Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Pimp Nasty
by Josh Rezvani (joshrezvani@gmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Teen Movies   User Review:

Beverly Hills High School seniors throwing a huge graduation party until a bunch of "Bromen", a notorious, Iranian gang, comes in and crashes the fun.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


It looks like a quiet, beautiful night in Beverly Hills.
Civic Center looks empty with dim lights, businesses in
Beverly Hills are closed and it seems to be empty and
deserted in "The Flats".
One house in particular looks like an active fraternity
house. There are extremely elegant cars parked everywhere.
Outside, there are teenage girls wearing black dresses, high
heels and carrying around Four Loko's and cigarettes. There
are guys outside with colorful, American Apparel jackets,
blue or black jeans, and a printed, COLORED shirt.
A skinny teenager wearing a large, printed t-shirt and
skinny, red jeans is walking out of the party intoxicated
and nauseous. He is hardly walking forward and trips onto
the ground. The skinny, drunk teenager starts throwing up
and his face is CHERRY RED.
                       DRUNK BOY
Oh my God!
There are a lot of teenagers hooking up, drinking alcohol
out of RED cups, and smoking marijuana out of pipes and
bongs. One guy attempts to take a drunk girl upstairs with
There is a HUGE sign in the living room that says: SLUTFEST.
There are half-naked girls grinding, guys stalking and the
DJ has a cigarette in his mouth. The DJ is playing "Up All
Night" by Drake. The living room is packed, dark and the
television screen is showing hardcore, explicit pornography.


There are two tables where teenagers are playing flip cup
and beer pong. There is also a beer keg inside the kitchen
where a girl is lifted up by jocks as she is chugging down
Outside, there is an extremely larger sign that says: I
DUCKING LOVE FUCKSTEP! There is a steaming pool filled with
beautiful girls and large, muscular guys and there is an
overwhelming amount of baked, half-naked girls and guys in
the middle of the backyard.
On the roof, there is a DJ with a cigarette in his mouth
playing "I Can't Stop" by Flux Pavilion. There are a lot of
people putting their hands in the air. They look steadily
and intensely at the DJ. When the drop hits, a teenager runs
from the roof and jumps into the pool. The whole crowd
starts going crazy. The crowd starts dancing as if they were
possessed by the devil.
Girls popping pills, there are creepy guys putting their
WHOLE mouth on the girl's mouth as they are grinding on each
other. When the second drop hits, another teenager FLIPS
into the pool. There are teenagers going crazy, crowd
surfing, putting girls above their shoulders, etc.
                                         END OF MONTAGE:
AUSTIN, a massive, tanned teenage bodybuilder is sitting
with his cousin REZ. Rez is a skinny, buzzed-head teenager
with scruff. Austin is grinding the weed into the joint.
AUSTIN is wearing his black ray bans, lacrosse shorts, and
USC tank-top. REZ is wearing jeans and a rather large white,
v-neck. REZ seems like the more sensitive type when AUSTIN
is the douchebag, heavy-headed human being.
I can't believe you made me come
to your room to smoke with you.


I want to smoke now. I like to get
high and swim because it makes me
feel like a fish.
Everybody downstairs is thinking
that we're having gay anal sex
right now.
Because you wanted to smoke
You dragged me into your room as
if I was a fuckin' drunk fourteen
year old.
Fuck the haters.
How is this going to be any
Yeah. But not this.
What do you mean?
According to my dealer, who is one
of the greatest dealers in Los
Angeles hands down, he said that
this blunt will get you higher
than a giraffe's vagina.
Your weed salsa changed my life.
I totally deserved a Nobel Peace
Prize for that.
Who's your dealer?
This fat, Jewish, redhead kid,
Paul Rosen.


I know him. Fat kid with the
Yeah. How do you know him?
Albany Burgers.
That burger joint in Los Feliz?
Yeah. That's where he got his club
card and fake I.D. He said he
bought it for thirty bucks.
Yeah. What the fuck? I didn't know
how he did it, but he's bringing
alcohol and his hookah. We're
going to get fucked up and high at
the same time.
But will the weed burn out
No, dude. I've tried it before.
We're going to get so fucked up
Austin stops grinding for a second and points at Rez with
his grimy, marijuana-infested finger.
Listen, I'm going to get myself a
freshman tonight. Okay? Once we
smoke this...
Austin points at the weed.
Our blood is going to stimulate
inside our male genitals. Okay?
We're going to be REALLY horny
tonight. No joke.
You literally created a rave.


I created a slutfest. My dick's a
fucking magnet to these whores!
God help these girls.
Those girls downstairs are like
Bambi stuck in Iraq.
PAUL, a sweaty, OVERWEIGHT, redhead teenager wearing a red
buttoned down t-shirt and skinny, beige pants opens the door
holding a bag of alcohol and hookah pieces.
What's up niggaz!?
PAUL talks in a slow, mellow way and has a weird, unknown
accent somewhere between British and Australian, but not
exactly British and Australian, it's like between it.
Austin stands up and walks over to Paul. He takes Paul's bag
of alcohol and hookah pieces. Austin is looking through the
alcohol bag and only sees CHEAP liquor.
Do you have a bathroom, Austin?
Paul really needs to take a dump. He is sweating and wet.
Show me your I.D.
But I need to take a shit!
Show me your I.D.!
Paul takes out his wallet and pulls out his unusual I.D.
I really need to shit. I have a
baby inside me!
Yes dude! Go! My bathroom is over
Austin points at his bathroom while holding Paul's fake I.D.


The CAMERA focuses closely on Paul's fake I.D. The I.D. is
from Mexico, Paul isn't smiling; he seems very, very
confused and looks slightly intoxicated. There is a white
mark on his brown t-shirt and the name on his fake I.D. says
Paul Rosen.
Hey fat ass, are you trying to
make this as a joke?
All Austin hears inside the bathroom is moaning and
groaning. It seems as if Paul is literally giving birth.
Austin walks to his bathroom and opens the door. PAUL is
naked as he is taking a dump and sweating immensely.
Oh God! Why are your clothes off?
It helps me focus.
Why do you have a white mark on
your shirt?
I got shat on by a bird.
Paul, why don't you take a serious
picture? You look like an albino
Biggie Smalls.
Listen man. I actually bought
alcohol with that I.D.
Austin throws the receipt on the bathroom floor.
Yeah! By Marco! A fucking 8-year
old can buy himself Jack Whiskey
without being asked for his I.D.
there! And why the fuck did you
buy Swedish vodka! Why can't you
buy something stronger?
Hey dipshit. It was eighty
dollars. What I got was fifteen. I
was going to ask you to pay up,


                       PAUL (cont'd)
but being the sincere person I am,
I did not ask for shit! So Fuck
Fuck you!
No! No, no. Fuck YOU!
Austin covers his nose with his t-shirt and walks to the
bathroom quickly. He takes the toilet paper away from Paul
and smacks him behind his head.
Hurry up!
How the fuck am I going to wipe
Austin slams the bathroom door HARD and LOUD.
Rez is lying down quietly.
Why are you so quiet?
I'm just thinking.
Thinking about what?
Should we call Tyler to come here
Where is he?
Austin pulls out a cigarette and puts it in his mouth. He
offers one to Rez. Rez rejects.
No thanks.
Austin lights up his cigarette.


Motherfucker's pretty retarded,
you know?
He's just been through a pretty
bad breakup. His girlfriend
cheated on him.
Austin picks up the two plastic bags: alcohol bag and the
hookah bag. Austin takes out the alcohol bag and places the
liquor right next to Rez.
I mean. He's pretty, motherfuckin'
retarded. Who the fuck let's his
girlfriend cheat on him?
Motherfucker needs to learn that
he needs to smack that bitch in
the fucking face. He's just a
pussy. It isn't bad being a pussy.
But if I had a girlfriend, God
forbid, and she cheated on me,
then I'll rip her fucking vagina
with my dick. It's that simple.
Call him after we smoke tonight.
I'm not waiting for that faggot to
come after work. Fuck that.
The bathroom door opens and Paul is putting his belt on.
AUSTIN and REZ are looking at Paul with confusion.
How did you wipe your ass?
Paul sits with Austin and Rez. Paul gives a loud, obnoxious
Rez takes out aluminum foil, a toothpick, a water bottle and
all the hookah pieces. Rez is setting up the hookah quickly.
I didn't. There is still wet,
hairy shit inside me. I can get
your little sister to lick it
clean for me.
Did you even wash your hands?


No, but I'm going to make your
sister scream so much that I
wouldn't know if my name was Paul
or God.
My sister's fifteen, you creep.
If I told you that I masturbated
on your sister's Facebook page,
will you still hate me?
Austin looks at Paul with disbelief and loss of words.
I masturbated to your sister
before I came here.
It is completely dark inside Paul's trunk. Paul has pictures
saved onto his computer of Austin's sister, SARAH, a
beautiful, big-breasted, skinny fifteen-year old. The light
is shining on Paul's freckled face. He is moaning lightly
and when he's finished, he starts putting his pants on. He
closes the computer and opens up the trunk.
Holy shit! Were you kidnapped,
When Paul opens the trunk of his car and leaves, there are
people walking around and chilling right next to his car. It
seems that Paul escaped as a kidnapped victim.
You have saved photos of my
Okay. I can see that you're upset
and it's completely normal. I'll
delete them once I'm home.


That's right. You better delete
Rez enters in with a pan of burning coals. There is a towel
right near the hookah and Rez places the pan on the towel.
What are we smoking?
The Original. It's good.
Don't worry Rez. You'll like it.
It won't be like the time at
Nothing too serious?
What happened at Dakota's?
      (answers Rez)
Don't worry.
      (answers Paul)
He just went through a really,
really bad trip.
Paul moves closer to Austin. He wants to hear the story of
Rez's bad trip.
What happened?
I don't want to talk about it.
I'll tell you. After school, Rez
and I went to Dakota's. I mean if
he missed school and lacrosse
practice, then that means
something amazing happened.
Austin and Rez are outside of Dakota's apartment. They ring
the door bell and Dakota opens it right away. DAKOTA looks
like a stoned-out white boy clueless and oblivious.


Do you guys know what day it is?
Bro, we just had school. Where the
fuck were you?
Dakota looks a slightly paranoid.
Come inside.
Inside Dakota's room, there are posters of Radiohead, a
movie poster of "A Gentlemen's Agreement" and a poster of
Kramer from "Seinfeld". There are lacrosse sticks,
already-eaten sunflower seeds, stuff like that. His room is
dirty and messy. Dakota, Austin, and Rez are sitting on a
broken-down couch.
I bought these two blunts this
morning from Sanchez Gomez.
Dakota takes out two, brown bluts and shows it to Austin and
Rez up close. Austin and Rez look shocked and enraptured.
Shut the fuck up.
Who's Sanchez Gomez?
The one and only. But that
motherfucker is expensive! I
bought these two for fucking $270!
$135 each!
What the fuck! Why did you buy it?
Cuz I smoked with Sanchez Gomez at
his crib earlier today, you see.
After having Indian food with


Wait, don't you hate Indian food?
I'm not finished. You see. These
blunts are called 'The Holocaust'.
They'll put you in a deep sleep,
give you a psychedelic vacation
and shit like that. BUT what it's
famous for is that it is capable
of putting you in starvation in
less than a minute.
      (laughs slightly)
That's crazy.
Dakota is attempting to put the blunt inside Austin's mouth.
Put this in your mouth.
I'm not smoking. I drove here. I'm
not smoking and driving. Give it
to Rez.
Yeah. I can't stand eating my
mom's cooking tonight. Is this
going to help my munchies?
Bro. Shut the fuck up. Put this in
your mouth.
Austin gets up from the couch.
Wait. Dakota, can I park outside?
How long do I have?
Move your car before you get a
ticket. You have to park far. Park
on Hauser.


