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Cause Your'e a Customer
by jeffrey shepherd (jcsblaq1@aol.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

A story of a man who gets robbed by his cab driver on the way to an interview, now he has to work for the same cab company to get his rent money up


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. A PINK BUILDING A SIGN READS " SEX SALES" - DAY
                                                            
 
INT. A STORE FILLED WITH SEX TOYS AND OUTFITS - DAY
                                                            
A fat man 60ish is standing front of a mirror modeling some
leather ass less chaps. MAX a 29 year old SALESMAN is on the
floor. He's very uncomfortable as the man is modeling back
and forth unsure of the outfit.
                                                            
                       OLD MAN1
      (shaking his head)
I' m not sure if this the right
color for my skin,I don't tan that
well
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Looking sick)
                                                            
NOVELLA in her 40's Hispanic woman the owner of the shop and
Max's girlfriend's mother is looking at Max waving at him to
straighten up and make the sell
                                                            
                       MAX
      (back to focus)
oh yeah that looks good it goes
well, you still have a little
tanning in the cracks, look will
that be all?
                                                            
                       OLD MAN1
yes, that's all can I wear these
out
                                                            
MAX rushes him out
                                                            
                       MAX
by all means we'll put it on your
charge
                                                            
Max turns around to find Novella staring at him angrily
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
I need to talk to you
                                                            
they walk past a hall of hanging sex toys and plastic ass
hanging so low they always manage to smack Max in the face.
they get to her office. the office is filled with more sex
toys ,liquids,nighties you name it.
                                                            

2.

                       NOVELLA
I'm missing 3 dildos and 6 Suzy
Blew do you know what happened to
them
                                                            
                       MAX
what, no I don't know what happen
to your dildos
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
if I find out you been stealing
from
                                                            
                       MAX
      (interupting)
what do you hear what your saying
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
      (suspious look)
                                                            
                       MAX
you know Bad enough I got to come
here every morning and get dong
cocked no pun intended by your
novelty sex toys why do you have
these hanging put them in a box.
like I keep asking you
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
I do that, then they go missing. I
want them where I can see them.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (guilty turned to
       yeling)
you know what you got me all this
time you thought I was walking out
of here with an erection, no I was
stuffing dildos down my pants
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
      (convinced)
I knew it!!!
                                                            
                       MAX
it's not to it's not too late for
me you know I dealt with you and
running this hell whole for over
10 years
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
what you going to do go back to
school become that lawyer you was
going to be before you got my
            (MORE)

3.

                       NOVELLA (cont'd)
daughter pregnant and dropped out.
                                                            
                       MAX
it's not to late. Jashon is a
little older now
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
you been working for me since you
were 18, now your 29. you'll be
here all your life working for me.
Sponging off me
                                                            
                       MAX
yeah that was my plan get your
daughter pregnant, quit school and
instead of being a lawyer, I'll
work in a perverted sex toy shop
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
be grateful all your good for is
stocking ass ticklers, which is
another subject
                                                            
Max takes off his sex sales apron and condom hat
                                                            
                       MAX
really you think so. I quit I'm
going back to school. I'm getting
my degree then I'll be back to
shine it in your faces
                                                            
Max walks out the office through string of hang rubber
dildos and out the door
                                                            
                       NOVELLA (O.S.)
      (laughter)
                                                            
 
INT. 2 YEARS LATER IN AN OFFICE WAITING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Max is in a quiet waiting room with magazines on the table.
MRS. WILSON a women secretary is sitting at her desk
listening to her IPOD while the phone is ringing, she
ignores it

Across the room there is glass door with a shadow figure of
a man going back and fourth on the phone. MAX is sitting in
a rather small uncomfortable seat dressed in a dark blue
suit eagerly awaiting a decision

MAX picks up a magazine. The title reads ELEPHANT
ACCIDENTALLY TAKES VIAGRA ERECTION FOR TWO DAYS Max turns

4.

magazine upside down

The door opens and for seconds nothing happens, then a voice
calls fom the other room
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
      (yelling to the
       other room)
yes come in please
                                                            
Max walks into the office. There is a man sitting there at
his desk in suit he reaches to shake Max hand
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
      (smiling)
Hello Max John Wackoff,please to
meet
                                                            
                       MAX
      (controlling
       laughter)
Nice to meet you Mr. Wackoff
                                                            
                       MAX
My pleasure as well sir,I brought
a copy of my
                                                            
Mr. Wackoff grabs the paper walks around his desk and
towards a door in his office.He opens the door to a private
bathroom. He pulls his pants down and sits on the toilet
while reading his resume.
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
mmm interesting. You have your
degree at St. John very good
                                                            
sounds of farts and crap dropping
                                                            
                       MAX
      (feeling awkward)
yes,sir
                                                            
Mr. Wackoff suddenly takes Max resume and wipes his ass with
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
that's what I think of resume's
Max.
                                                            
                       MAX
you should have told me I would've
put it on toilet paper
                                                            
Max burst out laughing.
                                                            

5.

Mr. Wackoff puts his pants on. MAX walks over by the sink
but Mr. Wackoff walks right out the door to his desk.
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
what are you here for Max. Are you
here to make me successful Max.
                                                            
                       MAX
By all means
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
good I need you to learn to be a
good liar.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (confused)
you lawyer sir?
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
I know what I said you I know you
know the law but I have bills to
pay I need to win cases
                                                            
                       MAX
well I can I lie like my it smells
nice in here, what kind of lemon
pledge does you cleaning lady use
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
you got it congratulations
                                                            
                       MAX
I got the job
                                                            
                       MAX (slowmotion)
      (shakes hands with
       him excited but
       quickly notice)
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Now it's very important that
you be here at 9:15 A.M
                                                            
                       MAX
Yes sir 9:15
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Listen to me; if you're not here
at 9:15 A.M don't bother to come.
We don't usually hire someone who
just graduated
                                                            

6.

                       MAX
Yes sir I really appreciate this
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
well welcome to the team Max
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Mr. John is fine
                                                            
                       MAX
I won't let you down
                                                            
THEY WALK OUT TO THE HALL
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Good, Mrs. Wilson did I get
any calls
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
      (emotionaless)
Not in the last hour
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Good
                                                            
He walks back in the office. The phone rings again she sits
there staring at
                                                            
Max again as he gets in the elevator. There's a lady
drinking a big bottle of water, Max grabs it out her hand
and pours in all over his hands
                                                            
 
EXT. IN FRONT OF OFFICE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max is trying to hail a taxi. He takes out his cell phone to
make a call to his best friend Bootleg 32, works at the zoo
as an Feces Maintenance Technician
                                                            
 
INT. ZOO GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
there's a crowd of people held back in a roped off area. One
particular family are standing together holding a woman up

BOOTLEG hears his cell phone A rapper RINGTONE playing SHAKE
THAT ASS BABY a woman is standing next to him with her kids,
she quickly move away
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Ay yo what's up man this is a bad
time man
                                                            

7.

                       MAX
What happened?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Can't talk, tell you when you get
here, Are you on your way?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah man, I 'm hailing a cab
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
How did the interview go?
                                                            
                       MAX
Good I got the job. I will start
at the firm next week, but
tomorrow will seal the deal. I'm
in, so after my meeting we
celebrating
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
oh that's great man
                                                            
                       MAX
Look let me catch this cab
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Ok, see you when you get here
                                                            
Max hangs up and hails a cab. A cab with the letters QUICK
CAB stops.

Max gets in the cab.
                                                            
                       MAX
To the zoo please
                                                            
AT THE ZOO
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER
That will be $10.75 sir.
                                                            
Max pulls out a change purse and starts counting change.
                                                            
5 MINUTES LATER STILL COUNTING
                                                            
                       MAX

10.66,10.67,10.68,10.69,10.70,10.71,10.72,10.73,10.74,10.74
Oh and here is your tip
                                                            

8.

                       CAB DRIVER
Fifth-teen cent, what is this the
1930's?
                                                            
The cab driver violently throws his change back at him.
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER
I can't wipe my ass with this
                                                            
                       MAX
You need to wipe some
speed stick under your arms when
you throw that change i can smell
all that
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER
out of my cab asshole, get out of
my cab.
                                                            
cab driver speeds off. Max walks until he gets to where
Bootleg's at
                                                            
Crowd looking on the roped area at the glass leopard cage
and the family is still crying while BOOTLEG is trying to
console them
                                                            
                       MAX
What happened man?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Larry went and got drunk lunch
time when he came back he was so
drunk went in to clean the cage
without checking
                                                            
                       MAX
don't tell me
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Ate his ass like the last supper
and now I'm just waiting
                                                            
                       MAX
for what?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I just gave him a laxative. This
should be quick, The family wants
to keep the remains.
                                                            
                       MAX
In what?
                                                            

9.

Bootleg picks up a urn
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
In this?
                                                            
                       MAX
Man is you for real? Well handle
your business so we can go
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Soon as he does his I think he's
going now
                                                            
The leopard starts taking a dump, the back door opens and
the leopards go inside. Goatey enters the cage and proceeded
to scoop up Larry who is now leopard shit in an urn.

The family is outside watching and crying louder as Larry is
being shovel into the urn. Goatey comes out holding it and
there is shit on the side of it

he wipes it on his uniform and gave it to them
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Sorry for your lost. Here he's
kind of heavy
                                                            
O.S. The sounds of flies
                                                            
the family take the urn and proceed out
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
      (Yelling to them)
Let me know when the funeral?
                                                            
                       MAX
You not, I know you going to
change that.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I didn't bring a change of
clothes.
                                                            
                       MAX
Damn you really fucking up, come
on
                                                            
They start walking to the bus stop, Goatey takes out his
cell. There is a picture of angry woman
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Yo, man Charmaina sent me a text
from Florida.
                                                            

10.

                       MAX
Goatey she left you two guys
ago,had five kids, three by one
guy, two by the other, six years
ago, let it gooooo!
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
She still is sending me a picture
text.
                                                            
Goatey cell shows a pic of a woman putting up a middle
finger
                                                            
                       MAX
Okay one you really need help and
two they are not going to let us
on the bus with the shit, I mean
Larry stain on you.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
It's cool, man.
                                                            
They reach the bus stop two other people are there
                                                            
                       MAX
You know we getting thrown off
right?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Man watch this
                                                            
The bus stops 2 people got on first. Goatey and Max follows.
                                                            
the door closed, then it immediately opens with Max and
Goatey flying down the stairs.
                                                            
                       BUS DRIVER
      (angry)
Get off my damn bus
                                                            
The door shuts and the bus pulls off
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Yelling)
I told you they wasn't letting us
on
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Then we'll catch a cab
                                                            
They both hail down a cab one pulls over. Max carefully
looks inside
                                                            
 

11.

EXT. SMALL BRICK BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
They in front of a their house where Max and Goatee are
renting rooms CAB DRIVER 2 turns to the back seat
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
21 Elm St.
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER 2
That's 22.50
                                                            
Max and Goatey both pull out change purses and starts
counting.
                                                            
                       MAX
Okay I got dimes and nickels
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I'll count up the quarters
                                                            
The cab driver is aggravated. They get out and walk to the
front door. Max puts keys in and opens the door
                                                            
 
INT. A LOBBY OF A ROOMING APARTMENT BUILDING - EVENING
                                                            
There's an old recliner chair and a table with a lamp and
mail on it
                                                            
PEACHES THE LANDLORD is vacuuming under a chair She's
wearing see thru spandex with huge funny color underwear Max
quickly closes the door
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh shit, Peaches is here and she
vacuuming that means she searching
for here rent.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Well, I'm good.
                                                            
                       MAX
Well I'm not, not until tomorrow I
got to get that job first then I
can borrow it from moms.At least
she'll know I'm able to pay it
back
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Well let's go in while she still
got her back turned
                                                            

12.

