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Boat Yard
by David Nelson (d.nelson.10@hotmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
After getting busted with the judge’s nymphomaniac daughter, three time loser Joey Deaver gets sentenced to work release in steamy Key West Florida.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


YVONNE REYNOLDS, 50's, buxom, stuffed into a short skirt and
tight blouse, pushes her way into the large open lobby.

Scanning the busy room, she stops to catch a look at herself
reflected in a glass display filled with the BUSTS of former
court justices.

After loosening a blouse button and fluffing her breasts,
she continues on, searching for her client.
Entering the lobby from the men's room DOOR, JOEY DEAVER,
20, unruly blond hair, dark brown eyes, tries to tuck in his
sleeveless plaid shirt. With a face that projects a world
weary innocence, Joey scans the room for his probation

Spotting Yvonne, Joey gives a slight wave and walks over.

Yvonne smiles back, taking in his tan muscular ARMS, tight
ASS and crooked GRIN.

Meeting in the middle of the hall, Yvonne gives Joey a
tentative hug, almost like a long lost lover. Joey awkwardly
hugs her back.
Thanks for meeting me here, Joey.
I thought we could get a little
privacy away from my office.
No problem, Ms. Reynolds.
Yvonne stares into Joey's eyes, crowding him.
I keep telling you to call me
Yvonne, Joey, remember?
Sorry ma'am...uh...Yvonne.
Joey looks around.
So, uh, where should we go, for
our, you know, last meeting.


      (seductive smile)
Follow me. I reserved a room that
should provide complete privacy.
No reason to broadcast you're
meeting with your probation
officer, right?
Yvonne takes Joey's arm and starts to lead him towards the
grand stairway. At the same time, several police officers
shove an tattoo covered unruly young women, MIA WESTON,
through the front doors into the hall.
I told you to keep your fucking
hooks off my tits, you son of a
Mia kicks the male COP squarely in the crotch, dropping him
to the floor. Two female COPS try to contain Mia by the
You bull fucking dikes better back
off too if you know what's good
for you!
Yvonne and Joey stop their retreat to watch the commotion
along with everyone else. Mia continues to struggle as the
cops pull her towards the stairs and Joey.
I'm gonna strangle you two cows
with your own iron plated bra's,
you fat ass pigs! I'm gonna...
      (spots Joey)
Yo yo, Joey D, what up man?
Mia brings the two cops to a halt next to Joey and a
startled Yvonne.
Last meeting with my P.O, Mia.
Mia gives Yvonne the stink eye.
P.O. huh? Looks like a ten dollar
ass ride to me.


The cops again start dragging her up the stairs.
Give me a call, Joey D. We can do
it again like old times!
The cops reach the top of the stairs and are gone. Joey
looks back to a shocked Yvonne.
Sorry about that. Should we go?
Yvonne softens and again leads Joey up the stairs, snuggling
on his arm.
DEWEY DINKERS, early 30's, thin, queen gay, busies himself
around the office, moving boxes, opening the blinds, dusting

Standing behind a large desk, arms folded, scowling,
CLARENCE WASHINGTON JR, mid 50's, very black, looks on.
You about done there, boy?
Stewey opens a box and starts setting items on the judges
desk. The judge looks down Stewey's back, spotting his
leopard skin underwear creeping out of his white pants. He
Just let me set up a couple more
things, want to make it as homey
as possibly for your first day,
Stewey pulls out a framed PICTURE of the scowling judge, a
smiling round black wife and a beautiful young white young
lady. Stewey pauses, glances at the judge, then places the
frame on the desk.
Well, I think that should do it.
Uh huh.
Stewey hustles over to the open door as a WORKMAN arrives
and puts a "Judge Clarence Washington Jr." name plate on
office wall.


OK, well, come see me after you
get settled...
The judge walks over and starts to slam the door on Stewey.
...I'll show you around!
Joey sits, hands folded, at a small table in the middle of
an equally small room. A worn couch rests against the far
wall and a window looks out over the street.

Yvonne walks around the room, stopping at the obscured glass
door. Pausing, she quietly turns the DEADBOLT, then takes a
seat on the couch.
Would you mind joining me on the
couch, Joey. Lugging those case
files all day really takes a toll
on my back.
Oh, sure.
Joey moves over onto the couch, sitting at the far end from
Yvonne. She smiles, picks up a file between them and slides
over next to Joey.
So, lets see here.
Yvonne opens the file, easing a little closer.
Second time on probation, second
arrest for...
      (husky voice)
... sexual misconduct. Both times,
felonies knocked back to
misdemeanors when the ALLEGED
female victims refused to testify.
They were really only friends.
That's always been my problem. I
can't say no, can't walk away.
Wish I was, I don't know,


                       JOEY (cont'd)
stronger, you know?
Yvonne eats Joey up with her eyes, then recovers and looks
back to the file.
So anyway, each police report also
claims indecent exposure when you
were found. uh, on top, uh,
mounted, on the girls?. One in the
broom closet at a Hooters.
Joey, shirt off, hurries to unbuckle his pants, as a buxom
Hooters girl rips off her tight t-shirt. Pants and shorts at
his ankles, Joey lifts the now naked girl off the floor and
slams her back against a broom closet wall. As her groans
get louder, a MANAGER throws open the door, busting Joey in
mid stroke.
She told me she needed help
serving breasts and thighs.
And the other...
Joey, taking up the back row of a half filled church,
listens to the PRIEST drone on. A curvy ALTER GIRL walks by,
giving him a slight nod as she continues into a

Joey watches her as she pauses at the door and signals him
to follow her inside. After a quick look around, he jumps up
and goes over.

As the PRIEST finishes a pray with a hearty, "May God Save
Us Sinners." Heavy muted breathing fills the quiet. The
priest takes notice of the rocking confessional and marches

Pulling the door open, the priests eyes go wide as he finds
the alter girl, robe open, straddled on a shirtless Joey.


                       YVONNE (os)
      (breathing heavy)
...was my daughter in the
vestibule of Our Lady of the
Sacred Virgin after midnight mass.
You told me religion might
straighten me out.
      (under her breath)
God, let me straighten you out.
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing. Anyway, you have now
completed your probation without
incident. I see you have kept a
steady job over the last six
Johnson's Wrecking and Salvage.
I've just been promoted to
tranmissions and rear ends.
Yvonne can't control her lust any more. She starts fingering
Joey's shirt buttons, messing with his hair. Joey's not sure
what to do.
That's fantastic, Joey. I'm very
impressed with your progress.
Uh, thanks. So, uh, can I go then.
I have that date you set me up
with tonight and I would like to
clean up. I think a nice girl is
just what I need to help me keep
on the right road, you know?
Yvonne starts rubbing her thighs and slowly pulling up her
Sure, Joey, there's just one more
thing I need to know, about your
promotion to rear ends.


Suddenly, Yvonne pulls her skirt all the way up and
straddles Joey. As his eyes go wide, she rips her shirt open
and kisses him hard on the mouth.
Stewey leads Judge Washington through a large open room
filled with cubicles. giving him the tour.
As you can see, we run a very
tight ship here. Everyone works as
a team.
Um hum.
Stewey continues to lead the judge past several conference
room doors. So far the judge is not impressed.
And these are the private
conference rooms, very
comfortable. Good for those
meetings away from prying eyes.
As they continue past the doors, MOANS and GROANS fill the
air. The judge stops short next to a closed door. Stewey
notices and stops too.
Must be the air conditioner. Been
acting up lately.
On cue, the distinct form of a naked woman SLAMS into the
frosted glass conference room door, breasts smashed against
the glass. The GROANS coming faster.
      (watching the door)
Air conditioning, uh huh.
The judge continues on past the embarrassed Stewey.
Joey sighs in disgust as He checks out his disaster hairdo
in his closet mirror. After a beat, he grabs a Flo-Bee and
starts suck cutting his doo.

Half way through his styling, BLANCH DEAVER, 80 plus,


appears in Joey's doorway, a cigarette dangling from her
What the hell you doin', Joey?
Joeys stops cutting, half done.
Prettying up for my date tonight,
Any little thing you go with out
should like yous just the way yous
are, Joey.
Joey abandons the Flo-Bee and runs an old electric razor
over his already clean-shaven face.
Yeah, I know, but this gal is
suppose to be high class, not from
the north end. Fancy school, big
house, the works.
Blanch walks up and starts with the Flo-Bee again on Joey's
Just don't forget who you are,
young man. You're my Joey, and if
this high class tramp...
...I'm just saying, if this
young...woman... doesn't see how
wonderful you are...
Blanch finishes with the Flo-Bee and slicks Joeys hair up
with some spit. He looks fabulous.
I know, I know, she ain't worth
spending no time about.
Blanch goes to the closet and brings back a v-neck black
t-shirt. Joey strips off his plaid shirt and slips on the


That's right.
      (admires the
       striking Joey)
You got the Deaver stink on you,
just like your father.
Blanch glances over to a frame PHOTOGRAPH of a cheesy
grinning man. The picture is a mug shot.
The ladies be too easy on you.
Joey turns and kisses Blanch on the forehead.
I'll be good, Nana, don't worry,
everything is going my way.
Joey drops the top on a beautiful 1963 Ford Thunderbird as
he passes through a busy business district. The license
plate reads "Nana 1."

Packs of shopping girls yell out to Joey to join them. He
waves and continues on, consulting a street MAP.
Joey slows as he passed under a gabled entrance for "South
Vista Estates." Several older white WOMEN from various
houses peek through their blinds at the newcomer to their

Checking house numbers, Joey spots "8469" and pulls into a
long brick driveway fronting a huge stately mansion.
Reaching the front portico, Joey parks, in awe of the
massive house.

After a quick mirror check of his flo-bee cut, he gets out
of the car and rings the door bell.
CLAIR WASHINGTON, 19, tall, long blond hair, ample chest,
races down a grand stairway. After a quick sweater
adjustment and hair and lip stick check in the entry mirror,
she slowly opens the front door to greet Joey.


Joey, Joey Deaver?
Claire flashes a wide smile.
Come on in. I just need to grab my
Claire backs up towards a hall closet, smile still fixed on
her face. Joey enters, taking in the massive entry hall.
You sure have a big house.
While Claire fumbles around in the closet for her coat, Joey
checks out a family photo on a side table. It's the same
picture Judge Washington had on his desk. Unknown to Joey,
Claire is Judge Washington's white daughter.

Clair finally stumbles out of the huge closet, mussed, and
quickly walks over to Joey. Joey points at the picture.
Is that your family?
Good old Mom and Dad.
Claire takes Joey's arm and leads him back towards the front
Come on, handsome. Let's get out
of here before they get home.
Joey leads Claire to the passenger door, opening it for her.
She continues to smile and stare at Joey. As she sits down,
she gives her knee high skirt a little extra lift, exposing
her milky white thighs. Joey flashes a nervous smile back
and closes the door.

As he hustles over to his door, several of the front doors
across the street swing open. Women in a variety of sexy
outfits come out, pushing garbage cans, wielding weed
eaters, setting pies on fences, all trying to get Joey's


Claire notices the women, frowns, then slides over and
snuggles next to Joey after he gets in.

As he pulls the car down the drive and out onto the street,
two EYES blink in the shadows from a barely discernible
black face. Joeys races away as the neighbor ladies run to
the curb to wave.
Joey cruises through a busy business district while Claire
messes with the radio, finally settling on a seductive slow
So you do Italian?
Are you Italian?
No, ITALIAN, the food. Thought we
could grab some noodles, you know,
to start things off.
Oh, of course. Italian sounds
great. I'm all yours, whatever you
want to do.
Claire takes Joeys right arm and lifts it over her shoulders
as she snuggles even closer. Joey gives her an uncomfortable
grin and races on down the street.
Joey enjoys a beer while Claire seductively strokes her
flute of champagne. A buxom waitress drops by and places a
plate of spaghetti in front of Joey and a huge Italian
sausage in front of Claire.

She immediately starts slowly moving the large meat stick in
and out of her mouth. Joey watches in awe.
With Joey looking on in amazement, Claire shoves half an
eclair in her mouth, slowly chewing as cream filling oozes
out of the end.


