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by Michael Gavas (lord_tyranus@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ***1/2
Satirical vision of the future which is not too far removed from today's reality.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


A mass of thousands of people make their way through this
tunnel to an unseen destination. Some look scared, others
relieved, others mindless.

We follow one particular couple; JACK and MARIE.
MARIE holds her baby, GEOFFREY. He cries.
Shhh, we're almost there, Sweetie.
Calm down.
He isn't alone.
Two old women walking by are also sobbing in each other's

The group reach a huge arch and are ushered through by
Guards wearing navy blue. They now enter:
This cavernous room contains what appears to be half the
world's population.

In the centre stands an enormous podium. A guard named
THADDEUS BOLT ascends it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I present
armageddon. The world is about to
be destroyed by an
wasting disaster but your safety
is guaranteed by our new leader,
Mr. Richard Tayter. Do not be
afraid. The age of sustainable
human life above ground is at an
end and so you must now enter into
a brave new world that has been
created just for you. Before you
descend for the next hundred miles
into the safety of the planet's
core, Mr. Tayter kindly asks you
to listen and reflect.


Thaddeus bows and steps off the podium as an image of the
planet earth is projected onto it.
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
North and South America. Europe.
Asia. Africa. Australasia and
Antarctica. Good evening, I am
Richard – call me "Dick" – Tayter,
head of the global Totalvision
Corporation. And I am here to tell
you that our world has fragmented.
The projected image of earth explodes. It is replaced with
terrifying images of natural disasters.
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
The surface has become unsafe
thanks to the unjust terrors that
mother nature has bestowed upon
us. Fear volcanoes, hurricanes and
global warming, the sun in the sky
and the ground beneath your feet.
Images of war and human suffering are now projected.
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
The surface is unsafe due the
violent nature of human beings.
Our bloodlust. Watch! Fear wars,
weapons, the murderer next door
and the rapist downstairs.
The projected images disappear.
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
And perhaps most frightening and
dangerous of all, you must fear
the threats you don't see. The
dangers you don't even know about
because they are hiding from you
or being hidden from you by those
who seek power. Biological
mutations, infrasound, viral
destruction. Fear these things!
The room is plunged into darkness. There are screams until a
light emerges from the podium. It slowly grows bigger and
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
Your leaders in the past have
denied the breakdown of the
established way of life. It would
be admitting defeat, admitting to


                       TAYTER (cont'd)
their mistakes. All of us at
Totalvision recognise that there
is no way to save our world.
Armageddon is just around the
corner. We cannot stop the
destruction of the surface but we
can and we will offer you safety.
Totalvision will be your guiding
light, your safety blanket in
these darkest of times. We will be
your mother, father, sister,
brother, long lost uncle and
friend. Together we will save
mankind. We will cleanse it from
the violence and depravation that
has plagued it for so long. We
will protect you from the
atrocities raging above. We will
forget the past and move boldly
forth into the future. We will
have controlled peace on earth.
The podium breaks apart revealing a staircase leading down
into infinity. It is bathed in golden light.
                       TAYTER (v.o.)
We will have it inside The
Deafening cheers.
GEOFFREY ANDERSON, now a young man, wanders the labyrinthine
hallways of The Shelter; a monotonous row of rooms with only
numbers and signs to differentiate them. The doors to all
these rooms are all open.

He peers into one room and sees a group of people staring at
a screen. It shows some kind of advertisment;

Two scientists stand behind a patient with a cable attached
to his head.
As you can see, our new image
enhancing technology is both easy
and safe to use. The benefits are


The wires feeding into my
cerebellum make changing channels
child's play.
And what else do you need?
GEOFFREY rolls his eyes and continues on.
A group of men in uniforms with monitors displaying numbers
are working at extending one of the corridors, carrying the
raw materials and welding them into place.

With each task that is completed, the numbers on the
builders' monitors increase.

GEOFFREY walks by, paying them though notices. He walks
A grand circular space decorated with statues of historical
figures, the biggest being of TAYTER himself.

Hundreds of people going about their daily business. None
talk to each other.

A screen descends from the ceiling. It comes to life with
another advertisment, this time for a hairdryer.

Everyone stops and stares.
Everyone knows how difficult it
can be to get rid of those
troublesome stray brain cells, so
stressful in fact that it has been
proven to lead to damaged hair
folicles. Would it not be great to
simultaneously destroy all your
unsafe thoughts and keep your hair
silky smooth and shiny? That, dear
Sheltarians, is why you need the
new Safesilk Hairdryer from
TiboShelt. With its built in
population of live silkworms, this
new marvel will eat away at those
nasty cells while restoring your


                       SALESPERSON (cont'd)
hair's natural glow.
GEOFFREY walks past without paying the advert any attention.

He continues down the endless hallways, eventually reaching
a door labelled "FD208". This is his home
A modest space, neatly kept. Like every other room we have
seen, the most striking feature is the enormous screen. Here
it is switched off.

MARIE stands washing plates. She turns as the door slides
open and GEOFFREY walks in.
Hello, Mum.
Back already?
Of course. But don't worry, I'm on
my break at the moment. You know
how I'd never miss a minute of
Brainwash class. I came to see you
Aw, you remembered.
JACK enters from another room holding a piece of paper.
Of course he remembers, he's not
stupid. He's been waiting the past
eighteen years for today. All set,
I am. Independence sounds like


That's my boy.
      (to Marie)
Are we ready?
I just have to finish these
MARIE continues washing up.
What, are you leaving now?
As soon as everything on this list
is done. Exciting isn't it?
JACK reads the list in his hand while circling the room,
checking everything is right.

GEOFFREY slumps in a chair looking upset but trying to hide
it from his parents.
All done. We should leave, Jack.
Right. This is our ultimate
responsibility in life, son; to
make room for the younger
generation so that they can
procreate in safety. If we failed
at that then things will become
just as bad as they were up there.
I know you understand.
JACK, MARIE and GEOFFREY embrace each other. One final
family moment.
Goodbye, my darling.
Make us proud, son.
JACK and MARIE let go of their son and start towards the
door. MARIE opens it and is the first out.


I am ready.
I know.
JACK exits and closes the door behind him.

GEOFFREY sits in silence, his expression numb.

The screen switches itself on, prompting GEOFFREY to leave
the room.

The screen displays a smartly dressed announcer.
Are you approaching forty? Are you
feeling past it? Are you ready to
make way for those younger,
stronger, fitter, more efficient,
more exciting and generally better
than you? If the answer is yes,
then it is time that you booked
your compulsory-voluntary
euthanasia. Totalvision allows you
to choose public or private
euthanasia options, so you're
welcome to gather a group of
friends and share the life ends at
forty experience, or for the more
serene and sensitive a solo
violinist can selected for a more
emotional ambience. Stand-up
comedians, strippers, packs of
feral dogs. . . these are just a
small slice of what is available
for your wild and wacky euthanasia
– press the black button on your
remote now for a full list. And
remember; don't leave it to the
last moment to plan your last
moment. Thank you.
Thirty students sit at desks in this bare room, GEOFFREY
ANDERSON among them. There is no physical teacher – only his
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Students of Totalvision!


Everyone sits bolt upright except GEOFFREY, who continues to
slouch and look depressed.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Welcome to your 543rd day of
education. You are mindless.
Thank you!
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Mindless in the most positive,
most productive sense of the word.
But I must continue to ensure that
your minds will never fester with
the unsafe thoughts that once
nearly destroyed our world. And
how will we achieve that?
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Excellent. Washing your brains of
everything that has the potential
to corrupt it. Today we shall
focus on one particularly depraved
form of mind-pollution, a heresy
that is completely and
irreversibly banned from Shelter
life. This ugly, vile, gutter
scraping, bastardisation of music
with rebellious words instead of
tunes, glamorising violence and
degradation of those who are
different. This was used to lead
teenage youths to a state of
uncontrollable anarchy from which
it has never truly recovered.
This, students, was known as
The Students sit wide eyed, absorbing this information while
GEOFFREY begins to zone out.
A more pleasant looking room with several pieces of exercise
equipment facing a large screen.

A group of five teens sit idly on these. One of them (JEAN)
breaks the silence and turns to another (BEN).


What you doing?
Oh. What you thinking?
What would that be?
Right now I'm thinking about what
I'm going to tell you that I'm
thinking about.
That is a lot to think about.
I know, lets not think.
The screen lights up. Everyone in the room becomes excited.

It is an advert for Hero-In-You. We are not quite sure what
this is yet but from everyone's reactions it is definitely
seen as a good thing.
When you come home from a long
day's work, tired and emotionally
ravaged, there is nothing worse
than that feeling of hopelessness.
Regretting the past, fearing the
future and fighting the urge to
just stick your head in the oven
and rid the world of your
meaningless existence. You could
do that, or like millions are
already you could take one small
step that will solve all your
problems. And that, ladies and
gentlemen, its Hero-In-You!
Discovered by Totalvisions own


                       ANNOUNCER (cont'd)
scientists, this wonder cure
Our attention is taken off the screen and instead to
GEOFFREY entering and sitting next to JEAN.
Where have you been? Look at what
you're missing!
This commercial is as old as me.
Its shown every day. And we see it
every day.
So? Look at it! How fantastic is
Mr. Tayter to give this to us?
To tell you the truth, love, I've
never really been Dickie's biggest
What? You don't like Dick?
Everyone spins round and stares at GEOFFREY in shock before
turning back to the screen to catch the very end of the
...it is time we put the Hero in
The screen switches off. Everyone groans.
Thanks a lot, Geoff.
JEAN tuts and shakes her head. GEOFFREY gets angry.
Give me a break! My parents were
euthanized this morning.
The groans continue as everyone leaves except GEOFFREY, BEN
and another young man named JIMMY RIDDLE.


