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You Play to Win the Game
by Mark Maskeny (mark.maskeny@gmu.edu)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
Set in the Northern Virginia Washington DC area Beautiful Disaster is the story of the eternally frustrated and soft Corey Wallace. Beautiful OCD enigma Alex Oberlin broke up with Corey a month prior and is causing his life to spiral out of control. Corey battles for custody of his 9 year old freshmen in high school prodigy son Elliot Wallace against lifelong nemesis Luca Mascerano. After a stressful last day at work, Corey’s close friends Wade, Ricardo, and Larry decide to take him to a DC night club to meet some attractive bachelorette's. Corey is left alone to entertain the girls as his friends are at the bar getting shots. Suddenly the charismatic, ball-busting professional golfer, Garrett Devlin goes in for the steal. He verbally and emotionally embarrasses Corey to the brink. The beautiful disaster soon occurs and the two men are thrown into a serious predicament with the law. Tempted to settle for $20,000 dollars Corey decides that money is not as important as the opportunity to learn from one of the most infamous ladies men in the world. Corey decides that if he learns from the best, he may have a chance of attracting his ex-girlfriend Alex back into his life. His journey will not be easy as super vain rich boy Luca Mascerano does everything in his power to ruin Corey’s life, trying to gain vengeance from a previous disgrace.


Copyrighted under the W.G.A.



FADE IN:

INT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
Inside of the mammoth new Washington DC Warriors stadium,
fans are cheering at the top of their lungs, as the
Washington Warriors defense is entrenched on the goal line
against its arch nemesis the Dallas Bandits. The Washington
defense is led by Hall of fame worthy linebacker, Alpha, and
egotistical ROCK JOHNSON(37). The offense of the Dallas
Bandits is 2 yards from scoring the game winning touchdown.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Intensley
       addressing his
       teammates)
WE STOPPIN THEM RIGHT HERE RIGHT
NOW! BRING THE HAMMER DOWN BOYS!
LETS GO ON 3! 1, 2, 3, HIT!!
                                                            
The Bandits offense runs the ball to the right where the
beastly Rock Johnson penetrates through the line of
scrimmage and destroys the running back 5 yards behind the
line of scrimmage. The crowd cheers wildly as the Bandits
head coach calls a timeout to stop the clock with 17 seconds
left.
                                                            
                       ROCK
WOOOO!!! TIMEOUT BOYS! WE NAPPIN
OUT HERE! WE FALLIN ASLEEP!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Good guy millennial, MIKE GARRETT(24) is playing the online
computer game Defense of the Ancients 2 (DOTA 2) online,
against his nemesis, the crass, rude, and witty Day9(28).
Both are professional DOTA 2 players and they are training
for an upcoming tournament. In the adjacent room the
Washington football game is on TV. Mike's friends and
roommates--
The boisterous, ball busting DOUG "Monty" MONTEZUMA (23,
Latino American) the innocent, and friendly WILL CHANG(22,
Chinese Immigrant) and the eccentric, high energy DRE
GODDARD (23 African American). All three are watching the
football game.
                                                            
                       DRE
      (Jumping up and
       cheering)
BOOM! Stick that nigga ROCK! Clap
that nigga up!
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (excited)
HE KILLED HIM! SWEET BABY JESUS
GET THE BODY BAGS OUT!
                                                            

2.

                       WILL
      (thick Chinese
       accent)
Oh yeah! Hit that guy! So ganster!
                                                            
Mike is extremely focused on DOTA2 as and is trying his best
to keep up with Day9, playng the game flawlessly. The two
spar back and forth while Dota 2 caster GrandGrant is making
snippy jokes and comments.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
The Washington Warriors defensive coordinator is coaching
the defense on the sideline.
                                                            
                       COACH KELLY
Cover everyone! Don't let up, take
everything you have inside of you
and unleash it now. Don't give
them a single inch! Get violent
you fucking animals!!!
                                                            
The defense roars and runs back onto the field, lining up
against the Bandits defense. The tight end on the Bandits
goes into motion and Rock follows him. The ball snaps and
the tight end runs a button hook route right on the goal
line. The ball is passed his way and is nearly caught before
Rock dives and swats it to the ground. The crowd cheers
wildly as it is now 3rd and goal on the 7 yard line with 12
seconds remaining in the game.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You can't throw on me! Get that
weak shit out of here!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Monty, Dre, and Will are all on the edge of their seats and
super excited. Mike is still clicking away on his mouse.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Oh my GOD did you see that? This
man is incredible!
                                                            
                       DRE
This is too much, I can't watch!
                                                            
                       WILL
So big! So fast!
                                                            
                       MONTY
MIKE! How are you not watching
this? You fuckin nerd, playing
that godawful game!
                                                            
Mike is wearing headphones and cannot hear Monty. His game
is progressing to the middle phase and Day9 is beginning to
pull ahead. Day9 outmaneuvers Mike and kills his hero in an

3.

important team fight causing Mike to get more and more
frustrated. Day9 taunts him typing "Ez MMR scrub lolol!".
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
Both teams are lined up against one another and the crowd is
chanting "DEFENSE! DEFENSE!". It's 3rd and 7 and The Bandits
are in a 4 wide receiver set. Rock is calling out all sorts
of defensive alignments to his teammates. The Bandits snap
the ball and after a couple of seconds the Bandits
quarterback runs a draw and starts running up the middle to
the endzone. Rock flies after him, grabs his jersey and
swings him backwards before scoring. The Bandits call their
final timeout at the 2 yard line with 5 seconds remaining.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Flexing)
WOOOOOO!!!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Monty, Dre, and Will are all grabbing each other, jumping
around and screaming wildly.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Oh God it's happening! I'm losing
my mind. Everyone hold hands it's
fourth down.
                                                            
                       DRE
Close your eyes, hold hands and
hum, hold hands and hum
motherfuckers!
                                                            
                       WILL
Ok yes, this is American ritual.
                                                            
Monty, Dre, and Will hold hands, close their eyes and begin
humming in unison.
                                                            
Mike is competing as fast as he can, and is still not fast
enough to get ahead of Day9. Mike's hero gets killed again
by Day9 in a crucial team fight. Mike is visibly frustrated,
hits his keyboard and curses.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
It's 4th and 2 on the goal line and everyone in the stadium
is on their feet. The Bandits line up in a goal line
formation, and the Warriors defense matches with their goal
line stance. The Bandits hike the ball and fake the run, and
playaction pass to their fullback on the outside. Rock
wisely reads the play and is in full pursuit. Right before
the Bandits fullback leaps to the pylon in the endzone, Rock
lunges and knocks his body out of bounds inches before

4.

scoring the game winning touchdown. The clock is at 0 and
the Washington Warriors win the game. The stadium is
deafeningly loud. The Warriors team swarms Rock and begin
celebrating.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Monty and Dre run around screaming and jumping all over the
place, with Will following and imitating. Monty starts
throwing and breaking things in jubilation then runs over to
Mike and starts grabbing him. Dre and Will run over and
start jumping around Mike. Mike is defeated in his game and
has a blank expression on his face as his friends celebrate
around him.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (raises hands in
       air)
SUPERBOWL!
      (takes Mike's
       headphones off)
We're gonna win the SUPERBOWL!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Isn't it week one?
                                                            
                       DRE
Who cares what week it is! We are
going to the big game!
                                                            
                       WILL
Yeah! Superbowl baby!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Alright whatever, I have to go to
work.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Make some money and get your mind
right boy, we going out tonight!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO
                                                            
 
EXT. SUBURBS - DAY
                                                            
Mike runs out of his house and jumps through the open window
of his green sedan. Mike speeds out of his neighborhood into
the suburbs of northern Virginia. Mike's face goes from
anxious to depressed as he hits bumper to bumper traffic.
Mike is behind a truck in a long line of traffic in a left
turn lane. When the light changes and all the cars begin
slowly turning left, Mike speeds up behind the truck. With
limited vision he turns left seconds after it turned red,
and is nearly T-boned by oncoming traffic. A police
cruiser's lights begin flashing and Mike is swiftly pulled
over. Mike sighs deeply and slowly thumps his head on the
steering wheel. Mike eventually makes it to work, parks his
car, climbs out of his window and lands awkwardly on the
ground. He gets up and runs inside of his place of
employment, the Buffalo wing palace.
                                                            
 

5.

INT. BUFFALO WING PALACE - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike rushes through the front door and jogs through the
restaurant to the kitchen. All of the servers are waiting
anxiously in the kitchen, circled around asshole
Pakistani/American manager OSAMA(28). He looks at Mike with
a very dissatisfied expression as he points to his watch.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
You're late, dumbass!
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm sorry I got pull--
                                                            
                       OSAMA
DON'T even go there Mike! My
Bandits lost and I'm not in the
mood to hear your shit excuses.
                                                            
Osama begins pacing back and forth.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (Very serious;
       asshole)
Now listen up, tonight is going to
be very busy and I expect nothing
short of perfection. You should
all know the rules by now.
      (counts off on
       fingers)
Giving out extra blue cheese,
FIRED. Getting loose with the
celery, FIRED. Complaints... You
get a long complaint from me about
how FIRED your bitch ass is. You
throw out my cash and I throw out
the white trash!
      (angrily points at
       Mike)
And I swear to God Mike if you...
      (composes self,
       walks over to the
       heated food
       window and picks
       up a buffalo wing)
Do you all know why my family
pay's you each $2.14 an hour to
feed these greasy, little pieces
of heavenly goodness to stupid,
fat, white America?
                                                            
Mike is silent, with an emotionless look on his face as the
rest of the wait staff replies with a disheartened "yes".
Osama gets right up in Mike's face. Mike doesn't make any
eye contact.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (Hilarious stare)
To make MY bank account chubby...
      (Takes a slow bite
       out of the
       buffalo wing)
Motherfucker you can't even hold
my jockstrap.
                                                            

6.

Osama backs off.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (scanning the wait
       staff)
Let's not have a repeat of the
lazy BULLSHIT I saw going down
last week. Now go make me MY money
ya little white slaves!
      (shoo's off the
       waiters)
                                                            
Mike begins to walk off but Osama grabs his shoulder from
behind and grips his shirt real tight.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (very serious)
I'll be counting those napkins
Mike. I DARE you to get careless,
I DARE you.
                                                            
Mike slowly backs away from Osama and walks out of the
kitchen.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. FASHION SHOW- BACK STAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
ALLIE OBERLIN(25), stylish, beautiful, intelligent, OCD, and
hilariously awkward. She is an assistant to dictatorial
fashion designer TANG KIM(Mid Forties). Tang is a highly
irritable perfectionist with a thick Korean accent. He has a
lazy eye and speaks in the third person.

Allie has a clipboard in hand, and head set turned on. She
is getting everything organized for Tang's seasonal fashion
show.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (Eccentric; prissy
       Korean accent)
Hello, Allie? Give me a count on
models. Check runway equipment,
double check the guest list and...
                                                            
                       ALLIE
And?
                                                            
                       TANG
      (yells while
       looking up)
and bring Tang his puppy dog!
                                                            
Standing with dictatorial posture, Tang points his finger
across the room.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Yes sir. Right away!
                                                            
Allie hastily walks off set.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

7.

INT. BUFFALO WING PALACE- MAIN FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is walking out of the kitchen with a huge tray
completely stacked with buffalo wings. Mike approaches a
large table with fifteen teenagers.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (looking around at
       the teenagers)
Ummm lets see here, I have hot
wings, really hot wings, and
ridiculously hot wings.
                                                            
A few teenagers give Mike a blank stare, one snickers at
him, and the rest are chatting with one another not paying
attention.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (attempting to get
       anyone's
       attention)
Hot? Hot? Hot?
      (nobody responds)
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (mutters)
Fuck me.
                                                            
A morbidly obese girl overhears him and gives Mike a lustful
look slowly sucks on the tip of her finger. Mike gives an
awkward look back and walks away.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. FASHION SHOW- BACK STAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie is approaching Tang with a clipboard in one hand, and
a tiny Shi Tzu puppy in the other. The puppy is dressed in a
ridiculous outfit. Allie walks over and hands the puppy to
Tang.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (babying the puppy)
There's my little princess. Have
you been a good little puppy dog?
      (puts the puppy
       down and reaches
       into pocket for a
       treat)
Good little puppy dogs who do the
happy feet get a treat!
                                                            
The puppy barks at Tang and excitedly wags its tail.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (yells)
Do the happy feet now!
                                                            
The dog gives a curious look and continues barking.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (Frustrated;
       screaming)
In Korea, bad little puppy dog's
            (MORE)

8.

                       TANG (cont'd)
who don't do the happy feet get
turned into moo goo pork! Now do
the GOD DAMN happy feet!
                                                            
The puppy gets on its hind legs and flaps its front paws in
the air, begging for the treat.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (gives the puppy
       the treat)
That's my little princess!
      (picks the puppy
       back up)
Is everything in order Allie?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (a little nervous)
We have a problem sir.
                                                            
                       TANG
A problem? Tang doesn't tolerate
problems! Fix it!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
It's Kate Upton sir. She has
backed out last minute.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (Intrigued)
What?! Why Kate Upton not here?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
She has an issue with some of the
genius items you have in store for
tonight's show.
                                                            
                       TANG
What is she so afraid of! Tell her
I need her now!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I'm sorry but I don't think she is
going to show.
                                                            
                       TANG
      (super thick
       korean accent)
Tell her Tang double her pay! and
to hurry back with them big ol'
sloppies!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Yes sir, right away!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BUFFALO WING PALACE- MAIN FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is frantically running around, he drops off two drinks
at a table occupied by a drugged up and crazy elderly
couple. Mike then runs to the kitchen and notices Osama
waiting next to a large tray of wings.
                                                            

9.

                       OSAMA
Hey kracka! This shit has been
sitting here for 5 minutes!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (flustered/annoyed)
It's crazy out there and it's not
like I'm getting any help from
Precious or Dog the bounty hunter
over here.
                                                            
Mike point's Osama's view to two obese female servers moving
at a very slow pace.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
Those bitches suck my dick after
every shift! Fucking Hunger Games
all over my shit every night and
those appetites never get
satisfied! What do you give me?
Absolutely nothing, now get this
shit out there and put a little
enthusiasm and cheerfulness into
it!
                                                            
Mike picks up the tray and hastily races to the table
without looking at any of the patrons.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Very cheesy; fake
       enthusiasm)
Have no fear, everybody! I just
KNOW you're gonna love our
delicious fried CHICKEN!
                                                            
Mike picks his head up and notices a African American family
of 7 all giving him a perplexed look. WANITA JOHNSON(45) the
mother of the family gives Corey a judging look.
                                                            
                       WANITA
      (wide eyes)
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (sheepish)
Oh no... That wasn't supposed to,
you see I don't think I...
                                                            
The table continues to stare daggers at him with no
response. JAIME JOHNSON(21) a attractive african american
girl, is at the table laughing to herself as Mike very
quickly and uncomfortably hands out all of the wings.

Mike notices the ALPHA-TEEN of his large table with a dozen
obnoxious teenagers, a burly football player standing 6'6
tall. Alpha-teen begins waving him down. As Mike begins
walking over he hears a chant begin,"Ulcer popper, Ulcer
Popper". The teens are all slamming their fists on the table
in unison with the chant. One of their peers is hastily
eating the super hot wings, sweating profusely.
                                                            

10.