You sure enjoy eating.
      (mouth full)
I have a hunger that's hard to
So what do you want to do next?
Claire flashes a whip cream filled smile at Joey.
Joey again drives while Claire pumps up her cleavage.
You sure you want to see where I
work? It's really not that
I think where a man works says a
lot about the man, know what I
Uh, not really.
Claire giggles.
Joey pulls up to a large gate. A posted sign reads "No
Trespassing, Killer Dogs on Patrol." Joey hits a remote
control UNIT on his visor and the gate slides open.

With the gate closing after he enters, a black SEDAN, creeps
out from the shadows at the end of the fence line. After the
GATE slams shut, the SEDAN flashes its headlines twice then
retreats back into the gloom.
Joeys slowly drives through the acres of wrecked cars in
neat rows. Dimly lit in the middle of the yard is an aging
Airstream trailer. Joeys brings the car to a stop next to
the metal structure.


This is where our night watchman
stays, with the dogs.
Is he here tonight?
He had to take the dogs up to our
other lot to guard some new cars
that came in.
Claire jumps out of the car and tries the trailer door.
Finding it unlocked she steps inside.
I don't think Butch likes people
in his trailer!
No response from Claire.
Claire? Are you coming back out?
With no answer from Claire, Joey gets out of the car and
heads over to the trailer door, peeking inside the darkened
Are you in here? We better get
going now.
Joey climbs the two steps into the trailer. While he pauses
to let his eyes adjust, Claire turns on a floor lamp,
revealing several huge marijuana plants and walls covered in
magazine photos of nude women.

Eyeing Joey, Claire grins while fingering several large
studded dog COLLARS hanging over a debris covered twin bed.
A look of panic flashes across Joey's face.
Like I said, getting up close with
a man's job really helps a girl
learn more about the man, know
what I mean?


Several magazine PHOTOS fall off the wall as the small
HEADBOARD slams into the wall over and over. The rusty old
bed frame SQUEAKS in rhythm with Claire as she moves up and
down, straddled on Joey.

Throwing her hair back as she arches her back, Claire spits
the leash out of her mouth attached to the large studded dog
collar surrounding her neck.

Joey blindly tries to grab the handle as Claire leans back
down, smothering him in her bare breasts.
Make me your bitch, make me your
Grasping for air, Joey pushes her back up.
Claire, please, I can't breath!
Before Joey can get out another word, Claire grabs a muzzle
off the wall and ram into into Joey's mouth, then leans in
and holds it there with her own mouth.
We're just getting started, you
hung dog, you.
While GRUNTS and GROANS spill out into the night, several
black uniformed SWAT team members silently surround the

Standing back next to a black Suburban, Judge Washington,
whispers to a POLICE CAPTAIN. With everyone in place, the
judge nods his HEAD and the CAPTAIN gives the Go signal with
his HAND.

Two SWAT members approach the door with a battering ram.
With Joey now laying on his stomach, Claire cinches a dog
harness tight on his back, they rolls him back over.
Ready for your training?


A slight NOISE from outside causes both Claire and Joey to
look towards the DOOR. Suddenly, a flash bang grenade
smashes through a window.
Oh shit, my Dad's here!
      (through his
Your Dad?
Claire quickly grabs Joey and rolls off the bed. Joey lands
squarely on top of her. A split second later the grenade
explodes in a flash of light and the SWAT team storms in.
With guns drawn, the men surround them.
Freeze, asshole, don't move your
With Joey harnessed and muzzled, the SWAT team parts and
Judge Washington steps forward, glaring down at Joey
crushing his daughter.
Uh huh!
SANDRA MYERS, late 20's, long black hair, beautiful, reviews
Joey's FILE, at a metal table in the middle of the room. The
heavy door swings open and a jail guard leads Joey in. After
removing the cuffs, the guard leaves and Joey takes a seat.
Hello, Joey, I'm Sandra Myers,
I've been appointed by the court
to represent you.
Ma'am, I don't really know why I'm
here? I really don't.
According to this filing sheet,
you are being charged with
assault, attempted rape,
trespassing, destruction of
property, soliciting a minor for
immoral purposes, conspiracy to
commit bestiality, drug possession
with intent to distribute and


                       SANDRA (cont'd)
drunk driving after the fact.
And that doesn't even include your
probation violation and car
Joey sits, stunned.
Look, Joey, the word in the halls
is you were getting funky with the
new judge's daughter.
Her Dad is a judge? Here?
And it appears he's gotten the
prosecutor to throw the book at
you. I've never even seen some of
these charges before.
      (slouches in his
What I am going to do?
Sandra gazes at Joey, compassion in her eyes, then takes his
hand in hers.
I'm so sorry, Joey, I know from
reading your file how hard you
have been trying to turn your life
As Joey stares back into Sandra's eyes, an office ASSISTANT
comes in and hands Sandra a note. After noticing the hand
holding, the assistance quickly leaves. Reading the note, a
big smile breaks out on Sandra's face..
What is it?


Judge Washington, eyes bulging, ready to explode, glares up
at Stewey from behind his desk.
What the fuck are you telling me,
The judge stands up from his chair and slowly makes his way
around the desk. Stewey backs away.
Claire won't testify against him,
The judge keeps coming, Stewey keeps backing.
He attacked her! Made my baby do
      (barely contains
       his rage)
...not human.
The judge backs Stewey against the wall, their faces inches
So what the hell can we still get
this fucker on, Stewey? What are
my choices?
Joey and Sandra sit at the defendants table near the judge's
bench. A few senior citizens, killing time, lounge in the

JIM DICKERS, late 60's, burned out deputy prosecutor, slumps
at the prosecutor's table. Stewey enters from a side door
and calls the court to order. Everyone stands as Judge
Washington storms in.
Everyone sits. The judge shuffles some papers on his desk,
then glares at Dickers.


      (venom in his
I understand a plea has been
agreed to, Mr Dickers?
      (slowly stands)
Uh, yes Judge. Given the lack of
cooperation from a key witness...
Dickers stares at his table, avoiding the Judge's growing
...the prosecutor's office has
amended the charges to simple
assault. The defendant has agreed
to plead no contest.
No contest!
Judge, without a victim, this is
the best we can do.
Veins bulge on the Judge's forehead.
So, uh, anyway, the defendant has
pled to the assault charge and
will agree with any punishment the
court dictates.
A slight grin cracks the Judge's stern face, just for a
While Joey squirms, Stewey quickly makes his way up to the
Judge and whispers in his ear. The Judge scowls.
Sentencing in 5 minutes!
The Judge bolts for his door.
All rise!


Everyone rises as the Judge disappears through his door.
Stewey scurries after him.
Stewey leans against the closed door while the Judge wears a
path in the carpet.
You've got to be fucking kidding
The jail is overflowing.
He attacked my daughter! My baby,
my angel.
Simple assaults aren't going to
county lockup.
The Judge grabs a baseball bat leaning in the corner and
snaps it in half. Stewey slowly reaches for the door knob.
So what the hell are my God damn
options, Stewey? What the fuck can
I pin on this punk?
Joey and Sandra sit thigh to thigh on the same couch Joey
shared with Yvonne. Sandra bits her lip as Joey takes her
Do I have to go to Florida? That's
like, far away from Phillie, isn't
It's a diversion program, Joey.
Kind of like work release, but
without actually having to spend
any time in jail.
Joey's face sinks at the thought of moving away. Sandra puts
her hand on top of his.


Oh, honey, it's only for a year.
If you keep clean, you'll be right
back here, free as a bird.
After a beat, Joey looks up into Sandra's puppy dog eyes.
Thank you for everything, Ms
Myers. I mean it. I know you gave
me your all to keep me out of the
slammer. I won't let you down, no
matter how tough it gets.
Sandra, breathing heavy, starts rubbing Joey's leg with all
their hands.
Sandra moves closer to Joey.
I want to give you my all.
Sandra leaps on top of Joey, ripping his shirt off. As she
kisses him, he tears her blouse open, exposing her fabulous
Stewey struggles to keep up with Judge Washington as he
storms through the office.
I don't think I can do that,
You can and you will, understand?
I have a job here!
I'll need weekly updates...and


But it's out of state!
The Judge stops, glares at Stewey, then continues on. Stewey
stands in place.
I guess I'll do the best I can.
As the Judge passes the clouded conference room door,
Sandra's naked body slams against glass. The Judge stops,
fumes and moves on.
Joey comes out the front door, slinging a large duffel bag.
Blanch follows, reading from some paperwork. They both stop
at her car.
      (upset, near tears)
It says here you have to work 16
hours a day, 6 days a week, and
there's no pay!
It's not any more time than I was
puttin' in at the wrecking yard.
It's a labor camp! Worse than WW
It says even when you finish your
stretch, there's another hearing
to see if you met all the
conditions of your program.
Joey drops the duffel in the car and takes Blanch's
It's all part of the deal, Nana.
Don't worry, you'll get along.
Blanch breaks down in Joey's arms.


Come on now, Nana. Would you
rather me be some hairy guys butt
bitch down at the jail?
You ain't never gonna be no man's
bitch, Joey.
Then I have to do this. Hell, it's
Florida. Sunshine, warm water, the
works. It will be like a vacation!
Joey kisses Blanch on top of her head, then gets in the car.
I'll call you, Nana, so you won't
worry, OK?
You better, or I'll come on down
there and beat your ass.
They both chuckle, then Joey starts the car and pulls away.
Blanch runs after him, waiving goodbye with her tissue.
-Joey waves at a group of female joggers, then turns onto
the entrance for I-95 South. The ladies try to chase him up
the on ramp.
-Joey pulls into the parking lot for the Baltimore Ravens
stadium. The Raven's cheerleaders start washing his car as
part of a fundraiser.

-Joey powers down a huge Hoagie as he sits parked near the
White House. A buxom uniformed Secret Service officer taps
him on the shoulder. Their eyes meet, then the officer
smiles and pulls out her handcuffs.

-Joey takes the exit off I-95 for Richmond Beach. He pulls
up to a motel fronted by a swimming pool full of spring
breakers. The next morning, he sneaks out of his room
wearing a Virginia Tech tee-shirt. Three naked co-ed's
sprawl on the bed.

-Joey pushes the gas PETAL down as he speeds past a huge
SIGN for Littlerock, Arkansas, home of the Clintons.


-Joey stops for a church bake sale at "Our Everlasting
Virgin House of Worship of Savannah." Several beautiful
Southern bells surround him hawking baked goods.

-Joey speeds by a sign for "Miami, Gateway to the Florida
Dozens of fishing boats line the docks fronting the
ram-shackled "Uncle Ted's" bar and restaurant. At the far
end of the dock, a large black YACHT, "Candy High", sits at
anchor. The decks deserted.

Joey pulls off the highway fronting the restaurant. After a
long stretch and ass scratch, he wanders into the empty bar
and takes a seat. DOC MASTERS, early 70's, grizzled, tosses
a coaster down in front of him.
What'll it be, Northerner?
PBR, and keep 'em coming.
Doc nods his approval and starts pulling a draft.
A brilliant SUNSET fills the sky over the water. MUSIC
spills from an old JUKEBOX as the crowded bar is in full

Joey sits with his back to the bar checking out the scene.
Several college boys, including SKIP BUFFMAN, 20, blond,
cheesy, are getting loud at a table in front of him.
I'm telling you, that smelly bitch
has seen more pole than a fireman.
The boys chuckle and slam their shots of tequila.
                       COLLEGE GUY 2
So you decided who gets the
pleasure of your magic wand


                       COLLEGE GUY 3
Yeah, donkey dick, who's riding
the burrough. Whose gonna bray?
Both guys make loud donkey noises as their friend shakes his
You guys are shameless. Besides,
I'm still waiting...
A group of sexy girls comes in the entrance, looking for a
spot to sit.
      (notices the girls)
...for just the right victim.
While the girls wait for a table, Joey nods towards his
empty glass. The bartender nods back and places another on
the counter. Joey stands up.
Gotta shake the dew off my lily,
save my spot, will ya?
The bartender nods his head, yes, and Joey heads out towards
the marina side of the open air bar.

