Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

The Same
by Jerry James

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
(Unfinished) Guy. Girl. Best Friends.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



INT. SARAH'S LIVING AREA (OPEN PLAN LOUNGE/KITCHEN) - NIGHT
                                                            
Ben and Sarah are sitting on their couch watching TV. Ben is
trying in vain to poke Sarah's breasts as he always does.
Sarah is pushing him away as she always does. There is
nothing sexual about the interaction; it's the playfulness
that comes with knowing someone for 23 out of the 25 years
you've been alive.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (In an awkward
       voice)
Let me touch one.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Indignantly but
       playfully)
Never!
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Walking away)
You're the worst. I'm going to
bed. Don't slap your vagina too
much tonight.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You can't tell me what to do.
                                                            
 
INT. BEN'S BEDROOM - LATER
                                                            
Ben, laying in bed, masturbating vigorously causing his
bedhead to knock against the wall.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Rapping on the
       adjoining wall)
Stop whacking off so loudly,it's
fucking annoying.
                                                            
                       BEN
JEALOUS?! You're jealous.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Just hurry the fuck up so I can
sleep.
                                                            
                       BEN
You can come help if you want?
Actually, never mind, I got this.
                                                            

2.

Ben let's out an audible groan loud enough for Sarah and
probably the neighbours to hear. Both roll over and attempt
to sleep.
                                                            
 
INT. SARAH'S HOUSE - MORNING
                                                            
Ben, bashing on Sarah's door, as he does every morning to
try and get her up.
                                                            
                       BEN
Dude, get up, it's 10 past 8.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Half asleep but
       alert)
YOU GET UP!
                                                            
                       BEN
I am.
                                                            
                       SARAH
GOOD ON YOU! I don't want to go to
work. It's dick.
                                                            
                       BEN
You're a dick. Now haul arse.
                                                            
Sarah walks out to the bathroom with her head in her hands,
seemingly stressed beyond belief at the thought of having to
go to work.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Standing at the
       bathroom door)
Are you coming with me today or
getting the bus?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Nah, i'll come with you if that's
cool. At least that way I know
i'll be on time.
                                                            
                       BEN
Ok but hurry up. I'm leaving in
10.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm coming, i'm coming.
                                                            

3.

                       BEN
      (With a dirty
       drawl)
Yeah you are.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You wish.
                                                            
Ben walks out the front of the apartment and lights up a
cigarette. Sarah get's out of the shower, throws on a pair
of black pants, a white shirt and a black jacket and they
both leave together.
                                                            
 
INT. BEN'S CAR - MORNING
                                                            
Driving to work, talking shit as per usual. Ben abusing
several cars for idiotic driving and riding his horn.
Bombtrack by Rage Against the Machine can be heard on the
car speakers.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Man, you gotta calm down.
                                                            
A Toyota Yaris can be seen cutting Ben off.
                                                            
                       BEN
But they're fucking idiots. If you
can't drive like a normal person,
get off the fucking road. Yeah i'm
talking to you Yaris!
                                                            
Ben lights up a cigarette.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah, that's much safer. Driving
whilst smoking. I'm sure that's in
the handbook for careful driving.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Semi-Angrily)
DO. NOT. EVEN. START.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Do you think you'll ever give up?
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Angrily)
I said don't start.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm just asking.
                                                            

4.

                       BEN
No, you weren't just asking.
Whenever a non-smoker asks a
smoker if they ever consider
giving up, what they're really
saying is "You should give up".
This is no one's business but my
own. I've been smoking for 10
years, I know the fucking dangers.
Unbelievably, i'm not a fucking a
idiot. I can see the packets
telling me i'll probably shit out
a lung at some point or that my
mouth will turn into a gigantic
tumour. I will stop when I want
to. I don't want to at the moment
and no amount of querying from you
or anyone else is going to make
that happen sooner. So, in answer
to your "question", no, I don't
think i'll ever give up. I'll keep
smoking purely to spite you
bastards who keep asking daily if
I ever considering giving up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Man, you're angry.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah, I am. I tend to get angry
when I get asked redundant fucking
questions.
                                                            
Sarah doesn't respond and the last few seconds of the scene
are spent in silence.
                                                            
 
INT. BEN'S WORKPLACE - DAY
                                                            
It's a call centre like any other. People crammed into
cubicles trying to take several thousand calls a day whilst
getting hammered about their talk time. Ben is at his desk
finishing up his last call.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Using his
       Customer Service
       Voice)
Great. Yep, glad I could help. Is
there anything else I can do for
you? Ok, have a lovely day.
                                                            

5.

