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by Nakita Joseph (nakita_jsph@yahoo.com)

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Drama User Review:

Victor and Valencia are a young couple about to have a baby. They live with Valencia's cruel mother, that'd rather see the young couple miserable than happy. Victor and Valencia are both faced with personal obstacles that eventually have negative impacts on both of them.

FADE IN:

EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE - DAY

A handsome young Puerto Rican man, VICTOR MORENO notices his
shift is over and packs up to go. On his way out various
other men call out good bye to him. He grabs a bottle of
water and catches the bus. On the bus he fights sleep.

EXT. OUTSIDE APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY

Walking the few blocks home he bumps into ROGER an old
friend.

            ROGER
      (Grabs Victor into
       a hug)
Victor! My man!

Roger is dressed really nice. All expensive designer
clothes, Roger is all smiles he is chatty with all the time
in the world.

VICTOR
(Hugs Roger back)
Roger, How you doin?

He's more reserved than Roger, more humble clothing and has
less time to kill.

            ROGER
      (He points to his
       expensive watch
       and shoes.)
Well you know I've been good.

Victor stays silent and nods.

ROGER
You and Valencia still together
right?

At the mention of his girlfriend Victor brightens.

            VICTOR
      (He nods and
       smiles)
Yeah we're 'bout to have a baby.

For some reason this makes Roger smile. Roger rubs his hands
together and grabs Victor by the shoulder.

ROGER
That's beautiful. God bless, but
listen babies require lots of
money.

Victor tries to cut in but Roger interrupts.

ROGER
You're gonna need extra paper to
do that baby right. What you need
to do is get with me.

He lifts up his shirt and shows off a gun.

Victor frowns at Roger and gets away from his grip.

VICTOR
What you do with that man?

Roger laughs rubbing his hands together again.

ROGER
(He laughs)
Anything I want.No but really I
get what I want with this. Then I
sell it or keep it depending on my
mood. I got a couple of young
dudes with me, but they're young
and dumb. I always gotta remind
them not to flash what they got
all the damn time.( He points at
Victor) but you you're smart, you
ain't flashy. Come make money with
me.

Victor smiles and shakes Roger's hand.

VICTOR
I appreciate you looking out but
I'm good. You be careful out
there.

HE TURNS TO WALK
AWAY.

Roger is clearly disappointed that Victor turned him down
shoves his hands in his designer pants pockets.

ROGER
I'm always careful, and I'm always
in the streets case you change ya
mind.

Victor keeps walking into the building he laughs shaking his
head.

INT. APARTMENT MOMENTS LATER - DAY

A young pretty Haitian woman (about 18) is in a kitchen
cooking. Another woman dressed in scrubs presumably the
young lady's mother is in the living room watching
television.

From the couch EMMA PIERRE calls out to her daughter,
VALENCIA PIERRE.

EMMA
Valencia! What are you in there
screwing up? You in there banging
things around. You messing up my
pots?

SHE LAUGHS MEANLY.

EMMA
Cause you know you can't cook.

Valencia looks over at her mother her lips tighten. She
tries to ignore her mother and continues cooking. She
glances at the clock often.

Emma not liking her daughter ignore her starts to stand.

EMMA
Hey!

Valencia quickly answers.

VALENCIA
I'm cooking Mom! So Victor can
have something to eat before he
goes to his next job.

At the mention of Victor's name Emma's eyes roll. She sits
back down.

EMMA
I don't know why you stand in the
kitchen for that lazy son of a
bitch. He can make his own damn
dinner.

She snorts rudely aiming the remote at the television
switching the channels.

EMMA
Got a lot of nerve have my
daughter in the house all day
slaving away for him. You used to
be smart in school, now you're not
even going to college anymore.

Valencia has enough. She angrily slams the top on a pot, and
turns the fire off. She walks over to the living room to
address her mother.

For a while she just stares at Emma. Waiting for her to
notice her cold gaze.

Upon feeling Valencia's gaze she looks up.

EMMA
You got something to say?

VALENCIA
(Hands on hip)
Yeah I do. First of all Victor is
anything but lazy. How lazy can
someone with two damn jobs be? And
second of all I do not mind making
him food, or doing his laundry. I
love him. And

Emma snorts rudely interrupting Valencia

Valencia pauses for a minute, and keeps talking.

VALENCIA
And I'm going back to school after
I have the baby.

Emma unnerved by Valencia's speech turns back to the TV.

EMMA
Well I guess you and that
degenerate have everything worked
out for your unborn bastard.