Austin heads to the door.
Okay. I'll be back.
Austin leaves. Dakota gets up and heads to his desk.
Put the blunt in your mouth. I'm
looking for my lighter.
Dakota is looking for his lighter.
Dude. There's a lighter right
Oh. Okay. Cool. You want me to
light it up for you?
No, it's cool. Is it okay I can
smoke it out of a pipe or
something? I don't think I'm
capable of smoking a joint.
It's like smoking a cigarette.
I don't smoke cigs.
Not even when you're drunk?
I don't smoke cigs at all. Get me
a pipe, please.
Alright. I'll get a pipe for you.
I'll just save some for tonight. I
was going to smoke with you, but


Dude. I don't want to go too
crazy. I'll just take a hit or
Two hits and you'll end up like a
dying fish.
Dakota walks to his desk and gets his pipe. He hands it to
Gimmie' the joint.
Rez hands Dakota the joint.
Dakota is pouring the weed from the joint into the pipe.
No problem. I'm going to take a
      (points at his
Music's over there. And if you're
too lazy to open the door. No
worries. I unlocked the door so
Austin can come in easily.
Okay. Cool. Cool.
Dakota walks to his closet and picks up jeans, a t-shirt, a
buttoned down and briefs.
      (looking for
If I may recommend on music when
you're high. You want mellow
music. Jimi Hendrix, Bob
Dylan...you know. You don't want
to listen to Skrillex or L.A.
Riots. You'll flip out.
Rez lights up the pipe. Dakota walks to the bathroom.
Remember to take one hit only.


Rez nods his head. Rez is holding the smoke in.
Okay. See you in a bit.
Rez gives Dakota a "thumbs up". When Dakota's in the
bathroom, Rez takes one more quick hit and holds it in
TIGHTLY. He starts coughing excessively, he puts the pipe
down. His face turns CHERRY RED. He is holding his mouth. He
is drooling out sticky saliva from his mouth. He is coughing
out saliva and his nose is slobbering as well. Rez sits
comfortably on the couch. Rez looks at the Kramer poster
across from him. It takes a second or two for him to indulge
the picture and for him to laugh at it extremely.
Dakota is taking a hot, steaming shower. He seems
Rez turns on the boombox and Jimi Hendrix's "Stone Free" is
on. Rez relaxes on the couch as if nothing is going on. His
eyes are BLOOD-SHOT red; he can't move his body at all. Rez
is just lying there. LOUIS GRIFFIN pops up randomly.
                       LOUIS GRIFFIN
Rez! What Happened to you!
Rez looks at his right and STEWIE GRIFFIN is sitting on the
couch with him.
                       STEWIE GRIFFIN
He can't answer you. He can't even
talk. Ever since he started
smoking pot, he just kinda lays
there. It's really sad and a
tidy-bit funny.
Oh my God! I think I'm geting a
contact high!
Stewie, then, deflates his whole body
                       STEWIE GRIFFIN
Oh. Now, I'm messed up too.
Rez, then, looks at his left side and it's Steve Carrell
eating a bucket of chicken.


                       STEVE CARRELL
Hello. You must be hungry. Too bad
you can't have any of my pieces of
      (laughs; stuffs
       chicken in his
They're too delicious!
                       AUNT JEMIMA
Would you like pure maple syrup
with your chicken, Mister?
                       STEVE CARRELL
Oh God! Yes! Thank you!
Rez gets up from the couch.
      (to himself)
What the fuck did I smoke?
Rez walks to the little refrigerator. He opens it up and
finds that there isn't any food.
      (having trouble
Dakota. I'm hungry.
Rez is sweating and opens the bathroom door. Rez can barely
walk so he starts crawling and witnesses a BEAUTIFUL box of
Snickers right across from him. He starts to crawl like a
baby with his tongue out. Then, Rez finds a whole box of
unwrapped snickers. He puts one in his mouth, but a
caramel-like red liquid is falling from his mouth.
Dakota opens the shower curtains to see what's going on.
Rez! What the fuck are you doing?!
REZ is stuffing wet, bloody tampons in his mouth.
I'm fucking eating food! There
isn't any food in the
refrigerator! Why don't you buy
yourself some fucking Saffron or


                       REZ (cont'd)
Panda Express!
Rez looks down and sees that he is stuffing tampons in his
Dude! You're putting my sister's
tampons inside your mouth!
Rez starts to realize and starts to scream. He quickly puts
away the tampons in a corner and his mouth is foaming with
an overwhelming amount of blood.
Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Why did you put my sister's
tampons in your mouth?!
I thought I was eating Snickers!
Why would I have Snickers in my
I don't know man!
Go clean your mouth up dude!
Rez looks all around and finds a toilet sitting right behind
him. He starts washing his mouth with Dakota's dirty,
urinated toilet water.
I just took a shit in the toilet a
minute ago!
Rez has gallons of urinated, toilet water in his mouth and
he tries to speak.
Don't you FUCKING flush!?
Why didn't you use the sink Rez!?
Come here right now! Come here!


Rez starts to cry and crawl towards Dakota. Dakota picks him
up and puts him in the bathtub. He starts cleaning Rez's
mouth with the water, but it seems like Dakota is having
anal sex with Rez.
I'm here for you brother! I'm here
for you!
Rez's face is BLACKED OUT; Rez's face seems like he's been
possessed by the devil. His eyes are rolled back and his
tongue is sticking out.
Austin opens the bathroom door and is stunned at what he's
What the hell?!
Dakota is literally grinding on Rez's ass as he is putting
water on Rez's bloody and poop-covered mouth. Dakota's
fingers are inside Rez's mouth. It looks very dirty and
Rez is trying to speak to Austin has water and drool is
coming out from his nose and mouth.
      (trying to speak)
Scene fades back in with the hookah being set up and ready
to smoke out of. There is a half empty vodka bottle right
next to the hookah set.
Are you sure alcohol and weed
won't fuck me up or anything,
No. It won't fuck you up or
anything. Rez, relax. You need to
calm down. You're always so gitty,
scared and shit. Just, breathe.
Austin takes a HUGE inhale.


Breathe all the negative energy
out of your body...away.
Austin gives "all the bad energy" the finger.
Who's taking the first hit?
I am.
Yeah. Let Rez take it. Let's see
if he can handle it.
Austin hands Rez the pipe.
Here you go, Rez. Just smoke away
all your problems.
You don't have herpes or anything?
Like STDs or anything, right?
There is a brief awkwardness between Paul and Rez.
I just want to make sure. Like if
I have sex with my wife, I don't
want my kids to have herpes. I
just. I just don't want to get any
Shut up.


I don't know if I should. Can I at
least know what I'm smoking before
I smoke it?
Dude. Why do you want to know the
origin of your weed? Weed is weed!
This isn't Super Size Me! This
isn't Food Inc!
Fine. I'll be honest. I don't
trust Paul.
Which Paul?
What the- What the fuck did I do?
How would I know that you didn't
lace this weed with cocaine or
angel dust or something?
Wha-Wha-What did I do? Wha-Wha!?
As Rez is talking, Paul is mumbling and confused.
You're crazy man! I know you! I
know you! I know you would snort
coke and shit! You're a dumbass,
man! You're a dumbass!
Again, Rez is yelling at Paul. Paul is mumbling words and
all we could hear in the end is "John Lennon".
Wha-Wha-Wha-What did I?
Wha-Wha-What? John Lennon?
Rez! Rez! Relax man! Relax.
Rez takes a deep breather.


Shit. Dude, you're already
paranoid. Look at Paul.
PAUL looks sad, but not tearful. He seems very confused, but
extremely scared and gloomy.
You're scaring him. Look at him.
PAUL starts to whimper, almost shedding tears; looking at
Rez with confusion and anxiety.
He's like a curious puppy. He
likes you. He wouldn't want to
harm you.
CAMERA goes back to PAUL nodding his head.
Rez. You watch too many Judd
Apatow movies. This isn't a
Jeffery from Get Him To The Greek
and this isn't like Pineapple
Express...Remember that Pineapple
Express we smoked one time
together? Remember?
And did we cough as much as Seth
Rogan and James Franco in the
Pineapple Express movie?
No. We did not.
So when I'm telling you to trust
me. I'm your cousin and your best
friend. Do you trust me when I say
that NOTHING is going to happen to
That's the spirit. Now take the
first hit. Slow and smooth though.


Rez takes a breather. Then, he takes the first hit slowly
and steadily.
                                         BLACK OUT
Rez starts coughing excessively.
                                         CUT TO:
" Pimp Nasty "
Austin, Rez, and Paul are sitting in a small circle. Austin
is smoking the hookah and his face is drowsy and STRAWBERRY
RED. He starts puffing out O's and starts laughing.
Paul is laughing along with Austin and makes his put the
pipe up his ass so he can smoke it and get more wasted
quickly. PAUL bends over and pulls down his pants. Austin
and Rez are laughing hysterically and uncontrollably. Austin
sticks the pipe in Paul's ass and they're all dying of
laughter and Paul is sucking all the air from the pipe into
his ass and blowing the smoke out of his nose and mouth.
Paul laughs, but then he starts to cough and vomit all over
Austin's floor.
Austin and Paul are taking shots together with people
crowding around them. There are four shots of vodka in a
table. AUSTIN and PAUL are taking shots quickly and
irresponsibly. The last shot, Paul decks Austin in the nuts
and Austin cannot finish his last shot. Paul celebrates in
victory, but Austin vomits all over Paul causing Paul to
fall down miserably and embarrassingly. Austin smiles and
feels satisfied.
AUSTIN and REZ are on their knees chugging on a sombrero
full of BLUE Slurpee. The Slurpee bottles are right next to
the sombreros. PAUL is pouring down vodka on AUSTIN'S head
and pouring down GIN down REZ'S head. Rez and Austin are
chugging down the slurpees and getting smashed at the same


As AUSTIN and REZ finish chugging down the slurpee, they
both pass out on the floor holding their heads in pain and
agony. They look at each other, smile, and attempt to give
each other high fives.
TYLER, a mild-mannered, broken-hearted, depressed teenager
is preparing to close the store in a matter of minutes. He
looks at a photo of him and his girlfriend at the Dodgers
game. The phone rings and Tyler quickly runs and picks it
Tyler tries to hold back his tears.
Thank you for calling Pinkberry!
My name is Tyler. How may I help
Austin is on the jacuzzi with Rez, a passed-out Paul, and
beautiful girls crowded around them.
Hey faggot. What are you doing
Tyler walks to the kitchen.
I'm working. I'm closing in a bit.
Are you coming over tonight?
Probably not. I've been tired as
hell. I don't feel like partying
at all.