They open the door PEACHES under the chair shaking from
vacuuming MAX AND GOATEY SNEAKING IN PEACHES turns vacuum
off and gets up. She sees Max and GOATEY trying to sneak in
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Well, well Hey Max baby how you
feel today
                                                            
She grabs Max by the nuts hard.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Awkward)
Peaches hey
                                                            
                       PEACHES
So you got that job yet
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah it went well tomorrow I
start
                                                            
                       PEACHES
      (interupting)
Or we can take care of the rent
another way
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
      (smirk)
I'm down for whatever
                                                            
                       PEACHES
      (angry)
Please food stamp boy have my
rent.Yeah I'm going to have you
one of these days.
                                                            
She grabs Max in a tight hug Goatey holding her from the
back
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Oh no you did not
                                                            
O.C. loud scream Peaches whipping Goatee's ass while Max
sneak in his room
                                                            
Max turns on the light and T.V., takes his cell out to call
his son JASHON.
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
JASHON is sitting at the table doing his homework when he
gets a ring
                                                            

13.

                       MAX
What's up big poppa
                                                            
                       JASHON
Hey dad!
                                                            
                       MAX
How's my little man
                                                            
                       JASHON
Hey I thought I was big poppa
                                                            
                       MAX
Oops my bad
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA (O.S.)
Jashon who you talking to when you
should be studying
                                                            
                       JASHON
      (Yelling to her)
Ah no one, just dad
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA (O.S.)
I want to talk to him
                                                            
                       JASHON
      (Yelling to her)
Ok
                                                            
                       JASHON (cont'd)
I hate it here
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah…I know man I miss my family
too!
                                                            
                       JASHON
Doesn't feel like family anymore
                                                            
                       MAX
Well you know son families come in
many different forms, Ours is
number 16 in the family book
whatever that is God don't make No
mistakes we suppose be here,
family still family
                                                            
                       JASHON
Family still family
                                                            
                       MAX
Family still family
                                                            

14.

                       MAX (and)
      (JASHON)
Family they should name it Damily
                                                            
                       JASHON
So dad you coming to career day
tomorrow?
                                                            
                       MAX
wow that's tomorrow, is was hoping
I'd be a lawyer by today but I
have a third interview tomorrow.
So I'll be over to announce it
                                                            
                       JASHON
I knew you was going to do it you
got your degree and showed
everyone
                                                            
                       MAX
just hope they hire me
                                                            
                       JASHON
they will, beside I already told
them your a lawyer
                                                            
                       MAX
ok then I won't let you down
                                                            
CHRISTINA snatch the cell out of Jashon's hand along with
NOVELLA standing next to her
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
      (Loud)
Max
                                                            
Novella snatch the cell out her hand
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
What do you want
                                                            
                       MAX
Hi Christine, Noseyella
                                                            
                       NOVELLA
You going to stop calling me
Nosella , Dead beat Dad
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Yelling at her)
Hey wicked witch of the east did
you get 24 pack of Poland Spring
share it with your sister
                                                            

15.

                       NOVELLA
hey what happen lawyer
                                                            
                       MAX
don't worry I got this so stick
your
                                                            
Christine takes the cell back
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Mama I got this
                                                            
                       MAX
Why can't to say hello to my son
without all this
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
He's doing his homework any way.
You wanted to go fulfill your
dreams. Me I stayed the rest of
the 2 years raising him.
                                                            
                       MAX
only 2 years I didn't want to work
for your mother all my life. I did
what you want , it was time to be
my own man
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
what about me
                                                            
                       MAX
I did what you want you wanted me
out I got to do what I gotta do
                                                            
She hangs up
                                                            
Max hangs his cell up and prays before going to sleep
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Early morning The sun is peeking thru 4 broken shades, The
alarm clock rings
                                                            
Max gets out of bed. He looks out the door to make sure the
bathroom is clear He gathers the stuff he needs soaps, tooth
paste, towel, and wash cloth.
                                                            
The door opening. He runs to the bathroom.
                                                            
A BIG MAN is closing the bathroom door
                                                            

16.

                       MAX
      (banging on the
       door)
Let me get in there man I gotta
get to an interview
                                                            
Max is pacing, He walks back to his room and close the door
                                                            
O.C. door opening
                                                            
THE BIG MAN going in his room. Max goes running in the
bathroom. He quickly comes running out He runs back to his
room door
                                                            
(slow motion)He comes out in with 8 thick incense swing
like Conan

Max in his room. He is dressed ready to go. He opens the
door REHAB REG standing in the hall. He sweating and dirty
                                                            
                       REHAB REG
      (Phony laugh,
       street slang)
Wassup mizaxx, dam baby what's
good? Where you headed man
                                                            
                       MAX
Interview, when did you get out?
                                                            
                       REHAB REG
      (sceeming)
An hour ago, so are you going to
be out all day?
                                                            
Max eyebrows rise
                                                            
                       MAX
You know what I'll be back.
                                                            
Max goes back into his room and get an envelope underneath
his mattress that says RENT MONEY he takes it and leaves
                                                            
 
EXT. CONVIENCE STORE PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The GHETTO GREETERS are practicing their lines and opening
the door

Max is trying to get in the store
                                                            

17.

                       GHETTO GREETERS
      (dual dialogue,
       Courteous)
Good morning nice day today
                                                            
Max gets in the store, Max gets what he needs and goes to
the counter
                                                            
                       COUNTER PERSON
Ok, that will be 4.31 .69 is your
change
                                                            
O.C.(echo) change dropping in Max hands the bums quickly
perk up. Max comes out the store
                                                            
                       GHETTO GREETERS
Excuse me sir can you spare some
of that change
                                                            
they start doing tricks, dancing. Max throws the change up
in the air and starts running he gets around the corner when
he sees a CAB DRIVER getting ready to get in his cab

Max is running for the cab
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Yelling)
Wait I need a cab stop
                                                            
The cab driver quickly gets in the cab Max jumps in.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (smiling,breathing
       hard)
Whew glad I caught you, listen I
need a ride downtown
                                                            
 
INT. FLASHBACK-IN THE CAB - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
the same guy in the driver seat. CAB DRIVER 2 is in the cab
having lunch when this ROBBER gets in the back seat.
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
How you doing today
                                                            
                       PAT THE CAB
sorry I'm on lunch
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
Oh don't let me stop you just hand
over your cash
                                                            

18.

a guy is in the back seat holding a gun
                                                            
                       PAT THE CAB
      (scared)
Ah man don't shoot I just got on
all I got is $26
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
$26 gets out of the cab
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER (cont'd)
1st Pop the trunk
                                                            
The cab driver pops the trunk open CAB DRIVER and ROBBER
walk to the back closely
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
Get in
                                                            
the robber pistol whips him

O.S.: (yelling) Wait I need a cab stop
                                                            
BACK TO PRESENT
                                                            
Max gets in the cab
                                                            
                       MAX
Whew glad I caught you, listen I
need ride downtown
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
Listen, I'm on lunch and I was
going to use the
                                                            
                       MAX
      (interupting)
Ok I know what this is about it
that change thing the other day
Well I got money today see that.
                                                            
Max shows an envelope with rent money in it, the robber
smirks
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah that's right I can leave you
at least a dollar tip today two
dollars
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
      (Looking in the
       rearview)
For you of course
                                                            

19.

The robber drives to a quiet spot he pulls out a gun
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER (cont'd)
You know what I'm going to need my
tip right now.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (scared)
Oh ok, dam you guys are real
touchy about your tips
                                                            
He throws up two dollars.
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
      (angry)
All of it let's go before I give
you some heavy metal tips
                                                            
Max throws the rest of the money up front
                                                            
                       MAX
      (hysterical)
That's my rent
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
Shut up and get in the trunk… wait
don't move until I get around the
corner
                                                            
The robber runs out of the cab. Max starts chasing him down
the street Max trips over garbage cans and tears his jacket

the robber hears his fall and turns around and starts
chasing Max

Max starts running back to the cab. He gets in the cab and
speeds off
                                                            
                       MAX
Wow good move chase a man with a
gun Oh shit, my third interview
I'm late
                                                            
He drives the cab to the office
                                                            
PARTNERS OFFICE BUILDING
                                                            
He sees them leaving and pulls in front of Mr. Head and the
PARTNERS with his suit torn up.
                                                            

20.

                       MAX
      (Heavy breathing)
I got robbed on the way here so
shall we?
                                                            
The Partners keep walking
                                                            
                       MAX
Mr. Head listen I worked really
hard to get this interview
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
      (Frowning)
                                                            
Max is standing there in a torn suit, and defeated look

He walks back to the cab
                                                            
O.S. Max hears the DISPATCHER
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN (O.C.)
Pat, where are you I have a pick
up at the mall
                                                            
Max picks up the two-way.
                                                            
                       MAX
Pat just robbed me
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Who is this?
                                                            
                       MAX
Max Jenkins
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
When did I hire a Max Jenkins
                                                            
                       MAX
You didn't Your cab driver robbed
me now someone owes me some money.
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Are you driving?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yes
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Can you do a pick up at the mall?
                                                            

21.

                       MAX
No, I can't do a pick up at the
mall Listen where is your office?
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
It's on 36 Martin Luther King
Blvd.
                                                            
 
EXT. CAB PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
the cab pulls into the office parking lot. 5 or 6 cabs are
parked He gets out the cab and starts to walking to the
dispatch office
                                                            
O.C. noise coming from the trunk
                                                            
Max runs over opens the trunk and PAT THE CAB DRIVER comes
out and furiously walks over to DAN THE DISPATCHER
                                                            
                       PAT THE CAB
      (angry)
I quit this mother shitting job
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
      (Correcting his
       cussing)
Mother fucking job
                                                            
                       PAT THE CAB
Dam you ass fuck, shit
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Really Pat you been in this
country this long and you still
don't curse Properly in a sentence
                                                            
                       PAT THE CAB
Kiss my tokas
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
That's better
                                                            
Pat takes his hot plate and walk off
                                                            
DISPATCH DAN is a trans gender who still has a heavy voice.
He's dressed in tight skirt and hairy legs

he's at his desk filled with hundreds of pieces of paper.
He's screaming at some cab driver name OTIS. OTIS is a 65
year old who's hard of hearing and smokes a lot of weed
                                                            

22.

                       DISPATCHER DAN
OTIS where are you?
                                                            
                       OTIS (O.S.)
I'm a at the town hall
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
The mall I said, they been waiting
an hour, please hurry
                                                            
he turns to Max. Max looks in ultimate shock
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
how can I help you?
                                                            
                       OTIS (O.C.)
      (interupting)
Ok I'm putting it on my GPS where
in Jersey
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Please hurry please hurry not
Jersey my God, how can I help you
                                                            
                       MAX
Who was that in the trunk?
                                                            
                       OTIS (O.C.)
If you want me to hurry you got to
give me the Jersey directions
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
The mall, hurry to the mall
                                                            
                       OTIS (O.C.)
Ok so cancel Jersey?
                                                            
DISPATCH DAN turns down the 2-way
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
How can I help you
                                                            
                       MAX
who robbed me? I need answers
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Yeah it's been happening lately
can't catch him
                                                            

23.