Valencia gasps audibly. Her mouth drops open. With a pained
expression she talks quietly to her mother. Shaking her
head.

VALENCIA
You don't mean that? I can't
believe you said that.

            EMMA
      (Looks right at
       Valencia)
I do mean that. Believe it.

VALENICA AND EMMA
SPEAK AT THE SAME
TIME.

A hurt Valencia puts her hands over her face. Breathing in
and out. Slowly she walks back to the kitchen to finish
dinner.

Emma leans over from the couch to watch her daughter walk
away.

VALENCIA
(Talks to herself)
I can't believe how cruel she's
been lately. Whatever Victor will
be home soon, I just need to
finish dinner.

The door opens. Emma and Valencia both look up. Victor
enters the small apartment.

Victor nods at Emma. Valencia and Victor lock eyes and
smile. Happily they walk over to one another and kiss and
hug.

Victor spins Valencia around.

VICTOR
You know you're the best part of
my day?

Valencia smiles brightly.

VALENCIA
For me too.

Emma snorts rudely, interrupting. Valencia frowns at her
mother.

Victor turns to say hello to her.

VICTOR
Hey Ms. Emma, how you doin'?

Emma looks at Victor up and down without speaking to him she
begins talking on her cell phone. She talks in Creole it
seems that she's talking about Victor.

Victor turns to Valencia confused.

VICTOR
What'd I do?

Valencia pulls him behind her to the kitchen.

VALENCIA
Ignore her she hates men. I made
you dinner.

INT. INT. KITCHEN A FEW MINUTES LATER - DAY

In the kitchen Valencia stands behind Victor with her arms
around him as he sits down to eat. Wiping his mouth with he
pulls Valencia into his lap and gives her a kiss.

VICTOR
This was a really good meal. Thank
you baby.

From the living room Emma pretends to watch TV, snorts
rudely at them after everything they say.

            EMMA
      (she mutters under
       her breath)
Humph! Good meal my ass�

An annoyed Victor wants to ignore her, it's becoming
difficult to do so. They talk quietly in the kitchen.
Valencia laughs.

EMMA
Why won't you guys stop lying?

Confused they just look at her.

EMMA
He acts like you cook good and you
act like he works hard. Stop
lying! Neither one of you are fit
to raise a damn baby.

That does it. They start walking to their bedroom.

VICTOR
You know Ms. Emma I'm not like
other dudes a lot of men leave
when they find out their woman's
pregnant. Of course you know all
(MORE)

VICTOR (cont'd)
about that. Don't you?

Emma's eyes bulge, she grabs her heart.

EMMA
Valencia! You hear what that no
good son of a bitch said about
your father? Your father was
killed in a war.

She's sputtering, and fighting back tears, walking around,
shaking her head she keeps mumbling to herself.

VALENCIA
Mom? Now who's the one who needs
to stop lying?

She pushes Victor towards the room, and stands at the
doorway of the room talking to her mother.

VALENCIA
You always say Daddy died in a war
when everybody know he ran off
with a younger woman.

Emma points at her.

EMMA
Don't you dare! Don't you dare try
to tell me about my man! I had a
good man�

Valencia just shakes her head at her mother. Emma tries to
enter the room and speak more of her mind but Valencia
closes the door on her.

INT. BEDROOM 10 MINUTES LATER - DAY

Victor is lying on the bed with the TV on not watching it.
Valencia comes and sits on him.

            VICTOR
      (he shakes his
       head.)
Man,I wish we had our own place.
Dammit I hate living with ya mom's
so much.

HE PUTS ONE ARM
BEHIND HIS HEAD.

VALENCIA
(She nods)
I wish we had our own place too.
But instead of hating her I just
feel sorry for her. When we're
gone she'll have no one.

Victor shrugs he doesn't care about Emma. He plays in
Valencia's hair.

VICTOR
I work these two damn jobs every
day. I'm busting my ass out there
so we can put up with this? He
shakes his head. It ain't right. I
should be able to provide for us
and the baby.

VALENCIA
You do, work hard and it's not for
nothing. We're saving so we can
move. I can work til the baby's
born to make things faster for us.

Victor frowns and looks away that's not how things should
be.

VICTOR
Nah we already got a plan. I work
now you go to school, and then
I'll go back to school sometime
when we can afford it.

Valencia nods her agreement.

VALENCIA
I love you. I just want to help
you.

SHE TOUCHES HIS
FACE.

They begin to kiss, and Victor takes his shirt off. He
brings Valencia closer to him, she screams out in pain, they
stop abruptly.

