Screenwriter Community |
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by Luke Valle (rocker10541@yahoo.com)
Rated:
Genre: Comedy
User Review:
After a wild night of partying, Hannah has no idea what happened the night before and things point at the possibility that she might be pregnant.
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
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FADE IN:
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INT. JULIE'S ROOM - LEONELLI RESIDENCE - NIGHT |
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The room is dark. The door opens, JULIE enters with HANNAH
draped around her shoulders. HANNAH is not completely drunk,
but is still a little buzzed. JULIE turns on the lights and
brings HANNAH over to the bed. JULIE drops her on the bed
and brushes off her shoulder. |
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JULIE
Gross, now I'm all soaking wet.
What the hell did you do at that
party last night? |
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HANNAH
I don't know. I know I was doing
JELLO shots, then I joined a beer
chugging contest and now I'm
sitting on your bed, drunk as a
sailor. |
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JULIE
You're not drunk, you're buzzed. |
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HANNAH
I was drunk a minute ago. |
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JULIE
That's why I made you walk home,
you sobered up a little. You
should be glad Kate wasn't there,
she would've had a field day with
the weird things you did at that
party. |
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HANNAH
(giggling)
Yeah.
(seriously)
What did I do at the party? |
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JULIE
Words can't describe the things
you did at that party. |
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HANNAH
Give me an idea of what happened. |
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JULIE
Well, ya' know that big wooden
porch at Elle's house? |
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2.
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JULIE
Why are you soaking wet? |
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JULIE
Well, when you went for the JELLO
shots we got separated and I spent
twenty minutes searching for you.
I even had to talk to Carl. |
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HANNAH
Oh, ya' know what, I remember.
After my turn at the chugging
contest, I met this guy and we
walked around the property
together, to walk off all the
booze. Then, I think I laid down
in a puddle of beer flowing from
the keg and I went out like a
light. Then, I woke up and bumped
into you at the party later. |
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JULIE
You slept in a puddle of beer?
Well, it's better than passing out
in a gutter. |
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HANNAH gets up and stands in the middle of the room. JULIE
takes off her jacket and hangs it up on a hook behind her
door. HANNAH feels her butt, makes a disgusted face and
turns to JULIE. |
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HANNAH
Can I borrow a pair of pants or a
skirt or something? I'm soaked
here. |
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3.
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JULIE goes into her closet and pulls out a skirt. HANNAH
begins to unzip her jeans. |
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JULIE (cont'd)
Ya' know, considering how bad
things went, it could've been
worse. |
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JULIE hands HANNAH the skirt. |
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HANNAH pulls down her jeans revealing that she's wearing a
pair of men's boxer shorts. Her and JULIE stare at them for
a moment or two. HANNAH looks up at JULIE. |
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HANNAH (cont'd)
Oh, crap. |
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END OF COLD OPEN |
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FADE IN: |
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INT. LIVING ROOM - THOMPSON RESIDENCE - DAY |
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CHRIS, JOEL, and NICK sit on the couch watching TV. JULIE
enters. |
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JULIE
Chris, we need to talk. |
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JULIE
I can't say. But, first of all,
does anyone know Elle well? |
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JULIE
No, you idiot, Elle Carter. |
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4.
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JOEL
Yeah, I think her parents know my
parents. |
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CHRIS
What do you need to talk to her
about? |
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JULIE heads into the kitchen, pulling CHRIS in with her. |
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They disappear into the dining room. |
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JOEL
What do you think she needs to
talk about? |
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INT. KITCHEN |
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CHRIS and JULIE stand in the kitchen. |
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JULIE
It's Hannah. Ya' know that party
we went to last week at Elle's? |
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CHRIS
Yeah. What about it? |
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JULIE
Look, long story short I need to
Elle to tell me about any guys
that went to that party, because
Hannah might have spent the night
with one of them. |
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5.
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CHRIS
Oh. Hasn't she done that already? |
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JULIE
No, she refuses to do anything
with genitals. Anyway, I could
care less if she had sex with
someone, but being that something
has come up I think I should find
this guy and beat him senseless. |
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JULIE
She might be pregnant. |
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CHRIS
None of this is surprising me. |
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CHRIS
Wait, are you sure about this? |
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JULIE
Well, she came over to my house
from the party wearing men's
boxers and now she's a couple of
days late. |
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CHRIS
Have you told her parents? |
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CHRIS
Did she go to a doctor yet? |
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JULIE
No. We're not doing this well are
we? |
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CHRIS
Did you guys try a pregnancy test?
The kind you take at home. |
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JULIE
No. Man, we suck at this. |
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6.
