have sex with me


All you gotta do is just keep
drinking what you're drinking and
go with the flow. Comprendo you
filthy hoe?
Monty spots a group of four young attractive girls looking
at them.
Alright guys sit tight, I'm going
Monty walks toward the girls.
Oh wow, I just got really nervous
my entire stomach just went into a
huge knot.
      (crosses arms)
Relax baby, breathe.
I feel so awkward right now.
Why so awkward?
      (drifting off)
I can't stop thinking about Allie.
What if she sees me here? What if
one of her friends sees me?
Bro you need to chill the fuck out
and keep drinking. If I hear you
mention that girls name one more
time tonight I'm gonna slap the
shit out of you.
I feel guilty because I know she
wouldn't be going out so soon.
                                         CUT TO:
Across the street from Mike and friends, Allie is walking
into a nightclub with Shea. They are both dressed very
fashionable and look beautiful.

All of the guys in the club are looking at Allie and the
stunning model Shea.
                       ALLIE (v.o.)
      (scans first guy
       she sees)
Hey, you look friendly.


                       ALLIE (cont'd)
      (The guy gives a
       deep, creepy
maybe a little too friendly.
      (scans second guy
       who has weak
       tentative eye
Looks scared in this jungle, and I
can't trust a man with shoes so...
      (Sees another guy
       smiling at her
       with bad teeth)
Floss and brush, please.
Allie and Shea find a spot at the bar.
Lets get some drinks!
I haven't been out in forever.
This is exciting!
Allie tries to get the bartender's attention and pulls some
cash out.
Put that money away. We don't have
to pay for anything.
I'll just buy us some, I hate when
guys buy drinks, they always get
weird and act like they deserve to
have sex with you.
      (notices two guys
       checking her out)
I think we've found a couple of
Two Italian American, Jersey Shore esque guido's begin to
approach them.
      (notices the two
Oh great, Bebop and Rock Steady.
                                         CUT TO:
Dre notices Monty walking back with the four attractive
Alright here they come. Put your
game face on Mike.


Monty arrives with the four attractive girls.
Guys this is Kate, Sarah, Lindsay,
and Charlene.
Everyone exchanges greetings.
      (to Mike)
So are you really a famous exotic
Monty winks at Mike.
      (horrified look)
Yeah well actually-
      (is interrupted by
      (eye codes his
He does nasty, hip bouncing,
private shows for the select few
that are lucky enough to afford
his time.
The girls look at each other and laugh.
Do we have to pay or will we get
lucky tonight?
      (With a sly look)
I'm a great believer in luck. I
hear the harder you work the more
luck you have.
Just take a look at this fine
Dre grabs Mike's arm and spins him around.
Yeah I mean I try to work out
So what's your favorite song to
strip to?
      (sarcastic, trying
       to play along)
Timberlake, "Sexy back". Sometimes
"Rock the Casbah" depending on my


I thought it was "Light Your Ass
on Fire" by Busta!
The four girls look at each other and laugh again. They
whisper to each other for a couple seconds.
Let's see what you got, stripper
The girls all surround Mike and drag him onto the dance
floor. Dre, Will, and Monty follow. Mike is trying to have
fun, and musters up some energy.

Mike boldly does goofy half-assed dance moves. Dre and Monty
step back while Mike and Will dance with the girls.
Like a lamb being thrown into the
wolves den.
This is good for him.
Anything is better than hearing
him cry in his room all day and
night. That girl destroyed him
like Rock Johnson destroyed the
Bandits today.
Mike does a goofy Charleston dance with his knees.
His knees buckle together so
Yo we're going to need more
When was the last time we got him
out in the wild?
The real question is... When was
the last time he survived in the
                                         CUT TO:
Allie, Shea, Bebop and Rocksteady are standing next to the
bar facing each other. Bebop and Rocksteady are both
sporting blow out hair cuts, they are both very arrogant
with an aggressive attitude. The four throw back a round of


How are you girls feeling? I feel
great, I feel SO DRUNK!
Yeah you girls are in for a treat.
What kind of treat?
You broads get to be with the
illest cats from Jersey. We got
connects, we roll deep baby.
Who do you know?
You know my boy Pauly D and
Situation they my brothers I go
way back with those dudes--
Rocksteady gets slapped by Bebop before he can finish.
Don't be lying to these broads!
What he meant to say was he knows
a friend of a friend whose fucked
Pauly D.
Yeah that's what I meant to say,
why did ya hit me, ya prick?
      (whispers to Allie)
These two are clowns, let's walk.
Thanks for the drinks guys, I
think we're going upstairs for
some fresh air. See you around.
Allie starts to walk past the two, then Bebop grabs her arm.
We just bought you broads drinks
and you ain't even gonna give us a
      (removes his hand)
Maybe later, bye!
                                         CUT TO:


Dre, and Monty are still watching Mike, Will and the girls
dance. Monty notices his drink is empty. Monty shows Dre his
empty drink and walks up to Will.
      (whispers to Will)
Yo Will come help us grab some
shots for everyone. Let Mike dance
with these hoes.
Monty, Dre, and Will walk off to the bar.
The song ends, Mike and the four girls all walk over to
where they were talking before, looking aimlessly for the
      (Looking around)
Where did your friends go?
They are probably getting some
Mike has really weak posture and is fidgeting around.
So what do you do?
I'm a stripper?
Haha that was funny but seriously
what do you do?
I actually just got fired from
Buffalo Wing Palace today.
      (laughs to herself)
Sorry to hear that.
You should go on gluttony
Thursday's! All you can eat wing
special, great times. We should
totally meet up sometime.
       disinterested and
       pulls her phone
Sounds like fun.


      (starts pulling
       out his phone)
Have you ever played Angry bir-
Out of seemingly nowhere Rock Johnson who has been patiently
observing, makes his move on the women with a hapless Mike
to defend.

Rock smoothly glides in, not facing the girls directly.
Rock maintains a very confident frame the entire time and
has superb body language.
How long have you all been waiting
for me to come talk to you?
The four girls blush, look at each other, and start laughing
at Rock's confidence and bravado. Nobody is aware of the
fact that Rock is the star of the city however.
So girls, I have a question my
good friend and I were discussing.
If someone is looking to buy a
condo in the city, would it be
best to be closer to the
waterfront or further in?
The girls laugh and give out different responses split on
waterfront and further in.
I think it would make more sense
to save money and live in the
They all give Mike a look of "Who is this guy?".
      (notices Mike)
So who is this fine gentleman? and
which one of these beautiful girls
are you getting frisky with?
This is Mike, and he is a famous
exotic dancer!
      (fear stricken)
Well actually--
       Mike; Ballbusting)
A famous exotic dancer! Oh my God
this is perfect, I know so many
women who are dying for a good
show. I couldn't help but notice
the little Charleston dance you
just did. It was mesmerizing. Are
you an expert in Lindy Hop or are
you just showing off?


      (Struggling for an
I think it just comes to me
naturally most of the time, a lot
of improvisation.
Your attire screams "Slimy Whore"
I love it. Where did you find this
cool shirt? I hear the clearance
rack at Penny's is great for
things like these.
The girls all laugh at Rock's quip.
      (deflated and
OK so I'm dressed like a hobo,
what makes you so special?
Rock walks up to Mike's ear and non-threateningly whispers.
      (bright smile;
Rock gives the girls an eye-code of let's ditch this guy.
      (bright smile)
You four have to meet my friends,
they are some of the most
interesting and successful
gentlemen in the world.
The four girls all look at each other, excitedly agree and
begin following Rock as he walks away. Rock turns his head
around and winks at Mike a good 10 feet away. Mike has an
sad/deflated look on his face.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie and Shea are upstairs at the patio bar on the roof. It
is a very clear and beautiful night outside.
I am buying drinks from now on.
That guy grabbed my arm and called
us broads!
Oh that wasn't bad at all, five
times out of ten a huge fight
breaks out.
You mean half the time.


Yeah whatever.
      (sees Bebop and
       Rock Steady
Oh no here they come.
Bebop and Rock Steady are walking to Allie and Shea, but
right before they get to them LUCA MASCERANO(24) and JOHN
CARNEY(23) intercept and block out Bebop and Rock Steady.
Both are handsome, dressed very well, and are very
charismatic in tandem. John is Irish American, while Luca is
Italian American. Both are from rich families.
John check out this girl's face!
It must be her first time out in a
night club she's terrified.
She looks intense! I don't think
we should talk to these girls.
They look crazy!
Bebop and Rocksteady look at each other then walk off,
lurking in the corner for their next opportunity.
Oh thank God you two came, these
two creeps were following us.
Yeah maybe those creeps were
replaced by these new creeps.
Playing hard to get already?
      (eye contact with
All you hot girls are the same.
Ice cold, drink-vulturing brats!
I know right! I can't believe how
boring hot girls are these days.
We aren't boring! What makes you
two so great, what do you do?
      (raises eyebrow)
I asked you first hotshot.
I am working my way to becoming a
fashion designer.


