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Tonight, He Comes
by John Patrick Murray (johnpatrick.murray.01@gmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***
They live and love on Long Island.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. COLLEGE DORM ROOM - DAY
                                                            
A young man is alone in his bedroom watching a porno movie.
He is in the middle of pleasuring himself.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (out of breath)
Okay.... that's it right there....
Shit.... don't show the guy's ass!
No!!.... Where is the remote?
                                                            
Adam frantically reaches around for the remote. He knocks
over a bottle of hand lotion and a box of tissues.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Fuck!
                                                            
Adam climbs out of bed with one hand on his genitals and
looks around underneath his bed. He finds the remote and
grabs it. He then hops back into bed and under his covers.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Finally.... ok.... fast forward to
a nice shot her tits bouncing up
and down and....
                                                            
There is a knock on Adam's door.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (angrily)
WHAT?
                                                            
Adam's friend Dan is standing outside the door with a pizza
box.
                                                            
                       DAN
Hey dude - we just got a pizza.
You want some?
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (breathlessly)
Yeah, sure. Just give me a
minute.... I'm finishing up some -
some homework.
                                                            
                       DAN
Dude are you - are you whacking
off?
                                                            

2.

                       ADAM
      (panicking)
What? No? I'm uh.... I'm just
finishing up some Spanish
homework....I'll be right out!
                                                            
                       DAN
You don't take Spanish....
                                                            
Dan turns the doorknob but it is locked. He knocks on the
door again.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Dude I'll be right out! Just let
me finish this shit! God....
                                                            
                       DAN
      (laughing)
Okay, bro. Just please remember to
wash your hands before you eat any
of my pizza!
                                                            
                       ADAM
Dude shut up! I'm doing my
homework! I'll be right out....
                                                            
Adam returns to the task at hand and is close to finishing
up....
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (relaxed)
Oh yeah.... Oh yeah.... oh
no....Don't show the guy's
cock.... Son of a bitch....
                                                            
Adam reaches for the remote but the room is pierced by the
sound of his cell phone ringing.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (annoyed)
You gotta be kidding me....
                                                            
Adam reaches for his phone. He checks to see who is calling
but he does not recognize the number. He briefly considers
not answering the call but determines that he can't resist
finding out who the mystery caller is.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Hello?
                                                            

3.

INT. COLLEGE DORM ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Wendy is sitting alone in her room on her bed, wearing
nothing but her underwear.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Hello? Adam? It's Wendy - Wendy
Rhodes, from Biology.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Oh hi, Wendy, What's up?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Nothing much. I was just cramming
for this stupid test and I'm
really struggling with it. I was
wondering if you could tutor me. I
know how good you are in biology.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Tutor you? Me? Really? Yeah, sure!
I mean - I'd be happy to help you
with that.... with the biology.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Okay, great! I am about to go to
the gym but I could meet you later
tonight. Do you want to meet up at
the library.... say like 9ish?
                                                            
                       ADAM
The library? You could just come
over here. I can tell my roommates
to leave so it will be real
quiet....
                                                            
                       WENDY
      (laughing)
Yeah, ummm, I don't think that's
such a good idea. Last time I
tried to study at a guy's house it
lead to something else. Let's just
go to the library. I'll meet you
over there, okay?
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (disappointed)
Well, okay.... I'll see you there
at 9, then. Bye, Wendy.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Bye!
                                                            

4.

Adam hangs up the phone and leans back in his bed. He
reaches down inside his pants and closes his eyes.
                                                            
INT. ADAM'S DORM ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam is sitting on his bed reading his biology text. There
is a knock at the door.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Come in!
                                                            
Wendy walks in, hair flowing in the breeze. She is wearing a
very revealing sports bra and tight shorts.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (surprised)
Wendy? I thought you wanted to
meet me at the library.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Yeah, I know that's what I said
but I decided I couldn't wait. I
wanted to study with you right
away.
                                                            