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CHRIS
Well, maybe you should try that
before you tell a complete
stranger that he is possibly the
father of a bastard child. |
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JULIE
Just (don't tell Kate.) |
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KATE enters from the back door. |
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CHRIS
Why shouldn't I tell her? |
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JULIE
She'd make fun of Hannah, teasing
her about it. |
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KATE
Tease Hannah about what? |
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CHRIS
She's not that cruel. |
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KATE
What do you mean THAT cruel? I'm
not cruel. |
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KATE
(waving arms)
Hello! I'm here! I can hear you! |
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JULIE turns around and sees KATE. |
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CHRIS
Hannah may or may not've had sex
at Elle's party and may or may not
be pregnant. |
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7.
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Pause. |
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JULIE
That's why this happened. |
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KATE
Did you get a pregnancy test yet? |
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JULIE
Okay, let me just say that Hannah
and I aren't really doing this
well. We don't even know who the
father is. |
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CHRIS
Shouldn't you take a test first?
You could be worrying for nothing. |
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HANNAH enters from the dining room. |
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CHRIS and KATE stare at HANNAH for a moment. KATE is
smiling, enthusiastically. |
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HANNAH (cont'd)
Oh my god, Julie, can't you keep a
damn secret! |
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KATE
(giggling)
Why can't I stop smiling? |
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CHRIS
Look, Hannah, you don't even know
if you did anything, right? |
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HANNAH
Shut up! I'm fifteen with a very
active social life, I can't be
pregnant. |
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CHRIS
We don't even know for sure that
you are pregnant. |
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8.
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KATE
(laughing)
This is too perfect. |
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KATE
(calming down)
Okay, okay. You should take a
pregnancy test to make sure. |
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HANNAH
Can't I just drink a lot of bleach
and forget this ever happened. |
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KATE
Who raised you? Wolves? |
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CHRIS
Look, my dad's a gynecologist and
he has some pregnancy tests in his
office. |
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HANNAH
Okay, where do you keep your
bleach? |
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JULIE
Hannah, what the hell? |
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HANNAH
Look, I can't be pregnant. I'll
get sick every morning, I'll be a
real bitch to everyone. |
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KATE
So, aside form the morning
sickness, you'll still be the
same. |
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HANNAH
It's not just that, I'll get fat
and my boobs will get bigger and
I'll stop getting my period...
wait, how do I feel about this?
No, no, this is a bad thing. |
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JULIE
Hannah, just take the test. Maybe
your not pregnant. |
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9.
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HANNAH
Maybe. Fine, I'll do it. But, it
ends up positive, I go straight to
the bleach. |
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KATE
Don't they have clinics that do
that? |
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CHRIS
I don't think that insurance pays
for elective surgeries. |
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HANNAH
Surgeries have elections? |
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KATE
How did you ever make to the tenth
grade? |
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HANNAH
Ya' know what, I'm gonna go to my
house and get my own bleach, just
in case. |
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HANNAH exits into the dining room. The others follow. |
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INT. LIVING ROOM |
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HANNAH enters. JOEL and NICK are leaning near the entrance
to the dining room, obviously listening in on the
conversation. The others follow her still. JULIE gets ahead
of all of them and stops HANNAH. |
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HANNAH scoffs and turns to see JOEL and NICK leaning near
the kitchen. They wave awkwardly. |
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HANNAH
Oh, god! Now everyone knows. |
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KATE
Good news travels fast. |
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10.
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NICK
Hannah, I am so sorry... |
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JULIE
Chris, can you get one of your
dad's tests? |
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CHRIS walks over to the door to Mr. Thompson's office on the
other side of the room. He enters into the office. KATE sits
on the couch with JOEL and NICK. |
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KATE
Oh, I have to see this. |
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HANNAH
Look, I'm not gonna go to any
doctor about this. My mother knows
anyone with medical or law school
experience, so she'll find out if
I stub my toe, yet alone get
pregnant. |
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KATE
Yeah, and all the expecting
mothers will hate you. You'll be
the only one who can cross her
legs. |
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They all start laughing. HANNAH taps JULIE on the shoulder
and they all start calming down. |
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HANNAH
I don't wanna be pregnant. |
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KATE gets up and walks over to HANNAH. |
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KATE
Look, Hannah, I'm gonna tell you
what my mom told me about
childbirth when I was young. |
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KATE grabs a fist-full of HANNAH'S hair and yanks it hard. |
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11.
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CHRIS comes out with a pregnancy test box. He walks over to
where HANNAH and JULIE are standing. CHRIS hands HANNAH the
test. |
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HANNAH
How the hell do I work this thing? |
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CHRIS opens the box and takes out a tiny test tube and hands
it to HANNAH. She inspects it. |
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CHRIS
That's where the urine goes. |
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CHRIS pulls a cup and a pipette out of the box. |
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CHRIS
(holding up cup)
You go into this cup.