      (gives a silly
Right on Prada girl.
      (looks to Shea)
And what about you?
I am a model for Elite.
      (Not impressed,
Ahahaha you hear that John this
chick is elite! Taking shit from
Heartbreaker! HEEEARTBREAKER!!
Luca and John laugh out loud, Luca leans into John giving
him a fist pound. The girls can't help but laugh.
      (grins at Allie
       then turns to
So John, what is it you do?
I'm a bona fide gold digger too.
Except I roll up on retirement
homes fishing for old trout. They
enjoy my Sinatra karaoke and my no
nonsense loving. I also enjoy
The girls laugh.
No seriously what do you do?
No seriously that is how I make a
living. I also sell large amounts
of cocaine.
A gold digging drug dealer, very
      (faces Luca)
And what about you?
Have you ever seen a flag-twirling
      (moves arms around
       as if he's doing
       a flag twirling


      (about to laugh)
You can't be serious.
I twirl like those flags when I
launch off a wave with my wake
      (eyes dilate)
Oh my God that is so cool, I love
Yeah well if you thinks it's so
cool then you should come watch my
next tourney.
I go from six to midnight watching
him, it's really amazing.
Maybe I will.
      (whispers to Allie)
Let's go to the bathroom.
Hey we have to go to the bathroom.
      (points to John)
Your name is John, if I remember
      (looks at Luca)
and what's yours?
Luca, but you can call me Lucifer
for long.
Allie laughs and gives Luca a big smile before walking off
to the bathroom with Shea.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is standing by himself with a dumbfounded look on his
face, as Monty, Dre, and Will return with 8 shots. Monty
confused, looks for the girls.
What happened? Where are the


      (feeling guilty)
I have no idea what happened, this
guy just came up and
      (moves hands
       around in goofy
robbed us clean!
Robbed us clean? You mean robbed
you clean! We were gone for 2
He said some stuff, they laughed
like crazy, then he proceeded to
verbally undress me.
      (a bit angry)
We leave you here for two minutes!
Did you shit your pants or
As soon as the girls told him I
was an exotic dancer I didn't
stand a chance.
We were so in! Damn it! I had a
feeling this might happen.
      (hands shots to
Here drink up, you earned it.
Mike and the guys all take a shot. Mike drinks the extra
four shots. He then goes to sit down at the bar by himself
and orders a drink. Mike notices a good looking girl next to
Hey can I buy you a drink?
                       ATTRACTIVE GIRL
Yeah sure.
Mike hands her a beer and begins speaking with his head
So you wouldn't believe the night
I am having.
      (Notices she
       walked away and
       sighs before
       slowly speaking)


                       MIKE (cont'd)
You're welcome.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie and Shea are preening in front of the mirror. Shea
reaches into her purse, pulls out a little coke spoon and
does a bump. She offers Allie.
Oh, no thanks.
Allie and Shea walk out of the bathroom, looking for Luca
and John. They turn around to see Bebop and Rocksteady
standing right in front of them.
      (arms crossed)
So girls, when did you find out
there aren't any other guys here
worth your time?
I think you two owe us a dance.
Bebop and Rocksteady get uncomfortably close to Allie and
Shea. Luca and John come off screen to interrupt.
Whoa! Look at you girls, already
onto some new dick!
      (slipping behind
These guys have been following us,
we shouldn't have let them buy us
Who do these kids think they are?
Looks like they trying to take our
John lifts his right index finger into the air for a second,
then places it in his mouth and makes a disgusted look.
Oh my is that a JERSEY accent I
taste? Every time they speak I get
the urge to take a shower.
      (getting upset)
Oh you got a problem with Jersey?


      (smiling; cool)
John and I know the difference
between cool Jersey cats and
complete douche bags.
Yeah and?
      (Very frank)
And you two may be the two biggest
douche bags we have ever seen in
our lives.
The two girls look at each other and laugh behind Luca and
      (very serious look)
Douche bags, eh? What makes you
think we won't ice you right now?
Cause it's hot in this kitchen and
we'd feel bad ruining those fresh
blow out haircuts.
People start circling around.
      (walks right up to
You two are lucky we ain't in
Jersey, cause we'd torture your
punk asses.
      (to Rocksteady)
Come on lets go, these broads are
whores anyways.
Bebop and Rocksteady begin walking away.
      (mocking irish
       accent/ready to
Hey Luca, do you smell the scent
of greasy pussies a driftin in the
Angrily Bebop charges John, swings and misses. Luca
retaliates by pulling Bebop's head into a crushing knee
blow, knocking Bebop down. Then John drives a right handed
haymaker straight into Bebops jaw, knocking him out cold on
the ground. Rocksteady walks up and is frozen in front of
them. Security runs to the scene and the girls intervene.
      (to security)
These two protected us from these
two assholes, who kept following
us around, grabbing me, asking us
for a dance. The one on the ground


                       SHEA (cont'd)
swung first.
      (angrily yelling)
You two are dead men, you hear me!
Security starts to drag Bebop and Rocksteady out.
      (cocky; funny)
Dude must have been tired, he just
laid on the ground and started
You two saved us again, how can we
ever repay you?
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is sitting at the bar as a defeated Bebop and
Rocksteady come sit down next to him. Mike has about 7 beer
bottles in front of him and is very drunk.
      (Very drunk
       muttering to
I love her, but she hates me. What
do I do.
Get her really drunk.
Yeah get her really drunk then
slip a roofie in her drink.
      (blank look)
That's nice.
More time passes and the bartenders give out last calls.
Mike is blacked out drunk at this point with his head
planted on the bar.
                                         CUT TO:
John and Shea are dancing with John doing some really
hilarious and goofy dance moves. Allie and Luca are
passionately dancing, and grinding on the dance floor making
deep eye contact. The two begin kissing.


                                         CUT TO:
Will walks up to a face down Mike from the dance floor.
Are you OK brotha?
Yeah I'm really good you know.
Get some fresh air outside while I
get the guys.
Will helps Mike to his feet before walking away. Mike
stumbles toward the exit.
Mike stumbles outside, muttering to himself. Mike posts up
on the edge of the sidewalk and pulls his phone out to send
Allie a text message. After sending the text, Mike looks up
and sees Rock walking with the four girls he seduced away
earlier. Mike gives Rock a jealous glare.

Mike turns around and looks across the street at people
funneling out of the adjacent nightclub. To his surprise, he
see's Allie walking out looking at her phone with an annoyed
look on her face after seeing his message.

Meanwhile, Rock is leading the girls to a cab. Rock suddenly
has the expression of "Oh I forgot something inside" before
he enters the cab and begins to walk back towards Mike.

Mike has the urge to walk over to Allie, but before he
takes a step, he sees Luca walk out behind her, he puts his
arms around Allie and they kiss. The sight of the two
together makes Mike so angry he snaps into a furious rage.
      (Grinning; mocking)
Hey, you should come dance for the
guys in the locker room, teach
them how to twerk like a
Mike turns around with the angriest look on his face. He
drunkenly and incoherently bull rushes Rock.
Right before Mike is about to tackle Rock;Rock quickly steps
aside as Mike "Ole's" past him.

With all of his momentum, Mike goes flying and smashes his
head face first into a brick wall behind Rock.

The impact of Mike's head actually breaks some bricks and he


is immediately knocked out. No one had a clear view of what
happened, but a crowd quickly forms around the incident.

OFFICER CRABTREE(36) An eccentric African/American police
officer, with a Dallas Bandits trinket hanging from his
rearview mirror, turns his cruiser's lights on and races as
fast as he can across the street, almost hitting a couple of
bystanders. Officer Crabtree is drunk on duty, bitter he
lost a good deal of money gambling on the game, and being a
Dallas Bandits fan was looking for any opportunity to arrest
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (grabs Rock)
You are under arrest nigga! Under
arrest god damnit!
This is absurd! I have done
nothing officer! This man threw
himself at me!
Kate, Sarah, Lindsay, and Charlene come back to see what is
      (to the girls)
You all saw what happened, didn't
Umm well we didn't see but-
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Funny angry humor)
Get your filthy pigeons away from
The girls walk away dejected.
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Staring the girls
       down as they walk
That's right bitches, walk away!
These are my streets! I am the
Rock pulls away from officer Crabtree's attempt to grab his
arms, resisting. Officer Crabtree dramatically falls
backwards onto the ground like a soccer player flopping for
a foul. People all collectively gasp around them.
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
Oh no you didn't!
Officer Crabtree immediatley pulls out his pepper spray and
begins spraying it all over Rock's face.


      (furious and in a
       lot of pain)
You are making a big mistake
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
You made the mistake of assault in
the first degree son! Do you know
what that gets you?
      (beat; toned down
       and serious)
That gets you a date with big
Charley down at the pen... No
lubricants. No mercy.
      (even calmer and
       more seirous)
That nigga will assault you in
ways that would make a priest cry!
      (Gets loud again)
You should have never fucked with
me nigga!
Officer Crabtree then pulls out his taser and begins to
shock Rock unconscious before handcuffing him and getting
other cops arriving on the scene to help him put Rock into
the back of a police cruiser.
Monty, Dre, and Will walk outside and run to Mike's aid.
They gently shake him back to semi-consciousness. Officer
Crabtree walks over To Mike.
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Softly and nicely)
Were you assaulted son, did this
man unleash his fury on you?
      (drunk, dazed and
       Lifts his head,
       looks at Rock)
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (With a gleefull
Your ass is mine now nigga! Victim
consent to put you in a
smorgasbord of booty rape!
      (drags Rock toward
       the cruiser)
Officer Crabtree raises his arms in the air and cackles
aloud. A first person view from Mike's perspective with
Monty, Dre, and Will above him trying to get him up. Mike
then blacks out again which phases into a dream.
                                         DISSOLVE TO:


Mike dreams hazy memories of the progression of Mike and
Allie's relationship. The first memory of them together was
sitting next to each other and chatting on an airplane,
their expressions should show laughing and dilated eyes.

The next faded memory shows them having a romantic dinner
together, while walking out to the car, Mike opens Allie's
door like a gentleman, when they sit inside the car a man in
a gorilla suit jumps on their hood then runs off. The two
give each other a weird funny look as if "did that just

The next memory is of the two playing NCAA football video
game. Allie throws a Hail Mary pass into the end-zone as
time expires causing her to jump and celebrate gleefully in
the air, Mike tackles her and they begin making out.

The next short memory shows the two on a hotel balcony
overlooking a beach, very romantic setting. You can read her
lips saying "I'm in love with you". Mike runs up, picks her
up, kissing her passionately and throws her on the bed
before mouthing "I love you too".

The next memory shows Mike and Allie, dressed up in formal
attire for a very nice party in downtown DC. The two are
with Mike's friends Dre, Monty, and Will, they are all
dancing having a great time partying

The next memory is Mike at Allie's front door with roses
and a gift on valentines day. Allie has a half-excited look
on her face, and forces a smile as they hug.