                       MAX
So what now I lost a job, a
potential job My rent is due and
your cab company robbed me, man I
can't sleep with Peaches
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Wait one we didn't rob you. It was
definitely an outside job. Two, I
can use a driver if you need you
make some quick money
                                                            
                       MAX
I can't drive a cab
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Come on I can use the help
                                                            
                       OTIS (O.C.)
Okay I just got on the George
Washington Bridge
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
See what I'm dealing with?
                                                            
                       MAX
No that's ok
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Have a nice time driving Miss
Peaches
                                                            
Max in the cab. He's pulling out of the cab garage. He
notices the cab is a really dirty red rose color with
letters QUICK CAB on the sides
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Feeling the
       dashboard)
This cab is dirty man nobody is
going to want to ride in this
                                                            
O.C. TWO-WAY noise
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Hey what's your name anyway?
                                                            
                       MAX
Max
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Ok Max your Cab 16. Take it to the
car washes 1st then go over on
Overton turnpike. After that I
            (MORE)

24.

                       DISPATCHER DAN (cont'd)
want you to pick up a couple of
guys up on 223 Lantern St. They
are heading to the gym over at the
Sunnydale Mall then you'll pick
them back up in an hour, you got
that?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah go over to Overton for the
car
wash, then Sunnydale Mall, and
then pick up
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
No man, write it down, there
should be couple of pads under the
seat
                                                            
Max looks under the seat and pulls out the pads
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok go ahead
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Charge them $15 and 2 dollars for
every person
                                                            
                       MAX
ok
                                                            
Max pulls into the car wash. He gets out the cab and the
guys starts working on it He walks in and gives the guy the
ticket at the cash register. The Cab comes out in time nice
and shiny. Max gets in and drives off
                                                            
 
EXT. 223 LANTERN ST - DAY
                                                            
Max blows the horn, a hot looking WOMAN walks out (slow
motion)
She gets on a motorcycle and speeds away. 4 over 300 Pd.
people come walking out the door toward the cab
                                                            
                       MAX
      (scared)
                                                            
The door opens and the 1st MAN huge butt cheeks are seen
trying to squeezes inside.
                                                            
                       2ND MAN
Come on man you taking all day
                                                            

25.

                       1 ST MAN
Shut up Yo, Edward help him me
                                                            
He squeezes in the back Everyone is the cab over crowded.
The biggest one in front with Max and he's almost out the
window
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Gasping)
Ok so you're going to the
Sunnydale Mall?
                                                            
THE CAB ARRIVES AT THE MALL. MAX FALLS OUT OF HIS DOOR
                                                            
                       MAX
      (on the ground)
Ok that will be $15 plus twenty
$26
                                                            
                       2ND MAN
Don't forget to pick us up in an
hour, hour and a half.
                                                            
                       MAX
Looking forward to it
                                                            
Max hears his cell phone ringing.
                                                            
                       MAX
Hey jay what's going on little
man?
                                                            
                       JASHON
Hey dads are you still coming to
my school for career day?
                                                            
                       MAX
Max that's today… that's today of
course I'm coming right now
                                                            
                       JASHON
Yeah they're putting Lester's dad
in your place. So please hurry.
                                                            
                       MAX
Coming right now, son
                                                            
Max hangs up and heads to the school

on the way there is a guy selling lettering shirts on the
side of the highway. Max buys one and speeds off
                                                            

26.

AT JASHON'S SCHOOL
                                                            
Max parks gets out and changes his rip shirt into a long
t-shirt shirt with a girls body in a bikini on with no head
                                                            
                       MAX
      (talking to self)
what the, man what did you buy
                                                            
 
INT. IN THE CLASS ROOM - DAY
                                                            
THE TEACHER is at her desk. All the kids eyes are up front.
A MAN LESTER'S DAD is standing in front and on the side of
the classroom a shopping cart filled with crap to sell
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
A now we will hear from Lester's
Dad, say's here He's a
                                                            
She looks at her notes
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
BONAFIDE HUSTLER, a what
                                                            
The class room claps as he roles his shopping cart out to
the center
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD
Hello, my name is Lester Myles
Some of you might remember me as
lessee less rapper from the 80's
                                                            
No response from the class
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD (cont'd)
I sold one record "In the flesh
lessee less in the flesh.
                                                            
No response from the class.
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD
Well ever since the record label
refused to sign me and security
threw me out, while I was on the
stairs picking up my cds he pulls
out a cigarette
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
      (annoyed)
Um sorry no smoking
                                                            

27.

                       LESTER'S DAD
Hold on darling just trying to
make a point don't get your thong
all bunched up.
                                                            
Teacher (looking inappropriate)
Lester dad holding up a cigarette
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD
I said yo I only got 2 more left.
That man said to me I'll pay for
it it inspired start my own
business.
                                                            
He starts passing out cigarettes to the kids.
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD
Now don't you smoke those until
you get in like 7th grade I
believe it's the 7th now any way
I'm lessee les the loosey man I
sell bootleg and loosey's.
                                                            
The panicky teacher snatches the cigarettes out of the kid's
hand, One kid is examining an xxx video.
                                                            
                       LESTER'S DAD
Careful with that, that's a hot
seller, any ways you can catch me
at the bodegas or call I'll get
to you that's just a bike cycle
away
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
Well thank you, Mr. Lester for
your presentation, class take a
few minutes while I thoroughly
interview our next guest.
                                                            
The teacher grabs Max by the arm and pulls him out the room.
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
What do you do?
                                                            
                       MAX
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
      (sarcastic)
It's career day! What do you do
for a living?
                                                            

28.

                       MAX
Well I'm not working right now,
I was supposed to be a lawyer
this morning and that fell through
I got robbed by the cab driver so
now I'm not going that
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
so let;s get this straight your at
career day without a job?
                                                            
                       MAX
yes
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
wow this get's better. So what are
you doing here?
                                                            
                       MAX
I just got a job, I forgot I'm a
cabdriver
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
You forgot you're a cab driver
decent enough did you see what I
just had? Ok just come on. You
might need to get off drugs and
find a nice bible base church
                                                            
She pulls Max into the class room
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok quiet down I want to introduce
our next guest It's Jason's dad
Mr. Jenkins
                                                            
Max walks to the front and the class starts laughing at his
shirt
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
      (reading from
       paper)
Quiet down says he's a cab driver
                                                            
                       STUDENT 1
I thought you said he was a big
time lawyer
                                                            
Everyone in class starts laughing
                                                            
JASHON AND HIS DAD ARE OUT IN THE HALLWAY
                                                            

29.

                       MAX
A cab driver, you went on your
school to become a cab
driver? What happen to the
lawyer we was going to show
everyone
                                                            
                       MAX
Short story man I got robbed on
the way there?
                                                            
                       JASHON
You got robbed on the way there,by
who?
                                                            
                       MAX
The cab driver
                                                            
                       JASHON
that's not how that works; people
usually rob the cab driver. And
why do you want to work there
again
                                                            
                       MAX
I don't want to work there
man.It's just for now you gotta
get back to class. I love you
                                                            
                       JASHON
Are you picking me up?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah ok
                                                            
THE TEACHER IN FRONT OF THE CLASS READING FROM THE PAPER
                                                            
                       MRS FONTANE
Ok next we have Joey's Mead's dad.
oh says he's a film star. very
good class let's give a warm
welcome to Mr' Mead
                                                            
JOEY MEAD'S DAD a muscular man wearing a tight loud gym
outfit walks to the front of the class
                                                            
                       JOEY MEAD'S DAD
Hi I'm Joey Mead dad Gerod Mead,
And I'm the start in 5 nationwide
porn film
                                                            

30.

                       LESTER'S DAD
I know you I sell your movies on
bootlegs'. President Bad Cock "O"
hedaBoma" "It's Baloney at the
Top"is selling huge
                                                            
Teacher keels over ready to faint
                                                            
MAX IS IN THE CAB
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
CAB 16 Where are you?
                                                            
                       MAX
I'm waiting on you to give me a
call man.
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Well here it is, go to 39 Roswell
Ave.
                                                            
                       MAX
Where is that?
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Down in the village it's in a
gated area on the north side.
You're picking up 2 people; one is
going to 1694 Linden Ave The other
one is going to Chappell Hill Blvd
at the Mercedes Dealership. You're
going to collect $12 from the one
going to Linden Ave and $6 for the
guy going to the dealership. You
got that?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah I got it. I'm writing it
                                                            
                       MAX
      (talking to self)
1694 Linden Ave why that sounds
so familiar sounds like where
Christine works
                                                            
MAX cell phone rings Goatee has a sandwich in his hand
sharing with a monkey
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Yo man where you at?
                                                            
                       MAX
driving a cab
                                                            

31.

                       BOOTLEG
You what… driving a cab! Why are
you driving a Cab? Why are you not
sitting in a lawyer's office, not
facing a charge but charging
people facing charges?
                                                            
                       MAX
I got robbed on the way to the
interview by the Cab driver so I
was too late to make it.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
You got robbed by the cab driver
                                                            
                       MAX
yes
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Well how much did he charge
                                                            
                       MAX
He wasn't the real cabdriver, he
was the robber who robber the
original cab driver and pretended
to be The original cab driver
that's how I got robbed at gun
point
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
huh?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yo man I'm almost at my
destination I'll call you later
                                                            
Max hangs up.
                                                            
HE'S AT THE HOUSE (HORN BLOW)
                                                            
Max looking in his rear view mirror,
a man and a woman come out of the door.

It's CHRISTINE his baby mama
and her new boyfriend RODERICK.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (talking to self)
Oh shit it is Christine; I can't
let her see me like this. I'll
pull off… no I'll be fired
                                                            

32.

Max looks around in the glove compartment he see a pair of
Rayon sun glass, he looks at the seat covers

The two of them get in the cab
                                                            
Max has the cloth over his head and wearing the glasses
disguised like and Arab but speaks with the wrong accent
                                                            
                       MAX
      (latino accent)
Jello to you and ju I am Migue
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
what are you?
                                                            
                       MAX
Mexican, Arab… my parents met on
the border of Mexico and Pakistan
So who gets out first
                                                            
                       RODERICK
She's going to Linden Ave to
work
                                                            
                       MAX
I know where she works
                                                            
Max catches himself and pretends he's talking on a blue
tooth. He starts driving her to work
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
So am I going to see you tonight?
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Tonight, nah I have to fly over
to Japan I won't be back until
Saturday
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Wow Japan that would be nice if
me and you would go. Maybe, you,
I and my son can go on one of your
trips you don't have to pay for
him. I'll pay his way
                                                            
Cab almost hit something and swerve,they both fly over to
the right
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Hey watch it. Your son, no you
don't have to do that money is
nothing to Me… next time ok.
                                                            

33.

                       CHRISTINA
Yeah I always wanted a better
life want to travel instead I got
hooked with that old dreaming ass
dead beat of a dad.He think he
gonna be a lawyer
                                                            
They fly over to the left cab knocks over a homeless man
shopping cart

Max is looking at him touching all over Christine in the
rear view mirror.