                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Hey waiter! ALL of us need
separate checks and we have to go
like right now so hurry up.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Ok, it will take a few minutes.
                                                            
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Yeah whatever dude, hurry the fuck
up!
                                                            
The teen eating the ulcer poppers grabs Mike's arm in pain.
                                                            
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
      (Demanding)
Hey waiter I need like two
pitchers right now!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Pitchers of?
                                                            
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
      (clearly in pain)
MILK!
                                                            
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
Get him milk and beer!
                                                            
                       MIKE
OK OK!
                                                            
Before Mike can run back to the kitchen one of his tables
grabs his attention.
                                                            
                       RESTAURANT PATRON
Hey we all need separate checks.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (hurried)
It might take a little while, I'm
really busy I'll get it to you as
fast as I can.
                                                            
The table gives Mike annoyed looks as he darts to yet
another table who is waving him down. The table with the
elderly couple.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (frustrated)
Hi, what can I get for you all?
                                                            
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (has a blank stare
       in his eyes)
We have been waiting for you to
take our order for 15 minutes.
                                                            
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (insane, huge
       smile)
Tyrannasaurous sex robots!
                                                            

11.

Mike gives a strange look to the insane elderly woman then
turns his attention to the zoned out one. He pulls out a
notepad and pen to take their order.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (confused)
I just got your drinks a minute
ago, sir.
                                                            
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (looking at menu)
I would like to get...
                                                            
The drugged, zoned out elderly man sits there staring at the
menu for a moment while Mike anxiously waits with pen in
hand. Chaos ensues all around him as he impatiently waits
for an order.
                                                            
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (Creepily stares
       at Mike)
I like toast!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (perplexed)
I like toast as well.
                                                            
                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (hitting her hands
       on the table)
Pee pee cacka! Pee pee cacka!
                                                            
The insane elder pulls out a laser pointer and begins
flashing it in Mike's eyes while silently chuckling to
herself. Mike is at wits end.
                                                            
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
      (completely blank
       expression and
       voice)
What is the difference between
hot, ridiculously hot, and really
hot?
                                                            
Mike'sexpression turns to one of complete mental agony.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. FASHION SHOW- CHANGING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie is swiftly moving around in the changing room making
sure all of the models are wearing the right outfits. She
hands out different sunglasses to different models as they
walk past her.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
This one's for you, this is for
you, and this one is for you.
                                                            
                       TANG (o.s.)
      (Yelling at the
       models)
I want some sexy emotions out
there people! Give Tang fierce,
            (MORE)

12.

                       TANG (cont'd)
devious, sex crazed looks! Yes
perfect! Perfect!
                                                            
Tang walks up to Allie.
                                                            
                       TANG
Good work Allie, everything is
perfect so far.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (breaks a smile)
Thank you Tang.
                                                            
                       TANG
All Tang asks for is a horse hair
of professionalism. In Korea you
sew sweater for 3 year if you fuck
up show! So get your shit together
and make this fucking show
sparkle! You feel me?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I totally feel you, I'm on it.
                                                            
Tang looks at a very thin male model while walking
off-screen.
                                                            
                       TANG
Suck in that gut, you fat idiot!
                                                            
Supermodel SHEA SYRUS(23) walks up beside Allie in a line to
walk out on the runway. Allie turns her head, notices Shea
right beside her and gasps at how beautiful she is.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Wow! I'm sorry but you are
absolutely gorgeous. I mean I have
seen you in magazines and on TV
but.. Wow.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (smiles)
Thank you...
      (extending hand to
       shake)
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Allie.
                                                            
                       SHEA
You're doing a great job Allie. If
you keep this up, you just might
make it in the fashion business.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I don't know about that, but
thanks anyways.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Tang's assistants usually don't
last very long, but he likes you.
Are you doing anything after the
show?
                                                            

13.

                       ALLIE
      (coyly)
Oh no nothing probably.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (looks back and
       smiles right
       before walking
       out onto the
       runway)
Not tonight you aren't, you're
coming out on the town with me!
                                                            
Allie gives a bright smile as Shea seductively walks down
the runway to the flickering and flashing of many camera's.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BUFFALO WING PALACE- MAIN FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is slowly walking back to his tables with about 15
credit cards and a handful of checks. He drops the cards off
at their respective tables. He then notices that 4 teenagers
walked out on their bills. Mike looks at the alpha-teen.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (upset)
Hey your friends didn't pay! That
comes out of my pocket, can you
get them back here?
                                                            
Two cars outside peel out, tires screeching. Meanwhile the
table with the teen eating the "Ulcer poppers" are all
cheering again. The Ulcer popper teen alternates between
drinking the pitcher of milk and beer, clumsily spilling
some of each on himself as he does it.
                                                            
                       ALPHA-MALE TEEN
      (quickly signing
       credit card)
Sorry BRO, can't help you!
                                                            
The teenagers all bail out, and as Mike starts to run after
them, he hears the elderly table calling him back over. Mike
yo-yo's back to the elderly table with an extremely
frustrated look on his face.
                                                            
                       DRUGGED ELDERLY MAN
Waiter, I think we're ready to
order.
      (Slowly scanning
       the menu for a
       beat)
I would like the-
                                                            
Before the elderly woman can finish her sentence, the patron
who ate the ulcer poppers and chugged the pitchers begins
projectile vomiting all over the table and on the floor. The
elderly couple begins laughing really loud in unison. The
restaurant has a collective "EWWWWW" moment and all of
Mike's tables begin to walk out of the restaurant without
paying.
                                                            

14.

                       INSANE ELDERLY WOMAN
      (pointing to the
       man who vomited)
I'll have what he's having!
                                                            
Osama runs over to the scene with a furious look on his
face. He has a huge stack of napkins in his hand.
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (furious)
You fucking moron! How hard is
your job?! It's waiters, or should
I say...
      (lifts up the
       stack of napkins
       for Mike to see)
Wasters like you that make an
embarrassment out of customer
service.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Bu-
                                                            
                       OSAMA
      (dead stare)
Bu-bu-BUT you... Are...
      (moves in close to
       Mike's ear and
       whispers)
Fired, little duffle bag boy. Now
go and give my money little duffle
bag boy.
                                                            
Mike snaps and splits into a fantasy reality. He pulls a
huge wad of money out of his apron, places it into Osama's
hand. Osama looks down at the money, then Mike grabs the
stack of napkins and places them on Osama's head with his
left hand.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (grimmacing)
It didn't have to be this way.
                                                            
Mike cocks his right arm back and unloads a right cross on
the napkins over Osama's slow motioned rocking skull. Osama
falls down onto the mess of puke. Mike walks through the
floating napkins in slow motion.

Suddenly Mike snaps back into reality where he is still
standing face to face with a grinning Osama. He silently
hands over his apron with all of his money and proceeds to
walk out of the Buffalo Wing Palace without saying a word.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. THE HOUSE- DRIVEWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is driving home in his car, he pulls into his driveway.
Mike walks up to his front door with a depressed expression.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

15.

INT. THE HOUSE LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
As Mike enters the house he walks to the fridge and grabs a
couple of beers. The roommates are relaxing on the couch
smoking and drinking while playing beer pong.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (playing beer pong)
You're home a little early
sweetheart. How was work?
                                                            
Without responding, Mike uses his car key to poke a
shotgunning hole in one beer. He shotguns the beer, and
tosses the empty can into the trash can.
                                                            
                       MONTY
That bad?
                                                            
Still silent Mike pokes a hole in the second beer and
shotguns it. He then begins searching for the house Bong.
                                                            
                       DRE
Damn this nigga is trying to get
fucked up!
                                                            
Mike finds the bong and grabs it. He picks up a lighter off
the table and tries to light it but it's short on fluid.
                                                            
                       DRE
We taking your punk ass out
tonight. It's time your little
white dick got some lovin.
                                                            
                       WILL
You need many pussy.
                                                            
                       MONTY
SO MANY PUSSY!
                                                            
Mike ignores them, attempting to light the bong.
                                                            
                       MONTY
You have been listening to so much
Fray and Ellie Goulding I'm
convinced you've turned into a
lesbian.
                                                            
                       WILL
      (Sincere)
You will be happy soon.
                                                            
Mike finally gets the lighter to work and begins to pull a
massive hit in.
                                                            
Mike looks to Dre, then to Monty and Will, he then looks up
into the air, gives a faint smile while still pulling smoke.
Monty, Dre and Will notice the fury of the hit and start
cheering.
                                                            
                       WILL
      (on the verge of
       laughing)
So much smoke!
                                                            

16.

                       DRE
Smoke that shit!
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (excited)
Take it you autistic finger
painting son of a bitch.
                                                            
                       DRE
      (preacher)
Demons I command you to leave this
body!
                                                            
                       WILL
Amen my nigga!
                                                            
Mike begins to furiously inhale the massive cloud of yellow
smoke in the bong until it clears out. Mike holds all the
smoke in for a good 5 seconds before almost suffocating
himself.

Mike manages to cough it all out to the laughter of his
friends. After a good ten seconds of coughing Mike composes
himself. Mike's eyes are bloodshot.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So I just got fired.
                                                            
Everyone cheers and laughs hysterically at Mike.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Dude you need vagina so bad!
                                                            
                       DRE
Waiting tables is one step away
from slavery or homelessness. You
beg people for money like a little
bitch!
                                                            
                       WILL
It's all good brotha, don't worry
about that shitty ass job.
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (depressed)
My life fucking sucks, do you guys
mind if I blow my brains out or
jump feet first into a wood
chipper.
                                                            
                       DRE
Get drunk. Easy.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Yeah dude just binge.
                                                            
                       WILL
Lets burn stuff!
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (excited)
Yeah lets burn shit and get drunk!
Or better yet get drunk and start
            (MORE)

17.

                       MONTY (cont'd)
burning shit!
                                                            
                       MIKE
I love Allie, you guys don't
understand. She was perfect, It's
not like I want to listen to awful
music all day. I feel so alone and
I can't stop thinking about her. I
want her back. I just feel
terrible... I don't know guys. I'm
broken inside.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (mocking)
Listen to yourself, I "FEEL" this
I "FEEL" that you are such a bitch
it's ridiculous. Allie is getting
bent over by an enormous black man
right now, blacker than Dre while
you sit here whining like a bitch.
                                                            
Dre laughs out loud for a second then composes himself.
                                                            
                       WILL
I am sad for you sir.
                                                            
                       MIKE
How do you date a girl and not get
attached? I don't understand.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (hyping Mike up)
It's called being a fuckin man!
Now man up and get your shit ready
to go out and fuck some stupid
whores tonight! Are you ready?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (underwhelmed)
Not really.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (Intense grabbing
       Mike's shirt)
ARE YOU READY ESSE?! YOU READY
COMPADRE! YOU READY MENG!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (a little more
       excited)
Yeah yeah.
                                                            
                       DRE
      (jumps up in
       Mike's face)
ARE YOU READY NIGGA! THIS IS YOUR
NIGHT NIGGA! SCHMOKE SOMETIN
NIGGA!
                                                            
                       WILL
Yeah get crunk, fuck bitches,
America baby!
                                                            

18.

                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DOWNTOWN DC- NIGHTCLUB - NIGHT
                                                            
Loud rap music plays as Mike, Dre, Monty, and Will walk
inside of a vibrant night club. A large number of people are
dancing and having a great time. The dance floor can be seen
with lots of people grinding, a couple kissing, and
eventually pans to Mike who isn't dressed well and looks
extremely high.
                                                            
                       DRE
      (energetic and
       looking around)
Alright let's go talk to some
girls.
                                                            
                       WILL
      (admiring the
       women in the club)
Where to begin? My oh my.
                                                            
                       MONTY
You're finally unleashed back into
the wild Mike, look at all the
girls to choose from.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So what we just go up and hit on
random girls?
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (gives Mike a dumb
       look)
YEAH!
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm not.. Very good at this.
                                                            
                       DRE
Alcohol was invented for this
reason.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So I get drunk, talk to women and
convince them to have sex with me
tonight?
                                                            
                       MONTY
All you gotta do is just keep
drinking what you're drinking and
go with the flow. Comprendo you
filthy hoe?
                                                            
Monty spots a group of four young attractive girls looking
at them.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Alright guys sit tight, I'm going
in.
                                                            
Monty walks toward the girls.
                                                            

19.

                       MIKE
      (concerned)
Oh wow, I just got really nervous
my entire stomach just went into a
huge knot.
      (crosses arms)
                                                            
                       WILL
Relax baby, breathe.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (frustrated)
I feel so awkward right now.
                                                            
                       WILL
Why so awkward?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (drifting off)
I can't stop thinking about Allie.
What if she sees me here? What if
one of her friends sees me?
                                                            
                       DRE
Bro you need to chill the fuck out
and keep drinking. If I hear you
mention that girls name one more
time tonight I'm gonna slap the
shit out of you.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I feel guilty because I know she
wouldn't be going out so soon.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DOWNTOWN DC- NIGHTCLUB (ACROSS THE STREET) - NIGHT
                                                            
Across the street from Mike and friends, Allie is walking
into a nightclub with Shea. They are both dressed very
fashionable and look beautiful.

All of the guys in the club are looking at Allie and the
stunning model Shea.
                                                            
                       ALLIE (v.o.)
      (scans first guy
       she sees)
Hey, you look friendly.
      (The guy gives a
       deep, creepy
       stare)
maybe a little too friendly.
      (scans second guy
       who has weak
       tentative eye
       contact)
Looks scared in this jungle, and I
can't trust a man with shoes so...
Discreet.
      (Sees another guy
       smiling at her
       with bad teeth)
            (MORE)

20.

                       ALLIE (cont'd)
Floss and brush, please.
                                                            
Allie and Shea find a spot at the bar.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Lets get some drinks!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I haven't been out in forever.
This is exciting!
                                                            
Allie tries to get the bartender's attention and pulls some
cash out.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Put that money away. Watch and
learn.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I'll just buy us some, I hate when
guys buy drinks, they always get
weird and act like they deserve to
have sex with you.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (notices two guys
       checking her out)
I think we've found a couple of
buyers.
                                                            
Two Italian American, Jersey Shore esque guido's begin to
approach them.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (notices the two
       guys)
Oh great, Bebop and Rock Steady.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MIKE'S NIGHTCLUB- EDGE OF DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Dre notices Monty walking back with the four attractive
girls.
                                                            
                       DRE
Alright here they come. Put your
game face on Mike.
                                                            
Monty arrives with the four attractive girls.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Guys this is Kate, Sarah, Lindsay,
and Charlene.
                                                            
Everyone exchanges greetings.
                                                            
                       CHARLENE
      (to Mike)
So are you really a famous exotic
dancer?
                                                            

21.

Monty winks at Mike.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (horrified look)
Yeah well actually-
      (is interrupted by
       Dre)
                                                            
                       DRE
      (eye codes his
       friends)
He does nasty, hip bouncing,
private shows for the select few
that are lucky enough to afford
his time.
                                                            
The girls look at each other and laugh.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Do we have to pay or will we get
lucky tonight?
                                                            
                       WILL
      (With a sly look)
I'm a great believer in luck. I
hear the harder you work the more
luck you have.
                                                            
                       DRE
Just take a look at this fine
specimen.
                                                            
Dre grabs Mike's arm and spins him around.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (embarassed)
Yeah I mean I try to work out
sometimes.
                                                            
                       KATE
So what's your favorite song to
strip to?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (sarcastic, trying
       to play along)
Timberlake, "Sexy back". Sometimes
"Rock the Casbah" depending on my
mood.
                                                            
                       MONTY
I thought it was "Light Your Ass
on Fire" by Busta!
                                                            
The four girls look at each other and laugh again. They
whisper to each other for a couple seconds.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Let's see what you got, stripper
boy!
                                                            
The girls all surround Mike and drag him onto the dance
floor. Dre, Will, and Monty follow. Mike is trying to have
fun, and musters up some energy.