The next scene is in a almost pitch dark bedroom, with a
naked Mike sitting on the back of a naked Allie giving her a
back massage. Allie turns her head around and says with a
weird look.
Your balls are like, sweating
profusely all over my back.
      (slowly gets off)
Oh my bad. My bad.
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
Inside of Mike's room, the bathroom door is wide open, light
on, with Mike passed out underneath the toilet. He slowly
comes to consciousness, being awoken by his phone going off.
Mike groans very loudly.
Mike stumbles over to his bed, and picks his ringing phone
off of the nightstand.
Mike quickly opens and closes his phone, then throws it
across the room. He rolls around in bed, writhing in agony
from a the incident the night before and hangover.


      (groaning loudly)
Mike walks back to his phone to see 36 missed calls from a
random number.
Who keeps calling me?
Mike puts the phone in his pocket, walks to the kitchen and
turns on the TV to ESPN's Sports center. While opening the
fridge and grabbing a jug of water ESPN's anchors can be
heard giving headlines.
                       ESPN ANCHOR 2
Breaking news out of our nations
capital as Rock Johnson was
arrested last night on a charge of
assault. According to the police
report he attacked an innocent
bystander outside of a night club
in downtown Washington DC.
The TV has a picture of Rock, but Mike isn't paying
attention, he is completely oblivious to the situation.
                       ESPN ANCHOR 1
This comes at a terrible time for
Rock and the Washington Warriors
after their thrilling season
opening victory over their rival
the Dallas Bandits. The NFL will
not take this charge lightly and
he is very likely to be suspended
for a significant amount of time.
Mike swigs some water, and swishes it around. Monty wakes up
and sits up on the couch.
So what happened last night?
You got our hero locked up last
night you fuck!
Mike's phone starts ringing again. He answers it.
      (on phone)
There he is! The man of the hour!
The man of my dreams! Wake up you
son of a bitch!
Who is this?


Lets cut the shit! I need you to
go to the police station and tell
them the truth.
What truth? What the hell is this
all about?
      (jumps up off the
       couch and tries
       to grab the phone
       from Mike)
Is that Rock! ROCK I LOVE YOU! My
friend is a loser piece of shit he
didn't mean what happened!
Mike pushes Monty away and scurries into his bedroom and
locks the door behind him. Monty continues singing Rock's
praises and bangs on Mike's bedroom door.
Your dumb ass jumped after me and
busted your head into the wall. I
got arrested for doing nothing.
What are you talking about? Why
would I jump after you? I've never
even been in a fight before. Why
would I attack a professional
football player? You know what I
think? I think-
This is my goddamn last season
before retiring! Your candy ass
bandit fan havin bullshit thinks
you can get away with this
You know what? Screw you, I don't
give a shit about football or your
career. Goodbye.
Mike hangs up the phone, and Monty is still banging on his
Don't do this Mike! DON'T RUIN OUR
Mike sits down on his bed with his head slumped in his head.
Still in agony from the previous night. Mike's phone rings
      (answers his phone)


      (trying to be calm)
Alright look kid, I'm sorry for
yelling at you before. Obviously
my final season means a lot to me.
What can I do to get you to drop
this charge? I need to be on that
field with my brothers.
I don't know what I want, I hate
my life right now.
How about 50 large? You can get
yourself some decent clothes, some
dance lessons, some nice booze to
sip on.
      (pauses and thinks
       before answering)
I just want my girl back... I
don't want any money, I've got
like 100 bitcoins.
What the fuck is a Bitcoin? You
can take that 50 grand and buy
yourself all sorts of girls, you
can get whores out the ass, midget
whores whatever the hell you're
into. Shit I'll even throw in one
of those fancy Japanese fuck
I don't want a fuck robot. I wan't
my girl back. Besides if you gave
me money you would probably get
caught for it and into more
So you want your girl back. That's
all? What do you want me to do
about it?
      (barely sobbing)
Just help me out. I need help.
Help me, help you.
What you want to be my agent now?
You Jerry McGuire havin pile of
shit! Tell me how I can help you?!
I don't know Rock... I don't know.


Are you crying? Jesus almighty you
are a train wreck kid...
      (Pauses for a beat
       before feeling
       some empathy)
Alright I'll help you out. Meet me
at the Elite Sportsplex in Ashburn
at 3 O'clock, we have to figure
this out.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike slowly walks up to Rock in the parking lot.
      (points at Mike)
Oh there he is! The asshole who
got me arrested!
      (looks offscreen
       away from Mike)
Boys get him!
Mike's nerves tense up as he jumps a little, swiveling his
head, scanning for any blindside attacks.
Ah I'm just fuckin with ya!
Look at you, poor bastard. Turning
down money for a girl that
probably doesn't even like you.
Love doesn't carry a dollar
      (serious tone)
You realize you're blackmailing
Technically I'm asking you for
      (calm; places arm
       on Mike's
You don't understand, I must break


                       ROCK (cont'd)
you for us to move on.
Break me?
If I'm going to help you I want
you to be completely honest about
everything we talk about. Can you
do that for me?
Because only honesty will purge
this... Pathetic thing you call an
                                         CUT TO:
Mike has a face full of tears, and snot is hanging from his
nose. He is sitting on the edge of the track. While crying
and sniffling he manages to mumble out.
      (pat's Mike's back)
I popped your emotional cherry,
get used to it. You're soft as
baby shit and must be broken
before you can learn anything.
      (makes a sad groan)
Chin up boy!
                                         CUT TO:
Are you ready now?
I feel nothing.
      (patting Mike on
       the back)
Deep breaths, there you go, you
big dreamer you. Come on now get
up, lets take a little jog.


Rock grabs Mike's arm and pulls him up to start walking
toward an outdoor track nearby.
There you go kiddo.
Rock and Mike make it to the track and begin jogging.
If I were to tell you that I think
you are a pussy-whipped bitch, how
would you respond?
I would say. You're probably
On the track running is TUNA(26) he is an extremely obese
man. He is completely covered in sweat, his eyes are closed
and head is down, he makes really loud grunting sounds and
flails his arms up and down in very awkward fashion. Both
Mike and Rock glance at him shortly and continue their
That is exactly the weak mentality
you have to drop.
I don't get it. We were so in
love. How can women change their
mind and stick with it like it's
nothing. Like nothing ever
You don't understand women at all
do you? That statement you just
made sounds like the opposite of
what a woman would do. Which leads
me to believe that you in fact may
be a woman.
You probably have never been in a
situation like this so you
wouldn't understand.
Lets run a few laps, and tell me
more about this great love you
speak of.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike and Rock are walking on the track side by side. Rock is
laughing at Mike's pathetic love story. Rock is laughing and
wiping tears from his eyes.


You are so perfectly pathetic! Oh
god this is great. So let me get
this straight.
      (looks Mike in the
After seducing her with the movie
Transformers, you prematurely
ejaculated after 2 minutes of sex?
Give or take a few seconds.
You laughed out loud with her for
10 minutes after she cracked a
joke on how it was the best sex of
her life.
Well I mean the timing was great.
You try and play a video game for
a living? You have no money and
you spend all your time playing
video games?
Bitcoins will be the future of all
money and If I win the biggest
Dota tournament I could win a
million dollars.
You just don't get it, you don't
get it at all. Wow I don't even
know where to begin.
Tuna runs by them again panting very loudly.
Drop the idea of this Allie for a
second, and try and think really
hard of what your ideal girl is,
what is she like.
Mike thinks deeply. The two continue slowly walking then
come to a stop.
Allie. She's honestly perfect.
I'm going to need you to unplug
your penis from your asshole for
just a minute. Imagine if Allie
never existed, who would you
ideally want to fuck.
It's not just about fucking, it's
about a connection. But to answer
your question, she would be


                       MIKE (cont'd)
beautiful of course, soft light
brown hair. She would have to be
funny, and good at vibing with
people. She would be really smart
too, and play video games with me.
Rock gives Mike a dumb look.
You want a unicorn, you want a
woman that doesn't exist and even
if she did she wouldn't stay with
you for more than a week.
That's why I want Allie back. She
was the closest thing to a unicorn
I could find.
Unbelievable, give it up, this
girl is long gone.
Deep down I just know we will end
up together again. I feel it deep
down in my heart.
So you really think you're in love
with this girl?
      (Truly believes)
Yes. I really want to-
Shut your mouth! I don't need any
more extra curricular shit
confusing me.
Rock thinks quietly for a few seconds.
What you need to do is go out,
meet a good six or seven new women
over the next few months and sleep
with all of them. If you still
think of this Allie after that,
then you truly do love her and
aren't some pussy-whipped bitch
like I think you are.
I can't do that.
Or I can still buy you that sex
robot. You got to work with me
here, I really need to play this


Ok, so I sleep with a bunch of
women, how am I supposed to do
I hate to say it, but you have
Thanks, I appreciat-
Shut your mouth you punk ass
child. Now listen to me, that
potential is no better than..
      (points to Tuna
The mummy over here making the cut
for the triathlon. So you better
be prepared to work.
Tuna runs by them again, arms flailing and all.
Physically you need to reshape
your body by running and lifting
weights a minimum of five days a
week, add some muscle on them
cheeks boy!
      (Rock slaps Mike's
Never dance again. Your filthy
feet have got no rhythm.
Seriously, unless you get
professional lessons, just don't
do it. If you have no choice keep
it to basic mirroring motions,
nothing more.
Fair enough.
Mentally you have to visualize
yourself as being the top dog.
NEVER qualify or justify why you
did or didn't do anything, it
makes you look like a chump.
But I only acted that way because
I was-
Rock gives Mike an angry glare.
Ok Ok! No justifying! Got it.


      (gets excited)
God damn it Mike, I will teach you
what it is to be a real man. By
the time I am through with you,
this Allie will be nothing more
than crusty bed sheets from a
weird wet dream.
Mike's eyes light up, he believes.
      (points to the
Its now time to run you boy! Oh
boy were running!
                                         CUT TO:
Rock walks up and smiles at Mike. Rock begins a tenacious
workout with Mike. Pump up music is played.

Mike is running on a football field, then suddenly Rock goes
flying by him with a parachute attached to his back.

Rock is doing agility drills with Mike and Tuna, Rock uses a
tennis ball while doing a T drill. Rock and Tuna collide
into each other, with Tuna falling on top of him.

