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Performing Arts
by Tyler Parker (polio098765@yahoo.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Mockumentary   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

A SHORT film about 6 people preparing to perform a play.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. PLANNING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
BOB, ALICE, SHELTON, and JACK are seated in desks that are
arranged in a circle. They all have scripts in front of
them. They have begun to discuss it.
                                                            
                       JACK
Bob, you are the protagonist,
Wilson.
                                                            
                       BOB
      (emphatically)
YES!
                                                            
                       JACK
Bob, please contain yourself.
Alice, you're his mother.
                                                            
Alice nods, then closes her eyes and starts humming.
                                                            
                       JACK
Alice, what are you doing?
                                                            
                       ALICE
I'm becoming Jane, the mother of
the protagonist.
                                                            
                       BOB
Ignorance! I can't work with her!
                                                            
Bob starts to stand, but Jack stops him.
                                                            
                       JACK
Really, Bob? Already?
                                                            
Bob sits.
                                                            
                       BOB
No. I was just stretching.
                                                            
                       JACK
Okay. Alice, please do that later.
We have no time for seances.
Shelton, you're the mysterious
creepy guy.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Golly-gee! Thanks!
                                                            

2.

                       BOB
This isn't the fifties.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Geez.
                                                            
                       BOB
Are you serious? I can't work with
him!
                                                            
                       JACK
Not again.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
He's a sore-sucker.
                                                            
Alice opens her eyes.
                                                            
                       ALICE
Can we just relax? The auras are
being disturbed.
                                                            
Awkward silence.
                                                            
                       BOB
So... are we done here?
                                                            
                       JACK
Yeah.
                                                            
They pack up their scripts, grab their backpacks, and head
out.
                                                            
 
INT. COMMENT ROOM - DAY
                                                            
A room. Silent. One chair with Bob in it. Bob sincerely
looks into the camera as he delivers his lines.
                                                            
                       BOB
This is a rather shabby cast. I
don't understand how genius like
myself can be brought down to this
level. I'm embarrassing. But, hey,
that Alice is a looker.
                                                            
 
INT. PRACTICE ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Bob, Alice, and Shelton are standing, warming up to perform.
Bob is stretching, Alice is doing a weird ritual meditation
dance, and Shelton is performing his lines with great vigor.
Jack walks in.
                                                            

3.

                       JACK
Alright, alright. Let's get
started.
                                                            
Bob, Alice, and Shelton stand attention.
                                                            
                       JACK
Let's start from the beginning.
And...go.
                                                            
Silence.
                                                            
                       JACK
Why is no one saying anything?
                                                            
                       BOB
I refuse to work while I'm
parched.
                                                            
                       JACK
Fine. SARAH.
                                                            
Sarah, the production aide, quickly runs in from offscreen.
She has a large bag on her shoulder.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yes?
                                                            
                       JACK
Jug.
                                                            
Sarah digs into her bag and takes out a jug of water. She
throws it to Bob. He chugs half of it while the other ones
look on, then throws it back to Sarah. She catches it, then
runs back offscreen.
                                                            
                       JACK
Now that that's handled, let's
begin. GO.
                                                            
Bob clears his throat dramatically.
                                                            
                       BOB
      (intensely)
I...
                                                            
                       JACK
STOP!
                                                            
All eyes towards Jack.
                                                            

4.

                       JACK
Gimme more conviction, but less
intensity. GO.
                                                            
                       BOB
      (less intensely)
I was...
                                                            
                       JACK
Cut, cut, cut. What was that?
                                                            
                       BOB
I'm trying to perform my part.
                                                            
                       JACK
Then do it right. GO.
                                                            
                       BOB
I was there...
                                                            
Jack grunts, throws his script on the ground, and walks out
while the others look on in confusion.
                                                            
 
INT. COMMENT ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Jack's in the hot seat now.
                                                            
                       JACK
Okay, I know I'm kinda pushy, but
this is my first production and I
want it to be perfect. Is that so
much to ask?
                                                            
 
INT. PRACTICE ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Jack walks back in and picks up his script.
                                                            
                       JACK
Okay, Bob, let's do this one more
time.
                                                            
                       BOB
      (sluggishly)
I was...
                                                            
Jack rolls up his script, speeds over to Bob, and whacks him
on the head with it. Bob flinches.
                                                            
                       BOB
How unprofessional!
                                                            

5.