You don't have to party. We'll
just take shrooms and you'll sleep
I don't think I'll be down to
hallucinate tonight.
We'll be baked, man! Come on! It's
a lot of fun!
I don't know dude. I just went
through a terrible breakup and
it's just that I can't really go
out tonight. I'm sorry.
Are you seriously not coming over?
Especially seeing all your friends
before they head to college? Are
you seriously not coming to my
graduation party? Are you
seriously being a selfish prick
right now? I swear to God if you
don't show up to my party and eat
Paul's brownies, then I'm going to
fucking kill you. I'm going to get
a gun and shoot you in the face.
Not once because you'll survive.
But twice in the fucking head and
you'll die.
Austin pauses for a quick second.


Okay. I won't kill you, but if you
don't come to my party, I'll be
very upset. I'm looking forward
seeing you tonight. Don't piss me
Fine. I'll come. Besides, I want
to talk to you what happened
tonight. I met a producer. He
wants me to do a remake of
"American Graffiti".
Wasn't that a really famous movie
back in the seventies or
It's a classic. I don't know if I
should star in my first film that
has the potential to end up as a
box office flop.
Yeah. You don't want that. Come
over and we'll figure it out.
We'll solve your dilemma after we
have Paul's kosher, mint-chocolate
weed brownies.
That sounds so good right now.
A customer walks into the store. THE CUSTOMER looks like a
fat nerd always on his phone for no apparent reason; uses
his phone to seem busy all the time when he's not.


Fuck. Let me call you back. I have
a customer to take care of. I'll
call you back in a second.
Alright, see you.
Tyler walks over to the customer. The customer seems bored
and tired.
Hi! Welcome to Pinkberry. My name
is Tyler and is this your first
time here today?
                       THE CUSTOMER
No. Can I have the small original?
Tyler goes and prepares for the small original.
                       THE CUSTOMER
Can I have a sample of the
Yeah sure.
Tyler goes and makes a chocolate sample for the customer.
Tyler hands the sample to the customer.
Here you go.
                       THE CUSTOMER
Tyler swirls a small original for the customer.
                       THE CUSTOMER
For my toppings. I want the
chocolate chips, organic bears,
and the chocolate balls.
The dark chocolate crisp-
                       THE CUSTOMER
Yeah. Whatever. Give me those.


Tyler is pouring the chocolate chips on the small yogurt.
The customer is focused on his phone. Tyler goes on to the
next item: the organic fruity bears.
                       THE CUSTOMER
Wait? Is that all I get for three
fifty? Are you serious?
I'm sorry, sir. I'll fill em up.
                       THE CUSTOMER
Tyler is filling up the cup with chocolate chips
                       THE CUSTOMER
That's too much now! My God! Do
you know when's too much and too
little! Just give me the fruity
bears and the crisp things.
Tyler is slightly anxious.
I'm sorry, sir.
                       THE CUSTOMER
And why are you crying!? Your
tears are hitting my yogurt!
I'm sorry sir. I'll make a new
Tyler throws away the small original in the trash. Tyler
swirls a new small original for the customer.
                       THE CUSTOMER
Chocolate chips. Don't fill it up
like last time...
I'll even it out. Sorry about
Tyler starts pouring the chocolate chips, the organic bears
and the chocolate crisps.
Would you like a lid?


                       THE CUSTOMER
No, I'll like to eat it here.
Tyler hands the yogurt to the customer.
                       THE CUSTOMER
What's the damage?
Tyler checks the cost of the small original in the POS
Your total will be $3.82. Would
you like a loyalty card?
The customer seems that something is wrong. He checks the
menu and sees that the small original with toppings is
                       THE CUSTOMER
Isn't it $3.50? I come to
Pinkberry all the time and I
always pay $3.50, not $3.82.
Tax is included if you're eating
                       THE CUSTOMER
Okay. I'll like it to-go then.
Okay. Would you like a bag or-?
                       THE CUSTOMER
Do I have to pay $3.50 or not?
Yes. $3.50 please.
The customer hands Tyler three one-dollar bills and two
                       THE CUSTOMER
Here. Keep the receipt and keep
the change.


Okay. Um- thanks? Have a nice
The customer walks over to the table and puts his yogurt
down. He sits comfortably and starts focusing on his phone.
The customer is eating his yogurt slowly. Tyler looks at him
with frustration.
      (to himself)
You have to be kidding me.
Paul is sitting on a table eating his last burrito. There
are bean marks on his chin. There are piles of aluminum foil
that looks like Paul has finished more than one burrito.
A skinny teenager wearing yellow skinny jeans, a purple
Lakers t-shirt and an all-white N.Y. Yankees hat. The skinny
teenager is walking by himself near Paul and he is
fascinated by all the burritos Paul has eaten.
      (to Paul)
Holy shit! You're so faded!
Paul's eyes are nearly closed, zoned out, and crusty. There
are black bags underneath.
      (imitating the
Oh shit! I'm so faded! Oh shit!
Paul gets up quickly and attempts to kick the teenager.
Get the fuck outta here!
The teenager is walking away.
What the fuck man!


Paul is starting to have a mumble in his stomach, but he
ignores it.
Paul walks around the rave scene. He is trying to move past
these people. His stomach is mumbling once more. Paul is
holding his stomach in pain.
      (in agony)
Ah shit.
Paul is trying to walk into the house, but it's too crowded.
Paul spots Austin drying up and talking to girls in his
patio. Paul, then walks towards Austin.
      (to Austin)
Dude. Dude.
Austin is being distracted by Paul's presence. He tells the
girl to "wait a minute".
What do you want? I'm talking.
Do you have like Pepto Bismol or
What? No, I don't! Why?
My stomach hates me!
Paul's stomach is rumbling very loudly.
Do you have to go to the bathroom?


There's a bathroom in my kitchen.
Paul's stomach made a thunderous, loud growl.
Go dude!
Paul is holding his stomach and he is walking as quickly as
possible to the bathroom.
Paul is walking down Austin's kitchen holding his stomach.
He sees a bathroom door closed sightly. Paul can see the
light shimmer in his eyes. It looks like HEAVEN to Paul.
Ah, shit.
Paul opens the bathroom door and sees a girl inside throwing
up and her best friend taking care of her.
                       TEENAGE GIRL
Hey! Get out!
Paul heads back to the direction of the rave scene. The DJ
plays "Big Boss" by Doctor P and the crowd is literally
going NUTS. The crowd is yelling, shouting, hollering in
Paul is trying to move through the TUMULTUOUS and INSANE
crowd. The crowd is jumping up and down, they are moving
back and forth; like a mosh pit causing Paul to move back
and forth and making him nauseous.
Paul is finally away from the HUGE crowd and sees a little
corner of Austin's backyard to take a dump. It's isolated
from the whole party.


Paul is trying to run, but his pants is letting go fumes of
wet poop. His pants are literally turning brown and the poop
is running down on the side of Paul's leg.
Ah shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!
Paul rushes to that corner and quickly PULLS down his pants
and boxers. Paul's face is sweating excessively. He is
yelling and whimpering. The song, "Big Boss" by Doctor P,
fits perfectly with Paul's constipation. Paul is wailing and
crying. Excessive spit is running down his mouth. His EYES
are wide OPEN and Paul is trying to breathe normally. PAUL
is literally pushing out a baby.
      (angry; trembling)
Why the fuck aren't you coming
PAUL is holding and breathing normally for once and then HE
SCREAMS AND GROANS as loud as possible.
How long is this suppose to take?
Nine fucking months!?
Paul is still releasing chunks of poop. He can hear the
chunks falling on the grass. Paul is almost done with his
deadly diarrhea experience. He takes his right hand and puts
it in his ass; God knows what he's doing with it.
Paul is cooling off and he is breathing back to normal now.
He pulls up his boxers and his pants. He walks back to the
party as if nothing happened. Paul starts to smell his right
hand and he feels pretty queasy about it.
Paul is around the rave crowd and he is attempting to push
himself through.
      (to the ravers)
Sorry. Let me go through for a
A drugged-out girl is randomly grinding up on Paul. Paul
looks beneath him and this short, Asian girl is dry humping
Paul. Paul looks around and he is dancing along. He puts his
hands on the girl's waist. Paul starts smiling in a creepy,
but cute way.


The Asian girl takes Paul's right hand (the dirty one) and
puts it around her face. Paul looks a little scared and
feels kinda bad for the girl.
Um. I don't think that's a good
The Asian girl is putting Paul's fingers in her mouth. Her
eyes are closed and she is completely zoned out. She is
licking Paul's fingers as if it was a dog licking it's
owners face. Paul thinks this girl is completely brainless.
I hope you realize that you're
putting your mouth on my warts...
This buff, half-naked Black guy walks up to Paul.
                       BLACK GUY
What are you doing to my girl!
      (to the Black Guy)
Sorry! I'm just really fucking
faded right now. Please don't kill
Paul lets go of the Asian girl. The Black guy starts
grinding on the Asian girl. The Black guy starts
french-kissing the Asian girl's dirty, filthy mouth.
Rez is relaxing by himself in the jacuzzi. He feels very
weary, lightheaded and giddy. He is staring at beautiful,
tall girls jumping into the heated pool.
Rez slowly gets up from the jacuzzi and walks to Austin
drying himself at the Patio.
Austin is drying himself up. Rez walks to him for a favor.
Hey dude. Can you help me out?
Rez is talking sluggishly.


I'm really horny.
Austin, with a towel wrapped around his waist, puts on his
shorts. He is going commando.
What do you want?
I don't know. I just want to
cuddle with someone.
Do you want to fuck tonight? I can
get someone to fuck your dick
Rez looks flabbergasted.
I mean, if you can do that. That's
fine with me.
Do you want to work for it?
Uh, no. Thank you though. But no.
Then you want a slut tonight. But
a slut that looks dead, but
breathing. Like a zombie. Instead
of your brains, they want your
Can you help me out?
Yeah. I'm going to the slutfest in
a second. I'll be your wingmen.
Paul walks by Austin and Rez smelling his fingers.
Where did you go? Did you take
your shit?
Don't worry about it. I just need
to look for paper towels.


There's some in the kitchen.
Austin and Rez are walking to the Slutfest (Austin's Living
room). It's a complete whore-festival. Lots of horny, young
teenage girls grinding on guys, giving lap dances, and
french-kissing. These girls are literally getting fingered.
They literally look zoned-out.
Okay. What do you want?
Rez is creeping around with Austin. The girl that stands out
to Rez is MICHELLE, a girl with jean shorts, a loose shirt
and black Vans. She is grinding on a guy.
      (points at
I want Michelle Steinberg.
Don't point at her!
Sorry, sorry. I'm just really
Isn't she a sophomore?
Yeah. She was Daniel Kim's prom
She went to our middle school. She
was in the sixth grade when we
were in the eighth, right?
Yeah. She had braces and a rolling


Young Michelle is sitting by herself reading a textbook
while drinking her apple juice. She is tall, wearing
glasses, wearing comfortable clothing, looks like a COMPLETE
                       REZ (V.O.)
Yeah. She didn't have any friends.
She was the one who sat by herself
when we played basketball.
Young Rez and Young Austin are playing basketball with a
group of kids in the background. Young Michelle is sitting
down on the bench by herself and laughing weirdly.
                       REZ (V.O.)
All she would do everyday is read
her fucking Franz Kafka book and
BACK TO THE SLUTFEST SCENE...MICHELLE, tall, beautiful, huge
breasts and booty is grinding on a guy sensually.
Austin and Rez are clearly focused on Michelle. There is
nothing that can distract Austin and Rez.
Damn. She went from nerd to this?
Fuck, okay. Follow my lead. I'm
going to cockblock this fool.
Then, you go right behind her.
Got it.
Pootie Tang on three. One, two,
                       AUSTIN & REZ
      (in seriousness)
Pootie Tang.
Austin walks to MICHELLE. Austin pulls up his shirt and
shows off his ROCK-HARD ABS. Michelle is turned on and
leaves the guy she was grinding on. Austin puts his hands
around Michelle's waist. Rez starts dancing awkwardly in
front of Austin. Austin looks at Rez with confusion.