                       BEN
      (Off the phone and
       not using his
       customer service
       voice)
Fucking idiot. How do these people
live day to day, seriously. They
shouldn't be allowed to own a
fucking comp...
                                                            
Ben's rant is cut off by another call coming through.
                                                            
                       BEN
Welcome to Worldcomp, my name is
Ben, how can I help you?
                                                            
Ben starts to text Sarah whilst still on the phone asking
her if they're going for Friday drinks. He's interrupted by
a message on his computer from his manager.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Hi Ben, can I have a minute with
you please?
                                                            
                       BEN
      (In his best
       sarcastic typing)
Sure thing buddy, anything for
you.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Thanks, go meeting room No 2 when
you finish that call.
                                                            
 
INT. MEETING ROOM NO 2 - DAY
                                                            
Ben arrives and sees Fuckwad sitting there with a computer.
He knows what this is about. Call monitoring. He's fucked up
on a call. Fuckwad motions for him to have a seat.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
You know what this is about. We've
been here before. Have a listen to
the end of this call.
                                                            
Ben listens and realises he hasn't hung up the phone before
starting one of his rants. Client has disconnected on the
other end though.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
So, what do you have to say?
                                                            

6.

                       BEN
Yeah, I get it. The client had
disconnected though. There was no
risk of them hearing.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
It's not the point though, is it?
What if they were still there?
What if you just didn't realise?
What happens when the new starters
hear you talking like this?
                                                            
                       BEN
It'll give them a fair idea of
what they're in for?
                                                            
                       MANAGER
So that's how you feel about this
place and our clients, is it? That
this places makes you react the
way you do?
                                                            
                       BEN
It's how I've felt for the past 3
years I've been here. But, oddly,
I've never had a complaint raised
from a customer I've spoken to,
you guys have never given me a
warning for my behaviour and I do
my job well.
                                                            
                       MANAGER
Well, consider this your first
warning. Do it again and you're
gone. Your attitude is
unacceptable and if I could get
rid of you now, I would.
                                                            
                       BEN
Isn't it weird that we feel
exactly the same about each other?
                                                            
                       MANAGER
There's calls queuing up, better
get back on the phones.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah we've wasted enough time
already.
                                                            
 

7.

INT. DREADLOCKS BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Ben and Sarah, both sitting in a booth at their local
"shithole" bar talking shit. They've had 5 beers and Ben's
just come back with bourbon and 'Coke'. 'LA River' by Rancid
is heard in the background.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Gar, this bourbon and coke tastes
like shit.
                                                            
                       BEN
ahhh incorrect Margorie, bourbon
and Pepsi.
                                                            
                       SARAH
What the fuck man? You can't have
bourbon and Pepsi. It's bourbon
and Coke.
                                                            
                       BEN
It's 70c cheaper with Pepsi.
You're gonna drink it and you're
gonna float there and like it.
                                                            
During the last few beers, they've both noticed a couple,
probably in their late 30's, early 40's, looking at them.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I aint drinking it. You can drink
it and buy me a new one. AND WHY
THE FUCK ARE THOSE TWO PEOPLE
STILL STARING AT US?
                                                            
                       BEN
I dunno man but I will say I saw
them looking at us before. I will
also say that she is incredibly
good looking for an old chick.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah, she's not bad hey. Oh fuck,
they've seen us looking. Oh man,
they're walking over. Want me to
punch you in the face as a
diversion?
                                                            
                       BEN
What? No..not yet. Be cool man, be
cool.
                                                            

8.