Slams on the brakes at a green light their heads hit the
back seat
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Maybe his luck bad he probably
need church.
                                                            
Roderick notice he stopped
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Man you just stop at the green
light
                                                            
                       MAX
Sorry I'm new to the custom
                                                            
                       RODERICK
What happen to your accent?
                                                            
max stops hard and bumps his head
                                                            
                       MAX
Well we are here.
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
So call me before you leave
                                                            
They try to share a kiss
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Oh your bleeding
                                                            
She gets out and Max pulls off
(O.S.) cell phone ring
Roderick picks up his cell phone
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Hey baby, dam I left my phone in
the cab last night. Yeah Dave is
doing ok he's had pneumonia here I
am doing all this rushing around I
            (MORE)

34.

                       RODERICK (cont'd)
forgot my cell...this cab driver
just brought it to me I figured I
take the taxi in to work I stayed
overnight to make sure he was ok
                                                            
                       RODERICK (more)
Glad you made it home ya'll made
it home...I miss you too. I'll be
home. kiss that little girl of
mine good night if I'm late. I
love you
                                                            
THE CAB PULLS INTO THE DEALER SHIP
                                                            
                       MAX
That's $18 for ju my friend.
                                                            
Roderick hands him a $20 bill and gets out the cab. Max
drives off

RODERICK'S BOSS walks over to him
                                                            
                       RODERICK'S BOSS
Are you late again man? Mr. 50
says you detailed his Benz but
you didn't vacuum. Screw up again
your fired
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Yeah sorry I forgot, how about I
forget not to fire you let's go
get it done in 15 minutes.
                                                            
 
EXT. ON THE STREET - DAY
                                                            
Max is in the cab counting his money where the cabs hangout
                                                            
An OLD WOMAN is being turn down for a ride from a cab driver
She walks up to another cab and he say's no and just sits
there.
                                                            
Max is outraged they would turn her down ,so he pulls next
to her
                                                            
                       MAX
Excuse me old lady are you ok?
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
We'll I'm just trying to get
uptown
                                                            

35.

                       MAX
Say no more get in.
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Oh thank you so much. Can we go
to the corner of Main St and
Carver Ave.?
                                                            
                       MAX
Any where you want to go
sweetheart
You know what this one is on me.
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Oh how sweet
                                                            
Max smiles as he starts on his route
                                                            
                       MAX
You look like a very nice old lady
sort of like the grandma
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Ah there's no problem baby. You
can always have me If that what
you like
                                                            
                       MAX
She was wrestler "Malicious Man
eater Melody"She was a UFWW champ
in 1935
                                                            
 
INT. AT A WRESTLING STADIUM 1935 - EVENING
                                                            
a crowd is cheering- his grandma getting ready to fight for
the championship
                                                            
THE ANNOUNCER in the middle of the ring talking out of a
cone
                                                            
                       ANNOUNCER
In this corner, she's a terrifying
defeat of terror, she knows to
break bones they call her "Vicious
Varna"
                                                            
crowd cheers for the Verna
                                                            

36.

                       ANNOUNCER
And the corner over here we have
defending her title as Queen of
pro Wrestling UFWW 1935 MALICIOUS
MAN EATER
                                                            
the bell rings and they run at each other
                                                            
Back to: Max in the cab
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Malicious wow she was a big
attraction back then good to know
she still alive?
                                                            
MAX is pulling up to a sleazy hotel
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok this is where you live?
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Yeah if you want to call it that,
it's where I make a living now
here are the rules. When we go in
together, you pay the man for The
room And you give him the amount
forhow long you want it for
                                                            
                       MAX
What?
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
50 dollars if you want your dick
sucked 82 dollars to fuck, I don't
do it in the but anymore but if
you got 16 more dollars we can
work most people like my butt
                                                            
                       MAX
      (interupting)
I would like your butt out of here
I didn't know I was giving you a
ride like that
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
First of all I'm an Entrepreneur
                                                            
                       MAX
You mean entreprewhore
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
You got me all the way out here so
either we going to fuck or you
giving me my money And you can
            (MORE)

37.

                       OLD LADY PROST (cont'd)
look at it, I want my money.
                                                            
                       MAX
Listen Harriet Tubman I'm not
buying none today, or am I giving
you money. The lady takes her leg
and starts beating Max with it.
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Give me my money, give me my damn
money Daddy George, Daddy George
                                                            
A OLD PIMP dressed in a loud suit and feather hat. He's
waving his Kane
                                                            
                       OLD PIMP
What's the problem?
                                                            
They both try chasing him around the cab. Max jumps in the
cab and drives off
                                                            
                       MAX
Crazy ass bitch and 1970 pimp
that's it, need a break;
                                                            
MAX pulls into 7-11. He pulls in the spot next to a cab and
walks in.
                                                            
 
INT. 7-11 STORE - DAY
                                                            
The CAB DRIVER who threw the .15 at him the day before is
making coffee

Max hurrying to the other side of the isle the cab man walks
down his isle

Max pretends he's looking at a box of tampons
The cab man passes by and walks out.

Max makes his move to go to the register.
                                                            
                       STORE CLERK
Ok we have a box of tampons, and
can of dog food That will be
$13.47, sir
                                                            
Max pays and leaves he gets in the cab and breathe a sigh of
relief

CRAZY JOE the other cab appears in his side window
                                                            

38.

                       MAX
      (startled)
Man what you want from me
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
      (angry)
So you work for us now? 1st you
cheated me out a tip Now you
trying to take my customers
                                                            
                       MAX
No man
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
Been here 23 years My name is
crazy Joe stay out of my way
                                                            
Crazy Joe throw .15 at him and leaves
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN (O.S.)
Max cab 16 I got calls
                                                            
                       MAX
Cab 16 go ahead
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Go back to the mall and pick up,
they are going back to 223 Lantern
got it
                                                            
MAX PULLS UP TO THE OVER WEIGHT CUSTOMERS THEY GET IN
                                                            
                       1 ST MAN
Man that's was a good work out
                                                            
                       2ND MAN
Who wants some raspberry swirls?
                                                            
                       1 ST MAN
Double tubs, double tubs
                                                            
everyone is chanting
                                                            
MAX IS AT 223 LANTERN
                                                            
He sees the same girl pull into the driveway.

MUSIC is playing (LOVE JONES) the record scratch
                                                            
                       MAX PENIS (O.C.)
Hey man, we need to talk. I know
you notice me
                                                            

39.

                       MAX
what who is that?
                                                            
                       MAX (O.C.)
      (annoyed)
It's your erection
                                                            
                       MAX
man not now
                                                            
                       MAX PENIS
We are spending way to much time
together. Especially last Saturday
I thought I was getting beat by
the young Mike Tyson
                                                            
                       MAX
Okay, okay what do you want me to
do?
                                                            
                       MAX PENIS
      (mimicking)
What do you want me to do? How
about
her instead of me every morning
                                                            
                       MAX
ok go away or something
                                                            
                       MAX PENIS (O.C.)
Good luck
                                                            
A girl name SCOODA walks over to the cab
                                                            
                       SCOODA
Are you ok
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Awkward)
Yeah yeah, So you're a biker
huh,you look like a biker
                                                            
                       MAX
I mean, not hairy tattooed fat guy
biker, like nice hair,um you have
nice hair, can I start over
                                                            
                       SCOODA
My name is Scooda
                                                            
                       MAX
My name is Max
                                                            

40.

                       SCOODA
So you ride?
                                                            
                       MAX
      (staring)
                                                            
                       SCOODA
hello
                                                            
                       MAX
Ah actually I know nothing about
bikes
                                                            
                       SCOODA
I don't really ride as much
anymore thanks for being on time
with picking up my dad. I got to
go in the house now
                                                            
                       MAX
Um listen are you married,
engaged, divorced, single cheating
on someone
                                                            
                       SCOODA
too busy, I work and then I go see
my son on the weekends.
                                                            
                       SCOODA
well I'm taking my son to the
street fair this Saturday.
                                                            
                       MAX
let's say we have a play date?
                                                            
                       SCOODA
I don't see why not call me
                                                            
Max takes his cell to put it in
                                                            
                       SCOODA
631-778-8989
                                                            
Max hurries and puts it in his cell as she runs in the house
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN (O.C.)
Max where are you?
                                                            
Max gets back on the 2-way
                                                            
                       MAX
I just drop off the last address
                                                            

41.

                       DISPATCHER DAN
Ok, go to N. Wilson Ave and pick
up Mrs. Clarendon She's going to
the mall. Before you take her to
the mall,pick up at Jerry Ville
auto parts he's going to the mall
also, charge them both $15
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok I got it
                                                            
Max is at the MRS. CLARENDON address (blows horn)

MRS. CLARENDON a women in her 50's, very well dressed with
nice looking jewelry,looks out the door. She comes out with
a small dog and gets in the cab
                                                            
                       MRS.CLARENDON
Good afternoon young man. I'm
going to the SUNNYDALE Mall quiet
fluffy he's a good man
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok I just have to pick someone up
going that way
                                                            
                       MRS.CLARENDON
will do
                                                            
The cab pulls into the auto parts store.

The AUTO WORKER gets in the cab with an IPod on
                                                            
                       AUTO WORKER
Ay yo I'm going to the Mall
                                                            
Max pick up the 2-way
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok got ya, I got two people going
to the Mall
                                                            
                       AUTO WORKER
Ah yeah this my shit, my (beep)
hit switches in bitches, That will
make their toes curl like houses
falling on witches,so get your
stitch kit, I'm about to
hit the (beep), I'll make your
stomach jitterish, sexvival of
fitness,Mother (beep) like to talk
a lot how they can lick your
(beep) like a lollipop, I'll
            (MORE)

42.

                       AUTO WORKER (cont'd)
(beep) and give you 50 bitch
                                                            
Mrs. Clarendon shocked as Max puts hand on head
                                                            
MAX PICKS UP A DRUNKEN GUY WITH A DRINK IN HIS HAND
                                                            
                       DRUNKEN GUY
      (sing intoxicated)
Bye, bye Miss American pie, drove
my Chevy to the levy But the levy
was…
                                                            
He throws up and starts crying
                                                            
                       DRUNKEN GUY
The levy was dry, oh why was it
dry
                                                            
MAX HAS A GHETTO LOUD LADY ON HER CELL IN THE CAB
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY
      (on the cell)
What the fuck do you mean you
already did the Dishes? When I
tell you do something you do it,
put you brother on the phone I
said put your dam brother on the
phone,who the hell told you to go
through my things. And lock my
door Hey man you know where you
going
                                                            
                       MAX
Yes I do but could you
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY
      (interupting)
Not you asshole the cab driver, I
said the dam cab driver
                                                            
Max picks up a CRAZY LADY she gets in the cab and puts on a
aluminum foil hat
                                                            
                       CRAZY LADY
Planet zephyr
                                                            
 
EXT. JASHON'S SCHOOL - LATER
                                                            
Max is at Jashon's school. He pulls into the parking lot
                                                            

43.

                       MAX
      (yelling)
Jay, Jashon over here
                                                            
Jashon sees him and walks over to him
                                                            
                       JASHON
Hey dad
                                                            
                       MAX
You got everything including your
math book?
                                                            
                       JASHON
      (trying to rush)
Got it
                                                            
Jashon gets in the back seat and slumps down
                                                            
                       MAX
Get in the front Jashon
                                                            
                       JASHON
no that's ok
                                                            
                       MAX
What's the matter?
                                                            
                       JASHON
The kids kept calling me a liar
and they kept whistling the Theme
from "taxi"
                                                            
                       MAX
Sorry little man I thought I had
the job but I really did get
robbed Do what I have to do to get
by we be fine, you trust me
                                                            
                       JASHON
yeah
                                                            
                       MAX
Everyone's job is important
                                                            
                       JASHON
dad
                                                            
                       MAX
yes
                                                            

44.