      (whispers to Rez)
Rez is behind Michelle and Michelle is grinding on Rez.
Austin is pushing Michelle and Rez onto the wall. Austin
whispers in Rez's ear.
      (whispers to Rez)
Hook up with her! Now!
Austin lets go of Michelle and Rez starts kissing her on the
neck. Michelle puts her arms around Rez's head and they
start french-kissing aggressively. Rez is losing control of
the french-kissing. It seems that she is regurgitating in
Rez's mouth.
Austin is just standing there, speechless and bewildered,
looking at Rez and Michelle french-kissing.
Michelle is grinding on Rez quickly and smoothly. Rez is in
love with this girl. He whispers to her ear and she nods her
head. Rez takes Michelle upstairs quickly.
Austin is grinding on this small, skinny girl. Austin raises
his hand and gives Rez a firm, steady high-five.
Michelle is on top of Rez. They are hooking up passionately.
I like the size of your dick.
Michelle starts laughing sexually. Rez is out of it. He is
completely smashed.
Thanks. I'd like to know the size
of your dick too. If you had
I want to blow you so hard. I want
your babies in my mouth.
Michelle starts laughing sexually, yet insanely. Rez laughs
with her.


Yes. Oh yes. I like Fellatio!
Michelle laughs and goes back kissing Rez's neck. However,
CAMERA focuses on REZ feeling sick and dizzy.
Rez's POV is spinning around and losing balance. It's full
of colors and it's totally unsteady.
Michelle gets up pissed.
Why aren't you touching me?
Where...Where should I touch you?
Down under.
Michelle shows Rez her hot pink G-String. Rez starts to feel
sweaty, excited, and a little scared. Michelle starts
kissing Rez's neck again.
      (whispers in Rez's
My vagina was at Brazil this
Rez starts to lose control of himself. He starts sweating
uncontrollably. Rez's eyes are rolling back and he starts
vomiting slowly. Michelle screams and panics and falls off
the bed.
Rez is being helped by Austin and Michelle. Michelle, is
also a sincere and generous person who cares for people who
are drunk and sick. Michelle is feeding Rez with a water
bottle as Austin is putting a wet towel over his head.
How are you feeling champ?
Michelle stops feeding Rez water.
Much better.


I'm sorry that I freaked out a
little. I didn't expect that to
I didn't either.
I was pretty fucked up myself.
You okay?
Yeah. Helping you out is helping
me sober up.
Good. Good.
Okay. I'm going to go downstairs
and play some beer pong. Paul
needs a teammate so come
downstairs and help him out.
Okay. Thanks dude.
Don't mention it, buddy.
Austin leaves the bathroom.
I'm never drinking or smoking with
him again. He goes way too
I think you should know your
Yeah like a shot is fine and
Rez and Michelle are both awkwardly laughing.
Um. Do you go to Beverly?


Yeah. I'm going to be a junior
next year.
Oh wow. Tough grade.
How about you?
Just graduated. I'm going to
Stanford next year.
Oh my God! Really? I love
Stanford! I love their campus!
Yeah. They have a nice campus. Do
you want to go to Stanford?
I wish. I'm trying to take as many
AP's this year. Unlike any of my
friends, I actually study on
Saturday nights. I barely go out.
Wow. I didn't really expect that
from you. That's awesome. Wow.
I mean. You're beautiful, you're
smart and you're fun to talk to.
You're really beautiful actually.
You stood out to me at the dance
Aw. Thanks. You're sweet.
I'm sorry that it had to go this
way. It's pretty embarrassing for
No. Don't worry. You just want a
piece of me. My freshmen year in
high school, I've been sucking


                       MICHELLE (cont'd)
dick and fucking a lot of guys.
I've been pretty much used to
being called a slut. I mean. I
really want to get out of here and
go to Stanford to prove that I'm
actually a smart and sensitive
girl. So, I mean I guess you would
tell your friends that you got
with me. I mean. It's whatever.
I'm used to it.
No. I wouldn't want to do that.
You're already proved to me that
you're a smart and sensitive
person. I mean, look at you.
You're taking care of me after we
hooked up. You're sincere, sweet,
you have the qualities of a
perfect girlfriend. You're an
amazing person.
Michelle smiles and kisses Rez.
I'd love to kiss you more, but
your breathe smells really bad.
Yeah. I'll use some mouthwash
right now. I think that would
Michelle laughs slightly, but looks at Rez as if she is in
love with him already.
I don't care.
Michelle gets on top of Rez and starts kissing him with
passion and desire. She is holding onto his head and Rez is
holding her waist.
Do you want to help me with my
Stanford paper when I apply as a
I'd love to.
Michelle kisses Rez on the forehead.


Your cute. But you really need
mouthwash. I'm not joking anymore.
Yeah. It's underneath the sink.
Michelle opens the cabinet and finds small mouthwash
Michelle hands a mouthwash bottle to Rez.
Rez puts the bottle near the sink. Michelle and Rez continue
french-kissing passionately and sexually.
Rez is passed out and Austin is tapping on his head to wake
him up.
Dipshit. Wake up.
Rez wakes up from his fantasy.
Wha-What happened? What the fuck?
I was at the bathroom a minute
ago. Where's Michelle?
I think she went home. She left
crying and screaming and went all
nuts and shit. You really gave her
a fucked-up facial.
Austin checks Rez's pants and sees that he wet his pants.
Fuck. Ugh God. I'm not drinking
with you anymore.
Rez feels very sick and has a major headache.
I got you some water.


Austin feeds Rez water. Water is drooling out of Rez's
Drink. Drink the water.
Rez is trying to talk, but he can't because his mouth is
filled with water.
I'm good. I feel better now.
You straight?
You sure?
Okay. Paul needs a partner in beer
pong. You don't have to drink.
He'll drink all the cups. Just
come downstairs and help him out.
Austin is playing beer pong with a girl as his teammate
against Paul and Rez.
SARAH, young, yet an extremely attractive underclassmen high
schooler walks into the kitchen to aware Austin about the
Austin! These Persian kids outside
are harassing me.
Austin is clearly focused on the game. Paul is staring and
stalking at Sarah's beauty. Sarah doesn't realize Paul's


Like they're just outside
harassing people and it's pissing
me off.
Then stay inside, Sarah! Why do
you nag so much?
They're blasting music and that
could piss of the neighbors.
They'll call the police!
I told the cops that I'm throwing
a bat mitzvah. They can't just
come here and crash a Bat Mitzvah,
Sarah. I have permits.
They're blasting music outside!
They can piss off the neighbors!
Austin loses his temper and shouts at Sarah.
Oh my God Sarah! Shut the FUCK up!
You're so fucking annoying!
      (to Rez)
Rez. Come with me to check it out.
AUSTIN apologizes to his tall, beautiful, female teammate.
      (to his teammate)
I'll be back sweetheart. Just for
a second, let me see what's going
      (to Rez & Sarah)
Okay. Come on.
Austin, Rez, and Sarah are walking towards the front door.
They're just being rude and
obnoxious, Austin!
What did I ever tell you about
cock-blocking me at a game of beer


Rez opens the door and they witness a black BMW filled with
Persians harassing little, freshmen girls with slutty
Ah shit. Bromen's.
Austin and Rez are walking towards the black BMW.
      (to Sarah)
Stay inside! Don't come out!
What the fuck do they want?
They're here to piss me off.
Fucking low life scums.
The black BMW has DARK BLACK tints. All four guys in the car
are either wearing black hats, sunglasses, black buttoned
downs or t-shirts, etc. The "bromen" in the passenger seat,
FARBOD, has a very thin mustache. The driver, HOUTAN, is a
HUGE, Austin-like "bromen". The two in the back, CAMYAR and
HOOMAN, are skinny Persian kids with DARK BLACK sunglasses.
The "bromen" are blasting LOUD Lil' Wayne music.
What do you guys want?
You didn't invite me to your
party? Why not?
Farbod speaks in a very fresh-off-the-boat, STRONG, Persian
You guys didn't even go to
Bro, we went to Moreno!
Yeah. A continuation school. And
you guys aren't even eighteen!


Hey! It's my twenty-first
birthday! Let me celebrate with
you guys!
Do you really think we're stupid?
We know what you guys do at
parties. Rape girls and steal our
Bro. You're talking about the
eight one eight bros. They steal
your shit. We just want to party.
Get out before I call my sniper
upstairs to shoot your car.
What sniper, bro? Huh?
Austin takes out his phone and speed dials one of his
snipers. In a matter of seconds, a window upstairs opens and
a man in ALL-ARMY uniform with Aviators brings out his
Look up on my roof.
The "bromen" are now losing their minds; they start having
panic attacks.
Hey! Hey! Not my car! Okay. We'll
Farbod turns his head and tells Houtan to "shut up" in
      (to Houtan; in
       Farsi; with
Shut up!
Farbod turns his head back at Austin and Rez.
We'll go. But we'll be back.


And we'll fuck your asses up and
you'll be sucking our dicks!
Hooman, the skinny Persian in the back, has a very
high-pitched voice and brings out his M4 Carbine gun out.
      (voice cracks out)
Oh God...
I'm going to blow your fucking
head off!
Rez quickly starts bitching out, but Austin can tell that
this gun is a BB gun because the CAMERA focuses on the
slightly orange color on the barrel of the gun. Austin
snickers a little.
You really think you're going
shoot me with a BB gun? I dare
you. Shoot me.
Hooman looks at Austin with confusion, but with complete
frustration. Hooman shoots at Austin with his BB, but the
bullets didn't even come up close in hurting Austin's BIG,
Man. Get out of here before I tell
my sniper to give your car a paint
Hooman signals Houtan to leave in Farsi.
Boro! Boro!
We'll be back! Watch yourself!
The BMW SPEEDS and SPRINTS AWAY from Austin and Rez.
We'll be back motherfuckers!
Austin looks at the black BMW with anger and rage.


They better not fucking crash my
Did the bullet even hurt?
First of all, it was a tiny ball.
And no. It didn't hurt.
Austin and Rez are walking back to the house.
What if they do show up, but with
an uglier car?
Then my sniper is going to shoot
them in the fucking face. Don't
worry man.
Sarah is sitting by herself in the kitchen drinking light
beer. She's looking down and seems pretty bored. There are
people crowded around her, but she is not paying any
attention on them. Paul is staring at her in a strange way.
Paul walks over to talk to Sarah.
Is everything okay?
Sarah looks at Paul for a quick second.
Yeah. Are you my brother's friend?
Yeah. My name is Paul.
Do you go to Beverly?
                       PAUL (V.O.)
Of course you do.
Yeah. Did you?