22.


Mike boldly does goofy half-assed dance moves. Dre and Monty
step back while Mike and Will dance with the girls.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Like a lamb being thrown into the
wolves den.
                                                            
                       DRE
This is good for him.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Anything is better than hearing
him cry in his room all day and
night. That girl destroyed him
like Rock Johnson destroyed the
Bandits today.
                                                            
Mike does a goofy Charleston dance with his knees.
                                                            
                       MONTY
His knees buckle together so
gracefully.
                                                            
                       DRE
Yo we're going to need more
drinks.
                                                            
                       MONTY
When was the last time we got him
out in the wild?
                                                            
                       DRE
      (thinking)
The real question is... When was
the last time he survived in the
wild?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ALEX'S NIGHTCLUB- BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie, Shea, Bebop and Rocksteady are standing next to the
bar facing each other. Bebop and Rocksteady are both
sporting blow out hair cuts, they are both very arrogant
with an aggressive attitude. The four throw back a round of
shots.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
How are you girls feeling? I feel
great, I feel SO DRUNK!
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
Yeah you girls are in for a treat.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (cautiously
       curious)
What kind of treat?
                                                            

23.

                       BEBOP
You broads get to be with the
illest cats from Jersey. We got
connects, we roll deep baby.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Who do you know?
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
You know my boy Pauly D and
Situation they my brothers I go
way back with those dudes--
                                                            
Rocksteady gets slapped by Bebop before he can finish.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
Don't be lying to these broads!
What he meant to say was he knows
a friend of a friend whose fucked
Pauly D.
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
Yeah that's what I meant to say,
why did ya hit me, ya prick?
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (whispers to Allie)
These two are clowns, let's walk.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Thanks for the drinks guys, I
think we're going upstairs for
some fresh air. See you around.
                                                            
Allie starts to walk past the two, then Bebop grabs her arm.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
We just bought you broads drinks
and you ain't even gonna give us a
dance?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (removes his hand)
Maybe later, bye!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MIKE'S NIGHTCLUB- EDGE OF DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Dre, and Monty are still watching Mike, Will and the girls
dance. Monty notices his drink is empty. Monty shows Dre his
empty drink and walks up to Will.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (whispers to Will)
Yo Will come help us grab some
shots for everyone. Let Mike dance
with these hoes.
                                                            
Monty, Dre, and Will walk off to the bar.
                                                            

24.

The song ends, Mike and the four girls all walk over to
where they were talking before, looking aimlessly for the
guys.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Looking around)
Where did your friends go?
                                                            
                       MIKE
They are probably getting some
drinks.
                                                            
Mike has really weak posture and is fidgeting around.
                                                            
                       SARAH
So what do you do?
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm a stripper?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Haha that was funny but seriously
what do you do?
                                                            
                       MIKE
I actually just got fired from
Buffalo Wing Palace today.
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (laughs to herself)
Sorry to hear that.
                                                            
                       MIKE
You should go on gluttony
Thursday's! All you can eat wing
special, great times. We should
totally meet up sometime.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (completely
       disinterested and
       pulls her phone
       out)
Sounds like fun.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (starts pulling
       out his phone)
Have you ever played Angry bir-
                                                            
Out of seemingly nowhere Rock Johnson who has been patiently
observing, makes his move on the women with a hapless Mike
to defend.

Rock smoothly glides in, not facing the girls directly.
Rock maintains a very confident frame the entire time and
has superb body language.
                                                            
                       ROCK
How long have you all been waiting
for me to come talk to you?
                                                            

25.

The four girls blush, look at each other, and start laughing
at Rock's confidence and bravado. Nobody is aware of the
fact that Rock is the star of the city however.
                                                            
                       ROCK
So girls, I have a question my
good friend and I were discussing.
If someone is looking to buy a
condo in the city, would it be
best to be closer to the
waterfront or further in?
                                                            
The girls laugh and give out different responses split on
waterfront and further in.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I think it would make more sense
to save money and live in the
suburbs.
                                                            
They all give Mike a look of "Who is this guy?".
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (notices Mike)
So who is this fine gentleman? and
which one of these beautiful girls
are you getting frisky with?
                                                            
                       SARAH
This is Mike, and he is a famous
exotic dancer!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (fear stricken)
Well actually--
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Interrupting
       Mike; Ballbusting)
A famous exotic dancer! Oh my God
this is perfect, I know so many
women who are dying for a good
show. I couldn't help but notice
the little Charleston dance you
just did. It was mesmerizing. Are
you an expert in Lindy Hop or are
you just showing off?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Struggling for an
       answer)
I think it just comes to me
naturally most of the time, a lot
of improvisation.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Your attire screams "Slimy Whore"
I love it. Where did you find this
cool shirt? I hear the clearance
rack at Penny's is great for
things like these.
                                                            
The girls all laugh at Rock's quip.
                                                            

26.

                       MIKE
      (deflated and
       frustrated)
OK so I'm dressed like a hobo,
what makes you so special?
                                                            
Rock walks up to Mike's ear and non-threateningly whispers.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (bright smile;
       smooth)
Everything.
                                                            
Rock gives the girls an eye-code of let's ditch this guy.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (bright smile)
You four have to meet my friends,
they are some of the most
interesting and successful
gentlemen I know.
                                                            
The four girls all look at each other, excitedly agree and
begin following Rock as he walks away. Rock between Kate and
Sarah, puts his arms on their shoulders, he turns his head
around and winks at Mike. Mike has an angry deflated look on
his face.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ALEXIS' NIGHTCLUB- UPSTAIRS PATIO - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie and Shea are upstairs at the patio bar on the roof. It
is a very clear and beautiful night outside.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I am buying drinks from now on.
That guy grabbed my arm and called
us broads!
                                                            
                       SHEA
Oh that wasn't bad at all, five
times out of ten a huge fight
breaks out.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (OCD)
You mean half the time.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Yeah whatever.
      (sees Bebop and
       Rock Steady
       approaching)
Oh no here they come.
                                                            
Bebop and Rock Steady are walking to Allie and Shea, but
right before they get to them LUCA MASCERANO(24) and JOHN
CARNEY(23) intercept and block out Bebop and Rock Steady.
Both are dressed very well for the setting, and are very
charismatic in tandem. John is Irish American, while Luca is
Italian American. Both are from rich families.
                                                            

27.

                       LUCA
      (Loud/Charismatic)
John check out this girl's face!
It must be her first time out in a
night club she's terrified.
                                                            
                       JOHN
She looks intense! I don't think
we should talk to these girls.
They look crazy!
                                                            
Bebop and Rocksteady look at each other then walk off,
lurking in the corner for their next opportunity.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (Relieved)
Oh thank God you two came, these
two creeps were following us.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Yeah maybe those creeps were
replaced by these new creeps.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (teasing)
Playing hard to get already?
Jesus!
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (eye contact with
       Shea)
All you hot girls are the same.
Ice cold, drink-vulturing brats!
                                                            
                       LUCA
I know right! I can't believe how
boring hot girls are these days.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
We aren't boring! What makes you
two so great, what do you do?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (raises eyebrow)
I asked you first hotshot.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I am working my way to becoming a
fashion designer.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (gives a silly
       look)
Right on Prada girl.
      (looks to Shea)
And what about you?
                                                            
                       SHEA
I am a model for Elite.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (Not impressed,
       teasing,
       attracting)
Ahahaha you hear that John this
            (MORE)

28.

                       LUCA (cont'd)
chick is elite! Taking shit from
nobody!
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (hilarious
       expression)
Heartbreaker! HEEEARTBREAKER!!
                                                            
Luca and John laugh out loud, Luca leans into John giving
him a fist pound. The girls can't help but laugh.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (grins at Allie
       then turns to
       John)
So John, what is it you do?
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (cocky/funny)
I'm a bona fide gold digger too.
Except I roll up on retirement
homes fishing for old trout. They
enjoy my Sinatra karaoke and my no
nonsense loving. I also enjoy
caviar.
                                                            
The girls laugh.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
No seriously what do you do?
                                                            
                       JOHN
No seriously that is how I make a
living. I also sell large amounts
of cocaine.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
A drug dealer, very reputable.
      (faces Luca)
And what about you?
                                                            
                       LUCA
Have you ever seen a flag-twirling
performance?
      (moves arms around
       as if he's doing
       a flag twirling
       performance)
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (about to laugh)
You can't be serious.
                                                            
                       LUCA
I twirl like those flags when I
launch off a wave with my wake
board.
                                                            

29.

                       ALLIE
      (eyes dilate)
Oh my God that is so cool, I love
wake-boarding!
                                                            
                       LUCA
Yeah well if you thinks it's so
cool then you should come watch my
next tourney.
                                                            
                       JOHN
I go from six to midnight watching
him, it's really amazing.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (smiling)
Maybe I will.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (whispers to Allie)
Let's go to the bathroom.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Hey we have to go to the bathroom.
      (points to John)
Your name is John, if I remember
correctly.
      (looks at Luca)
and what's yours?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (smiling)
Luca, but you can call me Lucifer
for long.
                                                            
Allie laughs and gives Luca a big smile before walking off
to the bathroom with Shea.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MIKE'S NIGHTCLUB- EDGE OF DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is standing by himself with a dumbfounded look on his
face, as Monty, Dre, and Will return with 8 shots. Monty
confused, looks for the girls.
                                                            
                       MONTY
What happened? Where are the
girls?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (feeling guilty)
I have no idea what happened, this
guy just came up and
      (moves hands
       around in goofy
       fashion)
just robbed us clean!
                                                            
                       MONTY
Robbed us clean? You mean robbed
you clean! We were gone for 2
minutes!
                                                            

30.

                       MIKE
He said some stuff, they laughed
like crazy, then he proceeded to
verbally undress me.
                                                            
                       DRE
      (a bit angry)
We leave you here for two minutes!
Did you shit your pants or
something?!
                                                            
                       MIKE
As soon as the girls told him I
was an exotic dancer I didn't
stand a chance.
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (frustrated)
We were so in! Damn it! I had a
feeling this might happen.
      (hands shots to
       Mike)
Here drink up, you earned it.
                                                            
                       WILL
Cheers!
                                                            
Mike and the guys all take a shot. Mike drinks the extra
four shots. He then goes to sit down at the bar by himself
and orders a drink. Mike notices a good looking girl next to
him.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Hey can I buy you a drink?
                                                            
                       ATTRACTIVE GIRL
Yeah sure.
                                                            
Mike hands her a beer and begins speaking with his head
down.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So you wouldn't believe the night
I am having.
      (Notices she
       walked away and
       sighs before
       slowly speaking)
You're welcome.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ALLIE'S NIGHTCLUB- UPSTAIRS BATHROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie and Shea are preening in front of the mirror. Shea
reaches into her purse, pulls out a little coke spoon and
does a bump. She offers Allie.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (uncomfortable)
Oh, no thanks.
                                                            

31.

Allie and Shea walk out of the bathroom, looking for Luca
and John. They turn around to see Bebop and Rocksteady
standing right in front of them.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
      (arms crossed)
So girls, when did you find out
there aren't any other guys here
worth your time?
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
I think you two owe us a dance.
                                                            
Bebop and Rocksteady get uncomfortably close to Allie and
Shea. Luca and John come off screen to interrupt.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (loud
       charismatic/dominant)
Whoa! Look at you girls, we leave
for a second and you already got
new dick!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (slipping behind
       Luca)
Um no these guys have been
following us, we shouldn't have
let them buy us drinks.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
Who do these kids think they are?
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
Looks like they trying to take our
girls.
                                                            
John lifts his right index finger into the air for a second,
then places it in his mouth and makes a disgusted look.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Oh my is that a JERSEY accent I
taste? Every time they speak I get
the urge to take a shower.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
      (getting upset)
Oh you got a problem with Jersey?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (smiling; cool)
John and I know the difference
between cool Jersey cats and
complete douche bags.
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
Yeah and?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (Very frank)
And you two may be the two biggest
douche bags we have ever seen in
our lives.
                                                            

32.

The two girls look at each other and laugh behind Luca and
John.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
      (very serious look)
Douche bags, eh? What makes you
think we won't ice you right now?
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (fearless)
Cause it's hot in this kitchen and
we'd feel bad ruining those fresh
blow out haircuts.
                                                            
People start circling around.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
      (walks right up to
       Luca)
You two are lucky we ain't in
Jersey, cause we'd torture your
punk asses.
      (to Rocksteady)
Come on lets go, these broads are
whores anyways.
                                                            
Bebop and Rocksteady begin walking away.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (mocking irish
       accent/ready to
       fight)
Hey Luca, do you smell the scent
of greasy pussies a driftin in the
wind?
                                                            
Angrily Bebop charges John, swings and misses. Luca
retaliates by pulling Bebop's head into a crushing knee
blow, knocking Bebop down. Then John drives a right handed
haymaker straight into Bebops jaw, knocking him out cold on
the ground. Rocksteady walks up and is frozen in front of
them. Security runs to the scene and the girls intervene.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (to security)
These two protected us from these
two assholes, who kept following
us around, grabbing me, asking us
for a dance. The one on the ground
swung first.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
      (angrily yelling)
You two are dead men, you hear me!
                                                            
Security starts to drag Bebop and Rocksteady out.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (cocky; funny)
Dude must have been tired, he just
laid on the ground and started
sleeping.
                                                            

33.

                       SHEA
      (princess)
You two saved us again, how can we
ever repay you?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (grinning)
Hmmm.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MIKE'S NIGHTCLUB- BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike is sitting at the bar as a defeated Bebop and
Rocksteady come sit down next to him. Mike has about 7 beer
bottles in front of him and is very drunk.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Very drunk
       muttering to
       himself)
I love her, but she hates me. What
do I do.
                                                            
                       BEBOP
Get her really drunk.
                                                            
                       ROCKSTEADY
Yeah get her really drunk then
slip a roofie in her drink.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (blank look)
That's nice.
                                                            
More time passes and the bartenders give out last calls.
Mike is blacked out drunk at this point with his head
planted on the bar.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ALLIE'S NIGHTCLUB- DANCE FLOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
John and Shea are dancing with John doing some really
hilarious and goofy dance moves. Allie and Luca are
passionately dancing, and grinding on the dance floor making
deep eye contact. The two begin kissing.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MIKE'S NIGHTCLUB- BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Will walks up to a face down Mike from the dance floor.
                                                            
                       WILL
Are you OK brotha?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (slurring)
Yeah I'm really good you know.
                                                            

34.

                       WILL
Get some fresh air outside while I
get the guys.
                                                            
                       MIKE
OK.
                                                            
Will helps Mike to his feet before walking away. Mike
stumbles toward the exit.
                                                            
 
EXT. NIGHTCLUB ENTRANCE - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike stumbles outside, muttering to himself. Mike posts up
on the edge of the sidewalk and pulls his phone out to send
Allie a text message. After sending the text, Mike looks up
and sees Rock walking with the four girls he seduced away
earlier. Mike gives Rock a jealous glare.