They transition into quickness drills, hopping left and
right, Rock repeatedly bounces a tennis ball under Mike's
feet causing him to high step and hop around. Rock then
begins hopping around Mike, out "quicking" him, he keeps
repeating "I'm a quickie quick you" while circling Mike.
Mike, trying to keep up the intensity of the workout is
sweating profusely. Eventually he grunts out "NOOOOO", he
cowers down and starts vomiting. Tuna is in the background
gyrating a hula-hoop, which turns into a humping motion.

The song dies out, Mike and Tuna are slowly limping towards
the exit with Rock trailing them. Rock runs up to Tuna,
gives him a high-five and shoulder bump.
WOO! That's how you sweat baby!
You best be out tomorrow, don't
you give up on me big tuna fish!
I haven't puked like that. since
this morning.
Feels good doesn't it.
      (breathing heavy)
Should have... taken the money...


Mike and Rock are slowly walking to the parking lot.
      (patting Mike on
       the back)
Before we go out tonight you need
new clothes. Go to the mall and
wait for my friend Clarence. Then
call me when you're done.
How will I know who to look for?
You will know when you see him,
trust me.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is waiting outside of a department store anxiously
looking at his watch.
Where is this guy?
The camera focuses on CLARENCE WEDDLE(Mid forties). Clarence
is a highly fashionable, flamboyant, and hilarious, gay man.
Like Tang he is a renowned fashion designer, and he has a
little chihuahua in a handbag. Clarence approaches Mike with
a very feminine walk.
      (Bright smile, and
Hey beautiful!
Hey. Clarence right?
      (gives a very
Pleased to meet you Mike. Rock
told me about your situation, and
I think it is so adorable. I would
LOVE to help you out!
Thank you, I really appreciate it.
      (scans his face
       and body)
Look at your features! So cute! Oh
my this will be easy. You are
going to look F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!
                                         DISSOLVE TO:


Clarence and Mike are inside the department stores dressing
room. First Clarence dresses him in a flamboyantly gay
looking outfit. Mike walks like a fashion model in front of
Clarence who begins to laugh out loud, jumping up and down.
Mike gives a terrified look, and walks back to the dressing
room. Clarence has him try on a preppy look, he gives a
dissatisfied look and Mike walks back to try on another

Next Mike comes out in a ghetto outfit, real baggy with a
skull cap. Clarence shakes his head in dissatisfaction.

The fourth outfit is Mike dressed in only a thong and a long
pearly necklace. Clarence gives a perverted look, and puts
his pinkie to his lip as Mike walks back into the dressing

The fifth and final outfit will be the perfect combination
of style and class. Clarence is satisfied with the look and
Mike gives a gleeful smile as the process has finally ended.
                                         CUT TO:
Beautiful twilight colors grace the sky in downtown
Arlington as Mike is walking toward Rock. Rock is sitting
down at a cocktail table outside of a nice restaurant. Rock
is wearing sunglasses and a hoodie, disguising himself from
attracting attention. Rock scans Mike's new clothes up and
down. Multiple Beautiful women are consistently walking by
      (admiring the new
You don't look like a hobo
anymore, congratulations.
      (shakes Mike's
Two extremely attractive women are waiting for the light to
change to walk across the street in the path of Rock and
      (nods head towards
       the women)
The beauty of a woman can paralyze
even the most charming of men.
Mike I want you to get their
attention before they walk past
The light changes and the women start to walk across the


This is ridiculous! What do I even
say? Don't put me on the spot like
The two girls walk closer laughing and talking to one
another. Mike becomes extremely nervous and insecure. Mike
is petrified as they come closer, so Rock takes off his
glasses and stares daggers into Mike's eyes forcing him to
do something.

As the two women approach, Mike starts to reach out and
attempt to tap one of their shoulders. His high chair tips
over and as he falls over, grabs onto the top of her bra.
accidentally pulling her bra down exposing her breast while
falling hard onto the ground.
Tense Beat as the girl composes herself.
                       ATTRACTIVE GIRL
      (terrified look)
What the fuck, you pervert
      (With a face of
Oh my God I am so so-
The girl slaps Mike and storms off with her friend.
      (laughing and
       clapping aloud)
Bravo, Bravo! That was smooth,
real smooth. I was going to
suggest saying hi, something
simple, something charming, but
you went ahead and pulled a titty
      (heart racing;
       smiling; relieved)
That was bad wasn't it? That was
pretty bad.
Bad yes, but great for taser and
mace sales.
Why did you put me on the spot
like that?
You have no confidence, you build
it by doing things that make you
feel uncomfortable. Just leave the
titties alone until you get her in
bed you sex freak.
                                         CUT TO:


Mike and Rock are now sitting inside of a local bar, a
waiter walks up and drops off a couple of drinks.
I haven't known you very long, but
as far as I can tell, you are as
sensitive as a clitoris.
I'm not that bad. I'm not that
wound up.
You're as wound up as Jerry
Sandusky at a Chucky Cheese.
Oh come on, what am I supposed to
do? Not feel anything?
It's called being a man. There is
only one time you can act
vulnerable and weak around women.
When is that?
In your coffin when you're fucking
How do you see it with women? Help
me understand what you know. You
are stone cold.
Rock thinks for a moment.
I'm not stone cold son, I'm hot
You're something else, I've never
met anyone like you, please tell
me what you know.
My father taught me a valuable
lesson on women some time ago, so
pay attention.
                                         FADE TO:


The setting of a hypothetical night club with people walking
around in slow motion. Attractive girls are everywhere. The
song "Feels" by Calvin Harris ft. Pharrell plays.
                       ROCK (vo)
Imagine you are a fisherman out in
the open sea.
                       MIKE (vo)
                       ROCK (vo)
As a man, you hold the hook.
                       MIKE (vo)
                       ROCK (vo)
Right now your hook is dull,
rusty, crusty, and stained with
squid guts. Your attraction skills
are trash.
Mike appears in a hypothetical night club, he has a sheepish
grin on his face and is dressed terribly, a couple
attractive girls walk by him checking him out and turn their
noses up.
                       ROCK (vo)
The sea is full of fish to catch,
from beautiful blue marlin
darlins, to nasty little grouper
                       MIKE (vo)
Allie is a sexy dolphin.
                       ROCK (vo)
The bait you see... Clarence
helped you with the bait. The
appearance of looking like you
have your shit together. Working
out and toning your body is also
                       MIKE (vo)
Mike's clothes instantly change to being the great outfit
Clarence picked for him.
                       ROCK (vo)
So you cast yourself out into the
sea, and the fish come to play.
When a fish nibbles a little and
decides to bite, it's on.
The same two girls walk by Mike but this time they give a
different look, a look of interest, and one of the girls
smiles and winks at him as she walks by.


                       MIKE (vo)
What's on?
                       ROCK (vo)
The chase, the struggle, the part
where you reel her in. Now this is
the most important part, so pay
                       MIKE (vo)
I'm listening.
                       ROCK (vo)
While she is on your hook she is
observing, testing, and fighting
against it. The tension on the
line is the key to reeling her in.
The tension of your line.
Mike approaches the attractive girl who winked at him and is
engaging her.
                       MIKE (vo)
Tension of the line?
                       ROCK (vo)
If you reel too fast, she will
fight it and the line will break.
Mike is seen staring at the girls breasts as she is talking
to him, she notices, gives a concerned look. Mike looks up,
makes horny/creepy eye contact with the girl as if he just
got out of a ten year prison sentence, then mouth's the
words "Let's fuck" to her, she slaps him and storms off.
                       ROCK (vo)
Too slow, she becomes bored, and
will slip off the hook.
The girl re-appears in front of Mike, this time he is slowly
talking, he appears very nervous and stiff. The girl looks
entirely bored looking around, she spots a friend, shakes
Mike's hand and walks off.
                       MIKE (vo)
Right right, like acting too
desperate, or being too aloof.
                       ROCK (vo)
If you maintain genuine tension
over a period of time the fish
will give in.
The girl re-appears again, but this time Mike is engaging
her, making her laugh, it seems like the girl is having the
time of her life. After the girl laughs really hard, Mike
smoothly looks at his watch, as if he has somewhere to go.
He pulls his phone out to get the girls number to which she
gladly enters her number.
                                         DISSOLVE TO:


It took three months of reeling
before Allie gave in. How am I
supposed to get all these girls in
three months? How can you be the
least bit genuine sleeping with
that many women so fast?
It took three months because you
lack understanding of tension.
I don't like the idea of being so
sexual with a girl I just met.
The waitress walks up to their table unsure if she should
interrupt and ask for their order.
Please, go ahead and deny to my
face that you didn't want to take
that girl by the hips and
      (vibrates his
       pelvis in a
       jackhammer sex
jackhammer the living bejesus out
of her as soon as you saw her.
The waitress scurries away.
Yeah maybe... But-
So you can do it your way which
takes three months, or you can do
it my way which takes three hours.
So what do I do when I catch the
You either release it back into
the sea like a good sport, only
after taking a few good pictures
of course.
      (big grin)
or you keep it in a fish tank and
take care of it.
Fish tank... So you buy a house to
live happily ever after in?
      (fast paced rant)
No, you see, the fish tank is your
mental capacity to deal with the
woman. You see, some guys like you


                       ROCK (cont'd)
are lucky and manage to stuff a
big fish into their tiny fish bowl
of a brain. When the big fish
realizes it feels trapped in a
shitty little bowl it starts to
squirm out.
Then what?
      (fast paced rant)
The frustrated fisherman starts
pandering to the fish's needs,
feeding it to make it happy, but
it keeps growing and growing and
shitting all over the place. Right
about when the pathetic fisherman
decides he loves the fish so much
he wants to eat the fish, and I
mean EAT FISH all day.
      (Rock makes a
       vagina licking
       gesture with his
The sucker will panic and break
the bowl into pieces, flopping
violently around in the boat
fucking everything up, eventually
making it back out to sea,
sometimes taking your first mate
with her.
Beat. Mike understands the metaphor.
She broke my fishbowl.
You even grabbed onto her slimy
tail as she frantically flopped
off the boat, and you were nearly
dragged down into the abyss.
What happens in the abyss?
Your head gets so full of pressure
that it explodes, you kill
Whoa this metaphor is deep as
fuck... So what about the girls
you stole from me the other night?
Guppies, anchovies, dime a dozen.


