Screenwriter Community |
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by Lycan Davis (lycandavis75@hotmail.com)
Rated:
Genre: Comedy
User Review:
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
FADE IN:
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EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY |
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It's late afternoon. ALBERT and BRENDA are two,
well-dressed 20-30 somethings. Each wears business attire.
They walk toward one another on a sidewalk. Albert carries
a folder. Brenda has a purse. |
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He tips his hat. Brenda stops and wheels. |
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Albert stops and turns. |
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ALBERT
I wished you a good day. |
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BRENDA
I heard what you said. i just
didn't know why you said it. |
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ALBERT
It was just a polite salutation. |
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BRENDA
Politeness? Do you know me? |
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ALBERT
Can't say that I do. |
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BRENDA
So you know nothing about either
me or my day, do you? |
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ALBERT
I guess that's a safe assessment. |
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BRENDA
Perhaps I've had an awful day and
just desire to get home and sleep. |
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ALBERT
That said, you should be on your
way. |
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2.
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BRENDA
I should and yet here I am, trying
to figure out your motivations. |
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ALBERT
Actually, my motivations are few. |
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BRENDA
Oh, so here it is. Your care as
to the bearability of my day was
an act. |
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ALBERT
I don't think I'd go that far. |
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BRENDA
Then how far would you go? |
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ALBERT
Well, I'd go so far as wishing you
a good day. |
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BRENDA
You've said so much. |
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ALBERT
And most people enjoy having good
days. |
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BRENDA
Oh, so I, a person you've already
admitted not knowing, am exactly
like everybody else? |
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ALBERT
Dare I say, yes, that's the
assessment I'd make. |
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BRENDA
And what if I told you that I was
extraordinary? That I'm a poet,
whose livelihood is based upon a
series of bad days and that your
little statement has just ruined
my day? |
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ALBERT
I'd say you're dressed differently
than any poet I'd ever met. |
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BRENDA
And what's wrong with my outfit? |
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3.
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ALBERT
Didn't say anything was wrong. I
just don't think a poet would wear
a pant suit. |
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BRENDA
Pardon me, but I didn't know that
you were a fashion plate. |
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ALBERT
I'm full of interesting tidbits. |
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BRENDA
Might I suggest a new career? |
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ALBERT
Perhaps I'll become a poet. I
understand that I'm dressed the
part. |
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BRENDA
Funny boy. No, I don't think we'd
take you, dressed that way. |
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ALBERT
And what way is that? |
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BRENDA
Tacky. Successful poets can't be
tacky dressers. |
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ALBERT
And you're the expert? |
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ALBERT
I've never heard of you. |
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BRENDA
How are you so sure? Do you even
know my name? |
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4.
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BRENDA
Then how are you so sure you've
never heard of me? |
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BRENDA
Ignorance is now masquerading as
luck? |
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ALBERT
It certainly appears so. |
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BRENDA
(rolling eyes)
This generation. |
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ALBERT
Are you going to make a comment or
just give them recognition? |
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ALBERT
Well, before you begin, please
keep in mind that we share
generations. |
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BRENDA
Oh, you should be so lucky. |
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BRENDA
So, in addition to wishing me
career failure and calling me a
bad dresser, you're now saying
that I'm old? |
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ALBERT
I guess that depends on how old I
am, now doesn't it? |
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BRENDA
Don't change the subject. Why
don't you just call me fat and
wish horrible children on me and
be done with it? |
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5.
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ALBERT
You have children? |
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BRENDA
No. Whatever gave you that idea? |
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ALBERT
You were speaking of them as if
they are at home, right now, dirty
faced and waiting for you. |
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BRENDA
Oh no. So sorry. I have no
children. Sorry for the
confusion. Meant no harm. |
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BRENDA
Ah yes, this generation. nobody
wants to get to know people. You
strike up a conversation with me
and don't even ask my name. Now,
what kind of manners does that
show? |
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ALBERT
Can't say very good ones. |
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BRENDA
Exactly. I blame the parents. |
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ALBERT
The real ones or those who speak
of hypothetical children? |
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They both look at one another for a second, then extend
hands to one another. |
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6.
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They shake hands, then go back to their semi-adversarial
roles. |
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ALBERT
There. Glad that won't be hanging
over our heads. |
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ALBERT
So, I must be going. |
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They start to walk away, then pause, turning. |
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They walk off in opposite directions. |
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FADE OUT. |
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Feedback |
From Grant Gelvin |
Date 12/9/2010 |
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No visuals, which could help with the set up greatly - where are they, what are they on their way to, are they in a hurry...
The dialogue is all there is and it's not nearly clever enough to carry the scene. It seems little more than an idea, here. |
From Bertrand Pare |
Date 10/26/2010 |
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Nice stylized dialog....
This is a reeeeeally long scene with no drama whatsoever. It reads like a writing exercise. |
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