At the same time, the group of girls spot an open table and
move towards it. Skip stands to follow them, when he spots
MARIA SANCHEZ, 20, Hispanic, drop dead gorgeous, standing at
the entrance.

Momentarily stunned, he changes course and angles towards
Joey whistles as he splashes a waterfall of pee into the
metal trough urinal. NOISE from the bar carries into the
Maria moves over to the "To Go" window and picks up a bag of
food. As she heads out onto the walkway toward the docks,
Skip cuts her off.
Looks like you're hungry?


Maria shares a half smile and tries to move past him. Skip
blocks her path, leaning against the wall next to the men's
I think you're the winner tonight.
Joey messes with his hair in the mirror. VOICES cause him to
pause and look at the DOOR.
                       MARIA (os)
Let go of my arm.
                       SKIP (os)
I don't think so. I think we need
to take a walk in the moonlight,
Joey, concerned, takes a couple steps towards the door.
Leave me alone!
Joey throws the door open and quickly walks out onto the
After leaving the restroom, Joey finds Skip with a tight
grip on Maria's arm. Seeing Joey, Skip wraps his arm around
her waist and pulls her backwards, until he is against a
large post.
Keep moving, Gomer. Me and the
Mrs. are just having a little
discussion about dinner.
Joey catches Maria's terrified expression, then moves his
gaze back to Skip.
That so?
Look here, friend, you don't want
to mess with me. That would be
your last mistake.


Several feet away, Skip's buddies show up. Skip notices his
friends, then smirks back at Joey.
Looks like you'll be going. You
have a nice evening now.
Before Skip can move a muscle, Joey is on him, hand at
Skip's throat.
I don't think so, Skip.
How did you know my name?
Joey chuckles as he lifts Skip off the ground by his neck.
The friends start to make a move. Maria slips away and runs
down the dock toward the black yacht.
You're kidding, that's actually
your name.
      (sees the friends)
You boys should just walk away if
you know what's good for you.
      (red face)
Get him, dammit!
The other two college guys rush Joey. With blinding speed,
Joey launches Skip up and over the dock railing, sending him
splashing into the water below.

A split second later, Joey grabs the other boys and smashes
their heads together, knocking them out cold. After
straightening his shirt and hair, he looks down at the two
buffoons, then pushes them under the railing to the water

With his job complete, Joey looks out to the yacht, catching
a glimpse of Maria as she runs up the gangplank. After a
quick check that the college boys haven't drowned, Joey
starts down the dock towards the yacht.
A huge black suited muscle man opens the door for Joey into
the yachts main salon. With a nod from Maria, the man
gestures for Joey to enter the room, then departs.


From across the room, Maria, sitting on a sofa, nods for
Joey to approach. After taking in the opulent surrounds,
Joey covers the space to her.

Standing over her, she slowly stands, her face inches from
his. Tears cover her light brown cheeks. After an awkward
moment, Joey wipes the tears from her face. She snuggles his
hand, then puts her hand to his face.

With his eyes searching hers, Joey moves in for a tentative
kiss. She kisses him back, softly at first, then with

Breaking away from his grasp, she takes his hand again and
leads him to the adjoining bedroom salon. Once inside, Joey
slowly closes the bedroom door behind them.
With the car's top down, Joey suppresses a grin as he
fingers a small printed card with "Candy High-Caracas
Venezuela" embossed on the front. Hand written underneath,
"Maria Sanchez" and a phone number.

As he glances between road and card, a wide smile replaces
the grin. He takes in the brilliant blue expanse of the
Florida Keys.
With his huge Harley Davidson MOTORCYCLE parked on a narrow
strip of elevated highway, BOYLE LARGEHANDS, grimaces.
Boyle, late 50's, enormous gut straining against his leather
jacket, reluctantly grabs the speeding TICKET from an
equally rotund FSP officer.
Let's try to keep under a hundred
next time, shall we, Mr.
Fuck you, you asshole cock sucker.
The trooper smirks as he returns to his patrol car.
You have yourself a nice day now.


Laughing,the trooper jumps in his car and unleashes a shower
of gravel as he speeds away.

Furious, Boyle makes a half hearted attempt to run after
him. After a few steps, he stops, winded and bends over to
catch his breath.

As he looks out over the water, he spots a booze cruise
BOAT, full of drunk lovelies. With renewed vigor, he struts
over to the highway railing to get a better look.
Hey honeys! Hey! Check this out!
With some of the bikini clad girls now looking, Boyle opens
his jacket and starts seductively rubbing his hair chest and
over-sized stomach. The girls SQUEAL and shout for more.
Oh, I've got more, MUCH MORE,
With the entire boat now looking on, Boyle drops his pants
and gyrates in rhythm to the boat music. The girls go crazy.
As Joey takes in the beautiful water vistas, the highway
elevates and takes a bend to the left. Just before driving
into the right railing, Joey looks up.

He spots the railing and Boyle's wide naked ass. Quickly
jerking the car back left, he fishtails, striking Boyle's
motorcycle with his rear bumper. In slow motion, the
motorcycle launches up and over the railing.

Eyes wide, Boyle SCREAMS and tries to run over to where the
bike went over. Unfortunately, with his leather pants around
his ankles, he crashes flat on his face.

After correcting his slide, Joey continues down the highway.
Joey slows as he passes a "Welcome to Key West" marker.
Taking the next exit, he drive past several small marinas.
Up ahead, Joey spots a massive blazing neon SIGN for "Boyles
Yacht World." He pulls up to a modern showroom. The parking
lot and building empty.


Stifling a yawn, he snuggles into his car seat and falls
Loud snores carry out over the parking lot from Joey's open
mouth. Cars pull in off the main street and park all around

A BUS eases to the curb behind Joey, disgorging TYRONE and
TITUS JOHNSON. The Johnson boys, both 21, black and big,
shove each other as they climb off the bus.
You dumb-ass , back water, cock
licking, mother fucking dick head.
Don't ever touch my shit again.
Titus stops and gives Tyrone a shove.
What's your plan now, you butt
fucking, fat ass, girl repelling,
lousy excuse of a black man?
You wanna know my plan, is that
what you wanna know?
You deaf too, man whore?
With that the fight is on.

Tyrone leap on top of his brother, crushing him to the

Titus grabs Tyrone by the crotch and tosses him.

Tyrone yanks down Titus's baggy pants and stomps on his man

Both boys rolls across the parking lot, as cars screech out
of the way.

Titus smashes Tyrone's face on Nana's rear bumper. Tyrone
goes down as Titus straightens up and dusts off his hands.
Joey stirs and looks around.
Another day at the fucking office.


As Joey slowly gets out of his car, RAMON GONZALEZ, late
50's, thin, balding, jumps out of his car and runs over.
Titus, Jesus, what is it with you
Ramon tries to help Tyrone up.
Don't look at me. This pussy...
      (points at Joey)
...just backed into him.
Yeah, me and Tyrone are heading
for work when this clam licker
comes out of nowhere and cold
cocks him.
What of it, kid. You got something
to say about taking down one of my
best employees?
I didn't do nothing. I was
catching a cat when that one
      (points at Titus)
...pushed the other one into
Nana's rear end.
Ramon casts a suspicious look back at Titus. Titus plays
What of it, Titus. You know one
more incident with you two and
you're out. I don't care how great
you are with the boats. Well?
Um, well, it's, uh?
Joey, realizing the situation, jumps back in.
Uh, you know. He's right. I was so
nervous about starting work here
that I put the car in reverse


                       JOEY (cont'd)
instead of park.
Joey turns and offers a hand shake to Tyrone and Titus. All
shake as they look sideways at Ramon.
Sorry fellows. Hope I can make it
up to you sometime.
Work today? Are you Joey Deaver,
from Phillie?
Yes sir. Send down to serve my
work probation. Suppose to see a
Ramon Sanchez to get me set up.
Titus and Tyrone size Joey up.
Well you found him. Come on.
Follow me.
The group all turn and head towards the large showroom. At
the same time, a Ducati MOTORCYLE whips into the parking lot
and skids to a halt next to Nana's car. The helmeted RIDER
checks out the car.
Ramon leads an amazed Joey into the large, well appointed
showroom. Several suited salesmen show potential customers
brochures and framed POSTERS of magnificent yachts. Tyrone
and Titus peal off and exit through a DOOR marked "Private."
This is incredible. I've never
seen nothin' like this back home.
This is the sales nerve center.
Everything you need to complete
your yacht experience is available
here at Boyle's.
Ramon points out the various departments surrounding the
rooms perimeter.



-Yacht sales and leasing.


-Nautical Accessories



Joey takes in the scene at each department. He stops
Ah yes, atmosphere.
Ramon takes Joey over next to the Atmosphere department.
Standing behind the counter, two beautiful young women say
hello to Ramon, then share sultry grins with Joey. Ramon
addresses Joey as he gestures towards the beauties.
You see, Joey, part of the image
of being a yacht owner is the
company you keep on deck. The
atmosphere department provides
living visual aids to complete the
fantasy yachting experience. Do
you understand?
The two women continue to drink up Joey while toying with
their blouse buttons. Joeys stares, then turns back to
So you're a pimp, right?
The girls break out in big smiles. Ramon grins until he
spots Boyle and Judge Washington enter the showroom.
Grabbing Joey by the arm, they quickly move to the "Private"
door. Just as Boyle checks out the room, Ramon and Joey
leave, closing the door behind them.
Ramon leads Joey down a flight of stairs into a massive
repair area. One wall is open to a yacht filled marina.
Technicians move about working on various boats.


Well, this is it. Where you will
be spending the next 12 months.
Joey follows Ramon across the room to a office with a window
that looks back out over the room.
I understand you're a fair
mechanic yourself.
I know the difference between a
socket and box wrench.
Ramon enters the office and heads over behind a cluttered
desk. Joey takes a seat in front of the desk.
Wonderful. Here you will learn all
the aspects of running a
successful boat yard and marina.
A loud FLUSH fills the office. A small door behind Ramon's
desk bangs open and TINKER HOWARD, mid 20's, thin,
coveralls, exits, hitching up his pants.
Left my own creation in there for
the new guy, Ramon.
      (holding his nose)
What the hell did you do in there,
Tinker? Jesus, your ass should be
condemned and buried six feet
Shit, Ramon, that's nothing. Wait
till those haubenero enchiladas
kick in later.
Tinker laughs and heads out into the work area.
Sorry about that. Only head in the
place in right here.
Ramon points over his head to the bathroom door. Joey
watches Tinker walk over to a huge work table full of
various wires, electronics and supplies.


So what's up with that Tinker guy?
Tinker? Well, he's sort of a jack
of all trades around here. See the
way it is with boats, you can't
always find the part you need. But
Tinker there, he's kind of an
Joey and Ramon check out Tinker as he sparks up a huge flame
from his blow torch, setting a small dingy on fire.
And if you need anything made up
to complete a job.
Tinker unleashes a blast from a fire extinguisher, covering
his entire table and himself in fire repellent.
Believe it or not, he's your man.
Joey continues to stare at Tinker as he taste tests the
repellent stuck to his fingers.
So, any questions?
Before Joey can open his mouth, a commotion can be heard
from out in the work area. Ramon and Joey both move over to
the window.

Boyle and KAT LARGEHANDS, mid 20's, dirty blond hair, in
coveralls, are in a heated argument. With Judge Washington
looking on, the rest of the TECHNICIANS purposely avoid the

Finally, Kat stomps away and Boyle turns towards the office
with the judge in tow.
Oh boy.
Joey hustles away from the window and stands at attention
next to Ramon. Boyle and Judge Washington bang through the


Jesus Christ, she's a bitch. Can
you believe the way she talks to
me, especially after all I've done
for her.
As a father of a wild daughter I
      (cuts off the
Private tutors, language lessons,
Pepperdine, hell, she went to
fucking equestrian camp every
summer. Now she trying to tell me
how to run the shop, my SHOP!
Ramon! Where's the new convict?
I'm here, sir.
Boyle get face to face with Joey. The judge right behind
Boyle, also giving him the jimmy eye.
This the one, Judge?
Uh hmm.
He don't look like much to me.
He attacked my Claire. Tied her up
like a dog. Made her his bitch.
Like the rough stuff, eh, son?
No sir.
You lying motherfucker! You
The judge comes after Joey. Boyle and Ramon leap to hold him
back. Joey stands frozen, wide eyed.