                       PAUL (V.O.)
No. I don't go to school you dumb
fucking bitch.
No. No, I don't. I don't.
What grade are you in?
                       PAUL (V.O.)
She's a sophomore going to the
eleventh grade.
I just finished sophomore year.
I'm going to be a junior next
Nice. Did you play any sports?
                       PAUL (V.O.)
Volleyball and Lacrosse.
Volleyball and Lacrosse.
That's tight. I used to play
lacrosse with Austin all the time.
We are looking behind Paul, so we don't know if he's opening
his mouth or not.
Why can't I just fuck you? Why?
Why! Why! Why!
Sarah gets creeped out.
Excuse me?
Paul looks like he's going to crap his pants. Paul is
completely embarrassed and his face is turning RED.
Oh shit. Did I say that out loud?
      (freaked out)


I didn't intend that to happen.
Sarah gets up and leaves her beer on the table. She walks
away quickly.
Tyler walks in the kitchen with his beige pants on and
vintage Star Wars t-shirt.
      (to Paul)
Hey dude.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Austin's outside.
No he's not. I was just outside.
Austin and Rez walk into the kitchen and Austin is excited
that Tyler's here. Austin wraps his arm around Tyler's neck
in a friendly and sociable way.
I'm so happy that you're here.
Thanks man. What's up Rez?
Feeling better. Thanks for asking.
What's wrong?
Pretty much fucked himself over
with a bitch tonight.
No worries man. Dude, I was
walking past your living room and
I swear to God it was like a


                       TYLER (cont'd)
fucking orgy.
It was my own creation of my
little high school fuck fest. But,
I didn't want it to sound
degrading so I called it a
Austin is on the phone with "The Sniper". His phone
conversation cannot be heard, but Paul is showing a FAT,
half-eaten weed brownie to Rez and Tyler.
I bought this from some white guy
at Home Depot. I had a few bites
with him if it's legit or not.
What happened?
Nothing too serious. We just
walked around and stuff.
Paul is walking down Santa Monica Boulevard with his white
dealer. A car rolls by and a man in a Rajon Rondo jersey and
a Boston Celtics hat is looking for directions. The driver
is wearing a "Beat L.A." t-shirt.
Hey. Do you know how we can get to
Staples Center? We're pretty lost.
You're going for game seven?
Yeah. We have like an hour left
and we've been driving in circles.
Do you know how to get there?
Paul stops and stares at the man and gives him a quick


Yeah. You have to keep on going
down Santa Monica Boulevard. Pass
Sepulveda and Centinela and you'll
see a bunch of Laker fans walking
down to the Staples Center.
      (gives a thumbs up)
Okay. Thanks dude!
The car drives off and Paul sticks out his middle finger.
Good luck finding it asshole!
You gave him the wrong directions?
Yeah. It also made me think a lot.
I realized in the end that I'm
entirely heterosexual.
STAN, Paul's dealer, is lying right next to him naked
playing footsie with Paul. Paul is naked as well feeling
very uncomfortable.
Hey Stan.
How are you feeling?
Um. I don't know. I mean, I don't
have a boner or anything. So, what
does that mean?
Can you get off of me?
Stan quickly gets off of Paul.


You're welcome.
Austin hangs up his phone and walks over to Paul, Rez, and
Okay. The Sniper is ready for any
Bromen intruder. We can go now.
Where are we going?
We're going to this abandoned
house. Nice place to smoke.
Are you sure that Bromen's are not
going to come?
Yes dude. They're probably giving
each other reach arounds by now.
Guys, once we're there, I need
some friendly advice on whether or
not a remake of American Graffiti
can really help my acting career.
If it's a box office flop, I won't
have a chance in performing again.
I'll probably have to work as a
fucking banker...
Stop being so negative! What we're
going to eat right now is going to
enlighten us. We're going to feel
like Siddhartha and a little bit
of Chris McCandless. You have
nothing to worry about.


Austin, Rez, Tyler, and Paul are walking down the sidewalk
to the abandoned house.
      (to Tyler)
Who are you playing as?
Do you mean what character I'm
portraying in the movie?
He wants me to play Steve
Bolander. Ron Howard's character.
Ron Howard was an actor?
Yeah. He was a child actor before
he started directing.
Really? I never knew that.
Yeah. He went to USC's film
school, which is one of my
favorite film schools of all time
right behind New York's Tisch
School of the Arts.
I really enjoyed A Beautiful Mind.
It's like one of my favorite films
of all time. I put it as Favorite
movies on Facebook. You know? So
everyone can see that I like A
Beautiful Mind?
Yeah. I liked the Beautiful Mind.
Yeah. It was majestic.


Farbod, Houtan, Hooman, and Camyar are at the Will Rogers
Memorial Park smoking cigarettes, leaning on Houtan's black
I'm telling you. There is no
greater feeling in the world when
I got dome from Savannah.
Savannah who?
Savannah the El Camino bitch. I
made her suck my dick. It felt
good though. When she swallowed, I
thanked her and gave her a five
and went home. Ate some Captain
Crunch and watched Spongebob
after. No big deal.
Bro. I fucked this girl this one
time. This was at that kickback we
went to for the fourteen year
old's birthday. Remember?
      (in Farsi; with
All the rich Calabasas bitches?
Ey Camyar. Remember when you got
in a fight with that white kid
when he confronted you after you
were putting your tongue in his
girlfriend's ear?
Camyar is doing squats and laughing at what Hooman said.
Yeah. Motherfucker was begging for
his life right in front of his
Camyar laughs strangely and sticks out his very abnormally
large tongue.


Licked her clean right after.
      (to Hooman and
But do you remember that bitch I
fucked in my car when you guys
were outside?
Yeah. That skinny white girl.
A tall, skinny, but very beautiful and stylish white girl is
walking around with a Skyy Vodka in her hand. She meets
Farbod and they start having drinks together. She loses
control and falls into Farbod's arms. Farbod takes her head
and they start hooking up, but Farbod's tongue is all over
her neck and mouth. She can't help it. She's losing her
                       FARBOD (V.O.)
Listen. This bitch wouldn't stop
lying to these people. She kept
saying that she's not a virgin and
shit on Formspring and Facebook,
but she really did fuck every fool
at that party.
Farbod is signaling Houtan, Hooman, and Camyar to follow him
to his car.
The poor, drunk white girl is giving head to Houtan and
Houtan is recording the blow job with his phone. His phone
is shining light on her, but she doesn't have the senses to
realize it.
                       HOUTAN (V.O.)
I made her suck my dick the whole
time. I literally made a fucking
sex tape on my Blackberry.
The drunk white girl, with her bra on, is riding on Houtan,
with his shirt off. They are having hott, sweaty sex.
Houtan's right hand is holding his Blackberry recording her
having sex.


                       HOUTAN (V.O.)
I recorded her having sex with me
on top, on bottom, doggystyle,
EVERYTHING! Good sex. No doubt.
She's white! I had high
expectations. Then, I released the
video to the whole world on
The white girl, sober and functional, is on Facebook and
witnesses all these NASTY, HURTFUL commented posted on her
wall. She finds the video and sees it. Tears are rolling
down her eyes. This girl is in shock and she's very, very
scared. She is losing her mind. She's sobbing hard. She
bites her hand so she wouldn't feel the pain, but blood is
pouring out from her fingers. She slams her hand on the
table and yells.
                       HOUTAN (V.O.)
And that video was sent to the
WHOLE world. She eventually got
it. All these comments calling her
a whore and shit. She completely
lost all her memory from the night
before! She didn't remember who
she's fucked! She couldn't tell
her parents. She was only fourteen
years old! Especially having a
one-night stand with a guy you
don't know.
The white girl's parents walk into her room scared and
worried and sees this white girl cutting herself in her bed.
She is pouring blood on her bed. She is sitting on a TUB of
BLOOD. Her eyes are weary, she's losing a lot of blood, and
she's clearly losing her mind.
      (in Farsi; with
It wasn't my fault. That bitch
shouldn't be lying. If you enjoy
sucking dick, keep sucking dick.
Fuck the haters.
Farbod flicks off his cigarette.


      (in Farsi; with
She obviously doesn't know what's
right and what's wrong.
Hooman also flicked off his cigarette.
Ey look.
Houtan points at Rez, Tyler, Austin, and Paul walking down
the street talking.
Bro. He's just abandoning his own
party. Let's go.
      (in Farsi; with
Good. I need to fuck somebody
      (to Camyar)
You always want to fuck somebody
      (in Farsi; with
Hey man. I'm horny all the time.
What can I do?
Go to sex therapy.
Farbod, Houtan and Hooman laugh as Camyar feels embarrassed
to say anything further.
Listen. Shut up. This is a perfect
time. Let's go find a way to sneak
in from the back without getting
hit by the Sniper.
You can't. There's no alley way.
Fuck. What! Really?


Ey listen. Call all the valley
homies right now. See what they're
doing. I heard they're all kicking
it at The Spot. They have NOTHING
better to do tonight!
      (to Camyar &
Camyar. Hooman. Call them, BBM
them, text them, whatever! Make
sure they come and meet us here so
we can all go together.
Farbod nods his head in agreement.
You're right. If we all go. There
is no change that faggot ass
Sniper can hit any of us. We'll
leave our cars here and we'll all
crash in.
Tyler, Rez, Paul, and Austin arrive at the abandoned house.
There is a gate covering around the house to keep
trespassers away.
How the hell are we going to get
ourselves inside?
We're going to climb it. It
doesn't look too bad.
Austin, being the athletic savage he is, jumps on the gate
and slowly gets himself to the top.
Okay. Let Paul come up first,
since being the heaviest one here.
Tyler and Rez push him up.
      (to Tyler & Rez)
Hey. Don't drop me. Please.


We'll try not to.
No! I'm not kidding. Don't drop
me. I'm scared of heights.
Paul, it's nothing but a couple of
feet. You're not going to die or
Actually. I can't do this shit.
I'm just going to stay here. You
guys go ahead.
Paul! I need you man! You're like
one of my good friends and I need
your opinion.
Why the fuck do you want my
opinion? I'm just a dumb, fat slob
according to Rez and a moronic
nitwit who masturbates to pictures
of high school girls. I should be
the LAST person on the face of
this Earth to receive an opinion
Dude. So what if you like
masturbating to pictures of little
girls. So what if you're dumb! I'm
dumb! I failed algebra twice! I
really need you to come. I need
you to share the weed brownie with
me so we can see if this is a good
choice or not.
Okay. You want me to have a piece
of the brownie? Here.
Paul takes out his weed brownie and takes a HUGE bite out of
it. Rez attacks Paul slightly and takes the weed brownie
away from him.
What the fuck man?


Paul is already getting delirious. He is have trouble
standing. His eyes are nearly closed and his whole face is
turning RED.
What are you doing Paul?
Tyler senses that Paul is in trouble so he holds Paul and
keeps him stable.
Woah, woah. Paul. Relax man. Take
it easy.
I can't feel anything. I'm so
      (looks at Tyler)
It's so hott in here.
      (to himself;
They already kicked in.
Shit, Paul. Listen...
It's so freakin' hot in here.
Paul takes off his shirt; nearly ripping it.
Keep your shirt on! You're going
to catch a cold.
No. I can't. I don't want to die
of dehydration.
      (to Tyler)
Just keep his shirt with you.
Paul. Give me the brownie.