What about a big fish, how long
does it take for you to reel in a
big fish?
Most of them want to be caught, if
your line is strong enough, and
the tension is right, you can yank
a big fish in a single pull.
So if I want to catch Allie again?
Polish that hook! Cast the best
bait in the right spots. Become a
fisher of women. A master angler
with an aquarium of a mind!
Mike stands up in excitement.
                                         CUT TO:
Dance music plays as Rock and Mike are seen approaching
every set of girls in the bar. Rock is taking a backseat,
mentoring approach listening in on Mike. After three failed
attempts in quick succession, Rock pulls Mike aside.
Have you listened to a single word
I've been saying?
Well yeah it's jus-
Stop being a creep and give them
that swagger they are dying for.
I am getting shot down left and
right here! How do I give them the
      (shaking Mike)
Relax! Get out of your head! Hold
the line damn you! Hold the line!
This isn't a football game or war.
This is me being scared of
approaching women, it's completely


It's not different and I'll tell
you why. I am only going to tell
you this once so listen carefully.
Life is one big series of
different games, and each game we
play is a competition. Whether it
be a football game, a date with a
beautiful woman, or even whatever
stupid computer game you play. You
may not realize it, but you either
win or lose at all of life's
games. When you lose your computer
game do you feel good about it?
Does talking to these women with a
lame attitude and getting shut
down feel good?
No, it feels pretty bad actually.
When I lost Super Bowl LV I felt
so shitty, I was depressed for
months, I wanted to hang it up
right then and there. But you know
what I realized that when I do win
that big one, I will be fulfilled,
I will be complete. The harder the
game, the more fulfilled you will
be, the more your self confidence
will be built. You can go through
life with a mopey weak mindset and
you're gonna lose at everything,
and you're going to be a sad sack
of shit. You grab life by the
balls goddamnit! You play to WIN
this motherfucking game! You take
the good with the bad and the bad
with the good, but if you aren't
giving your best effort in these
games life gives you, I
guaran-goddamn-tee you will regret
it. Find that inner lion and
become the beast you are supposed
to be!
Rock notices Jamie Johnson, the girl whose family was one of
Mike's tables the day he was fired from Buffalo Wing Palace.
She keeps looking at Mike.
Beyonce' is checking you out at 3
o'clock, and she wants a mother
fucking soldier! She needs a man
to stand up for her, and only
carries big things if you know
what I mean!
Rock pushes Mike toward Jamie and Mike approaches with much
better body language, he is inspired by what Rock just told
him. The song "Redbone" by Childish Gambino plays.


      (cocky; funny)
Are you this forward with every
guy at the bar?
I didn't mean to stare, I just
thought I recognized you.
      (recognizes her
       and blushes)
Oh my God! You were at that table!
I felt so embarrassed! I thought
your mom was gonna knock me the
fuck out!
You had me laughing so hard to
myself. I thought... What has this
white boy just said!
      (laughing, teasing)
Sometimes being indirectly racist
is a good thing I guess? I wasn't
even trying to play games with
Playing games with a random girl
you have never met? Now why would
you want to go and do that?
      (looks directly
       into Jamie's eyes)
Because it's the right thing to
do. God forbid I meet a beautiful
girl such as yourself.
Thank you.
      (whispers into
       Mike's ear)
That's more like it.
Whose the cool guy wearing
sunglasses at night? Is he jealous
we're talking? Why do I feel like
I recognize him too?
He's a nobody really, he hangs
around me because I help him get
outside, he's a big video game


Jamie laughs. and Rock gives Mike a funny look and grins.
      (smiling at Jamie)
You got a certain something about
you that I like.
How is that? You just met me?
Because you're always laughing at
what I say, making me feel good
about myself.
Dance floor now.
      (notices Jamie's
       nails were just
       done and grabs
       her hand)
So miss "just got her nails did",
I can't take a girl seriously
unless she's a halfway decent
Halfway decent?
Jamie grabs Mike's hand and starts to drag him to the dance
floor. Mike looks at Jamie's curvy backside then looks back
at Rock with a sheepish look. The two walk to the middle of
the dance floor, Mike is doing a lot better dancing with
Rock's basic advice of mirroring.

Mike and Jamie are having a great time dancing together.
Rock is entertaining all of Jamie's friends, telling a
story, making them all laugh.

Time fast forwards as the two are talking, and getting more
intimate. By the end of the night, the two are kissing,
taking multiple shots together, and start to walk out of the
bar together. Rock winks at Mike as he is walking out and
does a hand expression that says "Call me".
                                         CUT TO:
A blurry montage ensues where Mike is in Jamie's bedroom. It
is unclear as to what exactly is going on because the two
are drunk. The scene fades to darkness as Mike falls asleep
in Jamie's bed.
                                         DISSOLVE TO:


Mike enters into another dream of past memory with Allie.
The setting is in Mike's bedroom. Mike and Allie can be seen
with argumentative faces. Mike has a very emotional
Don't give me, "I don't know". You
do know!
I don't know.
I have been scared from day one
that you were gonna do this to me.
I loved you, and trusted you.
      (getting emotional)
Yeah and?!
And there's nothing I could do
about it, I am at your mercy day
in and day out.
I am not that merciless.
The two share a serious stare for a moment.
I have told you for the last time
to put the god damn toilet seat up
and you never fucking do it!
Oh! Really Mike! Is that what this
is all about! Don't duck and run,
come at me, what do you got?!
You manipulate me like Satan
possessing Pinocchio.
Beat as Allie thinks of a response.
Yeah well when Pinocchio lies his
nose gets bigger.
      (grabs Mike's
not his penis.
First you tell me don't duck and
run, now all you want is to fuck
and cum?


      (takes hand off
       Mike's crotch)
      (begins to walk
Don't you walk away from me,
Allie! I'm not finished!
      (turns around)
Not finished? Oh right that only
takes two minutes. I guess I have
      (Looks at his bed)
You are so OCD about cleaning,
it's like!
      (messes up his
       made bed, grabs a
       pillow and throws
Fuck! The pillows aren't going to
run away!
      (begins remaking
       the bed, very
You are a terrible bedmaker and
you always have been!
You Febreeze the bathroom so much,
I go through life missing the
scent of my own shit.
Yeah well you know what else
you're going to miss? The smell of
my Febreeze apple cinnamon shit.
Get a fucking job, asshole!
      (begins storming
I never want to be some corporate
crony stuck at a glass ceiling.
You 4.0 students wouldn't
      (is furious)
Yeah what I don't understand is
why I have wasted so much time
dating a loser.
      (walks offscreen)


      (on the verge of
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
Mike wakes up next to Jamie. Quietly gets up and somehow
stumbles his way down the hall into the bathroom. He unzips
his pants and begins to urinate with his head on the wall,
he can hear people rustling about downstairs.

Mike is so dehydrated while peeing he gets a woozy look on
his face. He sways back and forth while mumbling
incoherently to himself.

Before Mike can finish urinating, he faints. Mike collapses
and violently falls into the bathtub.

While falling down, Mike's head smashes off the soap
holder. Mike is knocked out, pants down, lying in the tub
with blood trickling from his head.
Jamie's 5 year old sister bursts into the bathroom first, to
see Mike with his pants down, bloodied forehead, lying in
the tub and starts screaming. Jamie's mother Wanita bursts
into the bathroom.
      (With wide eyes)
                       JAMIE'S SISTER
      (Staring at Mike's
Mommy what is that! It looks
      (makes a funny
       scrunched up face
       of fear)
Jamie bursts into the bathroom.
      (covers her
       daughters eyes)
Baby, mommy wants you to go to
your room.
      (disciplinary look)
I think Jamie has some explaining
to do.
      (With a look of
Oh wow.
Mike regains consciousness, looks up with a dazed look on
his face and says


I think we should be just friends,
like you a lot but I don't know
where this is going.
Mike passes out of consciousness.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie and Luca are in Allie's bedroom. The two are upstairs
sitting down on the edge of her bed. Luca only has boxers
on, while Allie is in her bra and panties. They are both
putting clothing on, one piece at a time.

The two are in mid-conversation. Allie's has an inquisitive
expression. Luca, shows a bit of an arrogant attitude.
So you're telling me you own the
Not officially, but when my great
grand-mother, my grandpa, and then
my dad all die. I will be the man.
Wow so you're basically like a
billionaire in 40 years.
Something like that.
That is so awesome, I love the
Portland Platypuses.
      (cheers with her
       right arm)
Goooo Pussies!
You should love them. They always
win, something that is contagious
around me.
Allie is a little turned off by Luca's arrogance and quickly
changes the subject.
Question. So I was wondering. How
many girls have you slept with?
      (not taking
All of them, except for the ones
that blew a rape whistle, those
ones got away.


Seriously, how many.
Seriously, how many stars are in
the sky?
      (gives a weird
You are a man whore aren't you.
Shut your mouth OK?! Don't ask me
questions that are intentionally
aimed at setting me up for some
bullshit argument.
      (puts head down, a
       bit shaken)
OK sorry.
                                         CUT TO:
Allie is sitting at her desk working on something. Tang
walks into her office without knocking startling her. She
grabs some papers and stacks them together.
This is everything you need, all
neat and organized.
Allie hands the papers to Tang. Tang curiously inspects for
any mistakes. He thinks he finds something wrong, then
quickly catches himself while thumbing through the stack.
You are good Allie, very good!
It's a pleasure doing work for
You have done such good work, you
probably think you deserve a
Oh no sir, I am happy the way
things are, I wouldn't expect
Tang walks around behind Allie.
Well you do, and I have decided to
invite you to come along with me
to Clarence's big party.


