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No Substitute
by Scott MacLachlan (macwriter@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG   Genre: Family   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

A laid off auto mid-level manager gets more than he bargained for when he becomes a substitute teacher.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
It's a pleasant early spring day as GREG FITZPATRICK, a
40ish man in a shirt and tie, wheels a battered 1965 Mustang
into a parking lot. He gets out and walks toward an office
building.
                                                            
 
INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg pours a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter, then
passes a line of cubicles as he walks toward his desk.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY
                                                            
Greg sits at a non-descript desk in a similarly non-descript
cubicle. Very corporate. He turns on his computer, and while
waiting for it to start up, makes a phone call.
                                                            
                       GREG
Charles, Greg Fitzpatrick here.
      (beat)
I'm great. You?
      (beat)
Nope, I've got my own place now.
Living the bachelor lifestyle
again since the divorce.
      (beat)
Yeah. Say, the reason I'm calling
you is I can get that purchase
order out to you this afternoon.
      (beat)
Great. I appreaciate it. I'll see
you soon, all right? Bye now.
                                                            
Greg taps his cell phone off and focuses on his laptop on
his desk, scrolling and typing a quick entry. As he picks up
his phone again, NICK walks up behind him. Greg looks over
his shoulder at him.
                                                            
                       NICK
Hey, Greg. How's it going?
                                                            
                       GREG
What's up, Nick?
                                                            
                       NICK
Roger wants to see you in his
office.
                                                            

2.

                       GREG
Good news or bad?
                                                            
                       NICK
I'm sorry, Greg.
                                                            
Greg nods, sets the phone back down. He looks around his
cubicle.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, let's get on with it.
                                                            
Greg gets up and follows Nick through a maze of cubicles to
ROGER's office. Along the way some workers give Greg a
sympathetic look, others avert their eyes. Many of the
cubicles are empty.
                                                            
 
INT. ROGER'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg leans into the doorway. Bill is sitting sitting at a
large, cleared desk To the side of the spartan office is a
CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hey, Roger. You wanted to see me?
                                                            
                       ROGER
Greg, Greg. Come in. Close the
door. Have a seat.
                                                            
Greg does as Bill asks, shuts the door and sits down
opposite Bill. He glances warily at the security guard.
                                                            
                       ROGER
Greg, we've known each other a
long time. That doesn't make this
any easier. I've gone to bat for
you, but you know how this is.
We're going to have to let you go.
The budget just isn't there. I'm
sorry.
                                                            
                       GREG
Shit, Riger. I've been here 15
years. Things are starting to pick
up. Just this month...
                                                            
                       ROGER
I know, Greg. You've done good
work for us. And we had some good
times, didn't we? But you've seen
the numbers. You know where we
stand. We're in survival mode
            (MORE)

3.

                       ROGER (cont'd)
here.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, yeah.
                                                            
Bill reaches into a drawer and pulls out a manila envelope.
                                                            
                       ROGER
Here's a packet for you. There's a
check for your unused vacation
days and sick days. And what
you'll need for unemployment and
such. Security here will escort
you back to your desk, and you'll
have 15 minutes to gather your
belongings. IT has already taken
your computer while you're in
here.
                                                            
                       GREG
Efficient.
                                                            
                       ROGER
Yeah. Unfortunately we've had a
lot of practice.
                                                            
Greg and Roger stand and shake hands.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hell of a year, Roger. First I
lose my marriage, now I lose my
job.
                                                            
                       ROGER
You're a smart guy, Greg.
Something will come up. In a way,
you're one of the lucky ones. Some
of us are going to end up going
down with the ship. You don't have
anything really tying you down
now, do you? Get out of this
state. Head out west. Go south.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah. Maybe.
                                                            
                       ROGER
I'm really sorry.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah. Sure. Still sucks. See you
around, Roger.
                                                            

4.

                       ROGER
I hope not, if you know what I
mean. But don't be a stranger
either. If you need anything, a
recommendation or something, let
me know, all right?
                                                            
Greg nods, then turns and walks out, with the security guard
right behind. They make the same walk back through the
cubicle maze to Greg's desk.
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE CUBICLE - DAY
                                                            
Greg puts a few meager belongings and personal effects in a
cardboard box. The security guard watches silently. Greg
holds up a tattered box of crackers.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hungry?
                                                            
The guard does not reply.
                                                            
                       GREG
No, I guess not.
                                                            
Greg picks up a baseball, looks at it, puts it in the box.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, I guess that's it. I'd say
after you, but I suppose it's the
other way around in this case?
                                                            
The guard nods and gestures for Greg to lead. The pair again
make the walk through the cubicle maze. The other workers
watch silently, some with a knowing nod or a slight wave.
Greg nods at several as he walks by, nods at others.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to himself)
Can't say I'm going to miss him.
Or her. Or her. Well, maybe her.
                                                            
 
INT. CORPORATE OFFICE LOBBY - DAY
                                                            
Greg carries the cardboard box through the lobby. The
security guard walks with him silently.
                                                            
 

5.

EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches his car and sets the box on the ground while
fumbling for his keys.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, I guess this is it.
                                                            
Silence from the security guard.
                                                            
                       GREG
Can you speak?
                                                            
                       CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD
No, sir. Except to wish you good
luck, sir.
                                                            
Greg stares at him a moment. He puts his box in the back
seat and gets in.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, at least I know you can
speak. Good luck to you, too. Get
off before she goes all the way
under, OK?
                                                            
                       CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD
Sir?
                                                            
                       GREG
Never mind. Just don't let these
people jerk you around. It's a
harsh world in there. Not worth
your soul.
                                                            
                       CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD
Thank you, sir. And hey, I like
your car.
                                                            
Greg smiles, then gets in the car and slowly wheels out of
the parking lot. It's less than half full. He waves at the
gate guard on the way out and drives home.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Greg pulls into the driveway of his apartment building, an
old house with one unit upstairs. On the porch reading a
magazine and drinking tea is MRS. MOORE, Greg's elderly
landlady. Greg heads toward the exterior staircase carrying
his box.
                                                            

6.

                       GREG
Afternoon, Mrs. Moore.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
You're home early, dear.
                                                            
                       GREG
Not by choice. I got laid off.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, no. How could they?
                                                            
                       GREG
It's the economy, Mrs. Moore.
Fate's way of telling me it's time
for a change, I suppose.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, I hear about the economy every
day on the news. Doesn't seem like
it would be that hard to fix,
would it? Shouldn't be buying all
this foreign crap, I suppose. But
I'm sure you'll find something.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, Mrs. Moore?
                                                            
Greg smiles and turns to leave.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
But Greg?
                                                            
Greg turns back.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, Mrs. Moore?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
The rent is still due on the
first.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, Mrs. Moore.
                                                            
Greg turns again and continues up to his apartment, leaving
Mrs. Moore to her tea and her magazine.
                                                            
 

7.

INT. GREG'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
A bachelor pad, yet tidy. Greg puts his box on the couch and
walks into the kitchen, greeting his cat. And a puddle of
vomit on the floor.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hey, Barfy. Oh, not again...
                                                            
Greg grabs some paper towels and cleans up the mess.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, Barfy, looks like I'm
officially an unemployment
statistic. So now what do we do? I
doubt there is any money in the
feline caretaker industry. Or
maybe there is. I don't know.
There are some crazy people out
there. Guess my odds for a date
next weekend pretty much just hit
zero, too, huh? Not that the odds
were all that great before anyway.
Guess I'll just be the crazy old
cat guy or something.
                                                            
Finishing, Greg grabs a can of beer from the refrigerator
and plops in front of a computer.
                                                            
                       GREG
Time to jazz up the 'ol resume,
buddy, and see what's out there.
And figure out how to file for
unemployment, too, I suppose.
Never thought I would be doing
that.
                                                            
Greg sips his beer, pets the cat, and studies the screen
intently.
                                                            
                       GREG
Boy, there really isn't much out
there, is there?
                                                            
No response from the cat.
                                                            
                       GREG
Guess I really do need to get the
'ol resume polished up. Should
have done that a long time ago, I
suppose.
                                                            
A few more clicks on the computer.
                                                            

8.

                       GREG
Hmmm. Earn $5,000 a week from
home. Wouldn't that be nice?
      (beat)
Wait a second. What do we have
here? Substitute teachers needed
immediately? How hard could that
be?
                                                            
Greg dials his cell phone while continuing to peruse the job
listings.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hi, I'm calling about your posting
for substitute teachers...
                                                            
 
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
MR. JOHNSON, a substitute teacher, is sitting nervously at a
desk. General mayhem swirls around him. Some students are
drawing on the board, some playing cards, and one couple is
close to making out in the back of the room.

A student throws a paper airplane at Mr. Johnson.

After a few moments, Mr. Johnson stands up, looks around and
walks out the door.