                       JASHON
What's this green stuff on my
sneakers?
                                                            
Jashon sneakers have throw-up on it
                                                            
                       MAX
ah man
                                                            
They pull into a car wash. Max and Jashon are cleaning out
the cab and themselves

They arrive at Jashon's street but drive past the house
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok little man, give me a kiss
                                                            
                       JASHON
Thanks dad I love you
                                                            
                       MAX
Love you too Jay
                                                            
Jashon get out the cab and makes his way to the door, his
mother opens it before he reaches it
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Who was you with, in the cab boy?
                                                            
                       MAX
It was dad he picked me up from
school.He made cab driver drive me
home
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
The cab driver, huh go up stairs
and clean up your room before you
do your homework
                                                            
(Christine looks of inquiry)
                                                            
THE CAB IS BACK AT THE DISPATCH OFFICE
                                                            
 
INT. CAB OFFICE - EVENING
                                                            
Some guys are waiting in line to turn in their book. Max
goes in the back of the line
                                                            
                       CAB 3
So what did you book?
                                                            

45.

                       MAX
I did good I booked $500 in one
day not bad
                                                            
                       CAB 3
      (laughing)
Not, bad you must be new
                                                            
CAB DRIVER 4 a hard looking lesbian lines up behind Max.
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER 4
How you doing
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh hey I'm Max
                                                            
                       CAB DRIVER 4
How you doing, I'm Penelope
                                                            
                       MAX
      (looking hard)
Nice to meet you
                                                            
Max is next to turn in his book
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Let's see what we have here.
Oh $500. Let's see the cab lease
is half
                                                            
                       MAX
Half
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
So that's $250 and 15% for the
dispatcher Did you fill it with
gas
                                                            
                       MAX
no
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Well you got to put the gas in
                                                            
Dan hands him money back. Max takes out $65
                                                            
                       MAX
$65 back where I started
                                                            

46.

                       DISPATCHER DAN
You can take the cab home and try
tomorrow The earlier you start the
more you make. It's all in your
hustle my friend.
                                                            
Max walks off with his keys but then he's stopped by
Penelope.
                                                            
                       PENEPOLE
Listen you want to make $5000
bucks
                                                            
                       MAX
$5000 hell yeah
                                                            
                       
Me and the wife over there are
trying to get pregnant
                                                            
A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN with a bad sexy body is waving at Max
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh you want me to have sex with
her $5000 that's easy I'll do that
for you
                                                            
                       PENEPOLE
Actually she can't carry but I can
                                                            
                       MAX
So what do you need like and
artificially Insemination?
                                                            
                       MAX
Well no you get to have sex with
me. That way we get the real
feeling of the pregnancy
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah no I have a very low sperm
count, Really low in fact the doc
says I only have 1,200 sperms
left. And I got into a real fight
with this midget he went right for
it and smoke way too much weed
                                                            
                       PENEPOLE
Ok thank you
                                                            
Otis walks up to the dispatcher last on line
                                                            

47.

                       DISPATCHER DAN
Otis you have an airport run
tomorrow, be there at 9am here I
wrote it down.read it so you won't
F this up.you booking out ?
                                                            
                       OTIS
no I'm working late
                                                            
Dan hands Otis a envelope
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
are you stoned?
                                                            
                       OTIS
my allergies,ok I'll be there
tomorrow I won't F it up
                                                            
Otis turns and walks away.Dan pulls a big bottle of scotch
out of the draw
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
he's going to F it up
                                                            
 
EXT. MAX PLACE - EVENING
                                                            
The cab pulls up to his crib .He hops out and walks to the
front door

Peaches is standing there
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Max, hey baby
                                                            
He tries to walk by her quickly
                                                            
                       MAX
Hey what's up Peaches?
                                                            
                       PEACHES
I see you working now,you must
have the rent
                                                            
                       MAX
Ah well here it is
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Ah, this only $65, where the other
$935
                                                            

48.

                       MAX
Oh today rent.Look I'm having a
problem. I need a few more days
                                                            
                       PEACHES
and I need my sink fixed be over
my house or I'll throw you out by
your dick
                                                            
She leaves and she gets in her ugly peach mobile.

Goatee comes out his room
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I got a date at SHEGOTISSUES.com
she coming over tomorrow
                                                            
                       MAX
yeah aight
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
What's the matter?
                                                            
                       MAX
I hope I don't have a date
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
what
                                                            
                       MAX
Never mind I'll be back
                                                            
Goatee goes in his room Max turns around Reggie Rehab is
standing there
                                                            
                       REHAB REG
I know someone who someone who
will give you $500
                                                            
                       MAX
How you know I need money?
                                                            
                       REHAB REG
Nothing, all you have to do is
entertain some elderly Gentleman's
in a jock strap they usually give
me 3,4 rocks which equal $100
street value
                                                            
Max just walks away

O.S. Max cell rings it's his MOTHER
                                                            

49.

                       MAX
Hey ma, yes I did. Yes I did the
invitation to grandma's Wrestling
Award dinner. Listen ma I got a
favor to ask, I got robbed this
morning by cab driver for my rent
                                                            
Max listens
                                                            
                       MAX
No don't worry I'm ok some money.
listen I need to borrow
                                                            
The connection goes bad the battery on his cell is going out
                                                            
                       MAX
Ah shit, can you hear me? My
battery is dead, hello
                                                            
Max hangs up and starts heading to Peaches house.
                                                            
 
INT. IN OTIS CAB - NIGHT
                                                            
Otis is sitting inside his cab token on a small pipe filled
with marijuana.

He picks up the envelope and reads it
                                                            
                       OTIS
      (talking to self ,
       coughing)
hmm this a big run, Texas?
                                                            
the paper shows clear print instruction which go blur
                                                            
A LADY CUSTOMER walks up to the window and knocks
                                                            
                       LADY CUSTOMER
Hi you taking any fares?
                                                            
                       OTIS
yes come on in
                                                            
she gets in
                                                            
                       LADY CUSTOMER
yes I'm going to the v
                                                            
                       LADY CUSTOMER
      (sniffing)
                                                            

50.

                       LADY CUSTOMER (cont'd)
is that marijuana I smell
                                                            
                       OTIS
Medicinal marijuana it's for my
glaucoma,I can't see where I'm
going it clears up my vision
                                                            
he pass it back
                                                            
                       OTIS
you want a toke you'll see what I
mean. you'll have a much better
vision and you'll be much prettier
without them glasses and some
implants
                                                            
she gets out the cab
                                                            
                       OTIS
ok have a nice walk then
                                                            
 
INT. PEACHES HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Max steps into Peaches hallway which is one color. Every bit
of her furniture,walls, appliances one color Peach

Max hears music coming from the room down the hall and
follows it to another open door. He walks in to see a dog
in the corner dog bed and no one else. The door slams behind
him. She grabs Max and starts in groping him
                                                            
                       MAX
Ok I'm here so where's the sink
                                                            
                       PEACHES
You mean the pipes to my
downstairs baby we getting to that
That's part of my policy to you
all other late paying renters gets
thrown out by there balls. you get
off easy,hope you get me off just
as easy
                                                            
                       MAX
Um listen I got another $15 if we
can
stop this now
                                                            
The small dog gets up and grabs Max's pant leg
                                                            

51.

                       PEACHES
Sit his ass down Lil peaches
                                                            
The dog sits Max down in a chair.

Peaches goes over to the wall and pulls down a bed
It's a brass bed with handcuffs.

A little foreign man jumps out
in white under wear and jumps out the window
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Oh hell no I got something for
your ass this time
                                                            
Peaches goes to her purse and grabs what appears to be her
car keys. She runs to a window points it at him and zaps.
The man falls to the ground shaking
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Now where were we? I'm making me a
peach chocolate cobbler tonight
you better pony up!
                                                            
                       MAX
Let's make it good. Let me lick
peach ice cream off of you
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Oh you really do want to fix my
closest I will be right back
                                                            
She runs in the kitchen while the dog watches

Max tries to attempt to escape out the window but the dog
gets up growling Peaches, comes back in the room with the
ice cream.
                                                            
                       PEACHES
I'm back baby, how do you want me
                                                            
                       MAX
Why don't you lie down so I can
put it on ya
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Oh yes that feels good peach me
peach me
                                                            
                       MAX
here baby let me get under these
armpits
                                                            

52.

                       PEACHES
Ok freaky ass
                                                            
Max gets her arm up enough to reach and get her in the
handcuffs.
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh get ready here comes 31 flavors
#29
                                                            
Max clicks the handcuffs on her wrist.
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Hey get these off me you piece of,
Lil Peaches get him
                                                            
LIL PEACHES THE DOG gets up and jumps on top of big Peaches
and starts licking the ice cream. He gets an erection and
starts humping big Peaches.
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Lil Peaches what are, you doing?
nooo
                                                            
Max runs out the house with his pants halfway up and his
shirt open. He jumps in the cab

The guy is on the lawn still shaking. Max
drives off
                                                            
 
INT. NANA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Max is at his NANA house knocking on the door a 5'1" Women
opens the door
                                                            
                       MAX
hey Nana can I come in
                                                            
                       NANA
where you been you don't call me
any more
                                                            
                       MAX
I've been studying I pass the bar.
Now I'm trying to land something
                                                            
She walks with Max to the kitchen and starts fixing
something to eat for him
                                                            
she brings him a plate of hamburger and french fries
                                                            

53.

                       MAX
wow this looks good thank you
                                                            
Max eats it and sits with her at the table She pulls out her
chewing tobacco and spits it in a cup while he's on the
table eating.
                                                            
her teeth are stain with tobacco
                                                            
                       NANA
so what's going on why having you
been on an interview
                                                            
she spits in her cup
                                                            
                       MAX
      (looking at her in
       disgisted)
ah yeah did but I got robbed by
the so called cab driver and I
wound up being late
                                                            
                       NANA
Robbed did you do moves I show
you?
                                                            
                       MAX
He had a gun
                                                            
                       NANA
So what, here show me what you do
                                                            
His Nana goes to the kitchen draw and pulls out a gun then
she sets the chairs in a way as if they were in a cab.
                                                            
                       NANA
You sit in back, show me, I have
gun don't worry it's not loaded
now give me you IPod asshole
                                                            
                       MAX
      (smiling)
wow that's kinda gangster
                                                            
                       NANA
is that what you did?
                                                            
                       MAX
no I did more like this
                                                            
Max holds his hands up and scream.
                                                            

54.

                       NANA
That is definitely not move I show
you switch with me
                                                            
they both switch front to back
                                                            
                       MAX
Give me your money
                                                            
She grabs the gun in lightning speed and tosses his ass up
front
                                                            
                       MAX
ok I got it
                                                            
                       NANA
What do you need
                                                            
                       MAX
I need $1000
                                                            
                       NANA
I only have $500 I gave to the
church. So all you have to do is
move back here.
                                                            
                       MAX
No that's OK at least with that
I'll be able to pay the moving
man. she's definitely throwing me
out.
                                                            
She goes and gets the money.