      (to Paul)
Paul. Give Tyler the brownies!
Paul! Give me the fucking
brownies! I'm not playing anymore
      (chuckles like a
       little girl)
Okay. You can always say it
      (to Paul)
Paul. Paul.
Paul is looking around for the voices that is calling his
Paul looks up and sees Austin on top of a LONG, LENGTHY
How the fuck did you get ALL the
way up there?
Listen you chronic-smoking,
obnoxious lard ass. You are
wasting my time. I need to go back
to my party to see if it's under
control. If you don't get up here
RIGHT NOW, then I'm going to
amputate both of your legs with my
      (freaking out)
Okay, man. Just cool it. If I get
up, just don't bite my legs off.
I'm going to come right now.


Paul walks to the gate and jumps as if he was Spiderman.
Tyler and Rez look amazed and shocked. Paul is climbing it
quickly and gets on top with Austin.
      (to Rez & Paul)
Climb up. It doesn't look too bad.
Paul loses balance and falls. His whole back hits the dirt
Oh shit!
Rez and Tyler are shocked and nervous of Paul's well-being
after being slammed onto the floor.
Dude. What happened?
He just fell.
      (shouts at Paul)
Paul! Are you okay?
I'm slowly sobering up. I think I
need some more.
      (to Austin)
What did he say?
He says he's slowly sobering up
and he needs to eat more of the
weed brownie.
Fuck that. He already had enough.
Austin looks at Paul and sees that he is pretending that
he's riding a bicycle. Paul is chuckling like a little girl
and pretending that he is waving at people while bike
      (to Tyler & Rez)
Your right. He had enough.


Rez, Tyler, Austin, and a stoned-out Paul are sitting on the
dirt. Tyler is holding the brownie in his hand.
Let me take a piece out.
Tyler hands the brownie to Rez.
Rez hands the brownie to Austin, purposely skipping an
unconscious Paul. Paul is drooling, hallucinating, he looks
like a messed-up, FUCKED-UP ALAN from THE HANGOVER.
Thanks Rez.
Austin takes a large chunk of the brownie.
      (to Austin)
Yo, yo! What are you doing?
I'm taking a large piece so I can
be capable of thinking straight.
Thinking straight? Paul's almost
brain dead!
You're right.
Austin takes a chunk out of his brownie piece and stuffs it
in Paul's mouth.
Here Paul. Have some bird shit in
your mouth.
Paul is laughing and drooling as Austin is stuffing the
brownie piece into Paul's mouth.
It's a hairy bird shit in my
Rez, Tyler, and Austin are laughing along with Paul.


Yeah. I stuck the shit in my
asshole. All the hair is stuck on
the bird shit. I hope that's okay,
Paul's mouth is covered with drool and brownie pieces.
It's okay man. You're just there
to take care of me.
That's right Paul. I'm here to
take care of you.
Paul starts to explode. He is dying of laughter. He can't
control himself.
Holy shit Paul! Control yourself!
Rez, Tyler, and Austin are laughing with Paul, but they
aren't laughing as crazy.
Hey. Let's put our chunks in the
air and give it out to Paul for
being here with us. I really
appreciate it Paul.
Paul smiles with his eyes WIDE OPEN.
Are you trying to seduce me?
Let's put our chunks in the air.
To Paul!
Tyler raises his brownie piece in the air along with Rez and
Austin's brownie piece.
                       AUSTIN & REZ
To Paul!
Tyler, Rez, and Austin consume their brownie pieces, but
they aren't feeling anything yet.
What happens now?


We wait.
The four Bromen are grouped together. They are calling,
texting other Bromen around the area to crash Austin's
Houtan is smoking his cigarette and stares at the party.
Farbod finishes his phone call and walks over to Houtan.
The whole gang are coming.
Make sure Naveed and Hormoz
arrive. I want them to help me
steal that faggot's T.V.
Naveed is crazy, bro! He's going
to take everything at the party.
What if the police comes?
      (in Farsi; with
Then we run. What do you think?
We've done this before!
      (in Farsi; with
Okay. I'll call Sina to bring
Naveed and Hormoz. Promise me that
you'll tell Naveed not to start
shit. That fool is crazy!
      (in Farsi; with
Don't worry. But if there's a
threat, then I'll tell Naveed to
fight. All I want is to rob that
house. That's it.
Alright bro. I'm going to call
Sina. What if he says that he
doesn't want to come.


Tell him that it's in Beverly
Hills. So, he's going to want to
rob that house. Second, tell him
that there's hoes and alcohol. And
third, say Houtan says to fucking
come or I'm going to bury him a
fucking grave.
Houtan flicks off his cigarette.
      (in Farsi; with
You know what I just realized?
Austin has a little sister...
Austin and Rez are lying against each other. Tyler is
sleeping with his eyes wide open. Paul is flat on his
stomach; passed out completely.
TYLER, is having trouble speaking, he is talking to Austin
and Rez about his future acting career.
I just can't handle rejection. I
can't. I wasn't in the musical for
a reason.
You need to try at least. See what
you're capable of. Take some
acting classes. Look for some ads
on craigslist.
I don't want my acting to
interfere with school though.
What do you mean?
I don't know if I should start
acting. I mean, should I start
school and then acting? Should I
act, make millions and then go to
Austin seems annoyed.


Think about it Tyler. Being an
actor is the hardest job in the
world. Actors spend most of their
time being rejected and, after
rejection, it's Unemployment. How
did you even get the producer to
notice you?
He just walked into Pinkberry and
said that I looked like Ron
Howard. He said that I'm a
typecast of Steve Bolander.
What's typecast?
When a particular actor becomes
strongly identified with a
specific character. James Franco
got the role as James Dean because
he looked exactly like him.
Dude. I think you should accept
it. It's a once of a lifetime
opportunity. You don't get
producers walking around asking
random people to be in their
Dude, you are so right. I should
take this advantage, gain some
Tyler is hallucinating. He stares at Rez and Austin, but
Tyler is seeing two, red-head, freckled face, Ron
Howard-look alikes.
Holy shit.
I think I'm getting a sign.


Tyler comes back into reality.
You know what? I'm going to do it.
I'm going to call him first thing
in the morning, quit Pinkberry,
and once I'm famous, I'm going to
make Julia suck on my fucking sack
for cheating on me.
      (to himself)
Dirty fuckin' whore
Dude. It wasn't her fault for
cheating on you.
What do you mean?
What I mean is that she cheated on
you to keep her sane and
What are you saying?
Dude, I'm going to be honest with
you. Okay? You're a fucking pussy.
No joke. You're a fucking bitch.
In a good way, not in a bad way
      (to Austin)
Listen Tyler. You're not going to
get anywhere in life with your
pussy attitude. You're just simply
a...bitch. I'm sorry to say, but
you're just a bitch. I don't know
any other word, but you're simply
a... bitch. I mean, you're dumb as
hell. You failed algebra and
biology twice. She's on her way to
Michigan. She needs a better guy.
You're simply, I'm trying to be as
honest as possible, you're simply


Tyler is frozen and he is utterly upset and miserable. He
looks down because he can't stare at Austin's eyes. He feels
ashamed and he really wants to cry.
I bet she broke up with you
because she wanted to move on, but
really, she wants to meet bigger,
smarter, and beefy juice heads.
Tyler starts to bawl and shed tears.
      (tearing up)
Did you fuck her Austin?
Why are you crying?
Did you fuck her Austin! Did you
fuck her! Answer me! You knew I
dated her for four years! We did
everything together!
Tyler wipes his tears off his eyes.
Did you fuck Julia?
Austin pauses momentarily.
Okay, I'll be honest with you. I
was a little drunk, but she was
messed up man. She wasn't a good
Rez and Tyler looks at Austin with disbelief. Austin puts
his head down in shame.
Austin stands up and walks over to Tyler to give him a hug.
No hard feelings. I'm sorry dude.
She wasn't a good girlfriend.
She's a fucking tramp.
Tyler stands up and Austin reaches for his hand, but Tyler
punches Austin directly in the jaw.


Oh shit.
Tyler is throwing punches on Austin, but Austin is defending
I fucking loved her man! I would
have done anything in the world to
get her back, but you FUCKED her?
Rez is carrying Tyler away from Austin.
You FUCKED her? You're my best
friend since the first grade! You
and I would play tag and shit and
you would always be the first one
on my basketball team in middle
school! How could you! We dated
for four years!
Dude, you're a fucking coward!
That's why! It's not my fault,
it's hers! She fucked me! She
fucked every Water Polo player and
EVERY wrestler! Every wrestler!
Even the built, skinny ones!
Tyler is breathing hesitantly. Austin gets up wiping blood
off his nose.
She was tired of you man. It's
like playing tetris everyday
because that's the only thing you
have to keep you entertained and
then Call of Duty and Madden comes
by and they're like play with me!
Play with me! What do you do? You
leave tetris behind and you go
have sex with Call of Duty and
Madden! I'm sorry dude. I am truly
Tyler walks away brokenhearted and miserable. Rez attempts
to get him.


REZ looks back.
Leave him.
You're a fucking dick. I hope you
know that.
I'm high as hell. I'm going to be
honest with him. He needs to
Not like this!
I'm going to get him. What you
said was fucked up. Really fucked
Rez goes after Tyler.
Ah shit.
Austin kicks Paul.
Wake up porky.
Paul wakes up with his eyes RED and NEARLY CLOSED. His dry
mouth filled with semen-like saliva and brownie marks. His
face is CHERRY RED; it seems that he's been choked out.
PAUL tries to spit out, but his saliva is spat on back onto
his face and it's hardly falling onto the ground.
What happened?
I've managed to piss off Tyler
      (pissed off)
Who haven't you pissed off?
Austin gives a loud and doleful SIGH.


The Sniper near the window is eating donut balls until he
notices a SWARMING CROWD of Bromen in ALL BLACK. It looks
like an overwhelming amount of BLACK BEES entering Austin's
Houtan walks in the house with Farbod, Hooman, and Camyar.
First thing Houtan sees is a family picture of Austin, Sarah
and their parents. He takes his phone out to see a better
look at Sarah. He turns his head around and the FIRST THING
he witnesses is a girl rushing upstairs scared and anxious.
Houtan smiles wickedly, knowing that he's found his victim.
The Sniper prepares to take a shot at one of the Bromen. He
takes a shot and hits one Bromen wearing a BLACK sweater,
baggy BLACK jeans and a hat. He shot the Bromen directly in
the chest. The Bromen slowly gets up.
The Sniper is hesitated and SOMEBODY is KNOCKING on Sarah's
door. He walks near the door with his sniper facing forward.
Who is it?
It's me! It's me! Open up!
The Sniper opens the door and SARAH rushes in quickly with
anxiety and terror.
Why aren't you taking them out?
What do you mean? There are
literally thousands outside!
We're paying you to shoot them! So
go shoot them!
My God.


Shoot them in the face if you have
The Sniper goes back to the window and aims at the Bromen.
SARAH is calling Austin on her cell phone. The Sniper is
taking shots on the Bromen. He looks back at Sarah, noticing
that she's calling for help.
Are you calling Austin?
Is he answering?!
It's ringing!
A emotional, tearful Tyler walks with Rez and sits down
quietly. It looks very awkward and intense. Austin's phone
is vibrating.
Who is it?
Austin checks his caller I.D.
It's Sarah.
Austin answers his phone.
After a couple of seconds of the phone call, Austin is
easily upset and frightened.
What's going on!? What's
Is Sarah okay?


