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Abducted
by Cody (cvann5642@bvsd.org)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Action/Adventure   User Review: *


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



ABDUCTED

FADE IN:

EXT. CREEK - DAY
                                                            
A group of hikers have just been on the trail for a long day
and they are just arriving at camp and begin to set up a
lean to for a place to sleep. There are two other hikers
who are way behind Jenny and Steven.
                                                            
                       JENNY
Thank god we finally made it too
camp. 25 miles in one day is way
to much work. I am ready to get
my shoes off.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
I know what you mean. It was a
long day but at least there is
only one quarter day of hiking
more untill the trail is over
                                                            
                       STEVEN
What do you think about the two
people we found on the trail?
                                                            
Steven and Jenny look back at 2 hikers way behind.
                                                            
                       JENNY
I don't know if I should believe
their story, they were beaten and
robbed and dropped off in the
middle of the trail to die.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
It seems pretty convincing since
they were about to die when we
came upon them.
                                                            
                       JENNY
It was the right thing to do by
letting them follow us and let
them stay in camp with us.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
I just can't get the idea out of
my head that something is fishy.
                                                            
                       JENNY
You worry to much Steven.
                                                            

2.

                       STEVEN
I think it is good to be cautious.
                                                            
                                         CAMERA GOES TO
PEOPLE FOLLOWING
JENNY AND STEVEN
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
Do you think they believe we are
the victoms of robbery
                                                            
                       GAVIN
Yeah, they are falling for it. As
soon as they are seperated we will
abduct one of them and steal all
of their materials.
                                                            
Jenny and Steven finish setting up the tarp and then Steven
goes out of distance to go to the bathroom. When he comes
back all of his valuables and Jenny are gone.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Jenny where are you!?!?!
                                                            
Steven then finds a note on a stump that says We have taken
the girl and we will ransom her after we get back to town.
                                                            
Steven is an expert tracker and starts to track the
criminals and Jenny.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
I am an expert tracker so I will
find you Jenny
                                                            
 
EXT. IN OREST AND IN FIELD - DAY
                                                            
Show the robbers running away from Steven. Since Steven is
and exper tracker he first finds a broken stick. Then he
finds a footprint in some mud. The third clue is a bush that
is bent the wrong way.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
They were here less than 3 minutes
ago.
                                                            
Steven comes across the robbers and chases them down before
tackling Timothy.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Tell your friend to stop running.
                                                            

3.

                       TIMOTHY
No Gavin is going to put the girl
up for ransom.
                                                            
Gavin continues running with Jenny screaming.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Tell me where Gavin is taking
Jenny.
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
No. I will never tell you.
                                                            
Steven pulls out some rope and begins to tie Timothy's hands
together.
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
What are you doing?!?!?
                                                            
                       STEVEN
I have to get the information out
of you some way and I tried the
easy way but now I will have to do
it the hard way.
                                                            
Steven starts to punch Timoth in the stomach.
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
Alright enough I will tell you.
Gavin took the girl to the old
tire factory.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Where is the tire factory?
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
It is on the outskirts of town on
the edge of the forest.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
You better be telling me the truth
or you will regret it.
                                                            
Steven lets go of Timothy and starts running away but leaves
Timothy tied up.
                                                            
                       TIMOTHY
Wait, untie me.
                                                            
Steven continues running away ignoring Timothy request.
                                                            
 

4.

EXT. AT TIRE FACTORY - DAY
                                                            
Gavin has Jenny gaged and tied up at the tire factory. But
Gavin is there and he has a knife.
                                                            
Steven just arrives and sees Jenny tied up but Gavin is
standing between the two with his knife.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Let the girl go.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
The only way to get her is through
me.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
I guess I will just have to go
through you.
                                                            
Steven begins forward and begins to fight with Gavin. Gavin
first tries to stab Steven but Steven grabs Gavin's arm and
knocks the kinife away. They begin to fist fight. Steven
then knocks out Gavin with a haymaker. He then grabs the
knife and cuts the bounds holding Jenny's wrists.
                                                            
                       STEVEN
Thank God I got to you before
anything bad happened.
                                                            
Jenny tries to motion to steven with her eyes and grunts to
signal that someone is behind him because Gavin has gotten
up and is approaching Steven's back.
                                                            
Steven turns around just as a punch flies at his face from
Gavin. They fist fight for a little bit. But then Jenny
grabs the knife and goes to try help Steven out by stabbing
Timothy. She goes over but because of all the movement she
accidently stabs Steven in the chest.
                                                            
                       JENNY
Im so sorry Steven.
                                                            
Steven looks at his wound before falling down and dieing.
There is sobbing in the background.
                                                            
During this time Gavin re-restrains Jenny and then gets on
the phone.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
What is your families phone
number.
                                                            

5.

                       JENNY
It is 303-501-4024 they will give
you anything so I will be
released.
                                                            
Gavin gives the phone number a call.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
Who is this?
                                                            
                       MOM
This is Suzy.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
Are you related to Jenny because
if you are I have her hostage and
I will need 10,000 dollars for her
release.
                                                            
                       MOM
Yes I am her mom but I don't have
10,000 dollars.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
Things are not looking to good for
your daughter.
                                                            
Gavin hangs up phone.
                                                            
                       GAVIN
Your mom doesn't have the money
and I am not very pacient today.
                                                            
Gavin takes of his belt and from behind chokes Jenny.
                                                            
Gavin walks away from the scene of the crime calmly and
leaves.
3 camera shots show him walking away
                                                            


THE END


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From Robert Date 6/27/2011 *
Cody, you killed off your two main characters and let the bad guy win. Viewers don't like that. A downer ending makes it harder to sell your screenplay. I agree with Lycan, this needs a lot more work. Don't give up, keep at it!

From Lycan Davis Date 11/9/2010 1/2
Okay, how do I say this? You need better dialogue. The way it is right now, it is very unnatural. The pacing is bad, too. Take more pages and be much more descriptive (both with narrative and dialogue). Also, make sure that you consider the motivation of the characters for why they say what they do and why they do what they do. The idea is there, but it's not fleshed properly. Also, on page four, when did Timothy come in? Finally, you say that this is PG-13. I disagree and say that, with this subject matter, it would be R rated. Keep working on the natural flow and it should get better. It just needs a lot more work.


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