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Brownbag Public Service Announcment
by Erik Baker

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

Just a short practice skit based on all the lame anti-drug after school specials.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



BROWNBAG PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCMENT

FADE IN:

EXT. PARK - DAY
                                                            
The scene opens with two guys in their mid twenties sitting
on a bench in the park, listening to a boom box, smoking a
cigar joint of weed, and cutting up with each other. JAMES,
a chubby white guy, jumps into frame from out of no where
and lands right in front of them.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Sup Bros? Would either one of you
know where I could score some
cocaine in rock form, or perhaps
some meth amphetamine? I have this
used needle I found so I can
liquify and mainline them into my
anus.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Nah Bruh. That stuff is wack yo.
                                                            
                       WHITE GUY
That stuff is wack yo. I have this
cousin who tried meth once for
three straight years. A week
later, his penis and balls got
disentary...
                                                            
WHITE GUY pulls out a jar with a penis and balls floating
around in liquid, then looks into the camera.
                                                            
                       WHITE GUY
... and rotted off.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
      (Serious ominous
       tone)
Why the hell you still carring
that around for?
                                                            
WHITE GUY looks straight into the camera.
                                                            
                       WHITE GUY
As a reminder.
                                                            
                       JAMES
      (Discusted)
Jesus.
                                                            

2.

                       WHITE GUY
Yeah.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Wow, I never realized the risks
and ramifications of my current
actions bruhs.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Maybe you should stop using, no
better time then the now.
                                                            
                       JAMES
That sounds like the most
reasonable solution, but
unfortunatly it's too late for
me... I'm hooked.
                                                            
Both BLACK and WHITE GUY turn and stare at each other and
nod.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
      (Serious)
I had a cousin who was hooked
once. He used to be your typical
everyday guy; he had a job, kids,
a wife. But he lost it all.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Lost it all because of meth?
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
No... Gas leak.
                                                            
JAMES nods as if he understands then gets confused and
squints his eyes.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Anyway, he was never the same
after that... At least not until
he he fell in love with the
sweetest lady around.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Who?
                                                            
BLACK GUY takes a hit of the blunt he is holding, looks up
at JAMES, holds up the joint, and blows out the smoke.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Sweet, sweet Jane.
                                                            

3.

                       JAMES
Who's that?
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Shut the fuck up white boy.
                                                            
                       WHITE GUY
Yeeea white boy.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
After he started puffin the cheeb
he turned his whole life around.
Got a job at the M&M plant,
adopted a blind, mute kid so he
dosen't have to pay any taxes, and
married a white woman. Now he's
just livin' the dream.
                                                            
BLACK GUY takes another drag from his blunt.
                                                            
                       JAMES
I'm tired of my butt-hole hurting
all the time from constant sexual
favors I have to perform when I
run out of money for my sweet
daddy crank, could I try that...
and possibly get my life back on
track?
                                                            
JAMES reaches for the blunt and BLACK GUY hands it to him.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
Sho nigga knock yaself out.
                                                            
JAMES takes a big drag and starts to cough.
                                                            
BLACK and WHITE GUY both walk up in unison behind JAMES and
lean on his shoulders,
                                                            
                       JAMES
Wow... I never wanna suck a dick
for a rock again. Thanks guys...
you saved my life.
                                                            
                       BLACK GUY
We had nothing to do with your
life changing revelation. So give
credit where credits due baby.
                                                            
                       JAMES
Thanks Marajuana, for being my
anti-drug.
                                                            

4.

WHITE GUY reaches for the splif joint.
                                                            
                       WHITE GUY
I'm next in the rotation.
                                                            
                       JAMES
No troubled street punk number 2.
Next in the rotation... is
America.
                                                            
JAMES holds the blunt up to the camera as if passing it to
the audience.
                                                            
Both WHITE and BLACK GUY straighten up and solute to the
camera in unison.
                                                            
                                         THE END
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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