The couple start to walk over. Sarah punches Ben in the face
but with no force. Ben gives her a death stare. The couple
keep approaching.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
      (Very matter of
       factly)
Hi, we couldn't help but notice
how attractive you both were and
we were wondering if we could buy
you a drink.
                                                            
Sarah mouths "we" to Ben with a concerned look on her face.
Ben shrugs.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah sure, why not. You're not
Rohypnol packing, serial rapists
are you?
                                                            
                       STEVE
Not at all. You can come with us
when we buy them if you want?
                                                            
                       BEN
Too lazy, too drunk.
                                                            
Leanne and Steve walk away to the bar.
                                                            
                       BEN
Holy fuck, what the hell is going
on?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I dunno man but we're getting free
drinks. I just hope we don't wake
up in a well in their basement
being asked to put lotion on our
skin.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah or I wake up with a vagina in
my arse.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Laughing)
Vagina in your arse hey?
                                                            
                       BEN
I meant cock. Fuck off. Shut up.
Go home. Ssshh here they come.
                                                            
Leanne and Steve return with drinks. Multiple drinks.
                                                            

9.

                       LEANNE
We got doubles of everything so no
one needs to get up anytime soon.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah well that's easier said than
done. I have the bladder of an 80
year old.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Uncomfortably
       chuckling)
Yeah..he...really...does..
                                                            
Everyone squirms a little from the awkwardness.
                                                            
                       BEN
Look, i'm hammered so i'm just
going to ask and don't take this
the wrong way, but what exactly do
you two want?
                                                            
                       LEANNE
I'm glad you asked. This may be a
little forward since we've known
you for 5 minutes but we've been
looking at you all night as you're
probably aware. My name is Leanne
and this is Steve. We're bored
with our sex life and would like
to know if you two would consider
coming back with us tonight for a
partner swap?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Oh jeeze...fuck...I dunno..
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Interrupting)
Well, firstly, we're not partners,
we're just best friends. I'm Ben
and this is Sarah. Secondly,
that's the weirdest offer I've
ever had at a bar. Actually it's
not, but there's no peanuts here
so I can't re-enact it for you. I
like your idea. I'm drunk and I
like it. I'm not sure if I like it
'cos i'm drunk or if I just like
it cos i'm...........DRUNK!
                                                            

10.

                       SARAH
Yeah, I dunno..can we get a minute
to talk it over?
                                                            
                       STEVE
Of course. We'll be at the bar.
                                                            
Steve and Leanne go to the bar. Sarah moves over to Ben's
side of the booth.
                                                            
                       BEN
Man, I gotta take a piss.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah in a minute. What the fuck
are we going to do about these
two?
                                                            
                       BEN
I say we go for it. That dude is a
good looking dude and I reckon
he'd give you a decent effort.
That woman is incredible and I
reckon they'd have pretty nice
sheets. I fucking love good
sheets.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Stop thinking about sheets for one
minute please. What if they're all
fucked up and crazy and shit?
                                                            
                       BEN
Dude, there's cameras everywhere
here. The bar staff know us. If we
go missing, it wouldn't be hard to
figure out who did it. If they
were nutso ditso, I think they
would've just hit us with their
car when we left the bar, dragged
our lifeless bodies inside and
then anally raped both of us
before dumping our bodies in the
river....never to be seen again.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You are...so..fucked up, but you
make a good point. I'm up for it.
Let's do it. Let's go tell them.
                                                            
                       BEN
Maybe i'll take a whizz in their
nice sheets.
                                                            

11.