Wendy walks over to Adam and sits next to him on his bed.
She takes the book out of his hands and places it on the
ground.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (confused)
Ummm.... Aren't we going to need
that book to prepare for the
biology test?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Oh, fuck biology. I'm not here to
learn about biology. I'm here to
learn about anatomy - your
anatomy.
                                                            
Wendy unbuttons Adam's shirt and starts rubbing his chest.
She then starts kissing his neck. Adam is shocked but starts
kissing her back. Wendy moans in pleasure and stands up. She
takes off her top and grabs Adam's hands, placing them on
her breasts. He starts kissing them and she moans and
giggles. After a few minutes of this, Wendy bends down and
unbuttons Adam's jeans. Adam sits back on his bed, smiling.
Wendy reaches into Adam's pants and grabs his penis.
                                                            
                       DAN
      (laughing from off
       camera)
Look how small his dick is! Oh my
            (MORE)

5.

                       DAN (cont'd)
God!
                                                            
Dan is standing outside Adam's window holding a slice of
pizza. His friend April, a very attractive blonde girl, is
standing next to him.
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (laughing)
Holy shit.... I think his hand has
to ask him if it's in yet!
                                                            
The sound of Dan's and April's laughter wakes Adam up and he
realizes he has been dreaming all along. Instead of being in
his room with Wendy, Adam is lying alone on his bed, with
his pants around his ankles, stroking his own penis.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (horrified)
What the fuck!
                                                            
Adam runs up to the window and closes the shades.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE ADAM'S WINDOW - DAY
                                                            
Dan and April are standing outside Adam's window, laughing
hysterically.
                                                            
                       APRIL
I can't believe you room with that
kid. He's so lame.
                                                            
                       DAN
Shut up, he's not that bad. He's a
cool kid. He just needs to get
laid. I mean really, really needs
to get laid.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Yeah, well I don't feel sorry for
him. I need to get laid, too. You
never come around any more....
                                                            
                       DAN
Bullshit. We just did it like last
week.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Are you serious? Dan that was over
2 months ago! Do you even know
what month this is?
                                                            

6.

                       DAN
Actually.... no. I pretty much
lost all sense of time when Grand
Theft Auto came out.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Well, you're not playing video
games right now, are you?
                                                            
                       DAN
      (confused)
What? No? I'm standing outside
with you....
                                                            
                       APRIL
God, you're dumb.
                                                            
                       DAN
What?
                                                            
April takes Dan's hand and starts leading him towards her
apartment complex.
                                                            
                       APRIL
It's a good thing the man upstairs
didn't give you a cock like your
roommates or you'd just be
completely useless....
                                                            
                       DAN
Huh?
                                                            
 
INT. APRIL'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
April opens the door and her and Dan walk in. Moans can be
heard coming from her bedroom.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Hello?
                                                            
April and Dan walk to her bedroom door and the moans get
louder and louder.
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (whispering)
That slut.
                                                            
April slowly opens her door and looks inside. Her roommate
Debbie, an attractive redhead, is naked on top of her
boyfriend, Travis, with her back to April, who gawks at the
two of them having sex and shuts the door.
                                                            

7.

                       APRIL
That slut Debbie is fucking her
boyfriend again. Those two never
stop!
                                                            
                       DAN
So? What do you care?
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (angrily)
Are you kidding me? I can't even
go into my room when Travis comes
over. Plus they are doing it on my
bed! That bitch better at least
wash my sheets this time.
                                                            
                       DAN
So what does this mean for us? Can
we use your other roommates'
bedroom?
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (thinking)
No.... Ashley and Mary are both
gone right now. And they always
lock their door.... Shit....
                                                            
                       DAN
Don't sweat it. I got an idea.
                                                            
Dan takes April by the hand and leads her into the bathroom.
He locks the door behind them and lifts April up onto the
bathroom counter.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Are you kidding me?
                                                            
                       DAN
Just shut up and go with it.
                                                            
Dan pulls off April's shorts and starts to go down on her.
She tilts her head back, knocking into the mirror.
                                                            
                       APRIL
Shit!
                                                            
                       DAN
Pace yourself, babe. It's going to
get a lot more physical than that.
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (skeptical)
I'll be the judge of that....
                                                            

8.