(holding up
pipette)
Then you use this to get it that
test tube. |
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HANNAH
What the hell happened to the
stick you'd pee on? |
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CHRIS
Doctors don't use those kind. |
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KATE
This just gets better and better. |
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END OF ACT ONE |
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12.
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FADE IN: |
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INT. LIVING ROOM - THOMPSON RESIDENCE - DAY |
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CHRIS, JOEL, KATE, and NICK sit around the room. JULIE paces
in the middle of the room. |
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JULIE
What's taking her so long? |
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KATE
I know. First she gets me all
excited about her possible
pregnancy, then she leaves me
hanging with all these slut jokes
and no one to throw them at. |
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KATE
Oh, c'mon, Chris, we all know she
would do this sooner or later. I
just wanna know why she didn't use
a condom. |
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JULIE
She didn't know it happened. If it
happened. |
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JOEL
(to Kate)
From what Nick and I heard from
the kitchen, Hannah doesn't know
who the father is. |
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KATE
Well, I guess they look alike to
her by now. |
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JULIE
Look, Kate, if you want to know
everything then you should know
that Hannah and I went to Elle
Carter's party, where she got
drunk and passed out in a beer
puddle. When I took her home, she
was wearing boxers under her
jeans. |
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13.
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KATE
Now it's not that funny. |
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NICK
Does she even know if she did
anything? |
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JULIE
She's completely clueless. |
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JULIE
Why do you have to keep making
jokes at a time like this? |
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KATE
Because if I don't then the
tension is gonna build in the room
and we're all gonna end up
sounding like an after-school
special. |
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HANNAH comes downstairs and enters the living room. Everyone
stares at her on edge waiting for her to make the big
announcement. She stares back at them. |
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JULIE
What "what"? Are you pregnant or
not? |
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HANNAH
Oh, no, it takes like five
minutes. |
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The other let out a sigh of relief. JULIE continues to pace.
HANNAH sits on a chair. |
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JOEL
Hannah, what are ya' gonna do if
you are pregnant? |
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HANNAH
Well, since I'm fifteen and have
no idea who the dad is... isn't it
obvious? |
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NICK
An abortion, I knew it. |
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14.
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JULIE
(to Hannah)
Are you sure? |
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CHRIS
I don't think insurance covers
that. |
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HANNAH reaches into her pocket an pulls out her wallet. |
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HANNAH (cont'd)
I keep my insurance card in my
wallet behind my student I.D.,
I'll call the number on the back
and ask. |
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HANNAH gets up and rushes into the kitchen. |
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CHRIS
Julie, what would you do if this
happened to us? |
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JULIE
I'm sorta old fashioned. I'd want
us to get married and start a
family. |
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KATE
I don't know what I'd do. Probably
what Hannah might do. God, those
words leave a bad taste in my
mouth. |
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NICK
I have no idea what I would do if
my girlfriend got pregnant. The
only thing I'm sure about is that
I'd have a heart-attack. |
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JOEL
I would let her make the decision.
And whatever decision she makes,
I'd support it. |
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KATE
Here we go... and now it's time
for today's after-school special. |
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15.
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JULIE
I wonder how she's gonna explain
this to her parents. Sneaking out,
getting drunk, having sex with a
stranger and now fifteen and
pregnant. |
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JOEL
I've met her parents. Her mom will
go to a bar and celebrate with
fifty cocktails and three
Puerto-rican pool boys and her dad
will kick her ass right out of the
house. |
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KATE gets up and heads for the kitchen. |
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KATE
I'm gonna get me a snack. You guys
what anything? |
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The others all MURMUR a chorus of ad-libbed "No"'s. KATE
exits into the dining room. |
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INT. KITCHEN |
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HANNAH sits at the counter crying into her hands. KATE
enters. HANNAH stops drying when she enters and starts
wiping her face with her sleeve. |
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HANNAH
Yeah... no, not at all. |
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HANNAH breaks down into crying and KATE walks over to her
and hugs HANNAH. They pull apart and KATE looks at HANNAH. |
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HANNAH
(crying)
No it's not! I'm fifteen and
pregnant. My parents are gonna
kick me out, I'll be an unwed teen
(MORE)
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16.
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HANNAH (cont'd)
mom on the streets. Like Precious. |
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KATE
Look on the bright side, you may
not be pregnant. You may still be
a virgin. |
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HANNAH
(still crying)
And what if I am pregnant? |
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KATE
Well, you can move in with me and
I'll take to the clinic if you
want an abortion. |
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HANNAH
Why are you being so nice to me? I
though you thought I was a dumb
slut. |
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KATE
I do, but what jack-ass would
ditch a friend in a situation like
this? |
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KATE pulls HANNAH as if to tell her to follow her into the
living room. HANNAH stays completely still. |
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HANNAH
No. I'm too embarrassed. Everyone
is waiting out there until it's
time to stare at a tube of my
urine and see if I am carrying a
bastard child of a strange man and
have lost my virginity in a beer
puddle in a drunken haze. |
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Pause. |
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KATE
Can I tell you something? |
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17.