Sarah shoots Ben a "what the fuck" look but grabs him while
he's sculling all the leftover drinks and walks him to the
bar. We see them talking to Leanne and Steve and then they
all leave together.
                                                            
 
INT. LEANNE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Leanne is driving, Steve is in the passenger seat and the
other two are in the back. Ben in squirming in pain from his
exploding bladder.
                                                            
                       SARAH
So, where do you guys live?
                                                            
                       STEVE
We've got a penthouse in the QV
Building. It's close to work for
both of us and since we have no
children, the apartment is easy on
the upkeep.
                                                            
                       BEN
Man, the QV building, that place
is swank as. What do you guys do?
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Steve's a Pediatrician and I'm a
partner at an accounting firm.
This is why we were out your way
tonight. This is not something we
want to conduct near our residence
given the people we know.
                                                            
                       BEN
Understandable. Although half the
people you work with probably do
way worse shit.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
But if no one sees it, it hasn't
happened.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Taps nose)
I understand. Actually, I don't,
since I earn probably 1/10th of
what you guys earn and the only
thing I have is stories from weird
shit happening to me.
                                                            

12.

                       STEVE
Well, you'll probably have another
story after tonight. Getting
propositioned by two 40-somethings
for sex.
                                                            
                       BEN
True, although i'll probably bang
on more about being in the QV
building than I will about this
whole swinging hootenanny. As a
matter of interest, what's the
thread count on your sheets?
                                                            
                       LEANNE
I only buy 500-700 thread count
Egyptian Cotton sheets. I just
can't sleep on anything else.
                                                            
                       BEN
That is outstanding. Truly
impressive.
                                                            
Ben mouths "700" to Sarah with a face filled with giddy
excitement. Sarah stares at him, shakes her head and turns
away.
                                                            
 
INT. LEANNE'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
They've obviously been sitting in silence for a deal of
time. Everyone seems anxious now that they're approaching
their destination. Ben is still squirming.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Ok, we're almost here.
                                                            
                       BEN
Oh man, thank fuck, cos I've
needed to piss since we left.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You're all class. Bet you're glad
you got this one now hey Leanne?
                                                            
                       LEANNE
As long as he doesn't urinate on
my sheets, i'll be happy.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Whispering)
There goes that idea.
                                                            
 

13.

INT. STEVE & LEANNE'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
A big, sprawling penthouse; as boring and lifeless as most
wealthy people's abodes. Open plan living and dining with
two rooms down a hallway. Steve and Leanne head straight for
the kitchen.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Ben, the toilet is around the
corner and to the left. Sarah,
please have a seat.
                                                            
                       BEN
Lady, you are my hero.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Sarah, what would you like to
drink? We've got wine, Vodka,
Bourbon, champagne? I assume Ben
will be happy with JW on the
rocks?
                                                            
                       SARAH
He'd be happy with cat's urine if
it was alcoholic. A red wine would
be lovely, thank you.
                                                            
Ben re-enters the room and sits next to Sarah. Steve and
Leanne are still in the kitchen finishing the drinks.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Whispering)
Dude, I quickly snooped. I found
some condoms in their cabinet.
They were extra large and high
sensitivity. Good luck. You're
gonna be walking like a cowboy
tomorrow.
                                                            
Steve walks back in with the drinks followed by Leanne.
                                                            
                       STEVE
I hope our place is comfortable
enough for you both.
                                                            
                       BEN
You're kidding, right? Even the
elevator is nicer than my
bedroom...and warmer.
                                                            

14.

                       STEVE
      (Chuckling)
Yeah, we've been here four years
now and it works for us.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Outside of work we're lazy so if
we don't have to go far to work or
do anything on our place of
residence, we're happy people.
This is why we have no plants. We
had one once, it died and I will
never replace it.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Getting more
       inebriated by the
       moment)
I understand you completely. By
the way, is this JW Blue? It is,
isn't it? I will give it the
respect it deserves and only sip
upon it.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Don't be silly. If you want to
drink it, drink it. There's 2 more
bottles in there.
                                                            
                       BEN
Who are you people? No one just
has 2 bottles of it "laying
around".
                                                            
                       LEANNE
We just enjoy the finer things. We
have money so we spend money on
things we like.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Good on you guys. But that then
poses the question as to why you
chose us? I mean, if we were
sitting on the side of the road,
you'd pretty much assume we were
homeless.
                                                            
                       STEVE
Well that's kinda the point. We
could have two high class escorts
here within 10 minutes if we
wanted. But we want something a
bit more fun, a bit
more..dirty..if that's the right
            (MORE)

15.