INT. APRIL'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Travis and Debbie are going at it on April's bed. Debbie is
on top of Travis, riding him.
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
      (out of breath)
Come on, slap my ass.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
What? Are you serious?
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
Just do it.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
I dunno, Deb. That doesn't seem
like a very good....
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
      (cuts him off)
Just do it!
                                                            
Travis gently smacks Debbie's butt.
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
      (mocking him)
Are you kidding me? I said smack
my ass. Smack it! Don't be a
faggot, Travis!
                                                            
Travis reaches back and smacks Debbie again, this time with
all his might.
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
What the fuck? That hurt! Oh my
God.... How could you do that me!
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Oh, give me a break. You know you
like it!
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
Seriously, that's gonna leave a
mark on my ass!
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (laughing)
Well maybe you shouldn't have
called me a faggot.... bitch.
                                                            

9.

Debbie gasps and starts laughing too. Travis sits up and
throws Debbie down on the bed. He then gets on top of her
and continues to have sex with her.
                                                            
 
INT. APRIL'S BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
April and Dan are both now totally naked. Dan is seated on
the toilet and April is in his lap facing him.
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (out of breath)
Well.... this isn't the most
romantic moment of my life.... but
I really needed this. I just never
thought I'd have sex on a
toilet....
                                                            
                       DAN
Really? I always assumed I'd have
sex on a toilet and was surprised
I still hadn't....
                                                            
                       APRIL
      (staring at Dan in
       disbelief)
Let's just stop talking.... Just
keep doing what you're doing
okay....
                                                            
The camera cuts back and forth between Dan and April in the
bathroom and Travis and Debbie in the bedroom until both
couples are finished. After they are done having sex, Dan
and April shower together and go into April's room, where
Debbie and Travis are getting dressed. They are still in
their underwear when Dan and April walk in.
                                                            
INT. APRIL'S BEDROOM - DAY.
                                                            
                       APRIL
So, did you guys have fun?
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
Yeah.... yeah it was fun....
Thanks for asking.
                                                            
                       APRIL
And....
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
And.... I really liked it?
                                                            

10.

                       APRIL
Debbie.... Come on....
                                                            
                       DEBBIE
And I will wash your sheets right
away. I promise.
                                                            
Debbie tears the sheets off April's bed and walks past April
and Dan towards the laundry room. Dan turns to watch as
Debbie walks away.
                                                            
                       DAN
      (to Travis)
Dude.... nice....
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, I know.... And you see that
big red mark on her ass? That was
me!
                                                            
                       DAN
      (excitedly)
No way! I was just going to ask
you about that! Nice....
                                                            
April glares at Dan.
                                                            
                       DAN
What?
                                                            
                       APRIL
You guys are idiots.
                                                            
April leaves the room and Dan follows behind her.
                                                            
                       DAN
April? Where are you going?
                                                            
April does not reply.
                                                            
                       DAN
Well, I'll talk to you later then,
okay? I'm gonna go home now....
play some Grand Theft Auto....
Okay? April?
                                                            
 
INT. ADAM'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam is staring out the window at the rain pouring down.
Bolts of lightning can be seen in the distance.
                                                            

11.

                       ADAM
Wow, it is really coming down out
there.
                                                            
The door opens and Dan and Travis walk in. They are both
soaking wet.
                                                            
                       DAN
Damn.... it's like a tysoon out
there. I'm drenched.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wait - do you mean it's like a
"Typhoon" out there or do you mean
it's like a "Monsoon" out there?
                                                            
                       DAN
What? Whatever. Travis and I are
going to play GTA. You want in?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Nah, I gotta get ready. I'm
meeting a girl over at the
library.
                                                            
                       DAN
Really? Is she one of your
professors or something?
                                                            
Travis and Dan laugh.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Dude.... shut up. I'm already mad
enough at you. I can't believe you
were actually spying on me from
the bedroom window. And with that
slut April of all people. What the
fuck, man? I thought we were boys.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
      (to Dan)
Dude, you were watching him from
his bedroom window?
                                                            
                       DAN
      (to Travis)
Yeah, dude, it was so funny. The
kid's in there whacking it with
his eyes closed. I've never seen
him look so focused.
                                                            

12.

