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Looking Back At Me
by Edmund Poliks (edmundpoliks@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Science Fiction/Fantasy   User Review: *
Short Fantasy Film: A teenage boy who cannot bring up the courage to ask a girl out gets a little help from certain "heroes."

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



Lights fade in to reveal the set up of Luke's room. In the
center of the room is the frame of a large mirror with the
glass taken out, that Luke constant looks into to. Near the
mirror is a table, where a phone sits by itself. As the
scene opens up, Luke is pacing in his room with a look of
worry and indecision on his face.
                       LUKE (pacing)
I mean, what's the worst that can
Luke quickly looks at the phone as he says this and walks
toward it during his next line.
All I have to do is just take the
plunge you know?
                       LUKE (reaching for phone)
Just....pick up the phone...dial
her number and....
Right before touching the phone, Luke jerks his hand away
from the phone. He then continues to pace in his room. He
mumbles to himself nervously as he does this for a few
seconds, then he stops in front of the mirror.
                       LUKE (worried)
How do I do it? I like her and I
really one to go for it........but
how do I start?
Luke looks into the mirror during this next line.
                       LUKE (thinking)
Hmmmm....well what if I was suave?
A secret agent enters who looks suspiciously likes James
Bond.He enters through the large frame that Luke is looking
into, and walks past Josh and stands a few steps behind him;
posing in the same style as Bond.


Yeah, what if I used British charm
to sweep her off her feet? What if
I I could be smooth, slick, bold,
debonair...and sexually arousing?
As Luke talks, a girl appears on stage and the secret agent,
smoothly walks over to her and begins to whisper underneath
Luke's monologue. After a couple of seconds, the girl looks
lustfully at the secret agent, and the two of them walk off
stage together.
                       LUKE (negative)
Now that I think about it, when I
ever been charming or subtle?
Never. Hell, I can't even do a bad
British accent, so why bother?
Luke stares into the mirror for a moment.
                       LUKE (thinking out loud)
What about something opposite?
What if I...rushed into it?
A cowboy/Western drifter swaggers through the mirror and
stops a few steps behind Luke. He stands there with his
shoulders folded and gives a squinting glare at the
                       LUKE (proclaiming)
Why not? I could be bold and
daring! I could look her straight
in the eye, and tell her-
                       COWBOY (roughly)
-go ahead. Make my day.
COWBOY exits.
                       LUKE (with head down)
On second thought, the only thing
I ever get when I do stuff like
that is a bitch slap.
Luke slumps in front of the mirror in silence for a moment,
but then looks up with a small glimmer of hope into the
                       LUKE (hopeful)
What if I'm both?
The Adventurer then runs through the mirror and stops a few
steps behind Luke. A Woman then appears behind the


adventurer from the opposite end of the stage and begins to
pantomine fear and distress. The Adventurer proceeds to
throw punchs into the air at an imaginary opponent to save
the woman.
                       LUKE (excited)
Yeah, what if I can be both? What
if I showed both physical and
mental skill to her? What if I
could show that I could protect
her and be there for her if she
needed me?
As Luke's line is being said, the Adventurer subdues the
imaginary opponent and the woman silently cheers in joy and
triumph. She then kisses the adventurer and the two exit
                       LUKE (pessimistic)
Who am I kidding? I'm none of
those things. I can't be suave or
charming......I can't be bold and
tough......hell, I can't even be
brave about picking up the phone
and asking her a stupid question.
Luke sits down and begins to gaze in the mirror, looking at
his reflection.
                       LUKE (confused)
What am I supposed to do? How am I
supposed to just ask a girl out
like that?.......Maybe I should
just stop fucking with myself...
Luke dips his head in sadness but quickly interrupted upon
the entrance of the Adventurer through the mirror who
proceeds to grab him and quickly punch him in the face,
knocking him down. Luke gets up after a couple of seconds
and looks up, confused as hell.
                       LUKE (kinda scared)
Ow....who are you and how the hell
did you get in my room?
                       ADVENTURER (matter of fact)
Simple kid, I'm here to help you.
                       LUKE (yelling)
Then why did you punch me?
Cowboy immediately enters through the mirror.