Take it easy, Clarence! Take it
The judge stops struggling and regains his composure. He
slowly gets into Joey's face.
One wrong step, one little oopsie
with a local sweetie. That's all
it will take. Then your ass is
mine. We understand each other,
Joeys stands, unable to speak. The judge glares, then
retreats back by the door. Just before leaving, he points at
his two eyes then at Joey.
I'll be seeing you in 12 months.
Looks like you got a tough road
ahead, son. Don't blow it.
Joey looks past Boyle out to where Kat has pulled down the
top of her coveralls, revealing a tight tank top stretched
over a fabulous set. Boyle follows Joey's gaze.
Boy, you ever get close enough to
even smell her, I'll kill you,
then I'll cut off your pecker,then
I'll violate you back to prison,
we clear?
As Joey nods, Boyle and the judge turn and storm out. After
they leave, Ramon crumbles into his chair. After a few deep
breaths, he looks up to Joey.
Come on, lets get started.
Ramon leads Joey out into the bay.
So the way it works around here


Joey, in clean press coveralls, pushes a broom past Titus
and Tyrone as they detail a boat.
                       RAMON (vo)
You start at the bottom, sweeping.
Joey, covered in black slim, scrapes barnacles and sea life
off the bottom of a boat.
                       RAMON (vo)
Scraping hulls.
Sewage dumps onto Joey's head from the discharge PIPE of the
boat he is scraping. Kat laughs as she strolls by.
                       RAMON (vo)
Discharging holding tanks.
Joey, complete with bucket and plunger, waits at the
bathroom door. After a moment, the door swings open,
smacking him in the face. A grinning Titus strolls out as
Joeys FACE turns sour from the smell.
                       RAMON (vo)
And cleaning the head.
With a spectacular sunset in front of them, Joey and Ramon
share a beer. Below them, Kat, in cut off shorts and tank
top, works on a boat.
After doing well for a few months,
you get to move on to better

Joey, dress up in his best t-shirt, tags along with a cheesy
SALESMAN, as he points out the features of a large salon.

Joeys helps several small Asian women roll canopies for a
party in the showroom.

Joey ties the bikini top of a model lounging on deck for
some Arab buyers. Kat walks by, shaking her head in disgust.

Joey, acting as a waiter, serves champagne to several older
women at a evening cocktail party on the pier next to the
marina. Away from the party goer's, Kat and Boyle argue,
with Kat eventually stomping off. Joey watches.


As Joey spots Kat disappear into the mechanics bay, Ramon
catches the gaze of an atmosphere MODEL. He grabs two flutes
of champagne from Joey and heads off.
Just keep doing good, kid, you'll
be free of us in no time.
Joey enters the dimly lit bay, empty except for a sobbing
Kat. As he slowly walks her way, she starts to pull it
together, grabs a wrench and starts working a large
generator at her work station.
Need a hand?
Startled, Kat wipes the remaining tears off her face.
What are you doing here?
I've been working the party.
You look like a groom.
Joey chuckles.
Never been called that before.
Kat goes back to her work, struggling with a huge wrench to
loosen a large bolt on the generator.
Let me help you with that.
Joey puts his champagne tray down and moves next to Kat,
taking hold of the wrench. Kat elbows him.
I got it!
Kat pushes the wrench will all her might, nothing. Joey puts
his hand over hers and they both push hard together.
Suddenly, the bolt gives, sending both of them to the floor,
with Kat ending up on top of Joey.


Are you OK?
Kat stares into Joeys eyes, momentarily stunned by how
handsome he is.
      (soft voice)
Joey shares a little smile. Kat smiles back. Neither of them
I, uh, guess I should probably get
back to work, huh?
Yeah, me too.
She lays on Joey another moment, then stands and offers him
a hand. He takes it and she pulls him up. They stare at each
Well, see you later, I guess.
Kat hesitates, then turns back to her work. Joey starts to
leave, then stops.
So what's the deal between you and
your father?
Kat turns back around, a stern look on her face.
A faint glow fills the early morning sky outside the
mechanics bay. Joey, now in t-shirt, face covered in grease,
lays under the elevated generator, working a wrench.
Standing above him on a ladder, Kat works bolting a valve
cover on.
They both finish working at the same time.


Joey rolls out on his creeper and stands to inspect Kat's
work. Kat jumps down from her ladder to checks Joey's. Both
slowly review the others finished product, subtly nodding
their approval.
You weren't kidding when you said
you knew your way around an
I've never seen anyone who can
turn a wrench like you, ever!
Joey looks from the generator to Kat.
Master mechanic. That's what you
said you are?
Kat smiles and moves to put her tools away.
Lot of good it does me here. My
father sure doesn't take me
seriously. Thinks I should be some
type of dilettante or something.
Kat smiles at Joey.
Never mind. You know, I love Key
West and I love working on boats.
Problem is Dad's the biggest game
in town. No way any ones gonna
cross him to hire me.
Kat takes a seat on bench, frustrated. Joey takes a seat
next to her.
Anyway, thanks for all your help.
You went way beyond the call of
duty helping me all night finish
that up.
Joey stares into her beautiful eyes.


And, well, sorry for being, you
know, kind of a bitch to you the
last few months. Dad brings guys
like you in, supposedly helping to
turn your lives around, blah,
blah, blah, when what he's really
doing is getting free slave labor
for a year.
I'm just glad I got to spend some
time with you, you know. Hell, I
got to spend the night with you.
Kat blushes and starts to answer, but VOICES outside cut her
                       TITUS (os)
No fucking way you are gonna take
my Benjamin's. You are too stupid
to live.
                       TYRONE (os)
You are such a worthless pussy. I
can beat you with my dick and
still have enough left to fuck
your whore of a girlfriend!
An unseen scuffle ensues between Titus and Tyrone. Kat
quickly gets up and heads towards the door.
Where you going? I thought we
could split an omelette?
Joey, I appreciated the help,
really. But I think it's best no
one know about last night. And if
those two clowns hear about it, my
father will find out for sure, OK?
Sure, no problem. I won't say a
word, my lips are sealed.
Kat nods her thanks and hustles out. Joey watches her go.


Joey, Titus, Tyrone and Ramon sit around a card table on
deck of a litter covered tug boat. Beer cans, cards and
money fill the table.
You fucked her?
I didn't fuck her.
You just said you spent the night
with her.
Oh yeah, you fucked her. YEAH,
rode that train all night long,
Um, um, um. Oh baby, um!
That is awesome!
Was she a virgin?
Jesus, I don't know. I didn't
touch her! Well, except when she
was on top of me.
That's what I'm talking about!
You better hope Boyle doesn't find
I didn't do anything with her! I
just helped her tune up a
Yeah, right? Never took you for a
wad sucker.
I'm not a wad sucker!


So you did poke her. I knew it!
Ramon and Titus high five.
Jesus. I should have never told
you guys.
You know, Boyle will cut off your
pecker if he finds out you diddled
his daughter.
                       TINKER (os)
And don't forget about the judge.
He'll bounce you back to prison
right now when he finds out.
Everyone stares over at Tinker, who has appeared from the
wheelhouse. Tinker, sans pants, is wearing diaper like
underwear with "Gotta Go" printed on the waste band.
What the fuck you got on now,
Tinker walks over and takes a seat the table, checking out
his cards.
That some kinda penis pouch or
Come on, Tinker, what gives?
Tinker throws out a bet and everyone follows suit.
It's a Gotta Go.
Gotta what?
Cards are discarded, dealt. More betting.
Gotta Go. Look, you know how when
you go to a football game, or a
concert or movie or something.


                       TINKER (cont'd)
Well, maybe you had a few beers,
maybe you gotta, you know, go, but
don't want to get up, cause you
might miss something. Well, the
Gotta Go here solves all your
You mean its a diaper. Hell, my
Nana wears those.
Not the same. The Gotta Go is
specifically designed for men of
leisure who need urine relief over
several hours. The three point
system strategically places the
Gotta Go receptacle in any boxer
brief or jock strap. Once the unit
is full, it signals the user.
A BEEP sounds from below the table. Tinker stands up and the
waste band now reads "Went."
Now, you simply discard the
Tinker grabs the Gotta Go, rips it off, and tosses it
overboard. The men are in awe.
Any questions?
Ramon and Joey walk down the pier away from the tug. Titus
and Tyrone's VOICES carry into the night as they insult each
other. Joey arrives at Nana's car parked in a small lot at
the end of the pier.
I really like her, Ramon.
You heard Boyle that first day.
You so much as smell her shit,
he'll bust you.


It's funny. The whole reason I'm
here is because I've got no
control when it comes to women.
Now I've met a girl I really like,
for once, and I can't do a thing
about it.
Ramon feels no pity for Joey.
Uh, yeah, poor you, went over your
quota for fucking and got sent to
Florida. Boo hoo.
Joey laughs as Ramon walks towards his car.
See you tomorrow, Joey.
Joeys eyes look past Ramon out onto the water. The "Candy
High" slowly cruises by. MARIA SANCHEZ waves at Joey from
the railing.
Uh, yeah, see ya.
The bay is a bustle of activity as another days work is
under way. Joey and Kat clean tools at her station, smiling
at each other.
You think this is such a good
idea, me and you?
Look Kat, I've been down here over
seven months now. I've kept my
nose clean. All I'm looking for is
someone to go to dinner with.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing I guess. Still?
Kat looks up at the stairs to the showroom. Boyle appears at
the open door as he speaks to someone in the showroom.


We better make it a late dinner,
just to be sure every ones gone,
Ramon comes out of his office and looks over at Joey.
Deaver! Over here, now!
Kat mouths "Bye" as Joey heads over to Ramon.
Yeah, boss.
Gonna give you a shot, Joey. Full
overhaul, prop refurbish, drive
shaft turn, the works. You think
you're ready?
Fuck yeah.
Slip 16, just down the pier. Huge
boat, too big for the shop. Will
be all on site work.
No problem, I'm on it.
Joey turns to leave.
And Joey.
Joey turns back to Ramon.
Don't fuck it up.
Joey nods and is off.


Joey, tools in hand, coveralls, consults a piece of paper as
he checks out the boats in each slip. Suddenly, he stops in
his tracks. Looming large in slip 16, "Candy High." Standing
above, in a barely there bikini, Maria.
Hi Joey D.
      (under his breath)
Joey works away taking apart a large engine. Parts and tools
cover the floor. Overheated, he unzips his coveralls and
pulls them down around his waste. He muscles ripple as he
turns a wrench on a tight bolt. Behind him, Maria, still in
her bikini, arrives with a tray of drinks. She eats him up
with her eyes.
Break time.
Joey turns, smiles, and grabs a glass of water. He downs it
in one gulp.
Thanks, Maria. It's a hell of a
lot hotter in here than at the
Maria pours him another glass, then sits down on a small
bench. Joey flops down next to her.
So how have you been, Joey?
Joey works the throttle as he eases the large yacht through
the marina. Maria stands at his shoulder, her arm around his
Seems to be running smoothly now.


Joey nods to a uniformed pilot who takes over the steering.
Joey and Maria walk back to a large seating area and sit
I'm glad to hear all is good with
you, Maria. I've wondered how you
I'm happy to hear you have found
love, my Joey...
      (fakes a pout)
...even if it isn't with me.
Joey laughs and look out over the water towards a row of
dilapidated water front buildings.
I'm not sure what I would call it.
Kat is way out of my league, kinda
like you.
Maria smiles and snuggles next to Joey.
Still, there's something about
her, something that makes me feel,
I don't know, sorta sick to my
stomach. Weird huh?
That's called being sick with
love, my Joey.
The yacht slows down in front of a particularly decrepit
building. Maria gets up and walks to railing to check it
And there's really only one cure.
Several deck hands tie off the Candy High as CARLOS SANCHEZ,
mid 50's, polished, dark suit and sunglasses, walks off the
boat and greets several men at the crumbling building. From
the boat deck above, Joey finishes packing up his tools as
Maria leans against the railing, now in a sun dress.
So your Dad's selling this place?