That's nothing to get depressed
about. You should be feeling
proud, I bet they were.
BEN sits down next to GEOFFREY who doesn't look too happy
about it.
Does this face look proud?
Look, Geoff, I like you, you're my
mate but you have to cheer up or
clear out. You just completely
killed the vibe. We were all
buzzing until you walked in. Tell
me what's wrong.
Shall I give you a list? We could
be here a very long time.
Well lets start with this Dick
Tayter business.
What about it?
The guy dreamed up Totalvision and
that saved us. Nobody can hate
Then I'll be the first. Seriously,
Ben, why are you acting like this
is a shock for you? I've never
liked T.V.
I thought it was a phase.
It wasn't.
How long have I know you for,
fifteen years?
Fourteen years. And seven months.


And in those Fourteen years and
seven months you've had some
pretty out there ideas, even when
you were a tot. That was your
thing, that is what made you the
Geoffrey Anderson. I still
remember that time you had the
idea about the tortoises like it
was yesterday.
I still haven't proven you wrong
on that one.
But at the end of the day it was
just a phase.
This is different. Totally.
Just because you want to stand out
and be different from everyone
else? There are other, safer ways
to do that.
It's not that.
We aren't experiencing life down
here. There is more to it out
there. Up there.
No shit there is, and it'll kill
us. Here we are safe.
Maybe. But safe. See sense, Geoff,
for your own sake.
Locking ourselves in our own
prison, being scared of everything
not available in widescreen? If
this is sense then why are we all-


                       BEN (interrupting)
So unhappy? Everyone is happy
except you. What does that tell
BEN gets up and makes his way towards the door, passing
See you later, Jimmy.
JIMMY still doesn't react. The same lifeless stare.

BEN exits. GEOFFREY is again left to ponder alone.
Another colossal screen. Two builders are working on
refurbishing it, hammering the base of a giant screen into

The numbers on the back of one of them reach 1400.
                       BUILDER 1
Fourteen hundred!
                       BUILDER 2
                       BUILDER 1
You just earned the full fourteen
hundred. You can afford that drill
for your wife now.
                       BUILDER 2
Finally. This is why I love this
We pan up and see that the screen is on, showing a weather
report by three presenters;

TED - well built, dark skinned and stern looking; TREVOR -
tall, thin and with a nervous air about him; and SUSAN –
small in stature but with a huge presence.
As you can see from these figures
the temperature on the surface is
still on a steady increase due to
the incessant flatulence of the
population of mutated cows.


However, new findings from leading
Shelter scientist Dr. Brian Wash
suggest that this desert-like
climate will be put to rest with
the arrival of several meteorites
in approximately eighty years.
These will contain hundreds of
tonnes of ice which will cause the
surface temperature to drop
dramatically, creating another ice
age estimated to last for fifteen
million years.
                                         CUT TO
The forecast continues.
In the meantime, the climate
inside the Shelter shall remain
unchanged, consistent, stable,
invariable, unaffected by anything
and anyone.
So from all of us at the weather
team it's goodbye.
Stay safe.
TED, TREVOR and SUSAN wait for the off-air signal. A beast
of a woman stands and gives it. This is WENDY DI VALLUX.
The weather-trio turn to leave.
Wait! Who said you were finished
for the day?
We did say goodbye.


Your report on the weather may be
over but there is one more
broadcast to make. Nigel!
A nervous young man runs up behind WENDY and hands her a
stack of papers tied with a ribbon. This unfortunate fellow
Wendy, can I say–
WENDY hands the papers over to the weather-trio.
But I just want to-
Silence, Nigel! We're on air in
three, two, one
It is with great apologies that we
interrupt the regular schedule for
this urgent newsflash. It has just
been reported that a case of
Limbic Implosion has been
diagnosed in a thirty-nine year
old man.
The terminal disease is a
by-product of years of consumption
of artificial preservatives in
fast-food before its ban fifteen
years ago. It was previously
thought that this was one of the
many diseases safety serum
Hero-In-You would protect the body
from for forty full years but in
light of this case the number is
proven to be closer to thirty
If you are aged thirty nine you
are advised not to panic but to
proceed to your nearest
compulsory-voluntary euthanasia
clinic for immediate termination
at a discount price. In related


                       TED (cont'd)
news we can reveal that this will
be Susan, Trevor and I's last
official weather report after over
a decade together. This is due to
the fact that we are all thirty
nine years of age. And today is
actually my birthday...
Happy birthday, Ted.
Thank you.
And we're off air.
For the last time.
That'll be all, thank you. I'll
see you tomorrow. Oh, wait, no I
won't. Goodbye. Nigel!
NIGEL runs over to the trio and hands TED an envelope,
tripping over himself as he does so.
Good luck, my friends.
TED takes the envelope and the trio leave the studio.
TED, TREVOR and SUSAN proceed down the corridor towards the
Well I don't want any chance of
living to feel my brain implode.
I'm going straight to the clinic,
no time to say goodbye to anyone.
Everyone would have seen you
announce it just now, so they'll
no already. How handy. Good old
Totalvision, it's nice to know


                       TREVOR (cont'd)
it'll still be here when we're
long gone.
Thank you, Trev, that makes me
feel so much better.
I couldn't think of a better day
to go. My cousin from
Austra-Shelter is meant to be
coming to visit next week and I
was trying to think of an excuse
not to see her. Now I have one.
You're uncharacteristically quiet,
Ted. Something wrong?
No. I mean, I did have a lovely
evening with my wife planned
seeing as it is a special occasion
but when Compulsory-voluntary
euthanasia calls one must answer.
TED absent-mindedly slips the envelope he was given into his
WENDY grabs a mindless looking assistant while NIGEL follows
her like a lost puppy.
      (to assistant)
You, clean this set up.
      (to Nigel)
Now, Nigel, what was it that you
were blithering about earlier?
I just wanted to tell you that you
look especially lovely today.
Shut up! I don't, I look the same
as I do every day.


S-s-sorry, Wendy.
And stop that pathetic stuttering!
You won't get very far in this
business unless you can grow a
backbone. I can tell you that
firsthand; it is confidence,
ruthlessness, hell sometimes even
tyranny that you will need to get
to the top. I took that on board
and that is why I am the Chief
Global Communications while you
are just the assistant to the
Chief of Global Communications.
      (she turns on a
       strange seductive
You may now be limited to writing
stories about the state of the
surface but I do know that you are
capable of greater things, Nigel.
Far greater things.
Thank you.
That's only if you work very, very
hard. And for the moment that
means doing exactly what I tell
you, to the letter.
WENDY swiftly licks NIGEL'S face.

NIGEL whimpers but continues to follow WENDY as she walks.
                       WENDY (cont.)
Yes, it may be tiresome at times
but look at the bright side – at
least you're one of the few who is
in the loop about the real
situation upstairs. You aren't
hopelessly mindless like these
They pass a room in which a team of four people are filming
an advert for a "RENT-A-BEACH";

One girl, NANCY STRUDEL, is in a bikini against a cardboard
backdrop of a beach.


Two stagehands spray her with water and fan her to simulate
the wind and waves whilst making unconvincing sound effects.
Another holds a lamp to simulate the sun.
.,,the feeling of soft white sand
and a seven thousand watt sun
shining down on your face. What
more could you want?
The stagehand drops the lamp.

WENDY shakes her head and continues on.
Look at them. Not a brain cell
between them.
If they are so useless then why
don't we hire better people?
Where is your common sense, Nigel?
We only pick the most brainwashed,
most doped up Sheltarians for the
media team. They have to deliver
all that rubbish we make up about
the surface so we need people who
will not question it. If they show
potential, who knows, maybe they
will be let in on the truth one
day. Like you and I.
I see.
NIGEL adjusts his posture in attempt to look more macho and
confident. It is a failed attempt.
No, you don't.
WENDY strides ahead, inspecting the other rooms.
No, I don't.
Bizarrely, this nightclub appears almost identical to one
that may have been found on the surface world. There is a


bar and several dance floors filled with people dancing to
cheesiest music imaginable.

The music suddenly cuts out and a voice is heard over a
Male Sheltarians looking for
relations with a blonde-haired
mate are to proceed to dance floor
number six. Any Sheltarians over
six foot tall are to proceed to
floor eight for sorting. That is
The music continues. People move across the space and meet
with new partners.

On a higher level there is a long queue, presumably for the
A rather crowded space with GEOFFREY and BEN among those
inside. GEOFFREY scoffs at a poster advertising safe-sex
while BEN washes his hands.
Have you actually stopped and paid
attention to this thing?
The figures on the poster move, indicating it is yet another
screen. The announcer points straight out towards the
Sex between the optimum breeding
time of May until August is
immoral, dangerous and ultimately
interferes with birthday cuisine
planning. Remember, there is never
a reason for sex out of season.
Utter bollocks!
No, Geoff. Watch it again, it
makes sense. Why do you think the
clubs are packed from May until
August? See, logic.


