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THE BAIL OUT
by TYLER ROWLAND (TYLERKROWLAND@AOL.COM)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

Real life events. Told from a collaborative memory.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. SPORTS STADIUM - NIGHT
                                                            
Bumper to bumper traffic leaves the parking lot.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Led Zeppelin's Kashmir plays on the radio.
                                                            
                       PAT
I know it's on their fourth album.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Yeah, Led Zeppelin IV. I only
know that because it's referred to
on Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
It's when Damone explains his five
point plan to Rat. He tells Rat
that when it come to making out,
whenever possible, put on side one
of Led Zeppelin IV.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
He never mentions the actual name
of the song though?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Nope! Men have died trying to
obtain thsi valuable information.
                                                            
                       PAT
It's on the tip of my tongue. It's
killing me because I know it.
                                                            
                       JANE
We might have to wait for the
deejay to say the name.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Now the pressure's on to figure it
our before the song ends.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
They don't always give the name of
what was played. I hate that.
Especially when I am hearing
something new and want to find out
what I was just listening to.
Drives me crazy.
                                                            

2.

                       PAT
Epic instrumentals.
                                                            
Pat drums on the steering wheel.
                                                            
                       PAT
Deep lyrics too. Not just the
content, but Jimmy Page's voice is
mesmerizing.
                                                            
Music fades out.
                                                            
                       RADIO DJ
Thanks for tuning in tonight
folks. For those of you just now
joining us after the Chiefs game,
welcome. The last four block rock
set was Bob Seger- Turn the Page,
The Eagles Hotel California, The
Floyd with Welcome to the Machine,
and Led Zeppelin's greatest
make-out song according to Mike
Damone, Kashmir.
                                                            
Pat mutes the radio volume.
                                                            
                       PAT (LAUGHING)
OHHH!
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Geez!
                                                            
                       PAT
Well, I'm sure that we'll always
remember the name of it now.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Brad slouches in the driver's seat as he peers through the
steering wheel out the windshield.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Fuck!
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler and Barbara sleep. Tyler's phone, placed under his
pillow, begins to vibrate. He wakes up and pulls the phone
out from under his pillow. He looks to see the incoming
call id from Brad. He answers.
                                                            

3.

                       TYLER
What's the deal? Why you callin'
me at 1:30 in the morning. I just
passed out fucker.
                                                            
Tyler stops speaking and listens to Brad. Tyler sits up in
the bed. Barbara wakes up.
                                                            
                       BARBARA (SLEEPILY)
Is everything OK?
                                                            
Tyler holds his finger up to his lips.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Whoa! How did the cops get him?
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BRAD
Th-they g-ang tackled him
immediately after it happened and
somebody said to call the cops. I
got my ass out the side door. I
didn't want to get i-implicated. I
been watchin from my car for a
wh-bit now. C-ops showed up and
been takin' statements from
everybody. After a bit I went to
talk to them to find out where
they were bringin' Jake.
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
                       TYLER
Why did you willingly talk to the
cops if you didn't want to be
implicated?
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BRAD
You g-gotta come get me bro. I'm
drunk off my ass and paranoid now.
I just went to talk to the c-pigs
to find out where they were takin
Jake. I don't wanna be drivin
around shi-it faced tryin to find
the jail.
                                                            
 

4.

INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
                       TYLER
Good call, good call. Alright,
I'll be there in a bit.
                                                            
Tyler listens to Brad speak.
                                                            
                       TYLER
OK. See ya in a bit.
                                                            
Tyler gets out of bed and stretches.
                                                            
                       TYLER
OHHH! SHEE-IT! I was hopin to
get a full night's sleep.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What is it?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Jake's drunk ass got arrested over
in Leavenworth.
                                                            
Barbara sits up.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Evidently, according to Brad, he
was angry drunk and somebody was
pissing him off. Dude probably
had no idea though.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What all did Brad say?.
                                                            
                       TYLER (LAUGHING)
Brad just said that Jake said
somebody was staring at him wrong.
He was staring the guy down all
night just letting the anger
build. Finally, after about 4
pitchers, he told Brad he was
gonna hit the guy. Brad said that
Jake showed him a cue ball that
was in his palm. He gripped the
cue ball in a fist and walked over
to the guy and clobbered him. This
is where it gets funny. It was a
local's bar and everybody hopped
on Jake to hold him down.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Oh my gosh! Did they beat him up?
                                                            

5.

                       TYLER
No, no, no. Brad said they held
him down until the cops came.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What happened to Brad?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Said he got the hell out of there
as soon as the guys grabbed Jake.
Not like his fat ass had a chance
against anybody, let alone a large
group of people. He left through
a side door and went straight to
his car. He had already talked to
the cops before he called me.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What do we do? Get a bondsman?
                                                            
                       TYLER
No, Brad said that his bail is
$250. Not really enough to go to
the bondsman. I can spot him til
he pays me back, no problem.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Uggh! Jake!
                                                            
Barbara gets out of bed and stands up.
                                                            
                       TYLER
I know, I know. Ya never know
though, I might need the same from
him one day. Surprisingly, this
is the first time I've had to do
this. As many times as he's been
arrested… I've never seen it.
                                                            
They both dress and walk out of the bedroom, through a
hallway, and out the door.
                                                            
 
EXT. DRIVEWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
                       TYLER
Shit, it's a bit nipsky out here.
I'm gonna break out a hoodie. Come
on inside with me. I haven't worn
any long sleeves yet this year.
I'll have to find where I stashed
them. It might take a few.
                                                            

6.