Austin signals Paul to "calm down".
Are you okay? Slowly tell me
what's going on.
Sarah is losing her mind. She is bawling tears and shaken
The Bromen are here! They are
here. They are taking over and
literally raping our house!
Houtan, OUT OF NO WHERE, violently kicks the door and runs
to the Sniper first thing and knocks him out. SARAH screams
and runs to the side. Houtan takes off his t-shirt and
exposes his massive, muscular body. Sarah runs towards her
bathroom, but Houtan rushes and grabs onto her. Sarah wails
fearfully and loudly.
Austin hears screams on his phone and Houtan violently
cursing at Sarah. Sarah is screaming for her life, but
Houtan is screaming back at her. It feels like being on a
phone with your sister when she's been kidnapped by
Sarah? Sarah!
Rez, Tyler, and Paul are shaken up by fear and they look at
Austin with confusion.
The threatening and intense phone call ends. Austin's eyes
are wide open. He is shaken by the extreme phone call. He
puts his phone down silently. His hand is trembling as if he
is holding something very, very cold.
Austin? What happened?
Austin looks at Rez with shock. It was a very traumatic
phone call.


The Bromen's arrived. My sister is
being raped.
Austin's right eye is shedding a tear.
Oh my God. Oh my God. We have to
go. We have to go.
Austin gets up.
We have to go now!
Dude. Call the police.
Fuck no! Are you crazy? I don't
want to break their trust!
Austin! Think for once! Use your
brain! Your sister is being raped
by these criminals! You HAVE to
call the police!
No. No. Fuck that. I'm not. I'm
going to confront them myself. And
if I have to. I'll kill them with
my bear hands.
Rez gets up and walks to Austin. They are facing each other
Do you hear yourself? This is
crazy! This is madness! There are
literally thousands of Bromen
inside your house! Your dealing
with thieves and rapists!
My whole body is numb right now. I
am capable of breaking their bones
with my hands. My bones, they've
been desensitized already. I can't
feel anything, but
My sister's PAIN! We need to go
and control that party! I don't
care if it's just us four, we need


                       AUSTIN (cont'd)
to go and help her!
Rez SIGHS. He looks over at Paul.
      (to Paul)
What are you going to do?
Paul gets up and walks to Austin and Rez.
This is serious. We can get
ourselves killed, but when it
comes to Sarah, I'm all in.
Austin pulls Paul in and gives him a hug.
Thank you man. Thank you.
She's my cousin. And she's your
sister. If you're saying no to the
police, then I'll fight until
those cocksuckers depart.
Austin gives Rez a firm, manly handshake.
Thanks brother.
Of course.
Austin looks at an ignorant, furious TYLER. Rez and Paul
turn around and look at him in deep sorrow. Austin walks
over to Tyler, but Tyler is completely ignorant at Austin's
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I
have done and I can't go back now,
but, my sister needs our help,
Tyler. I need as many men to help
me secure the party. I'm asking
you for your help, Ty. I know what
I've done was wrong, but you have
to realize, that I was drunk and I
wasn't thinking!


She was my girlfriend. You fucked
her and you fucked me over. This
is your sister? Let them fuck her
and let this fuck you over.
Tyler. This is my sister! These
criminals are going to rape her! I
need your help man! Please!
Tyler turns around and puts his back on Austin. Tyler is
showing a sign of disrespect to Austin. Austin is appalled
and upset of what he's witnessing right now.
      (to Rez & Paul)
Alright guys. Let's go.
Austin is leading Rez and Paul to his house. Rez and Paul
are both looking at Tyler in dismay and agitation.
Paul, however, is following Austin. Rez is holding them
back, looking at Tyler with grief and sadness.
      (to Rez)
Rez! Let's go!
Rez swallows bitterness and walks to Austin and Paul.
Houtan is on top of Sarah. He is trying to pull off her
shirt. Camyar and Hooman are beating down the Sniper. The
Sniper is yelling and begging for mercy.
Stop. Stop. Stop.
      (screams violently)
Sarah is quivering and scared witless.
Please. Let me go. Please.


Sh. I can't. You're just so
Houtan is attempting to put Sarah's hand in his crotch.
I'd love to lick you all over.
Houtan sticks out his tongue and attempts to lick Sarah's
face, but Sarah slaps Houtan.
Houtan looks at the other direction and smiles. He spits on
the bed and slaps Sarah back, but brutally and aggressively.
He stuffs his hand on her neck, almost causing her to die.
Sarah's face is steaming and bawling.
Let's not make this rape into a
Sarah is literally trembling and scared for her life.
The Sniper is losing consciousness. Hooman is grabbing onto
his neck and Caymar is kicking him in the stomach brutally.
Houtan is forcing Sarah's hand inside his pants. Sarah has
the inability to move anymore. Houtan is LITERALLY on top of
her; controlling her physically and emotionally.
Austin, Rez, and Paul arrive at Austin's house. They witness
the frontyard is filled with Bromen in all black. They are
smoking their cigarettes and talking to little, innocent,
BUT DRUNK teenage girls.
The Slutfest is crowded with BROMEN putting their cigarettes
and 40's in the air. The room is polluted with cigarette
smoke. One guy is smoking his cigarette while getting a lap
dance; treating the girl as if she was a stripper. There are
guys creating a HUGE mosh pit in such a SMALL area. The DJ
is playing "YAY AREA" by E-40 and it's making all the Bromen


AUSTIN witnesses that his T.V. or any of the family's
personal items haven't been stolen yet.
Nothing's been stolen, yet. We
arrived early.
So they're just getting started?
NEAR the Living Room are stairs that lead to SARAH and
AUSTIN'S ROOMS. Austin, Rez, and Paul hear screams and they
rush upstairs to find Sarah.
Rez, Tyler, and Paul are huddling on the stairs. There is a
slight visual of Sarah's room, but all they can see is the
Sniper knocked out.
      (to Rez & Paul)
Listen. Rez, go downstairs and
tell the DJ to shut off the music.
Paul, you go take a right to my
room, go on the roof and tell the
DJ to stop playing his music and
to tell everyone that the cops are
Rez runs downstairs and Paul is walking to Austin's room.
Austin is in a SOLIDER'S STANCE, very close to KNEELING
down, and walks towards his room. Austin is waiting for both
DJ's to turn off their music and signal the warning. The DJ
upstairs turned off his music and he is signaling that the
cops are coming. Austin is hearing footsteps and people
hollering inside the house. The DJ upstairs turns off his
music and signals that the "5-0 are coming". Everyone in the
house are leaving, shrieking as if they have warrants in
their records.


Houtan is on the bed with a frightened raped victim, Sarah.
She has her shirt off, but not her pants. The Sniper has
been unconscious the whole time. Camyar and Hooman notice
something wrong outside.
      (in Farsi; with
Hey. Look outside.
      (in Farsi; with
Why is everyone outside leaving?
Houtan is concentrating on kissing Sarah's neck.
      (in Farsi; with
What's going on?
Austin is kneeling down waiting to go inside, but FARBOD
rushes upstairs not noticing Austin. AUSTIN literally runs
towards FARBOD and picks him up and throws him into his
Austin slams Farbod onto the ground and head butts him first
thing. Farbod loses conciousness and bleeds. Austin gets
back up with blood all over his forehead. Paul is in the
room and stares at Austin in amazement.
      (to Paul)
There are handcuffs on my drawer.
Cuff him on my bed.
Austin looks for a weapon and finds a wooden baseball bat.
Which one?
Bottom drawer.


Austin leaves his room. Paul seems confused and walks to his
      (to himself)
Why does he have handcuffs?
Paul opens Austin's bottom drawer and sees HOT PINK, FURRY
Perverted freak.
Austin walks to Sarah's room with a bat in his hand looking
forward in killing the Bromen.
Camyar hears footsteps in the hallway.
      (in Farsi; with
Do you hear that?
It's Farbod. Open the door for
Camyar walks to the door.
AUSTIN kicks the front door with GREAT POWER and STRENGTH
causing Camyar to break his nose.
Camyar looks balance and starts to bleed ALL OVER. Austin
swings his bat on Hooman's face causing him to fall. Camyar
walks to the window holding his bloody nose and Austin
throws Camyar through the window to his roof; causing the
window to shatter.
Hooman slowly gets up but Austin takes his head and RAMS it
on the wall. Hooman loses conciousness and falls on the


ground face first. AUSTIN gives a death stare at a
speechless Houtan.
Get off of my sister.
Houtan lets go of Sarah and Sarah retrieves her shirt. She
runs towards Austin giving him a hug, but Austin is still
giving a death stare to Houtan. Houtan stands up without a
shirt. His body is massive, complete six pack and a tattoo
on his chest that reads "Only God Can Judge Me" in Farsi.
How did you know that we're here?
Both men are silent and they're just staring at each other.
Austin is losing his cool and he wants to cause a rampage
right now.
Houtan laughs and pulls out his cigarette.
You don't want to fight me.
Austin does not reply. Houtan puts a cigarette in his mouth.
He gives a loud sigh.
      (to himself; in
       Farsi; with
Fuck. Hooman has my lighter
      (to Austin)
Can you do me a favor and get my
lighter? It's in his pocket.
Austin does not reply. Instead, he looks down at Hooman and
kicks him in the abdomen constantly.
Hey! Hey! Hey! What are you doing?
Austin looks back at Houtan BREATHING LIKE A BULL. Houtan
senses that he wants to fight and smiles.
Okay. I see. I see what you really
want. You really want to? I'll
give you a time of your life.
Houtan is getting ready. He is warming up his muscles and
his hands.


I told you bro. I don't want to
fight. You want to prove
Austin walks up to Houtan with rage.
You want to prove something to me?
Come here! Come to me! COME AT ME
Austin swings the first punch. Houtan loses balance and
Austin swings another punch, but Houtan counters with a
headbutt and kicks Austin down to the ground. Houtan rushes
to Austin, but Austin moves away. Austin takes his baseball
bat and swings it at Houtan, but Houtan grabs it and throws
it away. Austin kicks Houtan in the knee and pushes him to
the door causing the door to break.
Austin swings at Houtan, but Houtan pulls Austin on the
leftside and tackles him down the stairs.
Houtan is swinging at Austin, but Rez jumps on Houtan. Rez
is swinging punches on Houtan's back. Houtan runs Rez onto a
Ow! Okay. I'll stop! I'll stop!
I'm sorry!
Houtan squeezes the life out of Rez with his BEEFY ARMS.
Paul sees that Rez is in trouble and runs to the kitchen.
Paul is looking for anything that can help Rez and Austin.
      (stressing out)
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Paul opens the refrigerator and finds nothing. Paul opens
the freezer and finds something useful.