No logic! What makes sex outside
that time period so wrong?
Because the man on the screen just
told you.
And that makes it true?
Everyone in the room turns to GEOFFREY and shouts "YES!"
BEN takes GEOFFREY by the arm and begins to lead him out.
Let's go. Seriously of all places
to spout that crap you choose a
public toilet?
GEOFFREY shakes free of BEN'S grip and disappears into the
crowd. A man approaches BEN.
That butcase a friend of yours?
GEOFFREY sits on his sofa looking depressed and drinking
from a can labelled "Alcohol-free Beer. Drink Responsibly".

His screen turns itself on. A burly looking man appears on
it. THADDEUS BOLT, eighteen years older and now the Head of
Shelter Security.
Sheltarians! This is an automated
warning. It is twenty minutes
until nightly lockdown. Take your
second daily shot of Hero-In-You
GEOFFREY instinctively moves to a cupboard and removes a
box. He opens it and removes a needle.

Clearly visible on the inside of the box are instructions
for taking the "safety serum". It is to be injected straight
into a vein.


GEOFFREY prepares the needle. As he gets ready to inject
himself he remembers his father's words.
                       JACK (v.o.)
Make us proud, son.
GEOFFREY puts down the needle and stares at BOLT'S face in
the screen.
Thank you all for your obedience.
The screen switches off.

GEOFFREY throws the needle at the wall, smashing it.
Who needs a hero?
The depressingly sterile looking room is absolutely packed
with people impatiently waiting. Everyone holds a numbered

TED, TREVOR and SUSAN make their way through the crowd of
thirty nine year olds looking for a seat.
Looks like it will be a long wait.
Oh, I can live with that.
They find a space and sit.
So here we are, the last room
we'll ever see.
It does have a certain charm to
The receptionist picks up a loudspeaker.
Number 9217 please make your way
to room number twenty six, your
Jacuzzi is ready. Welcome to your


Everyone applauds as a happy looking woman exits.
What number are we?
TED takes the ticket out of his pocket.
Numbers 65758 through 65760.
TED also pulls the envelope Nigel gave him out of his
pocket. He opens it. A birthday card.
What song did you pick to send us
off, Trev?
Cliff Richard, Summer Holiday.
Shame we couldn't see the real sun
one last time.
It wouldn't be worth it. We'd just
die from heatstroke within the
hour before getting eaten by
super-evolved farting cows.
True, but still...
Number 9218, your sex-in-season
dancer is ready. Welcome to your
Applause again.

TED notices something stuck to the back of his envelope. It
is a word document labelled "TOP SECRET". He reads it.
So many people to go. What to do,
what to do.


I suppose now that we're on our
way out it might be safe to think.
Really? What about?
The past? How good it was in here?
And up there.
Was it?
It was once. There wasn't always a
nuclear war per continent. You
remember, don't you Ted?
TED is missing.
They spot TED near the exit. He waves them over.
Where is he going?
SUSAN and TREVOR run up to TED. He pulls them outside.
Ted, what the hell?
We have to get out of here. Read.
He passes them the top secret document. Their eyes widen as
they read.

BEN walks past them. We follow him.

He passes a screen that has been covered with graffiti.


He looks further down the endless hallway. All the screens
he can see are also vandalised.
BEN runs in. Again some young people sit idle on the
exercise equipment.
Jimmy, where's Geoff?
BEN looks around. JIMMY RIDDLE is nowhere to be seen.
Jimmy? Anyone seen Jimmy?
JIMMY sits lifeless holding a camera, the same blank stare
on his face. It seems that he has been promoted.

In front of him a news team are broadcasting. This includes
a strapping young man named TOM and a ditzy looking girl
named CAZ.
After this short break we will be
delighted to bring you Lorraine
the Third's gossip hour. From
everyone on the news team, it's
WENDY appears from the shadows.
TOM begins to admire himself in a pocket mirror as
stagehands change the set around.

CAZ approaches him.
You were great, Tom.
Why, thanks. So were you.
Well I haven't actually done
anything yet today.


My mistake.
You didn't call last night. I was
Oh yes, that. I was really busy
last night. I was going to call
you and ask if you wanted a drink
or two but something came up.
What was it?
Ummm....oh, shit!
      (he leaps up and
Guys! Broadcasting in thirty
A small army of stagehands rush over and begin to change his
costume from a smart newsreader to a middle aged female
talk-show host.
I need a guest!
I'll do it.
TOM and CAZ sit opposite each other.
Three, two, one, action!
JIMMY is still frozen. A stagehand turns on the camera for
him and gives the thumbs-up sign.
Hello, Sheltarians, and welcome to
Lorraine the Third's hour! Tonight
we have a very distinguished guest
on our show, a marvellous woman
who is admired as a well of wisdom
by our nation. It is the one, the
only. . .


TOM kicks CAZ.
Oh...Sheryl Thunder. I'm Sheryl
Sheryl Thunder! Ms. Thunder is
best known as being the head of...
TOM kicks CAZ again.
The head of the Shelter's vintage
stamp appreciation and collection
We truly are honoured.
WENDY shakes her head and mutters to herself.
It's Friday, Wendy. It's Friday.
NIGEL rushes in, ducking out of the camera's sight but
somehow still managing to be seen.
Don't hit me, Wendy. This is
Nothing is important enough to
disrupt a broadcast, toad.
I just received a tip on a
What? Where?
In east sector eight one eight.
WENDY gets angry and slaps NIGEL.
It isn't my fault!


So? Come.
WENDY runs towards the exit. NIGEL begins to follow.
NIGEL does so.
All thirty seats are filled again, with GEOFFREY sitting
right at the back looking as if he hasn't slept for days.

Once again the voice of a TEACHER calls out to them.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Students! As we approach the end
of the current term, it is
important that we look back and
reflect on what the past has
taught us. Today history is your
story. The story of how Totalvison
and its predecessor Television
shaped our world.
The lights dim and a screen descends from the ceiling.
Oh, for the love of God.
The screen comes to life with the most patronising musical
tribute to Totalvision.
A score of armed guards march with purpose down the hallway.

Past the vandalised screens.

Past a sign pointing the way to the school
The programme being shown to the students is pure

Major positive historical events are shown through the point
of view of people happily watching them on television



GEOFFREY is clearly getting stressed watching it
History comes and history goes,
but Totalvision will be here
The programme finishes. There is a smattering of applause.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
The students rise. GEOFFREY is the first to make a break for
the door.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
All except Mr. Geoffrey Anderson.
Stay. We have some questions for
GEOFFREY stands motionless as the rest of the class filters
through the door.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Mr. Anderson, I trust you found
today's lesson most enlightening.
GEOFFREY shrugs.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Speak up, boy. I'm just a voice, I
can't see you.
I shrugged.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
A sign of uncertainty. What is it
that you are so uncertain of?
I'd like to know what exactly the
purpose of this so called
education is.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
I would have thought it to be
obvious. To inform the youth of
the exploits of our forefathers,
to ensure their mistakes are never
repeated. All in the name of
building a safe and brighter


                       TEACHER (cont'd)
I see. That would be an excellent
idea if only these exploits we're
learning about were something more
than a complete and utter load of
The lights cut out.
                       TEACHER (v.o.)
Thank you for your views,
Geoffrey. They will be dealt with
in the appropriate manner. In this
case you will have the privilege
of being the first test subject in
our new mind purification
programme. Starting now.
Guards pour into the room and grab GEOFFREY.
The guards drag a struggling and screaming GEOFFREY along.

People stare as they walk past, many with concern.

All the screens in the area switch on and display a cheerful
children's show, a shameless attempt at redirecting
everyone's attention. It works.
GEOFFREY is thrown into this claustrophobia inducing room,
the only room we have seen so far that appears to have no

The guards leave and lock the door.

Believing he is alone, GEOFFREY screams and kicks at the

THADDEUS BOLT emerges from the shadows.
GEOFFREY freezes.


GEOFFREY refuses to move.
Thick black ropes appear and ensnare GEOFFREY. He is
suspended in a seated position albeit practically upside
Watch. Learn.
The room is blindingly illuminated as every wall, the
ceiling and the floor become screens.

GEOFFREY'S screams become deafening.
The kid's show still plays on the screen.

Everyone still smiles at it.
We see the show being filmed live.

WENDY stands behind the camera, savouring the moment.
The usual group sit in their usual places, including BEN.

They all watch the screen cheerfully.

BEN'S smile momentarily fades.
Four guards throw a trembling GEOFFREY into this bare, dank

GEOFFREY lies curled up in a foetal position.

The guards leave, locking the door. GEOFFREY still trembles


The plaza is empty of life. The lights slowly fade.

THADDEUS BOLT'S voice calls out over a loudspeaker.
                       BOLT (v.o.)
Sheltarians! This is an automated
warning. It is ten minutes until
nightly lockdown.
The last stragglers are returning to their living quarters.

Among them are three very strangely dressed fellows who are
keeping their distance from everyone else.

The tallest of these three nods once they are out of
eyesight of the other sheltarians.

All three make a run for the main plaza.
Once inside, the trio loosen their disguises. It is TED,

TED dashes ahead of the group to the foot of the statue of

At the foot of the statue is a plaque inscribed with the

TED runs his fingers over some of the letters on the plaque.