VICTOR
What'd I do?

VALENCIA
Nothing I bumped into the stair
railing when I took out the trash
this morning. I guess it's still
sore.

Victor looks at her for a while not speaking. Valencia gets
off him and lays beside him avoiding his sharp gaze.

VICTOR
She hit you?

            VALENCIA
      (She answers
       quickly.)
No.

Victor lifts her sleeves and shirt Valencia tries to pull
away. He sighs and gently continues. He finds what he's
looking for. Proof of her lie. Her back and arms have
visible bruises.

Embarrassed Valencia pulls down her shirt, and changes the
channels aimlessly. Victor stares at her, with a saddened
expression on his face, Valencia still avoids looking at
him.

VICTOR
Valencia?

She stares at the TV.

            VICTOR
      (He puts his shirt
       on getting off
       the bed.)
Valencia? I'ma go talk to your
mom. She can't keep hitting you
like that. What kind of woman hits
a pregnant girl?

Valencia pulls Victor back down to the bed. She has an
alarmed facial expression.

VALENCIA
No baby!

He turns to look at her.

VICTOR
I don't like this.

10.

HE REFUSES TO SIT
DOWN

Valencia has a hand on his shirt trying to pull him down.

VALENCIA
She'll only get madder than she is
now. And kick us out? And then
we'll be on the streets. You want
this baby to live on the streets?

Victor shakes his head.

VICTOR
'Course not.

She nods. He finally sits back down.

VALENCIA
(She looks at him.)
Good me either.I can work that way
we can leave faster.

Laying back down Victor shakes his head.

VICTOR
No. (He taps her nose with one
finger.) I'll pick up extra
shifts. I'll do whatever it takes
to get us out of here.

Valencia puts her head on Victor's chest changing the
subject.

VALENCIA
Today I spoke to Trina and Lauren.

VICTOR
(Bored)
Oh really?

Valencia hits Victor, and he laughs.

VALENCIA
Yeah really. And anyways they want
to plan a baby shower and go baby
shopping with me.

Valencia lifts her head up and looks him in the eye.

VALENCIA
Isn't that nice?

11.

Victor waits before speaking.

VICTOR
Yeah it's nice if they actually
show.

VALENCIA
(she whispers.)
They will show.

Victor puts a hand on Valencia's stomach.

VICTOR
I've been talking to lot of people
today, but none as special as my
little girl.

Valencia laughs.

VALENCIA
I haven't even went to the doctor
to find out the sex of the baby.
I'm going next week but you think
you know what the baby is?

Victor laughs ignores Valencia and keeps talking to the
baby.

VICTOR
Daddy knows you're a girl even if
Mommy doesn't.

Valencia smacks his arm and they laugh snuggling close to
one another watching TV.

EXT. OUTSIDE ON THE BLOCK NEXT DAY AFTERNOON - DAY

Victor is seen waiting on the street corner. Obviously he's
waiting for someone. He's still in his work clothes. Roger
once again in flashy clothes finally comes around the
corner, upon seeing Victor he hastens his steps.

Roger grabs Victor in a hug.

ROGER
My man Victor! So what's good you
trying to work?

Victor doesn't answer right away.

12.

VICTOR
Look I'm not doing this to be
ballin out of control or nothin'
like that. I got a baby on the way
and we need to move. Valencia's
mom's place just ain't big enough
for all of us anymore. So yeah I'm
ready to work, I'm gonna make a
little bit, and be on my way.

He sticks his hand out to Roger.

VICTOR
That cool with you?

Roger has one hand folded over his chest and the other
supporting his chin. He suddenly breaks into a big grin. He
grabs Victor's hand and shakes it.

ROGER
Whatever you want to do is cool
with me. Be in this game forever
or just a little bit. I don't care
as long as I'm getting mine.

Victor nods. Roger hands Victor a gun. Victor looks down at
it in his hands.

ROGER
Let's go get that money.

INT. BEDROOM SAME TIME AFTERNOON - DAY

Valencia is seen pacing her room back and forth frustrated.
She's dressed in shorts a, T-shirt, and flip flops. She's on
her phone. She begins to leave a message and cuts herself
off.

VALENCIA
Lauren hey its Valencia- call me
back when you get this.

She hangs up the phone, and sits on the bed gazing out the
window.

VALENCIA
(to herself.)
So I guess I really shouldn't have
believed them when they said they
would come huh?

She looks down at her belly with one hand on her stomach.

13.

Lets out a sigh of frustration.

She throws herself on her bed, laying there staring at the
ceiling.