As the door closes, a hand reaches toward the pencil
sharpener mounted on the wall, and with a deft twist, pulls
the cover off and places it in a backpack.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Johnson walks down the deserted hallway, encountering a
TEACHER en route to the office.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Excuse me, aren't you Mr. Johnson?
Where are you going? Aren't you
the sub for Mrs. Kinney? Who is
with your class?
                                                            
The man continues walking.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Mr. Johnson, you can't just leave
like this!
                                                            

9.

                       MR. JOHNSON
      (continuing to
       walk)
The hell I can't.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
DAWN MILLER, an attractive 40ish woman, sits at a desk
behind a sign that reads "Substitute Teacher Coordinator."
Mr. Johnson rapidly approaches.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Mr. Johnson...
                                                            
                       MR. JOHNSON
They're animals!
                                                            
Mr. Johnson spins and walks out. Dawn sighs, takes a
clipboard and crosses Mr. Johnson's name off a list.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Well, he almost made it to the end
of the day. Who are you going to
get to cover the rest of the hour?
                                                            
                       DAWN
You really think there is anyone
left in that room?
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
No, I suppose not.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Let's see how the other one did.
                                                            
Dawn watches the clock click toward 2:30. The bell sounds
and soon the office and halls are filled with students. Dawn
waits breathlessly, until a WOMAN SUBSTITUTE enters the
office, visibly upset and crying.
                                                            
                       WOMAN SUBSTITUTE
I'm sorry, Dawn. I just can't do
this.
                                                            
                       DAWN
That's all right, Mrs. Gordon.
Thank you.
                                                            
Dawn takes her clipboard. Stares at it a moment. She strikes
Mrs. Gordon from her list.
                                                            

10.

                       SECRETARY 1
Still two months to go, Dawn. You
got any left?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Enough, I hope. One new one to
try.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Ooh. Rookie. Good luck.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah. Thanks.
                                                            
Dawn looks at the list. At the bottom is the name Greg
Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg is sound asleep. The alarm clock on a nightstand reads
5:15 a.m. The cell phone on the nightstand rings. Greg
groans.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (suppresses a yawn)
Hello?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Hi, this is Dawn Miller from Black
Creek High School. I see all your
substitute application paperwork
is in order at the district
office. Are you available to sub
for Mrs. Kinney's math classes
today?
                                                            
Greg sits up now and rubs his forehead.
                                                            
                       GREG
Um, yeah, sure.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Great! Thank you so much. I'll see
you here at seven thirty.
                                                            

11.

                       GREG
Yeah, seven thirty. All right. See
you then.
                                                            
Greg glances at the clock and groans. He falls back on the
bed for a moment, then gets up pours a bowl of cereal. He
sits down at his computer and peruses the screen.
                                                            
                       GREG
Nope. No job offers today. Looks
like subbing it is.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Greg, dressed very professionally in coat and tie, walks
down the stairway from his apartment and encounters Mrs.
Moore, already at work in her flower garden.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good morning, Mrs. Moore.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Good morning, dear! You look
spiffy. Did you get your job back?
                                                            
                       GREG
Nope. Trying something new.
Substitute teaching.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Substitute teaching! For a man of
your qualifications?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (grins)
Well, desperate times call for
desperate measures. Have to pay
the rent, you know.
                                                            
Mrs. Moore smiles.
                                                            
                       GREG
Gotta go, wouldn't want to be late
for my first day at school!
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
I suppose so. Good luck, dear!

You're probably going to need it.
                                                            
Greg gets in his car, waves to Mrs. Moore, and drives off.
                                                            
 

12.

EXT. BLACK CREEK HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Students walk park their cars, hang out, talk and get ready
for another day of school. Among them are CARLY BROOKS, TROY
SPENCER and A.J. MARTINEZ. They watch as a group of emo kids
walk by.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Man, I can't wait to get out of
this place.
                                                            
                       TROY
Just a couple more months, Carly.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah, I know, Troy. Then you'll be
off to college, and who knows what
A.J. here will do.
                                                            
                       A.J.
What?
                                                            
                       CARLY
See?
                                                            
                       TROY
So what are you gonna do? Stay
with your mom?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah, probably. I hate to leave
her alone. Go to community college
or something.
                                                            
                       TROY
Your mom's a big girl, Carly. She
could meet someone. Does she ever
go on dates?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Gross. I don't even like to think
about it. She doesn't. That I know
of. Nobody around here is good
enough for my mom anyway.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Your mom's hot, Carly.
                                                            
                       CARLY
You're disgusting! Just shut up.
Don't get me wrong, I want to get
out of this place. But I don't
feel like I can leave.
                                                            

13.

                       TROY
You miss him, don't you?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Who, my dad? Yeah. But that whole
thing still pisses me off. I hate
her.
                                                            
Carly, Troy and A.J. watch as Greg wheels his car into an
open spot nearby, gets out and begins to walk toward the
building among the throng of teenage students.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh. My. God. And what do we have
here?
                                                            
                       TROY
New sub?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Nice wheels.
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (looks at A.J.)
You're kidding, right?
                                                            
                       A.J.
'65 Mustang, man. That's sweet.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Hmph. More likely he just can't
afford a new one. I hate subs. I
give him until lunch.
                                                            
A.J. and Troy laugh and head inside with Carly.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters the office and immediately notices Dawn. He
approaches her desk, where she is shuffling through
paperwork.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hi, I'm Greg Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ah, Mr. Fitzpatrick! Thanks for
coming.
                                                            
                       GREG
Sure, sure. No problem. So, how's
this work?
                                                            

14.

                       DAWN
I just need you to sign in here,
and here's a packet of everything
you should need, key to the room,
attendance sheets, lesson plan.
And a copy of the discipline
policy, which basically says a kid
gets three strikes. They cause you
three problems, you send them to
Mr. Delaney. They usually stop at
two. Most of the time.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (signing)
Uh huh, uh huh. Mr. Delaney, got
it.
                                                            
                       DAWN
You'll be in room 512. That's out
the door, to the left, second
hallway on the right.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (turning to go)
Thanks.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ah, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, Mrs. Miller?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Miss Miller. Do you have any
experience in the classroom?
                                                            
                       GREG
I haven't been in one in more than
20 years, Miss Miller.
                                                            
Dawn smiles. Greg smiles and takes piece of candy from the
bowl on Dawn's desk, turns and walks out into the hallway.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Cute.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Let's not go there. Right now,
he's just a plug in the dam.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
He wasn't wearing a ring.
                                                            

15.

                       DAWN
Nothing gets by you, does it?
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
You must have noticed, too?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Maybe.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
And did you see his eyebrows go up
when you corrected him and said
"Miss" Miller?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, just stop.
                                                            
Carly, Troy and A.J. enter and approach Dawn's desk. Each of
them takes a handful of candy from the bowl.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Hey, mom.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Hi, Carly.
                                                            
                       TROY
Hi, Miss Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Good morning, Troy. I heard you
had a tough game yesterday.
                                                            
                       TROY
Yeah, we ended up losing them
both. And I had a big o-fer.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Hi, Miss Miller. You look nice
today. Did you do something
different with your hair?
                                                            
Carly elbows A.J.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (smiles)
Good morning, A.J. Thank you.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Who's the newb?
                                                            

16.

                       DAWN
Get to class. And be good .Keep an
eye on her for me, will you Troy?
                                                            
                       TROY
Will do, Miss Miller.
                                                            
Carly shoulders her backpack, shrugs and leaves. Dawn sighs
and returns to her paperwork.
                                                            
 
INT. MRS. KINNEY'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters the room, sets his things on the desk, takes off
his coat, hangs it on the back of a chair and approaches the
board as the students file in and settle into their seats,
mostly looking bored and uninspired. Among them are Carly,
Troy and A.J. Greg writes MR. FITZPATRICK on the board and
turns.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good morning. I'm Mr. Fitzpatrick.
According to Mrs. Kinney's notes,
you're assignment was to finish
the last 10 problems on page 222
last night, and she wants you to
trade papers and we'll correct
them as a class. So...
                                                            
                       CARLY
Mr. Fitzpatrick, I think you're
supposed to take attendance first.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, how about when I collect the
papers, I'll cross check whose
paper I have against the list. If
I don't have a paper, you're
absent.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I don't have a paper, and I'm
here.
                                                            
                       GREG
And why don't you have a paper?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Cuz I didn't do it.
                                                            
Rest of class snickers. Greg pauses to assess the situation.
                                                            

17.

                       GREG
All right, off to Mr. Delaney's
office.
                                                            
                       CARLY
What?! You can't do that... I get
three strikes. You didn't give me
even one yet.
                                                            
                       GREG
Strike one - you interrupted me
and didn't raise your hand to
speak. Strike two - you didn't do
the assignment. Strike three - you
didn't show up for class.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Dude, I'm right here!
                                                            
                       GREG
First, it's not "dude." It's Mr.
Fitzpatrick. As I said, I don't
have your paper, therefore you're
not here. Good bye. Anyone else?
                                                            
Silence from the class.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good, let's get started.
                                                            
Carly lingers a moment, then heads out of the room,
muttering.
                                                            
                       CARLY
What a dick.
                                                            
                       STUDENT 2
      (to GREG)
Usually when they call you that,
it means you're doing something
right.
                                                            
                       GREG
Right. Thanks. Anyone else?
                                                            
The students stare at him for a moment, then get their
paperts out and trade them.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right, who wants to take
problem 32?
                                                            
 

18.