Suddenly the screen behind them comes to life. The trio
recoil in unison, surely they have been caught.

Or maybe not. The display on the screen is of a simple
staircase leading down.

The trio tentatively approach the screen.

TED reaches out to touch it and discovers that this isn't an
image of a staircase. It IS a staircase.


A noise from above them.

They look up to see the protective glass that usually
conceals the secret passage. It is descending.

The trio hastily begin climbing down the steps.
                                         FADE TO
It is the morning. The early-bird sheltarians are out and
about already.

A news report plays on the screen. TOM is the newsreader.
An update on our top story. After
a major code of Shelter conduct
was violated three days ago, the
young perpetrator who claimed the
innate knowledge of Totalvision to
be a lie was apprehended at the
scene. Head of sciences Dr. Brian
Wash and Head of Security Thaddeus
Bolt revealed today that the youth
in question, Geoffrey Anderson,
has completed his first stage of
mind purification. He will remain
in custody until they are
convinced he is safe to
TOM finishes off the report. WENDY and NIGEL watch.
We'll be back in an hour with
another update. Goodbye, stay
Cut! Feedback time. Go on, Nigel,
spread your wings.
Media team!


The team gather around NIGEL.
Now, I suppose you thought that
was good acting, yes? Well it
wasn't good acting. In fact it was
quite bad. Remember what we talked
about last time, team cooperation.
Working as a team we can
accomplish anything. But that
wasn't good. Tom, try harder,
please. Now get out of my sight.
Please. Thank you.
NIGEL'S nervous lecture has failed to inspire.
Clear off!
The team disperses. NIGEL tries to go with them.

WENDY grabs him.
That was total poppycock, Nigel.
They almost respect you as little
as I do. You do have a lot to
learn, young man. I'm going to
have to teach it to you.
WENDY drags NIGEL towards the door, in full seductive mode

TOM approaches CAZ.
So, Caz, we have fifteen minutes.
Want to grab that coffee you've
always dreamed about?
I'd love to.
Of course you would.
But its my turn to guard the
entrance until Wendy gets back.
Jimmy can do that. Can't you


JIMMY RIDDLE leans against a wall. No sound. No movement.
                       TOM (cont.)
Yeah he can. Lets go, sweetie.
The cell is brightly lit like a theatrical stage. A camera
is also set up in one corner.

An ANNOUNCER steps in front of the camera.
Have you been having unsafe
thoughts lately? Are they scaring
you? Do you wish they would just
go away? And do you also want the
latest trend to date? We have an
offer you can't refuse. It's the
newest innovation in our new mind
safety brand. Listen to this.
GEOFFREY is thrown into the cell wearing a colourful

GEOFFREY poses, looking mindless.
                       ANNOUNCER (cont.)
Our new range of safety jackets
work by containing your body which
in turn trains your mind to
contain any thoughts that could be
deemed unsafe. And all the while
you'll look dashing, with hundreds
of colours and patterns to choose
from and new materials such as
velvet and silk. Don't be the one
left bouncing off the walls. Get a
safety jacket and keep it
straight, mate.
The camera is quickly shut off and the announcer runs out
and locks the door behind him, terrified of poor GEOFFREY.
Two guards pace past the holding cells.
                       GUARD 1
Is it midday yet?


                       GUARD 2
                       GUARD 1
I'm going to ask you again in a
minute but this time I want you to
say "yes".
Is it midday yet?
                       GUARD 2
                       GUARD 1
Thank God.
The guard takes a needle out of his pocket and injects
himself with Hero while singing its slogan. The other guard
does the same.

Smiling, they lean against the wall and slowly slump to the
floor as their bodies react to the drug.

A screen opposite them switches on.
We now return to our movie
premiere of Masked Cheerleader
Killer from Mars 3.
The film starts.

TOM is dressed in a ridiculous costume holding a gun made of
cardboard. He has three hostages including JIMMY RIDDLE and
Why are you doing this to us,
Rupert? I thought you loved me.
You betrayed me, sweetheart. You
should never have become a
cheerleader. Now you and your
friends will pay.
JIMMY holds out a cue card that reads "NO!"
Shut up! I'm the daddy now.
The third hostage leaps towards TOM and they perform a
clumsily choreographed fight scene.


The sound of pre-recorded sirens stops them.
The cops!
The sirens suddenly stop and static is heard. All the actors

3 familiar voices are heard performing a strange sort of
How can you have a beach with no
Fake sun, wind produced by a fan.
Cardboard cut-out for an ice cream
These are just a few of the things
we can't stand.
I've had it up to here with this
society of fear.
They always try to feed us with
things we don't need.
They always try to lead us with
ads promoting greed.
Just stop it.
Remember the days when the weather
was the topic?
Shelter? Ha ha! Ho ho! Hee hee!
Everyone is laughing but the
joke's on me. Whats so funny I
fail to see about living in a
world that denies you being free.


We'll hit you when you least
expect it. When its too damn late
to protect it.
And when the time comes to inspect
it you'll respect us knowing we
wrecked it.
'Cause when you're walking and
talking and thinking their
thoughts and you're teaching your
kids all the things that you
ought, you'll thank us, you'll
love us, you'll know we were
right. You'll wake up and listen
and help us to fight!
Everything goes quiet.

The media team still gawp. The guards watching still gawp.

WENDY runs into shot.
The screen goes dead.
The media team take cover as WENDY rages.
Who shall I kill first?! Nigel,
get in here!
NIGEL runs in, his clothes looking dishevelled.
It isn't my fault, I swear.
We're making an emergency report.
Grab a cameraman. The rest of you
don't move a muscle.


NIGEL places JIMMY behind a preset camera before being
thrown behind the desk by WENDY.
Agree with whatever I say now.
Always do.
Action! Good morning, Sheltarians.
I'm Wendy Di Vallux.
And I'm-
We are sorry to interrupt our
regular schedule but on behalf of
the media team I would like to
apologise for the unexpected
outburst during our last
programme. Despite the offensive
use of outlawed hip-rap this
incident is thought to be nothing
more than a misjudged and immature
I pretty much would say the same
Any viewers disturbed by this
incident are advised to take an
emergency shot of Hero-In-You but
not to avoid watching any
subsequent programming today. What
do we have coming up next, toad?
We have, I believe, an advert for
awareness of harassment in the
WENDY shoots him an evil look. But this becomes the least of
his worries as again the weather trio's voices ring out
Adverts, Hero, Totalvision!


All of these things are a
voluntary prison.
JIMMY stays frozen.
We're here to lift the veil of
secrecy from your eyes.
We're here to tell the truth and
the truth is...
Turn the camera off! We're sorry
about this, Sheltarians. There
seems to be a malfunction with-
The weather trio burst into the room. NIGEL screams.

WENDY and NIGEL are tied up using the cords from their own
microphones as the following rap is delivered
Freedom isn't here, its up there!
We don't care about the danger and
the losses.
They're devils with halos. It's
time to boss the bosses.
Nigel, do something!
SUSAN shoves a sock in to WENDY'S mouth, shutting her up for

NIGEL tries to reach the camera's power cord.
GEOFFREY watches the chaos onscreen with interest.


I ain't a sheep like most of these
creeps. I'll be hunted by police
for disturbing the peace. We're
the only ones standing up for the
right, predicting hail in the day
and typhoons in the night.
Theres a better way, lets go to
plan A.
Plan A! We'll control the system,
the words we'll twist 'em, we'll
expose the prison then the world
will have to listen.
NIGEL pulls the cord and unplugs the camera.
You demons!
WENDY is trying to shout something but it is muffled by the
gag still in her mouth.

TED removes a bottle out of his pocket and squeezes some
liquid from it across NIGEL'S forehead.

NIGEL leans close enough to read the label on the bottle.
TED, TREVOR and SUSAN escape to the sound of NIGEL'S
The usually busy studio is now practically empty.

Only NIGEL is present, writing something on an oversized
Dear Dick, on behalf of all of us
at the media team please accept
this small gift as the tiniest
part of our apologies to you for
our misbehaviour. We hope you will


                       NIGEL (cont'd)
find it in your heart to forgive
us as we are all-
                       WENDY (o.s.)
WENDY enters. She is dressed like a jockey and holds a
riding crop.
I'm busy now, Wendy. I'm making
this apology card for Dick. Its
got sequins and butterflys stuck
on because I know he likes them.
WENDY takes the card and rips it in two.
Time for your personal punishment.
Oh, God help me. Not now, Wendy,
Who is Wendy? My name is Frau
Schmertzen. Now get on the floor
you ugly, vile, snivelling,
pathetic, obtuse, wretched,
abysmal, bleating...
      (WENDY produces a
       booklet from her
       pocket and scans
       it for more
       offensive words)
Abominable, odious, repugnant,
lamentable, putrid...
She struggles to find more words. NIGEL helps.
Thank you. Fetid little man! You
know what is going to happen now.
I'm still sore, Frau.
WENDY pushes NIGEL to the floor and sits on his back.


You're wearing that cologne I
bought you. Nice. Now what is you
I can't hear you.
My name is Seabiscuit!
And what does Seabiscuit do?
He goes "neigh".
That doesn't sound like
NIGEL makes a noise that sounds like a dying horse.
NIGEL screams.