Max is looking at old pictures of Nana as
WWF Champion of 1935

She comes back down and gives Max a kiss when she draws back
she leaves tobacco stains on his lips.
                                                            
                       MAX
Well thanks Nana, I love you
                                                            
                       NANA
You bring my grandson to me I make
him Wrestler
                                                            
                       MAX
ok Nana I will
                                                            
Max leaves Nana's when he gets pass the front door he spits
the tobacco out
                                                            

55.

                       MAX
uuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhh
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
the room is empty Max is sneaking in his window
he opens the door slight to check for Peaches

no sign of her, he closes the door and sits on the bed
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
The alarm clock rings. Max gets up and runs to his closet,
then runs to the bathroom and comes right out

He sits on the bed and waits

(O.C.) footsteps come from the other room to the bathroom,

then a scream

then footsteps running out of the bathroom back into his
room

Max grabs all his personal hygiene things and goes to the
bathroom.

Puts his hand in the toilet takes an animal he planted in
there and lets it out of the window

Max comes out of the bathroom dressed. Sees Rehab Reg he
appears to be clean
                                                            
                       MAX
wow where you going?
                                                            
                       REHAB REG
going into rehab
                                                            
Max looks and moves on
                                                            
                       MAX
good keep trying
                                                            
Max steps back in his apartment and grab the $500 his Nana
gave him. He almost locks his door
                                                            
                       MAX
Who am I kidding
                                                            

56.

Max gets in the cab and drives to the bodega all the ghetto
greeters are standing outside one pulls the door open for
him
                                                            
                       GHETTO GREETERS
How you doing sir nice day
                                                            
Max goes in the store and carefully picks things that won't
bring the sound of any change
                                                            
                       MAX
how much is that?
                                                            
                       COUNTER PERSON
that's $4.20
                                                            
max grabs something off the counter
                                                            
                       COUNTER PERSON
that's 5 dollars even
                                                            
                       GHETTO GREETERS
      (sitting quiet)
                                                            
He walks out and past the Ghetto Greeters

Max is in the cab

(slow motion)Dispatch Dan gives him a call in
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - DAY
                                                            
an ugly She-Male is in the front seat making eyes at him
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
MAX PICK UP AT THE 99 MOTEL 12
                                                            
He pulls into the front
                                                            
the AUTO worker and Miss Clarendon get in the back
                                                            
                       AUTO WORKER
We want to go to the I HOP
                                                            
                       MAX
Right away
                                                            
                       AUTO WORKER
Wow I'm starving
                                                            

57.

                       MRS.CLARENDON
Didn't you have enough to eat last
night
                                                            
They both share a brief laugh then start passionately
kissing
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Looking in the
       rearview grossed
       out)
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Max has 2 MEN in the cab neither one smiling mean looking
guys in suits wearing suits,carrying a violin case. A
NERVOUS MAN sitting in the middle of them.

Max is nervous
                                                            
                       LEFT CUSTOMER
Pull back here and go down that
alley
                                                            
Max drives down the alley
                                                            
                       LEFT CUSTOMER
Next to that black door
                                                            
He pulls next to the door they throw $50 at the front seat
and all 3 get out

The black door opens and a gay man holding a dozen roses
comes out to greet them
                                                            
                       GAY MAN
Fabulous our back up actor is
here, calm Honey you look nervous
                                                            
Camera are flashing as they rush in the the actor in the
door
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB WITH DRUNK GUY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max pick up same drunk guy he pick up before
                                                            
Max has his spit bucket ready
                                                            
                       DRUNKEN GUY
he took the midnight train
                                                            

58.

Max hands him the bucket he throws up in it
                                                            
 
INT. IN THE CAB WITH TEEN WHITE GIRLS - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
5 white girls in their teen's are super hyper in the cab
singing a song off the radio
                                                            
Max has a look of a phony annoying smile
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max is on his cell

There's a LADY 40's, with a bowl like hair cut,almost could
pass for the character Sling Blades sister.

She's sitting in the back
                                                            
                       MAX
      (on the cell)
Yes hello can I speak with Mr.Head
please,yes I'll hold
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
      (Loud, Monotone)
what's your name?
                                                            
                       MAX
huh yes,Max
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON (O.C.)
hello he's not in right now, can I
take a message
                                                            
                       MAX
yes my name is Max Jenkins
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
Hi Max Jenkins my name is Suzane
                                                            
Max looks back with cell in his hand and nods
                                                            
                       MAX
yes I had an interview with them
this
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
      (interupting)
Suzanne Donalds
                                                            

59.

                       MAX
hi Suzanne Donalds
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
you had an appointment with
Suzanne Donalds
                                                            
                       MAX
no no that's not the message
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
Donaldson Suzanne, Suzanne
Donaldson you got children
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
      (writting it and
       saying it to her
       self)
ok no
                                                            
Max TURNS TO Suzanne
                                                            
                       MAX
yes one
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
yes one what sir?
                                                            
                       MAX
no that's not the message
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
what's the message sir?
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
do you see you see your child?
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Yelling)
yes I see my child look
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
how often do you you see your
child?
                                                            
                       MAX
every day
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
yes I see my child everyday
                                                            
                       MAX
no please I'm not talking to you
                                                            

60.

                       MISS. WILSON (O.C.)
      (Yelling)
who is you yelling at I'm about to
apply for college to bar-tend,I
don't need this
                                                            
                       MAX
look I'm sorry I got a
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
      (interrupting)
do you want more children?
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
you know what get it together
                                                            
she hangs up
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
is it a boy or girl
                                                            
Max looks a little crazy

the cab is in traffic on the highway
                                                            
                       LOUD LADY 2
what's their name my name is
Suzanne, Suzanne Donaldson
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - LATER
                                                            
Max picks up a bunch of tired strippers he pulls into the
train station and let them out

the last stripper turns around money from her crouch.

Max smiles wait until they get out of sight and sprays the
bills with Lysol
                                                            
 
EXT. 7-11 STORE PARKING LOT - EVENING
                                                            
Max pulls up at 7-11. The other cab driver Crazy Joe pulls
right beside him
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh boy here we go el psycho bipolo
                                                            
Max looks in his back seat and sees that old prostitute he
pick up yesterday
                                                            

61.

                       CRAZY JOE
Sorry about yesterday I mixed up
my Halloween candy with my
medication Mama said, to stay away
from the halloween candy But don't
listen very well.
                                                            
                       MAX
mama?
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Hurry up and get my dam sandwich
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
Shut the fuck up I'm getting your
dam peanut butter Hero with extra
mayo, and then I'm dropping your
ass at the bingo game.
                                                            
turns to Max
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
Unless you want to take her
                                                            
                       MAX
No I got a call
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
Ok I'll see you around
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN (O.C.)
You ready to work?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah man
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN (O.C.)
Go to 12 Suffolk Ave I got 1 going
to 1694 Linden Ave
                                                            
                       MAX
      (nervous)
Christine, can you give that one
to someone else? How about crazy
Joe?
                                                            
The 2-way went silent.

Max gets 2 blocks before the address and puts on his
disguise again. He pulls up and blows the horn Christine
comes running out the door
                                                            

62.

                       CHRISTINA
You know where I'm going? What is
your name
                                                            
                       MAX
      (jamaican accent)
Miguel Mohammed?
                                                            
She looks for a moment and gets on her cell
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Hey girl what you doing? On my way
to work. I'm going in late. It was
a crazy night last night. He ask
me to marry him
                                                            
                       CHRISTINE'S GIRLFRIEND (O.C.)
      (mumbling)
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Listen girl you hanging with me to
celebrate.
                                                            
Max secretly presses the 2-way. He picks up.
                                                            
                       MAX
What yes I will go to that address
                                                            
Max turns the 2-way down Max heads down to 39 Roswell Dr.
her boyfriend house.
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
Excuse me, if you don't mind me
asking where are we going?
                                                            
                       MAX
      (jamaican accent)
I have to go to 39 Roswell Dr.
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
      (talking to self)
I thought he was out of town
                                                            
 
EXT. 39 ROSEWELL DR - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max pulls in front of a house and blows the horn.
                                                            
                       MAX
      (accent)
Maybe they not hear me
                                                            

63.

Max blows again. RODERICK'S WIFE sticks her head out the
door.
                                                            
                       RODERICK’S WIFE
My husband didn't call for a cab
today
                                                            
                       CHRISTINA
      (Yelling)
Husband?
                                                            
Her soon to be fiance Christina sticks his head out the
door.
                                                            
                       RODERICK
Nah man we didn't
                                                            
Roderick sees Christina in the cab
                                                            
                       RODERICK
ah shit
                                                            
Christina gets out the cab walks to the house in a rage

Both women starts chasing RODERICK down the drive way
                                                            
Max drives off backwards, both women catch him and start
whipping his ass
                                                            
                       RODERICK
      (Yelling to him)
Help taxi, wait, wait
                                                            
 
INT. THE DIPATCH OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Dan is on the radio getting upset with Otis
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
      (Yelling to him)
Otis where are you I told you you
have a pic up at the airport. the
lady is calling
                                                            
 
INT. TEXAS AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Otis is waiting inside the airport on the cell
                                                            
                       OTIS
I know I took the paper with me
before I left last night.
                                                            

64.

back in New York
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
ok so your there, good she came in
from Texas, flight 19
                                                            
                       OTIS
yes I'm at the airport I took an
earlier flight so I can catch her.
Think I'll get one of those Big
hats
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
wait you took a flight to Texas to
pick her up?
                                                            
                       OTIS
yes and she should be here in an
half hour
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
      (Yelling to him)
she's coming from Texas to New
York, my God where's the cab
                                                            
                       OTIS
it's parked outside
                                                            
 
EXT. LAUGUADIA AIRPORT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
the tow guy is backing the tow truck to the cab
                                                            
                       OTIS
everything ok? where is she
                                                            
 
INT. MAX PLACE - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
He walks in and knocks on Goatee's door. Goatey opens the
door and grabs him inside quickly.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Yo what's up man, I don't want the
smell to get out
                                                            
                       MAX
You cooking?
                                                            
Goatey goes to the closet pulls back a compartment where
he's cooking, There are ribs, chicken, collard greens, fried
fish and yellow rice.
                                                            

65.

                       BOOTLEG
You were right man, maybe it's
time to move on,
                                                            
                       MAX
What made you have a change of
heart
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I found out my ex just had twins
by her Uncle
                                                            
                       MAX
That would do it
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
That's ok I got this girl coming
over she works over at Marina
World
                                                            
                       MAX
It's about time, have you seen
Peaches
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I'm try to avoid her myself
                                                            
Goatey starts preparing the table
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
She'll be here in 10 minutes
                                                            
Max grabs a chicken leg, Goatey grabs it back.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Yo come on man skirts only
                                                            
a knock at the door. (O.S.)

Goatey fixes himself
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Hold on baby I'm just straighten
up a little. Okay man you gotta go
                                                            
Goatey opens the door and a beautiful woman
name CLORINE is standing in the doorway.

Max is staring hard and sort of surprised.
                                                            
                       CLORINE
Hey what's up I'm Chlorine
                                                            

66.

                       MAX
Chlorine like the stuff you clean
pools with
                                                            
                       CLORINE
What stuff
                                                            
looks at Goatee
                                                            
                       MAX
Good luck
                                                            
She walks in Goatee's room
                                                            
                       CLORINE
Will Ya'll hurry the hell up, dam
slow ass kids
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Kids you brought damn kids on a
date
                                                            
A slutty angry looking 13 YEAR OLD GIRL walks in carrying a
baby seat with a baby in it and gives it to Goatee

a younger, fatter KID and heads straight for the food.