                       STEVE (cont'd)
word. Which, hearing it out loud,
it probably isn't.
                                                            
                       BEN
I get what you mean and it makes
sense. So we're like the
whatsherface to your Hugh Grant.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
An awfully crass comparison but
pretty much spot on. So, what do
you two do?
                                                            
Ben and Sarah both dejectedly say "Call Centre" at the same
time.
                                                            
                       STEVE
Seems there's no point asking you
anything more about it after that
reaction.
                                                            
                       BEN
And you'd be spot on there
partner.
                                                            
It goes silent. Ben catches Leanne's eye. She motions for
him to move. He finishes his drink, walks over and grabs her
hand. She stands up and then leads him to the closer
bedroom. Sarah moves over to Steve's armchair and sits on
the edge of it with her legs across him. We go to a
split-screen with Ben on the bed in the bedroom, Leanne
standing in front of him. Sarah and Steve are still in the
same position.
                                                            
                       STEVE
      (In tandem with
       Leanne)
Before we do anything, I have to
tell you something.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Before we go any further, there's
something you should know.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (In tandem with
       Ben)
Err..ok.
                                                            
                       BEN
Errr..ok.
                                                            

16.

                       STEVE
      (Still played in
       tandem with
       Leanne)
I have only ever slept with
Leanne. There has been no one
else. So if there's any
awkwardness, I apologise.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
I have only ever slept with Steve.
I've never slept with anyone else,
so bear with me if i'm out of
practice.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Oh, really? Wow. That's crazy but
it doesn't fuss me at all.
                                                            
                       BEN
Really? Fuck yeah, that's awesome.
Given how hot you are, i'd have
figured you'd have fucked at least
50 dudes in your lifetime.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
Err...thanks.
                                                            
They proceed to seduce each other in their respective rooms.
Sarah fucks Steve on the armchair. Ben has Leanne doggy
style in the bedroom. She's screaming harder the whole time.
It reaches it's crescendo with a sequential shot of their
faces when they orgasm.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Holy fuck your cock is massive. I
think I felt it tickle my stomach.
                                                            
                       STEVE
      (Completely
       exhausted)
Good. That was fucking amazing.
                                                            
Ben is still laying on top of Leanne with her face buried in
the pillow.
                                                            
                       BEN
Jesus. Fuck...me. I need a
cigarette.
                                                            
                       LEANNE
I need a new pussy. You ravaged
me. That was amazing. 24 years
since my first fuck. It was like
            (MORE)

17.

                       LEANNE (cont'd)
being fucked for the first time
all over again.
                                                            
                       BEN
Best. Compliment. Ever. Now, where
can I smoke?
                                                            
                       LEANNE
You'll have to go through the
lounge room to the balcony.
                                                            
Ben puts his clothes on and opens the bedroom door.
                                                            
                       BEN
I'M COMING OUT. COVER YOURSELVES
UP.
                                                            
Ben walks through. Sarah and Steve have a throw rug over the
top of them.
                                                            
                       BEN
Hey guys, what's up? Don't mind
me, just going for a cigarette.
                                                            
Sarah and Steve barely react. Ben goes to the balcony and
lights up a cigarette, closing the door behind him.
                                                            
                       STEVE
I need to go clean up. I'm
starting to dribble.
                                                            
Sarah walks out to the balcony
                                                            
                       SARAH
Can I have a drag?
                                                            
Ben offers the pack. Sarah waves him away and grabs his
cigarette. They both lean on the balcony but neither of them
say anything. Steve comes out after a minute or so.
                                                            
                       STEVE
Guys, Leanne's gone to sleep by
the looks of it. I'm going to go
and join her. I've left some cash
on the bench for a cab. Thanks for
a good night.
                                                            
Ben and Sarah smile but nothing is said. Ben finishes his
cigarette and they both walk inside. They find 300 in cash
on the bench as well as Steve's business card. On the card
is written "Thanks, Steve".
                                                            

18.