Tyler and Barbara go inside.
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler opens the closet door and finds a gray hoodie hanging
on the back of the door.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Here it is!
                                                            
                       BARBARA
That was quick.
                                                            
                       TYLER
You never know. Coulda taken me
an hour.
                                                            
Tyler puts the hoodie on. He turns toward a mirror. He
cuffs the end of the sleeves, evens out the hood, and puts
his in the front pocket. A big smile appears on his face.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Haha, yeah!
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What?
                                                            
-Tyler pulls out a small plastic bag out of the pocket.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Totally forgot about this.
                                                            
Tyler hands the bag to Barbara.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Weed?
                                                            
                       TYLER
The chronic!
                                                            
Tyler grabs the bag from Barbara. He opens the seal, sticks
his nose into the bag, and takes a deep breath.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Ahh! Stashed this away after I
got back from Cali. Knew my sack
wasn't gonna last ferever, even
with my conservative smoking. Hid
this for a rainy day. Not exactly
raining out, but hey, whatever.
                                                            

7.

Tyler rummages through the closet. He turns around holding
a bright green pipe.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Remember when I got this at Family
Values.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Yeah! How can I forget? Korn
totally killed it.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Still haven't used it. Was just
waiting for the right moment.
                                                            
 
EXT. HIGHWAY - NIGHT
                                                            
A blue Volvo wagon drives over a bridge. The sign after the
bridge reads Welcome to Leavenworth Kansas.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler drives and Barbara sits in the passenger seat. The
windows are down and the wind drowns out most of the radio.
                                                            
                       TYLER (LAUGHING)
Huh-huh. Kasmir!
                                                            
                       BARBARA (DREARILY)
Huh?
                                                            
 
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler pulls into an almost deserted parking lot and right up
beside a Buick. Brad gets out the Buick and into the Volvo.
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BRAD
Fuckin crazy man!
                                                            
The car is silent except for the quiet lull of the radio.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You two s-stoned or just t-ired?
                                                            
Tyler and Barbara laugh.
                                                            

8.

                       BARBARA
A little from column A, a little
from colum B.
                                                            
 
EXT. JAIL - NIGHT
                                                            
The Volvo pulls into the empty parking lot and parks
crookedly in a marked stall.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Hopefully this doesn't take too
long.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm stayin' in here. I've already
seen enough p-igs tonight.
                                                            
 
INT. JAIL - NIGHT
                                                            
As Tyler and Barbara enter a small room, the door shuts and
locks behind them. The room contains a teller window and
two plastic chairs.
                                                            
                       TYLER
What the hell? Come in to bail
somebody out and they lock us in?
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Calm down.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Oh, and what accommodations!
                                                            
Tyler points to the ground. A cockroach runs along the
corner of the floor and wall.
                                                            
                       BARBARA
Freaking disgusting.
                                                            
They peer through a window and see a teller appear.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Let's pay this and get outta here!
                                                            
Tyler pays the teller and she hands him a receipt. She
buzzes the door open. Tyler and Barbara walk out.
                                                            
 

9.

EXT. JAIL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler and Barbara walk through the parking lot toward the
car.
                                                            
                       TYLER (SMILING)
Watch this.
                                                            
Tyler knocks on the back window of the car where Brad rests
his head. Brad sits up.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Roll the window down.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's the deal? Get him sprung
or not?
                                                            
                       TYLER
No, not yet. They said that they
need to talk to you again.
                                                            
                       BRAD (ANGRILY)
WHAT! What for?
                                                            
                       TYLER (LAUGHING)
I'm just fuckin' with you man. Too
easy!
                                                            
 
INT. CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       BARBARA
What's taking so long?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Cops, that's what.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Yup, you know they take their
sweet ass time with everything
they do.
                                                            
Tyler looks into the rearview mirror and sees Jake walking
toward the car.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Here comes the dirty lesbian.
                                                            
The back passenger door opens and Jake enters the vehicle.
                                                            
                       JAKE
Can't hold me!
                                                            

10.

                       BRAD
Unless it's that group of guys
from the bar earlier that held you
down until the cops showed up.
                                                            
                       JAKE
Fuck you Brad.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Give us the run down Jake.
                                                            
                       JAKE
I'm sure Brad told you the jest of
it.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Yeah, but it's always better from
the horse's mouth.
                                                            
                       JAKE
I gave the guy a flying cue ball
uppercut. Then his boys tackled
me. Fuckin' pussies shoulda beat
my ass. Didn't hit me once.
Thanks for bailin me out T.
                                                            
                       TYLER
No prob. Worked out good for me.
Gettin ready to come over here I
found a nice chronic nug in my
hoodie pocket.
                                                            
                       JAKE
Sweet. Light it up!
                                                            
                       TYLER
Nah, left it at home. I hate even
coming over to Leavenworth, let
alone riding dirty. Don't wanna
end up in their jail now do I?
                                                            
Tyler laughs.
                                                            
 
EXT. JAIL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
The Volvo backs out of the parking space and pulls forward
out of the parking lot. It turns right out of the parking
lot. They drive out of sight of the jail.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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