EXT. ROGER'S CAR DAYS LATER THAT EVENING - NIGHT

Victor and Roger are sitting in Roger's car after just
robbing someone. They're splitting up the money.

ROGER
(Counting hundreds)
That's a whole lotta shit we just
got.

Victor nods he's waiting for Roger to give him his share.

VICTOR
I didn't think it'd be this easy.
People go for days with their
house unprotected making it easy
to just get in.

Roger nods and continues counting out the money.

ROGER
It's like I told you. Probably the
easiest fastest way you'll ever
make money.

Roger gives Victor his share.

VICTOR
Hey man I really do appreciate
this.

Roger smiles and nods.

ROGER
See Victor I wanted you around
cause you're smart. You ain't like
the other guys I got around. They
get a little bit of money and go
ape shit. You saving yours for a
place. I respect that. That's what
I like about you. Guys who have
goals in place make it easy to
trust them.

Somewhat confused Victor nods, puts his hand on the car to
leave.

14.

VICTOR
All right man. Tomorrow.

Victor exits the car. Roger waves and drives off. Victor
shakes his head and walks into his building.

INT. APARTMENT-DAYS LATER THAT SAME EVENING - NIGHT

Victor comes inside the apartment. He sees Emma. They both
look away. He goes into the kitchen expecting Valencia.
Valencia's not there, so Victor goes into their room. He
sees Valencia on the bed with sunglasses on, flipping
through a baby book. She sees him and smiles but doesn't
move to hug and kiss him.

VICTOR
Hey baby girl. I thought you'd be
in the kitchen.

Victor comes to the bed and kisses the side of Valencia's
face. She pulls away.

VALENCIA
(talking softly)
I left your dinner in the oven.
You should go eat it.

Valencia moves to the furthest edge of the bed. Victor moves
with her.

VICTOR
You trying to get rid of me?

VALENCIA
(Startled)
No!Why would you say that?

VICTOR
Then give me a kiss.

Valencia moves into kiss Victor he grabs the sunglasses off
her face. Valencia protests covering her eyes reaching for
them.

VICTOR
(Harshly)
Let me see your face Valencia.

Valencia cries, and lays on the bed her back facing him.

Victor leans over to see her face. Valencia still has her
back to him with her face covered in the pillow. He tries

15.

again in a softer tone. Valencia slowly rolls over and shows
him what he already knew. Bruised eyes, and scratches on her
face.

VICTOR
She hit you anywhere else?

Valencia shakes her head no.

VICTOR
You ok to walk?

Valencia nods.

VICTOR
Get what you want we leaving right
now.

Valencia sits up.

VALENCIA
Where? How? It just looks worse
than it is. Honestly it doesn't
even hurt.

Victor just stares at Valencia like she's crazy.

VALENCIA
I don't want to live on the
streets when we have a place.

Victor gets up, revealing from the closet a giant suitcase.
He walks back over to Valencia putting his hands on her
shoulders looking her in the eyes.

VICTOR
Do you trust me?

Valencia nods. Unconvinced Victor doesn't move.

VICTOR
Are you sure?

VALENCIA
Yeah I do.

Victor kisses her on the forehead.

VICTOR
Good. Get stuff you need for this
week.

16.

Confused Valencia stands up. Putting her sunglasses back on,
she starts throwing clothes in a bag.

VALENCIA
So we're leaving my mom's
apartment to go live where? A
Shelter the streets. I'm not
living on the streets with a
baby...

VICTOR
(slightly annoyed)
No we're leaving your mom that
beats on you when you're pregnant
to go be somewhere better than
this.

Valencia looks at him, looks away and packs the rest of her
belongings silently. Victor walks over to her standing
behind her he puts his arms around her. She stops packing
for a while.

VICTOR
I'm sorry baby. I just want the
best for you and the baby. I don't
want to see you hurt no more.

They kiss and finish packing.

INT. LIVING ROOM-DAYS LATER 20 MINUTES LATER - NIGHT

Victor and Valencia walk into the living room with their
belongings. Ignoring Emma, she sits wordlessly eating her
rice and beans.

EMMA
Where the hell are your broke
asses going? Don't even have rent
money but you can go on vacation?

They continue to ignore her. Victor turns to Valencia and
opens the front door.

VICTOR
Wait for me outside? I'll be down
in a minute.

EMMA
Valencia? Where you going?

17.

Valencia looks at Victor and nods. She looks at her mother
and walks out the door. Victor closes the door and faces
Emma.

