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Mr. Apathy
by Adam Beaton (redshoesrock@gmail.com)

Rated: G   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **
short sketch about a ride operator


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



MR. APATHY

EXT. AMUSEMENT PARK RIDE - DAY
                                                            
WILBUR is standing in front of the loading gates of a dark
ride. He looks very bored.
                                                            
A MOTHER and LITTLE GIRL walk up. They stand in front of
Wilbur, who stares blankly at them. The mother and little
girl wait patiently for Wilbur to say something.
                                                            
Wilbur picks his nose and wipes it on his shirt.
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (timidly)
Um...hello?
                                                            
                       WILBUR
      (startled)
What?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
We'd like to ride the ride,
please?
                                                            
                       WILBUR
What ride?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (points behind him)
That one right there?
                                                            
Wilbur turns around and stares at the ride, then turns back
around.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
Why?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (taken aback)
Um...well...because my daughter
wants to.
                                                            
                       LITTLE GIRL
      (proudly)
I'm nearly eight!
                                                            
                       WILBUR
      (long pause)
...So you're seven.
                                                            

2.

                       MOTHER
Anyway, we'd like to ride, please.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Just us.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Just us.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
It's...just us.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
We're the only ones here.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (getting
       frustrated)
Can't you see it's just us?
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Look, we're clearly the only
people here!
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Just me and my daughter!
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Myself and my offspring!
                                                            

3.

                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Her and me!
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Me and her!
                                                            
                       WILBUR
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
Alright, maybe we're not
understanding one another. The
only people in line to ride this
ride are myself and my little girl
here. That's it. That's all
there are. Just me, and just her.
So if there's just me...and
there's just her, then that makes
us...?
                                                            
                       WILBUR
      (long pause)
How many?
                                                            
                       MOTHER
      (angry)
Alright look, if you just say 'how
many' to us one more time, I swear
I'm going to call your manager. I
swear I will! So quit just saying
'how many'!
                                                            
Wilbur pauses for a while staring back and forth at the
mother and the little girl.
                                                            
                       WILBUR
      (to Mother)
Your daughter's ugly, how many?
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Emma Pence Date 3/17/2009 1/2
I don't quite get it, it seems kind of flat.

From Brianna Date 3/6/2009 ***1/2
Oh, goodness--this really made me laugh! Very well written. Great work! ^^


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