WENDY raises her riding crop but is suddenly startled as
THADDEUS BOLT'S voice calls out.
                       BOLT (v.o.)
Wendy Di Vallux. Nigel Atkins.
WENDY jumps off NIGEL and stands to attention.
Mr. Bolt.
      (to NIGEL)
Up, toad!
                       BOLT (v.o.)
I see that I am disturbing you
from your unique way of passing
time but it appears you have
forgotten about the shameful
display this morning.


Of course not. Just now I was
working out an apt punishment for
Nigel here seeing as it was his
                       BOLT (v.o.)
Don't bother giving excuses and
apologies to me. It is the far
less forgiving Mr. Tayter you
should save those for. I want a
personal meeting with you. Now.
We'll be there in two minutes.
                       BOLT (v.o.)
Just you, Di Vallux. You know
where to find me.
We'll continue this later, Nigel.
Don't forget to bring the
raspberry jam this time.
WENDY leaves a trembling NIGEL alone in the room.
TED, TREVOR and SUSAN ascend the tunnel leading up to a tiny
light in the distance.
I see it!
Are you sure it will be empty?
Its a storage room. No one should
be in there.
Can we hurry this up, please?


SUSAN runs ahead until she reaches the source of light. A
sheet of glass.
Give us a second, Susan, we'll
help you get through it.
SUSAN single-handedly breaks the glass.
I found out the hard way.
SUSAN emerges into the darkened room followed by TED.

TREVOR trails behind, breathing heavily.

He takes a puff from his green inhaler and suddenly looks
much more relaxed.
So far so good. Dick's working
lunch starts in an hour so that
will give us a chance to-
      (notices GEOFFREY
       sitting in the
No, this isn't strange at all.
Excuse us a minute, love.
By all means.
The weather trio huddle.
The map said...
SUSAN grabs the map off TED and screws it up.


Now what does it say?
Shhh! Don't panic, we haven't got
this far by panicing. There is a
way for us to pass through here
without him alerting the
I say we kill him.
      (Susan and Trevor
Joking, joking.
They laugh uncomfortably. GEOFFREY joins in.
Guys, look at him. I don't think
we have a problem here. He doesn't
recognise us.
Aha! I recognise you. You're those
rapping rebels that are all over
the news.
The trio's smiles fade.
Aw, don't be embarrassed. I love
your work. Your very recent work,
that is.
Thanks. I think.
Look, sir, my colleasues and I are
on a quest of great importance but
as you know we are wanted
criminals. We want to leave here
with as little fuss as possible.
But make no mistake, if you stand


                       TED (cont'd)
in our way don't expect us to go
down without a fight.
Spoken like a true hero. Relax,
people, I'm not your enemy. The
last thing I'm going to do is turn
you in to Dick Tayter in return
for the reward of an automatic
toothpick cleaner.
Very sensible.
Truth be told, this is an honour.
I admire you all. You have the
strength to say what you want and
get away with it. You see this
jacket? These four walls? This is
what I get for my beliefs.
A kindred spirit.
In a sense, yeah. I hate this
Shelter. Even if it kills me I
will get to the surface.
TREVOR and SUSAN giggle with glee.
Untie him, Trev.
Guys! You buy this? If what he
says were true Dick would have him
lobotomized by now.
How right you are. But have you
not heard the news? I'm the guy
who questioned the system. I'm the
guy they tried to silence. I'm
Geoffrey Goddamn Anderson.
You're him?


I know I don't look like much of a
rebel. Sorry about that.
That's alright.
Untie him, Trev! Forgive me for
being so mistrusting, Geoff, but
you know how it it. My name is
Ted, this young man is Trevor and
this is Susan.
I know, I used to watch you every
Once our work is done you won't
have to live in fear of this kind
of torture any more.
Can't wait.
But now – and no offence to you
Geoff – we need to get out of here
and find somewhere to lay low.
A place unoccupied by Sheltarians?
That would be lovely.
But I doubt such a place exists
down here. They are everywhere.
False. I know just the place
you're looking for.
TED grabs his crumpled up map.


You won't find it on any map, it's
still under construction. I'll
show you the way.
No, Geoff! Run away. You are free
Run to where? There is no free.
Not yet. Like I said, you have the
strength and knowledge and
charisma to tell everyone they
have a choice and I want to make
sure that does happen.
You really want to put yourself in
danger again?
Yes please.
GEOFFREY follows the trio back into the tunnel.
I hope you like moles, Geoff.
WENDY sits uncomfortably opposite BOLT'S desk in this room
filled with artefacts from the surface world.

Her old, splintery chair creaks as she adjusts it.
      (to a portait of
Anything in particular stopping
you from buying new furniture,
WENDY jumps as a door opens.

BOLT enters.
There seems to be this notion that
the older things like these are,
the more they are worth. Don't
think of this as me trying to say
that I am better off than you,


                       BOLT (cont'd)
though. I know you're well aware
of that already.
You speak truth.
Of course I do. It's been a long
time, girl, how the devil are you?
A long time? The last time you
called a meeting with anyone was
the day we outlawed reading.
What a day. No, I don't like
one-to-ones with other humans,
they are the lowest form of life.
This is just a matter of
      (Holds up a gold
       sealed envelope)
Instructions from Mr. Tayter for
both Nigel and yourself. These
aren't getting read out over any
WENDY takes the envelope and begins to unseal it.
You've spoken to Dick about what
He just gave me this but I don't
need him to tell me he's pissed to
figure out that he is pissed.
He isn't about to punish you,
though. He's fair like that.
So you've read what this says?
No, but I know what it says. Open
it now.


WENDY reads the letter and looks confused.
This was not what I had in mind.
What did you have in mind?
Perhaps keeping calm, reassuring
the Sheltarians that they are
still safe while we quickly find
these weathermen and string them
up by their neckties.
Telling the Sheltarians to stay
Or at least a controlled, united
opposition to these rebels. What
Dick is asking is for mass panic.
The first mass panic since the
formation of the Shelter.
And why should he want anything
Excuse me?
Yes you really have forgotten what
surface life was like. Wendy, we
have had four breachers in the
past week. The first cases of
rebellion we've had down here.
Ergo its time something was done
to strengthen people's faith in
the Shelter before we get another
Exactly, so we should unite them.
That is what we're going to do.
Fear is the way to unite people.
It is the only way to unite


Is it? A patriotic alliance will
unite them too. Panic is
impossible to control, thats why
we all came down here.
No. The Shelter wasn't built to
escape the fear. The fear was
built to get people inside the
Shelter. Since the dawn of time
the human race refused to accept
unity. They always had to be at
odds or in competition with one
another whether it be as major as
nations going to war over
something so trivial it could be
resolved in a coin toss or as
minor as two teenagers having a
spat over who has the better taste
in music. See why we banned the
stuff? Even people without an
aggressive bone in their body
would take pride in making
divisions among themselves by
arguing over what group of
muscle-heads were better at
kicking a ball around a field.
See? Lowest form of life. Never
happy unless they're at each
other's throats. That attribute
was one of the only things that
united them. That and one other
Fear. The worst of enemies will
band together if it were the only
way to save their miserable hides
from certain death. Take away that
fear of death and they'll be foes
once again.
I really do remember things much
Everyone tries to. You're older
now, though, and wiser. You and
that Nigel boy fabricate stories


                       BOLT (cont'd)
about how dangerous the surface is
to keep that dread bubbling in the
back of the peoples' minds and God
knows you've been doing a good
job. Its been eighteen years but
now we have our first four foes.
Time to return to Dick's tried and
tested method.
I'll arrange a news special
Do it. You seem adept at this kind
of thing. Make them tremble,
Wendy. Make clear to all of them
that the only way they'll survive
is by following Dick's every word.
WENDY and NIGEL sit behind the desk.
Good evening, Sheltarians. As you
all saw there was a major
disturbance this morning as former
Totalvision employees Ted
Morrisson, Susan Lynch and Trevor
Balder forced entry to the media
studio spouting the most
rebellious hip-rap.
An immediate manhunt was initiated
to find these rogue weathermen,
however it seems the situation is
much more severe than was first
We join assistant security officer
Justice Higgins who has the full
story. Justice?
An image of TOM dressed in a rumpled suit and wig appears on
the screen behind them.


Thank you, Wendy. As you all know,
these rebels are all armed with
highly volatile, rebellious rap
obviously intended to poison the
minds of those who heard. Even
more unnerving is the recent
evidence confirming an even more
terrifying weapon in their
arsenal. We believe that these
terrorists have in fact gained
access to the surface through the
use of stolen protective suits and
have brought back with them
samples of the surface's
poisionous atmosphere, this was in
fact confirmed by Dr. Brian Wash
just hours ago. It is clear now it
is in their intent to spark of
chemical warfare inside the
Shelter if we do not meet their
demands. Unfortunately our
security team has lost their
whereabouts some hours ago but all
of our officers are on constant
patrols of every sector in the
hopes of relocating them.
Thank you, Justice.
TOM'S image disappears.
In response to this emerged
threat, Mr. Richard Tayter himself
has issued a warning to all
Sheltarians to be on highest
alert. These terrorists could be
anywhere at this moment, they
could even be inside your own
homes and by now they most
probably are. If seen do not
approach them, I repeat do not
approach them. Sheltarian minds
have no resistance to the kind of
venom these people wield.