EMMA
What the hell's going on you
asshole? Where you taking my baby?

Victor looks at her without speaking.

EMMA
Oh so you can't talk now? You
don't speak English anymore?
Standing there acting like you
can't hear me.

Victor pulls a gun on Emma. Emma screams and tries to run
out the door. But Victor blocks it. He points with the gun
for her to sit down. Crying she does.

VICTOR
(Shaking his head)
You're a piece of work Ms. Emma.
You're never hurting Valencia
again.

Victor paces the room back and forth gun in hand. Emma sits
terrified with her eyes on the gun.

VICTOR
You beat on your pregnant
daughter, call her all kind of
names, and then when she's leaving
she's your baby?

VICTOR
I love Valencia!

Victor spins around pointing the gun at her head.

VICTOR
No you fucking don't! I was
standing here contemplating on
ending your life.

Emma shudders visibly. Victor lowers the gun emptying the
clip puts it in his back pocket.

VICTOR
But that's why I'm different from
you and your pretend dead husband.
Unlike your sorry asses I love
Valencia. I would do anything to
make sure her and that baby are
(MORE)

18.

VICTOR (cont'd)
ok.

Emma silently cries. Victor head for the door. With a hand
on the door he looks back and offers one final warning.

VICTOR
Don't talk to Valencia anymore.
Act like she's your husband,
pretend she's dead.

After Victor leaves Emma breaks down into a fit of tears.

EXT. WALKING ON A BLOCK LATE THAT NIGHT. - NIGHT

Victor leads Valencia inside an apartment walking behind her
with his hands gently over her eyes.

VALENCIA
Baby we've been walking for a
while like this. How much longer
are you gonna keep my eyes
covered?

Victor laughs and removes his hands form her face when they
reach an apartment building. He opens the door for her.
Valencia hesitates.

Victor pulls the door open wider.

VICTOR
Go in.

Valencia hesitates more before walking inside. She turns to
Victor.

VALENCIA
Who do we know here?

VICTOR
You'll see.

INT. APARTMENT-LATE THAT EVENING MOMENTS LATER - NIGHT

Victor and Valencia walk into the building and go upstairs.
Valencia is surprised when Victor opens the door with a key.
Putting their bags and a sleeping bag down.

VALENCIA
Victor, whose key is that?

19.

Victor reaches into his back pocket and hold up another key.

VICTOR
This one is mine,

He places the other in her hand.

VICTOR
And this one is yours.

Smiling Valencia embraces him.

VICTOR
But we don't have a bed yet. All I
got right now is a sleeping bag.

They laugh then kiss. Sitting on the sleeping bag Valencia
smiles up at him.

VALENCIA
So the whole time you were out
making sure this happened?

Victor nods and looks away.

VICTOR
I told you I would.

Valencia nods.

VALENCIA
You did. I should have believed
you more.

Victor shrugs and smiles.

VICTOR
It's all good.

VALENCIA
Things are gonna get better for
us.

Victor nods agreeing with her kisses her and pulls away.
With one hand on the back of her neck he keeps her close.

VICTOR
But you can't tell your Mom where
we are. Don't even talk to her
anymore.

Valencia nods looking down. Victor lifts her head up.

20.

VICTOR
After all that? How can you still
want to be around her?

Valencia fights back tears, shrugging, she lays on the
sleeping bag.

VALENCIA
Cause she's my mom. She's always
going to be my Mom.

Victor frowns placing a hand on her stomach. He lays down
next to her.

VICTOR
You're gonna be a good mom.

Valencia turns on her side so they can talk.

VALENCIA
I know you're gonna be a good
father. You really think I'll make
a good mom?

Victor nods rubbing her stomach. He looks her in the eyes.

VICTOR
Promise me one thing?

Valencia nods, laying her head back down.

VICTOR
Don't talk to your mother anymore.

Valencia doesn't breathe. She closes her eyes before
answering. Opening her eyes she looks at Victor.

VALENCIA
I promise.

Victor smiles and they kiss again.

Valencia turns to look at Victor.

VALENCIA
Promise me one thing?

Victor nods vigorously, outlining her lips with one finger.

VICTOR
What? Anything.

21.

VALENCIA
(In a serious tone)
Promise me you'll get a bed ASAP.

Victor laughs and nods.

VICTOR
Yeah I'm working on that. This
week.

Valencia sits up laughing.

VALENCIA
No seriously we needed a bed like
yesterday.

They laugh looking around the apartment content to be with
one another.