INT. TEACHER BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters the teacher break room with his lunch bag and
has a seat among a group of veteran teachers. He nods a
greeting and begins unwrapping his brown-bag lunch.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
First day?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yup. So far, so good.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Who you in for?
                                                            
                       GREG
Mrs. Kinney. Math. I'm Greg
Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
Ah. We don't usually learn the
names. The subs usually don't
stick around long enough.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
So far it's actually going OK. I
sent one kid out first thing, and
the rest seemed to get the
message.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Did you lose your pencil sharpener
cover yet?
                                                            
                       GREG
Did I lose what now?
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Your pencil sharpener cover.
Someone has been stealing the
covers off them. I keep mine in my
desk now.
                                                            
                       GREG
Why in the world would anyone take
a pencil sharpener cover?
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
Not just a pencil sharpener cover.
All of the pencil sharpener
covers. Some diabolical plot, no
doubt. Or the little bastards are
selling them for scrap for drug
            (MORE)

19.

                       TEACHER 3 (cont'd)
money. If I ever get my hands on
who's doing it...
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Relax, they're just pencil
sharpeners.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Yeah, first it's pencil
sharpeners. Then it's computers.
Then it's cars. FPA, man. Future
prisoners of America.
                                                            
                       GREG
I'll keep my eyes open.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
There ya go. Anything else, I'm
just a couple doors down.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks.
                                                            
Greg gets up to leave.
                                                            
                       GREG
I guess maybe I'll see you all
tomorrow.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
Tomorrow. That's a good one. We'll
see!
                                                            
Greg leaves.
                                                            
 
INT. MRS. KINNEY'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks in the room and glances at the pencil sharpener.
The cover is missing.
                                                            
                       GREG
I'll be damned.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg, briefcase in one hand, file of papers in the other,
approaches Dawn's desk. Dawn watches apprehensively. Greg
hands Dawn the folder.
                                                            

20.

                       GREG
Here you go, Miss Miller. So, uh,
how does the payment thing work
for this?
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (sighs)
I figured. You'll receive a check
from the district in about two
weeks. Thanks for coming in.
                                                            
                       GREG
Wait, what, that's it? You won't
call me again?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Again? You want to be called
again? Um, sure! It's... it's just
so few have requested that lately.
Thank you, Mr. Fitzpatrick!
                                                            
                       GREG
Greg.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Right. Yes, chances are I will
call you tomorrow morning. Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks, Miss Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Dawn.
                                                            
                       GREG
Dawn. All right. See you tomorrow,
Dawn.
                                                            
Greg leaves.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Were you just flirting with him,
Dawn?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No. And don't you dare tell Carly.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Of course not.
                                                            
Dawn spots MR. DELANEY approaching.
                                                            

21.

                       DAWN
Oh, shit.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Dawn, have a sec?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Sure. What's up, Mr. Delaney?
                                                            
                       GREG
It's Carly. And the sub. The new
one? He sent her down to me this
morning. I gave her the usual
speech, but I don't think she's
listening to me anymore.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'm sorry, Mr. Delaney. I'll talk
to her.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
I appreciate it. This close to
graduation, I'd hate to see her
blow it.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah. Thanks.
                                                            
Mr. Delaney walks away.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
That didn't take her long.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ugh.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Greg pulls into the drive, gets out of the car and heads
toward the stairway. Mrs. Moore is working in her flower
garden again.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
How did it go, dear?
                                                            
                       GREG
It went fine, Mrs. Moore. But I'm
really tired. I'm sorry about the
rent this month, it might be a
week or so.
                                                            

22.

                       MRS. MOORE
I know you've always been good for
it. But it is getting late.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
Thanks. I'll have it. Things have
just been tight, and this job is
just temporary.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
I know, I know. But I've got big
plans for this house, you know.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (wrinkles forehead)
What kind of plans?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
      (smiles)
In good time, Greg. But now you
look exhausted! Run along and take
care of yourself!
                                                            
                       GREG
All right. Thanks again, Mrs.
Moore.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg collapses on bed and falls fast asleep. His cat jumps
on the bed and curls next to him.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg is sound asleep. The alarm clock reads 5:40. The cell
phone on the nightstand rings and he reaches to answer.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (yawns)
Hello?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Hi, Mr. Fitzpatrick. It's Dawn
Miller from Black Creek High
Schoool. Are you available to sub
for Mr. King's government class
today?
                                                            
                       GREG
You let me sleep in today.
                                                            

23.

                       DAWN (on phone)
Sorry?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
I was starting to think you
weren't going to call.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Sometimes the teachers call in
late. Can you do it?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah. See you at seven thirty.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Thanks so much Mr. Fitzpatrick.
See you then.
                                                            
                       GREG
Mm hm. Bye.
                                                            
Greg swings out of bed and rubs his head to wake up.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks down the stairs and toward the driveway, waving
at Mrs. Moore, who is sitting at a table in her window with
a cup of coffee and a magazine with a beach image on the
cover.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches Dawn at her desk.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Thanks for coming in again, Mr.
Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       GREG
Greg.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (smiling)
Right. Greg. Let's see... Mr.
Martin. Government. Room 320.
Here's your packet. Looks like
they're watching a movie today.
                                                            

24.

                       GREG
Good to know government class is
pretty much the same since I had
it. Sounds easy enough.
                                                            
                       GREG
Let's hope so. Just keep a close
eye on 'em, OK?
                                                            
                       GREG
Got it. Thanks.
                                                            
Greg turns and leaves the office, while Carly enters.
                                                            
                       CARLY
He's back?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yes, Carly. And I didn't get a
chance to talk to you last night
about your stunt yesterday. Not
cool. I had to smooth things over
with Mr. Delaney. Not fun.
                                                            
                       CARLY
He didn't have to send me out. I
didn't do anything.
                                                            
                       DAWN
My understanding is that's exactly
why you got sent out. Carly,
there's only a month left, then
you're out of here. Just because
your father ran off with a sub
doesn't mean you have to act all
vindictive against the rest of
them.
                                                            
Carly rolls her eyes and sighs. A bell rings.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly, I'm serious. You do what
any teacher tells you to do. For
me. All right? Now get to class.
                                                            
                       CARLY
OK, OK. See you later.
                                                            
Carly leaves. Dawn watches her and sighs.
                                                            
 

25.

INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg stands at the head of a class of boisterous students,
including Carly, Troy and A.J. Greg looks at Carly and nods;
she glares back.

Another student is sharpening a pencil. The sharpener still
has its cover.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right, settle in. As I'm sure
you've ascertained by now, Mr.
King is not here today. I'm Mr.
Fitzpatrick. Mr. King left us a
video with a worksheet I'll hand
out in a second. The first two
hours had no problems with this,
so let's make this an easy day for
all of us, all right? Mr. King
also left me his seating charts,
so I'll run through that while you
are watching the video to take
attendance. Questions?
                                                            
The class looks bored, so Greg inserts the DVD in the
machine, flips off the lights and hands out the worksheet.
                                                            
                       GREG
Just leave these in the basket on
your way out at the end of the
hour.
                                                            
In the back of the room, Carly motions to another student,
VANESSA. The pair sneaks out a door that opens to a
storeroom in the back of the classroom.

Greg continues to take attendance at the desk.
                                                            
                       GREG
Carly Brooks?
                                                            
Silence.
                                                            
                       GREG
I saw Carly when she came in.
Where'd she go?
                                                            
Silence.
                                                            
                       GREG
Nobody saw her?
                                                            
Troy looks around, says nothing.
                                                            

26.

                       STUDENT 1
I think I saw her and Vanessa
sneak out the back door.
                                                            
                       GREG
You think you saw? Or you saw?
                                                            
                       STUDENT 1
I saw.
                                                            
                       GREG
With Vanessa Peterson?
                                                            
                       STUDENT 1
Yeah.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to TROY)
You, what's your name?
                                                            
                       TROY
Troy.
                                                            
                       GREG
Troy, can I trust you enough to
leave you in charge for two
minutes?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (looks around)
Yeah, I guess.
                                                            
                       GREG
You guess?
                                                            
                       TROY
Yes, you can.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right, Troy, I come back and
anyone else is AWOL, it's on you.
Got it?
                                                            
                       TROY
Yeah.
                                                            
Greg scans the rest of the class and heads toward the door.
                                                            
                       GREG
The rest of you keep watching the
video, I'll be right back.
                                                            
Greg leaves the room.
                                                            

27.