Quite. Sheltarians, it is
imperative that you keep an ear on
the news at all times during this
state of emergency. Lock all you
doors, run from every shadow and
reject every stray thought that
enters your head for it will
surely become twisted into an
unsafe one. This is Wendy Di
Vallux, Chief of Global
Communications saying goodnight
and safe dreams.
The site is empty of all life as the builders have evidently
gone home for the night.

GEOFFREY, TED, SUSAN and TREVOR enter and admire their
temporary new headquarters.
This is it. Completely dead after
working hours. We'll have to keep
on the move during the day
obviously but it will work, don't
you think?
With a little fixing up it'll be
      (to Ted and Trevor)
Want to get started on that, you
Just us two?
Yes, you're a couple of strong
men, give the lady and the tired
young lad some rest.
Just do it, Trev.
But she can break glass!


So imagine what she could do to
TED and TREVOR set to work moving obstructions to create a
living space.
      (to Geoffrey)
Sweetie, don't feel you have to
stay here and do the whole
fugitive thing with us. You still
have a home you can go to, don't
I'm afraid not. Those psychos have
already bugged my home, my school
and every other place I visit in
my day-to-day life. They wanted to
make sure I was on my best
behaviour once they released me.
Guess you're all stuck with me for
a while.
                                         JUMP TO
Some time later.

GEOFFREY and the weather-trio sit around a makeshift table.
It isn't some fantastical story,
really. This place, this way of
life was beginning to get
unbearable. For so long I had just
smiled and nodded and gone along
with whatever I was told to do
because I didn't want to upset my
parents. But after they went I had
no reason to.
Did you stop taking Hero-in You?
Eventually I did and believe me
when I say most of its effects are
illusory. It is just a
tranquiliser to discourage people
from thinking by making the act


                       GEOFFREY (cont'd)
such a chore. Without it I had a
much bigger urge to speak my mind.
And I did, I just spoke my mind.
Was it that bad?
Hell itself. Stuck in one room,
starved and bound, forced to watch
non-stop Totalvision programmes
coming at me from all angles while
my veins were pumped full of Hero
until I would pass out at night,
just in time for sicko scientist
to poke and prod my brain with all
manner of devices.
You poor thing. How did you get
through it without snapping?
My parents again. I remember my
father always used to say that the
only thing he wanted out of life
was for me to make him proud. I
couldn't disappoint him by
becoming a mindless, dribbling
wreck so by again smiling and
nodding at whatever the powers
that be said to me, they had no
choice but to say I was sane.
Well thats definitely one to tell
the grandkids.
Oh, I will. Ok, we're safe now,
away from any possible
surveillance, so tell me how the
hell did you manage to get from
doomed weathermen to feared rebels
so quickly?
After sun.
Pardon me?


TED pulls the top secret document that was stuck to his
birthday card out of his pocket.
I found this beauty quite by
accident. Our boss' assistant is a
trainwreck on legs and it wasn't
the wisest idea for someone to
trust him with this; Dick Tayter's
supply list.
What's it say?
Nigel. Mr. Tayter on business trip
until Friday. Ensure these items
are delivered to him upon his
return. Tea, peanut butter,
petroleum jelly...
What are those things?
They were all outlawed years ago.
But they aren't important. The
last item on the list is after
sun. Now, where would Dick have
gone that would necessitate the
use of after sun upon his return?
The surface.
Maybe it was because we were about
to die, but suddenly we all felt
so awake. If Dick had access to
the surface that means it would be
safe for human life. If
Totalvision was lying about the
state of the surface, who knows
what else they lied about?
But we needed proof first.
You needed proof first.


Whatever, but since we had the
code to Dick's living quarters on
that memo we had to see for
TED, SUSAN and TREVOR descend the dark tunnel.
                       TED (v.o.)
Dick must certainly love his
privacy, because no visitor would
want to make that journey every
The trio reach a wooden door about fifty feet tall with
pictures of surface animals engraved into it.

TED presses some buttons on a keypad next to the door. It
An extravagant living space. Everything a person could ever
need contained within four walls.
Look, a sofa with cushions! Safety
hazard indeed.
SUSAN slouches on the sofa.
And music! Real music!
TED paws through a huge CD collection while TREVOR admires a
huge cabinet filled with books.
                       TED (v.o.)
It would have been easy right then
to forget our mission, what with
this being our first exposure in
years to Beethoven and Shakespear,


                       TED (cont'd)
or that tacky German wig-wearer
and pretentious English heretic of
a writer as Dick would put it.
These may have been proof enough
that these items weren't as unsafe
as we were told but we still
needed that one lynchpin we had
come for.
Theodore, I think I have found
SUSAN holds up a bottle.

TED comes closer and grabs it off her.
What does it say?
After sun. To be used after sun.
SUSAN and TREVOR gasp.
That means we don't have to die.
That means we have to tell someone
– everyone – that there is still a
surface and we still have the
choice to live on it.
Ted, we are the only ones who will
want to live on it. All the
Sheltarians love the Shelter. They
are guaranteed safety. Are they
really going to want to leave?
The whole Totalvision regime is
bullshit. We can't believe
anything Dick has said to us over
these eighteen years. I mean, look
at all this stuff, this allegedly
life-threatening material that was
meant to have been disposed of for
the good of the Shelter, all here
in his private stash. We spread
this knowledge to the Sheltarians


                       TED (cont'd)
and we'll plant the seeds of
doubt. Show them all proof and
they'll blossom. Sounds fair to
Ted, you always have been the
ambitious one...
Have I, Trev? You are both behind
me on this, aren't you? Or would
you rather tread the coward's path
and slink off up to the free world
and leave everyone else to suffer?
We are with you, Ted, of course we
Even so, three ex-weathermen are
obviously going to have some
trouble speaking out against a
regime that controls more or less
the entire planet.
All we need to do is get them to
listen. That is the battle.
All we need to do is get them to
listen. That is the battle.
The Beethoven track ends. A new track begins. A hip-hop

TED, SUSAN and TREVOR'S eyes widen.
                       TED (v.o.)
And there it was. Infectious
beats. Biting lyrics. Hip-rap.
TED, SUSAN and TREVOR sing and hum along to the same tune as
they continue to clean up the area.


Well done.
The media team stands assembled.

NIGEL paces in front of them trying his best to look
Well done, all, for reading my
memo and getting here as quick as
possible and well done in general
for dealing with this state of
emergency with good...ness.
Anyhow, there are still certain
things that need to be done even
in these harsh circumstances.
NIGEL notices TOM giggling with CAZ. He marches over to the
This is not the right time for
this, Mr. Hounsom. In fact I think
that no lovey-dovey business is
permitted here. You have to honour
this job, Thomas, you're lucky to
have it.
TOM tries hard to stop himself from laughing at NIGEL.
Right. Sorry, sir.
TOM and CAZ resume their flirt as NIGEL turns.
I'm sure very few of you will be
aware of this because of our
discouragement of timekeeping
outside of the working environment
but this is a very important week
of the year. Its important both
for the Shelter as a whole and for
you as individuals. We always
expect you to strive towards
excellence but as with everything
in life there are certain rewards
for those who do actually reach
that excellence. So once a year we
issue those rewards in a two hour


                       NIGEL (cont'd)
televised ceremony. The
S.H.A.F.T.A Awards.
The media team all sigh and nod in recognition.
                       NIGEL (cont'd)
Taking into account our
circumstances, one may have
thought that this year the
ceremony would be postponed until
absolute safety could be
guaranteed. But we are all
fighters and Mr. Tayter has
announced for us to go ahead as
Dick is sure it will be safe
There are dangers, and Dick has
acknowledged that fact, but he
feels it is important that it goes
ahead. Only this year security
will be paramount instead of

CAZ notices this and nudges him.
So, media team! Your efforts this
week are more important than ever.
That extra smile as you say
goodnight, the enunciation of
those r's and t's and even the way
you comb or don't comb your hair –
all of it could spell the
difference between media team
member and S.H.A.F.T.A winner.
Good luck, my friends.
NIGEL leaves the team to ponder this as he walks through a
door into:
WENDY watches a construction team preparing the set for the


NIGEL joins her.
Do you think he saw that?
Dick sees it all, even your banal
pep-talks. You do realise that the
best Totalvision partnership award
requires both people in the
partnership to excel. You are
terrified, aren't you?
We really shouldn't be doing this
Where have I heard that before?
The weathermen won't remember
anything about these awards,
genius. Nobody has a clue about
dates any more.
But if they do...
If they do, they'll get shot. If
not, and if I win a S.H.A.F.T.A as
I really ought to, my influence in
this organisation will reach its
all time high. That way I can deal
with those three in any way I
want, ways that were outlawed even
on the surface.
It is really that important to
Yes. Really, really.
Sorry for being such a


WENDY ignores this.

NIGEL leaves, looking upset.
The Media team prepare themselves for the S.H.A.F.T.A awards
intercut with the Weather-trio and Geoffrey's exploits.

1. Each member of the Media team talks to a camera about why
they should win an award.
I'm the luckiest man alive to have
this job so I always try to give
something back. I'm always
professional, hard-working,
good-looking. What more do you
need in a S.H.A.F.T.A winner?
I love Dick. He's my hero. I would
bleach my hair for that man.
2. The weather trio walk conspicuously down a hallway
wearing disguises once again.

