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The Set List
by The Conley Brothers (pconley2022@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

All four stoner members of the local hit band SWEET HABIT are prepared to play their first BIG gig. They run into a handful of problems including roided-up twins, big fat friends, chicken and a dorky waiter, all on their way to PRACTICE. That combined with underlying personal and professional problems make this the craziest day of their lives. Will they be able to pull off the gig? Will they even make it through the night?

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


DARREN and JIMMY sit in beanbag chairs smoking a blunt and
playing video games. Freeze frame on JIMMY coughing. (JIMMY
SUITE - Rhythm Guitar, Lead Vocals)
Roses are red, violets are blue...
Violets are violet, bro.
Freeze Frame on DARREN eating a chip. (DARREN "Sweets" SUITE
- Lead Guitar)
Makes sense. I always heard it the
other way, but, makes sense.
Yeah, that's a common
                                         FADE INTO
JIMMY and DARREN sing a song. Smoke coming out of both of
their mouths.
                                         DISSOLVE TO
JIMMY and DARREN still playing video games in a smoke filled
Who came first, the chicken, or
the farmer that fucked it?
JIMMY laughs hysterically. DARREN bows. JIMMY stops and
looks sick.
Can chickens do that?
                                         FADE INTO
JIMMY sleeping. DARREN's face is red and his cheeks are
puffed out. He blows out a huge cloud of smoke and starts


                                         FADE INTO
DARREN sleeping. There is a dog next to JIMMY. JIMMY takes a
hit and blows it in the dog's face.
JIMMY nudges DARREN. DARREN doesn't respond.
Darren, hey.
DARREN doesn't stir.
Hey, Darren. Did you get a dog?
                                         FADE INTO
DARREN sleeping. JIMMY takes a rip off the bong and holds in
the smoke. DARREN, still sleeping, blows out smoke along
with JIMMY.
It's morning. JIMMY walks to the kitchen with a spring in
his step. DARREN chuckles.
I can't believe we're playing our
first real show tonight! No more
bars, no more school dances. A
real club...
DARREN and JIMMY say "The Thrash Club!" in unison and give
each other a high five. JIMMY sits down next to DARREN with
a bowl of cereal.
Here's the set list for tonight
slash to do list for the day. Now
we get the boys, practice, then
JIMMY hands DARREN a sheet of paper. DARREN grabs a pen and
starts writing on it.
First of all you neglected to put
groupies down on this list. But
thats important later. Right now
its time to wake and bake!


JIMMY quickly slurps the rest of his cereal and puts his
bowl down. DARREN lights two joints and gives one to JIMMY.
They both take a hit and blow smoke in each others faces.
They take another hit.
      (holding in smoke)
Man, I was DONE last night. One
minute I'm rocking out, the next
I'm waking up with a bad taste in
my mouth.
      (exhales smoke)
Sorry bro. My bad.
JIMMY punches him in the arm and they both laugh.
So, anything interesting happen
after I passed out?
More than you think...
Yeah? What does that mean?
DARREN points to his beanbag chair and smiles. JIMMY hits
his joint again and waits for a response.
I beat right there.
JIMMY starts coughing and DARREN laughs. JIMMY finally
      (his voice horse)
Where was I?
DARREN points to JIMMY's beanbag.
Bullshit? I speak truth. The phone
rang, I answered it. It was some
chick asking for Renee. I said
she's not here, but I am. And the
rest is history little brother.


                                         CUT TO
(While DARREN is talking) JIMMY is asleep on his beanbag
chair. DARREN reaches for the phone. He mouths, "Wrong
number," and hangs up the phone and picks back up his
                                         BACK TO PRESENT
I gave her directions, she came
over, and we beat. Don't shake
your head. It's all a matter of
having the know-how, and putting
it into action.
                                         CUT TO
(Again, while DARREN is talking) He changes the TV to a soft
core porn and starts jerking off. He keeps glancing over at
JIMMY to make sure he didn't wake up.
                                         BACK TO PRESENT
      (looking around)
We should really get a bigger
JIMMY looks skeptical. DARREN points to his bean bag again
and smiles.
      (shaking his head
       and laughing)
Ok whatever you say, bro. Sorry I
asked hahaha. Lets just go get the
boys and practice.


DARREN and JIMMY pull up to NICK's apartment complex and
honk the horn. Moments later NICK walks groggily down the
stairs. He almost trips but catches himself. JIMMY and
DARREN laugh.
      (head out the
Rise and shine bitch!
Damn it's too early...
It's passed noon, Nick.
Freeze frame on NICK's shocked look. (NICK RYAN - bass).
DARREN and JIMMY laugh and they drive off. JIMMY lights a
blunt and hands it to NICK.
Here maybe this will help wake you
      (holding up the
I don't know what you guys got in
here but I'm pretty sure this'll
knock me back out.
Just hit it, joesh.
      (turned around)
Nick, our first big show tonight!
Get pumped man! With the following
we already have, going into a real
club venue! There might even be a
suit there.... This is it! Well it
could be it. I don't want to jinx
it. Quick! Someone knock on wood!


NICK knocks on DARREN's head. JIMMY and NICK laugh. DARREN
      (back to Jimmy)
Oh I am pumped. But it'll show
through more after I wake up. And
I don't know, eat maybe... Let's
cruise through the Chicken King.
DARREN and JIMMY both groan.
I don't know man. I just had some
Every time bro! Day after day I'm
force fed fuckin chicken, just
cause you got a hard on for Jenny!
      (semi timid)
Yeah, but...
I know man. It's time you talked
to her, for us. Well, for you, and
for us.
I am. I...
Yeah bro then we could get a
fucking burger!
      (to Nick)
He needs hot beef!
DARREN starts coughing and laughing. NICK and JIMMY laugh
It's gonna happen guys. I just
gotta pick my spot. No more
One more. A quick one. You've
worked with her for a year dude!
You hang out with her all the


                       DARREN (cont'd)
time! Your spot should've come
You don't think I know that? I
actually pulled my shit together
and tried last week, but Fat
Rhonda ran interference again!
Always a Big Fat friend. She just
needs a little play Nicky. You
know Dee could help you with that.
Yeah, take him there and have him
run, couter, interference.
Yeah, maybe. But that doesn't
change what happened on Friday.
What happened?
The guys pull up to DEE's house and knock on the door. NICK
begins his story but gets cut off by the door opening.
Hey boys!
All three respond "Hey Mom!" She waves them in and gives
them all hugs.
Come on in. Low life is downstairs
stinking up the place. Wake him up
and kick him in the ass for me!
They laugh and head down to the basement.


The basement is big and there are a lot of posters. There
are drums and other instruments set up. DEE is in bed,
naked. His blanket is half off him and his ass is sticking
out. His alarm is still going off. DARREN slaps his ass
      (as he slaps)
Wake up sexy!
Freeze frame on DEE holding his ass. (DALTON "Dee" REYNOLDS
- drummer).
Ah! Not cool dude...
Come on bro! Tonight could be it
and we need to practice!
      (lays head back
Not right now its not. Hey, Sweets
will you hand me those pants?
Dee, you still going cowboy?
You're gonna wind up with skid
marks on your jeans!
Just be careful where you grab
them, then. I feel free. And
besides, who's gonna see the inner
ass on my pants?
I'd be more worried about the
skids seeping through to the
DEE smiles and DARREN makes a face and throws him the pants.
Ok guys let's get going. Time is


Hold on. Nick needs to finish his
Theme of the day - Practice,
practice, practice.
      (to Nick)
What story is that?
They all turn to face NICK. NICK takes a deep breath.
Go ahead, Nicky.
Alright, um.... oh yeah. I thought
Fat Rhonda was off, and I saw
Jenny in the freezer...
JENNY is arranging the walk in freezer. NICK walks up to the
door but turns around before he actually got in.
NICK walks away from the freezer and you can see him in the
background. NICK stomps his feet and smacks himself in the
face a couple times. He walks back towards the freezer but
actually goes in this time.
      (hoarse, then
       overly cool)
Hey Jenny! Hey, Jenny.
Nick! What's up?
FAT RHONDA pushes her way into the freezer and between JENNY
and NICK. She talks loudly. NICK wipes his hands on his
                       FAT RHONDA
Hey what's going on here?
Something stinks! Showering,


      (annoyed but
Hey, Rhonda. I thought you were
off today?
JENNY gets called away. FAT RHONDA gives NICK a weird look
and he tries his best to return it.
                       FAT RHONDA
Keep dreaming.
NICK opens his mouth to retort, but nothing comes out and he
stops trying and walks away.
                       FAT RHONDA
Hey Nick!
NICK spins around and FAT RHONDA flashes him her bare chest.
He gags and runs away. JENNY comes back. She looks all
around and behind FAT RHONDA.
Where's Nick?
                       FAT RHONDA
I think he ran home to take a
FAT RHONDA walks away hastily. JENNY turns around and looks
questioningly at another co-worker.
Have you seen Nick?
I heard he went home sick.
                                         BACK TO PRESENT
And I can only imagine what else
was said to her and what my
chances are now.
Fuckin Joe! You actually left?