                       A.J.
Teacher's pet.
                                                            
                       TROY
Shut up.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Better not let Carly find out.
Where'd she go, anyway?
                                                            
                       TROY
How should I know. You know how
she is. Now don't get me busted. I
get sent to Delaney, I don't play.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (throws paper ball
       at A.J.)
Shut up!
                                                            
                       A.J.
That might be a good thing, the
way you been playing lately.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Greg scans the hallway in time to see two figures enter the
girls bathroom.

He walks toward the door, pauses a moment, then enters.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
Inside are Carly and Vanessa, talking and giggling.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh my god. Dude, what the hell?
                                                            
                       GREG
I thought we established yesterday
my name is Mr. Fitzpatrick, not
dude.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
You can't come in here.
                                                            
                       GREG
I can't?
      (examines hands,
       wiggles thumbs)
Opposable thumbs allow me to open
            (MORE)

28.

                       GREG (cont'd)
doors. Sure I can.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Well, you're not supposed to come
in here.
                                                            
                       GREG
And neither are you two during
class without permission. Back you
go.
                                                            
                       CARLY
You're not going to send me to Mr.
Delaney again, are you?
                                                            
                       GREG
Tell you what. You don't tell
anyone where I found you, I don't
tell anyone where I found you.
Deal?
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Deal.
                                                            
                       GREG
Carly?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Fine.
                                                            
Greg smiles and marches the pair back to class.
                                                            
 
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters the room with Carly and Vanessa. The rest of the
students quiclky stop talking. Carly and Vanessa take their
seats. Greg looks at the pencil sharpener. The cover is
missing.
                                                            
                       GREG
Aw, crap.
                                                            
 
INT. TEACHER BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Hey, Greg, you're back!
                                                            
Greg takes a seat amongst the other teachers eating their
lunches.
                                                            

29.

                       TEACHER 1
Who you here for today?
                                                            
                       GREG
Mr. King.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Let me guess, a movie? How's it
going?
                                                            
                       GREG
I only lost two.
                                                            
The others stop eating and look at Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
I got 'em back.
                                                            
The other teachers laugh.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
I don't want to know.
                                                            
                       GREG
No, you don't.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
You might just make it, Greg.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters the office and drops his materials off at Dawn's
desk.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Any problems?
                                                            
                       GREG
Nothing I couldn't handle.
                                                            
Dawn smiles. Greg winks at her and exits. Dawn shoots a look
at the other secretary, who raises an eyebrow.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg is awake, lying in bed. The clock reads 5:30 when the
phone rings. Greg answers.
                                                            

30.

                       GREG
Good morning, Miss Miller. I was
hoping you'd call.
                                                            
                       DAWN
You're up early.
                                                            
                       GREG
Couldn't sleep.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Can you sub for Mr. Waddel's
English class today?
                                                            
                       GREG
I'm there. Seven thirty.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
See you then.
                                                            
                       GREG
Bye.
                                                            
Greg snaps his phone closed, leans back a moment, then gets
out of bed.
                                                            
 
INT. TEACHER BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Greg!
                                                            
Greg sits down with the other teachers eating lunch.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hi, guys.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Three days in a row. You're
getting to be a regular.
                                                            
                       GREG
I guess that's good, right?
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
You bet. But wait until you've
been here 25 years.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
So who are you today?
                                                            

31.

                       GREG
Waddel. English. Let's see, so far
today I had one kid ask to go to
the bathroom, I haven't seen him
since, and another girl didn't
realize an assignment was due
today and started to cry.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Who disappeared?
                                                            
                       GREG
Kevin Straw.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
I found him wandering the halls
and sent him straight to Delaney.
I don't think we'll have to worry
about Mr. Straw for a while.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks. I don't know how you guys
do it.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
One day at a time, man.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Don't listen to him. It's not so
bad, really. You're still here,
you must be doing something right.
Keep sending any troublemakers to
Delaney. That's why he's here.
Just don't ever let them smell
fear.
                                                            
A bell rings.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Well, back to molding young minds.
Good luck, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, thanks.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
See you tomorrow?
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, if another one of you takes
the day off, I'll be here.
                                                            

32.

                       TEACHER 2
      (laughs)
All right, then. See you.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
Later, Greg.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg is asleep in bed. The clock reads 5:25. The phone
rings. Greg answers it.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Good morning, Greg. It's Dawn. You
up for some science today?
                                                            
                       GREG
Mmm. My favorite. I got C's in
science.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (laughs)
Well, so long as you can make them
at least believe you know more
than they do.
                                                            
                       GREG
Sure. See you in...
      (looks at clock)
.. two hours.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Thanks, Greg. See you then.
                                                            
Greg snaps his phone shut.
                                                            
                       GREG
Day four. Science. Oof.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Dawn runs her hands through her hair. Greg enters and hands
Dawn the folder.
                                                            
                       DAWN
No problems?
                                                            

33.

                       GREG
Piece of cake.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Tomorrow's Friday. Someone will
probably call in.
                                                            
                       GREG
See you tomorrow, then. Dawn.
                                                            
Greg leaves.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
What was this?
      (runs her hands
       through her hair)
                                                            
                       DAWN
Nothing. Just ... nothing.
                                                            
The secretary smiles.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Next day. Greg is asleep in bed. The clock reads 6:40. The
phone rings. Greg answers it.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hello?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Hi, Greg. I'm really sorry to call
so late, but we had a late call
in. Could you by any chance make
it in? Please?
                                                            
                       GREG
All right. What do we have today?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Gym.
                                                            
                       GREG
Gym?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Happy Friday. Please?
                                                            
                       GREG
Sure, no problem. That class I
aced back in the day.
                                                            

34.

                       DAWN
Oh, thank you thank you. You saved
me big time on this one.
                                                            
                       GREG
OK. I need to get moving. Be there
in a bit.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Thanks, Greg. See you.
                                                            
Greg snaps his phone shut.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to self)
Gym? What am I getting into here?
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL GYM - DAY
                                                            
Greg stands in front of a group of male students. Troy and
A.J. are among the students. Greg is wearing workout
clothes, the boys dressed appropriately for gym. Mr. Delaney
can be heard over the PA.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY (on PA)
And finally, I'd like to offer an
amnesty to whoever has been
stealing the pencil sharpener
covers. If they are returned to
the front office by the end of the
school day Monday, no questions
will be asked. Thank you.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right guys, this is the last
hour of the day, and it's Friday.
Mr. Rodriguez has made this real
simple. Pick an activity - shoot
baskets, jog the perimeter, get in
the batting cage, play catch,
whatever. Just be doing something,
and I won't mark you down. You...
      (points at A.J.)
You know everyone in here?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good, you can help me with
attendance. Everyone else, let's
just make it through the next 45
minutes and get on with our
            (MORE)

35.

                       GREG (cont'd)
weekends.
                                                            
The boys spread out across the gym. Some start a pickup game
of basketball. A few start jogging. Troy heads to the
batting cage. Greg watches him take a few practice swings.
A.J. hands Greg the attendance sheet.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks. Hey, what's your name?
                                                            
                       A.J.
A.J. Martinez.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks, A.J. Go on now.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Hey, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah?
                                                            
                       A.J.
I saw you in the parking lot. I
like your car.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
Thanks. You've got good taste. Now
get busy.
                                                            
A.J. heads over to the batting cage and joins Troy.
                                                            
                       TROY
Now who's teacher's pet?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Shut up.
                                                            
A.J. picks up a ball and pitches it to Troy, who swings and
misses.
                                                            
                       TROY
Don't worry. I won't tell Carly.
                                                            
A.J. throws another pitch. Troy swings and misses.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Girl's got to chill out. After
graduation maybe.
                                                            

36.

                       TROY
Yeah, well, with her dad and all.
                                                            
                       A.J.
I know, but that's not Mr.
Fitzpatrick's fault, or any other
sub. Whatever.
      (throws another
       pitch to Troy)
Dude, you couldn't hit ground if
you fell out of a tree.
                                                            
                       TROY
Shut up.
                                                            
Greg is watching this exchange. After Troy misses another
pitch, Greg walks over to him.
                                                            
                       GREG
Your feet are positioned wrong.
Here, try this.
      (reaches down and
       takes Troy's leg
       at the calf and
       moves it back a
       few inches)
Pitch him another.
                                                            
A.J. pitches and Troy hits a hard line drive right back at
him.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Now that's more like it!
                                                            
                       TROY
Hey, thanks.
                                                            
                       GREG
You play?
                                                            
                       TROY
Yeah, varsity for three years. I'm
only hitting a buck eighty-two
this season.
                                                            
                       GREG
Keep your leg back. Don't try to
crush it, just swing through it.
                                                            
                       TROY
You coach?
                                                            

37.

                       GREG
Me?
      (laughs)
No. I never had time at my old
job. Played in college, though.
Right field.
                                                            
                       TROY
That's cool.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, well, keep at it.
                                                            
Greg walks away and watches the rest of the activities. A.J.
continues to pitch to Troy, who continues to line hits.
                                                            
                       TROY
Man, that's a lot better.
                                                            
                       A.J.
I won't tell Carly.
                                                            
Troy grimaces and lines another hit.