GEOFFREY walks behind, keeping an eye out for anyone who may
be suspicious.
3. JIMMY riddle stares silently into the camera while
holding a sign that reads "VOTE FOR JIMMY!".

NIGEL practices his "stern look" in a mirror.
4. TED is getting through stacks of paper trying to write

TREVOR and SUSAN experiment with new dance moves.

GEOFFREY looks on in amusement while keeping watch.
5. WENDY picks her best dress from a collection of
ridiculously extravagant ones.

She then takes even longer selecting a whip.


TED is still writing while his three companions relax after
what looks like a long day.

TREVOR stares at the half constructed clock.
Exactly 97 hours on the run now,
guys. This has all been pretty
darn exciting, eh?
It beats anything I've ever done.
Will you ever decide to join us
here, Ted? What are you doing,
Trevor had a point when he said
that three weathermen against all
of Totalvision would be a
difficult task to say the least.
You agree with me? Ted, are you
Not yet. I just realised that if
us three were to fail our vision
would die with us. Nothing will be
left left to keep our dream alive.
Isn't this talk of failing a bit
morbid for a Thursday evening,
Ted? What has brought this on?
As of now we have a plan. Read the
clock again, Trev. What is the
The eighteenth of October.
What is an Octover?


Its a month, Geoff. They were
before your time.
And tomorrow night is?
The nineteenth of October.
The seventeenth anual S.H.A.F.T.A
He's right. How did you remember
It came with being the most
ambitious one.
Ah, the awards. It used to be a
viewing highlight in my home. Even
I used to enjoy seeing every
member of Totalvision make a fool
out of themself just so that they
could have a better chance of
winning a little slab of metal.
Yes, everyone watches.
Sheltarians, Totalvision members,
even Dick.
Oh, God. I see where this is
How could it not go anywhere else?
Every living person will hear our
But it'll be our last message!
Says who? Geoffrey, you're young
and relatively virile. You can do
things we can't and you will be


                       TED (cont'd)
around a lot longer than any of
I'm flattered, I suppose.
Then three can become four. You
can be the one to fly the flag for
the next generation. If they do
catch us they will never destroy
our vision as long as you're still
free enough to keep it alive.
Me, a rapping rebel? Have you met
me? Do I look like someone with
experience in that field?
It isn't what you know, its who
you know. Weathermen, assemble.
TED hands a paper to SUSAN and TREVOR.

All three read the lyrics and start a rap.
Oh, Geoffrey, so you like what you
see. You want to look and talk
like us, we'll see what we can do.
Cheers, guys. Now, Geoff, what
d'ya stand like? Feet too far
apart and back hunched like you're
riding a bike.
TED and TREVOR adjust GEOFFREY'S posture.
Stand tall, neck long, chin up,
give a smile mate. Now over to Ted
because your clothes are in a bit
of a state.
Thanks, Suse. Geoff, you look like
a loser, do you think that you
would ever look cool without


                       TED (cont'd)
wearing a tie? Have mine, lovely
shade of red.
TED throws GEOFFREY his tie.
Wow! Thanks, Ted.
Think nothing of it, chap. Trevor,
teach this guy how to rap.
Cheers, T. Now, Geoff, there's no
logic to rap 'cause its art, you
see. I'll lend my good friend the
ability to ride the beat. Don't
stammer, keep it neat.
Ok, sir.
Take a deep breath from my
TREVOR sticks his inhaler in GEOFFREY'S mouth.
Now give it a bash.
GEOFFREY dances, copying the moves he's learnt from watching
the trio.
Go Geoffrey! Save the Shelter! Go
Geoffrey! Save the Shelter!
GEOFFREY erupts into excited laughter.

Exhausted, they all slump down onto their makeshift sofa.

GEOFFREY pours some drinks.
You'll be a pro by tomorrow.
Yeah, looking good. The dance, the
tie, you can borrow my glasses if
you like.


Maybe next time. Drink up, guys.
The trio take their glasses.
Thank you, Geoff.
Its just lemonade, no trouble. I
have loads of it.
I'm talking about everything up to
and including the lemonade.
Don't thank me, seriously. This is
my dream too. To have found you
guys...I am the lucky one.
Here's to victory then.
TED raises his glass. The others join him in the toast.
To victory.
TED, SUSAN and TREVOR drink.

GEOFFREY doesn't.
Good luck, my friends.
It is S.H.A.F.T.A night.

Members of the Media Team and several smart looking
Totalvision officials parade down the red carpet.

Large groups of Sheltarians cheer from the sidelines, behind
barriers of barbed wire.


News reporters speaking in several languages talk to a
camera introducing the event.
                       ENGLISH REPORTER
Welcome to everyone watching at
home, welcome to the S.H.A.F.T.A
awards; shafting me, shafting you
for the seventeenth year running.
The one night of the year when we
honour those professionals that
contribute so much to life and
aritstic death inside the Shelter.
WENDY and NIGEL wave to the fans as they walk past.
Try to look like you're enjoying
yourself, Nigel.
This kind of acting wasn't in my
job description.
WENDY leans over and kisses NIGEL on the cheek in a fake
show of affection to please the spectators.
You are so going to pay for this
later, big boy.
All the guests take their seats as hosts TOM (in drag as
LORRAINE THE THIRD) and CAZ take to the stage.

CAZ looks pissed at TOM – they obviously have had a
Good evening, world! Thank you all
Lets just crack straight on, shall
Good idea. No one likes a show


Someone in the audience wolf-whistles at TOM. He giggles and
blows a kiss.
BOLT looks relaxed as he watches the proceedings on a

He glances at another which displays the entrances to the
amphitheatre. They are all crawling with snipers.
To present this award for best
Advertising Campaign we have a
young lady who with her respectful
nature has been a great credit to
our team.
She's sexy, she's gorgeous...
She is what?
A real professional.
Ladies and gentlemen, the sort of
lovely Nancy Strudel.
Applause as NANCY takes to the stage.
Thank you. Public speaking has
never really been my thing.
Just tell us who won, then.
Oh. The nominees for this award
BOLT'S phone rings. He answers.


                       GUARD 1 (v.o.)
Team gamma have spotted
unauthorised movement at their
post. Shall we engage?
                       GUARD 1 (v.o.)
Hold fire!
No, ignore it. Go back to looking
like you're busy.
                       GUARD 1 (v.o.)
Sir, I...
Dick's orders.
An award recipient is giving an incoherent and tearful
acceptance speech.

She is swiftly escorted off the stage by two security
Well thats enough of that drama.
Hippocrite. The next award is one
of our most prestigious, as
without this person there simply
would be no Totalvision as we know
it today.
And he makes us look so beautiful,
too. Truly a big responsibilty.
Eh, Caz?
Right, Tom. Ooops, I mean
Lorraine. Very big, as if you'd
know anything about that.


The award for Outstanding
television photography goes to
Jimmy Riddle!

TOM and CAZ turn around to find JIMMY already standing
behind them.

TOM hands JIMMY the award.

A moment of silence, then to everyone's shock JIMMY speaks.
The thoughts of one Jimmy Riddle.
Whene'er I arose each morn' to our
most glorious abode here in
Richard Tayter's triumph of a
harmonious society, I couldn't
help but ask this of myself – "Do
you want it, Jimmy?", to which I
would verily answer "Yes. Yes I
do." And now I have it, thanks to
you, my loyal fanbase. Mother
would be so happy for me. Or would
she? I can't say I really care.
Jimmy Riddle, S.H.A.F.T.A winner,
thanking you.
Applause as JIMMY leaves the stage.
We now come to another most
anticipated little award – best
Totalvision partership. I know who
my favourite to win this one is.
Let us not get to far ahead of
ourselves, Caz. But I can't wait!
Get the envelope.
In the audience WENDY grabs NIGEL'S hand in another fake
display of affection.

WENDY digs her nails in.
And the nominees are; Shelter
scientists Brian Wash and Robert


Actress Nicki Bumbelby and her
lovely husband Paul.
Chief of Global Communications
Wendy Di Vallux and her assistant
Nigel Atkins.
And last but not least, Caz
McKenzie and some dashing young
stud named Thomas Hounsom.
And the award goes to...
      (opens enevelope)
Wendy and Nigel?!
      (ripping off his
WENDY and NIGEL walk onto stage to stilted applause.

CAZ begrudgingly hands WENDY the statuette.
Well, what can I say? Big honour,
big suprise and all that. Thanks.
Yes, thank you to all-
Stop milking it. I feel lucky to
be standing here today because in
all honesty ever since he was
assigned to me my job has been an
uphill struggle. His shyness, lack
of charisma, numerous sexual
advances – but that's another
The audience glares with disgust at NIGEL.
I'm a bad boy.
Now while I have the chance there
is something that I need to
address. Terrorism. I hate to


                       WENDY (cont'd)
bring down the usually jubilant
tone of this night of celebrations
but at the end of the day those
three terrorists still have their
claws dug into our precious way of
life. Can we just ignore it, even
if we surround ourselves with
fancy outfits and double-barrelled
surnames? Poppycock!
A small, scruffy looking middle aged man rises from his seat
and starts to waddle towards the stage.
Codswallop indeed, all of it.
Total, utter lunacy. How can we
stand up to volcano of agression
that lay dormant for so long, the
same typhoon of nihilism that
besmirched the once beautiful
surface? Are we doomed to watch
helplessly as history repeats
itself as it has a strange habit
of doing?
Excuse me, sir, but do you mind
telling me what the hell gives you
a right to speak?
Wendy, I'm so sorry, I don't
believe we have met. My name is
Richard. Richard Tayter. Call me
Everyone else in the room drops to their knees now that they
know they are in the presence of their leader.
Get up, you silly people. Kneeling
brings back memories of religion
and lord forbid we go there again.
Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest
man who ever lived.