                       COWBOY (tough)
Because you needed to wake the
hell up dipshit.
Luke gets up and looks at the two of them with anger.
                       LUKE (angrily)
I can take care of myself!
You couldn't take care of a wet
Secret Agent enters on the end of that line.
                       SECRET AGENT (To cowboy)
What we need to take care of is
that mouth of yours.
                       SECRET AGENT (To Luke)
As for you, you need to bite the
bullet and simply get this
business out of the way. It's not
good to hesitate.
Rolls eyes as if remembering something bad that happened.
                       SECRET AGENT
Trust me I know.
                       LUKE (looks up)
So you're saying I should do it
his way then?
Luke points at the Adventurer.
                       SECRET AGENT (sighs)
Punch him again.
                       COWBOY (smirks)
The cowboy takes a step forward but is stopped by the
                       ADVENTURER (to Cowboy)
                       ADVENTURER (Turning toward the kid)
Kid, you're not going to get
anywhere if you keep moping and
moaning about how others do it.
The three of us are all different
people, and we all succeed in our


                       ADVENTURER (cont'd)
own way.
The Secret Agent then smiles suggestively as if he is
thinking of dirty thoughts.
                       SECRET AGENT
                       COWBOY (gruff)
Shut your pie hole limey.
                       ADVENTURER (takes his hat off.)
You have to decide for yourself
how you're gonna go about it, but
I'll say this: just do what you
The Adventurer puts the hat on the kid.
                       ADVENTURER (providing inspiration)
And just because it may not work
out, doesn't mean it's the end of
the world.
The Adventurer exits.
                       SECRET AGENT
You have to fight for what you
want, because women like active
men....in more ways than one.
The Secret Agent exits.
                       LUKE (stands up)
Wait! What if it doesn't work out
or what if problems start hap-
                       COWBOY (with force and emotion)
You adapt. You overcome. You
improvise. So get your thumb out
of your ass and make a move.
Luke remains speechless and looks down at the ground
thinking, then he looks up at the Cowboy.
                       LUKE (inspired)
A one second pause happens as Luke looks at the Cowboy and
the Cowboy quickly squints at him.


Well? Are you gonna pull out your
guns are start whistling dixie?
The Cowboy exist and Luke is left alone. After a couple of
seconds of contemplation, Luke looks at the phone and
approaches it. He hesitates touching it, but inevitably
                       LUKE (confidently)
You can do this.....you can do
this....you will do this.
Luke picks up the phone and quickly dials a number. A dial
tone is heard until it is picked up by Carrie, off-stage.
Only her voice is heard by the audience.
                       LUKE (a little nervous but gaining courage)
Hey Carrie, what's up?
                       CARRIE (excited)
Hey Luke what's up?
                       LUKE (with confidence)
Not much. Hey listen, I wanted to
ask you a question...


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From Jeffrey L Jones Date 8/30/2012 *
The script needs re-formatting. You're misusing your character cues. the parenthetical goes beneath the character cue. For instance: CARRIE (excited) Hey Luke what's up? should read CARRIE (excited) Hey Luke what's up? The field you are using for your parenthetical is actually more rarely used than the parenthetical. It's for designating whether a character's voice is on-screen or not or whether a person is in disguise, etc. For instance: CARRIE (O.S.) Hey Luke what's up? If you hear Carrie but don't see her. You're also overusing parentheticals. You shouldn't give acting direction in a script. Last, your script has a love affair with the fourth wall. The script should talk about itself. You keep mentioning how the next line will be delivered, which is an extension of the overused parenthetical. All of this made it difficult to judge the script, as I was noticing too many other things besides the story.

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