A bell rings.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right, gentlemen, bring it in.
Get the balls and equipment in and
get in the locker room.
                                                            
Greg watches as the boys put the gear away, then follows the
group into the locker room.

The bell rings again, and the locker room clears out.

Greg enters the small coach's office to retrieve his
briefcase and looks at the pencil sharpener. The cover is
missing.
                                                            
                       GREG
Son of a bitch.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks to Dawn's desk and hands her a folder.
                                                            
                       GREG
Made it a week.
                                                            

38.

                       DAWN
So you did, thank you, Mr.
Fitzpatrick. Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
So do I get a prize?
                                                            
                       DAWN
What did you have in mind?
                                                            
                       GREG
Dinner?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Why not?
                                                            
                       GREG
Great. Tonight?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ooh. You know what, I'm exhausted.
How about tomorrow?
                                                            
                       GREG
Sure. Pick you up at six?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Better meet you there. Six thirty?
                                                            
                       GREG
Sounds good. See you then, then.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Thanks again, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Later.
                                                            
Greg leaves. Dawn looks over at the other secretary, who is
watching her and grinning.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Mmm, hmm.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, be quiet. And don't tell
Carly.
                                                            
 
INT. KATHY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg enters the restaurant, spots Dawn at a table, and sits
down.
                                                            

39.

                       GREG
Hi.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Hello.
                                                            
                       GREG
Feeling not so tired?
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (laughs)
Yes. Being in to work by five
every day can wear you out.
                                                            
A WAITRESS approaches and hands Greg and Dawn menus.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
Hi, welcome to Kathy's. Can I get
you two something to drink?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Water for me.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, I'll have a beer.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
K, I'll be right back.
                                                            
The waitress walks away.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Living dangerously. Some kid spots
you drinking a beer, and it'll be
all over the place.
                                                            
                       GREG
So?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, you'd be amazed at some of the
things parents will grab on to.
Next thing you'll see banner
headlines "Black Creek Schools
Hires Drunk for Sub."
                                                            
                       GREG
Wow. People really do have too
much time on their hands, don't
they?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Just be careful.
                                                            

40.

Greg and Dawn study the menus a moment in silence. The
waitress arrives with their drinks.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
Ready to order?
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'll have the fettucine alfredo,
house dressing on the salad.
                                                            
                       GREG
Club sandwich with fries.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS
All right, that'll be right out.
                                                            
The waitress heads for the kitchen.
                                                            
                       DAWN
So. You survived your first week.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, I guess I did.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I expected you to run that first
day. You wouldn't believe some of
the people that try it and can't
hack it.
                                                            
                       GREG
It is tougher than you'd think,
but it's not so bad.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Kids can be tough.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (shrugs)
Just need to show them who's in
charge. A wise person told me
never let them smell fear.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (smiles)
And who was that?
                                                            
                       GREG
A member of the esteemed faculty
at Black Creek High. One who is
threatening to do very bad things
to whomever is stealing the pencil
sharpener covers.
                                                            

41.

                       DAWN
      (laughs)
Tell him to get in line behind Mr.
Delaney. What exactly led you to
substitute teaching?
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, I got laid off. I was in
marketing at Ford. The economy,
you know? Not a lot out there at
the moment, and I need to eat. And
pay the rent. Unemployment alone
just wasn't going to cut it. My
landlady has been understanding,
but I owe money there too.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Things are tough around here. Are
you from Black Creek?
                                                            
                       GREG
No. Detroit. Just living here.
Nice bedroom town.
                                                            
                       DAWN
And there's no Mrs. Fitzpatrick? I
hope?
                                                            
                       GREG
No. There was. I mean, there is,
she didn't die or anything. We're
divorced. Something about having
to find herself. I don't know.
That was about a year ago. So,
yeah. It's been a great year. Lost
my marriage. Lost my job.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Well, things can only get better,
right?
                                                            
The waitress brings their food and they begin to eat.
                                                            
                       DAWN
This is nice. As you can imagine,
I don't get out much.
                                                            
                       GREG
Unfortunately, if the financials
don't pick up, neither will I.
                                                            

42.

                       DAWN
Have you been looking at other
places for a job?
                                                            
                       GREG
I'd love to stay around here, but
I may have to look for a job out
of state. I don't know. What about
you? How long have you been with
the school?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Since college.
                                                            
                       GREG
You been alone all this time?
                                                            
Dawn hesitates.
                                                            
                       GREG
I'm sorry. I don't mean to pry or
seem nosy or eager here.
                                                            
                       DAWN
No, no. That's all right. I'm
divorced. I married my high school
sweetheart, and well..
                                                            
                       GREG
Sorry to hear that.
                                                            
                       DAWN
It happens. You should also know I
have a daughter.
                                                            
                       GREG
Uh oh.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Is that a problem?
                                                            
                       GREG
Oh, no, sorry. I think we've been
busted.
                                                            
Dawn follows Greg's gaze to where Vanessa is watching them
with three other girls.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ah. Stay cool.
                                                            

43.

                       GREG
It's not like we're breaking any
laws, right?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No, we're two adults. Just out
having a nice evening.
                                                            
                       GREG
Right. Why should we care what she
thinks?
                                                            
As Greg and Dawn watch, Vanessa is texting on her phone.
                                                            
                       GREG
Of course, I suppose now that
means half of Black Creek knows.
                                                            
                       DAWN
And the other half will know by
Monday morning. God bless small
town America.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, I'm not ashamed. Are you?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No.
                                                            
Vanessa and her friends get up and walk toward the exit,
passing Greg and Dawn.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Hi, Miss Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Vanessa.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
And Mr. Fitzpatrick. You probably
shouldn't be drinking that in
front of us. It could be a bad
influence.
                                                            
Vanessa's freinds giggle, then they all walk away. Greg and
Dawn look at each other a moment, then laugh.
                                                            
 
INT. TROY'S CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Troy is driving, Carly sits next to him, with A.J. in the
backseat.
                                                            

44.

                       TROY
Where you guys want to go? I don't
want to spend another Saturday
night just driving around with
nothing to do.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Let's go somewhere where A.J. can
meet some girls.
                                                            
                       A.J.
      (smiles)
Aw, Carly, you know I have eyes
only for one woman.
                                                            
                       CARLY
God, you're disgusting! Troy,
can't you hook him up with
someone?
                                                            
                       TROY
Me? You're the one who is supposed
to have a bunch of girlfriends.
                                                            
Carly's phone rings. She reads a text message.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh. My. God.
                                                            
                       TROY
What?
                                                            
                       CARLY
My mom.
                                                            
                       A.J.
What'd she say?
                                                            
                       CARLY
No, no. It's not from my mom. It's
about my mom. Vanessa spotted her
at Kathy's Restaurant. On a date.
With Mr. Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Good for her!
                                                            
                       TROY
Dude, I thought you had the hots
for her. Aren't you jealous?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Nah, so long as she's happy.
                                                            

45.

                       CARLY
Guys, guys. This is my mom. And
Mr. Fitzpatrick! The sub!
                                                            
                       TROY
So?
                                                            
                       A.J.
So?
                                                            
                       CARLY
She deserves better than a sub.
                                                            
                       TROY
So you gonna talk to her about it?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Just get us to Kathy's, OK?
                                                            
 
EXT. KATHY'S RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg and Dawn exit Kathy's and walk holding hands down the
sidewalk in quaint downtown Black Creek.
                                                            
                       DAWN
This is nice. I haven't been out
in a while. Thank you.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah. Good food, good company...
                                                            
Carly steps out from around the corner. Troy and A.J. keep
their distance.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly! What are you doing here?
                                                            
                       CARLY
I should ask you the same
question, mom.
                                                            
                       GREG
Mom?
                                                            
                       CARLY
God, you are dense. You didn't
even tell him, mom?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly! Greg, I'm so sorry...
                                                            

46.

                       GREG
Miller ... Brooks ... Sorry,
didn't make the connection.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I don't believe this is happening.
                                                            
                       GREG
It's all right. Look, it's been a
good evening. It looks like you
two need to talk. I'll talk to you
later?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah. I'm sorry, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Don't worry about it.
                                                            
Greg leans over and kisses Dawn on the cheek. Carly rolls
her eyes and grunts in disgust.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good night, Dawn. Carly.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Good night.
                                                            
Greg exits.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly, what the hell was that all
about?
                                                            
                       CARLY
C'mon, mom. A sub?
                                                            
                       GREG
He's not a sub by choice. He was
laid off from his job and is just
doing this while he looks for
something permanent.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Right.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Young lady, you have no right to
judge people like this. I can -
and will - date who I wish. Come
on. Let's go.
      (to Troy and A.J.)
Guys, I'll take her home.
                                                            

47.