That will do, Wendy. It has been a
fun show so far so let it
continue. I am here because I felt
the recipient of this next award
epitomises what it is to be a good
Sheltarian. The coveted Lifetime
Achievement Award goes to a truly
golden boy who respectfully
supported his parents' joint
euthanasia and has been a willing
volunteer for mind purification
and realignment in our newest mind
purification and realignment
centre. But he went above and
beyond merely being a model
citizen. Behold, his latest and
greatest achievement.
On a screen behind TAYTER we see the bold image of three
lifeless bodies.

TED. SUSAN. TREVOR. Thunderous applause.
                       TAYTER (cont'd)
The death of rebellion. A
potential disaster averted by the
courage of one man. Perhaps
history has repeated itself after
all. Let us honour this man
tonight. I give you our newest
savior. Geoffrey Anderson.
GEOFFREY enters and strides down the red carpet towards the
stage, shaking hands along the way, more than a hint of
madness in his eyes.

DICK TAYTER hands GEOFFREY the statuette once he reaches the
Thank you, thank you so much. I
know this may sound like a cliche
but this really is the ultimate
honour. I'd like to thank first
and foremost my parents, wherever
you are I know you are proud of
me. Thank you for teaching me that
we all create our own futures.
Also, kudos to the lovely media
team, I've always loved watching
you guys. And of course I give a
million thanks to the saintly Mr.
Dick Tayter. I promise I shall


                       GEOFFREY (cont'd)
remain the model Sheltarian that I
am for many years to come and I
hope that all of you follow my
example. God bless the Shelter!
GEOFFREY bows to the deafening cheers of everyone in the
BOLT watches with amusement. He too applauds.
Attaboy, Geoffrey.
The guests now enjoy drinks now the ceremony is over.

The place is generally crowded except for a private booth in
the corner where sits GEOFFREY.

DICK TAYTER picks up two drinks from the bartender and sits
down next to GEOFFREY.
My treat. Three times as strong as
what they sell to anyone else
here. So here we have the death of
rebellion. So here we have the
death of rebellion. Geoffrey
Goddamn Anderson. Very poetic. And
to think, just last week I thought
I'd lost you.
Oh yes. I hoped everyone might
have forgotten about that.
Not me. I keep a constant eye on
all my Sheltarians. Call me a big
softie but its because I care.
You do know I really am sorry
about that. I was a different
person last week.


That business, in the past. In the
end it all came down to a wrong
prescription of Hero-in-You but
the therapy sorted all that out.
Made you move onward and upward to
greater things and they don't come
much greater than your reward.
I know, this award is such a great
That little chunk of metal is only
the tiniest part of it. Just
handing you that thing is hardly a
worthy prize for someone who was
so courageous in the face of
definite danger and cunning and
inventive and ruthless. Like a
younger me and if that is anything
to go by, you'll go far in life.
I just did what anyone would have
Yet they didn't.
Thank you. I know I've exhausted
those two words already tonight
but thank you so much.
WENDY cuts through the crowd and approaches the booth.
Damn this woman, has she no shame?
Mr. Tayter? I am Wendy Di Vallux.
No shit.
Of course you would know that,
silly me. It is an honour to be in
your presence Mr. Tayter and
likewise for you, Mr. Anderson. I
hear you will be getting a
position on the media team and I


                       WENDY (cont'd)
most certainly am looking forward
to working side by side with the
Golden Boy.
Sorry to interrupt you, my dear,
but may I ask you a question?
For you, anything, your
Who gave you, a worthless excuse
for a woman, permission to speak
to me? Step away from me or I may
just regurgitate in disgust.
Mr. Tayter, I am the Chief of
Global Communications I'm merely-
You were the Chief of Global
Communications. You answer to Mr.
Anderson now.
What? What have I done to be
Let us call it a safety hazard.
You can't do this to me, your
Oh, I can, but I'm not doing
anything, he is. Geoffrey, do you
want to deal with this thing?
With pleasure. Ms. Di Vallux, get
out of my sight!
      (WENDY begins
       backing away)
WENDY gets on all fours.


Everyone in the bar has noticed this little scene and laugh
at the degraded woman.

Embarassed, WENDY snaps and jumps back up.
This is a joke! This child can't
replace me. I have been at the top
of this team from the time he was
still toilet training.
So that makes you what? Forty
Forty two, smart ass.
Forty two. Ooops.
Two guards appear and grab WENDY.
Oh shit.
It is not safe for anyone to skip
compulsory-voluntary euthansia.
You rat-faced little bastard!
The guards drag WENDY away.
Bye bye, Wendy.
      (to Dick Tayter)
Chief of Global Communications?
Yes. I've was thinking of
replacing Di Vallux for a long
time now, and I'll be hard pressed
to find a better successor.
WENDY tries to break free of the guards grip, screaming back


Bastard! He's scared, thats why
he's doing this. The great Dick
Tayter is scared of a little boy,
he knows what he can do!
The guards inject WENDY with a shot of Hero-in-You which
quiets her.
Women, eh? Someone like that isn't
good for a healthy working
NIGEL has seen all this and emerges through the crowd.
Mr. Anderson, you are a wonderful
NIGEL throws his arms around GEOFFREY in an embrace of
gratitude then starts to dance.
Geoffrey, meet your personal
I'm free! I'm free!
That's right, sweetheart. Time for
a new start for you. First thing
Monday morning, your appraisal.
Bring lots of jam.
GEOFFREY slaps NIGEL hard on the back then pushes him away.
Oh, Another one.
NIGEL grabs a drink from one of the tables and slumps into a
vacant booth.

WENDY, now semi-conscious, is dragged past.
He's afraid, he's scared. Thats
the only reason. You're next,
Quiet, bitch.


NIGEL downs the glass.
The once filled performance area is now empty save for

TAYTER puts his arm around GEOFFREY as they descend the red
carpet towards the exit.
Well done, Geoffrey. You seem to
have a natural knack for tyranny.
I like that, its just the sort of
skill that needs nurturing from an
early stage. Whats say I give you
some lessons in leadership this
Sounds good.
In my luxury guest appartments?
Sounds even better.
On the surface.
GEOFFREY freezes.
So there are people up there?
You could say that but I prefer to
think of them as something more
than just people as they all have
proved themselves above and beyond
the mediocrity of the masses. As I
have, and now as you have. The
strong inherit the surface and the
weak inherit the Shelter. The
weak, the mindless, the helpless
and the hopeless, your average
Somehow I always knew. Well, those
weathermen told me something about
there still being life up there


                       GEOFFREY (cont'd)
but I just put it down to
rebellious talk.
They did? Deary me, you were lucky
to survive your encounter with
them in one piece.
TAYTER opens the doors to reveal a crowd of cheering
Sheltarians still behind the barbed wire.

BEN stands near the front of this sea of bodies.
Geoff! Geoffrey! Its me. See,
didn't I say that you'll go
A friend of yours?
GEOFFREY and TAYTER wave to all their fans and followers.
Look at them all. To all these
mindless creatures the Shelter is
all there is and all they could
ever want and now they rest
knowing that for now it is safe
again. A new life awaits you on
the Surface, where you belong.
Lets just hope the weather is

A band begins playing the Shelter's national anthem.

TAYTER starts the singing.
                       TAYTER (sung)
The Shelter is safe, the Shelter
is real, the Shelter lets you just
forget how to feel.


                       GEOFFREY (sung)
The Shelter's our future, the
Shelter's our home, the Shelter
lets us live and breathe all
The crowd continues this haunting song as GEOFFREY and
TAYTER are led down the red carpet by a posse of security
Sheltarians line the hallways, all singing.


The Sheltarians bow.
GEOFFREY and TAYTER continue waving to the masses as they
pass through.

They both walk through a small unassuming door which leads
A circular elevator-type room.

The door closes behind GEOFFREY and TAYTER but the singing
can still be heard.

TAYTER presses a button which plunges the room into

We hear a faint humming as the sound of the Sheltarians
grows fainter.

The doors open and light fills the room, a different type of
light to the artificial blue we have seen thus far in the

GEOFFREY and TAYTER step out.
A picturesque sunset over a green landscape. Not a single
cloud, building or person in sight. Perfection.


We see the delight on GEOFFREY'S face as for the first time
in his life he breathes fresh air.

TAYTER shuts the door behind them and locks it.

GEOFFREY walks and keeps walking.


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From Adam Green Date 5/12/2009 ***1/2
Good screenplay, I liked it. Maybe not laugh-out-loud funny but still I thought it was clever and very witty. I particularly like the ending - good twist and thought provoking and also very fitting for the genre. Would have given you a four but like I said it wasn't exactly laugh-out-loud funny but in general great job. Adam Green.

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