Who's Joe? Why do you keep saying
Ok, joesh, or the shortened joe,
is just my way of calling you a
pussy, bro! You LEFT work? It was
just a fat set of titties!
Which I would love to help you
handle, b-t-dub.
      (to NICK)
Told you.
They all laugh and DEE pulls out a bag of pre-rolled joints
and blunts.
      (to Dee)
You can come to work with me and
distract her?
I'm there. But first , let's get
down to business!
They all go to their designated seats, which are positioned
in a circle.
The guys pass around a couple blunts. There is a lot of
smoke and coughing. JIMMY hits the blunt and holds in smoke.
Britney Spears comes on the radio. Everyone sighs.
Man change that station one more
      (loud and suddenly)
She fucking lip synchs!
Everyone laughs. DARREN takes the blunt.
No shit dude.


      (gets more angry
       as he goes on)
I'm just saying, its impossible to
sing flawlessly and do all those
dance moves. and it's obviously
her dancing, cause you can't fake
that. Dancing is an art, too. If
she wants to charge people to come
watch her dance to her music,
thats fine by me. And it's not
like she doesn't have, ANY, decent
songs, but why make people feel
stupid for paying money to watch
her mouth move? It just makes her
look dumb and I'd rather she
didn't insult people and just drop
the whole charade.
Everyone is laughing. DEE is coughing hard.
Man you're really serious about
this! Did you go to one of her
shows and not tell us about it?
      (starts mellow but
       gets mad again)
No. I would pay to watch her dance
in those tight ass pants though.
Well, if I had good seats anyway.
If I'm far back I won't be able to
see anything anyway. And yeah I
can watch on the screen but I
might as well watch her videos on
the internet. But fuck going to a
show if it makes her think she
tricked me into thinking she's
really singing up there. She
thinks I'm stupid? I'm not fucking
Everyone stops laughing and looks around. DARREN takes the
blunt away from JIMMY.
I think you've had enough little
                                         CUT TO UPSTAIRS


The guys come out of the basement followed by a cloud of
smoke. MAGGIE passes them on their way out. MAGGIE smiles
when she sees them. She jumps into the cloud and tries to
breathe in some of the smoke.
      (casts a longing
       look at Jimmy)
Hey guys. Hey Jimmy.
Hey Maggie.
Morning, sis.
The others nod. She messes up DEE's hair and laughs.
You mean afternoon, Dalton?
DEE pinches her. She laughs and smacks him in the arm.
You dick! That hurt!
I told you not to call me that.
You have to accept the
MAGGIE walks away as the guys head for the door. DEE's MOM
calls out to them.
      (from kitchen)
Bye guys!
They all yell, "Bye Mom!" and exit the house. They are
walking side-by-side in a horizontal line. Freeze Frame on
the group. (SWEET HABIT).
They continue towards the Saturn and are halfway there when
MOM comes out of the house.
Dee! I forgot to give you


They all turn around and she throws DEE and bag with a few
joints in it.
Good luck tonight! Have fun and
I'll see you guys there! Sweet
Habit yow!
DARREN honks the horn and they all wave and drive away.
MOM walks back inside, closes the door and looks around.
MAGGIE enters the livingroom. MOM sits on the couch.
Yeah, Mom?
You are going tonight, right?
MAGGIE sits on the couch next to MOM.
I want to but, I don't know if
I'll be able to enjoy it. I get
nervous watching them play.
All of them, or just Jimmy?
MOM lights lights a joint and passes it to MAGGIE. MAGGIE
hits it and slowly calms down. She passes it back.
      (holding up the
       joint and talking
       out of the side
       of her mouth)
I'll be there.
MOM hits it and hands it back to MAGGIE. MAGGIE thinks for a


You always know how to get through
to me. But don't say anything to
Jimmy, or Dee.
Look who you;re talking to, Mags.
It's a tough situation. You'll
tell them both how you feel when
you're ready.
      (hugging MOM)
Thanks. Hey do you think Jimmy,
might like me, too?
He'd be a damn fool not to. But
hey, let's go buy you an outfit
that'll really test him!
JIMMY lights two of the joints MOM gave them and passes them
Gentlemen, we're gonna smoke these
and then get ready to eat.
They guys chant, "Eat! Eat! Eat!" JIMMY motions for silence.
Then practice, you animals!
      (to Jimmy)
Chill brother. We're with you.
Practice, practice baby! But
first, we feast!
DARREN hits the joint and passes it to the back.
Hell yeah! Let's put on some
tunes, man.
Have you guys heard the new Jonas
Brothers CD?
JIMMY is facing the backseat. DARREN taps him.


Please, Jimmy, not now. Go on
about practice.
What do you mean, not now?
DARREN notices the look on JIMMY's face. JIMMY lets out a
cloud of smoke before he starts to talk.
      (rolling his eyes)
Here it comes.
I'm sorry guys, but I love the
Jonas Brothers! They rock!
DARREN chuckles. DEE and NICK start coughing and choking.
DEE composes himself while NICK hacks after a
gag-cough-fart-burp combonation.
      (to Nick)
No chunks in the Saturn!
Everyone laughs as NICK sticks his head out the window. DEE
addresses JIMMY.
Dude. They're a Disney Channel
      (getting intense)
Technically, yes. Which is why I
hated them at first. But think
about it. Disney Channel doesn't
care whether or not someone has
talent or ability. If they think
you got the look, they want to
make you a star. And then they
shove that person down our
fuck-ing throats!
NICK brings himself back in.
      (to Nick)
You ok, dude?


Yeah. Are you?
DARREN and DEE start laughing. DARREN starts coughing. JIMMY
shakes it off and continues.
      (getting more
They shove them down our throats!
I'm talking TV shows, music
videos, video games for ALL
platforms, lunchboxes, posters,
magazines, beauty supplies,
movies, SEQUELS!!! I have always
considered myself an open-minded
person, so I gave them a shot. And
I'll be damned if the channel that
is Disney hadn't inadvertantly
stumbled upon a group of pretty
boys that can fuckin jam!
Everyone is shocked and silent. They look at each other in
hopes of help. DARREN chuckles. DEE and DARREN both take the
joints from JIMMY and throw them out the window.
      (looks longingly
       out the window)
Whatev guys, but I kid you not.
So are they better than Hannah
JIMMY glares at NICK.
Man, FUCK Hannah Montana! And
Brooke Hogan. Assuming they have a
lot of say so on their shows, why
would you portray yourself as a
bitch!? Forgetting the name of the
city you just preformed in?
Getting your bodyguard fired
because he's ugly and won't let
you slut it up? Sure it was a show
but what is that about? That's not
funny. "Thanks for supporting my
talentless ass! And to repay you
I'll put on a concert


                       JIMMY (cont'd)
demonstrating my lack of abilities
and then I'll forget the name of
your hometown!" And people just
eat it up. If I liked her before
that I wouldn't after. I'd imagine
the only good thing about going to
a Hannah Montana show would be the
hopes that her dad would come out
and do "Achy Breaky Heart!"
They all laugh as they pull into the Chicken King drive
thru. DARREN pulls forward so NICK can order from the back
                       FAT RHONDA
Welcome to Chicken King. How may I
serve you?
Shit it's Rhonda.
DEE jumps on NICK's lap, forcing him to scoot over. DEE
sticks his head out the window. JIMMY lights another joint
and hits it. He hands the joint to DARREN.
Hey sexy voice. I'm good right now
but are there and services I can
perform for you?
                       FAT RHONDA
Yeah. You can order.
Oh sassy! I could order but what
would be the point? All I really
want is you...
DEE looks for the guys responses. No reply from FAT RHONDA.
Can I have an large Rhonda? Extra
FAT RHONDA sighs loudly over the intercom. The other guys
are laughing. NICK looks skiddish. He jumps over DEE.


Rhonda, hey! It's Nick. Sorry bout
that. Is Jenny there by chance?
                       FAT RHONDA
Yes........to work. She doesn't
have time to flirt with you,
Fat bitch. Well in that case give
me a twelve piece with four extra
biscuits. Mashed potatoes and corn
cobs for the sides. And four large
                       FAT RHONDA
One stoner special coming up.
NICK laughs nervously.
                       FAT RHONDA
I know you work here and all, but
do you need directions to the
FAT RHONDA is still talking shit as they pull around. They
get to the window.
                       FAT RHONDA
Twenty-one dollars and seventy-two
Do you believe in love at first
                       FAT RHONDA
      (with a dirty look)
Dee looks forward and rolls up his window. Then he rolls it
back down and stares at Rhonda.
      (with a smile)
Hi there.


                       FAT RHONDA
      (turns around,
       then back to Dee)
Jenny! Please come here! I can't
afford afford another strike.
That's a shitty way to take a
Well, she doesn't have a lot of
      (jokingly to Nick)
You don't talk about her that way!
FAT RHONDA is in the background and can hear what they are
saying. She rolls her eyes and lets out a sigh.
I just want to get to practice
      (to Rhonda)
What have I said to upset you my
                       FAT RHONDA
JENNY comes to the window and looks out.
      (looking mostly at
Sweet Habit! Rock on! Whats up
guys? Nick?
NICk freezes and DARREN speaks up.
The usual. Smokin, chillin. a
little rockin out. And, of course,
swinging by the CK so Joe can do
his thing.
The guys laugh. NICK puts his head down. JIMMY motions for
NICK to pick his head up. NICK gets the point and snaps out
of it.