                       TROY
All right.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Good night, Miss Miller.
                                                            
Troy and A.J. exit. Carly walks with Dawn toward their car.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I can't believe you sometimes. I
have a right to a life too, you
know.
                                                            
                       CARLY
But with him?
                                                            
                       DAWN
You don't even know him.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Do you? You just met him, what, a
week ago?
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (sighs)
Carly, it's just really hard.
Look, it's not like we're getting
married or anything. We just went
out to dinner. We had a nice time.
Is that too much to ask?
                                                            
                       CARLY
I just think you can do better,
that's all.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (sighs)
Come on. Let's go home.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg is sound asleep. The alarm clock reads 5:45. His cell
phone on the nightstand rings and he reaches to answer.
                                                            
                       GREG
Mmm. Lemme guess.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Good morning, sunshine.
                                                            
                       GREG
Mmm.
                                                            

48.

                       DAWN (on phone)
Mrs. Kinney called in again. She's
about to retire, so she's using
all her remaining sick days so she
doesn't have to work any more
Mondays. Can you do it?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, sure.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Thanks. And Greg?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
I had a good time Saturday night.
I needed to get out like that. I'm
sorry it ended the way it did.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah. I get the idea there's more
to the story here. With Carly, I
mean.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Carly's dad used to be a teacher
here. He had an affair with a sub.
They live in Florida now. And now
Carly has a vendetta against all
subs.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, she's going to have to get
over that.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
I hope so.
                                                            
                       GREG
OK. We'll talk later. See you
soon.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
See ya.
                                                            
Greg snaps his phone shut and swings his legs out of bed and
rubs his head.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to the cat)
Should be an interesting day.
                                                            
 

49.

INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Dawn is at her desk shuffling paperwork. A clock on the wall
reads 7:00. Carly walks in and grabs some candy.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Hey mom. How's it going?
                                                            
                       DAWN
You're here early. You shouldn't
eat so much candy. Bad for your
teeth. Your father and I spent to
much on braces for you to rot them
out.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Sorry. Busy day?
                                                            
                       GREG
Mrs. Kinney's out again.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Must be Monday. Who'd you get?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Mr. Fitzpatrick. You don't need to
talk to him. Just try to act
civilized.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah, yeah. Got any more candy in
there?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah, down here...
                                                            
Dawn leans down to open her bottom desk drawer and retrieve
a bag of candy. While Dawn is distracted, Carly opens the
folder on Dawn's desk labeled "Mrs. Kinney" and removes the
top paper, quickly stuffing it in her pocket.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (filling candy
       bowl)
There you go.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Thanks, mom, gotta go. Love ya!
                                                            
                       DAWN
Love you too, honey.
                                                            
 

50.

INT. MRS. KINNEY'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg arrives at the door outside the classroom where a group
of students are already waiting, including Carly, Troy and
A.J. Greg unlocks and opens the door. He steps aside to let
the students enter.
                                                            
                       TROY
Hey, Mr. Fitzpatrick. I got three
hits in the first game and four in
the second on Saturday.
                                                            
Carly stares at Troy.
                                                            
                       GREG
Nice. Keep it up.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah, but he made, how many errors
was it, Troy?
                                                            
                       TROY
Three, all right? Three.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Needs a little help with the glove
now, ya know?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
All right, have a seat.
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (punches Troy in
       the shoulder)
What was that?
                                                            
                       TROY
What? He helped me make an
adjustment in my batting stance in
gym class Friday. It worked.
                                                            
                       CARLY
God, you guys are hopeless.
                                                            
The bell rings. Greg stands at the desk, flips through the
sub folder, and frowns.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Something wrong, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            

51.

                       GREG
Hmm? No. Not at all. Just looks
like a small break from the
routine for you today. Instead of
what you were working on, Mrs.
Kinney says you all need some
review time to get ready for your
final exam. So here's what we're
going to do. Divide up by rows
into teams. I'm going to flip back
through the book and put a problem
on the board. You all have to
write it down and do it, but the
row with the first person to
finish it gets 15 points, second
one done 10, and third 5. Everyone
on the team with the highest score
at the end of the hour gets 10
extra credit points. But you can't
just sit there and rely on the
fastest kid. Everyone turns their
paper in for credit at the end of
the hour.
                                                            
STUDENT 2 raises her hand.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes?
                                                            
                       STUDENT 2
What do we do with the homework
that was due today?
                                                            
                       GREG
Hold on to it. Mrs. Kinney says
she will collect it tomorrow.
A.J.?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah?
                                                            
                       GREG
Hate to ask again, but could you
check the attendance for me while
I get the first problem on the
board?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah, OK.
                                                            
Greg hands A.J. the slip of paper. Greg takes a book to the
board and begins writing on it, while A.J. surveys the room
and makes a note on the paper.
                                                            

52.

                       CARLY
Crap.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters and walks to Dawn's desk. He hands her the sub
folder.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Hey. How'd it go?
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, Mrs. Kinney didn't leave a
lesson plan in there.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Really? That's not like her. What
did you do?
                                                            
                       GREG
What I always do. I winged it. I
survived. I left her a note.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'm really sorry about that.
                                                            
                       GREG
Not your fault.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly.
                                                            
                       GREG
What?
                                                            
                       DAWN
I wouldn't put it past her. She
could have taken the lesson plan
somehow.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, if she did, that didn't work
out for her so well. Call you
later?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah, sure.
                                                            
Greg exits.
                                                            
 

53.

EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches his car and pulls a flyer from under the
wiper. It reads "Second rate car - second rate teacher."
Greg looks around, smiles, crumples the paper and pockets
it. He gets in his car and drives off.

Carly watches from the sidewalk and smiles.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Greg pulls into his driveway. There is a work truck parked
there. Two men are speaking with Mrs. Moore on the porch.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hi, Mrs. Moore.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, hello, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Getting some work done?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, just getting some painting
done. Try to spiffy the place up
a bit.
                                                            
                       GREG
Anything I can do? Help offset the
rent a bit?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, no, no, dear. I know you're
busy. Any luck on finding a job
yet?
                                                            
                       GREG
Not yet, Mrs. Moore. Hopefully
soon. I'll talk to you later.
                                                            
Greg walks up the stairs toward his apartment.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Greg turns on his computer and taps a few keys. He studies
the screen, then sighs. He pats his cat on the head.
                                                            
                       GREG
Nuthin' today either, Barfy.
                                                            
 

54.

INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters and takes the folder from Dawn.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Happy Tuesday.
                                                            
Greg smiles and exits.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks down the crowded hallway. Taped to his back is a
paper reading "I (heart) Miss Miller."

A bell rings, and the hall clears. Greg stands outside a
classroom door. A banner sign on the wall reads "Prom
Tickets - On Sale Through Thursday." A.J. enters, running.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hey, hey, slow down.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Oh, man, I'm late for Mrs.
Kinney's class.
                                                            
                       GREG
Slow up, I'll give you a pass.
Tell her you were helping me find
my room.
                                                            
Greg enters the room, leaving A.J. in the hall watching.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You don't have a class first hour?
                                                            
                       GREG
Not today, apparently.
                                                            
Greg returns in a moment and hands A.J. a slip of paper.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Hey, thanks. What'd you do that
for?
                                                            
                       GREG
You helped me out a couple times,
I help you. It's how the world
works.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Right. Um, Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            

55.

                       GREG
Yeah.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Turn around.
                                                            
Greg turns around. A.J. removes the sign from Greg's back
and hands it to him.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah. Gotta go.
                                                            
A.J. exits down the hall. Greg crumples the paper and throws
it in a trash can.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Next day. Greg enters, walks to Dawn's desk and takes the
folder she hands him.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Hump day.
                                                            
                       GREG
Halfway through another week.
                                                            
Greg exits.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks through a crowded hallway. A group of students is
gathered looking at something on the wall. Greg works his
way through to see a poster with a crudely drawn man
drinking out of a bottle, with "Mr. Fitzpatrick" written
under it. Greg tears it down.
                                                            
                       GREG
Very funny. Get moving, everybody.
                                                            
Greg throws the paper in a trash can. To the side, Carly
smiles. Greg spots her. She turns quickly and walks away.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg enters, walks to Dawn's desk and takes the folder she
hands him.
                                                            

56.

                       GREG
I didn't even know librarians got
subs.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Should be an easy day for you.
                                                            
                       GREG
I could use one.
                                                            
Greg exits.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL LIBRARY - DAY
                                                            
Greg stands at the desk with the LIBRARIAN. Small groups of
students are scattered at tables throughout the library.
                                                            
                       LIBRARIAN
The biggest thing going on right
now is the final government
project for seniors. They're
supposed to choose a public
employee, elected or otherwise,
research their job and interview
the person. It can be a school
board member, a fireman, whatever.
Basically just wander around and
help out however you can.
                                                            
                       GREG
Sounds easy enough.
                                                            
                       LIBRARIAN
And Mr. Fitzpatrick?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah?
                                                            
                       GREG
We have yet to lose our pencil
sharpener cover. I intend to keep
it that way.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yes, ma'am.
                                                            
After a short time, A.J. enters the library and sits at a
computer station. Greg walks over to him.
                                                            

57.