INT. APARTMENT- A FEW DAYS LATER EVENING - NIGHT

Valencia is seen in the new apartment. The apartment is
modestly furnished, and looks like people live there. Dinner
in the kitchen is already done. She looks extremely bored.
She checks her phone obsessively.

VALENCIA
Hey Trina, it's Valencia. I was
wondering if you guys still wanted
to go baby shopping or see the new
apartment. Or we can just chill.
It's whatever. Just let me know.

She hangs up her phone. Turning on the radio. Walking around
the apartment she dusts what's already been dusted. She
fluffs the pillows on the couch unnecessarily. She sweeps
and picks up nothing in the dustpan.

Sitting down suddenly she cries her shoulders heave up and
down. Holding herself crying she picks up her phone.

            VALENCIA
      (In a lowered
       voice)
Hey baby it's me. Again. Just
wondering when you're coming home.
I really miss you. I almost never
see you anymore. Call me back.
Never mind just come home soon. I
really need you.

22.

She hangs up and sits. Her phone rings excitedly she
answers.

VALENCIA
Hello?

EMMA
Hi honey.

Valencia isn't happy it's her mother but she is glad to talk
to someone.

VALENCIA
Oh it's just you.

EMMA
Now honey I know we've had a few
rough times between us, but I'm
still your mother and I love you.

Valencia says nothing but doesn't hang up.

EMMA
I brought some things for you and
the baby.

VALENCIA
I shouldn't even be talking to
you.

EMMA
I miss you, I know you miss me
too.

Valencia nods crying silently on the phone.

Emma senses something is wrong.

EMMA
You and Victor are ok, aren't you?

Valencia gives up trying not to cry. She breaks down.

EMMA
What is it honey?

VALENCIA
I love him so much. But I am so
lonely. My friends are too busy
for me, Victor works all the time
so we can live here, and I'm just
bored and lonely. All the time.

23.

She pauses and breathes in and out.

EMMA
I can come over and bring the baby
stuff.

VALENCIA
No I'll come over.

EMMA
Ok sweetie, come now.

VALENCIA
Ok, I'm coming now.

EMMA
I love you.

VALENCIA
I love you too.

Valencia gets her purse, and walks out of the apartment.

TAKES PLACE
ELSEWHERE AT THE
SAME TIME.

EXT. AN OLD MAN'S HOUSE- EVENING - NIGHT

Victor is seen with Roger, and three other young guys. They
are parked across the street watching houses inside a tinted
car.
A car leaves one house.

GUY ONE
Everybody's gone. No one else will
be back til late. That's the last
car on this block, she works the
night shift.

GUY TWO
(Nervous)
Are you sure Eddie?

Roger smacks Guy Two upside his head.

ROGER
I already told you no names as
soon as we get on the block.

Victor shakes his head amused.

24.

GUY TWO
(Mumbles)
Sorry Roger.

Roger smacks him again. They all laugh.

Victor looks at his phone, and notices several missed calls
and texts from Valencia. He doesn't check his phone, he
shoves it in his pocket.

VICTOR
So we ready or not?

They all get out of the car and walk across the street, to
the marked house. Roger breaks in easily without any noise,
inside they separate and look around for what they can take.

Guy three comes from the bedroom with an old scared white
man.

They all stop what they're doing. Guy three shoves the old
man down roughly in the middle of the floor. The old man
screams out in pain.

This disturbs Roger and Victor.

OLD MAN
Oh dear GOD please help me!

HE GROANS IN PAIN.

GUY THREE
Shut the fuck up!

He stands on the old man's back with one heavy footed boot.

VICTOR
All that ain't even necessary.

Guy three looks blankly at Victor and keeps his foot there.

Roger removes his mask and walks over to guy three, shoves
him.

ROGER
Get your damn foot off of him. He
ain't going nowhere.

Guy three does as he's told.

Guy one looks at Roger pleadingly. Roger punches him in the
stomach. The old man lays on the floor sobbing.

25.

            GUY TWO
      (He paces
       nervously.)
Shut up man!

Victor is nervous as well. He walks over to guy two, calming
him down.

            GUY ONE
      (Groaned over in
       pain.)
I'm sorry man! Nobody was supposed
to be here!

Roger is clearly upset. He gets in guy one's face, pointing
to the old man with his gun.

ROGER
But he is here!

HE SHOVES GUY ONE
TOWARDS THE DOOR.

ROGER
Get out you're not sharing in
this.

Guy one tries to stay inside holding the door.

GUY ONE
(pleadingly)
You can't kick me out of this! I
found this place. Please Roger I
need this.