A 3rd kid is dirty grabs the ribs bites and spits it out
then starts jumping on the bed.
                                                            
                       CLORINE
I'm paying for no baby sitter You
got money for the movie?
                                                            
Max start to leave out the door
                                                            
                       MAX
      (laughing)
Have a nice time man
                                                            
Max runs out the door into his room. He grabs and energy
drink and another.

He runs back out to the cab to take on some more calls
                                                            
 
EXT. A YELLOW HOUSE - EVENING
                                                            
Max pulls up to the building same time as an ambulance A
PREGNANT WOMAN walks out and gets in the cab with her
HUSBAND

Max pulls off
                                                            

67.

                       CHEATING HUSBAND
It's going to be alright baby
                                                            
She's screaming.
                                                            
                       PREGNANT WOMEN
I think I'm going to have the baby
                                                            
                       MAX
No please don't
                                                            
The husband cell rings
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
Oh yes I did go to the store, they
didn't have the milk you wanted.
                                                            
The pregnant woman is screaming louder The husband puts the
cell on mute
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
Sshhh will you shut up that's my
wife on the phone
                                                            
                       PREGNANT WOMEN
      (angry)
you're married?
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
I was going to tell you
                                                            
The HUSBAND is back on the cell
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
No shit, what no baby I'm just
listening to the IPod
                                                            
                       PREGNANT WOMEN
I'm going to kill you
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
baby let me call you back
                                                            
He hangs the cell up

the baby gets delivered in the back seat
                                                            
Baby crying(O.C.)
                                                            
                       CHEATING HUSBAND
Oh it's a boy baby it's a boy Ok
you can take her back home how
much is It round trip?
                                                            

68.

GIRLFRIEND look turn to angry
                                                            
 
EXT. A WOODED AREA - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max is parked at a gate looking at his watch and in the rear
view mirror

A gang of Mexicans run and hop over the fence

Lights and sirens go off along with gunfire as they get into
the cab
                                                            
                       MEXICAN MAN
Apurate, Apurate, bitch
                                                            
Max steps on the gas and speeds out

Max is in the middle of a parking lot letting everybody out
as they all give him money
                                                            
                       MAX
thank you tell your friends
                                                            
 
INT. GOATEE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Peaches knocks on Max door there's no answer

she hears some noise coming out of Goatee room and knocks on
that door
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Ay Goatee
                                                            
GOATEE opens the door quick
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
      (Yelling)
now who the hell is
                                                            
He steps on the hallway and shut the door quick
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Your dam land lord and are you
cooking?
                                                            
there is yelling coming from the closed door
                                                            
                       CLORINE (O.S.)
      (Yelling)
What the hell, get down from there
Jesse James Jr.
                                                            

69.

                       PEACHES
You got kids in there
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
No, that's just the TV
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Where is Max I need to see him?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
He's at work he won't get off
until tomorrow Afternoon
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
I'll tell him
                                                            
                       PEACHES
well he'll be out tomorrow
afternoon any way, and if I catch
you cooking with kids in there you
are going with him
                                                            
She walks out
                                                            
 
EXT. GAS STATION - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
MAX PULLS IN AND PARKS AT THE PUMP
                                                            
He is counting his money and set some aside for gas
                                                            
                       MAX
$1000 Plus the dispatch fee half
for them and I got my rent yes it
was hard but I did it
                                                            
Max puts the rest of the money in an envelope and tucks it
under the seat

he gets out puts the nozzle in the gas tank goes inside to
pay.

4 TEENKIDS are over on the other side of the gas station
they are watching Max go inside
                                                            
                       1ST TEEN
Ok he went inside, who's going to
drive it.
                                                            
                       2ND TEEN
I'll drive it
                                                            

70.

Max is in the store buying something to drink

The surveillance showing the teens running in the cab

The cab pulls off with the hose in the tank and gas gushing
out

Max walks up to the counter.
                                                            
                       MAX
Please give me $50 on pump 5 and
I'll take this soda
                                                            
                       GAS COUNTER PERSON
Well I hate to tell you but you
have nothing to pump on 5
                                                            
                       MAX
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       GAS COUNTER PERSON
Someone just stole your cab
                                                            
Max runs to the windows and sees no cab
                                                            
                       GAS COUNTER PERSON
And you owe me $45 for the broken
nozzle
                                                            
MAX IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET ALMOST CRYING
                                                            
He flags a police man down
                                                            
                       MAX
Hey glad to see you I just got
robbed they took my cab and money
                                                            
                       OFFICER
Get in
                                                            
 
INT. AT THE PRECINT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max is sitting at desk. A bunch of police officers are
walking around or on the phone

A drunk is cuffed to a time out chair
                                                            
A DETECTIVE walks over
                                                            

71.

                       DETECTIVE BANKS
How you doing my name is Detective
Banks I understand you was robbed
for your cab
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah, it happened at the gas
station
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
was there anything valuable in
there
                                                            
                       MAX
there was money in a envelope
                                                            
The door bust open and 2 cops are dragging an old woman in
hand cuffs

MAX notices it's the old prostitute he picked up CRAZY JOE'S
MOTHER
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Let me go assholes
                                                            
                       OFFICER 2
Calm down or I'll keep these on
she was caught soliciting sex I
usually don't arrest anyone for
prostitution, but we can have
hookers on the street this dam old
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Well you can kiss this old wrinkle
been through The ringer ass you
just pissed off my pimp, if he
wasn't in cardiac arrest he would
be here kicking your ass let me
go.
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Put her in the other room
                                                            
                       MAX
ok what's going to happen
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Ok we got them on the surveillance
camera all we can do right now is
go home and we will call you
                                                            
                       MAX
I had money in their it's my rent
                                                            

72.

                       DETECTIVE BANKS
You better hope is still is
                                                            
The door opens from the lobby

Crazy Joe comes in looking for his mother
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE
Where do you have my mother? How
can you arrest her at a bingo
game?
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Are you Joe Jackson, come here I
got some pictures to show you
                                                            
Detective Banks takes Joe in the room
                                                            
                       CRAZY JOE (O.C.)
      (screaming)
What the fuck, mother
                                                            
Max walks out to the get the bus on the corner
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - LATER
                                                            
MAX walks in his front door. Takes out a box and starts
packing

He falls asleep
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - LATER
                                                            
Cell ring tone
                                                            
                       MAX
Yes hello
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Hello may I speak with Max
Jenkins
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah that's me
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
This is Det. Banks we have great
news we Recovered your cab it's
all in one piece
                                                            

73.

                       MAX
Man dam that is my money still in
there
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Describe it again?
                                                            
                       MAX
it was a manila envelope $1,750
wrap with a pink Rubber band and
$1,250 in a brown rubber band
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Yes that's correct so when are you
coming down?
                                                            
                       MAX
right now
                                                            
Max calls the dispatch
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Yeah, let me turn the TV down
                                                            
                       MAX
it's Max I need someone to pick me
up at home and take me to the
police station, they found the
stolen cab
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Right Man you got a lot of fucked
up luck. you need to go to church
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah I know can you send it?
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Right away
                                                            
The cab comes for Max and drops him off at the precinct.
                                                            
 
INT. AT THE PRECINT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max is inside looking lost.
                                                            
                       MAX
Have you seen Det. Banks?
                                                            
The officer points to the room. MAX walks over and knock on
the door
                                                            

74.

                       MAX
Max Jenkins I'm, hear to pick up
my cab
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Ok the cab is outside, here are
the keys
                                                            
                       MAX
What about the money?
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Yeah about that we have to hold
that for evidence The guys try to
use it to buy weed from an
undercover office good news it was
us you at least get your money
back
                                                            
                       MAX
When?
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
There next court date is September
14th
                                                            
                       MAX
No I can't wait that long I got
rent Please, I know let me just
pay my rent and I'll work and
bring it back on Sept.14 you can
hold it
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Ok well here are your keys and
we'll contact you and hey I'm also
a Pastor Banks you need to stop
the church might change you luck
                                                            
Max heads outside into his cab
                                                            
Max is driving when he hears a call from the dispatcher on
the 2-way
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
They found the cab in good shape?
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah shitty like before, I think I
need a break, I got to go to sleep
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
Ok get some rest
                                                            

75.

                       MAX
I'll be in on Monday
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
I will hope you are better
                                                            
Max hangs up gets to his apartment and pass out on the bed
                                                            
 
INT. MAX ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
10:45 am Max hears a knock at the door while he was
sleeping.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG (O.S.)
Yo Max, yo Max wake up man it's
important
                                                            
                       MAX
Dam wait one minute
                                                            
Max gets up, puts on his pants and opens the door.
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah man what is it?
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
You still have the bow tie I loan
you for that catering job I need
it for the funeral
                                                            
                       MAX
that's today,You gonna wear that
jump suit with that shit stain on
it
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
No I gave it to the family so they
can remember Him is you still
going you know your luck ain't
been all that great, you probably
need
                                                            
                       MAX
      (interupting)
To go to church, ok ok I'm going
Ok I'm finally going to church it
took a dead body but I'm going
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Can I drive?
                                                            

76.

Max and Goatey finish getting dressed

They are out the door into the cab.

Max ringtone
                                                            
                       MAX
Hello
                                                            
                       SCOODA
hello how are you are you busy?
                                                            
                       MAX
well no just going to a funeral
                                                            
                       SCOODA
Oh I'm sorry
                                                            
                       MAX
No, no one I know I just need to
go to church
                                                            
                       SCOODA
you don't have to wait until
someone's dead to go to a funeral
you know
                                                            
                       MAX
yeah it was kind of a motivation
for me
                                                            
                       SCOODA
your a little strange
                                                            
                       MAX
you like strange?
                                                            
                       SCOODA
it will be different
                                                            
                       MAX
that's me different but good at it
                                                            
                       SCOODA
I have to cancel the play date
                                                            
                       MAX
ok that's to bad
                                                            
                       SCOODA
but available for a night date
                                                            

77.

                       MAX
it gets better
                                                            
                       SCOODA
      (laughter)
I'll invite you over for dinner,
bring wine
                                                            
                       MAX
ok I'll see you then
                                                            
Max hangs up
                                                            
                       MAX
      (laughing)
yes yes I'm finally going to get
some
                                                            
                       MAX PENIS (O.C.)
yeah my God I can't wait
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
who is it
                                                            
                       MAX
a girl I met driving to pick up a
customer
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
that's good
                                                            
                       MAX
yo did things work out with
Chlorox
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Chlorine
                                                            
                       MAX
oh
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
yeah her 3 child father is after
me he wants to replace my eyeballs
with my nuts and 2 of the boys
stole my wallet
                                                            
                       MAX
so you seeing her again
                                                            
 

78.

INT. INSIDE A HUGE CHURCH - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
A WOMAN is a the front of the church starting the song

The choir is singing. The church is filled with people
crying.an urn is at the front of the church with Larry's
body in leopard shit form.

The people are fanning and complaining Others are spraying
air freshener's and holding their nose with napkins

Others are burning incense. One guy is burning matches

Peaches stepped in the church with her dog and a huge Peach
hat

Max and Goatey pull up in the cab
                                                            
                       MAX
Man we are not staying long
especially when I'm in here
grieving to a pile of leopard
feces
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Larry man, Larry why do you keep
saying that
                                                            
                       MAX
Let's just go in here
                                                            
They go inside the church the usher takes them to their
seat. Max noticed a guy up front
                                                            
                       MAX
Wait a minute, you're right
You said my luck would change
there might be a blessing
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
      (whispering)
What happen why are you looking
over there?
                                                            
                       MAX
      (whispering)
I'm sure that the guy that robbed
me In the cab,he had a strange
tattoo on his neck
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
What was it?
                                                            

79.