                       ADAM
Dude, shut the fuck up! Damn....
What's your problem?
                                                            
                       DAN
      (stops laughing)
Oh right, sorry, man. It's just
that I bet April 100 bucks that
you were whacking off and she said
you were probably just studying or
talking to your mom on the phone
or something. I was trying to get
paid man!
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Did you?
                                                            
                       DAN
Actually.... no. That bitch
stiffed me! What the fuck.
                                                            
                       ADAM
So you spyed on me and embarassed
me and you didn't even get
anything out of it? Dude.... that
sucks, man.
                                                            
                       DAN
Well.... I wouldn't say I didn't
get anything from April today. She
did suck my dick and then let me
fuck her on the toilet. Plus I got
to fondle her titties in the
shower. I think we can call it
even.
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Nice, man. Those chicks are
freaks. Debbie was yelling at me
to slap her butt and pull her
hair. She's wild.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wait a minute - you guys both got
laid today? You guys are assholes.
What the fuck....
                                                            
Dan and Travis nod.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I'm gonna go get ready.
                                                            
Adam walks back towards his bedroom.
                                                            

13.

                       DAN
Don't worry about it, bro! Your
time will come. Maybe tonight it
will come!
                                                            
                       TRAVIS
Yeah, and maybe you'll actually
"Cum" with a girl this time.
                                                            
Dan and Travis laugh as Adam closes his bedroom door.
                                                            
 
EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam is walking alone through campus at night during a break
in the rain. He notices that some of the buildings have
their lights out and decides to call Wendy to see if she
still wants to meet him at the library.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (inner monologue)
Come on, Wendy.... Pick up....Pick
up.... Pick up.... Shit. Now what
am I gonna do? I have no way of
getting in touch with her and I
want to make sure she is
coming....
                                                            
A female student is walking by and overhears Adam.
                                                            
                       FEMALE PASSERBY
What'd you say? You want to make
sure I'm what? Coming?
                                                            
                       ADAM
What? No.... No.... I was talking
about someone else. I want to make
sure SHE comes.... Not you.... I
want her to come.
                                                            
                       FEMALE PASSERBY
Pervert.
                                                            
The female student walks away.
                                                            
                       ADAM
What? No! I just want to meet her
at the library! I want her to come
to the library!
                                                            
The female student stops and turns back to face Adam.
                                                            

14.

                       FEMALE PASSERBY
      (yelling)
Well, I wouldn't bother going to
the library! I just left there.
The power's out. No point in going
there until it's back on!
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (yelling back at
       her)
Really? Shit.... Well um.... Thank
you!
                                                            
Adam tries to call Wendy again and when there's no answer he
decides to go over to her dorm and see if she's there.
                                                            
 
INT. OUTSIDE WENDY'S DOOR - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam knocks on Wendy's front door and no one answers. The
door is slightly ajar so Adam opens it and walks in.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wendy?
                                                            
All the lights are out in Wendy's dorm due to the power
being out. Adam looks around the living room but Wendy is
nowhere to be found. He turns to leave but hears moans
coming from the bedroom door.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (nervously)
Wendy....?
                                                            
Adam approaches the bedroom door. He can hear moans coming
from both male and female voices.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (whispering to
       himself)
Oh my God.... If she's in there
with another guy I am definitely
not going to help her study....
                                                            
Adam nudges open the bedroom door and peeks inside. All the
lights are off but there are candles around the bed
providing a glimmer of light. The man is lying on his back
with the girl sitting on top of him with her back to him.
She is bouncing up and down and facing the door. Adam can
tell that the girl is a brunette like Wendy but he cannot
make out her face.
                                                            

15.