                       SARAH
300 bucks? For a cab?
                                                            
                       BEN
That's brilliant. That's paid for
our night and more.
                                                            
                       SARAH
That makes me feel uncomfortable.
Did I just get paid for sex?
                                                            
                       BEN
You didn't. I did. You just got a
business card and a thanks.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Hey, fuck you. Let's go. I'm tired
and starting to get a hangover
already.
                                                            
                       BEN
Hold on, I gotta do one thing.
                                                            
Ben runs off down the hallway and returns with a set of
sheets.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Talking through
       gritted teeth)
What the fuck are you doing?
                                                            
                       BEN
Just go...go. We'll never see them
again and they've got like 10 sets
of sheets in there anyway.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I hate you sometimes, I really do.
                                                            
 
INT. SARAH'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Sarah and Ben are laying in their beds. Both look horrible.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Yelling to Sarah)
Oi, are you awake?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah. Do you feel as shit as I do?
                                                            

19.

                       BEN
Fucking horror. My mouth is as dry
as a nun's nasty but I can't be
bothered getting up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
No shit hey. I need food as well.
Wanna go to the shops?
                                                            
                       BEN
Not at all but I will.
                                                            
They both get up and come out of their rooms at the same
time.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Looking in Ben's
       room)
Did you...did you put their sheets
on your bed before you went to
sleep?
                                                            
                       BEN
Fucking ay'. I figured I was going
to feel shit so I may as well wake
up in comfort.
                                                            
                       SARAH
How were they?
                                                            
                       BEN
Off the fucking chain. It's like
sleeping in a bed of cream.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm really happy for you. Lets go.
                                                            
 
INT. BEN'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Ben is smoking. Sarah is trying not to vomit.
                                                            
                       BEN
So, what'd you think about Leanne
and Steve?
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah they were cool. I mean, we
really only spent about 10 minutes
talking to them but they seemed
alright.
                                                            

20.

                       BEN
Well you seem to be walking ok so
I assume Steve just had those
condoms for show.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Nah dude, his cock was ridiculous.
I thought it was going to poke an
organ at one point. AND I'm only
the other chick he's fucked apart
from Leanne.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah, Leanne said the same. No
wonder she went so fucking nutso.
I have at least 20 times more
experience than her husband.That's
insane. I can't imagine being that
age having only slept with one
chick.
                                                            
They park and start to walk into the supermarket.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Me either man but I can see why
she was happy with Steve for so
long.
                                                            
                       BEN
Yeah ok, I get it. He's got a
massive cock. Please don't
emasculate me when I'm hungover.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Condescendingly)
Sorry buddy, maybe you'll get one
someday soon.
                                                            
Ben shoots a dirty and walks off. Sarah follows.
                                                            
                       BEN
What are you getting?
                                                            
                       SARAH
I dunno. I'm gonna get some
crackers and dip at least. I need
fruit as well. Maybe some
chocolate ice-cream as well.
                                                            
                       BEN
Jesus, are you hungover or
pregnant? That's a terrible
combination. I'm gonna get some
choc milk and mud cake and ice
            (MORE)

21.

                       BEN (cont'd)
cream. Go get your fruit and shit
and i'll get your ice-cream.
                                                            
Ben gets his stuff and stands near the checkouts. Sarah
comes back after 10 seconds.
                                                            
                       BEN
Thank christ you remembered toilet
paper. I think my AGB (after grog
bog) is going to be disgusting
today.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm sure everyone wanted to know
that.
                                                            
                       BEN
I couldn't really care less if
they do or not.
                                                            
They move up the line until they're greeted by their
checkout chick. Pleasant 18-19 year old. Just the kind of
person who will get on hungover person's nerves.
                                                            
                       CHECKOUT CHICK
Hi there, how are you today? Is
this altogether?
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Trying to return
       the pleasantness)
Yeah it is dude. I'm....Hungover
but OK. Yourself?
                                                            
                       CHECKOUT CHICK
Well thank you. Big night out
then?
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Pointing at Sarah)
For her it was a big one,
definitely. For me, I just kept it
tight, you know?
                                                            
                       CHECKOUT CHICK
      (Awkwardly
       Chuckling)
Ohh yeah. I know exactly what you
mean. That'll be 23.90 please.
                                                            
Transaction occurs. Sarah grabs the bags and leaves.
                                                            

22.