Mike turns around and looks across the street at people
funneling out of the adjacent nightclub. To his surprise, he
see's Allie walking out looking at her phone with an annoyed
look on her face after seeing his message.

Meanwhile, Rock is leading the girls to a cab. Rock suddenly
has the expression of "Oh I forgot something inside" before
he enters the cab and begins to walk back towards Mike.

Mike has the urge to walk over to Allie, but before he
takes a step, he sees Luca walk out behind her. The sight of
the two together makes Mike so angry he snaps into a furious
rage.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Grinning; mocking)
Hey, you should come dance for the
guys in the locker room, teach
them how to twerk like a
supafreak.
                                                            
Mike turns around with the angriest look on his face. He
drunkenly and incoherently bull rushes Rock.
                                                            
Right before Mike is about to tackle Rock;Rock quickly steps
aside as Mike "Ole's" past him.

With all of his momentum, Mike goes flying and smashes his
head face first into a brick wall behind Rock.

The impact of Mike's head actually breaks some bricks and he
is immediately knocked out. No one had a clear view of what
happened, but a crowd quickly forms around the incident.

OFFICER CRABTREE(36) An eccentric African/American police
officer, with a Dallas Bandits trinket hanging from his
rearview mirror, turns his cruiser's lights on and races as
fast as he can across the street, almost hitting a couple of
bystanders. Officer Crabtree is drunk on duty, bitter he
lost a good deal of money gambling on the game, and being a
Dallas Bandits fan was looking for any opportunity to arrest
Rock.
                                                            

35.

                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (grabs Rock)
You are under arrest nigga! Under
arrest god damnit!
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (innocent)
This is absurd! I have done
nothing officer! This man threw
himself at me!
                                                            
Kate, Sarah, Lindsay, and Charlene come back to see what is
happening.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (to the girls)
You all saw what happened, didn't
you?
                                                            
                       CHARLENE
Umm well we didn't see but-
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Funny angry humor)
Get your filthy pigeons away from
me!
                                                            
The girls walk away dejected.
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Staring the girls
       down as they walk
       away)
That's right bitches, walk away!
These are my streets! I am the
law!
                                                            
Rock resists and knocks officer Crabtree onto the ground.
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
Oh no you didn't!
                                                            
Officer Crabtree immediatley pulls out his pepper spray and
begins spraying it all over Rock's face.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (furious and in a
       lot of pain)
Do you know who I am?! You are
making a big mistake officer!
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
You made the mistake of assault in
the first degree son! Do you know
what that gets you?
      (beat; toned down
       and serious)
That gets you a date with big
Charley down at the pen... No
lubricants. No mercy.
      (even calmer and
       more seirous)
That nigga will assault you in
ways that would make a priest cry!
      (Gets loud again)
            (MORE)

36.

                       OFFICER CRABTREE (cont'd)
You should have never fucked with
me nigga!
                                                            
Officer Crabtree then pulls out his taser and begins to
shock Rock unconscious before handcuffing him and getting
other cops arriving on the scene to help him put Rock into
the back of a police cruiser.
                                                            
Monty, Dre, and Will walk outside and run to Mike's aid.
They gently shake him back to semi-consciousness. Officer
Crabtree walks over To Mike.
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (Softly and nicely)
Were you assaulted son, did this
man unleash his fury on you?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (drunk, dazed and
       semi-conscious
       Lifts his head,
       looks at Rock)
Yeah.
                                                            
                       OFFICER CRABTREE
      (With a gleefull
       smile)
Your ass is mine now nigga! Victim
consent to put you in a
smorgasbord of booty rape!
      (drags Rock toward
       the cruiser)
                                                            
Officer Crabtree raises his arms in the air and cackles
aloud. A first person view from Mike's perspective with
Monty, Dre, and Will above him trying to get him up. Mike
then blacks out again which phases into a dream.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DREAM OF MIKE AND ALLIE - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike dreams hazy memories of him when he was dating Allie.
The first memory of them chatting on an airplane, their
expressions should show laughing and dilated eyes.

The next faded memory shows them having a romantic dinner
together, while walking out to the car, Mike opens Allie's
door like a gentleman, when they sit inside the car a man in
a gorilla suit jumps on their hood then runs off. The two
give each other a weird funny look as if "did that just
happen?!".

The next memory is of the two playing NCAA football video
game. Allie throws a Hail Mary pass into the end-zone as
time expires causing her to jump and celebrate gleefully in
the air, Mike tackles her and they begin making out.

The next short memory shows the two on a hotel balcony
overlooking a beach, very romantic setting. You can read her
lips saying "I'm in love with you". Mike runs up, picks her
up, kissing her passionately and throws her on the bed.

37.


The next memory shows Mike and Allie, dressed up in formal
attire for a very nice party in downtown DC. The two are
with Mike's friends Dre, Monty, and Will, they are all
dancing having a great time partying

The next memory is Mike at Allie's front door with roses
and a gift on valentines day. Allie has a half-excited look
on her face, and forces a smile as they hug.

The next scene is in a almost pitch dark bedroom, with a
naked Mike sitting on the back of a naked Allie giving her a
back massage. Allie turns her head around and says with a
weird look.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (annoyed)
Your balls are like, sweating
profusely all over my back.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (slowly gets off)
Oh my bad. My bad.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ACT 2- MIKE'S HOUSE- MIKE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Inside of Mike's room, the bathroom door is wide open, light
on, with Mike passed out underneath the toilet. He slowly
comes to consciousness, being awoken by his phone going off.
Mike groans very loudly.
                                                            
Mike stumbles over to his bed, and picks his ringing phone
off of the nightstand.
                                                            
Mike quickly opens and closes his phone, then throws it
across the room. He rolls around in bed, writhing in agony
from a severe headache.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (groaning loudly)
What happened to meee fuuuuuck!
                                                            
Mike walks back to his phone to see 36 missed calls from a
random number.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Who the hell keeps calling me?
                                                            
Mike puts the phone in his pocket, walks to the kitchen and
turns on the TV to ESPN's Sports center. While opening the
fridge and grabbing a jug of water ESPN's Scot Van Pelt and
Lindsay Czarniak can be heard giving headlines.
                                                            
                       SVP
Breaking news out of our nations
capital as Rock Johnson was
arrested last night on a charge of
assault. According to the police
report he attacked an innocent
bystander outside of a night club
in downtown Washington DC.
                                                            

38.

The TV has a picture of Rock, but Mike isn't paying
attention, he is completely oblivious to the situation.
                                                            
                       LINDSAY CZARNIAK
This comes at a terrible time for
Rock and the Washington Warriors
after their thrilling season
opening victory over their rival
the Dallas Bandits. The NFL will
not take this charge lightly and
he is very likely to be suspended
for a significant amount of time.
                                                            
Mike swigs some water, and swishes it around. Monty wakes up
and sits up on the couch.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So what happened last night?
                                                            
                       MONTY
You got our hero locked up last
night you fuck!
                                                            
                       MIKE
What?
                                                            
Mike's phone starts ringing again. He answers it.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (on phone)
Hello?
                                                            
                       ROCK
There he is! The man of the hour!
The man of my dreams! Wake up you
son of a bitch!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Who is this?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Lets cut the shit! I need you to
go to the police station and tell
them the truth.
                                                            
                       MIKE
What truth? What the hell is this
all about?
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (jumps up off the
       couch and tries
       to grab the phone
       from Mike)
Is that Rock! ROCK I LOVE YOU! My
friend is a loser piece of shit he
didn't mean what happened!
                                                            
Mike pushes Monty away and scurries into his bedroom and
locks the door behind him. Monty continues singing Rock's
praises and bangs on Mike's bedroom door.
                                                            

39.

                       ROCK
Your dumb ass jumped after me and
busted your head into the wall. I
got arrested for doing nothing.
                                                            
                       MIKE
What are you talking about? Why
would I jump after you? I've never
even been in a fight before. Why
would I attack a professional
football player? You know what I
think? I think-
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Shouting)
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!
This is my goddamn last season
before retiring! Your candy ass
bandit fan havin bullshit thinks
you can get away with this
horseshit!
                                                            
                       MIKE
You know what? Screw you, I don't
give a shit about football or your
career. Goodbye.
                                                            
Mike hangs up the phone, and Monty is still banging on his
door.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Don't do this Mike! DON'T RUIN OUR
SEASON!
                                                            
Mike sits down on his bed with his head slumped in his head.
Still in agony from the previous night. Mike's phone rings
again.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (answers his phone)
What?
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (trying to be calm)
Alright look kid, I'm sorry for
yelling at you before. Obviously
my final season means a lot to me.
What can I do to get you to drop
this charge? I need to be on that
field with my brothers.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I don't know what I want, I hate
my life right now.
                                                            
                       ROCK
How about 50 large? You can get
yourself some decent clothes, some
dance lessons, some nice booze to
sip on.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (pauses and thinks
       before answering)
Honestly I don't even care about
            (MORE)

40.

                       MIKE (cont'd)
money right now. I just want my
girl back.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Son! You can take that 50 grand
and buy yourself all sorts of
girls, you can get whores out the
ass, midget whores whatever the
hell you're into. Shit I'll even
throw in one of those fancy
Japanese fuck robots.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I don't want a fuck robot. I wan't
my girl back. Besides if you gave
me money you would probably get
caught for it and into more
trouble.
                                                            
                       ROCK
So you want your girl back. That's
all? What do you want me to do
about it?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (barely sobbing)
Just help me out. I need help.
Help me, help you.
                                                            
                       ROCK
What you want to be my agent now?
You Jerry McGuire havin pile of
shit! Tell me how I can help you?!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (sobbing)
I don't know Rock... I don't know.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Are you crying? Jesus almighty you
are a train wreck kid...
      (feels sympathy)
Alright I'll help you out. Meet me
at the Elite Sportsplex in Ashburn
at 3 O'clock, lets figure this
out.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (sobbing)
Ok.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX- PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Mike slowly walks up to Rock in the parking lot.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (points at Mike)
Oh there he is! The asshole who
got me arrested!
      (looks offscreen
       away from Mike)
            (MORE)

41.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
Boys get him!
                                                            
Mike's nerves tense up as he jumps a little, swiveling his
head, scanning for any blindside attacks.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Ah I'm just fuckin with ya!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (relieved)
Jesus!
                                                            
                       ROCK
Look at you, poor bastard. Turning
down money for a girl that
probably doesn't even like you.
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Love doesn't carry a dollar
amount.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (serious tone)
You realize you're blackmailing
me.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Technically I'm asking you for
help.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (calm; places arm
       on Mike's
       shoulder)
You don't understand, I must break
you for us to move on.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Break me?
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (Serious)
If I'm going to help you I want
you to be completely honest about
everything we talk about. Can you
do that for me?
                                                            
                       MIKE
Why?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Because only honesty will purge
this... Pathetic thing you call an
ego.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX- PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            

42.

5 MINUTES LATER.
                                                            
Mike has a face full of tears, and snot is hanging from his
nose. He is sitting on the edge of the track. While crying
and sniffling he manages to mumble out.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (pat's Mike's back)
I popped your emotional cherry,
get used to it. You're soft as
baby shit and must be broken
before you can learn anything.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (makes a sad groan)
Mmmmmnnnhhh!
                                                            
                       ROCK
Chin up boy!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
2 MINUTES LATER.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Are you ready now?
                                                            
                       MIKE
I feel nothing.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (patting Mike on
       the back)
Deep breaths, there you go, you
big dreamer you. Come on now get
up, lets take a little jog.
                                                            
Rock grabs Mike's arm and pulls him up to start walking
toward an outdoor track nearby.
                                                            
                       ROCK
There you go kiddo.
                                                            
Rock and Mike make it to the track and begin jogging.
                                                            
                       ROCK
If I were to tell you that I think
you are a pussy-whipped bitch, how
would you respond?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (thinking)
I would say. You're probably
right.
                                                            
On the track running is TUNA(26) he is an extremely obese
man. He is completely covered in sweat, his eyes are closed
and head is down, he makes really loud grunting sounds and
flails his arms up and down in very awkward fashion. Both
Mike and Rock glance at him shortly and continue their
conversation.
                                                            

43.

                       ROCK
That is exactly the weak mentality
you have to drop.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (frustrated)
I don't get it. We were so in
love. How can women change their
mind and stick with it like it's
nothing. Like nothing ever
happened?
                                                            
                       ROCK
You don't understand women at all
do you? That statement you just
made sounds like the opposite of
what a woman would do. Which leads
me to believe that you in fact may
be a woman.
                                                            
                       MIKE
You probably have never been in a
situation like this so you
wouldn't understand.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Lets run a few laps, and tell me
more about this great love you
speak of.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX TRACK - DAY
                                                            
Mike and Rock are walking on the track side by side. Rock is
laughing at Mike's pathetic love story. Rock is laughing and
wiping tears from his eyes.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You are so perfectly pathetic! Oh
god this is great. So let me get
this straight.
      (looks Mike in the
       eyes)
After seducing her with the movie
Transformers, you prematurely
ejaculated after 2 minutes of sex?
                                                            
                       MIKE
Give or take a few seconds.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You laughed out loud with her for
10 minutes after she cracked a
joke on how it was the best sex of
her life.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Well I mean the timing was great.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You try and play a video game for
a living? You never have money and
you spend all your time playing
            (MORE)

44.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
video games.
                                                            
                       MIKE
If I win the biggest tournament I
could win a million dollars.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (sighs)
You just don't get it, you don't
get it at all. Wow I don't even
know where to begin.
                                                            
Tuna runs by them again panting very loudly.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Drop the idea of this Allie for a
second, and try and think really
hard of what your ideal girl is,
what is she like.
                                                            
Mike thinks deeply. The two continue slowly walking then
come to a stop.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Allie. She's honestly perfect for
me.
                                                            
                       ROCK
I'm going to need you to unplug
your penis from your asshole for
just a minute. Imagine if Allie
never existed, who would you
ideally want to fuck.
                                                            
                       MIKE
It's not just about fucking, it's
about a connection. But to answer
your question, she would be
beautiful of course, soft light
brown hair. She would have to be
funny, and good at vibing with
people. She would be really smart
too, and play video games with me.
                                                            
Rock gives Mike a dumb look.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You want a unicorn, you want a
woman that doesn't exist and even
if she did she wouldn't stay with
you for more than a week.
                                                            
                       MIKE
That's why I want Allie back. She
was the closest thing to a unicorn
I could find.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Unbelievable, give it up, this
girl is long gone.
                                                            

45.

                       MIKE
Deep down I just know we will end
up together again. I feel it deep
down in my heart.
                                                            
                       ROCK
So you really think you're in love
with this girl?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Truly believes)
Yes. I really want to-
                                                            
                       ROCK
Shut your mouth! I don't need any
more extra curricular shit
confusing me.
                                                            
Rock thinks quietly for a few seconds.
                                                            
                       ROCK
What you need to do is go out,
meet a good six or seven new women
over the next month and sleep with
all of them. If you still think of
this Allie after that, then you
truly do love her and aren't some
pussy-whipped bitch like I think
you are.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I can't do that.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Or I can still buy you that sex
robot. You got to work with me
here, I really need to play this
season.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Ok, so I sleep with a bunch of
women, how am I supposed to do
that?
                                                            
                       ROCK
I hate to say it, but you have
potential.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Thanks, I appreciat-
                                                            
                       ROCK
Shut your mouth you punk ass
child. Now listen to me, that
potential is no better than..
      (points to Tuna
       running)
The mummy over here making the cut
for the triathlon. So you better
be prepared to work.
                                                            
Tuna runs by them again, arms flailing and all.
                                                            

46.