Austin is having trouble in getting up and Houtan is
squeezing the life out of Rez.
      (in pain)
My God! Oh my God! Help! Paul!
Anybody! Help!
Paul rushes back to the living room with a HUGE VODKA
      (yells at Paul)
Houtan turns around, unaware of Paul with a HUGE VODKA
      (yells at Paul)
Smash him in the FUCKING FACE,
Paul, instead of smashing Houtan with the vodka bottle, he
pours vodka all over Houtan. Houtan, lets go of Rez, losing
visual balance.
Take that! Take that Hoo-Tan!
Rez is on the ground in complete, agonizing pain.
      (to Paul)
Paul faces Rez.
Why didn't you smash him in the
I'm not wasting fifteen dollars!
Paul, unaware, gets slapped in the face by Houtan. Paul
drops and shatters the vodka bottle.


      (in a high-pitched
Houtan runs and attempts to tackle Paul. Paul screams in a
high-pitched, girly voice. Austin runs and tackles Houtan to
the wall, leaving the wall CRUSHED and RUINED.
Both men are devastated, tired, and in complete, utter pain.
Fuck. My arm.
Paul! Go to the kitchen and call
the cops!
Houtan wakes up and looks at Paul. Houtan is making an
effort to get up and grab Paul. Paul runs to the kitchen.
Paul is looking for the home phone.
Where is the fucking PHONE!?
Houtan is recovering and is trying to grab Paul's neck. Paul
freezes and looks at Houtan. Houtan looks back at Paul.
I'm going to bite your fucking
neck with my mouth.
Please! Don't! I hate vampires!
Houtan is chasing Paul in circles.
Please! I can't play this game!
You're way to quick for me! Look
at me! I'm fat! Cut me some slack!
Houtan is trying to trick Paul in moving in different
Austin! Rez! Austin!


Paul is way too slow for Houtan. Houtan grabs Paul in the
      (screams in a
Austin runs and picks Houtan up from his legs and shatters
his face on the wall. Austin attempts to tackle Houtan, but
Houtan carries Austin and throws him outside.
Paul retrieves the phone and calls 9-1-1.
Hello? I need help! I'm being
raped! Fuck! What's the address?
      (runs to Rez)
Rez! What's the address?
Houtan pulls Paul by hair. Paul screams in pain.
Say your sorry!
I'm sorry!
How sorry are you?!
I'm fucking sorry!
      (screams at Paul)
How sorry are you?!
I'm sorry as fuck!
How sorry?!
I'm sorry as fuck! Please don't
kill me! I'm sorry as fuck!
Funny fat boy.


Houtan throws Paul face first on the refrigerator. Paul
falls face first.
Sarah is trying to recover Austin and help him up, but
Houtan is walking to them with anger and frustration.
Austin! Get up!
Houtan grabs Sarah's hair.
      (to Austin)
Enough is enough! I may be a
thief. I may be a rapist. But
there is one thing you don't know
about me. I'll kill people if I
have to. And I'm going to kill
your sister right now.
An anonymous person pushes Houtan face first on the ground.
SARAH is amazed of who saved her life. A hand reaches out
for Sarah and it's TYLER. Tyler picks Sarah up, but Austin
is still knocked-out.
Are you okay?
Thank you.
Sarah looks at Tyler, but Houtan revives and she is
frightened automatically. She points at Houtan.
Tyler looks back and runs to Houtan. Houtan chokes Tyler and
headbutts him not once, but two times. Houtan lets go of
Tyler's neck and Tyler falls to the ground right next to
Austin. Both Austin and Tyler are knocked-out cold.
      (in Farsi; with
Come HERE!
Houtan slaps Sarah in the face again and it causes Sarah to
fall in the ground. Houtan grabs onto Sarah's hair and drags
her to the pool. Sarah screams causing the neighbors outside


to turn on the lights to see what's going on. They neighbors
are on the phone with the police.
Help! Help me please! Help me!
Houtan grabs Sarah's face and slaps it causing her to bruise
her eye. Sarah is crying and begging for mercy.
Please! Please!
Houtan drags Sarah's head and attempts to drown her.
Paul is walking to Austin; he is hardly walking straight. He
notices that Tyler is knocked out as well.
      (scratching his
Tyler? What the fuck?
Paul notices that Sarah is screaming for her life in the
pool area.
Paul rushes to the pool.
Houtan is attempting to drown Sarah by kneeling down and
dragging her head to the pool. Paul runs and tries to kick
Houtan, but Houtan in one hand, grabs Paul's foot. Houtan
lets go of Sarah and Sarah starts coughing excessively.
Houtan is holding Paul's foot and smiles.
I've always wanted to slaughter a
Paul spits a HUGE, YELLOW spit on Houtan's face. There is a
brief pause between both guys.


I'm sorry.
Houtan is furious and drops Paul's foot and grabs him by the
neck. Paul, then, grabs Houtan by the neck and drags Houtan
to a chair. Houtan sits on the chair.
Say you're sorry!
Paul moves in closer to Houtan. Paul's struggling for an
ounce of air, but he manages to stick out his tongue and
lick Houtan's mouth. Houtan is disgusted and let's go of
Paul. Paul, then, goes back and starts biting Houtan's
cheek. Houtan is screaming in pain.
Who's sorry now! Say your sorry!
Say it!
Houtan pushes Paul away and slaps him in the face. Paul
loses his balance and Rez comes to Houtan with a lighter and
lights his face. Houtan's face is on fire and he starts
screaming in terror and torture.
Houtan runs to the pool, but Rez kicks him in his back
forcing him Houtan to hit face first on the corner of the
pool causing his face to burst out blood. Houtan is lying on
the pool, face down, face is completely cooled off; steam is
rising above him. Houtan's blood is spreading around the
Rez, Sarah, and Paul are looking at Houtan's dead body.
Do you think he's dead?
He has to be. You can see his soul
leaving his body.
Paul points at the steam, referring it as "Houtan's soul".
      (stressing out)
That's not his soul, Paul! That's
the steam. He can't be dead.


Then poke him if he's still alive.
Rez walks to the side of the pool.
Actually don't.
Why not? He'll grab my feet and
kill me? Right?
No. You shouldn't be playing with
the dead. Leave him alone.
He's not dead! Don't say that!
Paul walks to Rez.
It's not a bad thing. Don't worry.
Rez starts to cry.
You did this out of self-defense.
Paul gives Rez a hug and kisses him on the forehead.
You did a good job.
Austin and Tyler, across from each other, are looking at
each other and breathing hesitantly.
You came.
I started to think. This girl was
a hoe. She ended up a hoe. But you
forever will be my bro. It's like
Bros before Hoes, but if I had a


                       TYLER (cont'd)
true girlfriend, she comes first.
You know?
I want to last a long time with my
girlfriend. I want an actual
commitment. You and I. We're two
different people. I realized that
if you fucked her, without her
thinking that she has a boyfriend,
then that makes her a complete
Dude. Just forget about her. She's
nothing. She's as useless as a
Justin Beiber CD. Just throw that
piece of shit in the garbage.
Start planning something to get
her back though.
What do you mean?
Get your revenge on her!
Revenge? Nah, Nah. I'm too lazy
for that. I'm just going to sit
back and let Karma fuck her up.
Police sirens are heard. Austin sticks out his hand.
I hope we're cool.
Tyler reaches for Austin's hand and gives him a bro-shake.
We're cool.
Austin pulls Tyler closer and gives him a TIGHT and FRIENDLY


Rez, Tyler, Austin, Paul, and Sarah are outside of Austin's
house. There are the police, the ambulance and firetrucks
around. Houtan's body is being taken away by the coroner.
OFFICER HALL, an African-American police officer, around
early 30's walk to Austin in a upset and disappointed mood.
Officer Hall. Let me just explain
                       OFFICER HALL
I don't want to hear it Austin.
You really disappointed me
tonight. I trusted you man! You
told our department that you were
hosting a bat mitzvah and you told
me personally that nothing bad was
going to happen. Where did you go
when the Persians arrived?
Austin sighs and puts his hand over his head. He doesn't
really know what to say.
My friends and I went to that
house under construction on Alpine
and Sunset...
                       OFFICER HALL
It's abandoned. It's not really
under construction. What were you
doing there?
Austin is choked up and he doesn't really know how to tell
his trusted law enforcement friend what he did at the
abandoned house.
We. We. Shit, it's really hard for
me to explain.
                       OFFICER HALL
Listen. Whatever you did, I hope
you learned from your mistake.
Austin nods his head.
We had pot brownies.
Officer Hall is dumbstruck.


We thought it was a good idea to
escape for a little bit before we
get back to the party.
                       OFFICER HALL
Austin! You can't do that shit
anymore! You need to stop! Start
taking some responsibility in your
action. You threw a party, you
can't just leave your house and
cause a wreck to it. What will
your parents do to you?
Punish the shit out of me.
                       OFFICER HALL
That's right. You caused thousands
of dollars worth of damage inside
your house!
I know, man. Shit. I fucked up. I
learned from this whole
experience. I saw my little sister
get nearly raped and I almost
fucking died. Okay. I
                       OFFICER HALL
      (sighs briefly)
Camyar, Hooman, and Farbod have
warrants on their record. They'll
be going to jail for a very long
time. Even longer if your sister
Farbod is handcuffed and being carried to the police car
when Hooman and Camyar are being carried out by stretchers.
I just wanted to throw a
graduation celebration party, you
                       OFFICER HALL
And these fuckers have to come on
by and literally wreck my whole
fucking house!


                       OFFICER HALL
I'm going to have to tell my
parents about all this, right?
                       OFFICER HALL
The party, the brownie, the rape,
the murder?
                       OFFICER HALL
Fuck. Alright.
                       OFFICER HALL
You know I trusted you man. I'm
going to give you another chance.
You went through hell right now.
Seeing your sister raped, near
death-experience, I get it. Just
don't do this shit again. And I
expect a lot more from you in
college, alright?
Thanks Hall. I appreciate it.
                       OFFICER HALL
I'm just looking out for you.
Officer Hall gives Austin a quick hug and they both leave
separate ways. Austin walks back to Rez, Tyler, Paul and
Let's go.
Austin, Paul, Tyler, Rez and Sarah are walking back home.
      (to Austin)
Hey. Is it cool if I sleep over?


Yeah, dude. You're always
Thanks. You still have more of
those ice cream sandwiches?
Your munchies are craving in right
Austin opens the front door.
I'm actually down for the baked
chewy cookies.
Fuck yes. Tastes so good right
Yeah. I can actually taste it
right now. Tastes like a wet
Make whatever you want. I'm going
to clean up the house a little.
Then, when you guys are done
eating and shit. Meet me in the
living room.
      (to Austin)
Hey Austin?
What's up?
Um. I'm just wondering as well. I
mean if I can sleep over and all.
If you don't want me to, I can
just go to my car and sleep for


                       PAUL (cont'd)
the night.
No, dude. You can sleep over. I
think I told you this earlier.
It's alright.
Paul, Tyler, and Rez are sitting in the couch with a HUGE
plate of baked chocolate chip cookies. Tyler and Rez are
eating the cookies together when Paul is putting all his
attention on Austin.
Okay. For sleeping arrangements,
there is only a bed in my room. So
one of you have to sleep on the
floor. And the other has to sleep
on the couch.
Paul raises his hand.
I would like to sleep on the couch
But...It's has Kool-Aid stains and
I don't like smelling Kool-Aid
when I'm sleeping.
Paul points out a RED mark on the couch. Rez and Tyler digs
in closer to see what it is. It's a period stain.
I don't think that's a Kool-Aid
Paul puts his nose in closer to the RED mark.