                       JACK
Unprofessional! I'll show you
unprofessional!
                                                            
Jack begins to chase Bob around the room with the rolled-up
script. Bob emits sharp squeaks as he evades Jack's blows.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Boy, is this somethin'.
                                                            
 
INT. COMMENT ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Sarah is seated this time.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Hi, I'm Sarah, the productioin
aide. My job is basically to get
the coffee. Or in Bob's case, the
water. That man drinks at least 3
gallons a day. I'm afraid he'll
drown himself. Not that that's
bad.
                                                            
 
INT. PRACTICE ROOM. - DAY
                                                            
Bob, Alice, Sarah, and Shelton are standing in the room.
Sarah waves at the camera. Jack paces as he speaks.
                                                            
                       JACK
Okay, people, with a week 'till
the debut, we got no work
accomplished yesterday.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
That's 'cause you dummies started
chasing' each other around the
room.
                                                            
Jack gives a quick glare towards Shelton.
                                                            
                       JACK
In any case, today I decided we'd
start with Shelton's scenes. So if
you'll all turn to page 9...
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Aw, gee, this sure is swell of ya.
                                                            
                       JACK
Yeah, yeah. Okay. GO.
                                                            

6.

                       SHELTON
      (in a high-pitched
       voice)
Hey kid. Wanna lollipop? Well I
gotta whole closet, full o'
lollipops.
                                                            
Jack screams in frustration.
                                                            
                       JACK
This is dark, mysterious guy, not
freaky old pervert!
                                                            
                       SHELTON
I was just tryin' to liven it up a
bit.
                                                            
                       JACK
Just, think dark.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Okey dokey.
                                                            
                       JACK
Go.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
      (In a Dark
       Knight-esque
       voice)
Hey kid. Wanna lollipop?
                                                            
                       JACK
That...will work.
                                                            
Shelton smiles.
                                                            
 
INT. COMMENT ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Shelton's turn.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
It sure is swell working on as
fine a project as this one. I
mean, sure we've got our problems,
but it's fun. I think.
                                                            
 
INT. PRACTICE ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Jack enters as the cast is yet again streching and warming
up, loosening up themselves.
                                                            

7.

                       JACK
Alright, settle down guys. Let's
go to page fifteen and do the
dramatic mother-son scene.
                                                            
The cast flips through and finds the page.
                                                            
                       JACK
Alright, Alice.
                                                            
Alice clears her throat.
                                                            
                       ALICE
      (with conviction)
Son, I can't stand to see you like
this. Your morale has been shoved
out of your life, and all over a
girl. If you must continue your
filthy life, I'm afraid you must
leave. Goodbye, son.
                                                            
                       JACK
That...was perfect.
                                                            
Bob glares at Alice, and Shelton gives her a high five.
                                                            
                       BOB
Beginner's luck.
                                                            
                       JACK
I don't think so.
                                                            
Bob storms out, furious. Jack follows him out.
                                                            
                       SHELTON
Where's he goin'? His line's next.
                                                            
 
INT. SUPERVISOR WILSON'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Bob storms in, Jack following close behind. They are
arguing. Supervisor Wilson is asleep in her chair. Bob and
Jack stop at her desk.
                                                            
                       BOB
Supervisor Wilson, Jack's being a
smack-tard.
                                                            
                       JACK
And Bob's being stupid.
                                                            
                       BOB
Oh, yeah?
                                                            

8.

                       JACK
Yeah!
                                                            
                       SUPERVISOR WILSON
There is hope for the restless,
peace and forgiveness...
                                                            
                       BOB AND JACK
What?
                                                            
                       SUPERVISOR WILSON
Cain we all ju' gedalong? Please?
Cain we al ju' gedalong?
                                                            
Bob and Jack retreat slowly, then run out of the door. A
smirk appears on Supervisor Wilson's face.
                                                            
 
INT. PRACTICE ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Bob and Jack reenter, shaking hands.
                                                            
                       ALICE
Told ya it'd work.
                                                            
                       JACK
It's okay everyone, it's okay. Bob
and I have resolved our
differences and are ready to go.
Let's get down to business!
                                                            
                       ALICE AND SHELTON
To defeat...the Huns!
                                                            
Jack gives a "Why did you do that" shrug.
                                                            
                       JACK
Anyway, Page 1. GO.
                                                            
SUPERIMPOSE: The play and its cast went on to Broadway,
winning Tony's for the cast. (Just kidding.)

Everyone was paid $20 to do this documentary and most blew
it on video games or clothing accessories.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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