                       ADAM
      (very quietly)
Wendy?
                                                            
Adam gets as low as possible and starts crawling towards the
bed hoping for a better view. The girl's head is bouncing up
and down making it hard for Adam to identify her in the
dark. He crawls closer to the bed and crouches down a few
feet away from the couple. Once he is close enough, he can
tell that the girl is not Wendy.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (inner monologue)
Thank God.... Must be her
roommate.... Wow she has nice
tits....
                                                            
The guy is lying on his back and the girl's eyes are closed
so neither of them can see Adam despite the fact that he is
just a few feet away. Adam finds himself starting at the
couple, particularly the young lady who is riding her
boyfriend hard and dripping with sweat. Suddenly, Adam can
feel something rising up between his legs.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (inner monologue)
Shit.... Not now....
                                                            
Adam turns to crawl out of the room but it is very dark and
he finds it hard to navigate his way back to the front door.
Adam finally finds the doorway and, standing up to leave, he
hits his head on the doorknob and falls back.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Shit!
                                                            
The guy and girl both sit up.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Whose there? Hello? Wendy?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Ummm no.... My name is Adam.... I
was looking for Wendy.... I'm
sorry.
                                                            
Adam stands up and faces Kelly and her boyfriend.
                                                            
                       KELLY
I'm Kelly, her roommate. Can I ask
you something Adam?
                                                            

16.

                       ADAM
      (tentatively)
Yeah, sure.... Go for it.
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (voice rising)
If you are really looking for
Wendy, why the hell are you in my
room watching me fuck my
boyfriend?
                                                            
                       ADAM
I uh.... I'm really sorry. I'm
really sorry. I thought this was
Wendy's room. I'm sorry....
                                                            
                       KELLY
Wendy went to the library,
asshole. Except the power is
probably out there so I'm not sure
where she is now. But she sure as
hell isn't in here and you
shouldn't be either.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I know. I'm sorry. Sorry, guys.
                                                            
Kelly's boyfriend looks closely at Adam's crotch.
                                                            
                       GARY
Dude.... do you have a hardon?
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (yelling)
Get the hell out of here, dude!
                                                            
Adam turns and runs out the door and out of Wendy and
Kelly's apartment into the rain.
                                                            
                       GARY
Come here, baby. Where were we?
                                                            
                       KELLY
Can you believe that dipshit,
Gary? Where does Wendy meet these
losers?
                                                            
                       GARY
I know, I know. Forget about that
kid. Come here.
                                                            
Gary stands up and walks over to Kelly's desk. He sits down
in her desk chair and motions for her to come sit on top of

17.

him. Kelly briefly gives her boyfriend head to get him hard
again and then settles onto his dick and starts grinding
against him.
                                                            
                       KELLY
God that feels good.... I am
getting close, baby.
                                                            
                       GARY
So am I....
                                                            
                       KELLY
Well hold on, baby. I want to feel
you from behind.
                                                            
Kelly gets off her boyfriends lap and bends over right by
her window. Gary grabs hold of her tits and enters into her
from behind.
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (breathless)
Yeah, just like that.... Come on,
baby.
                                                            
                       GARY
Fuck that feels good.... You are
so hot.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Yeah, yeah, yeah, just like that.
Don't stop!
                                                            
Kelly's boyfriend grabs her shoulders and starts to give it
to her harder as they both moan in delight.
                                                            
                       KELLY
      (About to get off)
Oh yeah.... Oh yeah.... Don't
stop.... Oh my God..... OH MY GOD!
WHAT THE FUCK!
                                                            
Adam is standing outside Kelly's window staring at her and
her boyfriend. He has a very visible bulge sticking out of
his jeans.
                                                            
                       GARY
You are killing me dude!
                                                            
Adam continues to stand there in disbelief staring at
Kelly's breasts.
                                                            

18.