Allie becomes overwhelmed with excitement.
Clarence Weddle?! Are you
serious!? Thank you so much, I
would love to go!
You deserve it. You sexy young
So I was wondering and I hope you
don't mind me asking... But are
you and Clarence dating?
Tang walks to the exit and turns back around to Allie.
I wouldn't exactly call it dating.
Clarence is the reason Tang has
disobedient eyeball!
                                         CUT TO:
Mike wakes up from being knocked out on Jamie's bed.
      (Shaking Mike)
Wake up!
      (grabs head)
Where am I? What happened? I'm
gonna get CTE if I keep doing
You fell into my bathtub while
peeing, and your head broke off my
soap holder.
      (rubs temples in
I peed on you and we had sex in
the bathtub?
Jamie laughs out loud to herself.
Not quite... You had a lot to
drink last night. You don't even
remember what happened last night
do you?
      (has a dumb look
       on face)


                                         CUT TO:
Mike can be seen walking toward Rock slowly. After a few
seconds he is within talking distance. When Mike reaches
Rock, they begin walking toward the track. Like a coach,
Rock points to the track, and Mike gives a frustrated look.
Look, I am not here to baby your
ass and let you feel good about
yourself. Get running!
Mike and Rock begin jogging together on the track.
Tell me what happened with that
girl Jamie. I want a full progress
The two can be seen running around the track with Tuna
trailing a few paces behind them.
Everything was going good. We were
hooking up and then the time came
and I couldn't get it up. I drank
too much.
It was because she was black
wasn't it?! You limp dicked racist
No-no I'm not racist! Look I was
close to the abyss. Almost having
drunken limp-dick sex is a step in
the right direction for me.
An L is an L no matter how you
look at it. I've seen countless
men waste their life's potential
drinking too much, don't fall into
that trap.
Mike stops to think for a few second before responding.
This change you're expecting takes
time, I can't just change like
that. I've got issues.
You can change, you have to
change. Like I said last night,
you either take these games in
life seriously or you lose.


It's not that easy Rock, I'm
trying I just don't have that
inner fire, or passion, whatever
it is you have I don't have that.
You do have it. I've seen it time
and time again with you entitled
millennial pussies. You kids are
such a soft, passive, weaker
generation. You are the overly
mothered generation. You were all
brought up in a bubble of
participant ribbons and everybody
is an equal winner horseshit. The
reality of life isn't what you've
been taught.
I am from the softest generation
ever, I'm an alcoholic and a
loser. Anything else?
You have many other flaws but that
sums up the major ones as far as I
can tell. But HEY! Now you know
what you can do to CHANGE, if
those are your biggest weaknesses
then what should you do?
Mike hits a moment of clarity.
I should stop drinking, get
tougher, and give greater effort
in all things so I can win more?
Wow it really is that easy, see
now you know what you have to
conquer, if you focus on those
three things I promise you will
change big time.
Both stand in silence for a short pause.
Alright... Rock you're off the
hook. Thank you for helping me. I
have never had anyone help me here
the way you have. I will get the
charges dropped. I only have one
request, that you get my roommates
tickets to the home games, they
love you.
That is a deal, I'll hook your
boys up, just make sure you call
the 5-0 and clear me.


I think I'm ready for this new me.
We met under some weird
circumstances kid, but I am happy
to help, I feel for you I really
do. I want to see you improve and
get better. If you really listen
to what I have told you, you wont
be the one begging to get your
girl back, she will be the one
begging for you.
I hope so.
Hoping and wishing won't get you
jack shit in life, go make it
I'm going to make it happen.
                                         CUT TO:
Montage scene spanning 2 months and 2 weeks... Quick cuts
alternating between scenes of Mike seducing 4 different
women, Allie watching Luca at a wakeboard tourney and after
party, Rock playing football, and Mike playing some Dota.

Music- Upbeat Rock
Mike approaches a pretty blonde Brazilian girl sitting
outside of a book store reading a book. He comments on the
book she is reading and begins a conversation with her. Mike
sits down next to her, gives her a big smile and she smiles
                                         QUICK CUT
**Rock is back on the football field, in a defensive huddle.
He and the defense get set in position. The ball is snapped
and Rock makes a tackle on an outside running play. Monty,
Dre, and Will can be seen cheering from the front row all
wearing Rock jerseys.

**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
making big plays in the game and winning.
                                         QUICK CUT


Mike sees an attractive purple haired Asian girl is sitting
at a bus stop. Mike walks up and sits down next to her
striking up conversation with her, making her laugh.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike is stretching on the track. Before running he notices a
very cute and innocent looking girl with light brown hair
jog past him. Mike jogs up next to her, gets her attention,
and begins a conversation.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike is sitting at a cocktail table and notices a stunning
dark haired Persian girl with seductive eyes. Mike holds eye
contact with her for a few seconds before approaching her.
                                         QUICK CUT
Allie is in a bathing suit on the beach watching Luca's wake
boarding tourney. Luca is doing acrobatic flips and stunts.
Allie cheers for him. Luca points at her and smiles as he
finishes his run. John and Shea are also there spectating
and cheering on.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike and the blonde Brazilian girl have left the bookstore
and are briskly walking through downtown DC chatting and
laughing. Mike pulls out his phone to get her number.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike is on the bus sitting next to the purple haired Asian
girl, chatting her up, smiling and laughing with her. Mike
pulls out his phone as the bus comes to a stop.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike and the light brown haired girl are still running on
the track. Mike points to the far side of the track, they
both get set to race, pause a couple of seconds, then begin
sprinting. They are neck and neck as Mike playfully tries to


block her from winning. She pulls ahead of him and he falls
over into the grass to her amusement.
                                         QUICK CUT
Mike and the dark haired Persian girl are gazing into each
others eyes, having a very sensual conversation. A waiter
brings them a bottle of red wine. Mike jokingly acts like a
wine connoisseur as he swirls his red wine around in his
glass before putting up to his nose and smelling it. Mike
then takes a very tiny sip and lets it sit on his tongue.
                                         QUICK CUT
Luca is pulling off dangerous and wild tricks, landing all
of them with authority. Allie and the crowd cheer as Luca
has won the competition. Luca doesn't look at Allie this
time after the victory instead looking at other beautiful
women that are cheering him on. She notices and feels a
little insecure. John next to Shea, and can be seen giving
her a bump of cocaine.
                                         QUICK CUT
Rock is running full speed after the opposing running back
and snares his leg behind the line of scrimmage. Rock jumps
up and celebrates as the crowd goes wild. Monty, Dre, and
Will are in the front row jumping around happily.

**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
again closing out another game and winning.
                                         QUICK CUT
Quick Cuts

*Mike is hiding behind a tree outside of the metro station
as the light brown haired girl walks out. Mike jumps out and
surprises her, she laughs and he grabs her hand.

*The purple haired Asian girl and Mike walk out of the metro
station together. Mike points across the street as they

*The blonde Brazilian girl walks out of the metro station
looking for Mike. He is sitting on a bench nearby, he
motions his finger as to say "come here".
                                         QUICK CUT


Quick Cuts

*Mike is with the light brown haired girl inside a beach
themed bar. The two are smiling and laughing at each other
as they drink a couple of tropical island drinks.

*Mike is with the purple haired Asian girl at a dive bar,
packed with people. They cheers with a couple of beers.

*Mike is with the blonde Brazilian girl at an outdoors patio
bar. The blonde Brazilian girl hands Mike a shot of tequila.
They both lick the salt off their glasses, drink the shots,
and bite into limes.
                                         QUICK CUT
Outside his luxurious mansion, Luca and John are mingling
and entertaining everyone poolside, soaking in all of the
attention from Luca winning his tournament. Everyone is
partying and Luca is loving it. He takes beer bongs with
John and entertains everyone. Allie is sitting with Shea,
looking on as Luca steals the show and doesn't give her any
attention. Luca begins flirting with a couple of beautiful
young girls as Allie sits nearby in silent jealousy.
                                         QUICK CUT
Rock is seen sprinting behind the line of scrimmage and
sacking the opposing quarterback. The home fans cheer wildly
with Monty, Dre, and Will all in the front row high fiving.

**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
winning yet another big game.
                                         QUICK CUT
Quick cuts

*Mike is dancing with the purple haired Asian girl very
slowly, face to face on the dance floor.

*Mike is grinding behind the light brown haired girl on a
packed dance floor. His hands are around her waist.

*Mike is watching the blonde Brazilian girl dance for him,
he is lost in a lustful trance as she gazes into his eyes.
                                         QUICK CUT


Mike finishes his glass of red wine as he gazes into the
dark haired Persian girls eyes. He then moves in for a kiss.
                                         QUICK CUT
Quick cuts

*Mike turns the light haired brown girl around and starts
kissing her very gently.

*Mike moves in close to the purple haired Asian girl around
and begins to kiss her.

*Mike walks up to the blonde Brazilian girl and starts to
kiss her.
                                         QUICK CUT
Allie is sitting and waiting impatiently as Luca is
beginning to get wasted and flirts even harder with the
random girls. Allie is frustrated, finally gets up and grabs
Luca's hand, walks him away to a more private spot. Luca
realizes he is in trouble and says something to Allie to
make her laugh, puts his arms around her and goes in and
kisses her. She reluctantly kisses him back and gives a half
smile. John grabs Shea and throws her into the pool then
jumps in on top of her.
                                         CUT TO:
Quick cuts

*Mike is sitting on a bed next to the light brown haired
girl very sensually kissing her and slowly caressing her

*Mike is standing beside a bed while kissing the purple
haired Asian girl.

*Mike and the blonde Brazilian girl are lustfully rolling
around in bed kissing.

*Mike and the dark haired Persian girl are kissing
passionately against the bedroom door.

*Mike takes off the shirt of the light brown haired girl
while kissing her neck, he then unbuttons her white bra.

*A white bra flies through the air.

*A black bra flies through the air.

*A pink bra flies through the air.


*A purple bra flies through the air.

*Pink panties fly through the air.

*Purple panties fly through the air.

*Black panties fly through the air.

*A teddy bear flies through the air.