                       CHECKOUT CHICK
Thank you, have a great day.
                                                            
                       BEN
You too. Keep it tight.
                                                            
Ben follows Sarah with a childish grin on his face.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You truly are a fucking idiot.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (In a faux scream)
YOU LOVE IT!
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING AREA - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Sarah walks in, lays on the couch and puts The Simpsons on.
Ben goes to the kitchen and puts away Sarah's ice cream. He
then proceeds to open every cupboard looking for something.
Sarah senses the frustration.
                                                            
                       SARAH
What are you looking for?
                                                            
                       BEN
The blender. I can not see it
anywhere.
                                                            
                       SARAH
Yeah man, it's under the sink. I
put it in there the other day.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Still a little
       frustrated but
       not really)
Near all the cleaning shit and
chemical shit? That's good, that
works.
                                                            
                       SARAH
It'll be fine. Jesus, cool your
jets.
                                                            
Ben blitzes up a quarter of the choc milk with a quarter of
the ice cream. He proceeds to tip half the mixture over two
slices of cake he's put in a bowl and the rest into a glass.
He lays on the adjacent section of the couch to Sarah.
                                                            
                       SARAH
That is fucking gross.
                                                            

23.

                       BEN
It's fucking genius. It's so good.
I will call it Mud Slop.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You're not making it sound any
more appetising.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Still eating
       whilst he's
       talking)
Oh and mud cake does? Go ask
someone who's never heard of mud
cake and see if they want it.
They'll probably think you're
going to throw a pile of wet dirt
in their face and punch you before
you can.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Laughing)
Ok. Settle down man. Watch the TV
and relax.
                                                            
Ben finishes his plate of cake and most of his drink. Sarah
is still eating her crackers and dip. About 30 seconds
passes.
                                                            
                       BEN
Man, my guts don't feel so crash
hot.
                                                            
                       SARAH
That's what you get for being such
a massive pig.
                                                            
                       BEN
Fuck I gotta go. I'm gonna vom.
                                                            
Ben runs to the toilet and we can hear him dry reaching.
Eventually, it all comes backs up.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Laughing)
How's the mud slop tasting?
                                                            
                       BEN
      (In between dry
       retches)
Beautiful. As good coming up as it
was going down. Fuck off..watch
the TV.
                                                            

24.

                       SARAH
      (Still Laughing)
Glad to hear it. Good to see
you're keeping up your
drinking/vomiting ratio.
                                                            
                       BEN
      (Walking out of
       the bathroom)
Man, that was awesome. That
relieved so much nausea.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm glad you're feeling better.
                                                            
                       BEN
Mmhmm, time for replacement cake.
                                                            
Sarah shakes her head.
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING AREA - EVENING
                                                            
Ben and Sarah both asleep on the couch. DVD menu playing
inane music/theme song on repeat. Ben stirs and starts
poking Sarah in the face.
                                                            
                       BEN
Wake up. Wake up. Let's go get a
drink.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (Annoyed and half
       asleep)
Stop that. Now. I don't know if I
can, man. I'm still pretty rooted.
                                                            
                       BEN
Come on! We've got money and
nothing else to do.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
Feedback
From Matt Canon Date 7/15/2015 ****
Has this been made yet? I really enjoyed it. Would love to help this get made if possible.

From Shawn Smith Date 7/24/2012 ****
I like it. It was like a perverted When Harry Met Sally.

From John Reid Date 7/19/2012 ****
I enjoyed it immensely. Very, very funny. Imagining those characters in my head made me laugh. Can't wait for the finished version. Well done.


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2018, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com