                       ROCK
Physically you need to reshape
your body by running and lifting
weights a minimum of five days a
week, get 30 pounds less fat as
soon as possible.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Ok.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Never dance again. Your filthy
feet have got no rhythm.
Seriously, unless you get
professional lessons, just don't
do it. If you have no choice keep
it to basic mirroring motions,
nothing more.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Fair enough.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Mentally you have to visualize
yourself as being the top dog.
NEVER qualify or justify why you
did or didn't do anything, it
makes you look like a chump.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (defensive)
But I only acted that way because
I was-
                                                            
Rock gives Mike an angry glare.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Ok Ok! No justifying! Got it.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (gets excited)
God damn it Mike, I will teach you
what it is to be a real man. By
the time I am through with you,
this Allie will be nothing more
than crusty bed sheets from a
weird wet dream.
                                                            
Mike's eyes light up, he believes.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (points to the
       track)
Its now time to run you boy! Oh
boy were running!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. MONTAGE ON THE ELITE SPORTSPLEX FIELD - DAY
                                                            
Rock walks up and smiles at Mike. Rock begins a tenacious
workout with Mike. Pump up music is played.


47.

Mike is running on a football field, then suddenly Rock goes
flying by him with a parachute attached to his back.

Rock is doing agility drills with Mike and Tuna, Rock uses a
tennis ball while doing a T drill. Rock and Tuna collide
into each other, with Tuna falling on top of him.

They transition into quickness drills, hopping left and
right, Rock repeatedly bounces a tennis ball under Corey's
feet causing him to high step and hop around. Rock then
begins hopping around Mike, out "quicking" him, he keeps
repeating "I'm a quickie quick you" while circling Mike.
Mike, trying to keep up the intensity of the workout is
sweating profusely. Eventually he grunts out "NOOOOO", he
cowers down and starts vomiting. Tuna is in the background
gyrating a hula-hoop, which turns into a humping motion.

The song dies out, Mike and Tuna are slowly limping towards
the exit with Rock trailing them. Rock runs up to Tuna,
gives him a high-five and shoulder bump.
                                                            
                       ROCK
WOO! That's how you sweat baby!
You best be out tomorrow, don't
you give up on me big tuna fish!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (completely
       exhausted)
I haven't puked like that. since
my 21st birthday.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Feels good doesn't it.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (breathing heavy)
Should have... taken the money...
                                                            
Mike and Rock are slowly walking to the parking lot.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (patting Mike on
       the back)
Before we go out tonight you need
new clothes. Go to the mall and
wait for my friend Clarence. Then
call me when you're done.
                                                            
                       MIKE
How will I know who to look for?
                                                            
                       ROCK
You will know when you see him,
trust me.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTISDE THE MALL - DAY
                                                            
Mike is waiting outside of a department store anxiously
looking at his watch.
                                                            

48.

                       MIKE
Where is this guy?
                                                            
The camera focuses on CLARENCE WEDDLE(Mid forties). Clarence
is a highly fashionable, flamboyant, gay man. Like Tang he
is a renowned fashion designer, and he has a little
chihuahua in a handbag. Clarence approaches Mike with a very
feminine walk.
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
      (Bright smile, and
       waves)
Hey beautiful!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Hey. Clarence right?
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
      (gives a very
       feminine
       handshake)
Pleased to meet you Mike. Rock
told me about your situation, and
I think it is so adorable. I would
LOVE to help you out!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Thanks Clarence, I really
appreciate it.
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
      (scans his face
       and body)
Look at your features! So cute! Oh
my this will be easy. You are
going to look F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S!
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE- WARDROBE MONTAGE - DAY
                                                            
Clarence and Mike are inside the department stores dressing
room. First Clarence dresses him in a flamboyantly gay
looking outfit. Mike walks like a fashion model in front of
Clarence who begins to laugh out loud, jumping up and down.
Mike gives a terrified look, and walks back to the dressing
room. Clarence has him try on a preppy look, he gives a
dissatisfied look and Mike walks back to try on another
outfit.

Next Mike comes out in a ghetto outfit, real baggy with a
skull cap. Clarence shakes his head in dissatisfaction.

The fourth outfit is Mike dressed in only a thong and a long
pearly necklace. Clarence gives a perverted look, and puts
his pinkie to his lip as Mike walks back into the dressing
room.

The fifth and final outfit will be the perfect combination
of style and class. Clarence is satisfied with the look and
Mike gives a gleeful smile as the process has finally ended.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

49.

EXT. DOWNTOWN ARLINGTON- PATIO BAR - DAY
                                                            
Beautiful twilight colors grace the sky in downtown
Arlington as Mike is walking toward Rock. Rock is sitting
down at a cocktail table outside of a nice restaurant. Rock
is wearing sunglasses and a hoodie, disguising himself from
attracting attention. Rock scans Mike's new clothes up and
down. Multiple Beautiful women are consistently walking by
them.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (admiring the new
       clothes)
You don't look like a hobo
anymore, congratulations.
      (shakes Mike's
       hand)
                                                            
                       MIKE
Thanks.
                                                            
Two extremely attractive women are waiting for the light to
change to walk across the street in the path of Rock and
Mike.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (nods head towards
       the women)
The beauty of a woman can paralyze
even the most charming of men.
Mike I want you to get their
attention before they walk past
us.
                                                            
The light changes and the women start to walk across the
street.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (petrified)
This is ridiculous! What do I even
say? Don't put me on the spot like
this!
                                                            
The two girls walk closer laughing and talking to one
another. Mike becomes extremely nervous and insecure. Mike
is petrified as they come closer, so Rock takes off his
glasses and stares daggers into Mike's eyes forcing him to
do something.

As the two women approach, Mike starts to reach out and
attempt to tap one of their shoulders. His high chair tips
over and as he falls over, grabs onto the top of her bra.
accidentally pulling her bra down exposing her breast while
falling hard onto the ground.
                                                            
Tense Beat as the girl composes herself.
                                                            
                       ATTRACTIVE GIRL
      (terrified look)
What the fuck, you pervert
asshole!
                                                            

50.

                       MIKE
      (With a face of
       terror)
Oh my God I am so so-
                                                            
The girl slaps Mike and storms off with her friend.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (laughing and
       clapping aloud)
Bravo, Bravo! That was smooth,
real smooth. I was going to
suggest saying hi, something
simple, something charming, but
you went ahead and pulled a titty
out.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (heart racing;
       smiling; relieved)
That was bad wasn't it? That was
pretty bad.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Bad yes, but great for taser and
mace sales.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Why did you put me on the spot
like that?
                                                            
                       ROCK
You have no confidence, you build
it by doing things that make you
feel uncomfortable. Just leave the
titties alone until you get her in
bed you sex fiend.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ARLINGTON- INSIDE LOCAL BAR - DAY
                                                            
Mike and Rock are now sitting inside of a local bar, a
waiter walks up and drops off a couple of drinks.
                                                            
                       ROCK
I haven't known you very long, but
as far as I can tell, you are as
sensitive as a clitoris.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm not that bad. I'm not that
wound up.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You're as wound up as Jerry
Sandusky at a Chucky Cheese.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Oh come on, what am I supposed to
do? Not feel anything?
                                                            

51.

                       ROCK
It's called being a man. There is
only one time you can act
vulnerable and weak around women.
                                                            
                       MIKE
When is that?
                                                            
                       ROCK
In your coffin when you're fucking
dead!
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       MIKE
How do you see it with women? Help
me understand what you know. You
are stone cold.
                                                            
Rock thinks for a moment.
                                                            
                       ROCK
I'm not stone cold son, I'm hot
fire!
                                                            
                       MIKE
You're something else, I've never
met anyone like you, please tell
me what you know.
                                                            
                       ROCK
My father taught me a valuable
lesson on women some time ago, so
pay attention.
                                                            
                                         FADE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HYPOTHETICAL NIGHT CLUB - NIGHT
                                                            
The setting of a hypothetical night club with people walking
around in slow motion. Attractive girls are everywhere. The
song "Feels" by Calvin Harris plays.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
Imagine you are a fisherman out in
the open sea.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
Ok.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
As a man, you hold the hook.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
What does my hook look like right
now?
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
Right now your hook is dull,
rusty, crusty, and stained with
squid guts. Your attraction skills
are trash.
                                                            

52.

Mike appears in a hypothetical night club, he has a sheepish
grin on his face and is dressed terribly, a couple
attractive girls walk by him checking him out and turn their
noses up.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
The sea is full of fish to catch,
from beautiful blue marlin
darlins, to nasty little grouper
groupies.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
Allie is a sexy dolphin.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
The bait you see... Clarence
helped you with the bait. The
appearance of looking like you
have your shit together. Working
out and toning your body is also
key.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
Right.
                                                            
Mike's clothes instantly change to being the great outfit
Clarence picked for him.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
So you cast yourself out into the
sea, and the fish come to play.
When a fish nibbles a little and
decides to bite, it's on.
                                                            
The same two girls walk by Mike but this time they give a
different look, a look of interest, and one of the girls
smiles and winks at him as she walks by.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
What's on?
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
The chase, the struggle, the part
where you reel her in. Now this is
the most important part, so pay
attention.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
I'm listening.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
While she is on your hook she is
observing, testing, and fighting
against it. The tension on the
line is the key to reeling her in.
The tension of your line.
                                                            
Mike approaches the attractive girl who winked at him and is
engaging her.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
Tension of the line?
                                                            

53.

                       ROCK (vo)
If you reel too fast, she will
fight it and the line will break.
                                                            
Mike is seen staring at the girls breasts as she is talking
to him, she notices, gives a concerned look. Mike looks up,
makes horny/creepy eye contact with the girl as if he just
got out of a ten year prison sentence, then mouth's the
words "Let's fuck" to her, she slaps him and storms off.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
Too slow, she becomes bored, and
will slip off the hook.
                                                            
The girl re-appears in front of Mike, this time he is slowly
talking, he appears very nervous and stiff. The girl looks
entirely bored looking around, she spots a friend, shakes
Mike's hand and walks off.
                                                            
                       MIKE (vo)
Right right, like acting too
desperate, or being too aloof.
                                                            
                       ROCK (vo)
If you maintain genuine tension
over a period of time the fish
will give in.
                                                            
The girl re-appears again, but this time Mike is engaging
her, making her laugh, it seems like the girl is having the
time of her life. After the girl laughs really hard, Mike
smoothly looks at his watch, as if he has somewhere to go.
He pulls his phone out to get the girls number to which she
gladly enters her number.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ARLINGTON- INSIDE OF A LOCAL BAR - DAY
                                                            
                       MIKE
It took three months of reeling
before Allie gave in. How am I
supposed to get all these girls in
three months? How can you be the
least bit genuine sleeping with
that many women so fast?
                                                            
                       ROCK
It took three months because you
lack understanding of tension.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I don't like the idea of being so
sexual with a girl I just met.
                                                            
The waitress walks up to their table unsure if she should
interrupt and ask for their order.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Please, go ahead and deny to my
face that you didn't want to take
that girl by the hips and
      (vibrates his
       pelvis in a
            (MORE)

54.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
       jackhammer sex
       position)
jackhammer the living bejesus out
of her as soon as you saw her.
                                                            
The waitress scurries away.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smirks)
Yeah maybe... But-
                                                            
                       ROCK
So you can do it your way which
takes three months, or you can do
it my way which takes three hours.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So what do I do when I catch the
fish?
                                                            
                       ROCK
You either release it back into
the sea like a good sport, only
after taking a few good pictures
of course.
      (big grin)
or you keep it in a fish tank and
take care of it.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Fish tank... So you buy a house to
live happily ever after in?
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (fast paced rant)
No, you see, the fish tank is your
mental capacity to deal with the
woman. You see, some guys like you
are lucky and manage to stuff a
big fish into their tiny fish bowl
of a brain. When the big fish
realizes it feels trapped in a
shitty little bowl it starts to
squirm out.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (intrigued)
Then what?
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (fast paced rant)
The frustrated fisherman starts
pandering to the fish's needs,
feeding it to make it happy, but
it keeps growing and growing and
shitting all over the place. Right
about when the pathetic fisherman
decides he loves the fish so much
he wants to eat the fish, and I
mean EAT FISH all day.
      (Rock makes a
       vagina licking
       gesture with his
       fingers)
            (MORE)

55.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
The sucker will panic and break
the bowl into pieces, flopping
violently around in the boat
fucking everything up, eventually
making it back out to sea,
sometimes taking your best mate
with her.
                                                            
Beat. Mike understands the metaphor.
                                                            
                       MIKE
She broke my fishbowl.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You even grabbed onto her slimy
tail as she frantically flopped
off the boat, and you were nearly
dragged down into the abyss.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (perturbed)
What happens in the abyss?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Your head gets so full of pressure
that it explodes, you kill
yourself.
                                                            
                       MIKE
What about the girls you stole
from me the other night?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Guppies, anchovies, dime a dozen.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (excited)
What about a big fish, how long
does it take for you to reel in a
big fish?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Most of them want to be caught, if
your line is strong enough, and
the tension is right, you can yank
a big fish in a single pull.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So if I want to catch Allie again?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Polish that hook! Cast the best
bait in the right spots. Become a
fisher of women. A master angler
with an aquarium of a mind!
                                                            
Mike stands up in excitement.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Aquaman!!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

56.

INT. ARLINGTON- INSIDE A LOCAL BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Dance music plays as Rock and Mike are seen approaching
every set of girls in the bar. Rock is taking a backseat,
mentoring approach listening in on Mike. After three failed
attempts in quick succession, Rock pulls Mike aside.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Have you listened to a single word
I've been saying?
                                                            
                       MIKE
Well yeah it's jus-
                                                            
                       ROCK
Stop being a creep and give them
that swagger they are dying for.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (flustered)
I am getting shot down left and
right here! How do I give them the
swagger?!
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (shaking Mike)
Relax! Get out of your head! Hold
the line damn you! Hold the line!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (befuddled)
This isn't a football game or war.
This is me being scared of
approaching women, it's completely
different.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (serious)
It's not different and I'll tell
you why. I am only going to tell
you this once so listen carefully.
Life is one big series of
different games, and each game we
play is a competition. Whether it
be a football game, a date with a
beautiful woman, or even whatever
stupid computer game you play. You
may not realize it, but you either
win or lose at all of life's
games. When you lose your computer
game do you feel good about it?
Does talking to these women with a
lame attitude and getting shut
down feel good?
                                                            
                       MIKE
No, it feels pretty bad actually.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (serious/inspiring)
When I lost Super Bowl LV I felt
so shitty, I was depressed for
months, I wanted to hang it up
right then and there. But you know
what I realized that when I do win
            (MORE)

57.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
that big one, I will be fulfilled,
I will be complete. The harder the
game, the more fulfilled you will
be, the more your self confidence
will be built. You can go through
life with a mopey weak mindset and
you're gonna lose at everything,
and you're going to be a sad sack
of shit. You grab life by the
balls goddamnit! You play to WIN
this motherfucking game! You take
the good with the bad and the bad
with the good, but if you aren't
giving your best effort in these
games life gives you, I
guaran-goddamn-tee you will regret
it. Find that inner lion and
become the beast you are supposed
to be!
                                                            
Rock notices Jamie Johnson, the girl whose family was one of
Mike's tables the day he was fired from Buffalo Wing Palace.
She keeps looking at Mike.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Beyonce' is checking you out at 3
o'clock, and she wants a mother
fucking soldier! She needs a man
to stand up for her, and only
carries big things if you know
what I mean!
                                                            
Rock pushes Mike toward Jamie and Mike approaches with much
better body language, he is inspired by what Rock just told
him. The song "Redbone" by Childish Gambino plays.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (cocky; funny)
Are you this forward with every
guy at the bar?
                                                            
                       JAMIE
I didn't mean to stare, I just
thought I recognized you.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (recognizes her
       and blushes)
Oh my God! You were at that table!
I felt so embarrassed! I thought
your mom was gonna knock me the
fuck out!
                                                            
                       JAMIE
You had me laughing so hard to
myself. I thought... What has this
white boy just said!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (laughing, teasing)
Sometimes being indirectly racist
is a good thing I guess? I wasn't
even trying to play games with
            (MORE)

58.