                       KELLY
Get the hell out of here you
psycho!
                                                            
Adam turns and runs away in the direction of the library.
                                                            
                       KELLY
I can't believe that guy.... I'm
seriously about to call campus
security. This is fucking
ridiculous.
                                                            
                       GARY
      (calming voice)
It's okay, it'll be okay, just
come back over here, baby. I need
you right now. Forget about that
kid.
                                                            
                       KELLY
No, I'm not in the mood any more.
I feel dirty. That kid saw my
entire body, Gary. I'm going to
take a shower.
                                                            
                       GARY
Cool, cool.... I'll join you.
                                                            
                       KELLY
Not right now, Gary. I told you -
I'm not in the mood for that any
more.
                                                            
Kelly grabs a towel and walks towards the bathroom.
                                                            
                       GARY
Well, wait a second. What am I
supposed to do about my....
situation here?
                                                            
Kelly turns on the water in the shower and closes the door.
                                                            
                       GARY
Kelly?.... Baby?
                                                            
Kelly says nothing and only the sound of the door locking
can be heard.
                                                            
                       GARY
Baby?.... Son of a bitch....
                                                            
Gary looks around the room at various magazines Kelly has on
her floor and on her desk. He finds one with Jennifer

19.

Aniston on the cover and another one with Jessica Simpson on
the cover.
                                                            
                       GARY
Guess I'll go with.... Rachel.
                                                            
Gary opens the magazine with Jennifer Aniston on the cover
and starts to jerk himself off.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE THE SCHOOL LIBRARY - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam is standing alone outside the library. All the lights
are off and there does not appear to be anyone inside. He
decides to try calling Wendy again. He dials her number but
no one answers and the call goes to voice mail.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (into his phone)
Wendy, it's Adam. Yeah, I'm
outside the library like we had
planned but I guess you're not
here. All the lights are off -
must be because of the power being
out.... Okay, you probably already
knew that so I don't know why I'm
telling you this.... Ummm....
yeah.... So I went by your room
earlier and saw your roommate. She
seems nice but she really
overreacted to me stopping by. Is
she like super moody or something?
Or is she just on her period? I
think she's crazy. I wouldn't
believe anything she says.... But
that's just me.... Whatever....
Well, um, call me back whenver you
get this. Talk to you later,
babe....
                                                            
Adam puts his phone back in his pocket and starts replaying
the message he has just left on Wendy's phone in his head.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (inner monologue)
Shit.... Did I just call her babe?
I don't think we're quite there
yet. Shit....
                                                            
Adam dials her number again and again the call goes to
Wendy's voicemail.
                                                            

20.

                       ADAM
      (into his phone)
Wendy? Yeah hi, it's Adam again.
Hey, I don't know if you noticed
but I called you "Babe" at the end
of my first message. (Adam laughs
nervously) Yeah, that's just
something my friends and I call
each other. Like a joke thing, you
know? Like "Hey babe, want to
shoot some hoops?" Like that....
So it doesn't really mean anything
or anything.... Not a big deal, ya
know? Anyways, I just wanted to
tell you that.... Give me a call,
okay? Later.... dude....
                                                            
Adam puts his phone away again and again ponders the message
he has just left.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (inner monologue)
Shit, did I just call Wendy
"Dude"? I don't want to end up in
the friend zone.... Then I'll
never have a chance to bang her!
Shit.... I better call her
back.... Wait, I might look like a
stalker if I do that. It's bad
enough that her roommate is going
to badmouth me to her. Do I really
want to leave her 3 consecutive
voice mails too? What the hell am
I gonna do....
                                                            
With sweat dripping from his brow, Adam reluctantly pulls
his phone back out, dials Wendy's number, and again reaches
only her voice mail.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (into the phone)
Hey Wendy.... It's Adam again.
Yeah, I just wanted to say that I
don't think of you as a dude or
anything. I just call people dude
a lot, you know like "Hey dude" or
"What's going on, dude?" It's not
a big deal or anything. I
definitely don't think of you as a
dude. You are very feminine. Very
pretty and you smell really
good....Not that I like make it a
habit to smell you or anything. I
just.... You know you smell really
            (MORE)

21.