*White panties fly though the air.
                                         CUT TO:
It's late in the game and the Warriors are down 6 points.
Rock is on the field. He gets set pre-snap and reads the
quarterbacks eyes. He jumps the receivers route and
intercepts the football running for the endzone. Right as
Rock is being tackled short of the endzone he laterals the
ball to a teammate trailing behind him securing the go ahead
touchdown. The crowd is going ballistic with Monty, Dre, and
Will all jumping up and down losing their minds as it
happens right in front of them.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike is lying in his bed, wakes up and sees a note. It reads
"I really like you a lot... =)" It is signed with the name
Kiley. Mike smiles and falls back into his pillow. Dre,
Monty, and Will all burst into Mike's room full of
jubilation and excitement. They are blasting the song "Sh*t"
by Future. All three jump on Mike on his bed hopping around
to the song celebrating.
All three mouth out the gun fire part in unison,
YA!". All three hopping around Mike can't help but smile at
how happy they are.
My ambitions as a rider, sippin on
lean getting higher!
They continue bouncing around dancing to the song.
      (picks up Kiley's
Damn son you got these hoes
leaving you notes too, they want


                       MONTY (cont'd)
more! They want so much more, you
bring the pain hardcore to the
brains son!
Damn son you bringin da pain to
those bitches! Wow what a
There's gonna be so many girls at
this party tonight! We are so
hyped! You got us in bro we will
never forget!
Yeah Rock invited us to his friend
Clarence's big party!
Rock has turned our boy into a
man, hooked it up with tickets,
and invited us to a super-model
party! This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to us.
You can thank me for trying to
drunkenly attack one of the
strongest men on earth and getting
Rock arrested.
So you must be totally over Allie
by now right? These new girls look
better anyways.
      (hands Mike a bong)
She's one more bong hit away from
being forgotten, here you go bro.
      (takes the bong
       and lights it and
       takes a tiny hit)
Allie who?
      (blows out the
The friends all laugh together and jump around in joy.
I'm gonna get some tonight!
Mike, Monty, and Dre all shout with the song and point at
each other with the lyrics. YOU A GOON YOU A GOON YOU A
                                         CUT TO:


Mike and the roommates park on the street outside of
Clarence's driveway. There are a lot of luxurious cars
parked all over the street. Mike, Monty, Dre, and Will, see
Rock who is dressed in a white/blue tuxedo wearing a halo.
Mike walks up to him dressed in a sharp black tuxedo with a
red shirt and devil horns. Dre and Monty are both dressed as
devils and Will is dressed in white/angel attire.
This is the moment of truth boys,
are you ready to experience what a
real party is?
The guys all cheer and run up to hug Rock. Jumping up and
      (excited, pupils
       get big)
Oh my God this is the greatest day
of my life! Rock I love you more
than anything in the world!
                                         CUT TO:
The interior of the mansion is beautifully decorated to
match the Heaven/Hell theme. Mike, Rock, Monty, Dre, and
Will all run into Clarence and Tang who greet them near the
entrance. Tang is in a very elaborate devil costume while
Clarence is in an equally elaborate angel outfit.
Rock! Mike! Hey boys! So happy you
could make it! Rock did you tell
Mike about the rules?
Rock and Mike look at each other for a second and look back
to Clarence.
There are no rules! Have fun and
be easy on the girls!
      (Does a sexy
       little dance)
Get freaky bitches!
Oh you little slut you!
      (pinches Tang's
Clarence and Tang skip off to another room.
      (whispers to Mike)
Alright, this is it. After tonight
you will be completely over that
ex of yours and you will


                       ROCK (cont'd)
understand why being a man is so
I hope so.
A beautiful model walks by and hands them each a drink.
Don't hope, be dope.
Rock cheers his drink with Mike's.
I'll see you in Hell! Come on
      (Motions to Monty,
       Dre, and Will.)
Rock and the gang leave Mike and walk downstairs to the part
of the mansion/party that is decorated like Hell.

Mike walks upstairs into the pristine Heaven themed area.
He is standing in an open room with incredible chandeliers
hanging down, an absolutely stunning fully stocked bar and
plenty of spaces for lounging and cocktail tables. In the
middle is a band composed of a man playing the piano, a man
playing the violin, and a beautiful woman (Ellie Goulding)
who is singing and playing a harp, creating a serene blend
of music. There are only a handful of people so far, and
Mike walks to the bar to grab a drink and soak in his
incredible surroundings. After getting a drink and watching
the band perform for a minute, the stunning, absolutely
gorgeous model AUDREY SILVER walks up to the bar next to
him. Mike is mesmerized as she walks up, his life flashes
before his eyes and his nerves tighten up to the max as if
he just saw a ghost. After a few seconds Mike musters up the
courage to say something.
Hi, I'm Mike.
Hello, I'm Audrey.
So a golfer, a gambling addict,
and a alcoholic walk into a bar.
Mike points to John Daly who walks into the party dressed in
devil attire.
Good timing on that one!
Great timing is kind of my thing.
After all here I am... In Heaven,


                       MIKE (cont'd)
standing next to an angel.
Oh really now?
      (looks up to
Really, you were hand crafted by
God to mesmerize the world and
make guys like me fight to the
death, hoping to come to a place
like this.
Audrey has a good sense of humor and laughs pretty loudly.
Thank you?!
      (admiring his
I've never experienced anything
like this, it's surreal.
I love how everything is set up,
it's really nice. I like your
devil suit.
I an angel at heart but wanted to
play the role of a devil tonight.
I was stuck on deciding for a
while. I really liked my devil
outfit but I thought it might be
too slutty.
I totally understand, I hate it
when I dress too slutty. I can
never tell if girls actually want
me for being me or if they just
want to use my body, you know? Hit
it and quit it.
Wow yeah, so you have the same
problems. You're a funny guy.
Well shit, you think I'm funny,
can we get married already?


Right now or it's never gonna
Mike immediately drops to his knee as if to propose. People
take notice and the room gets quiet.
      (high charisma)
I fuckin love you! Lets get
Audrey is trying her best to hold in laughter as onlookers
await her response patiently.
Ok one stipulation, do you like
Thai food? Cause I love it.
I love it. Sometimes I take the
noodles and make a noodle mustache
with them.
Ok then I guess that's good enough
for me!
She said yes!
Mike stands up and hugs Audrey as everyone claps around
Well that was fast. But what about
my ring?
We can't do that now, it could get
a little too chilly up here. A
little too.. Icy.
Like that would be the worst thing
in the world. I want my ring!
I don't want my nipples to get
hard in front of all these nice
So now that we're practically
married, what do we do now?
      (grabs Audrey's
Now we dance, an elegant dance of
love and memory. We dance for love


                       MIKE (cont'd)
lost and for new love to be
Mike quickly whips Audrey to the dance floor where the band
is playing a wonderful song. The two dance together as
others look on, they whisper to each other and get to know
one another as the two dance the night away.
                                         CUT TO:
Rock walks down into the Hell themed basement of Clarence's
mansion. The setting is one of excitement with red, black,
and orange silk strewn everywhere to give the appearance of
fire. There is a DJ dressed as a demon playing loud
electro-swing dance music, with many people passionately
dancing on the dance floor. Steam and mist is flying about
everywhere. Rock, Monty, Dre, and Will all grab drinks and
filter into the dance floor, and start dancing with the
beautiful models everywhere. Across the floor is Allie,
Luca, Shea, and John, all but Allie in devil costumes, Allie
is in a beautiful angel costume. They are sitting at one of
the many cocktail tables that are set up.
      (fake gentlemen's
I don't know about you all but I
believe this to be a fine whiskey
and cocaine type of evening.
      (fake gentlemen's
Why yes John I couldn't agree
more, I believe this to be the
finest whiskey and cocaine
      (nods her head to
I couldn't agree more.
John pulls out a little bag of cocaine with a small spoon to
snort bumps off of. Shea takes the first, followed by Luca
and John. Allie is offered but turns it down.
      (peer pressuring)
Oh come on Allie, if there was
ever a time and place.
I don't know.


Oh come on my little angel! You
can be a bad girl every once in a
while, live a little!
Shea hands Allie the spoon with cocaine and Allie
reluctantly takes it, she snorts it and shakes her head back
and forth.
There she is! Like a seasoned vet.
Allie's scans her setting for a about 10 seconds, admiring
how well designed the party is. Her expression changes from
neutral to being very happy.
Wow! I didn't think it would feel
this good.
Now you know what you have been
missing out on.
You know what will really set this
John pulls out a bag of MDMA pills.
      (fake gentlemen's
Oh no John you shouldn't have!
      (fake gentlemen's
Oh but I insist!
Oh you said you weren't but you
did anyway! Now we have a night
ahead of us.
John takes a pill, and hands one each to Luca and Shea. They
both take their pills, then John hands one to Allie. She
takes the pill right away. They all cheer in anticipation of
being highly inebriated. Allie then pauses for a second and
realizes what she has just done and feels a bit of anxiety.
I can't believe what I've just
done, if my boss sees me like
Don't worry, everything will be
alright, he wont notice. We are
all here for a great time right?


You know I have something that
could help you out here.
John pulls out a Xanax pill.
Mobile pharmacy John to the
Allie takes the Xanax from John and swallows it.
Anything else John can get you?
Perhaps a quelude? Or an edible?
I think I'm going to be OK now.
Hang on girl you're in for a ride!
      (gives Allie a
       lustful look)
It's dark and hell is hot.
      (Does a DMX bark
       before kissing
Luca takes Allie's hand and begins to walk her to the dance
I love DMX too Luca, great album.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike and Shea are sitting down at a cocktail table after
dancing. Mike is on his third drink now and beginning to get
a little drunk.
Would you say that, I am a good
dancer, or a great dancer?
You aren't quite jabberwocky
level, but you're not bad.
That's one of the nicest things
anyone has ever said about me,
thank you.
You're welcome.