                       MIKE (cont'd)
you!
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (laughs)
Playing games with a random girl
you have never met? Now why would
you want to go and do that?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (looks directly
       into Jamie's eyes)
Because it's the right thing to
do. God forbid I meet a beautiful
girl such as yourself.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (blushes)
Thanks.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (whispers into
       Mike's ear)
That's more like it.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
Whose the cool guy wearing
sunglasses at night? Is he jealous
we're talking? Why do I feel like
I recognize him?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (cocky/funny)
He's a nobody really, he hangs
around me because I help him get
outside, he's a big video game
nerd.
                                                            
Jamie laughs. and Rock gives Mike a funny look and grins.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smiling at Jamie)
You got a certain something about
you that I like.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
How is that? You just met me?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (cocky/funny)
Because you're always laughing at
what I say, making me feel good
about myself.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (whispers)
Dance floor now.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (notices Jamie's
       nails were just
       done and grabs
            (MORE)

59.

                       MIKE (cont'd)
       her hand)
So miss "just got her nails did",
I can't take a girl seriously
unless she's a halfway decent
dancer.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (laughs)
Halfway decent?
                                                            
Jamie grabs Mike's hand and starts to drag him to the dance
floor. Mike looks at Jamie's curvy backside then looks back
at Rock with a sheepish look. The two walk to the middle of
the dance floor, Mike is doing a lot better dancing with
Rock's basic advice of mirroring.

Mike and Jamie are having a great time dancing together.
Rock is entertaining all of Jamie's friends, telling a
story, making them all laugh.

Time fast forwards as the two are talking, and getting more
intimate. By the end of the night, the two are kissing,
taking multiple shots together, and start to walk out of the
bar together. Rock winks at Mike as he is walking out and
does a hand expression that says "Call me".
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. JAMIE'S HOUSE- JAMIE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
A blurry montage ensues where Mike is in Jamie's bedroom. It
is unclear as to what exactly is going on because the two
are so drunk. The scene fades to darkness as Mike falls
asleep in Jamie's bed.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DREAM- MIKE'S HOUSE- MIKE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
The setting is in Mike's bedroom. Mike and Allie can be seen
with argumentative faces. Mike has a very emotional
expression.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Don't give me, "I don't know". You
do know!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I don't know.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I have been scared from day one
that you were gonna do this to me.
I loved you, and trusted you.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (getting emotional)
Yeah and?!
                                                            

60.

                       MIKE
And there's nothing I could do
about it, I am at your mercy day
in and day out.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I am not that merciless.
                                                            
The two share a serious stare for a moment.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Sarcastically
       angry)
I have told you for the last time
to put the god damn toilet seat up
and you never fucking do it!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Oh! Really Mike! Is that what this
is all about! Don't duck and run,
come at me, what do you got?!
                                                            
                       MIKE
You manipulate me like Satan
possessing Pinocchio.
                                                            
Beat as Allie thinks of a response.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Yeah well when Pinocchio lies his
nose gets bigger.
      (grabs Mike's
       crotch)
not his dick.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (bickering)
First you tell me don't duck and
run, now all you want is to fuck
and cum?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (takes hand off
       Mike's crotch)
Fine!
      (begins to walk
       off)
                                                            
                       MIKE
Don't you walk away from me,
Allie! I'm not finished!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (turns around)
Not finished? Oh right that only
takes two minutes. I guess I have
time.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (Looks at his bed)
You are so OCD about cleaning,
it's like!
      (messes up his
       made bed, grabs a
       pillow and throws
            (MORE)

61.

                       MIKE (cont'd)
       it)
Fuck! The pillows aren't going to
run away!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (begins remaking
       the bed, very
       hastily)
You are a terrible bedmaker and
you always have been!
                                                            
                       MIKE
You Febreeze the bathroom so much,
I go through life missing the
scent of my own shit.
                                                            
Beat.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Yeah well you know what else
you're going to miss? The smell of
my Febreeze apple cinnamon shit.
Get a fucking job, asshole!
      (begins storming
       off)
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (defensive)
I never want to be some corporate
crony stuck at a glass ceiling.
You 4.0 students wouldn't
understand.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (is furious)
Yeah what I don't understand is
why I have wasted so much time
dating a loser.
      (walks offscreen)
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (on the verge of
       crying)
Damn.
                                                            
                                         DISSOLVE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. JAMIE'S HOUSE- JAMIE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mike wakes up next to Jamie. Quietly gets up and somehow
stumbles his way down the hall into the bathroom. He unzips
his pants and begins to urinate with his head on the wall,
he can hear people rustling about downstairs.

Mike is so dehydrated while peeing he gets a woozy look on
his face. He sways back and forth while mumbling
incoherently to himself.

Before Mike can finish urinating, he faints. Mike collapses
and violently falls into the bathtub.

While falling down, Mike's head smashes off the soap

62.

holder. Mike is knocked out, pants down, lying in the tub
with blood trickling from his head.
                                                            
Jamie's 5 year old sister bursts into the bathroom first, to
see Mike with his pants down, bloodied forehead, lying in
the tub and starts screaming. Jamie's mother Wanita bursts
into the bathroom.
                                                            
                       WANITA
      (With wide eyes)
OH HELL NO! JAMIE! GET IN HERE
RIGHT NOW!
                                                            
                       JAMIE'S SISTER
      (Staring at Mike's
       penis)
Mommy what is that! It looks
like...
      (makes a funny
       scrunched up face
       of fear)
AHHHHH!!!!!
                                                            
Jamie bursts into the bathroom.
                                                            
                       WANITA
      (covers her
       daughters eyes)
Baby, mommy wants you to go to
your room.
      (disciplinary look)
I think Jamie has some explaining
to do.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (With a look of
       disbelief)
Oh wow.
                                                            
Mike regains consciousness, looks up with a dazed look on
his face and says
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (incoherently
       mumbling)
I think we should be just friends,
like you a lot but I don't know
where this is going.
                                                            
Mike passes out of consciousness.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ALLIE'S HOUSE- ALLIE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Allie and Luca are in Allie's bedroom. The two are upstairs
sitting down on the edge of her bed. Luca only has boxers
on, while Allie is in her bra and panties. They are both
putting clothing on, one piece at a time.

The two are in mid-conversation. Allie's has an inquisitive
expression. Luca, shows a bit of an arrogant attitude.
                                                            

63.

                       ALLIE
So you're telling me you own the
franchise?
                                                            
                       LUCA
Not officially, but when my great
grand-mother, my grandpa, and then
my dad all die. I will be the man.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
So you are basically Hank
Steinbrenner's kid.
                                                            
                       LUCA
I like to think of myself as more
of a young Jerry Jones, not quite
senile yet.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
That is so awesome, I love the
Portland Platypuses.
      (cheers with her
       right arm)
Goooo Pussies!
                                                            
                       LUCA
You should love them. They always
win, something that is contagious
around me.
                                                            
Allie is a little turned off by Luca's arrogance and quickly
changes the subject.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Question. So I was wondering. How
many girls have you slept with?
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (not taking
       seriously)
All of them, except for the ones
that blew a rape whistle, those
ones got away.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Seriously, how many.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Seriously, how many stars are in
the sky?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (gives a weird
       look)
You are a man whore aren't you.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (angry)
Shut your mouth OK?! Don't ask me
questions that are intentionally
aimed at setting me up for some
bullshit argument.
                                                            

64.

                       ALLIE
      (puts head down, a
       bit shaken)
OK sorry.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. TANG'S STUDIO- ALLIE'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Allie is sitting at her desk working on something. Tang
walks into her office without knocking startling her. She
grabs some papers and stacks them together.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
This is everything you need, all
neat and organized.
                                                            
Allie hands the papers to Tang. Tang curiously inspects for
any mistakes. He thinks he finds something wrong, then
quickly catches himself while thumbing through the stack.
                                                            
                       TANG
You are good Allie, very good!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
It's a pleasure doing work for
you.
                                                            
                       TANG
You have done such good work, you
probably think you deserve a
reward.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Oh no sir, I am happy the way
things are, I wouldn't expect
anything.
                                                            
Tang walks around behind Allie.
                                                            
                       TANG
Well you do, and I have decided to
invite you to come along with me
to Clarence's big party.
                                                            
Allie becomes overwhelmed with excitement.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Clarence Weddle?! Are you
serious!? Thank you so much, I
would love to go!
                                                            
                       TANG
You deserve it. You sexy young
thang!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
So I was wondering and I hope you
don't mind me asking... But are
you and Clarence dating?
                                                            
Tang walks to the exit and turns back around to Allie.
                                                            

65.

                       TANG
I wouldn't exactly call it dating.
Clarence is the reason Tang has
disobedient eyeball!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. JAMIE'S HOUSE- JAMIE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mike wakes up from being knocked out on Jamie's bed.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
      (Shaking Mike)
Wake up!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (grabs head)
Where am I? What happened? I'm
gonna get CTE if I keep doing
this.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
You fell into my bathtub while
peeing, and your head broke off my
soap holder.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (rubs temples in
       circles/disoriented)
I peed on you and we had sex in
the bathtub?
                                                            
Jamie laughs out loud to herself.
                                                            
                       JAMIE
Not quite... You had a lot to
drink last night. You don't even
remember what happened last night
do you?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (has a dumb look
       on face)
Ummmmm.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX TRACK - DAY
                                                            
Mike can be seen walking toward Rock slowly. After a few
seconds he is within talking distance. When Mike reaches
Rock, they begin walking toward the track. Like a coach,
Rock points to the track, and Mike gives a frustrated look.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Look, I am not here to baby your
ass and let you feel good about
yourself. Get running!
                                                            
Mike and Rock begin jogging together on the track.
                                                            

66.

                       ROCK
Tell me what happened with that
girl Jamie. I want a full progress
report.
                                                            
The two can be seen running around the track with Tuna
trailing a few paces behind them.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Everything was going good. We were
hooking up and then the time came
and I couldn't get it up. I drank
too much.
                                                            
                       ROCK
It was because she was black
wasn't it?! You limp dicked racist
bigot!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (defensive)
No-no I'm not racist! Look I was
close to the abyss. Almost having
drunken limp-dick sex is a step in
the right direction for me.
                                                            
                       ROCK
An L is an L no matter how you
look at it. I've seen countless
men waste their life's potential
drinking too much, don't fall into
that trap.
                                                            
Mike stops to think for a few second before responding.
                                                            
                       MIKE
This change you're expecting takes
time, I can't just change like
that. I've got issues.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You can change, you have to
change. Like I said last night,
you either take these games in
life seriously or you lose.
                                                            
                       MIKE
It's not that easy Rock, I'm
trying I just don't have that
inner fire, or passion, whatever
it is you have I don't have that.
                                                            
                       ROCK
You do have it, I don't know what
it is with your generation, but
you kids are so much softer,
passive, weaker generation. You
all are the overly mothered
generation. You were all brought
up in a bubble of participant
ribbons and everybody is an equal
winner horseshit. The reality of
life isn't what you've been
taught.
                                                            

67.

                       MIKE
I am from the softest generation
ever, I'm an alcoholic and a
loser. Anything else?
                                                            
                       ROCK
You have many other flaws but that
sums up the major ones as far as I
can tell. But HEY! Now you know
what you can do to change, if
those are your biggest weaknesses
then what should you do?
                                                            
Mike hits a moment of clarity.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I should stop drinking, get
tougher, and give greater effort
in all things so I can win more?
                                                            
                       ROCK
Wow it really is that easy, see
now you know what you have to
conquer, if you focus on those
three things I promise you will
change big time.
                                                            
Both stand in silence for a short pause.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Alright... Rock you're off the
hook. Thank you for helping me. I
have never had anyone help me here
the way you have. I will get the
charges dropped. I only have one
request, that you get my roommates
tickets to the home games, they
love you.
                                                            
                       ROCK
That is a deal, I'll hook your
boys up, just make sure you call
the 5-0 and clear me.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I think I'm ready for this new me.
                                                            
                       ROCK
We met under some weird
circumstances kid, but I am happy
to help, I feel for you I really
do. I want to see you improve and
get better. If you really listen
to what I have told you, you wont
be the one begging to get your
girl back, she will be the one
begging for you.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I hope so.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Hoping and wishing won't get you
jack shit in life, go make it
happen. Get sharpened up then
            (MORE)

68.

                       ROCK (cont'd)
throw your bait back out there and
see if she bites.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OF A BOOKSTORE - DAY
                                                            
Montage scene spanning 2 months and 2 weeks... Quick cuts
alternating between scenes of Mike seducing 4 different
women, Allie watching Luca at a wakeboard tourney and after
party, Rock playing football, and Mike playing some Dota.

Music- Upbeat Rock
                                                            
Mike approaches a pretty blonde Brazilian girl sitting
outside of a book store reading a book. He comments on the
book she is reading and begins a conversation with her. Mike
sits down next to her, gives her a big smile and she smiles
back.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
**Rock is back on the football field, in a defensive huddle.
He and the defense get set in position. The ball is snapped
and Rock makes a tackle on an outside running play. Monty,
Dre, and Will can be seen cheering from the front row all
wearing Rock jerseys.

**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
making big plays in the game and winning.
                                                            
 
EXT. BUS STOP - DAY
                                                            
Mike sees an attractive purple haired Asian girl is sitting
at a bus stop. Mike walks up and sits down next to her
striking up conversation with her, making her laugh.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX TRACK - DAY
                                                            
Mike is stretching on the track. Before running he notices a
very cute and innocent looking girl with light brown hair
jog past him. Mike jogs up next to her, gets her attention,
and begins a conversation.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Mike is sitting at a cocktail table and notices a stunning
dark haired Persian girl with seductive eyes. Mike holds eye
contact with her for a few seconds before approaching her.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 

69.