                       MAX
It's a Dennis Rodman with a dress
see if it's really Rodman on his
neck yo man is it him?
                                                            
The woman and the choir stop singing and

The minister approach the pulpit
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
Yes dear lord bless to be here
today with all these Sexy ladies
today in the lord house hallelujah
                                                            
The church look at him and each other
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
We come here today not to mourn a
death but to celebrate a life.A
life of a man who worked hard as a
feces environmental Control
technician who use to clean
leopard (beep) out of the zoo
cages
Until one day he was met by a
tragic fate
                                                            
                       THE CHURCH
Amen, preach on it damn it stinka
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
He was a good man but his drinking
led him into that cage and into an
untimely death Though this child
of God was taken away, from ashes
to ashes dust to doo doo your
accept to by Jesus, as a big pile
of feces Amen
                                                            
                       THE CHURCH
      (one member at a
       time)
Amen, open the window
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
We have a few close friends who
want to come up Say their final
good bye to our friend Larry
                                                            
Minister sits and a man gets up crying
                                                            

80.

                       CO-WORKER 1
Larry was a good friend we worked
together Funny, we used to use
to always complaint How the feces
techs in the bird department Have
it easy they have lighter loads
                                                            
another man in the same jump suit outfit stands up
                                                            
                       CO-WORKER 2
      (Yelling to him)
That's crap and you know it we
carry just as much crap as you
sometime we had the eagles you
know
                                                            
                       CO-WORKER 1
      (Yelling to him)
Bird crap is not heavier, Do the
math dick weed
                                                            
                       CO-WORKER 2
      (Yelling to him)
Dick weed screw you I'll take that
Pooper scooper and jam it up
                                                            
Minister Maurice interrupted from flirting with a women
mourner and runs to the front
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
Ah ok would anyone else like to
speak any other friend's and
family members that would like to
say their final good bye
                                                            
Cab Robber aka Larry's Brother stands up to speak.

MAX is tempted to go up Goatey holds him back
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
I want to thank everyone for
coming to my Brother's funeral
this means a lot
                                                            
                       MAX
      (whispering)
Look at him standing there in
standing there Chilling like he
don't know nothing I'm sick of
people taking advantage of me
                                                            

81.

                       BOOTLEG
So we catch him when we leave the
church
                                                            
                       MAX
      (whispering in
       anger)
No, I can't do it no more. I lost
an opportunity for career at THE
PARTNERS because of him I had to
drive a cab with some of the most
unruly people on earth because of
him I almost slept with Peaches
because of him
                                                            
CAB ROBBER sees Max
                                                            
He remembers Max in the cab while he was holding the gun
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
You know what I'm going to need my
tip right now.
                                                            
He snaps out of the flash back
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
So thank you again
                                                            
He takes his seat
                                                            
                       MINISTER MAURICE
We only have one life, who knows
what tomorrow might bring.
So I urge you before our time
is up. Say what ever you need to
now
                                                            
                       MAX
      (Yelling at him)
Don't you want to confess, man up
front
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Hold on man don't do that just
wait
                                                            
                       MAX
Let me go?
                                                            
Max walks up to the front
                                                            

82.

                       MINISTER MAURICE
That's it brother come on up and
say something
                                                            
Max grabs the mic
                                                            
                       MAX
I want to confess today let me
re-phase that someone needs to
confess today I had a long week
I got robbed for my rent money.
                                                            
Max walks over to Larry's brother
                                                            
                       MAX
By this man here ain't that
right, when the last time you been
in a cab
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
What I ain't robbed no one
                                                            
                       MAX
Man I recognize you by that tattoo
of Dennis Rodman with a dress on
your neck
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
That my fiance Berta damnit
                                                            
CAB ROBBER punches MAX in the face causing him to fly back
into the urn

The urn falls and break and Larry (in shit form) splatters
all over the church members
                                                            
                       LARRY'S MOTHER
My son oh my God you knock over my
son
                                                            
Max gets up and starts fighting with the cab robber

The minister tries to break it up only to get punched in his
face by Larry's mother who tried to get at Max.

Larry's EX-WIFE runs to the front gets on her knees and
wipes the feces on her face hysterically
                                                            
                       LARRY'S EX-WIFE
Don't know body step on my husband
                                                            
                       LARRY'S GIRLFRIEND
Bitch move that was my husband
                                                            

83.

They both start fighting. Other church members and family
run to the front and start fighting

one person step on Larry and slip

Peach's dog gets up runs to the big pile of Larry, does a
circle and craps on top of Larry.
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Come back here baby
                                                            
                       LARRY'S MOTHER
No you going to mix him up
                                                            
Larry's Mother runs and kick the dog
                                                            
                       PEACHES
Oh, no you did not just kick my
baby
                                                            
Larry's mother and Peaches start fighting.

Goatey is getting his ass kicked by a woman family member
for being with Max and he's screaming like a bitch.

A man is trying to drown the minister in the water where
they give the baptisms


Max corners cab robber in the bathroom cab robber throws a
punch miss and Max does one of his wrestling Russian moves
Nana taught him and does it on the cab robber, this move
knocked him out cold.
                                                            
                       MAX
Dam thank you Nana, whew I'm out
of shape.
                                                            
The cops bust in the restroom. They bring Max and the cab
robber out Detective Barnes walks over
                                                            
                       DETECTIVE BANKS
Let him go, this is who we want.
We have been looking for you a
long time, Thanks he's wanted for
a string of robberies
                                                            
                       CAB ROBBER
Man I had to help pay for the
funeral
                                                            
They take the cab robber away in handcuffs


84.

Max and Goatey are sitting in the children's bible study
room. their clothes are ripped up Max have a black eye, He
has shit stains on him.
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
Well that was a lovely service
                                                            
                       MAX
Yeah well at least he's caught and
I'm still out of money
                                                            
                       LARRY'S MOTHER
No you're not
                                                            
Larry's mother and the members of the church are standing
there all their clothes, Some teeth missing clothes are
ripped
                                                            
                       LARRY'S MOTHER
We didn't know Curtis paid for the
funeral with money he took from
you it would be wrong for us to
take it
                                                            
Larry's mother hands him cash in an envelope
                                                            
                       LARRY'S MOTHER
      (smiling)
There is a thousand plus 200 for
your trouble
                                                            
                       MAX
Oh Bless you thank you now I can
pay my rent
                                                            
Peaches snatch her rent and walks out with her dog in her
hand, and broken heels
                                                            
                       BOOTLEG
See now your set
                                                            
                       MAX
Not yet
                                                            
Max runs out of the church and jumps in the cab
                                                            
 
EXT. OFFICE BUILDING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The cab pulls up to the executive parking space

Max walks in past security
                                                            

85.

                       SECURITY
wait wait where you
                                                            
he grabs Max

Max clothes is torn and he's covered in feces

Security quickly lets him go
                                                            
                       SECURITY
whew where you been
                                                            
Max runs in the elevator
                                                            
                       MAX
      (talking to people
       in the elevator)
going on my 3rd interview
                                                            
they have a look of disgust on their faces
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE WAITING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
He walks pass the receptionist
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
Sir excuse me sir
                                                            
he comes back
                                                            
                       MAX
This won't take but a moment
                                                            
the phone is ringing

MRS PUNTANGE goes back to her nails

Max picks up the phone and throws it to her
                                                            
                       MAX
catch
                                                            
she spills her nail polish on her self catching the phone
                                                            
                       MISS. WILSON
      (stuttering)
hello
                                                            
Max knocks on the door then lets himself in Mr. HEAD is
sitting there with three silent guy and a potential client
                                                            

86.

they look in shock ad Max boldly let himself in covered once
again in a torn feces covered black suit
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Mr Maxine Jenkins what are you
doing here,I'll call security
                                                            
Max notice the clients face
                                                            
                       MAX
      (surprised)
hey I know you
                                                            
                       MR LEE
      (scared)
know me
                                                            
                       MAX
well not know you but know of your
case I read it in the paper
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
yes we have it handled now leave
                                                            
                       MAX
I think he has a good case
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
      (annoyed)
I said we have it handled
                                                            
                       MR LEE
I would like to hear him
                                                            
                       MAX
You work for Digitech the accounts
for Ulsten Corp.,I know you are in
charge with payrolls
                                                            
                       MR LEE
I'm very good with my job,been
there 23 years I don't know why it
don't know how it went missing
                                                            
                       MAX
It's the new software,I studied
your case
                                                            
Max grabs the labtop
                                                            
                       MAX
see Digitech gets all Win tell
Coputers
                                                            

87.

                       MR LEE
yes we did
                                                            
                       MAX
the software for transferring
funds is called Lightzone ,
Lightzone is in today news
                                                            
Max shows reading on laptop
                                                            
                       MAX
it had a hidden virus upon
installment
                                                            
                       MR LEE
      (smiling)
it's not my fault
                                                            
                       MAX
no it's not
                                                            
                       MR LEE
you have a good firm
                                                            
Mr Lee gets up
                                                            
                       MR LEE
I'll give the retainer to your
secretary
                                                            
Mr Lee shakes everyone's hand and leaves the office
                                                            
                       MR JOHN WACKOFF
Impressive
                                                            
                       MAX
look ever since I was a kid I
wanted to study law and be a
lawyer,it was a dream cut
temporarily when I became a
father.That's ok I wouldn't trade
that time for nothing in the
world.The passion was still
burning inside me so I never gave
up, oh it was hard but I did it. I
am standing in front of you in a
shredded black feces ridden suit
telling you I can be one of the
best lawyers on your team. I just
need a break
                                                            
                       BUSINESS PARTNER 1
I'm breaking the bet
                                                            

88.

                       MAX
did you just speak?
                                                            
                       BUSINESS PARTNER 1
yes I did
                                                            
                       MAX
ok, what bet
                                                            
                       BUSINESS PARTNER 2
Last year we had a bet who ever
was the 1st to speak owes a
quarter mill
                                                            
                       MAX
what, with all due respect I still
wouldn't said shit
                                                            
                       BUSINESS PARTNER 2
You seem quiet determine being
that you showed up like this twice
you must really want this position
it's yours
                                                            
                       MAX
Yes I do
                                                            
                       BUSINESS PARTNER 1
Show up Monday morning showered
and in a new suit
                                                            
                       MAX
Thank you so much
                                                            
Max gives the guys a big hug

They wipe themselves
                                                            
He runs out the door screaming happy
                                                            
 
INT. THE CAB - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Max picks up the 2-way
                                                            
                       MAX
      (smiling)
hey dispatch
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
yeah go a head cab 16 you ready to
work
                                                            

89.

                       MAX
yeah, but as a lawyer I'm quitting
but thank you for letting me work
man
                                                            
                       DISPATCHER DAN
knew it was to good ok man just
bring the cab back
                                                            
 
INT. IN OTIS CAB - DAY
                                                            
Otis is on the cab smoking a bowl

A Old LADY PROSTITUTE comes up and knocks on the window
                                                            
                       OLD LADY PROST
Can I catch a cab please
                                                            


THE END


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