I would say your dancing is on par
with a peg legged pirate that has
good rhythm.
Mike! That isn't nice!
What? I said a peg legged pirate
with good rhythm, not bad rhythm.
Your high heels can only stick so
many landings.
Oh you are too much.
You know what I like about you?
What is that?
You're an angel.
Isn't that why you married me?
Every devil needs an angel to show
them the light.
Yet the angel cannot be tempted by
the dark, otherwise they will
become a devil themselves.
Can an angel go from being a devil
back to being an angel again?
I don't know, it's hard to tell.
      (goes in for a
Lets find out!
Mike and Audrey share a gentle kiss, very innocent and
carefree. After they kiss they smile at one another, Mike
takes Audrey's hand and holds it.
                                         CUT TO:


The dance floor is in full motion with a large group of
people all dancing the night away. Rock, Monty, Dre, and
Will are all still dancing with different beautiful women.
Will is grinding with a very beautiful woman in a devil
      (looks to Monty
       and Dre)
This is so dope!
This is what dreams are made of
buddy. Keep grindin!
      (to Will)
Grind it boy, grind it!
Don't hold back the night is just
starting to heat up!
On the other end of the dance floor Allie, Luca, John, and
Shea are all feeling the effects of the drugs they are on
and are sweating profusely while dancing. Allie and Shea are
grinding on one another while Luca and John are dancing
Hey Luca remember that time we
were dancing at the greatest party
of all time!
Yeah you mean right now!
Yeah right now!
This is some good shit!
Luca and John start dancing more intensely to the music and
start their own dance circle. They are going all out on the
MDMA and each pull off some spectacular dance moves while
Allie and Shea are dancing nearby in their own world. Tang
and Clarence happen to be downstairs and notice the dance
circle, they join in and pull off some moves of their own.
Everyone is having a great time.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike and Audrey are still sitting and enjoying each others
company upstairs in the pristine heaven themed area. Mike
looks at his drink and looks at the bar but resists the
temptation to get another drink.


Wow what a great night. But you
know what would make it even
better, is if we went downstairs.
      (joking around)
I don't know about that. I'm kind
of scared of hell, being an angel
and all. Do you think I would be
welcome down there?
I'm pretty sure you would be
welcome anywhere.
I think you're underestimating
where we are going. Do you really
want to leave heaven?
It should be fun, you know? Whats
the worst that could happen?
Ok lets go!
Mike nods his head to the stairway down to hell themed area.
He sees Will with a beautiful woman on his way up to the
heaven themed area as he and Audrey are going down. He high
fives Will, gives him a hug and slaps his ass as he goes
down the stairs.
                                         CUT TO:
Mike and Audrey walk downstairs into the Hell themed
madness, where everyone is dancing and partying like crazy.
They both have looks of awe as they take in the music and
the scene before them.
Wow this is something else, what
did we get ourselves into? Can we
go back to heaven?
Nope we're stuck down here now, we
can't leave.
Alright here we go, you may be in
hell now but you're still my
Mike and Audrey hold hands and walk into the large crowd of
party people. They start to dance to the music that is being
played and blend into the crowd. They start to dance and are
genuinely falling in love, Mike is staying somewhat sober
and Audrey is infatuated with Mike's confidence.


Nearby the group of Allie, Luca, John, and Shea are still
dancing but less intense. Allie comes back to reality from
dancing for a moment. She glances across the dance floor and
sees Mike and Audrey dancing, smiling, holding hands, and
looking into each others eyes. At first she is in disbelief,
and has to do a double take, and a triple take not sure if
shes being deceived by the drugs shes on. Then suddenly like
a ton of bricks she is hit with a fierce bout of jealousy
and rage. Luca notices her reaction and gives a concerned
Is everything alright babe? You
look a little, mad?
That fucking guy, what in the hell
is he doing here?
Allie quickly bolts over to Mike and Audrey to confront Mike
to see what is going on. She taps Mike on the shoulder but
he doesn't quite notice it because of how crowded it is.
She then grabs his shoulder and turns him around. Mike's
stomach turns as he sees his ex girlfriend Allie right in
front of him in her sweat soaked angel outfit.
Allie? Whoa! What are you doing
Allie ignores Mike and turns to Audrey.
      (reaches out her
       hand to greet)
Hello Audrey Silver is it? You are
absolutely gorgeous, I am a huge
fan. I am Tang Kim's personal
assistant Allie, it's great to
meet you.
Luca follows behind and gets up close to listen in to what
Allie is up to. Shea and John notice what is up and are not
too far away within listening distance.
Very nice to meet you Allie, so
you know Mike here?
      (feeling the
       effects of the
       drugs shes on)
Yes as a matter of fact I do know
Mike, we used to date. We used to
have a lot of sex, really kinky
Audrey whispers to Mike.


What is going on right now?
      (whispering to
Can we go back to heaven now
      (whispering and
I told you we're stuck down here,
this is some crazy stuff. I want
to see you finagle your way out of
this one funny man.
Mike feels a bit panicked at first, then the voice of Rock
enters his head reminding him that life is full of games and
to give it your best effort. He accepts Allie's challenge.
      (playing the
       game/Really dry)
I'll be honest Audrey, I met this
Allie character once, we didn't
exactly have sex but she did give
me a sloppy blowjob once behind a
Mc'Donald's dumpster, she actually
paid me $20! And it was one of the
worst blow jobs I have ever
Audrey lets out a snort of laughter and spits some of her
drinks out at how brazen Mike's comment was. Luca didn't
quite hear everything but notices Allie amazement at Mike's
Hey Allie who is this guy? Is he
bothering you?
      (dancing in place,
       putting her hands
       on herself)
You could say I'm feeling
bothered, hot and bothered.
      (directed to Luca)
What I said a second ago wasn't
true, I did used to date Allie, I
gave her possibly the most mind
blowing orgasms of her life. Shes
mad that part of her life is over
now and she needs to get over it.
I finish in two minutes, she was
finished in 2 seconds!
Audrey laughs out loud again. Luca is super confused and
wants to be angry but the drugs are putting his mind in a
weird position.


Ok alright a real funny guy, you
know you're talking about my
girlfriend that way, not cool
Luca's comment strike a nerve with Mike and changes his
state a little, he has a minor flashback to the rage he felt
that night at the club before he charged at Rock. However he
keeps his composure.
Yeah well life isn't cool
sometimes bro. I'm jealous you
only have to deal with Allie, she
isn't that bad. Audrey here is
already asking me for a fat
diamond, she is so high
Luca gets up close to Mike.
      (angry but feeling
       good from the
Funny guy.
Allie walks up and butt's inbetween Luca and Mike, she grabs
Mike's hand.
      (Acting like an
       angel yet
Let me have one last dance, for
good old times sake.
      (whispers to
       Audrey while
Please don't divorce me over this,
I swear it will be one dance then
we can go back to heaven, or this
guy is gonna kick my ass. Either
way we are having a great time.
      (whispers back to
This is too good, I'm here for the
Allie grabs Mike's hand and drags him 20 feet away from the
group and starts dancing with Mike while starting in his
What in the FUCK are you doing
here Mike? And how the hell are
you... Making Audrey Silver follow
you around? What has happened to


                       ALLIE (cont'd)
Whoa whoa, I was invited, Clarence
Weddle is my boy. And well I don't
know I saw her so I started
talking to her. Why are you
jealous or something?
No I'm not jealous, I'm just
surprised you're here, like really
really fucking surprised. How do
you even know Clarence? I am
baffled and confused and I don't
know why I am feeling this way.
Ok well if you aren't jealous,
then we should be cool, be
friendly, no need for a full blown
interrogation. I think I really
like this Audrey, please don't
ruin this for me. You have a
boyfriend, you shouldn't even be
thinking about me at all.
Allie turns around and starts grinding on Mike with her ass.
Mike looks over to an entertained Audrey and concerned Luca
and rolls his eyes at them. Allie puts Mike's hands around
her waist.
I don't feel like I have ever met
this Mike, what happened to you?
Are you the Allie I used to know?
Are you on drugs or something?
Maybe I'm a little... Drugged up.
      (laughs out loud)
Are you rolling right now? Oh my
God you were such a goody two
shoes back when we were together
you would hardly drink. Now you a
supafreak, and I love it!
Yeah you like me being a bad girl
Allie puts Mike's hands on her breasts, and Mike is getting
more and more turned on by her.
Rock notices Mike is dancing with a girl, but doesn't know
it is Allie. They are dancing a distance of 30 feet from
them. Monty and Dre are quite drunk at this point.


It looks like your boy Mike is
gettin along nicely.
      (nearly jaw
No fucking way, he's with ALLIE!
What in the fuck is she doing
Oh no, not that bitch, she fucked
Mike up so bad. This ain't good.
Allie? The ex!?
Yeah that's her.. Damn she is
looking fine as hell tonight
though. But we shouldn't let him
fuck himself over again, he's come
so far.
Monty starts to walk toward Mike and Allie, but Rock stops
Wait a second, I want to see if
Mike has learned anything, I want
to see what he does for a minute.
Sir yes sir!
                                         CUT TO:
Will is upstairs dancing with multiple beautiful women to
the serene heavenly music. Will has great dance moves, and
the women are very attracted to his style.
Oh Yeaaah! Get on my level!
                                         CUT TO:
Allie and Mike continue dancing very passionately.
Allie if you keep this up you're
gonna get in trouble.
Maybe I want to get in trouble.


Maybe I want to dance with Audrey
Maybe I want you back.
Maybe that's not such a good idea.
Allie turns around to look Mike in the eyes.
Maybe it is.
Allie leans in and starts kissing Mike very passionately,
and Mike has no choice but to kiss her back, as he still
loves her. Luca is furious, he charges after Mike. He runs
up, separates the two and starts grabbing Mike by the shirt
and punches him in the stomach and face. Rock, Monty, and
Dre all notice this and run over to help. Rock steps in
between the two to separate them. As Rock is in the middle
of them all he recognizes Audrey's voice yelling at them to
stop and he looks over at her.
Audrey? Baby?
Out of nowhere a coked up John comes flying in and dives
into the group of everyone and the pile rolls up on Rock's
leg pinning his knee in a bad position. Rock's knee is
injured and he is writhing in pain on the ground trying his
best not to yell in pain. Monty falls to his knees next to
Rock and immediately begins screaming and sobbing.
Rock NO! NOOOOO!!!
Everyone's focus shifts to Rock being down and injured. Luca
grabs Allie, and motions for John, and Shea to head out. The
four quickly depart. Audrey walks up to Rock and the three
Oh God no my knee.. The playoffs.
                                         FADE TO:
A very nervous Mike walks into Rock's hospital room. Audrey
is standing next to Rock holding his hand.
I'm so sorry Rock.