EXT. WAKEBOARD TOURNEY - DAY
                                                            
Allie is in a bathing suit on the beach watching Luca's wake
boarding tourney. Luca is doing acrobatic flips and stunts.
Allie cheers for him. Luca points at her and smiles as he
finishes his run. John and Shea are also there spectating
and cheering on.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. DOWNTOWN DC - DAY
                                                            
Mike and the blonde Brazilian girl have left the bookstore
and are briskly walking through downtown DC chatting and
laughing. Mike pulls out his phone to get her number.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. CITY BUS- DOWNTOWN DC - DAY
                                                            
Mike is on the bus sitting next to the purple haired Asian
girl, chatting her up, smiling and laughing with her. Mike
pulls out his phone as the bus comes to a stop.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. ELITE SPORTSPLEX TRACK - DAY
                                                            
Mike and the light brown haired girl are still running on
the track. Mike points to the far side of the track, they
both get set to race, pause a couple of seconds, then begin
sprinting. They are neck and neck as Mike playfully tries to
block her from winning. She pulls ahead of him and he falls
over into the grass to her amusement.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
INT. RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Mike and the dark haired Persian girl are gazing into each
others eyes, having a very sensual conversation. A waiter
brings them a bottle of red wine. Mike jokingly acts like a
wine connoisseur as he swirls his red wine around in his
glass before putting up to his nose and smelling it. Mike
then takes a very tiny sip and lets it sit on his tongue.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
EXT. WAKEBOARD TOURNEY - DAY
                                                            
Luca is pulling off dangerous and wild tricks, landing all
of them with authority. Allie and the crowd cheer as Luca
has won the competition. Luca doesn't look at Allie this
time after the victory instead looking at other beautiful
women that are cheering him on. She notices and feels a
little insecure. John next to Shea, and can be seen giving
her a bump of cocaine.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 

70.

EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - DAY
                                                            
Rock is running full speed after the opposing running back
and snares his leg behind the line of scrimmage. Rock jumps
up and celebrates as the crowd goes wild. Monty, Dre, and
Will are in the front row jumping around happily.

**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
again closing out another game and winning.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OF DC METRO STATION - NIGHT
                                                            
Quick Cuts

*Mike is hiding behind a tree outside of the metro station
as the light brown haired girl walks out. Mike jumps out and
surprises her, she laughs and he grabs her hand.

*The purple haired Asian girl and Mike walk out of the metro
station together. Mike points across the street as they
walk.

*The blonde Brazilian girl walks out of the metro station
looking for Mike. He is sitting on a bench nearby, he
motions his finger as to say "come here".
                                                            
 
INT. VARIOUS BARS - NIGHT
                                                            
Quick Cuts

*Mike is with the light brown haired girl inside a beach
themed bar. The two are smiling and laughing at each other
as they drink a couple of tropical island drinks.

*Mike is with the purple haired Asian girl at a dive bar,
packed with people. They cheers with a couple of beers.

*Mike is with the blonde Brazilian girl at an outdoors patio
bar. The blonde Brazilian girl hands Mike a shot of tequila.
They both lick the salt off their glasses, drink the shots,
and bite into limes.
                                                            
 
EXT. LUCA'S MANSION - NIGHT
                                                            
Outside his luxurious mansion, Luca and John are mingling
and entertaining everyone poolside, soaking in all of the
attention from Luca winning his tournament. Everyone is
partying and Luca is loving it. He takes beer bongs with
John and entertains everyone. Allie is sitting with Shea,
looking on as Luca steals the show and doesn't give her any
attention. Luca begins flirting with a couple of beautiful
young girls as Allie sits nearby in silent jealousy.
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - NIGHT
                                                            
Rock is seen sprinting behind the line of scrimmage and
sacking the opposing quarterback. The home fans cheer wildly
with Monty, Dre, and Will all in the front row high fiving.

71.


**Quick Cut over to Mike's room where he is playing Dota 2
winning yet another big game.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
INT. VARIOUS BARS - NIGHT
                                                            
Quick cuts

*Mike is dancing with the purple haired Asian girl very
slowly, face to face on the dance floor.

*Mike is grinding behind the light brown haired girl on a
packed dance floor. His hands are around her waist.

*Mike is watching the blonde Brazilian girl dance for him,
he is lost in a lustful trance as she gazes into his eyes.
                                                            
 
INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike finishes his glass of red wine as he gazes into the
dark haired Persian girls eyes. He then moves in for a kiss.
                                                            
                                         QUICK CUT
                                                            
 
INT. VARIOUS BARS - NIGHT
                                                            
Quick cuts

*Mike turns the light haired brown girl around and starts
kissing her very gently.

*Mike moves in close to the purple haired Asian girl around
and begins to kiss her.

*Mike walks up to the blonde Brazilian girl and starts to
kiss her.
                                                            
 
EXT. LUCA'S MANSION- POOLSIDE - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie is sitting and waiting impatiently as Luca is
beginning to get wasted and flirts even harder with the
random girls. Allie is frustrated, finally gets up and grabs
Luca's hand, walks him away to a more private spot. Luca
realizes he is in trouble and says something to Allie to
make her laugh, puts his arms around her and goes in and
kisses her. She reluctantly kisses him back and gives a half
smile. John grabs Shea and throws her into the pool then
jumps in on top of her.
                                                            
 
INT. VARIOUS BEDROOMS - NIGHT
                                                            
Quick cuts

*Mike is sitting on a bed next to the light brown haired
girl very sensually kissing her and slowly caressing her
body.


72.

*Mike is standing beside a bed while kissing the purple
haired Asian girl.

*Mike and the blonde Brazilian girl are lustfully rolling
around in bed kissing.

*Mike and the dark haired Persian girl are kissing
passionately against the bedroom door.

*Mike takes off the shirt of the light brown haired girl
while kissing her neck, he then unbuttons her white bra.

*A white bra flies through the air.

*A black bra flies through the air.

*A pink bra flies through the air.

*A purple bra flies through the air.

*Pink panties fly through the air.

*Purple panties fly through the air.

*Black panties fly through the air.

*A teddy bear flies through the air.

*White panties fly though the air.
                                                            
                                         FADE TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. WASHINGTON WARRIORS FOOTBALL FIELD - NIGHT
                                                            
It's late in the game and the Warriors are down 6 points.
Rock is on the field. He gets set pre-snap and reads the
quarterbacks eyes. He jumps the receivers route and
intercepts the football running for the endzone. Right as
Rock is being tackled short of the endzone he laterals the
ball to a teammate trailing behind him securing the go ahead
touchdown. The crowd is going ballistic with Monty, Dre, and
Will all jumping up and down losing their minds as it
happens right in front of them.
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOUSE- MIKE'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mike is lying in his bed, wakes up and sees a note. It reads
"I really like you a lot... =)" It is signed with the name
Kiley. Mike smiles and falls back into his pillow
overwhelmed by a sense of pride and accomplishment. Dre,
Monty, and Will all burst into Mike's room full of
jubilation and excitement. They are blasting the song "Sh*t"
by Future". All three jump on Mike on his bed hopping around
to the song celebrating.
                                                            
                       DRE
SPENDIN MONEY ON THESE HOES! NIGGA
U AINT FUCKED SHIT!
                                                            
                       MONTY
TALKIN BOUT POPPIN BOTTLES NIGGA U
AINT POPPED SHIT!
                                                            

73.

All three mouth out the gun fire part in unison,
"BDUDUDUDUDUDU! STICK EM! FUCK YOU AND EVERY NIGGA CAME WITH
YA!". All three hopping around Mike can't help but smile at
how happy they are.
                                                            
                       WILL
My ambitions as a rider, sippin on
lean getting higher!
                                                            
They continue bouncing around dancing to the song.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (picks up Kiley's
       note)
Damn son you got these hoes
leaving you notes too, they want
more! They want so much more, you
bring the pain hardcore to the
brains kid!
                                                            
                       WILL
Damn son you bringin da pain to
those bitches! Wow what a
beatdown!
                                                            
                       DRE
There's gonna be so many girls at
this party tonight! We are so
hyped! You got us in bro we will
never forget!
                                                            
                       MONTY
Rock has turned our boy into a
man! This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to us.
                                                            
                       MIKE
You can thank me for trying to
drunkenly attack one of the
strongest men on earth and getting
Rock arrested.
                                                            
                       DRE
So you must be totally over Allie
by now right? These new girls look
better anyways.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (hands Mike a bong)
She's one more bong hit away from
being forgotten, here you go bro.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (takes the bong
       and lights it and
       takes a tiny hit)
Allie who?
      (blows out the
       smoke)
                                                            
The friends all laugh together and jump around in joy.
                                                            
                       WILL
I'm gonna get some tonight!
                                                            

74.

Mike, Monty, and Dre all shout with the song and point at
each other with the lyrics. YOU A GOON YOU A GOON YOU A
GOON! NIGGA LET ME SEE YOU PROVE IT!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. CLARENCE'S MANSION- DRIVEWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike and the roommates park on the street outside of
Clarence's driveway. There are a lot of luxurious cars
parked all over the street. Mike, Monty, Dre, and Will, see
Rock who is dressed in a white/blue tuxedo wearing a halo.
Mike walks up to him dressed in a sharp black tuxedo with a
red shirt and devil horns. Dre and Monty are both dressed as
devils and Will is dressed in white/angel attire.
                                                            
                       ROCK
This is the moment of truth boys,
are you ready to experience what a
real party is?
                                                            
The guys all cheer and run up to hug Rock. Jumping up and
down.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (excited, pupils
       get big)
Oh my God this is the greatest day
in my life! Rock I love you more
than anything in the world!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION - EVENING
                                                            
The interior of the mansion is beautifully decorated to
match the Heaven/Hell theme. Mike, Rock, Monty, Dre, and
Will all run into Clarence and Tang who greet them near the
entrance. Tang is in a very elaborate devil costume while
Clarence is in an equally elaborate angel outfit.
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
Rock! Mike! Hey boys! So happy you
could make it! Rock did you tell
Mike about the rules?
                                                            
Rock and Mike look at each other for a second and look back
to Clarence.
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
There are no rules! Have fun and
be easy on the girls!
                                                            
                       TANG
      (Does a sexy
       little dance)
Get freaky bitches!
                                                            
                       CLARENCE
Oh you little slut you!
      (pinches Tang's
       ass)
                                                            

75.

Clarence and Tang skip off to another room.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (whispers to Mike)
Alright, this is it. After tonight
you will be completely over that
ex girlfriend of yours and you
will understand why being a man is
so incredible.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I hope so.
                                                            
A beautiful model walks by and hands them each a drink.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Don't hope, be dope.
                                                            
Rock cheers his drink with Mike's.
                                                            
                       ROCK
I'll see you in Hell! Come on
boys!
      (Motions to Monty,
       Dre, and Will.)
                                                            
Rock and the gang leave Mike and walk downstairs to the part
of the mansion/party that is decorated like Hell.

Mike walks upstairs into the pristine Heaven themed area.
He is standing in an open room with incredible chandeliers
hanging down, a absolutely stunning fully stocked bar and
plenty of spaces for lounging and cocktail tables. In the
middle is a band composed of a man playing the piano, a man
playing the violin, and a beautiful woman (Ellie Goulding)
who is singing and playing a harp, creating a serene blend
of music. There are only a handful of people so far, and
Mike walks to the bar to grab a drink and soak in his
incredible surroundings. After getting a drink and watching
the band perform for a minute, the stunning, absolutely
gorgeous model AUDREY SILVER walks up to the bar next to
him. Mike is mesmerized as she walks up, his life flashes
before his eyes and his nerves tighten up to the max as if
he just saw a ghost. After a few seconds Mike musters up the
courage to say something.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Hi, I'm Mike.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Hello, I'm Audrey.
                                                            
                       MIKE
So a golfer, a gambling addict,
and a alcoholic walk into a bar.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (smirking)
And?
                                                            
Mike points to John Daly who walks into the party dressed in
devil attire.
                                                            

76.

                       AUDREY
      (laughs)
Good timing on that one!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smooth)
Great timing is kind of my thing.
After all here I am... In Heaven,
standing next to an angel.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (blushing)
Oh really now?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (looks up to
       heaven)
Really, you were hand crafted by
God to mesmerize the world and
make guys like me fight to the
death, hoping to come to a place
like this.
                                                            
Audrey has a good sense of humor and laughs pretty loudly.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Thank you?!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (admiring his
       surroundings)
I've never experienced anything
like this, it's surreal.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
I love how everything is set up,
it's really nice. I like your
devil suit.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smiling)
I an angel at heart but wanted to
play the role of a devil tonight.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
I was stuck on deciding for a
while. I really liked my devil
outfit but I thought it might be
too slutty.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (sarcastic)
I totally understand, I hate it
when I dress too slutty. I can
never tell if girls actually want
me for being me or if they just
want to use my body, you know? Hit
it and quit it.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (laughs)
Wow yeah, so you have the same
problems. You're a funny guy.
                                                            

77.

                       MIKE
      (sarcastically)
Well shit, you think I'm funny,
can we get married already?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (sarcastically)
Right now or it's never gonna
happen!
                                                            
Mike immediately drops to his knee as if to propose. People
take notice and the room gets quiet.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (high charisma)
I fuckin love you! Lets get
married!
                                                            
Audrey is trying her best to hold in laughter as onlookers
await her response patiently.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Ok one stipulation, do you like
Thai food? Cause I love it.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I love it. Sometimes I take the
noodles and make a noodle mustache
with them.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Ok then I guess that's good enough
for me!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (excited)
She said yes!
                                                            
Mike stands up and hugs Audrey as everyone claps around
them.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Well that was fast. But what about
my ring?
                                                            
                       MIKE
We can't do that now, it could get
a little too chilly up here. A
little too.. Icy.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (laughs)
Like that would be the worst thing
in the world. I want my ring!
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (grinning)
I don't want my nipples to get
hard in front of all these nice
people.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
So now that we're practically
married, what do we do now?
                                                            

78.

                       MIKE
      (grabs Audrey's
       hands)
Now we dance, an elegant dance of
love and memory. We dance for love
lost and for new love to be
discovered.
                                                            
Mike quickly whips Audrey to the dance floor where the band
is playing a wonderful song. The two dance together as
others look on, they whisper to each other and get to know
one another as the two dance the night away.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-DOWNSTAIRS-HELL THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Rock walks down into the Hell themed basement of Clarence's
mansion. The setting is one of excitement with red, black,
and orange silk strewn everywhere to give the appearance of
fire. There is a DJ dressed as a demon playing loud
electro-swing dance music, with many people passionately
dancing on the dance floor. Steam and mist is flying about
everywhere. Rock, Monty, Dre, and Will all grab drinks and
filter into the dance floor, and start dancing with the
beautiful models everywhere. Across the floor is Allie,
Luca, Shea, and John, all but Allie in devil costumes, Allie
is in a beautiful angel costume. They are sitting at one of
the many cocktail tables that are set up.
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (fake gentlemen's
       voice)
I don't know about you all but I
believe this to be a fine whiskey
and cocaine type of evening.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (fake gentlemen's
       voice)
Why yes John I couldn't agree
more, I believe this to be the
finest whiskey and cocaine
evening.
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (nods her head to
       John)
I couldn't agree more.
                                                            
John pulls out a little bag of cocaine with a small spoon to
snort bumps off of. Shea takes the first, followed by Luca
and John. Allie is offered but turns it down.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (peer pressuring)
Oh come on Allie, if there was
ever a time and place.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (looks
       uncomfortable)
I don't know.
                                                            

79.