                       ADAM (cont'd)
nice. What shampoo do you use?
Okay.... well I guess that's not
important right now.... Call me
back, okay? Cool....
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (out loud to
       himself)
You are such a fucking idiot.
                                                            
Feeling cold in the rain, Adam decides to go into the
library and sit down, hoping that Wendy will call him soon.
He turns the volume on his cell phone all the way up and
sits down in the lobby of the library.
                                                            
 
INT. LIBRARY LOBBY - NIGHT
                                                            
Adam dozes off and is awaken by the sound of his cell phone
ringing. He sees Wendy's number and he answers it.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Hello?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Adam? Hey, it's Wendy. I'm sorry I
didn't call you sooner. My phone
is getting terrible reception up
here.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (trying to act
       calm)
Oh, hey, Wendy. Where are you?
                                                            
                       WENDY
I'm at the library. Up on the 4th
floor. We're all trapped up here
because the elevator's not
working. It's miserable up here in
the dark. I'm kindof scared.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Well, I'll come up there and we
can be scared together.
                                                            
                       WENDY
What? Why would you be scared?
                                                            
                       ADAM
I uhh.... I don't know....
                                                            

22.

                       WENDY
      (laughing)
Relax, Adam. I'm just busting your
balls. But I don't think there's
any way you can get up here. The
elevator's are down and they don't
want us going down those rickety
old staircases in the dark. No
one's leaving.
                                                            
Adam looks over at the fire alarm in the corner of the
lobby.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Well - maybe I'll just give them a
reason to leave.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Huh? What do you mean? Adam?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Hold on, Wendy. I'll be right
there. Just don't move, okay? No
matter what happens - don't go
anywhere. I'll be there in a
second.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Well, okay.... I'll wait right
here.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Promise?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Yeah, I promise. Right here.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Hold on.
                                                            
Adam puts his phone down and walks over to the fire alarm.
He takes off his shirt and wraps it over his right fist. He
then smashes through the glass with his hand and pulls the
fire alarm. Sprinklers go off throughout the library and the
people on the upper floors start to run down the stairs
towards the exits.
                                                            
Adam starts to fight his way through the crowds, heading up
the stairs towards the 4th floor. He fights his way through
masses of people and the rain. His white shirt, wrapped
around his hand, is now soaked through in blood. He finally
arrives at the 4th floor and walks in. Everyone has cleared

23.

out except for one girl sitting in the corner of the room
alone. It's Wendy.
                                                            
                       WENDY
Adam?
                                                            
Wendy stands up and faces Adam. She is completely soaked and
her chest is very visible through her white shirt.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Told you I'd come up here and keep
you company.
                                                            
Wendy rushes to Adam and throws her arms around her, kissing
him passionately. With Adam's help she pulls off her shirt
and pulls down her pants. Adam starts kissing her neck as
the sprinklers continue to shower down on them. The sound of
fire engines can be heard in the distance.
                                                            
                       ADAM
We better hurry. The fire
department will be here any
second.
                                                            
                       WENDY
No problem.
                                                            
Wendy pulls off her panties and removes her bra. She goes
over to one of the large conference tables and sits on top
of it, spreading her legs. Adam walks over to her and pulls
down his pants.
                                                            
                       WENDY
      (looking at Adam's
       crotch)
Wow.... Just go easy on me, okay?
I'm a virgin and I don't think I
can handle that elephant cock of
yours.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (laughing)
I'll be gentle, baby.
                                                            
As the sprinklers shower down on the two of them, Adam
finally makes love to Wendy in the middle of the dark
library. He is gentle and loving and in the end they cum
together just as the fire fighters enter the building. Adam
takes Wendy's hand and leads her into another room.
Giggling, they hide behind a table, hoping to avoid being
seen.
                                                            

24.

                       WENDY
That was incredible, Adam. I think
I'm falling in love with you.
                                                            
                       ADAM
I love you too, Wendy. You are the
most wonderful girl I've ever met.
                                                            
The fire fighters walk in and notice the pile of wet clothes
on the floor. They walk over towards where Adam and Wendy
are hiding.
                                                            
                       FIREFIGHTER
Hello? Is anybody here?
                                                            
Wendy giggles and Adam covers her mouth.
                                                            
                       FIREFIGHTER
Hey! What are you doing? Hey, what
are you doing, kid?
                                                            
 
INT. LIBRARY LOBBY - DAY
                                                            
It's the next morning and Adam has been asleep all night in
the library lobby. A janitor is trying to wake him up.
                                                            
                       JANITOR
Hey! What are you doing? Kid? What
are you doing?
                                                            
Adam wakes up and realizes he has dreamed the whole thing
with Wendy.
                                                            
                       JANITOR
Finally. Hey kid you can't be
sleeping in here. Don't you have a
dorm room or something?
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (groggily)
Yeah.... yeah I got a dorm room.
                                                            
                       JANITOR
Well, I suggest you go sleep
there. Not in the library. Okay?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. I'm going
home now.
                                                            
                       JANITOR
Oh, and kid?
                                                            

25.

                       ADAM
Yeah?
                                                            
                       JANITOR
Zip up your fly, okay?
                                                            
Adam looks down and realizes his pants are undone.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Son of a bitch....
                                                            
Adam zips up his pants and hurries out the door, walking
back towards his dorm. He sees Wendy sitting alone on a
bench in the quad.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wendy? Hey, what's up?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Oh, hey, what's up Adam?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Nothing much. I'm just sorry we
couldn't study last night. You
think you'll be ready for the bio
test today?
                                                            
                       WENDY
Oh yeah, I'll be fine. I went over
to the library early last night to
meet up with you but the power was
out. Anyways, I ran into that guy
Jake - you know the basketball
player in our class? Anyways, he
told me was studying for the test
too and invited me to come over
and study with him.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wait.... whose Jake? Is he the....
                                                            
                       WENDY
      (cutting him off)
You know, Jake. The big, tall
black guy. Plays basketball.
Always wears those huge shoes.
He's like a size 17 (laughs)
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (faking laughter)
So.... did you learn anything?
                                                            

26.

                       WENDY
Well, no.... not really. But I'm a
lot more relaxed. Anyways, i gotta
go. I'll see you in class, okay?
                                                            
                       ADAM
Wait, Wendy? How come you didn't
return any of my calls last night.
I thought you wanted to study with
me.
                                                            
                       WENDY
What? Oh, yeah.... My phone has
been dead the last few days.
                                                            
                       ADAM
Your phone was dead? Well then how
did you call me yesterday?
                                                            
                       WENDY
I just used my roommate's phone.
You know her right? Kelly Winters.
See ya later, Adam!
                                                            
Wendy runs off towards another building.
                                                            
                       ADAM
      (to himself)
Fuck me....
                                                            
Adam sits down on the ground in the middle of the campus as
the camera pulls away.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From David Chase Date 3/30/2009 *1/2
Other than a few humorous images, I didn't find this overly funny. The main problem is that I didn't buy it. Unless the school is run by Larry Flynt, I have a hard time believing that everyone is getting it on all the time. Too many holes in logic, including the fact that no one seems to lock their doors or pull their blinds down even though they're in compromising positions. And there's no character arc for Adam. If he grows, or achieves some type of goal, I'd consider rating this higher.

From Daniel Date 3/4/2009 ****
I loved this script. Really funny. I am surprised that something this crude was allowed to be posted at ScriptBuddy but thought it was great either way. My only complaint - I wished it was longer. Nice job.

From SEB Date 3/3/2009 ****
I Love ADAM I want him! :D

From Will Date 2/25/2009 ***1/2
Dude I thought it was pretty funny. You were a little heavy on the sex but a lot of the situations felt funny. Pretty sweet but Im no pro. Not full length movie length but easily like 30 min long. Overall funny and pretty cool. I really liked it.


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