Nevermind that. You coming to the
show tonight?
Oh yeah I wouldn't miss it. Hey!
You guys want to try our new
Deluxe Meal Caddy?
JENNY flashes massive, very solid looking meal carriesrs in
the window for the guys to see. They all exchange looks.
No I think we're good. When did we
get those?
Just today. They are only a
JENNY wiggles the meal caddy. NICK thinks.
Come on, Nick! The first person to
unload twenty of these gets movie
passes! And if I win, I still
haven't decided who I'm taking...
Okay, Jenny. If it means that much
to you.
DEE is out of the back passenger window. He is looking in
the drive thru window and can see FAT RHONDA behind JENNY.
He starts making kissy faces at her and sticking his tongue
out. She gives him a dirty look and flips him off.
DARREN and JIMMY are laughing. NICK reaches in his back
pocket and produces something for JENNY.
Hey, Jenny. Here, it's a band
guest pass. It'll get you in for
JENNY hands them the Deluxe Meal Caddy with everything they
ordered and takes the pass.


Thanks, Nick! I'll definitely see
you there. Let me know how the
caddy works.
Alright. Later, Jenny.
Tell your friend to come too.
Yeah, but she has to pay.
DARREN chuckles. They start to pull away slowly when FAT
RHONDA busts out of the side door looking angry. The guys
all freak out and JIMMY reaches his leg over DARREN's and
steps on the gas. They peel out and shoot onto the street,
almost taking out an oncoming hatchback. Both cars spin out
and finally come to a stop. The Deluxe Meal Caddy didn't
budge. They all nod impressed.
Everybody ok?
      (holding his chest)
Ya man.
      (out of breath)
The caddy worked nicely.
JENNY yells from the drive-thru window.
Hey you guys alright!?
NICK gets out of the Saturn to address JENNY.
Yeah. Hey the caddy worked great.
Worth the dollar.
Nick, look out!
NICK turns around. JIMMY and DARREN turn around and ask
what. NICK quickly gets back in the Saturn.
Oh fuck!


      (looking forward)
Oh shit, shit, shit, shit!
Two crackhead looking guys step oout of the hatchback they
almost took out. One tall and skinny, the other short and
stout. Freeze frame on crackheads. (Otis and Dave -
crackheads). Otis and Dave start walking towards the Saturn.
DARREN quickly tries to restart the car, but it won't work.
He keeps trying. Nothing.
      (walking towards
       the Saturn)
Hey, boys. That's a pretty nice
car you got there.
Oh fuck, fuck!
Yeah. And I think I see some
chicken and biscuits, too.
Go! Go man go! Go!
They slowly get closer. DARREN keeps trying to start the
Saturn but it's still not working. They get right by the
back passender door. Otis taps on DEE's window. DEE and NICK
jump into a scared embrace. Otis leans in. His false teeth
keep falling down as he talks.
Either of you ever done time?
      (screams like a
Just then the car roars to life and they speed off. OTIS and
DAVE chase them for a second but soon stop.
Hey, you bastards get back here!


They fly up an incline with railroad tracks at the top. They
fly through the air. As soon as they hit the ground, the
Deluxe Meal Caddy gives, throwing chicken, Coke, and sides
everywhere. DARREN stops and freaks out.
My car man! My car! My car....
JIMMY slaps him and tells him to snap out of it. He gets it
together and starts the car back up. They drive around
looking for some place to clean up. They pull into the
LuckStop Hotel and Bar.
After the guys enter the LuckStop, LESLIE walks around the
corner smoking a cigarette. She flicks the cigarette and
enters the bar.
LESLIE sits at the bar and orders a drink. She pulls some
chap stick out of her purse and puts some on. She goes to
put it back but drops it. It rolls down her leg and across
the floor. She walks to it and bends over to pick it up.
The guys go are cleaning up in the bathroom. DARREN is the
first one out. He spots LESLIE bending over. She stands
straight up and glances at him. He hears music and sees her
move in slow motion.
He smiles, she smiles back and sits at the bar. JIMMY comes
out of the bathroom. DARREN taps him and points to the girl
at the bar.
Hey! There's victim #21!
Cold. But, dude, practice?
Come on little brother. You know
this won't take that long. Can't I
just lay some groundwork?
Fine. Let me know how that goes.
I'm gonna go tell Nick and Dee to
hurry so we can get to pracice
before we have to play our HUGE
gig tonight.


Yes. HUGE gig. I'm just as serious
about it as you, bro. Be back in
JIMMY shakes his head and walks into the bathroom. DARREN
heads towards the bar.
Hurry up guys. Every second we
waste is a crucial distraction for
Why, whats up?
They all walk out of the bathroom. They spot DARREN at the
bar. He orders a drink and turns to LESLIE. He pulls a
folded piece of paper from his pocket.
Damn he's doing it again. We need
to practice!
I know dude, but we've never
sounded better. Relax, and let him
do his thang.
      (to Nick)
Hey Nick, help me clean the Saturn
They let DEE know where they'll be and exit the bar. DEE
seems more interested in watching DARREN work.
                                         CUT TO DARREN
      (to Leslie)
Excuse me. I think you dropped
DARREN extends the folded piece of paper to her. She looks
at it for a second and takes it from him.
I'm sorry, what was your name?


Leslie. That's a nice name. And it
is a pleasure to meet you. My name
is Darren Suite, but people call
me Sweets.
Sweets huh?
Yeah. So tell me, Leslie, do you
like music?
Who doesn't?
Is that a rhetorical question?
Cause I know a couple people.
So tell me, Darren... Sweets, is
there a reason you want to talk
Well, I'm in a band. I thought it
might score me some points.
Really? What's your bands name?
Sweet Habit.
Sweet Habit? I've heard of you
guys. Supposed to be good.
DARREN smiles and winks at DEE.
I'd love to hear you play
      (leaning forward)
Maybe you will. Maybe, it will be
sooner than you think.
She smiles and bends down to get a drink. DARREN gives DEE a
thumbs up. DEE gives it back. A big girl slides in between
DARREN and LESLIE. DARREN turns around and gasps in shock.


What the?!?!
I'm Leslie's sister, Marie. Who
the hell are you!?
Marie, no!
MARIE grabs DARREN by the collar of his shirt and lifts him
into the air. DEE is laughing, Darren frantically motions
for DEE to come help.
I don't think our BOYFRIENDS would
take to kindly to this!
DEE rushes up and slicks back his hair. He talks in a
delicate, soothing voice.
Hi there. What seems to be the
problem beautiful?
He makes a sad face. MARIE glares and throws DARREN at him.
They both fall to the floor.
Come on Leslie. Let's go to
MARIE grabs her arm and pulls her towards the door. LESLIE
unfolds the piece of paper DARREN gave her and its a guest
pass for their show with DARREN's number on it. She looks
back at him before she is pulled out of his sight.
Mackey's it is.
NICK and JIMMY are cleaning out the Saturn. JIMMY looks
upset. NICK puts on some music.
You guys have no idea why I'm so
eager to get to practice, do you?


I get it, Jimmy. We all do. We
have a huge gig tonight and we all
know how important it is.
That's not it. You guys don't get
it at all. You know, sometimes it
makes me doubt, well, all of this.
JIMMY ties off a trash bag and opens another. NICK takes a
bite of a piece of chicken that was on the floorboard and
pulls a hair out of his mouth. He spits the bite back out
into his bag and continues cleaning.
Don't talk like that man. We are
all in this together until the
end. And don't worry so much about
tonight, we'll all show up, and
kill it.
Yeah. Maybe I am overreacting a
Maybe. You know you don't have to
take all the responsibility, bro.
We're a band, and we're here for
you. No, not for you. WITH you.
JIMMY puts a few empty bottles and cans in his bag.
Man his car was dirty as hell
before the chicken attacked us.
They finish cleaning out the Saturn and decide to smoke a
joint while they wait for DARREN and DEE. JIMMY sparks it
and hands it to NICK.
But you're right man. I need to
lighten up.
NICK hits the joint and starts coughing wildly. JIMMY starts
laughing. He takes the jay from NICK.
Arms in the air man. You good?


NICK nods and JIMMY hands him the joint again. NICK starts
coughing again and fumbles the joint. JIMMY catches it
before it falls in NICK's lap.
Good catch, my friend. Hell yeah!
Just be careful.
I got it, man. Hey check this out.
I found it under the seat.
NICK hands JIMMY a magazine entitled, "Senior Sex." Old
women in leather making "O" faces dawned the cover. JIMMY
laughs and flips through it.
Oh damn. Some of the pages are
stuck together!
JIMMY throws the magazine at NICK. NICK puts it back under
the seat and hits the joint again. He goes to pass it but it
sticks to his lip. He starts freaking and it falls into his
lap. He freaks out more and JIMMY tries, but can't control
him. JIMMY opens NICK's door and yanks him out onto the
blacktop. JIMMY is laughing hard. He falls on the ground.
Thanks, Jimmy.
Just then JIMMY notices MARIE and LESLIE stomp out of the
bar. Crackheads' hatchback pulls up and MARIE throws LESLIE
in the back and then hops into the front. DARREN and DEE
come out.
Where have I seen that car before?
That's the car we almost hit
They all get situated in the Saturn and pull away.


They are all in the Saturn speeding towards Mackey's. JIMMY
is angry with DARREN. He sits in the passenger seat fuming,
with his arms folded across his chest.
No! Come on bro! We have to go to
I'm in love man.
In love? With "victim #21?"
Don't be so insensitive little
brother. She has a name.
JIMMY doesn't respond.
Don't just sit there and throw a
bitch fit, Jimmy.
JIMMY starts choking DARREN and he starts swerving all over
the road. NICK and DEE pull him off DARREN into the
backseat. DEE slides in front.
      (to Jimmy)
Relax, Jim. You know he won't let
it go, and the quicker we get
ther, the quicker we'll be
Hurry up then, Darren.
Yeah, Sweets. We normally have to
slow you down. What's the problem?
He's trying guys. There's a guy on
a bicycle in the middle of the


Oh of course there is! What are
the bike laws here? Why are these
people always in our way!?
Tell 'em bro!
Screw you, procrastinator. Just
hit this guy. Fuck. You think he's
gonna stay in the bike lane, but
when you go to pass him you know
what he's gonna do?
JIMMY looks at everyone before he responds.
He's gonna swerve. Then we have to
stop short, or he gets hit and
sues us!
JIMMY is getting red. DARREN goes to pass the cyclist. The
cyclist swerves into DARREN's lane. DARREN stops short to
avoid hitting him. Everyone but JIMMY laughs.
Sweet shit!
JIMMY rolls down his window all the way and sticks his top
half out to address the cyclist.
Hey asshole! Stick to the bike
The cyclist swerves in front of DARREN, across the street.
DARREN has to stop short again. JIMMY swings forward and
slams his head on the roof of the Saturn. The cyclist flips
JIMMY off. JIMMY slides back in the car and rubs his head.
You straight?
Yeah. Let's just go.
                                         CUT TO


JIMMY and DARREN aren't talking to each other. JIMMY follows
everyone else inside, reluctantly. DARREN spots LESLIE and
MARIE and requests a table near them. LESLIE doesn't look
happy to be there.
      (the waiter)
I'll give you guys a minute to
DARREN peers at his name tag and then looks him in the face.
Thank you, Drew.
DREW nods walks away and DARREN glances towards LESLIE and
MARIE, who haven't noticed them yet. NICK is looking
intently at the menu.
I'm still starving.
NICK pulls another hair out of his mouth.
      (to Darren)
Oh man! I hope this pays off for
Thanks, this feels different
though. I'll bring back details.
JIMMY is giving DARREN a dirty look. DARREN gives JIMMY a
dirty look and then starts smiling.
      (to Jimmy)
Don't worry bro we'll get your vag
fixed on the way to practice.
They all start laughing hard. MARIE notices them and pulls
out her phone. LESLIE tries to get up but MARIE pulls her
down into her seat. MARIE gets up and walks outside. DARREN
gets up and moves toward LESLIE.
Nothing like a well placed insult
to ease the tension.


DREW comes back to the table with a forced smile on his
      (holding up his
Another min please.
DREW sighs and walks away. DARREN approaches LESLIE and
points to the empty chair next to her.
Is this seat taken?
Not at the moment.
DARREN sits down. He rubs his chin and looks LESLIE up and
Can I ask you a question?
Something I've ben dying to know?
LESLIE nods. DARREN leans in.
Are you really with one of those
crackheads in the hatchback?
Wouldn't you like to know...?
LESLIE stays serious at first but then smiles. DAREEN
chuckles. LESLIE turns to see MARIE, OTIS, and DAVE enter
the restaurant.
Did you get my note?
You have to go!
      (noticing the
Why? What happens if I stay?
Then you never see me again! Go
now and I'll see you tonight at
your show.


DARREN leans in to kiss LESLIE but she stops him by pressing
her fingers to his lips. He sticks his tongue through her
fingers. She pulls her hand back and giggles. DARREN ducks
and makes his way back towards his table.
How'd it go, Sweets?
She's coming tonight. But hey,
those two crackheads are back. we
should bounce.
      (pointing to
DREW returns again.
Have we decided?
I think we're gonna need one more
second, D-bag.
DREW heavily sighs again and walks away. DARREN turns to
address the group.
I'm with you, man.
NICK and DEE both nod. DARREN gets up but turns right into
DREW. He's startled and falls back into his seat.
What the fuck Drew!?
The other guys start laughing. DREW looks puzzled and
      (very stern)
I'm gonna have to ask you to watch
your language. This is a family


Who goes sneaking up behind
someone? And I don't see any
families here. What ever happened
to freedom of fucking speech?
DEE is laughing. JIMMY and NICK are silent and DREW is
getting redder and redder.
I have been over here several
times.. Listen. I work too hard at
two jobs to put up with you
neanderthals. So you can either
watch your mouth or get the FUCK
DARREN looks towards the guys, then back to DREW.
      (gets cut off)
You've been over here twice,
family man. And now you've..
Excuse me?
I think you heard me. And now you
have offended my brother and I'm
going to take my business
DREW steps into DARREN and points at JIMMY, speaking slowly
at first.
Fuck your brother. I work
I know. Two jobs. But don't take
that shit out on me. And you
could've just let me leave, but it
seems like you want to fight. And
that's just fine with me.
DEE notices OTIS and DAVE making their way over to them.
DARREN holds a finger up but stays focused on DREW.


One sec. I have a lot of pent up
anger and if you're up for it..
NICK and JIMMY also notice OTIS and DAVE and start to panic.
DARREN stays focused on DREW.
One sec. If you're up for it, we
could go outside and street fight
it up!
Hold on! I've just been waiting
for someone to give me a reason!
JIMMY, NICK, and DEE all yell, "Hey!" Darren spins around.
DARREN turns to see OTIS and DAVE making their way over.
Oh shit! Bug out!
DARREN turns back around to run and DREW punches him in the
face. The guys all look at DREW stunned and catch DARREN.
Get out! All of you!
We were trying too, asshole!
OTIS goes to block the door while DAVE chases after the
boys. DREW runs to the back. DAVE swings a chair but they
dodge and it takes out everything on a table.
Hey Otis! Grab the pretty one!
The guys try to run but OTIS catches DARREN around the neck.
Get 'em baby!


LESLIE shields her eyes. DEE jumps on OTIS's back. DAVE
begins to pursue NICK and JIMMY. OTIS flips DEE over his
back and through a table. OTIS still has DARREN in a
headlock and bends down to laugh in DEE's face and his false
teeth fall out onto DEE. DARREN wiggles out and kicks him
between the legs and then goes to help DEE up. He gets up
and they both run for the door, but DARREN turns around.
DAVE has NICK and JIMMY backed into a wall. He is slowly
getting closer, with a toothless grin on his face.
Man I'm still fucking starving!
You're gonna die hungry, Nick.
DARREN yells again and DAVE turns his back for just a
second. JIMMY shoves NICK towards a table and then jumps on
the one closest to him. NICK jumps up on his table and they
run on the tables around DAVE and out the door with DARREN
and DEE.
They all run out of the restaurant towards the Saturn.
Sup bro?
I was just punched by a dopey
waiter and chased out of the
restaurant my soulmate was in!
Just then there is a loud banging sound. They all jump. They
look around and see a bus stop sign kind of bent and waving
back and forth. A few yards from that, sprawled out on the
ground with his bike on top of him, is the cyclist that
flipped off JIMMY earlier.
Is that..?


DARREN, DEE, and NICK start laughing hard. DARREN wipes
tears from his eyes.
      (to cyclist)
Oh that helps.
They all get into the Saturn and drive off. JIMMY is
frowning. DARREN keeps looking over at him.
Hey what's wrong bro?
      (very sad)
You said... soul mate.... soul
Oh man I'm sorry I shouldn't have
said that. Let's not go through
that again.
JIMMY still looks sad. DARREN motions for NICK and DEE to
start talking to distract JIMMY. They both shrug.
I really hope Jenny comes tonight.
JIMMY lets out a little whimper and gets a look on his face.
      (to Nick at first)
Dude thats not helping. I know
that look bro. It's been two
                                         DISSOLVE INTO
JIMMY and a woman laying on a bed, looking into each other's
eyes. The room is dimly lit with candles.
I love you Nicole.


I love you too, Jimmy. Always and
They kiss. Tender music begins to play. Short blissful clips
of them eating dinner, watching movies, playing mini-golf.
JIMMY and NICOLE restate their love over a clip of them
running towards each other in a field.
I love you, Nicole.
Always and forever...
Field NICOLE disappears and field JIMMY stops to look
around. The tender music swells into heavy death metal.
                                         DISSOLVE INTO
JIMMY knocks on a door, but gets no answer. He looks
uncomfortable. He bends down and lifts up the door mat to
reveal a key. He uses it to open the door and enter. JIMMY
pauses. He hears moaning, so he slowly walks towards it and
pushes the bedroom door open. He sees NICOLE in bed with
another guy.
JIMMY has a horrible, sad, heartbroken look on his face. You
hear a blood-curdling scream as JIMMY grabs his head and the
whole frame shatters, bringing us back to reality.
                                         CUT BACK TO REALITY
DARREN slams on the brakes, shuts the car off and reaches
down and starts squeezing JIMMY's balls. He screams. NICK
and DEE gasp.
Do you like this?! You like pain?!
Let fucking go! They're gonna pop,
NICK and DEE try to contain laughing. NICK attempts to help.


      (to Jimmy)
You're better off without her,
      (trying not to
I'm not. She's perfect.
She's not perfect! She caused you
nothing but pain! Say she's not
perfect and you're better without
She is perfect...
DARREN squeezes harder. JIMMY screams loud. NICK and DEE are
laughing harder, but still trying to hide it. JIMMY keeps
I'm sorry this isn't funny.
Then why are we laughing?
Because we're uncomfortable?
If she was perfect, she wouldn't
have done this to you! Say it!
She's not perfect and I'm better
off without her! Let go!
Alright. But if you ever get that
teary-eyed, 'I'm a joesh who loves
a bitch' look in your eyes again,
I swear I'll rip your balls off!
Its for your own good little
      (rubbing his
I'm no good to her now anyway.


Jimmy is composing himself and wiping tears from his face.
Well, that ought to learn you. I'm
sorry I had to do that. But it was
for your own good, I swear.
NICK hands JIMMY a fresh blunt and gives him a pat on the
      (still laughing)
Sorry for laughing. Maybe this
will help.
Sure you are. Thanks asshole. Now
to practice?
      (to Darren)
You got it.
DARREN goes to start the car, but nothing happens. They see
an auto parts store and push the car into the lot. DARREN
picks up the hood and they all stare inside.
Whats wrong with it?
I don't know. Don't know dick
about cars. But I do know that
when you brake down you're
supposed to pop the hood and look
in. Just thought something might
jump out at me. Any thoughts?
NICK and JIMMY laugh. NICK, DEE, and DARREN continue to look
under the hood. JIMMY sits in the passenger seat and
continues smoking. DEE hops into the driver's seat and tries
to start the car a couple times. After no success he hops
back out.
      (to Darren)
I think it's just the battery,


Ok, cool. Could be worse. We can
just pop inside and grab one here.
Then to practice right?
They all look at him and say, "Yes." JIMMY takes one more
hit and puts out the blunt. They all enter the auto parts
NICK and DEE look around the store while JIMMY and DARREN
ring the service bell. They see someone approaching from the
back. JIMMY freezes.
No shit! Oh my God. OhmyGod
What's wrong man?
It's Gregg.
DARREN looks confused. NICK pulls another hair out of his
GREGG, man. GREGG. Grrreeeggg!
DARREN thought about it until his face lit up with supressed
Nicole's Gregg?
GREGG finally makes his way to the counter.
Hey Jimbo! You had that same look
on your face last time I saw you!
Maybe a little less color, though.
Cut the shit and just give us a
battey man.


GREGG sticks out his lower lip and puts his hands on his
Aw... what's wrong?
JIMMY and DARREN have the same annoyed look on their faces.
I'd rather not talk about it. If
we can just get a battery we'll be
on our way.
Say no more. Understandable. I
wouldn't want to talk to me
either. I don't even understand
how you can contain yourself right
I guess I'm just cool like that.
Hey, Jim.
GREGG motions for JIMMY to come closer. JIMMY makes a small
effort but didn't really play along.
Always, and forever....
He gets close to JIMMY's face and starts laughing. JIMMY
turns red and tenses up. NICK and DEE whip thier heads
around and start to move toward the counter. DARREN, tired
of watching, punches GREGG in the throat and then headbutts
him. GREGG is out cold. DARREN grabs his head.
Shit that hurt! Grab a battery!
Damn he has a hard head!
Hell yeah! Dick went dooooowwwwn!
JIMMY grabs a battery while NICK and DEE knock a few things
off the shelves. They all run back out to the car.
                                         CUT TO


JIMMY relights the blunt while DEE changes the battery. They
start the car but it still doesn't work.
      (to Jimmy)
Did you get the right one?
There are different kinds? Really?
                                         CUT TO
JIMMY and DEE run back into the auto parts store. GREGG is
to. DEE swaps out the battery. JIMMY knocks a couple things
off the shelf onto GREGG. They run out of the sotre. JIMMY
runs back in and kicks GREGG a few times.
      (kicking with
       every word)
What! The! Hell! Is! Your!
JIMMY runs out of the store back to the Saturn.
                                         CUT TO
They speed away from the auto parts store. Everyone is
screaming excitedly.
Damn, bro, that was crazy!
What is that, like our fourth
getaway today?
Everyone is pumped and DEE is rubbing DARREN's shoulders and
DARREN is laughing. JIMMY looks at DARREN and smiles.
Thanks for sticking up for me,
Darren. Means a lot.
DARREN gives JIMMY a playful shove and JIMMY shoves him
back. They go back and forth a few times and stop.


And now to practice!
Music plays over some shots of nightime scenery. People
walking the streets ready to party. Couple people fighting.
Couple kissing. Two guys hugging, one pushes the other away,
slaps him, and walks away angrily. DARREN chuckles at that.
NICK pulls another hair out of his mouth and looks to see if
anyone noticed.
      (whispers to
What the...?
They see a car being closely followed by a cop car. NICK
points it out.
I bet that guy is scared shitless.
They laugh agreeingly. DEE spots a hot chick and points her
out immediately.
Booty! 11 o'clock! 10! 9! Fuckin
DARREN honks his horn at her. The guys were laughing and
still brething heavily from the auto store fiasco.
Man she deserved two, maybe three
You mean like a rating?
Hell yeah! It's about time we had
some kind of system!
Let's start that up! One to three
honks. No! Five...
Five honks bro? You know how hard
it would be to smoke a cigarette
and honk that many times while
hitting a left turn? Five honkers


                       DARREN (cont'd)
tend to come out of nowhere!
Just go one to three?
One to three but anymore is two
shorts and one long.
A longhorn!
DARREN demonstrates the LONGHORN a few times. Everyone is
laughing as they pull up to DARREN and JIMMY's studio.
Happy bro?
You guys have no idea....
MARIE is watching TV on the couch. OTIS is sitting beside
her cleaning his teeth. LESLIE quietly sneaks behind MARIE
to the front door. She opens it and DAVE is standing in the
doorway. He smiles at her.
Going somewhere?
OTIS helps MARIE up and she marches over towards LESLIE.
OTIS puts his teeth back in and smiles teasingly at LESLIE.
Oooo, little Les is in trouble.
LESLIE glares at OTIS. DAVE steps right up behind LESLIE and
brushes her hair behind her ear. He bends his head down to
kiss her neck but LESLIE winces and ducks away from him.
Dou you think you can play me like
you did mom? Well I got news for
you, Les. I'm not mom, and you
won't waste anymore of my time!
MARIE makes a hand motion to OTIS. LESLIE cries out in


I just want to go see a show!
OTIS approaches LESLIE. LESLIE reaches for a small pole and
holds it up in self defense. OTIS stops short and looks at
We've been through this before,
little girl. You gonna try that
nonsense again, or go to your room
                                         CUT TO
OTIS and DAVE walking down the hallway carrying LESLIE. OTIS
is holding her top half while DAVE is carrying her legs.
LESLIE is punching, kicking, and screaming. OTIS and DAVE
laugh as they kick open a door and walk in.
Put me down you dirty crack-heads!
OTIS and DAVE throw her on the floor. She groans as she
lands with a thud. There is one window in the room, which
has bars on it. As OTIS and DAVE walk out, they look back at
her and smile.
She flips them off as they close the door and lock it (from
the outside). LESLIE pushes a dresser in front of the door.
She can hear OTIS and DAVE talking and their footsteps as
they walk away.
Hey, it's my turn with the teeth.
AS soon as the footsteps die away, LESLIE pulls a painting
off her wall opposite from the door. It reveals a small,
concealed door. She opens it and climbs out.
      (now outside)
Here I come, Sweets.
LESLIE runs toward the hatchback but stops when she hears a
door close. LESLIE ducks down behind a garbage can and peers
over it. She sees MARIE, OTIS, and DAVE exit the house.
MARIE stands at the top center of the little staircase,
waiting, as DAVE locks several locks from the outside. DAVE
and OTIS go to each side of her and take an arm. LESLIE
watches as they escort her to the hatchback. MARIE, OTIS,
and DAVE all get in and take off.


Dammit! Um...
LESLIE looks around and surveys her neighborhood. She nods
decisively and takes off running.
The guys enter the studio. DARREN and NICK start warming up
on their guitars. DEE tunes his practice drums. JIMMY digs
in something and pulls out a wooden box.
Come here guys. We've got to meet
Nate in less than an hour.
      (Pointing to box)
What's that? I thought you wanted
to practice?
Practice practice? Remember?
Yeah. And yeah what is that?
                                         CUT TO BLACK
You're looking up out of the box as the lid is removed.
DARREN, NICK, and DEE all peer into the box. Huge smiles
form on their faces.
Now do you guys understand why I
wanted to get back here so badly?
They all nod, but say nothing.
Do you guys now remember what we
always said we'd do before a gig
of this caliber?
They keep nodding. DEE's jaw drops. NICK wipes a tear from
his eye.
Don't you guys feel like assholes
More nods. JIMMY milks it a little more.


Are you sorry?
They nod, their mouths wide open. They all raise their right
hands. DARRE, NICK, and DEE all say, "Sorry."
Good. Gentlemen, get ready to warm
up like never before! I give you,
The Super Blunt!
He pulls a super blunt out of the box. He passes it around
so everyone can admire it. NICK is still wiping tears from
his cheeks. DEE tries to say something but starts giggling.
DARREN fakes an orgasm.
It makes its way back to JIMMY and he does the honor of
lighting it. DEE and NICK still haven't said a word. JIMMY
takes a hit and holds in the smoke.
This marks the beginning of
something good guys. No classmates
or friends, or drunks tonight.
This could be huge!
Preach it, brother!
JIMMY passes it to DARREN. DARREN hits it.
      (passing to Nick)
I can't believe I forgot about
this. Wow.
      (Passing to Dee)
Seems like so long ago. But now i
remember it like it was yesterday.
      (takes a hit with
       every word)
Greatest. Pact. Ever.
They continue passing it around. NICK puts on the radio. The
DJ was talking about a contest.


You're listening to YES97! And if
you want a chance to win $970
dollars you must answer your
phone, "Yes I'm rich!" Alright
let's make another call.
The phone rings and someone picks up.
Hello! You're on the air with
YES97! Unfortunately...
Yes I'm rich!
No, I'm sorry. Really I am, but in
order to win you must answer your
phone that way. But I hope you'll
keep listening for another chance
to win!
      (angry/trails off
       at end)
That's bull(bleep)! How can you do
that to me? I got doctors bills
and a cable bill.. And...
I'm sorry ma'am I'm just following
the rules...
Ma'am? Oh no you didn't just call
me ma'am! Listen here...
I'm sorry we seemed to have lost
her. We will be making more calls
so be by your phone or you can
even say, "Yes I'm rich!" On your
answering machine! We'll be right


The guys were laughing throughout the exchange with the DJ.
They pack up and get ready to leave. DEE's phone rings. They
all stare at each other and laugh.
Dude, it could be your chance to
Hello? SHIT!
Everyone looks stunned.
No, it's just my mom. But you
should've seen your faces!
They all throw balled up pieces of paper at DEE. He swats at
them with a smile. DARREN, JIMMY, and NICK all yell, "BOO!"
DEE bows and resumes his phone call.
Hey, Mom. Not yet but we're
leaving now. Nate is meeting us
DEE walks outside to put something in the trunk of the
Saturn, still talking on the phone. JIMMY reaches into his
pocket, but comes out empty handed. JIMMY looks toward
Hey, Darren can I get a smoke?
DARREN tries to shoot the cigarette into JIMMY's mouth from
across the room, but misses. He tries another, but misses
Toss that one back.
JIMMY shoots one at DARREN and it bounces off his chin. NICK
is eagerly watching. They each take another attempt but
don't get it.
Oh man, I'm gonna go ape-shit when
one of you finally lands this!


DEE makes his way back in still talking on the phone. JIMMY
tosses DARREN the cigarette again and DARREN catches it in
his mouth.
NICK jumps to his feet.
Mmm! Hell yeah!
      (flicking Nick)
NICK laughs and sits back down. DARREN is still trying to
shoot the cigarette to JIMMY.
...Ok I'll see you and Maggie
there. Bye.
JIMMY's head popped up at the sound of MAGGIE's name. DEE
notices but JIMMY tries to act like it didn't happen.
DARREN shoots the cigarette again and it goes right down
JIMMY's throat. JIMMY jumps up and DEE smacks him on the
back. He coughs the cigarette up and takes it out of his
mouth. There is a long string of saliva from the cigarette
to his mouth. He throws it away.

DARREN laughs and hands him another cigarette.
DARREN and NICK walk out to the Saturn.
Hey Jimmy, can we talk? I know
that you..
      (cuts him off)
I what? What?
JIMMY turns around and calls to no one.
Be right there. Come on Dee we'd
better go.
JIMMY walks off in a hurry. DEE stands still for a second
and watches JIMMY leave. DEE takes a deep breath and sprints
toward the Saturn.


The guys pull up at the club. JIMMY is avoiding eye contact
with DEE, who seems angry. DARREN dials NATE and puts his
phone on speaker. After one ring it went to voicemail.
      (answering machine)
Yes, I'm Rich!
The guys bust out laughing. DARREN hangs up his phone and
makes to dial NATE again. Just then, NICK pulls the "Senior
Sex," magazine out from under the seat and flashes it at
      (to Darren)
What's this, Sweets?
DARREN's eyes bug and everyone laughs. DARREN snatches the
magazine from NICK and looks at the cover.
Aw, man. Dammit.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that!
DEE takes the magazine from DARREN and starts flipping
through it.
Aw, Sweets. Some of the pages are
stuck together!
Impossible. I only use it for the
advice. What? There's good stuff
in there!
Everyone laughs hard again. Just then, NATE appears by the
window and knocks. They all scream. They start laughing
again and DARREN rolls down the window.
Hey, how's my favorite band?
What's funny?
DARREN chuckles, puts the magazine in the glove box, and
they exit the car. DARREN, JIMMY, and NICK grab their
guitars out of the trunk.


      (to Nate)
Drums inside, right?
You bet they are. Okay, we are
gonna want to go in through those
NATE directs them towards the right door. DARREN spots a
familiar face walking into the Thrash Club. He taps JIMMY.
Bro, does that look like Drew to
Um... yeah! You want me to punch
him in the throat and headbutt him
for you? Cause I will.
Naw, man I want to handle this.
Will you take this inside for me?
DARREN hands his guitar to JIMMY. JIMMY nods, takes the
guitar and starts to walk inside.
I'll be right there. Don't start
without me!
Haha. Just hurry.
DARREN sprints towards DREW until he gets close enough to be
heard, then he slows down.
Hey! What are you doing here?
DREW turns around and sees DARREN. DREW smirks and stands
      (sticking out his
I bartend here. Why, are we going
to have more problems?
DREW rubs his right fist. DARREN puts his hands up.


Drew, please, thats not it at all.
So this is job number two, huh?
DREW leaves his guard up and does not answer DARREN's
question. DARREN sighs and puts his head down.
Sorry if I came out of the gate
angry, I just wanted to get your
So you just happened to be here
and felt like apologizing? You
followed me didn't you?
Oh no, my band is playing here
tonight. Sweet Habit? But listen,
Drew-seph, I was having a weird
day earlier. Things were done.
Words were said, and I just wanted
DARREN pauses. DREW starts to relax. DREW lowers his guard
and just stares at DARREN before speaking.
Go on...
And I... just...wanted to get the
last one!
DARREN raises his head up and punches DREW in the face. DREW
falls onto his butt in a puddle. DREW whines and tries to
get up but falls. He finally sits up and smacks the ground.
Aw man! My pants!
Point Sweets!
DARREN walks away chuckling and punches the air.
                                         CUT TO


JIMMY, NICK, and DEE walk through the back door of The
Thrash Club. MOM and MaAGGIE are already there. JIMMY rushes
to the bathroom. MAGGIE looks around when she notices them.
Hey Dalton! NICK! Where's, Jimmy!?
And Sweets?
DEE grunts at her and walks away. NATE comes up and rushes
DEE and NICK into the bathroom with JIMMY for a pep talk.
      (back to Maggie)
Sorry, I have to steal them for a
managerial pep talk!
NATE pushes NICK into the bathroom door to open it. DEE
laughs and they all enter tand see JIMMY standing at the
sink, facing the mirror. His face is wet.
One, two, three... Where's our
He said he'd be here in just a
      (jokingly/ arms in
       the air)
I can't manage like this!
NICK and DEE laugh. JIMMY nervously chuckles. DEE whispers
to JIMMY as NICK and NATE continue talking.
      (to Jimmy)
Can we talk for a sec? Just til
Sweets gets back?
JIMMY hesitates, then nods. Just then, DARREN enters the
bathroom. JIMMY breathes a sigh of relief. NATE pulls them
all into a huddle.
How was the super blunt?
You remembered about that?


You didn't?
Now I really feel like a taint.
Everyone laughs. NATE still looks puzzled but shakes it off.
      (to Nate)
Wish you could've been there,
Ya me too. But whats done is done.
Listen, we have all been friends a
long time. And you guys were
willing to take a chance on me as
your manager. Well, tonight is
when I come through for you!
The guys cheer but look at NATE, waiting to hear more.
Are you guys ready to show this
crowd what rock and roll is all
                       DARREN (all)
There's nothing else I can say.
You guys rock! Now let's get
                       JIMMY (all)
Yeah! Sweet Habit!
Everyone cheers.
                                         CUT TO
NATE walks on stage to introduce the band. He waits for the
chatter to go down.


Ladies and Germs, who's ready to
rock?! Who's ready to get close to
the next group of musicians that
will make it to the top?!
The crowd cheers. NATE sucks it up. NATE looks over at the
band on the side of the stage and smiles and nods at them.
Put your hands together and give a
warm welcome to, SWEET HABIT!
SWEET HABIT plays their show. Four or five songs, show
pieces of all. DARREN spots LESLIE in the crowd. He also
spots DREW working the bar, with a sweater wrapped around
his waist. DREW glares at him. JIMMY spots MAGGIE. DEE
notices JIMMY looking at MAGGIE.
NICK looks for JENNY but doesn't see her in the crowd. JIMMY
sings a love song while looking at MAGGIE. DARREN crowd
surfs at the end. The crowd roars and SWEET HABIT takes a
                                         DISSOLVE TO
The guys are backstage with MOM, MAGGIE, and LESLIE. NICK is
sulking in the corner. Everytime someone enters the back
room NICK looks up, expecting to see JENNY. DARREN and
LESLIE walk towards the exit.
      (to leslie)
How'd you get away from your
sister? And...boyfriend?
Ew, screw you! Do you care?
DARREN chuckles. JIMMY and DEE are talking to MAGGIE and
their MOM. DARREN throws his keys to DEE and leaves with
LESLIE. When they walk out the door, NICK's head shoots up.
Then back down.
You guys were amazing!


Mags had to stop me from throwing
my shirt on stage!
Thanks guys. I feel great!
NATE walks through the back and passes NICK.
      (patting him on
       the back)
Perk up Nick! You guys blew the
roof off this place. I got to go
handle some business but I will be
in touch.
NATE walks out but NICK doesn't move.
Nicholas! Stop sulking and come
give me a hug!
NICK walks over to her slowly and gives her a hug.
Why the long face? You guys played
a great show!
      (whispering to
Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?
JIMMY looks nervous but walks a few steps away from everyone
with DEE.
Dude, i see you making googly eyes
at my sister.
Dee, hold on.
No you hold on. This goes against
the Bro Code man!


Dee I'm...
Let me talk Jimmy! When I think of
my little sister with one of my
friends, i just see RED.
I know. I...
But not you.
I'm sorry! Wait, what?
It's cool, bro. You're one of the
best guys I know. I've known your
brother for a long time but if he
tried anything I'd have to break
DEE and JIMMY both laugh.
Seriously though, you really are a
great guy. And if i got to pick
who I want my sister to be with,
well, I'd pick you.
Wow, Dee. I, I... I just can't
believe how gay you sound right
      (laughs/ jokingly)
Fine I changed my mind! Don't even
look at my sister, Suite!
They both laugh then it dies down.
Thanks, Dalton.
      (glaring at Jimmy
My sister is one thing, but I'll
be damned if you think you're
gonna call me, that name! Now,


                       DEE (cont'd)
wipe those tears out of your eyes
and let us head back out.
They laugh and shake hands. DEE goes and gets his MOM away
from MAGGIE. JIMMY walks over to her and they walk out the
back door.
NICK is back in the corner. DEE walks his MOM out to her
car. As they exit, JENNY enters.
He hurries towards her, but slows down in an attempt to not
seem desperate. He slips and falls but pops right back up
like nothing happened.
Hey, I'm glad you came.
Me too! You guys rock! And you
tore that bass apart!
FAT RHONDA stomps in. NICK lets out a small groan.
                       FAT RHONDA
There you are Jenny. You ready to
get out of here? I'm tired.
Actually I wanted to hang back
with Nick for a while..
                       FAT RHONDA
How am I supposed to get home?
      (from behind her)
I'll take you... I have the
FAT RHONDA looks disgusted. Looks at JENNY, who looks at
NICK, who looks back at DEE.
How about it, Rhonda?
DEE smiles suggestively.
                                         CUT TO


DEE is driving excitedly. He keeps looking over at FAT
RHONDA, who appears to be less than thrilled.
                       FAT RHONDA
I can't believe this.
Believe it, mama. I'm all yours.
DEE looks over at FAT RHONDA and smiles. She glares back at
                       FAT RHONDA
I can't believe that a girl like
me was ditched by her best friend.
I can't believe that I'm in such a
badass car on a night like this.
And I can't believe the only
person I have to share the
experience with is some limp dick,
stoner, retard!
You're not supposed to say retard
anymore. It's not politically
correct. Mentally challenged, I
think. Hold on, limp dick?!?!
                       FAT RHONDA
Shut your mouth before I kick it!
Where does all that hostility come
from, baby?
                       FAT RHONDA
'Where does all that hostility
come from baby?' Pull the fucking
car over. Now!
                       FAT RHONDA
Pull over, now!
DEE stops by a field. FAT RHONDA gets out and motions for
him to get out too.
                                         CUT TO


Darren is riding with Leslie. They park in a spot over
looking the city.
This is a nice car. How long have
you had it?
Thanks, not long.
LESLIE bends forward and disconnects wires to turn the car
off. DARREN chuckles.
Wow. What a beautiful night, huh?
Why are you trying so hard?
What do you mean?
I can just tell when it comes to
guys like you.
And what are guys like me, like?
All the same. Although you seem to
be trying hard, why?
I don't know really. This stuff
always comes so natural to me. But
I feel different when I'm with
you. I would rather you like me
then want me, if that makes sense.
Yeah, but go on.
Oh, and your one of those girls.
Excuse me? What girls?


Sexy car thieves that always try
to get guys to say things.
I AM NOT! Now, say more things.
They both laugh. DARREN looks serious.
I don't want to love and leave
you. I don't want to leave you at
Now that's more my type of guy.
She flashes him a seductive smile. The she leans in and they
start kissing.
                                         CUT TO
NICK and JENNY arrive at a closed Chiken King. They get out
of JENNY's car and JENNY searches for her keys.
I'm glad you came tonight.
      (still searching)
Yeah, Nick. Me too. It was
JENNY smiles at NICK and continues looking through her
purse. NICK opens his mouth like he is going to say
something but nothing comes out.
Ok now we're in business. Shoot!
JENNY pulls keys from her purse but drops them. She bends
down to pick them up but NICK gets there first. NICK grabs
them and unlocks the Chicken King door himself.
After you.
Awe, Nick. Always such a


NICK holds the door open for JENNY. They both enter and
JENNY turns on a light.
JIMMY and MAGGIE are walking and talking.
So, you liked our set?
No. I loved it!
They laugh. JIMMY is nervous.
Good. Good, I'm glad. Great.
Really, great.
      (stops, faces
Ok, Jimmy, I can tell you are
nervous. So I'm just going to jump
right into it.
Jump into what?
I've been hanging around you guys
for a while now. In that time,
I've picked up on a few things.
One of those things is all that
happened between you and Nicole. I
know that couldn't have been easy.
But 2 years? Come on, man.
They both start laughing.
Wow! I can't believe you just
called me out on that!
I know, I know! It's just that, I
went through a similar experience
so I feel you. I do. I feel you so
much that I'm just gonna come out
and say that there has been an
unspoken thing between us and I'm


                       MAGGIE (cont'd)
tired of waiting for fate, or
destiny. Or whatever you want to
call it.
JIMMY holds out his hands to stop her from talking.
Hold on Maggie! Please! I usually
don't get signals, but I think I
know what you're going to say, but
you're making me feel like a joesh
right now. Hold on, I gotta say
something to reclaim my manhood.
Alright, but I already pretty much
said it.
Hey, this isn't gonna work out if
I don't feel manly. I can do this.
They laugh and JIMMY acts like he's thinking hard for
something to say.
Don't rush me. Ok i got it.
He grabs both of her hands and looks her in the eyes.
Maggie, there has been an
unspoken thing between us for...
I already said that.
Oh yeah, damn. Ok. I know about
your breakup, and I went through a
similar situation...
Said that, too. Give it another


I'm tired of waiting for fate, or
MAGGIE starts laughing and slaps him in the arm.
Oh shut up and just kiss me.
They kiss.
                                         DISSOLVE TO
DEE and FAT RHONDA are outside the Saturn on the side of the
road. FAT RHONDA gets into a fighting stance. Blows angry
smoke out of her nose.
Whoa. Are you kidding me?
                       FAT RHONDA
I never kid. You and me, right
now. Winner takes the car, loser
goes to fuck themselves in hell!
I don't know where this is going
but I'm not ending up in jail or
on one of those fucking talk
shows. You know, the ones with the
skinny drummers that beat up big
boned chicks on the side of the
FAT RHONDA charges at DEE but he dodges.
You're insane!
                       FAT RHONDA
Am I? Maybe thats what you like
about me.
No, I like all that body.
DEE sticks out his tongue and wags it at her.
FAT RHONDA walks close to him and punches him in the gut. He
keels over and grabs his stomach.


      (out of breath)
You can't be doing that! That's
how that one guy died died, what's
his name? Harry, something.
DEE catches his breath.
Well, he didn't die right away but
the hit is what led to his death
shortly after.
                       FAT RHONDA
Are you trying to be cute?
DEE gives her a smile and a nod. She punches him in the face
and he goes down.
                       FAT RHONDA
Fight back, limp dick!
That's it, Big R.
She punches him again. Goes for another and he dodges and
punches her in the face. Holding her face, she slowly turns
to look back at him.
                       FAT RHONDA
No one has ever hit me back
Oh, so you beat up a lot of guys
on the side of the road then?
                       FAT RHONDA
Only the ones I like. You want to
go my to my place?
As DEE starts to reply, the hatchback comes to a screeching
hault behind them. MARIE, OTIS, and DAVE get out and start
walking towards them. DAVE points at FAT RHONDA.
      (with teeth now)
Oh I like her. But where are your
                                         CUT TO


Oh shit! Get in!
DARREN and LESLIE are in the backseat making out. LESLIE
starts to unbutton DARREN's pants. DARREN grabs her hand and
stops her.
Are you sure you want to do this?
I don't mind waiting, for you.
Yes, I'm sure. I don't mind not
waiting, for you, Sweets.
I've never met anyone like you
LESLIE pulls DARREN towards her and they start kissing
NICK and JENNY are eating and talking. NICK starts laughing
at something and food falls out of his mouth. JENNY didn't
notice. NICK quickly sweeps it onto the floor so she won't
You know, I really love this
place. When no one else is here!
I love this place too, when you're
What's so good about me?
NICK opens his mouth to talk but nothing comes out. JENNY
looks puzzled, but then smiles at him. NICK smiles back.
What's good about you? Where do I


Don't make fun of me, Nick. I'll
kick you in the nuts.
You should never kick a guy in the
nuts, that's cruel. But I would
never make fun of you. I don't
even know if I could.
Anyone can be made fun of. Give it
a shot. Look at me and just say
the first thing that comes to
      (looking at Jenny)
...I love you...
Jenny freezes.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean..I
freaked you out.
JENNY stays silent. NICK looks at her waiting for a
Damn! I just.. every day that I
see you I just, freeze. I want to
talk to you, ask you out, hug you,
kiss you, but I just can't.
JENNY looks around the Chicken King, then down at her hands.
NICK is still searching for the right words.
I don't know what it is. Your,
lips, your skin, your eyes that i
swear can see right through me.
It's the whole.. You are the whole
JENY finally looks back at NICK.
But, you love me?
                                         CUT TO


JIMMY and MAGGIE walk in on MOM lighting up a blunt. They
smile. JIMMY is slouching, love struck and red-eyed.
You guys want in on this?
Hell yeah! Mommy, you rock.
MAGGIE hits the blunt and holds it up to JIMMY.
      (taking the blunt
       from Maggie)
Sure, I haven't smoked all day.
JIMMY hits the blunt. MOM lights another and passes it. They
all start smoking.
DARREN and LESLIE are still in the backseat. They are
getting dressed.
Wow, I've never felt anything like
that before.
Yeah, it was amazing. Ready to go?
Whatever you want.
Okay. Don't climb over the seats
though. I don't want to break the
      (opening his door)
Oh, a considerate thief. That's


DARREN exits the car and closes the back door. LESLIE jumps
over the seats into the front and locks the doors. DARREN
looks at her, confused. She waves to him.
Thanks Sweets, I had a great time.
She slowly backs out. DARREN thinks she's joking, but
watches as the car fades away.
You can't call me Sweets! Dammit!
DARREN looks around confused, then starts walking.
      (yells loudly)
                                         CUT TO
DEE and FAT RHONDA are in the Saturn being chased by MARIE,
OTIS, and DAVE. DEE is driving fast. He's scared but FAT
RHONDA likes it. FAT RHONDA is giggling and starts rubbing
DEE's thighs.
                       FAT RHONDA
You're really making me hot right
now, Dee.
DEE is going back and forth between smiling and screaming.
They get bumped by the hatchback. DEE screams loud. The
hatcback pulls up beside them. OTIS is driving.
      (to OTIS)
This isn't my car!
Pull it over, boy!
      (to Dee)
Where is she!?
OTIS bumps the Saturn sideways again. DEE and FAT RHONDA
                       FAT RHONDA
Dee, we need to get out of this!


Hold on, Mama!
DEE hits the brakes and turns the wheel as much as he can.
The Saturn does a tight 180 and gets up on two wheels before
sitting back down. OTIS tries the same maneuver. The
hatchback goes about 100 degrees but then tips due to all
the weight. DEE and FAT RHONDA start laughing. OTIS and DAVE
hop out the driver side windows while MARIE screams for
their help.
                       FAT RHONDA
How did you know that was gonna
Honestly I didn't even think about
that. We could've tipped too!
                       FAT RHONDA
      (punches Dee in
       the arm)
Asshole! Now what are we waiting
for? My place?
DEE puts his arm as far around FAT RHONDA as he can and they
drive off into the night. In the rearview mirror, DEE sees
OTIS and DAVE still trying to get MARIE out of the
                                         BACK TO
DARREN is walking down the road. One hand in his pocket, the
other was hitch-hiking.
      (looking down)
She could've at least taken me
A car stops past DARREN. He rushes to the window and sees
DREW behind the wheel.
Oh shit.
Sucks to be you, man. Point Drew!


DREW speeds away. He reaches his arm out the window and
punches the air like DARREN did earlier. DARREN chases him
for a few seconds and throws a rock at him.
Yeah get out of here and go wash
your dirty ass! Fucker! Shit!
DARREN raises his arms to the sky and looks up. Has a moment
of clarity, puts his hands in his pockets, chuckles, and
continues walking.
If I hadn't said that, would I
have had a shot?
      (looking down)
Yeah. I think you would have.
Sorry about this, Jenny. I
should've said something a year
ago instead of bottling it all up
and having it spill out all at
once with one raspy, 'I love you.'
I'm surprised I didn't just run
away. And, I might be crazier than
you are, but, I think I love you,
JENNY looks back up at NICK and they stare into each others'
eyes for a few seconds. NICK sweeps everything off the
counter and lifts JENNY onto it. They start kissing.
                                         FADE INTO
MAGGIE, MOM, and JIMMY are still smoking. Lots of roaches in
the ashtray.
Can I ask you something, Jimmy?
      (Hitting the blunt)


Do you intend to marry my
Jimmy starts choking. Maggie laughs.
I'm just kidding boy!
Wow, good one.
MOM starts coughing and passes the blunt.
Can I ask you a question? Do you
think we are going to make it?
Hell, I hope so. It'd be nice to
have to mooch off Dee for a
They all laugh. They turn their attention to the TV. A
commercial for Crocket phone service comes on.
I think I'm gonna get service from
NO! Don't! It's horrible.
MAGGIE was gonna say something but jumped when JIMMY yelled.
They stare at him.
Sorry, do what you want. I just,
here's the thing. They charge you
for the next month and if you
don't pay on time they shut your
phone off. Understandable. But..
      (voice gets
       squeaky at end)
But they charge you late fees! Why
the hell do they charge you late
fees when you pay in advance?
That's bullshit. You pay for the


                       MAGGIE (cont'd)
next month not the previous. I
just don't get it!
JIMMY just stares at her. MOM is already changing the
channel and moving on. MAGGIE continues.
      (gets angrier as
       she goes on)
And don't get me started on the
customer service! And the
insurance?! My screen went out and
I called to replace it and they
were gonna charge me more than I
paid for it new! And with a
refurbished phone! What the hell
is refurbished? I mean, I know
what it is, but if it wasn't
anything bad they wouldn't even
bother saying it's refurbished!
It's a warning disguised as
information. What the hell was I
paying monthly insurance on a
phone for when they try and pull
that shit!?
She stops and JIMMY is staring at her.
      (extra sweet)
Nothing you just...here.
JIMMY hands her the blunt and stares at her as she hits it.
They usually take these away from
me when I go off like that.
      (laughing/to Jimmy)
So what all did you guys do
between the time you left here and
the time you got to the club?
Oh wow. One of the less average


      (laughs after line)
What the hell does that mean?
Kind of a long story. You might
want to roll a couple more.
MOM pulls two blunts from behind her ears and lights them.
She passes one to each of them.
Way ahead of you. Go ahead.
JIMMY starts the story.
MAGGIE and MOM are listening. The room gets really smoky.
                                         DISSOLVE TO
JENNY drops NICK off in front of DEE's house. NICK kisses
JENNY and exits her car. JENNY pulls away. NICK waves and
watches her car disappear. DEE pulls up in DARREN's Saturn
and parks in front of NICK. DEE gets out and walks up to
NICK. They greet each other and walk into the house. JIMMY
is finishing up his story and MOM notices DEE first.
      (to Dee)
MOM lights another blunt and hits it.
Hey, mom.
DEE and NICK sit down on the couch next to MOM. They both
have satisfied smiles on their faces. NICK looks to JIMMY.
What's happening?
I was telling them about what all
happened today.
DEE motions towards the blunt in MOM's hand.
You gonna pass that?


      (passing to Dee)
Did Darren see that girl again?
Yeah. I think she was at the show.
Yeah I think that's who he left
Yeah, yeah. What time is it?
      (still coughing)
7:30 in the morning.
Damn! Well i hope it went well for
him. Let's all take a moment of
They all put their heads down. Just then, a sweaty DARREN
walks in and sits down. He stares at JIMMY til he hands him
the blunt. MOM and MAGGIE are coughing.
Don't ask. I'll just say nothing
has changed, and leave it at that.
DARREN chuckles. JIMMY's phone rings. He doesn't recognize
the number, but he answers anyway.
James? James Suite?
Yeah? Well it's Jimmy, but yeah.
Who is this?
Sam Brock. I'm with 1Rock Records.
I happened to be in the Thrash
Club and see your band's set last


JIMMY's face lights up. Everyone stands.
Who is it?
JIMMY puts his phone on speaker.
I was really impressed with what I
saw. I had the club owner give me
your contact info. And I already
had a brief convo with your
manager, a Mr. Nate Daniels, I
hope thats ok...
Yes. Yes. Yeah thats more than
Excellent. I would like to set up
a meeting with Sweet Habit at your
earliest convenience. That is, if
you're up for the challenge?
JIMMY and DARREN look at each other and smile.
Point Suite!


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