                       SHEA
Oh come on my little angel! You
can be a bad girl every once in a
while, live a little!
                                                            
Shea hands Allie the spoon with cocaine and Allie
reluctantly takes it, she snorts it and shakes her head back
and forth.
                                                            
                       JOHN
There she is! Like a seasoned vet.
                                                            
Allie's scans her setting for a about 10 seconds, admiring
how well designed the party is. Her expression changes from
neutral to being very happy.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Wow! I didn't think it would feel
this good.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Now you know what you have been
missing out on.
                                                            
                       JOHN
You know what will really set this
off?
                                                            
John pulls out a bag of MDMA pills.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (fake gentlemen's
       voice)
Oh no John you shouldn't have!
                                                            
                       JOHN
      (fake gentlemen's
       voice)
Oh but I insist!
                                                            
                       SHEA
      (laughing)
Oh you said you weren't but you
did anyway! Now we have a night
ahead of us.
                                                            
John takes a pill, and hands one each to Luca and Shea. They
both take their pills, then John hands one to Allie. She
takes the pill right away. They all cheer in anticipation of
being highly inebriated. Allie then pauses for a second and
realizes what she has just done and feels a bit of anxiety.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I can't believe what I've just
done, if my boss sees me like
this.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Don't worry, everything will be
alright, he wont notice. We are
all here for a great time right?
                                                            

80.

                       JOHN
You know I have something that
could help you out here.
                                                            
John pulls out a Xanax pill.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Mobile pharmacy John to the
rescue.
                                                            
Allie takes the Xanax from John and swallows it.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Anything else John can get you?
Perhaps a quelude? Or an edible?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I think I'm going to be OK now.
                                                            
                       SHEA
Hang on girl you're in for a ride!
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (gives Allie a
       lustful look)
It's dark and hell is hot.
                                                            
Luca takes Allie's hand and begins to walk her to the dance
floor.
                                                            
                       JOHN
I love DMX too Luca, great album.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-UPSTAIRS HEAVEN THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike and Shea are sitting down at a cocktail table after
dancing. Mike is on his third drink now and beginning to get
a little drunk.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (cocky/funny)
Would you say that, I am a good
dancer, or a great dancer?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
You aren't quite jabberwocky
level, but you're not bad.
                                                            
                       MIKE
That's one of the nicest things
anyone has ever said about me,
thank you.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (laughs)
You're welcome.
                                                            

81.

                       MIKE
      (cocky/funny)
I would say your dancing is on par
with a peg legged pirate that has
good rhythm.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (scolding)
Mike! That isn't nice!
                                                            
                       MIKE
What? I said a peg legged pirate
with good rhythm, not bad rhythm.
Your high heels can only stick so
many landings babe.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (laughing)
Oh you are too much.
                                                            
                       MIKE
You know what I like about you?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
What is that?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smiling)
You're an angel.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Isn't that why you married me?
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (smooth)
Every devil needs an angel to show
them the light.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Yet the angel cannot be tempted by
the dark, otherwise they will
become a devil themselves.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Can an angel go from being a devil
back to being an angel again?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (pondering)
I don't know, it's hard to tell.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (goes in for a
       kiss)
Lets find out!
                                                            
Mike and Audrey share a gentle kiss, very innocent and
carefree. After they kiss they smile at one another, Mike
takes Audrey's hand and holds it.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

82.

INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-DOWNSTAIRS-HELL THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
The dance floor is in full motion with a large group of
people all dancing the night away. Rock, Monty, Dre, and
Will are all still dancing with different beautiful women.
Will is grinding with a very beautiful woman in a devil
outfit.
                                                            
                       WILL
      (looks to Monty
       and Dre)
This is so dope!
                                                            
                       MONTY
This is what dreams are made of
buddy. Keep grindin!
                                                            
                       DRE
      (to Will)
Grind it boy, grind it!
                                                            
                       ROCK
Don't hold back the night is just
starting to heat up!
                                                            
On the other end of the dance floor Allie, Luca, John, and
Shea are all feeling the effects of the drugs they are on
and are sweating profusely while dancing. Allie and Shea are
grinding on one another while Luca and John are dancing
nearby.
                                                            
                       JOHN
Hey Luca remember that time we
were dancing at the greatest party
of all time!
                                                            
                       LUCA
Yeah you mean right now!
                                                            
                       JOHN
Yeah right now!
                                                            
                       LUCA
This is some good shit!
                                                            
Luca and John start dancing more intensely to the music and
start their own dance circle. They are going all out on the
MDMA and each pull off some spectacular dance moves while
Allie and Shea are dancing nearby in their own world. Tang
and Clarence happen to be downstairs and notice the dance
circle, they join in and pull off some moves of their own.
Everyone is having a great time.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-UPSTAIRS-HEAVEN THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike and Audrey are still sitting and enjoying each others
company upstairs in the pristine heaven themed area. Mike
looks at his drink and looks at the bar but resists the
temptation to get another drink.
                                                            

83.

                       MIKE
Wow what a great night. But you
know what would make it even
better, is if we went downstairs.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (joking around)
I don't know about that. I'm kind
of scared of hell, being an angel
and all. Do you think I would be
welcome down there?
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm pretty sure you would be
welcome anywhere.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
I think you're underestimating
where we are going. Do you really
want to leave heaven?
                                                            
                       MIKE
It should be fun, you know? Whats
the worst that could happen?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (shrugs)
Ok lets go!
                                                            
Mike nods his head to the stairway down to hell themed area.
He sees Will on his way up to the heaven themed area as he
and Audrey are going down. He high fives Will, gives him a
hug and slaps his ass as he goes up.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-DOWNSTAIRS-HELL THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Mike and Audrey walk downstairs into the Hell themed
madness, where everyone is dancing and partying like crazy.
They both have looks of awe as they take in the music and
the scene before them.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Wow this is something else, what
did we get ourselves into? Can we
go back to heaven?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Nope we're stuck down here now, we
can't leave.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Alright here we go, you may be in
hell now but you're still my
angel.
                                                            
Mike and Audrey hold hands and walk into the large crowd of
party people. They start to dance to the music that is being
played and blend into the crowd. They start to dance and are
genuinely falling in love, Mike is staying somewhat sober
and Audrey is infatuated with Mike's confidence.


84.

Nearby the group of Allie, Luca, John, and Shea are still
dancing but less intense. Allie comes back to reality from
dancing for a moment. She glances across the dance floor and
sees Mike and Audrey dancing, smiling, holding hands, and
looking into each others eyes. At first she is in disbelief,
and has to do a double take, and a triple take not sure if
shes being deceived by the drugs shes on. Then suddenly like
a ton of bricks she is hit with a fierce bout of jealousy
and rage. Luca notices her reaction and gives a concerned
look.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (confused)
Is everything alright babe? You
look a little, mad?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
That fucking guy, what in the hell
is he doing here?
                                                            
Allie quickly bolts over to Mike and Audrey to confront Mike
to see what is going on. She taps Mike on the shoulder but
he doesn't quite notice it because of how crowded it is.
She then grabs his shoulder and turns him around. Mike's
stomach turns as he sees his ex girlfriend Allie right in
front of him in her sweat soaked angel outfit.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Allie? Whoa! What are you doing
here?!
                                                            
Allie ignores Mike and turns to Audrey.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (reaches out her
       hand to greet)
Hello Audrey Silver is it? You are
absolutely gorgeous, I am a huge
fan. I am Tang Kim's personal
assistant Allie, it's great to
meet you.
                                                            
Luca follows behind and gets up close to listen in to what
Allie is up to. Shea and John notice what is up and are not
too far away within listening distance.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Very nice to meet you Allie, so
you know Mike here?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (feeling the
       effects of the
       drugs shes on)
Yes as a matter of fact I do know
Mike, we used to date. We used to
have a lot of sex, really kinky
sex.
                                                            
Audrey whispers to Mike.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (whispering)
What is going on right now?
                                                            

85.

                       MIKE
      (whispering to
       Audrey)
Can we go back to heaven now
please?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (whispering and
       smiling)
I told you we're stuck down here,
this is some crazy stuff. I want
to see you finagle your way out of
this one funny man.
                                                            
Mike's at first feels a bit panicked, then the voice of Rock
enters his head reminding him that life is full of games and
to give it your best effort. He accepts Allie's challenge.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (playing the
       game/Really dry)
I'll be honest Audrey, I met this
Allie character once, we didn't
exactly have sex but she did give
me a sloppy blowjob once behind a
Mc'Donald's dumpster, she actually
paid me $20! And it was one of the
worst blow jobs I have ever
gotten.
                                                            
Audrey lets out a snort of laughter and spits some of her
drinks out at how brazen Mike's comment was. Luca didn't
quite hear everything but notices Allie amazement at Mike's
confidence.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Hey Allie who is this guy? Is he
bothering you?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (dancing in place,
       putting her hands
       on herself)
You could say I'm feeling
bothered, hot and bothered.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (directed to Luca)
What I said a second ago wasn't
true, I did used to date Allie, I
gave her possibly the most mind
blowing orgasms of her life. Shes
mad that part of her life is over
now and she needs to get over it.
                                                            
Audrey laughs out loud again. Luca is super confused and
wants to be angry but the drugs are putting his mind in a
weird position.
                                                            
                       LUCA
Ok alright a real funny guy, you
know you're talking about my
girlfriend that way, not cool
dude.
                                                            

86.

Luca's comment strike a nerve with Mike and changes his
state a little, he has a minor flashback to the rage he felt
that night at the club before he charged at Rock. However he
keeps his composure.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Yeah well life isn't cool
sometimes bro. I'm jealous you
only have to deal with Allie, she
isn't that bad. Audrey here is
already asking me for a fat
diamond, she is so high
maintenance.
                                                            
Luca gets up close to Mike.
                                                            
                       LUCA
      (angry but feeling
       good from the
       drugs)
Funny guy.
                                                            
Allie walks up and butt's inbetween Luca and Mike, she grabs
Mike's hand.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (Acting like an
       angel yet
       seductive)
Let me have one last dance, for
good old times sake.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (whispers to
       Audrey while
       smirking)
Please don't divorce me over this,
I swear it will be one dance then
we can go back to heaven, or this
guy is gonna kick my ass. Either
way we are having a great time.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
      (whispers back to
       Mike)
This is too good, I'm here for the
show.
                                                            
Allie grabs Mike's hand and drags him 20 feet away from the
group and starts dancing with Mike while starting in his
eyes.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
      (Angry/confused)
What in the FUCK are you doing
here Mike? And how the hell are
you... Making Audrey Silver follow
you around? What has happened to
you?!
                                                            
                       MIKE
Whoa whoa, I was invited, Clarence
Weddle is my boy. And well I don't
know I saw her so I started
talking to her. Why are you
            (MORE)

87.

                       MIKE (cont'd)
jealous or something?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
No I'm not jealous, I'm just
surprised you're here, like really
really fucking surprised. How do
you even know Clarence? I am
baffled and confused and I don't
know why I am feeling this way.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Ok well if you aren't jealous,
then we should be cool, be
friendly, no need for a full blown
interrogation. I think I really
like this Audrey, please don't
ruin this for me. You have a
boyfriend, you shouldn't even be
thinking about me at all.
                                                            
Allie turns around and starts grinding on Mike with her ass.
Mike looks over to an entertained Audrey and concerned Luca
and rolls his eyes at them. Allie puts Mike's hands around
her waist.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
I don't feel like I have ever met
this Mike, what happened to you?
                                                            
                       MIKE
Are you the Allie I used to know?
Are you on drugs or something?
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Maybe I'm a little... Drugged up.
                                                            
                       MIKE
      (laughs out loud)
Are you rolling right now? Oh my
God you were such a goody two
shoes back when we were together
you would hardly drink. Now you a
supafreak, and I love it!
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Yeah you like me being a bad girl
huh?
                                                            
Allie puts Mike's hands on her breasts, and Mike is getting
more and more turned on by her.
                                                            
Rock notices Mike is dancing with a girl, but doesn't know
it is Allie. They are dancing a distance of 30 feet from
them. Monty and Dre are quite drunk at this point.
                                                            
                       ROCK
It looks like your boy Mike is
gettin along nicely.
                                                            
                       MONTY
      (nearly jaw
       dropped)
No fucking way, he's with ALLIE!
What in the fuck is she doing
            (MORE)

88.

                       MONTY (cont'd)
here?
                                                            
                       DRE
Oh no, not that bitch, she fucked
Mike up so bad. This ain't good.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Allie? His ex girlfriend he used
to moan and bitch about all the
time?
                                                            
                       MONTY
Yeah that's her.. Damn she is
looking fine as hell tonight
though. But we shouldn't let him
fuck himself over again, he's come
so far.
                                                            
Monty starts to walk toward Mike and Allie, but Rock stops
him.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Wait a second, I want to see if
Mike has learned anything, I want
to see what he does for a minute.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Sir yes sir!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-UPSTAIRS-HEAVEN THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Will is upstairs dancing with multiple beautiful women to
the serene heavenly music. Will has great dance moves, and
the women are very attracted to his style.
                                                            
                       WILL (vo)
Oh Yeaaah! So many fine bitches!
Get on my level hoes!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. CLARENCE'S MANSION-BASEMENT-HELL THEMED - NIGHT
                                                            
Allie and Mike continue dancing very passionately.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Allie if you keep this up you're
gonna get in trouble.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Maybe I want to get in trouble.
                                                            
                       MIKE
Maybe I want to dance with Audrey
now.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Maybe I want you back.
                                                            

89.

                       MIKE
Maybe that's not such a good idea.
                                                            
Allie turns around to look Mike in the eyes.
                                                            
                       ALLIE
Maybe it is.
                                                            
Allie leans in and starts kissing Mike very passionately,
and Mike has no choice but to kiss her back, as he still
loves her. Luca is furious, he charges after Mike. He runs
up, separates the two and starts grabbing Mike by the shirt
and punches him in the stomach and face. Rock, Monty, and
Dre all notice this and run over to help. Rock steps in
between the two to separate them. As Rock is in the middle
of them all he recognizes Audrey's voice yelling at them to
stop and he looks over at her.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Audrey? Baby?
                                                            
                       AUDREY
Rock!
                                                            
Out of nowhere a coked up John comes flying in and dives
into the group of everyone and the pile rolls up on Rock's
leg pinning his knee in a bad position. Rock's knee is
injured and he is writhing in pain on the ground trying his
best not to yell in pain. Monty falls to his knees next to
Rock and immediately begins screaming and sobbing.
                                                            
                       MONTY
Rock NO! NOOOOO!!!
                                                            
Everyone's focus shifts to Rock being down and injured. Luca
grabs Allie, and motions for John, and Shea to head out. The
four quickly depart. Audrey walks up to Rock and the three
others.
                                                            
                       ROCK
Oh God no my knee.. The playoffs.
                                                            
                                         FADE TO:
                                                            
 
INT. THE HOSPITAL - MORNING
                                                            
A very nervous Mike walks into Rock's hospital room. Audrey
is standing next to Rock holding his hand.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I'm so sorry Rock.
                                                            
                       ROCK
      (glum)
I never expected to go out like
this.
                                                            
Rock is very upset and won't make eye contact with Mike. He
has a 1000 yard stare, and is anxious about missing the
playoffs.
                                                            

90.

                       AUDREY
The MRI still hasn't come back
yet. There is still a chance you
can make it back.
                                                            
Audrey leans in and kisses Rock on the cheek, he is
motionless staring into space.
                                                            
                       MIKE
I don't know what to say, I feel
horrible.
                                                            
Rock has no response.
                                                            
                       AUDREY
He is still in shock by all of
this. You should come back a
little bit later Mike.
                                                            
Mike nods his head and walks out of the room.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO: