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Albert and Brenda (Short)
by Lycan Davis (lycandavis75@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **1/2


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY
                                                            
It's late afternoon. ALBERT and BRENDA are two,
well-dressed 20-30 somethings. Each wears business attire.
They walk toward one another on a sidewalk. Albert carries
a folder. Brenda has a purse.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Good day.
                                                            
He tips his hat. Brenda stops and wheels.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Excuse me?
                                                            
Albert stops and turns.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I wished you a good day.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
I heard what you said. i just
didn't know why you said it.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
It was just a polite salutation.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Politeness? Do you know me?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Can't say that I do.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
So you know nothing about either
me or my day, do you?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I guess that's a safe assessment.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Perhaps I've had an awful day and
just desire to get home and sleep.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
That said, you should be on your
way.
                                                            

2.

                       BRENDA
I should and yet here I am, trying
to figure out your motivations.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Actually, my motivations are few.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Oh, so here it is. Your care as
to the bearability of my day was
an act.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I don't think I'd go that far.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Then how far would you go?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Well, I'd go so far as wishing you
a good day.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
You've said so much.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
And most people enjoy having good
days.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Oh, so I, a person you've already
admitted not knowing, am exactly
like everybody else?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Dare I say, yes, that's the
assessment I'd make.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
And what if I told you that I was
extraordinary? That I'm a poet,
whose livelihood is based upon a
series of bad days and that your
little statement has just ruined
my day?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I'd say you're dressed differently
than any poet I'd ever met.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
And what's wrong with my outfit?
                                                            

3.

                       ALBERT
Didn't say anything was wrong. I
just don't think a poet would wear
a pant suit.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Pardon me, but I didn't know that
you were a fashion plate.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I'm full of interesting tidbits.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Might I suggest a new career?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Perhaps I'll become a poet. I
understand that I'm dressed the
part.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Funny boy. No, I don't think we'd
take you, dressed that way.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
And what way is that?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Tacky. Successful poets can't be
tacky dressers.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
And you're the expert?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Maybe I am.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Impossible.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Why's that?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I've never heard of you.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
How are you so sure? Do you even
know my name?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Can't say I do.
                                                            

4.

                       BRENDA
Then how are you so sure you've
never heard of me?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Lucky guess.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Ignorance is now masquerading as
luck?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
It certainly appears so.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
      (rolling eyes)
This generation.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Are you going to make a comment or
just give them recognition?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
A little of both.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Well, before you begin, please
keep in mind that we share
generations.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Oh, you should be so lucky.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
If you say so.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
So, in addition to wishing me
career failure and calling me a
bad dresser, you're now saying
that I'm old?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
I guess that depends on how old I
am, now doesn't it?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Don't change the subject. Why
don't you just call me fat and
wish horrible children on me and
be done with it?
                                                            

5.

                       ALBERT
You have children?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
No. Whatever gave you that idea?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
You were speaking of them as if
they are at home, right now, dirty
faced and waiting for you.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Oh no. So sorry. I have no
children. Sorry for the
confusion. Meant no harm.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
None done.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Where were we?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Generations.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Ah yes, this generation. nobody
wants to get to know people. You
strike up a conversation with me
and don't even ask my name. Now,
what kind of manners does that
show?
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Can't say very good ones.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Exactly. I blame the parents.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
The real ones or those who speak
of hypothetical children?
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Both.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Noted.
                                                            
They both look at one another for a second, then extend
hands to one another.
                                                            

6.

                       BRENDA
Brenda.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Albert.
                                                            
They shake hands, then go back to their semi-adversarial
roles.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
There. Glad that won't be hanging
over our heads.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Indeed.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
So, I must be going.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
Likewise.
                                                            
They start to walk away, then pause, turning.
                                                            
                       ALBERT
Good day.
                                                            
                       BRENDA
To you too.
                                                            
They walk off in opposite directions.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Grant Gelvin Date 12/9/2010 ****
No visuals, which could help with the set up greatly - where are they, what are they on their way to, are they in a hurry... The dialogue is all there is and it's not nearly clever enough to carry the scene. It seems little more than an idea, here.

From Bertrand Pare Date 10/26/2010 *
Nice stylized dialog.... This is a reeeeeally long scene with no drama whatsoever. It reads like a writing exercise.


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