He was using it for his business.
That dump? What kind of business
is he in?
Uh, he's an importer of sorts. I
don't really understand it to tell
you the truth.
Joey finishes packing and walks over next to Maria.
Well, I guess I better get back to
the shop. Your father's boat is as
good as new.
Joey, do you think, well, that
maybe we could be together again?
Joey takes Maria in his arms.
You know we met under strange
You saved my life.
I'm not sure about that!
Well, you did.
Joey looks over Maria's head down at Carlos. Carlos and the
other men are now inspecting several machine guns. Carlos
looks back up, seeing Joey canoodling with Maria. Joey
quickly lets go of her and goes back to his tools.
I gotta go, Maria. Stop by the
shop if you're ever in town again,
Joey bounces down the gang plank, past the group of men.
Glancing back as he heads across the pier, he spots one of
the men stick a "For Sale" SIGN in the window of the shop.


I will, Joey, I will.
Joey strolls into the busy shop and stops next to Kat's work
station. She's no where to be found. Next to her station,
Titus and Tyrone work detailing a sleek ski boat.
Stop fucking around, will ya?
What's the big fucking deal. It's
not our asses he wants to chew on.
The boys spot Joey.
Oh shit, Joey, get over here,
Move your ass, boy, hurry!
Joey shakes his head and walks over next to the ski boat.
You gonna tell me what's up?
Look Joey, Boyle's been asking
around about you.
Boyle? What the hell for?
Word is, he thinks you been
sticking your hot dog in his
daughter's wonderbun.
Where did he get that idea?
Don't know, but better watch it
all the same, know what I mean?


Yeah, OK, thanks guys. See you
Joey, now concerned, starts walking back towards Ramon's
office. He stops next to Kat's station again, goes to her
work table and scratches out a note. He folds it and writes
"KAT" on the outside, leaving the PAPER next to her purse.
After a quick look around, he hustles off.
Moonlight spills into the dimly lit mechanics bay. A love
SONG softly plays from an old RADIO.
Across from the open bay doors to the marina, standing next
to an old cot and metal storage locker, Joey, in boxer
briefs, holds different shirts up against his chest in front
of a mirror.

Set on the cot are two GOTTA GO'S, one red and one blue. A
partially open curtain provides some privacy between Joey's
living quarters and the empty mechanics bay.

Joey decides on a black V-neck t-shirt and pulls in on. As
he messes with his hair, someone WHISTLES a soft wolf call
from behind the curtain. Joey stops his messing and looks
out towards the shop.
Hello? Kat?
The curtain slowly moves over, revealing a smiling Maria.
She is stunning in a very sexy, very revealing, little black
Maria moves over to Joey, inches from his face.
Are you disappointed?
She moves even closer.
      (soft voice)
Do you want me to go?


Maria moves her hand slowly up Joey's arm, stopping at his
I, uh, I guess I wasn't expecting
you, that's all.
Joey, slightly panicked, scans the bay behind Maria. The
coast is clear.
I've missed you Joey. Ever since
we met, when you saved me, you're
all I can think about.
Maria puts both hands on Joeys face, giving him a soft kiss.
Please Joey.
Maria takes a small step back and slowly unzips her dress
from the back.
Maria, I?
The dress falls to the ground, Maria's tan body on full
Please love me, just one more
time. I promise I'll never bother
you again.
Maria again steps up to Joey, pulling him into a full
embrace. Joey doesn't know what to do with his hands,
finally settling them around Maria's waste.

As Maria continues to kiss Joey, the CURTAIN moves a little
                       KAT (os)
Joey, I'm here. I got your note, I
can't wait to...
Kat comes around the curtain, finding a staring Joey and
Maria, still hugging.


...oh my God! Joey?!
Kat turns and starts to run across the mechanic bay. Joey
tries to separate from Maria.
Kat, wait! It's not what you
think! Kat, please!
Kat disappears out of the mechanics bay as Maria finishes
putting her dress back on. Joey follows her out, but stops
just outside when he finds Kat no where to be seen.
As Maria starts towards the shop door, Tinker walks out of a
small cabin cruiser at his work station. Wearing a red Gotta
Go and carrying a large plastic beer schooner, Tinker stops
in mid step as his eyes meet Maria's. She pauses when she
spots Tinker, a slight grin tugging at her mouth.
Titus, Tyrone and Joey gather next to a blazing red Go-Fast
boat. Titus and Tyrone are decked out in full Coast Guard
life jackets and huge helmets. Joey, in cut offs and tank
top, stares at the two jokers.
You gotta be fucking kidding me?
No fucking way I'm getting in that
thing with you two idiots.
      (hands Joeys a
Stop being such a pussy. You said
you like to go fast.
That IS what you said, Joey D.
In a car, you know, on land, with
a road.
Look, dick-less. You haven't had a
day off in months. Get a pair and
saddle up.


Titus hands Joey a child's orange life jacket while Tyrone
grabs the helmet out of Joeys hands and shoves in on his
      (muffled voice)
Get your fucking hands off me!
The two boys pick Joey up and toss him head first into the
boat, then jump in next.
Sorry pal, time to fly.
Titus quickly throws off the bow line. Before he can get to
the stern line, Tyrone hits the THROTTLE and the boat
rockets off the dock, pull the rear CLEAT off, bouncing it
off Joeys head. In seconds the boat is screaming out over
the Caribbean.
Titus pilots the boat out over the waves as Tyrone breaks
open a giant cooler full of beer. Joey hangs over the side,
Oh man, don't do that.
Shit, watch the gel coat, will
Joey, face covered in chunks of puke, flips them both off.
The boys howl with laughter.
Titus throttles down as they pass a buoy SIGN marking the
boundary for "Dry Tortuga National Park." As the boat slides
onto the beach, Tyrone jumps out and sticks an anchor in the
Miller time.


Lounging beach side with the famed Fort Jefferson behind
them, the three boys relax on cheap lawn chairs around the
cooler. Several empties litter the area. Titus lets out a
loud BELCH.
Ah, that's what I'm talking about.
I can't believe you didn't know
where Boyle's business came from.
You really are stupid aren't you?
I never thought about it, I guess.
I mean, boats come in, boats go
out. That's what I see.
Titus and Tyrone give Joey the "come on, get real" look.
If I had to guess, I'd bet sixty,
seventy percent of Boyle's
business comes from people in the
leasure pharmaceutical trade.
Take that piece of candy, Maria
Sanchez. You think her Dad just
cruises around for a living?
I did see Mr. Sanchez and some
other guys checking out a bunch of
guns the other day.
Machine guns?
Tools of the trade, buddy. Either
a Mac 10 or AK, all the drug guys
got one or the other.
How does Boyle do it? I mean he's
got friends like the judge, he's
got probation officers coming and
going for guys like me. Sounds


                       JOEY (cont'd)
pretty risky.
Shit, he loves the action. Wants
to get close, but not too close,
to the criminal element, as he
calls it. Makes him feel like he's
part of it.
Titus gets up and starts of pee into the surf.
My advice, steer clear of the lot
of them. That's nothing but
Even though Titus has no dick, he
makes a point. Our advice, stay
away from anything to do with the
Titus pulls the boat back up to the dock as Tyrone jumps out
and ties the lines. Joey again hangs over the edge. The boys
laugh, throw their vests and helmets on Joey and take off.
See you at the office, chum boy.
Joey, nursing a 7-Up, walks the dark pier fronting the shop
for sale. As he reaches the shop, he checks to be sure the
coast is clear, then forces the door open and goes inside.
RATS scurry into the shadows as Joey turns on a dim overhead
light. The shop is filled with dusty equipment, tables and
tools. Towards the back, Joey makes out a door marked
"Private." After a walk around the room, he heads towards
the door.


Joeys tip toes into the cluttered office, spying several
invoices on the desk. After side stepping another rat, he
checks out the paperwork. From the doorway behind him,
Looking for something in
Joey drops the paperwork and swings around.
Jesus, you scared the shit out of
Carlos moves into the room, checks out the invoices Joey was
looking out. Out in the work room, two gun toting GOONS
appear at the door way.
Scared you? You are the one
trespassing on my property. I
could legally kill you if I wanted
I'm not trying to steal or
anything. I just wanted to check
out the shop, you know, to buy it.
Buy my shop? But you are a simple
mechanic, from the boat yard.
You know who I am?
An evil smile crosses Carlos face.
Maria has told me all about you.
She has?
I think you better come with me
Carlos gestures out the door towards the grinning goons.
Joey swallows hard.


Joey, Carlos and the goons troop out the front of the shop.
Idling in front is a black Escalade. Smiling from the back
seat, Maria waves at Joey.
Lets go.
Boyle swivels in a huge chair behind his equally huge desk.
The desk top is empty except for a thin portfolio. Kat
stands, hands on hips, in front of the desk.
You won't even look at it. I've
been working on this for weeks.
Boyle, chair back towards Kat, stares out a huge picture
window behind his desk.
Why would I want to go into
business with you? If you were
successful, which I doubt, you
could cost me some serious money.
I can't keep working here, Dad.
I've got to try to make it on my
Boyle swings back around, giving Kat a hard stare.
So this is how you repay me for
everything I've done for you, by
walking out on me?
This is not about you Dad! I'm
grown up! I want to take the next
Boyle shoves the portfolio to the edge of the desk.
You're not going anywhere. Are we


Kat snatches the portfolio.
And one other thing, there better
not be anything in your so called
plan, that mentions recruiting any
of my shop people, particularly
the young men that I have
graciously volunteered to
rehabilitate, understand?
Kat storms out.
Thanks for nothing, DAD!
Kat pulls her motorcycle into a spot and parks. As she takes
off her helmet, Joey wheels in next her. Seeing him, Kat
turns her back to him as she takes off her leathers. Joey
gets out of his car and hustles over.
Kat, please talk to me. There is
nothing going between me and
You sure had me fooled.
She's just a friend.
All your friends kiss you naked in
your room, while you are in your
She was just looking for, you
know, one more go.
Kat finishes packing her gear on her bike and gives Joey the
hard stare.
One more go, huh? Thought you were
suppose to steer clear of women.
Thought that's how you got, quote,
stuck, in Key West.


Kat, exasperated, turns to leave. Joey grabs her arm.
Kat, please, wait. There's
something important I need to talk
to you about. Something that,
well, involves Maria.
As Joey grabs Maria, Boyle pulls into his spot on his new
motorcycle, identical to the one that went into the water.
Seeing Joey grab Kat, he struts over.
Let go of me.
Joey quickly lets go.
I think you will be excited about
what I have to say.
Boyle arrives, panting.
What the hell is going on here,
Nothing Dad.
Is this convict bothering you?
It's fine, Dad. I can handle it.
Boyle stares at Joey, then over at Nana's car. He notices
the damage on the rear bumper.
Is that your car?
Boyle points at the bumper.
When did this damage happen?
Joey stares at Boyle, then glances at his MOTORCYCLE. He
makes the connection.


This is my Nana's car. I think she
backed into a cop back in Phillie.
I'm suppose to get it fixed for
her while I'm down here.
Nana's huh?
Car sure looks familiar to me.
Lots of red convertibles in
Florida, sir.
Um hum.
Boyle takes one more look at the car and Joey, then leaves.
You were lying to him, weren't
He told everyone about a red
convertible that blasted his
Harley off highway 1 while he was
stretching his legs.
I uh?
Kat smiles.
You know what I just realized?
You are a lousy liar.
Joey shuffles in place.


I never really noticed before. I
can't believe it. You are actually
an honest con.
Nana always said truth is better
than tracking lies.
Kat steps up close to Joey.
You're telling the truth about
Maria, aren't you. She was coming
onto you.
We had a, uh, prior encounter
before I even got here. Was
looking to start it up again.
So what did you tell her, after I
saw you two?
That I wanted to be with you.
Joey and Kat stare into each others eyes. Behind them,
Tinker yells from the showroom.
Kat, phone, realtor!
I've got to take this call. Talk
to you this evening?
Absolutely, tonight, late? I've
got the twins later.
Tinker, Tyrone and Titus share a pitcher of beer at a open
air bar. Swarms of tourists parade up and down Duval street.
A group of scantily clad girls wiggle by.


You're telling me you don't mind
the FUPA?
Fat upper pussy area.
Look, what I am saying is that a
generous F.U.P.A. can sometimes be
more comfortable, especially from
the top.
There are lots of sisters who have
F.U.P.A.'s, although where I'm
fron we call 'em U.V.B.
Upper vaginal bulge. Check that
one out there.
Three girls walk by in front of the boys. One is a
very attractive white girl with short shorts and a half
shirt. The second, a black girl sporting tight red Lycra
shorts, stretched over a large bulging lower ABDOMEN and
stomach. The third, another white, attractive twenty
something with a huge REAR END.
Would you look at the pooper on
that bitch.
You mean the high and tidy or the
whale tale?
High and tidy.
Good, cause dat other sheet got
enough junk in the trunk to hold a
yard sale.


Joey and Kat make their way through the Duval street
tourists. Ahead a SIGN for Key West Realty swings in the
breeze. Across the street, TITUS, TINKER and TYRONE continue
to point at women.
There's my posse.
You really going out with them
They look back over at the three BOYS, who are making
obscene grinding motions towards a passing group of girls.
They say they are going to expose
me to the local Key West culture.
Said all the locals will be there.
They stop walking in front of the realty office.
I'm sure. Well, here we are.
Why won't you tell me what you are
up to? It's killing me.
I will, later, when it's a done
A roaming photographer walks by and stops in front of the
two lovers. Joey and Kat poise. The camera clicks.
Besides, your cultural experience
Joey laughs and starts to move across the busy street.
See you here, after?
It's a date.
As Kat goes in the office, Joey is greeted by the boys and


An obviously gay host leads the boys across a large open
dance floor to a mirror backed horseshoe shaped booth. The
place is packed with couples and groups of men and women,
all drinking and having a good time. Disco MUSIC bumps in
the back ground.

After settling in, the boys spot the EMCEE of the show bound
up on the stage. The man, in drag, dressed as Marilyn
Monroe, flashes a bit too much leg and cleavage. The crowd,
including Tyrone, Titus and Tinker, HOWLS. Joey's mouth
Welcome, welcome, welcome! My,
what a wonderfully attractive
audience. I've never been so
More delight from the crowd. Marilyn starts circling the
room, microphone in tow.
I hope we don't have any virgins
in the room tonight. I'd hate to
be their first!
Marilyn contiues through the room, messing hair, squeezing
asses and batting her eyes.
Come on now, don't be shy. I'll be
gentle, really!
Marilyn stops at the boys table just as their drinks arrive.
Before they can take a sip, she seductively fondles Joeys
beer bottle, moving her tongue around the top.
How about you, handsome? New in
Before he gets a word out, Tinker, Titus and Tyrone respond
with a rousing "YES!"
Come on, honey. I'll be real
careful, honest!
Marilyn grabs hold of Joey, pulling him out onto the dance
floor. At the same time several more drag queens appear on
the stage and move onto the floor with them. Tina Turner,


Cher, Biancee, Madonna and Queen LaTifah all start running
their hands over Joey, including his man parts. The crowd
goes crazy as the group all start dancing, including Joey.
As the performers work up on stage, the waiter delivers
another round to the boys table, already overflowing with
empty bottles and glasses. Joey, shirt stretched open,
covered in lipstick, struggles to keep from passing out.
Titus lends an assist.
Come on, Superman. You said you
were gonna show us gentile
southern boys how a Yankee drinks.
I think I may have reached my
You seem pretty good to me.
Joey leans over and vomits on Tyrone's shirt front.
Maybe not.
What time is it?
Joey tries to stand up.
Crap, I'm late for my meet with
Joey misses a step down from the booth, landing flat on his
Holy shit!
The boys circle around Joey, hauling him up.
Come on, sailor, time to get you


                       JOEY (os)
Kat, Kat!
The boys pull him out of the bar.
Kat, obviously angry, slams the realty office door on her
way out. Spotting the boys across the street, she sets out
towards them.

Cars skids, nearly colliding, as she strides over to the
men. When Joey spots her, he attempts to right himself.
OK, here she comes. Make sure I
don't do anything stupid.
Kat arrives.
Hi Kat, how'd it...
Some motherfucker stole my shop!
Some bastard swooped in and outbid
me at the last minute. I was all
set to sign when the agent got the
Joey staggers. The boys steady him as Kat looks on
What are you talking about, Kat?
Kat starts walking down the busy sidewalk. The boys, helping
Joey, tag along.
The old shop, at the marina, the
one Joey told me about. I was
going to buy it, start my own
place, you know. But right before
I could close the deal, this guy
called, said he was representing a
some hot shit named Reginald


                       KAT (cont'd)
Tinker's eyes go wide.
Said this Starling guy would beat
any price by ten percent.
He did?
Yeah, so no matter what I bid, I
get beat by ten percent. I can't
Kat stops and turns to face the boys.
I've lived here my whole life and
never heard of this guy. You boys
know who he is?
No's all around, although Tinker still looks meek.
Well, I'm gonna find him, and when
I do, I'm gonna kill him!
Kat grabs Joey by the arm and pulls him away from Titus and
Come on, Joey. I need to burn off
some energy!
Joey throws his arm around Kat and they march away in to the
crowd. Titus and Tyrone watch them go while Tinker slumps on
a bench. After Joey and Kat disappear, they turn back and
stare at a disheveled Tinker.
Jesus, Tinker, what's up with you?
Kat pulls a staggering Joey along through throngs of
tourists. Spotting the SIGN reading "Garden of Eden", she
yanks Joey through a crowd and up the stairs.


A large crowd of barely clothed revelers fills the dance
floor in the center of the open air deck. Several sport body
paint. Music blasts from floor speakers.

A long bar covers one side of the square space. Topless
bartenders work serving the nude patrons. A small line of
customers wait next to a screened off area marked "Body
From behind the screen, Joey and Kat argue.
                       JOEY (os)
Kat, really, this is what got me
in trouble in the first place!
                       KAT (os)
It's legal here, Joey. Come on, I
need to burn off some energy!
                       JOEY (os)
This isn't exactly what I had in
mind for burning off energy.
                       KAT (os)
Come on, honey, let's go
                       JOEY (os)
The screen rocks as Kat, now nude, painted as a sunflower,
pulls an embarrassed Joey out onto the dance floor. Joey,
painted a bright yellow and black, looks like a honey bee,
complete with stinger. The crowd goes crazy as Kat starts
seductively dancing around Joey.
Titus, Tyrone and Tinker strut down the busy street,
checking out the talent.
What the fuck are you thinking,
I didn't do it! Someone used my
real name!


Pretty stupid name, Reginald.
Shut up!
When Kat finds out you stole her
dream, she's gonna kick your ass.
The boys stop in front of the Garden of Eden.
I've got to find out what's going
on. I didn't buy that old shop.
Someone is fucking with me.
A long black stretch limo eases up to the curb. Tinker's
mouth drops as Maria, dressed to kill in a tiny dress, exits
the rear door and glides over to the boys.
Good evening boys, Mr. Starling.
Their eyes go wide. Maria smiles.
Shall we dance?
Maria takes Titus and Tyrone by the arms and leads them up
the stairs. A stunned Tinker follows.
Tyrone and Titus, both body painted as elephants, complete
with a penis trunk, order drinks from the topless bartender.
Out on the dance floor, Maria, painted as a cat, slow dances
with Tinker, painted as a dog.
So you buy that shit Maria's
I don't see how transferring that
shop to Tinker is suppose to be a
reward for Joey saving her?
Me either.


Several painted sweetie's stroll by, eyeing the boys below
the waist.
All I know is Kat better not find
out that Tinker and Maria are the
ones behind this. I don't care how
you spin it, it will still stink
to Kat.
The slow song ends and a fast one begins. From the crowd
across the bar, Kat leads Joey out for a dance. Without
knowing it, Kat starts dancing right next to Maria and
Looks like we won't have to wait
long to find out after all.
The same group of painted girls beckon the two boys to join
them for a dance. The boys down their shots.
Shall we?
With a nod from Tyrone, they push off the bar to join the
Joey and Kat shake a leg, oblivious to Tinker and Maria
dancing behind them.
I just heard from Ramon. You'll
never guess who that Starling guy
Tinker, that's who.
Tinker, that doesn't make any
Maria bumps into Kat. Kat ignores it.
You told me in your note Maria's
dad owned that shop, right?


Another bump from Maria, Kat gives a little elbow back, but
doesn't look.
I think that little bitch Maria is
getting back at me, for stealing
you from her. She got her old man
to give that shop to Tinker.
But I saved her life! I can't
believe that.
Maria, twirling, slams into Kat's back, pushing her into
Joey. Kat, pissed, turns to face her attacker.
What the hell is your problem?!
Kat recognizes Maria.
It's you!
Kat leaps on Maria, the fight is on. The crowd cheers as
they make a circle around the brawling painted women. The
MUSIC beating faster.
I'm gonna kill you!
Joey and Tinker both try to pull the girls apart. Both are
pummelled to the floor by the wild women. The girls continue
to tear the place apart.
As the crowd blocks the stairs to the dance floor, several
black suited armed men push their way through. These are the
same men from Sanchez's yacht and shop.

Not making any headway, the men fire their machine guns into
the air. The crowd goes crazy, scrambling for cover. The men
finally reach the still battling Kat and Maria, separating
Let me go! Let me go!


Joey appears and grabs Kat from the guard. He sweeps the
crowd with his gun as they retreat with Maria.
Better watch your back, bitch!
Maria struggles to get free to resume the fight. The guards
pick her up and carry her out. Kat shrugs Joey off her,
storming over to the dressing area.

At the bar, a man in a white leopard mask and body paint
makes a note in a small book.
Titus, Tyrone and Joey lounge at a picnic table next to a
huge booth display for Boyle's Yacht World. All are hung

Several atmosphere models entice potential customers with
steaming buckets of conch. Boyle holds court with several
well healed Hispanics.
So she just left your white ass
there? No good bye, no see ya, no
      (head down)
Stop yelling at me.
He's not yelling, shit breath.
Yeah, you fucking crack whore
wannabe. You're the one who let
the golden pantied princess get
away. Don't jump on our shit.
Fuck my head hurts.
Joey gets up and stumbles over to one of the models.
Grabbing a conch in each hand, he slurps down the large
MOLLUSKS from their shells. After a couple deep breaths, he
unleashes an impressive burp. The girls giggle as Boyle
throws him a disgusted look.
Ah, that's better.


Joey digs a beer out a nearby cooler, pops the top and downs
the whole thing. Titus and Tyrone share a look of amazement.
Joey takes his seat again.
Look, for the last time. She left
me there. After the guns, and
fight, and drug enforcers, and
naked rampage, she just
disappeared. I can't find her
Did you ask her old man? He might
know where she is.
Are you kiddin' me. Uh, yeah, uh,
Mr. Largehands, after pulling your
nude, drunk, body painted,
daughter from a raging brawl
before she got machine gunned down
by narco thugs, she sort of
disappeared. Can you help me?
Great plan, numb nuts.
I guess when you put it that way,
it doesn't sound too good.
You think?
A couple different models come over and offer the boys some
oysters, along with a hefty shot of cleavage. After they
clear, Boyle appears right behind them.
What the hell are you pokes doing
here, besides scaring away my
The boys quickly stand up.
Sorry, sir. Ramon said you might
need us to help out today.
What I need is Kat here to charm
these guys with her boat smarts.
Anyone seen her today?


Boyle eyeballs the three guys. Blank stares back all around.
Great, just great. Johnson's, I'm
not paying you to stand around all
day. Go clean something. Deaver,
you always seem to be laying eyes
on my daughter, go find her.
The three hesitate.
You need a special invitation. Get
the hell on it!
"Yes sir" from the men, then they scatter. Joey dives into
the roving masses at the festival.


Joey takes in the wet tee-shirt contest.

Joey watches the girls beach volleyball game. A ball smacks
him in the face.

Joey participates in the "Most you can eat" conch contest.

Joey gets an extra long kiss at the "Meet Ms. Conch" booth.
As Joey parts lips with Ms. Conch, he turns and spots Kat on
the beach staring at him. On seeing each other, Kat starts
running down the beach. With Ms. Conch holding his shirt, he
stumbles before taking up the chase.
Kat! Kat! Wait!
Joey hits the sand, weaving between several topless lounging
lovelies. Up ahead, Kat jumps into a small dingy, fires up
the outboard and speeds away. Joey arrives a second later.
Kat, please! I need to talk to
you! Stop!
Kat, taking a quick look back, speeds off around the point.
Joey, defeated, sighs as he watches her go.

While he continues to watch, Carlo's two goons emerge from
the bushes and throw s black sack over Joey, lifting him up.


As he struggles to get free, the men muscle him over to a
driveway and toss him into a waiting van. Seconds later the
van, speeds away.
Sunlight streams in through the dirty windows of the shop
office. Joey, still under cover, sits on a chair in the
middle of the room.

Carlos, standing in front of Joey, signals for his men to
remove the sack. With the bag off, Joey squints to focus on
Mr. Sanchez? What's going on? Why
am I here?
Carlos just stares back at Joey, then fires up a cigar.
Smoke swirls around Joey's head.
I understand you have broken my
daughters heart. Taken up with
another woman.
It's not like that!
Carlos circles Joey, seemingly contemplating his next move.
Then how is it? She opened her
heart up to you. Shared her very
womanhood with you, am I correct?
More smoke blown over Joey. He chokes.
That's what I thought.
Joey, sweating from fright, watches as Carlos takes another
chair and sits directly in front of him, probing Joey with
his eyes.
What's gonna happen to me?!


Joey shuts up.
I've been watching you, Joey, ever
since you arrived at Uncle Teds.
Joey's eyes go wide.
I know what happened with Maria.
How you saved her from that
animal. The one called Skip.
From behind Carlos, one of his men drags a bound and gagged
Skip Buffman from the shadows.
According to my sources, Mr.
Buffman here has a habit of making
uninvited visits on women.
Skip struggles to break free.
My same sources tells me Mr.
Buffman violated another poor girl
after you intercepted him
attacking Maria. Sent her to the
hospital in fact.
Carlos gets up from the chair and walks over next to Skip
Seems like I am in your debt,
Carlos opens his jacket and hand a gun to one of his men.
It's clean. Take him away.
Skip panics as the men drag him back into the shadows.

Carlos walked back over to Joey, pulls out a huge knife and
cuts him free. Joey slowly stands as Carlos offers his hand.


I understand your friend Kat has
an interest in this shop.
Yes sir, she wants to open her own
place, get away from her father.
Mr. Largehands is a vile man,
always nipping at my heals.
I thought, well, that you had sold
the shop to someone else. Tinker?
Carlos shares a genuine smile, laughs.
A little ruse, my friend, to test
the mettle of my daughters NEWEST
love interest.
Carlos pats Joey on the back as he prepares to leave.
The shop is hers, Joey.
Carlos throws a key on the desk.
Kats, it's done.
Carlos takes Joey by the shoulders.
My debt is paid. She will have my
business. Now, I understand you
have some work to do yourself, to
win her over.
Carlos walks out, trailed by his men.
                       CARLOS (os)
Good luck my friend.
With Carlos gone, Joey looks around the shell of a shop.
After a moment, a slight nod rocks his head.


Joey, Titus and Tyrone lug huge tools boxes and supplies
down the pier fronting the shop.
I can't believe you hauled my fat
ass out of bed on a Sunday morning
to do this shit.
Ditto that.
You really think with your pecker,
don't you?
Ditto THAT too!
The three arrive at the shop door. Joey unlocks the large
garage roll up door and pushes it open. Inside, RATS scurry
into the shadows while several pigeons fly out of the
      (spotting the mess)
Jesus H. Christ!
Joey smirks as he totes the supplies inside.
Come on you crying pussies, I've
got two weeks before my hearing.
Let's get to it.
With resigned grunts, the two boys haul their tools inside.

Joey, cleaning up the shop, stops to scold Titus and Tyrone
as they spray beer on each other.

Titus, cleaning a disgusting bathroom, pulls a large rat out
of the toilet.

Tyrone hangs a Playboy centerfold over the office desk. As
he admires it, Joey strolls back and yanks it down.

Joey walks by Kat's empty work bay at Boyle's, frustrated he


can't find her.

Boyle hits the dial BUTTON on his cell phone for KAT. The
SCREEN reads "Number No Longer in Service."

Joey directs as Titus and Tyrone stand on ladders hanging a
sign for "Kat's Complete Boat Repair" over the newly painted
shop entrance.

Joey, Titus and Tyrone clink beers as they celebrate their
finishing the shop remodel.
Joey works to straighten a tie as part of an ill fitting
suit. Titus and Tyrone walk in wearing their best gangster
What the hell are you guys
wearing? I told you to dress up,
You bozos are supposed to my
character witnesses.
What the fuck do you mean? This IS
my best outfit. You think these
gold chains come free? You think
these pants don't scream class?
As Joey shakes his head in disgust, Tinker strolls in next,
a Gotta Go peeking out of his sweat pants.
Hey fella's. Ready for the hearing
today, Joey?
Tinker, your fucking diaper is
sticking out of your pants, your
SWEAT pants! Jesus, how the hell
am I going to make a positive
impression with you looking like
Next Ramon enters, hair plastered to his head, sporting a
loud plaid sport coat with contrasting wide tie. He falls in
line next to the others. Together, they make quite a lineup.
Joey, taking them all in, sighs and shakes his head.


Christ. Come on guys, let's get
this circus on the road.
The men smile and pat Joey's back as he glumly makes his way
through the group and out the door.
Crowds move through the grand lobby of the stately annex.
Joey nervously paces, stealing glances at the front doors.
As a crowd of rowdy teenagers passes, Joey spots GLORIA

Gloria, early seventies, short, thick, bad knits, takes a
long puff off her cigarette before tossing in on the
polished floor. Several onlookers frown in disgust.

Scanning the room, Gloria spots Joey, checks her file, waves
and waddles over.
      (thick Brooklyn
You Joey Deaver, from Phillie?
Are you Mrs. Goldstein? My hearing
That's Ms. Goldstein, honey. I've
buried three husbands and am
fucking done being some fat ass
slobs missus. You get me, boy?
Yes, ma'am.
Gloria starts to move, jewelry jangling. In spite of her
short statue, Joey struggles to keep up.
So I've only had a few minutes to
look your file over. Seems you
have a problem keeping it in your
pants in public. Am I right on
this, Joey D?


Gloria high fives a couple hookers as she works her way down
the crowded hall.
Look sugar, what's done is done.
As long as you stayed clean during
your diversion, everything should
be fine.
Gloria stops dead in her tracks, taking a hard look at Joey
over her half moon cheaters.
You have been good, right? There's
not gonna be no surprises when we
get in the court room, right?
No ma'am, I've stayed on the right
side of the law since I've been
Gloria keeps staring a beat then moves on with Joey in tow.
You bring your character witnesses
with you? You got 'em polished up
and ready to go?
Uh, sort of.
They reach the courtroom doors. As Joey straightens his tie,
Gloria hikes her pants up tight on her FUPA. Joey steals a
quick glance.
Don't worry, Joey D, I do these
all the time. Should be five
minutes, in and out. OK?
Gloria gives Joey a matronly smile and throws the door open
to the courtroom. With Joey trailing, she struts in.
As they march in, Joey stops dead in his tracks. Staring
hard from the prosecutors table sits Judge Washington. In
the first row behind him, Boyle Largehands, Jim Dickers and


Stewey Dinkers.

When Gloria sees that Joey has froze, she goes back and
leads him up to the defendants table. They both take a seat.
Who are those people?
Before Joey can answer, the door next to the judges podium
bangs open and clerk CANDY LANE, 20's, blond, bouncy, floats
over to the clerks desk. On the way, she gooses the court
guard, 70 plus year old WALT STRANGLER.
All rise for her honor!
Everyone stands. From the same door, Judge FLORENCE GILL,
late 50's, extremely overweight, robe straining against her
massive unsecured breasts, works her way towards the podium.

Reaching the first step, she pauses, catches her breath,
then takes the first step. Winded, she rests, pants several
times, then takes the next, nearly falling backwards.

The assembly gasps. Judge Washington frowns. With one step
to go, Candy makes a move to help. Judge Gill waves her off.

Using all she's got, she takes the final step up and
collapses into her groaning chair.
                       JUDGE GILL
      (out of breath)
Be seated.
Everyone sits.
                       JUDGE GILL
Are all the parties to be heard
MICK CURRY, wiry, late 40's, stands from the prosecutors
The prosecution's witnesses are
here, your honor.
Joey nervously looks back to the empty seats behind him.
Judge Gill moves on to Gloria.


                       JUDGE GILL
Ms. Goldstein?
Gloria looks at Joey. He shrugs.
Uh, your honor, we, uh?
From the back of the court room, the DOORS start shaking.
Everyone looks.
                       TYRONE (os)
Did you shit your fucking pants in
that thing?
                       TITUS (os)
Will you shut the fuck up. We
gotta get in there for Joey!
                       RAMON (os)
Open the fucking door, Tinker!
Suddenly the doors fly open and Titus, Tyrone, Ramon and
Tinker walk in. Seeing the crowd staring at them, they stop
in their tracks. Tinkers GOTTA GO, riding above his
wasteband, changes from reading "Gotta Go" to "Went."
      (sideways look at
We are ready now, judge.
The four men take up the bench behind Joey.
                       JUDGE GILL
Very good.
Judge Gill consults a large file on her desk, then returns
to the assembly.
                       JUDGE GILL
This hearing in now in order. The
business for today is to determine
whether the defendant, Joseph
Deaver, has meet all the
conditions of his court ordered
work deferment. According to the
sentencing papers filed by Judge
Clarence Washington...
The two judges nod to one another.


                       JUDGE GILL
...Mr. Deaver was to successfully
complete 12 months of volunteer
employment deferment at Boyle's
Yacht World, maintain a clean
record with the local law
enforcement, partake in civic
improvement, and...
Judge Gill take another look at the now grinning Judge
                       JUDGE GILL
...abstain from any morally
objective behavior as defined by
the court.
Now Boyle, Judge Washington, and Jim are all smiling. Dewey
looks a little uncomfortable.
                       JUDGE GILL
Ms. Goldstein, are you ready to
call your first witness?
Gloria stands up and consults her file.
We call Ramon Gonzalez, your
Ramon stands and makes his way to the witness chair.
Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but
the truth.
I do.
Ramon sits.
Mr. Gonzales, can you describe for
the court your first meeting with
Mr. Deaver?
Uh, sure. I met Joey when he was
sleeping in his car in a parking
lot. His ass end had just taken a
piece out of my black Johnson.


Gloria's mouth falls open. The Johnson's nod yes. The
prosecutors table stifles smiles.
Mick finishes up with an atmosphere model.
So you say Mr. Deaver removed your
swim top at a company function?
The beauty throws a sultry smile at Joey.
...not removed, exactly. He made
sure everything...
She thrusts her breast outward, straining her barely there
tank top.
...stayed in place, you know?
Of course. Thank you for your
wonderful presentation today. Your
witness, counselor.
Mick moves back to his table. A disheveled Gloria stands.
No redirect, judge.
                       JUDGE GILL
Please call your next witness.
The defense calls Tyrone Johnson.
Tyrone stands and pimp walks to the stand. Walt prepares to
swear him in. Tyrone raise his hand, while massaging his
crotch with the other. Candy spots this move, then smiles at
Tyrone. He winks and smiles back.
Do you swear to...


Fuck ya.
OK, fine.
Walk and Tyrone take their respective seats.
Mr. Johnson, how do you know the
We work together at Boyles.
And during your time working
together, have you had the
opportunity to get to know Mr.
Oh yeah. Real good.
And how would you judge his
character, based on your
He's straight up. First class.
Gloria beams. The defense table relaxes.
And based on you experiences, can
you give the court some examples
of Mr. Deaver's first class
A beat.
      (eyeing Candy)
Oh, right. Uh, well, let's see. I
guess the first time I knew he was
alright was when he covered for me
and Titus the first day we met


                       TYRONE (cont'd)
Covered for you?
Yeah. You see me and Titus were
grab assing in Boyle's parking
lot. But before Ramon could bust
us back to unemployment, old Joey
there floated a whopper lie to
cover our shit. It was better than
That's the best you can do to
quantify his character?
I mean do you have any other
examples of Joey's model behavior?
Oh sure.
Tyrone reels off several more examples.


"Joey fleeced me at poker, but good."

"Joey drove it home in the middle of the shop with that
sweet piece Maria Sanchez."

"Joey's real tight with the yachting snow pushers, if you
know what I mean."

"He even took special care of the bosses daughter. Helping
her out all night."
Mr. Johnson! Mr. Johnson!


No further questions!
                       JUDGE GILL
      (half stands)
We're good here, judge.
                       JUDGE GILL
Alrightee then. Ms. Goldstein,
will you be calling any more
The defense rests, your honor.
                       JUDGE GILL
Mr. Curry, anything further?
There's nothing we could possibly
add, your honor.
Judge Gill frowns.
                       JUDGE GILL
Ruling in five minutes.
The judge stands to leave.
All rise!
Everyone stands as the judge exits. After she's gone, Gloria
collapses in chair. Joey sits down next to her.
So what do you think? Went pretty
good, right?
Gloria just stares at him.
Everyone mingles around. Suddenly the judges door opens and
Judge Gill struggles up to the bench. Taking a seat,
everyone sits.


                       JUDGE GILL
Thank you for your patience. Mr.
Deaver, please stand.
Joey stands, along with Gloria. Behind them, Tinker, Titus,
Ramon and Tyrone stand as well. The judge shakes her head.
                       JUDGE GILL
With regards to the matter before
the court, I find the defendant...
SLAM! Walt throws the cell door closed on a stunned Joey. As
Walt walks away, Judge Washington saunters in, beaming.
Looks like you'll be heading back
to my neck of the woods, boy.
Things can get a bit sticky in the
big house, know what I mean?
This is crazy! I didn't do
anything. I kept my pants on the
whole time!
The whole time, huh?
Judge Washington reaches into his coat pocket and removes
Seems we might have a different
idea of exactly what that means.
The judge hands Joey the pictures.

-Joey wearing a green Gotta Go.

-Joey hugging a naked Maria with his pants off.

-Joey slow dancing in his body paint with Kat.

-Joey peeing into the surf with Fort Jefferson in the
Let me give you a little advice.
I'd learn to keep them on when you
get back to Phillie. You can keep
those, I've got more. Have a nice


                       JUDGE (cont'd)
day now.
The judge laughs his way out of the cell block.
As two marshals lead a shackled Joey to a waiting black
government sedan, Kat appears at the corner of the building.
Just as Joey ducks to sit in the car, he catches sight of

Pausing, he anxiously looks for a sign from her. She gives
him nothing, then turns and is gone. The feds push him all
the way in, get in themselves and drive away.

A large metal gate swings open as Joey, haggard, pale, walks
free from prison. Squinting in the sun, he catches sight of
Nana climbing off a city bus. Smiling, he walks up and hugs
his long suffering Grandmother.
Joey unpacks his bag. After pulling a pair of worn FLIP
and a couple GOTTA GO'S out and placing them on his bed, he
freezes, then takes out the picture of him and Kat taken in
front of the real estate office. As he smiles at the memory,
Nana walks in.
Looks like you had a nice time
down south, Joey.
Nana walks over to check out the picture in Joey's hand.
Is that the tramp that got you
thrown back in the pokie?
She's not a tramp, Nana!
Nana smiles. A beat.


That's the first time you've ever
raised your voice to me. Do you
know that?
Joey slumps down onto his bed.
I'm sorry, Nana. I don't know
what's gotten into me? I really
don't. I just spent six months in
prison for things I never did in
Florida, but all I can think about
is going back. Crazy, huh?
Nana sits down on the bed, then picks up the Gotta Go.
Can I have this?
Joey smiles.
You don't want to go back to
Florida, you want to go back to
Kat, Joey. If there's one thing an
old lady knows, it's a young man
in love.
Joey shakes his head and gets up to pace the floor.
Love? Come on. I barely know her.
Maybe, but you've known a lot of
women, Joey. More that even your
prince of an old man.
Yeah. And every time you get
together with a girl, you end up
in trouble.
Right, so why would I want to go
back. To get in trouble again?


Blanch gets up and walks over next to Joey. She holds his
shoulders to look him straight in the eye.
Don't you see. This is the first
time, ever, that you wanted to go
back. That you wanted to take the
risk on a girl, even if it means
more trouble. You're willing to
take a risk. To either get hurt,
or possibly, fall in love.
Joey stares at his wise old grandmother a beat, then goes
back over to the bed and picks up the picture again.
I do need to get your car back.
Nana smiles.
Tell you what. How about I go with
you, you know, to check things
out. Make sure she's good enough
for you.
Really? Are you sure? You haven't
left home in, well, ever!
Nana gives Joey a hug.
My home is wherever you are, Joey.
And besides...
Nana nods towards the various ITEMS on the bed.
...a little sun and skin sounds
pretty good to this old lady!
They laugh together.
Joey and Nana enjoy lunch on the back of the boat. Tinker
exits the cabin and places a box marked "Gotta Go Senior"
next to Nana.


Here you go, Nana. This should
hold you for a while.
Nana peeks in the box,then pulls out a bingo card printed
Gotta Go.
These are wonderful. Thank you,
You sure it's cool we bunk here?
It's no problem. I've been staying
with Maria. Things have really
been going well with us.
Glad to hear it.
Tinker grabs a couple Gotta Go's from the box and stuffs
them in his backpack.
Well, I'll see you. Got a lunch
date with Maria. Later.
Tinker walks down a ramp to the dock and is gone. A beat
later Stewey appears on the dock, along with Walt. Nana
spots them both, stifling a flirty smile towards a grinning
It looks like we have some
company, Joey.
Joey looks back at the two men. A scowl crosses his face.
What the hell do you two want?
Joey! Don't be rude to our guests.
Joey gets up and storms over to the ramp.
These are the guys that put me in
jail, Nana! They work for the


Joey bounces down the ramp.
Get the hell out of here! Both of
you! I've served my time!
Joey shoves Stewey, knocking him down.
You hear me!
Walt grabs Joey's arm. Joey takes Walt's wrist and swings
his arm around behind his back.
Blanch hustles down the ramp to Walt.
Let go of him right now!
Nana reaches Walt as Stewey stands and dusts himself off.
We're here to help you, Joey.
We're here about Kat!
It's true. We know where she is!
We know how you can reach her!
Joey searches the faces of the men. They appear to be
telling the truth. Nana takes Walt's arm.
Come with me. Tell us what's going
Joey, Stewey, Walt and Nana sit around the deck table. Nana
snuggles next to Walt. Joey and Stewey stare at each other.
Neither is happy.
The judge had you follow me, the
whole time?


I had no choice! He said he would
fire me if I didn't.
So you knew I was innocent. You
knew I didn't do any of that crap
they said in court! Why should I
believe anything you tell me know.
How do I know this isn't another
set up, to get me back in jail?
A beat.
Because I'm not working for the
judge anymore.
I quit after your hearing.
Because I can't stand working for
him, I can't stand the lying and
manipulation, all so he can put
away anyone he wants.
I don't know what to say.
Besides, I kind of like it down
here. These are my kind of people,
you know?
Take the information, Joey, go and
see her. I think you'll like what
you find.
Nana and Walt hold hands as they smile at Joey. Stewey nods
his head. Joey, after a beat, grabs a piece of paper from
Walt and runs down the ramp. With everyone watching, he
sprints across the dock into the passing crowd.


Joey arrives at the Sanchez shop. A large sign over the door
reads "J and K Complete Boat Repair and Service." Frowning,
Joey walks over and in through the front door.
Joey enters the large well kept bay. Tools line one wall.
The back garage door is open to the docks. A huge engine
sits dismantled in the middle of the floor. Joey looks over
at the partially open office DOOR.
                       TITUS (os)
Oh my God! She's gonna take it in!
All of it! Holy fuck!
                       TYRONE (os)
She still couldn't handle my shit.
I'd kill her, split her in two!
Joey smiles and wander over to the door, peeking in.
Titus and Tyrone, wearing matching white coveralls, stand
watching a hard core porn movie on a small TV mounted on the
wall. Both are amazed at the scene of two women with strap
on's going at it on the SCREEN.
She going! She's going! Ho Ho!
I can't watch. I can't watch. It's
too much!
Tyrone shakes his head and turns around, startled at finding
Joey there.
Joey fucking D! You're out!
Titus whips around as the video girls MOAN. Busted, he
quickly shuts off the TV.
You look like shit buddy! Let's
set you up.


Tyrone leads Joey over to a large couch and has him sit
down. At the same time, Titus opens a file cabinet drawer
and pulls out several beers from a hidden ice bucket. The
three men, in unison, all sit, pop their beers and take long
Ah, that's the ticket. So, Joey,
what the fuck's going on?
The three men, now in their underwear, watch the porn video.
Dozens of empty beer cans litter the room. Titus lets out a
huge belch. Tyrone snickers. Joey stands up, opens a window,
and pees out into the water.
      (still peeing)
So you guys got fired from
Boyle's, just for being a witness
at my hearing?
Titus works out a massive fart, hitting several notes.
Next fucking day. Bounced both of
us plus Ramon.
Joey finishes his long pee and returns to the couch.
We'd be up shit creek if it wasn't
for Kat. She saved our asses.
And she owns the whole place? Just
like that.
You did it, Joey. Fixed it up, got
Sanchez to sign it over,
everything. Kat really owes you.
The boys pause to watch a particularly interesting scene on
Good luck with that though. I
guess she heard about the hearing,
and, well, wasn't too impressed
with what you had been up to.


Joey gets up and starts pacing the floor.
So what the hell I am suppose to
He stops, stares at both Johnsons, then turns off the
moaning video.
I think I love her, fella's. I've
got to get her back. What should I
Titus and Tyrone grin at each other, then struggle up and
move over next to Joey.
Look, she's due back from Miami
tonight with a part for that
engine out there.
It's been kicking her ass. Driving
her crazy, can't get it going. You
know how she is with that stuff.
You make an entrance, get her
motor running, I bet it will all
be good.
You think?
She'd never admit it, but she
misses you too, Joey D. Tries to
be tough and all, but she does.
Joeys looks at both boys, They smile and look back, nodding
their heads.
Joey sits on a bench fronting the closed shop. Decked out in
a conservative suit and perfectly combed and gelled hair, he
is absolutely flawless.


Kat pulls up in a beat up pick up truck and jumps out.
Wearing stained coverall, she pushes her mussed hair off her
face. Not seeing Joey, she pulls a heavy cam shaft from the
truck bed. Lugging the part towards the front door, she
stops in her tracks when she spots Joey.
What are you doing here?
Joeys smiles. Kat struggles not to melt under his charm.
Looking for you.
Kat frowns and pushes past him, struggling with the cam
shaft while trying to open the door. Joey comes over and
grabs the part.
Let me help.
Kat drops the keys and pushes Joey away.
I can do it myself!
Kat, please.
Joey takes the cam shaft and sets it on the bench.
I want to talk to you.
Kat goes to pick up the keys. Joey beats her to it, holding
them just out of her reach.
Give me those.
Joey moves the keys higher as she tries to snatch them.
Dammit Joey. I don't have time for
this! I've got work to do!
The duel overhead cam diesel,
spread out all over the shop


How do you know about that?
I stopped by earlier, looking for
You need a job? Is that it? Fine,
come by tomorrow, you can fill out
an application.
Kat jumps and takes the keys for Joey. She starts to unlock
the door. Joey grabs her arm.
I'm not here for a job, Kat. I'm
here for you.
Kat tries to escape his hold.
Please Kat!
She stops and gives him her attention.
      (arms folded)