                       GREG
What are you doing here? I thought
you were in Mrs. Kinney first
hour?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah, but I had my math done and
she let me come here to work on my
government project.
                                                            
                       GREG
And how's that going?
                                                            
                       A.J.
It's not.
                                                            
                       GREG
Do you have anyone picked out to
interview?
                                                            
                       A.J.
No. You got any ideas?
                                                            
                       GREG
As a matter of fact, it so happens
I know Senator Williamson.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You know a state senator?
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, that's a good start, you at
least know who he is.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah. How do you know him?
                                                            
                       GREG
Believe it or not, we were on the
same baseball team in college.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Seriously?
                                                            
                       GREG
Seriously. Tell you what, you
start doing some background
research on him, come up with some
questions you'd like to ask him,
and I'll set up an appointment for
you to call him.
                                                            

58.

                       A.J.
For real?
                                                            
                       GREG
For real. It's about time the
senator reach out to some of his
constituents.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Thanks, Mr. Fitzgerald.
                                                            
                       GREG
No problem. Now get to work.
                                                            
Greg leaves A.J. to work on the computer. He takes a few
tours of the library. He grabs a few books to reshelf.
Finally, the bell rings.
                                                            
Greg sits on a stool behind the checkout counter and watches
the students exit the library. When it has cleared out, the
librarian walks up behind him, scowling.
                                                            
                       LIBRARIAN
Mr. Fitzgerald?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah?
                                                            
The librarian points at the pencil sharpener, which is
missing its cover.
                                                            
                       GREG
Son of a ...
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches Dawn's desk and hands her his folder.
                                                            
                       GREG
I wouldn't have thought being a
librarian would be so hard.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Awww.
                                                            
                       GREG
Got anything for tomorrow?
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'll call you.
                                                            

59.

                       GREG
I can't wait.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Get out of here.
                                                            
Greg smiles and leaves.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches his car and dials a number on his cell
phone.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hello, yeah, is the senator in by
chance?
      (pause)
Tell him Greg Fitzpatrick is on
the line.
      (pause)
Thank you.
                                                            
Still on his cell phone, Greg gets in his car and drives
off.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Next day. Greg enters, walks to Dawn's desk and takes the
folder she hands him.
                                                            
                       DAWN
TGIF
                                                            
                       GREG
TGIF. You got plans tonight?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Just the usual. Try to recover
from another week.
                                                            
                       GREG
Think you can stay awake long
enough for a movie?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Mmm, better make it tomorrow
night. I promised Carly we would
do something tonight. Some
mother-daughter time.
                                                            

60.

                       GREG
Cool. Pick you up at six thirty?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Um, I'd better meet you there
again.
                                                            
                       GREG
Sneaking around isn't really
necessary. They might as well put
us on the six o'clock news.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I know. Still.
                                                            
                       GREG
All right. Circle Theater. Six
thirty.
                                                            
                       DAWN
It's a date.
                                                            
Greg smiles and exits. Dawn looks at the other secretary,
who smiles.
                                                            
                       DAWN
No comments from the peanut
gallery.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
I'm not saying anything.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Good. And don't tell Carly.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Does he know about her?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah. They've met.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
I hope you know what you're doing.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Me too.
                                                            
 
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg stands in the front of a classroom watching students
file in. On the board is written "Freshman English. Mr.
Fitzpatrick."

61.


The bell rings. Greg walks over and closes the door. On the
back of the door is a poster with picture of a scantily clad
male with Greg's face edited on.

The class erupts in laughter as Greg takes down the poster
and throws it in the trash.
                                                            
 
INT. DAWN'S HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Dawn sits at the table reading a paper. Carly enters.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Hey, mom. That was fun last night.
Is it all right if I spend the
night at Vanessa's tonight?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Sure, honey.
                                                            
                       CARLY
What are you gonna do tonight?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Probably not much. Just hang out
around here.
                                                            
                       CARLY
That's cool.
                                                            
Carly opens the refrigerator.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Do we have anything to eat?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Have some of the pizza from last
night.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Tasty.
      (kisses Dawn)
Thanks, mom. See you later. I love
you.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Love you too. Be good tonight!
                                                            
                       CARLY
Of course!
                                                            

62.

Carly heads out the front door. Dawn pauses a moment, then
gets up and heads toward her bedroom.
                                                            
 
INT. VANESSA'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Vanessa is driving, Carly in the passenger seat.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
So what did your mom do last
night? She didn't go out with Mr.
Fitzpatrick again, did she?
                                                            
                       CARLY
I don't think so. I think she was
just going to hang out around the
house.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Sorry I've got to drop you off so
early. You know my parents. Can't
miss church. You should go with
us.
                                                            
                       CARLY
That's OK. I know I should.

So, hey, Vanessa, what do you
think of A.J.?
                                                            
                       VANESSA
He's cute, I guess. I don't talk
to him much.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Would you go to prom with him if
he asked you?
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Yeah, I suppose I would. I wasn't
really planning on going. Where
would I get a dress?
                                                            
                       CARLY
We'll find something, don't worry.
I'll talk to A.J. This is going to
be fun!
                                                            
They approach Dawn's house. Greg's car is in the driveway.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh. My. God. No way. Please tell
me this is not happening.
                                                            

63.

                       VANESSA
Whose car is that?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Mr. Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Holy shit. Mr. Fitzpatrick spent
the night with your mom?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Just keep driving. I think I
better go to church with you guys
after all.

And you better pray for Mr.
Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
Vanessa continues to drive.
                                                            
 
INT. DAWN'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg and Dawn lie in bed.
                                                            
                       GREG
That was some movie.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Greg, I don't want you to get the
wrong idea.
                                                            
                       GREG
Not at all. But I probably should
be going before your daughter gets
home.
                                                            
                       DAWN
That would be an excellent idea. I
feel like a teenager sneaking
around her parents.
                                                            
                       GREG
Living dangerously.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'll call you later.
                                                            
                       GREG
You better.
                                                            
They kiss, and Greg gets out and begins to get dressed.
                                                            
 

64.

EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Greg approaches his car, which has been spray painted with
"Your a loser!" Greg looks around the parking lot, then
opens his cell phone and dials.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hi, Dawn. It's me. Can you meet me
in the parking lot, I've got
something you should see.
      (pause)
All right. Thanks.
                                                            
Greg surveys the damage to his car. Dawn enters.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, Greg. I'm so sorry.
                                                            
                       GREG
I don't know what upsets me more,
the damage to the car, or the fact
whoever did it doesn't know which
"you're" to use.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (laughs)
Are you going to report it?
                                                            
                       GREG
Not really much sense too.
Insurance is pretty basic on this,
and it's not like it didn't need a
paint job anyway. I know the old
girl needs a lot of work. It just
hasn't been in the budget, you
know? Still, I'd like to know who
did it. Maybe the security cameras
caughts something.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I'm really sorry.
                                                            
                       GREG
I know. Look, I gotta go. But keep
your ears open on this, OK? This
is starting to get old.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I will.
                                                            
Greg gives Dawn a quick kiss, then gets in his car and
drives off. Dawn watches a moment, then heads back inside
the school.
                                                            
 

65.

INT. TROY'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Troy, Carly and A.J. drive past Greg's car in the school
parking lot. Greg gives them a quick wave and gets in the
car.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Holy shit, what happened to his
car?
                                                            
                       CARLY
He had it coming.
                                                            
                       TROY
Did you do that? Shit, Carly!
                                                            
                       CARLY
Dude, he spent the night with my
mom. My mom!
                                                            
                       TROY
So what? Don't you want your mom
to be happy?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Of course I do. But with him?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Carly, he's not that bad a guy. He
gave me a bunch of stuff to use
for my government report.
                                                            
                       TROY
And he helped me with baseball.
And he's been a pretty decent
teacher.
                                                            
                       CARLY
You guys just don't get it. My mom
deserves better! I'll just get a
ride home from her.
                                                            
Carly gets out of the car and slams the door.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Chicks.
                                                            
                       TROY
You said it, man. Let me get you
home, then I've got to get to
practice.
                                                            
Troy drives off as Carly enters the school.
                                                            
 

66.

EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Walking while shaking a can of spray paint, Greg glances at
a pickup truck filled with household belongings parked in
the driveway. Turning his attention to his car, he sprays
paint over the graffiti on his Mustang in a color that
closely approximates the original.

He looks up as Dawn's car pulls in. She gets out of the car.
                                                            
                       DAWN
You can put makeup on a pig...
                                                            
                       GREG
That's not nice. You'll hurt her
feelings.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, it's a she? And she has
feelings?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Of course. All cars are shes. They
have a lot in common with women.
They're stubborn, cantankerous...
                                                            
                       DAWN
And yet men can't resist them.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (smiles)
We're cursed that way, I suppose.
What brings you by?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Security found some empty spray
cans in the Dumpster.
                                                            
                       GREG
I don't suppose the person left
their name?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No, they didn't. But kids that do
things like this tend not to be
the sharpest knives in the drawer.
Someone knows something. And there
are no secrets in a school
building.
                                                            
                       GREG
Does that include us?
                                                            

67.