Roger shakes his head and forces him out.

ROGER
You fucked up big time. You're
paying for this one.

He pats the side of guy one's face patronizingly.

ROGER
Maybe if you're a good look out
I'll let you share in a little.
Now get in the car.

He shuts the door. Guy three laughs he notices the old man
trying to crawl away and starts kicking him in the ribs
several times, the old man cries out in pain. Begging for
his life guy three keeps assaulting him. He hits him on his
shoulder blades with the gun repeatedly.

26.

VICTOR
That's enough man! He's old, he
ain't going nowhere.

Guy three doesn't stop. Roger indicates for guy two to close
the shades and continue stashing what he can find.

Victor shoves guy three off the old man, guy three turns his
gun on Victor. Victor draws his.

Roger gets in between both the guns.

ROGER
That's enough from the both of
you. I'm not about to have my shit
fall apart.

Guy three puts his gun down so does Victor. They eye one
another.

GUY THREE
I think your boy here has a
problem.

Victor begins to walk over to guy three. Guy three stands
tall and ready. Roger cuts in between them again. He points
to guy three.

ROGER
Get in there!

HE POINTS TO THE
BEDROOM.

Guy three looks down at the old man.

GUY THREE
Who's gonna watch him?

Roger grabs guy three roughly by the shirt.

            ROGER
      (starts low then
       gets louder)
What I say don't matter no more? I
said get in there!

Guy three goes but he kicks the old man again before
leaving.

Victor steps to him again, Roger holds Victor back.

27.

OLD MAN
(Clearly in pain)
I need a doctor please! I haven't
seen your faces, I don't know your
names I won't tell anybody
anything. Just get me a doctor
please!

VICTOR
(In a hushed voice)
Hey man he needs a doctor. You
heard him.

Roger shakes his head. He gets guy two's attention, and they
put the old man on his couch blindfolding him.

Victor is in distress at the scene. The old man's place is
trashed because of what they've done.

Roger points his gun at the old man's temple.

ROGER
Who's coming back here today?

Old man takes painful deep breaths. He's bleeding, and he's
wet with sweat and blood. He tries to talk but winces in
pain instead.

            OLD MAN
      (He tries again
       and winces with
       every word.)
No one's coming today. My children
and grandchildren come on the
weekends.

Victor looks at the old man, and walks over to Roger. Guy
two continues taking items.

VICTOR
This ain't right. He needs a
doctor.

Guy three comes out with a bag full. They stare at one
another. Victor keeps talking to Roger, but lowers his
voice.

VICTOR
You said you wanted me in this,
because I'm smart and you respect
me. I wanted this cause I need the
money, and I thought no one would
get hurt.

28.

Roger tries to cut in. Victor cuts him off.

VICTOR
Just take my share, I don't want
it. I'll work eight jobs if I have
to, but I ain't never doing this
again.

He hands his gun to Roger. Roger looks down at it without
reaching for it.

VICTOR
Here man takes it. I won't need
this anymore. I'm done.

Roger stares coolly at Victor in the eye. But Victor doesn't
back down from his decision. Finally Roger nods, and takes
the gun.

ROGER
Nobody has to tell me to take more
money more than once. I remember
from back in the day when we was
way little you always wanted to do
the right thing. You want out?
That's fine by me. I know you
ain't gonna run your mouth about
this shit.

Victor nods, they shake hands.

VICTOR
Just do me one favor, get the old
man help.

Roger looks at Victor and turns away. Victor leaves the
house.

EXT. OUTSIDE FROM A DISTANCE 10 MINUTES LATER - NIGHT

Victor is seen around the corner watching the house and car.
The young men emerge from the house, with their stash. When
the car goes around the corner Victor rushes back to the
house.

Victor uses his shoulder to force open the door.

The old man screams. He's tied up and blindfolded.

29.

OLD MAN
(Scared)
There's nothing left someone took
it!

Victor unties the old man and removes the bandana from his
eyes.

VICTOR
I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm
trying to get you some help.

OLD MAN
You were the one trying to help
me, I recognize your voice.

Victor hesitates, and then nods, and continues to untie him
from the chair.

OLD MAN
But your friend the leader let me
call 911 on my house phone.

Victor pauses, bemused.

VICTOR
He did?

The old man nods, and groans in pain.

OLD MAN
The paramedics and police will be
here soon you'd better leave.

Victor finally frees the old man from the chair and ropes.
The old man rubs his wrists.

VICTOR
You sure? I can tell them I found
you, and waited or something�

The old man slowly shakes his head no.