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KATE sits next to HANNAH. |
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KATE
I was born on March third
nineteen-ninety-six, my parents
married on January first. |
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HANNAH
So you're parents married after
you were born. It's not uncommon.
Plus, I bet she wasn't fifteen. |
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KATE
She was nineteen. But, the human
brain isn't developed until you're
twenty-five, so, it still stands
to some extent. |
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KATE
She got through it, now she's a
very successful architect. |
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HANNAH
Didn't she get laid off last
month? |
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KATE
That's not the point. C'mon, I
think it's time for the huge
announcement. |
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The two get up and head for the dining room, but KATE stops
them before they exit the kitchen. |
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KATE
Weren't you gonna call your
insurance company to see if they'd
pay for your abortion? |
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18.
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HANNAH
I changed my mind. After all, I
may not even be pregnant |
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They exit. |
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INT. LIVING ROOM |
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The others are all as we left them. HANNAH and KATE enter
the room. JULIE stops pacing and stares at the two. |
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HANNAH
I'm gonna go look. |
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HANNAH starts to head for the stairs, but KATE stops her. |
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HANNAH pats KATE on the shoulder. KATE heads up the stairs.
CHRIS walks up to the stairs and talks to KATE from the
bottom of the stairs. |
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CHRIS
Okay, Kate, if it's white she's
not pregnant and if it's blue, she
is! |
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The whole gang gathers around CHRIS. |
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KATE (O.S.)
Which one means that she's not
pregnant?! |
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CHRIS
White means okay, blue means she's
screwed!
(to Hannah)
I'm sorry. |
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KATE (O.S.)
I got it! And... it's white! |
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19.
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KATE runs downstairs. |
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KATE (cont'd)
It's white.
(to Hannah)
You're good. |
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The whole gang starts cheering and hugging one another.
There is a knock at the door. CHRIS opens the door and ELLE
CARTER, same age, a pretty blonde girl, enters holding a
DVD. |
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CHRIS
Hi. What are you doing here? |
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ELLE
(holding up DVD)
I came to return the movie I
borrowed from you last Monday. |
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ELLE hands CHRIS the DVD. |
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ELLE walks over to HANNAH. |
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ELLE
Hey, Hannah. You still got the
boxers from the party? |
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ELLE
Don't you remember? At the party,
you beat the football team at the
beer chugging contest and James
gave you his boxers to make you an
honorary guy. |
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20.
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HANNAH
Oh! Those boxers. Who's James? |
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ELLE
James Keaton. He goes to the boy's
school in Danfield. He's the guy
you met at the party. You two
walked around the backyard until
you passed out for two hours. |
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ELLE heads for the door. |
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ELLE exits. |
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They all start cracking up into hysterical laughter. |
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HANNAH (cont'd)
(laughing)
Thank god. |
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KATE
Great, you're still a virgin. |
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JULIE
Let's go to Burger Town and
celebrate. |
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They all start heading for the door. |
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They all exit. |
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21.
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INT. BURGER TOWN - NIGHT |
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The diner is hopping with teenagers and music. The whole
gang enters. |
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HANNAH
I'll go order our food. |
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HANNAH walks over to the counter, but bumps into the guy
waiting on line in front of her. |
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HANNAH (cont'd)
Oh, sorry. |
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The guy turns to HANNAH. This is JAMES KEATON, 17, a young,
good-looking, dark haired young man with a boyish charm. |
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JAMES
Hey, Hannah. It's me James. We met
at the party last week. |
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The rest of the gang sit at a table. |
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KATE
(pointing at
Hannah)
Look, the slut ranger rides again. |
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JOEL
Didn't she just have a pregnancy
scare? |
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KATE
Well, she just fell of her horse
and now she needs to get back on.
And upstairs-insidies. |
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HANNAH and JAMES are in mid-conversation. |
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HANNAH
Yeah, I didn't know what happened
until ten minutes ago. |
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JAMES
Well, maybe we should talk about
it over some dinner tonight. What
do you say? |
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22.
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The employee behind the counter hands JAMES his food. He and
HANNAH walk to another table together. As they pass the
gang, KATE grabs HANNAH'S arm. |
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KATE
What about our food? |
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HANNAH
Get your own damn food, I have a
date tonight. |
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HANNAH breaks away from KATE'S grip and continues with JAMES
to an empty table. |
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KATE gets up and walks over to the counter. |
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THE END |
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