OLD MAN
No, no. I'll be all right son. You
tried to do the right thing and
for that I don't want what they
did to be entirely all on you. So
hurry up and get away. Use the
back door.

Sirens are heard in the distance. Victor stalls by the door.
The old man uses his hands to shoo him away.

30.

VICTOR
I'm sorry.

He turns and leaves. The approaching sirens are louder and
louder. Victor runs through the back alleys.

EXT. OUTSIDE STREET HALF HOUR LATER - NIGHT

Victor finally feels comfortable enough to let his guard
down he checks his phone.

VICTOR
Valencia?

He has a perplexed look on his face from the amount of times
she called and texted him.

Victor's demeanor changes as he walks around the block. He
gets more and more sorrowful as her messages get more and
more desperate pleading for him to come home.

One particular message freezes him in his tracks. The
audience hears "this is a message from the Kings County
Hospital. Your loved one Valencia Pierre has requested you
receive this message. For more information please call-"

Victor hangs up and flags down a taxi. A cab slows he gets
in.

Before the taxi driver can ask his destination Victor
speaks.

VICTOR
Kings County Hospital!

As the cab drives off, Victor tries Valencia's cell.

            VICTOR
      (Out of breath,
       panicked)
Valencia it's me I got a message
from the hospital talking about
you, what's going on? Anyways I'm
on my way there now, call me if
you can. I love you.

The cab driver looks back at Victor through the rearview
mirror with a look of concern. Victor is distracted and
doesn't notice.

31.

VICTOR
Emma I got a call from the
hospital about Valencia and if you
did anything to cause any of this.
I swear to God�

Victor is too overcome with emotion to finish he hangs up
the phone. Victor has his head down in his hands, shaking
his head. Victor speaks incoherently.

VICTOR
Please God, just please God�

The taxi stops, Victor tries to pay the driver. He refuses
his money. Victor is stunned.

CAB DRIVER
I pray that everything works out
for you and your family.

Victor nods touched. His second miracle of the day by a
stranger.

VICTOR
Thank you. I appreciate it.

The cab driver nods and drives off.

INT. HOSPITAL MINUTES LATER - NIGHT

At the nurses' station Victor ask for Valencia they tell him
her room number.

Valencia is lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Victor
walks in, when she sees him she turns her back on him,
facing the window.

Victor takes his shoes off, and gets in the hospital bed
with her, and wraps his arms around her.

They both try to talk at the same time.

VICTOR
You go 'head.

Valencia doesn't say anything. So Victor begins to talk
instead.

VICTOR
I couldn't call you back earlier
because I was busy.

32.

This is a sore spot for Valencia.

            VALENCIA
      (She answers him
       bitterly.)
You've been busy a lot lately.

VICTOR
I know. I just wanted to make
money for us, so I was willing to
do anything. I was robbing homes
with Roger.

Valencia turns to look at him. She's surprised that he would
do something like that. Victor seeing her look of
disappointment continues.

VICTOR
I feel like a lot of what happened
was my fault.

Valencia turns over to face him.

VALENCIA
It wasn't your fault. You were
right I should never have spoken
to my mom again. I was so stupid
to think that she actually missed
me. I was so lonely without you,
or any of my friends. She was the
only person who wanted me around.

Victor tries to speak, but Valencia continues.

VALENCIA
I knew she was gone when I was
sitting on the floor bleeding. She
wasn't even sorry when the
ambulance and police came.

Victor has a pained look on his face.

VICTOR
She?

Valencia nods.

VALENCIA
I wanted to tell you. There never
seemed to be a good enough time to
tell you.

33.

Victor shifts from his side to his back looking up at the
ceiling trying not to cry.

VALENCIA
I am so sorry Victor.

Valencia cries so does Victor.

VICTOR
I'm sorry to baby. I shouldn't
have been there today. I was
desperate for us to be ok.

Valencia puts her head on his chest.

VALENCIA
I should have never been there
today either.

VICTOR
I wish I could do these last
couple of days differently.

VALENCIA
We can't. The only thing we can do
is be better.

Victor and Valencia hold one another. They hold one another
in the promise to be better from now on.

FADE OUT.

Feedback

From Hezikiah K. Anderson	Date 8/25/2010
This is an interesting idea for a story. I think the dialog between the actors can be tightened up a little bit more. The story follows a pretty tight timeline but the location and time period are unclear. Overall it seems to be a nice story just needs to be fine tuned.

From cristina	Date 8/24/2010
Verry good, I like it. I think is a good construction of words.

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