                       DAWN
And what exactly do you mean by
"us," Mr. Fitzgerald?
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, Miss Miller, I believe the
tachometer indicates it's time to
shift into second gear.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh. And what impact will that have
on the speed?
                                                            
                       GREG
Things will definitely move
faster.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I think I like the sound of that.
                                                            
Greg puts his arm around Dawn.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Greg, I hate to say this, but I
can't help but wonder if Carly had
anything to do with this. I mean,
I know she's not your biggest fan.
But I do have a hard time
believing she would do anything
like this. She's never been the
destructive sort.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hard to say what some people will
do when they get worked up enough.
                                                            
Dawn's cell phone rings.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly texted me. She needs a ride.
Sorry.
                                                            
                       GREG
It's OK. Go.
                                                            
Dawn heads back to her car.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Oh, I almost forgot. I'll save us
a phone call in the morning. Can
you come in tomorrow for Mr.
Anderson? English?
                                                            

68.

                       GREG
I'll be there.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (smiles)
Great. I'll see you tomorrow then.
                                                            
Greg waves as Dawn drives off.
                                                            
 
INT. TEACHER BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Greg sits down for lunch with the same group of teachers.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
I heard about your car.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
Cretins.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, I'm not exactly thrilled
about it. Someone, or someones,
has had it in for me.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 3
It sorta just goes with the
territory. Maybe it's got
something to do with dating one of
the secretaries?
                                                            
The others chuckle.
                                                            
                       GREG
Ah. You know about that.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 2
There are no secrets in a school
building, Mr. Fitzgerald.
                                                            
                       GREG
You know, so I've heard from very
informed source.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on PA)
Excuse me, is Mr. Fitzpatrick in
there?
                                                            
                       GREG
      (loudly)
Yeah, I'm here.
                                                            

69.

                       DAWN
I'm sorry, Greg. But can you
report back to your room?
                                                            
                       GREG
Sure. What's up?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on PA)
Um, Mr. Delaney needs to speak to
you. Thanks.
                                                            
                       TEACHER 1
Uh, oh. What did you do, Greg?
                                                            
                       GREG
I've no idea.
                                                            
Greg exits.
                                                            
 
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Delaney and a SECURITY GUARD are waiting for Greg in the
classroom.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Mr. Fitzpatrick, is this your
briefcase?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, what's going on?
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
We got an anonymous tip from
student who said they heard you
making a deal to purchase alchol
for another student.
                                                            
                       GREG
That's absurd.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Then can you explain this?
      (pulls a liquor
       bottle from the
       briefcase)
                                                            
                       GREG
I don't know what to say, other
than that's not mine.
                                                            

70.

                       MR. DELANEY
I'm sorry, Greg. You've been a
good sub. But we need to look into
this. You understand?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, of course, but...
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
You'll be escorted out
immediately. I'll be in touch.
                                                            
Greg collects his things and exits with the security guard.
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Greg is walking next to security guard. The hallway is
otherwise empty.
                                                            
                       GREG
Talk about deja vu all over again.
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       GREG
Nothing.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
The security guard escorts Greg to the parking lot. He looks
around.
                                                            
                       GREG
My car. I parked right there. It's
gone.
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
Are you sure?
                                                            
                       GREG
Of course I'm sure.
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
      (reaches for his
       phone)
Is there anyone you can call? I'll
get the police.
                                                            
While the security guard places his call, Greg also makes a
call.
                                                            

71.

                       GREG
Hi, Dawn.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Greg, is it true? What did they
say?
                                                            
                       GREG
There's something up with that. I
don't know what it is just yet.
That bottle definitely isn't mine.
But right now I've got another
problem. My car has apparently
been stolen. Is there any chance
you can give me a lift?
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (on phone with
       Greg)
Yes, absolutely. I'll be right
out.
                                                            
Dawn snaps shut her cell phone and begins gathering her coat
and purse.
                                                            
                       DAWN
      (to other
       secretary)
It's Greg. His car's been stolen.
Can you cover for me for the
afternoon?
                                                            
Dawn gathers her things and gets ready to leave.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
You don't think Carly...
                                                            
                       DAWN
I don't know what to think
anymore. Carly is a lot of things,
but a car thief? Will you talk to
Mr. Delaney to see who is going to
cover for Greg the rest of the
day? He may have to do it himself.
                                                            
                       SECRETARY 1
Oh, that will be interesting.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Gotta go. Thanks.
                                                            

72.

                       SECRETARY 1
Good luck.
                                                            
Dawn quickly exits the office.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Dawn approaches Greg, a POLICE OFFICER and the security
guard.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Greg, are you all right?
                                                            
                       GREG
I'm fine. Other than the fact I'm
apparently being set up, and my
car has apparently been stolen.
You don't think Carly could...
                                                            
                       DAWN
I know she doesn't like you, but
she's not a car thief.
                                                            
                       GREG
You have to admit, this is quite a
coincidence.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Greg!
                                                            
                       POLICE OFFICER
Excuse me, who is Carly?
                                                            
                       DAWN
My daughter. And she's not a
thief.
                                                            
                       POLICE OFFICER
And where is Carly right now?
                                                            
                       DAWN
She should be in class. Inside, I
mean.
                                                            
                       POLICE OFFICER
I'd like to talk to her, if that's
all right.
      (to security guard)
You stay out here with him. I'll
go in with her and talk to her
daughter.
                                                            

73.

The police officer and Dawn walk back toward the school,
leaving Greg and the security guard standing in the parking
lot.
                                                            
                       GREG
Man, what a day.
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
You didn't do it, did you?
                                                            
                       GREG
Do what?
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
Bring that bottle in to school.
                                                            
                       GREG
I did not. How do you know?
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
It's not the first time I've seen
a kid try to set up a teacher.
They can be devious little
bastards sometimes, but one of
them always talks. Just wait a few
days. Someone will brag about
getting rid of you. It's just the
way they are.
                                                            
                       GREG
I keep hearing that. But whoever
spraypainted my car the other day,
no one has confessed to that, have
they?
                                                            
                       CORPORATE SECURITY GUARD
No, no they haven't. But like I
said, somebody knows something.
And kids can't keep their mouths
shut.
                                                            
                       GREG
Except for they pencil sharpener
bandit.
                                                            
                       SCHOOL SECURITY GUARD
Well, now, that's not all that
different. Trust me. Someone will
screw up. They always do.
                                                            
Dawn and the police officer return.
                                                            

74.

                       GREG
Any luck?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No. Carly says she doesn't know
anything about the car or the
bottle. And I did a quick check
with all her teachers. She hasn't
been out of a room all day.I have
to believe her, Greg. I think
maybe you should find another way
home.
                                                            
                       GREG
Oh. OK. Officer, can I get a lift?
                                                            
                       POLICE OFFICER
Sure. In the meantime, we'll keep
looking, Mr. Fitzgerald. It's not
like a '65 Mustang just blends
into traffic.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thank you, officer.
                                                            
Greg gets in the car with the police officer, and Dawn turns
back to the school.
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
As the officer and Greg pull into Greg's driveway, they
notice a "FOR SALE" sign in front of the house.
                                                            
                       GREG
Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
                                                            
Greg gets out of the cars and walks up the porch as the
officer drives away. Greg knocks on the door, and Mrs. Moore
answers.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Oh, Greg, you're home early.
Where's your car?
                                                            
                       GREG
That's a long story. What's up
with the for sale sign?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
I had hoped to be able to tell you
at a better time, what with your
job situation and all.
                                                            

75.

                       GREG
But you're selling the house? That
explains all the work you've done.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
I'm sorry, dear. It will be up to
the buyer whether or not to keep
the rental.
                                                            
                       GREG
But don't count on it.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
No. I guess I wouldn't.
                                                            
                       GREG
Where are you going?
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Florida. My kids are grown and
moved away, and since Henry has
been gone, well, there really
isn't anything keeping me here.
                                                            
                       GREG
Last one out, turn out the lights.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Maybe it's time for you to think
about a move too, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Could be. I thought things were
starting to get back on track, but
they sure derailed in a hurry.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
Problems with your new girlfriend?
                                                            
                       GREG
You might say that.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
You'll be fine, Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
People keep telling me that.
                                                            
                       MRS. MOORE
You will, dear. I'll let you know
as soon as I hear anything about
the house.
                                                            

76.

                       GREG
Yeah, thanks.
                                                            
Greg turns and walks up the stairs toward his apartment.
Mrs. Moore watches a moment, then turns and closes the door.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Greg walks in and slumps down in the chair at his computer.
His cat jumps on his lap.
                                                            
                       GREG
Another great day, Barfy. Lose
job. Lose girl. And this time add
lose car. Time to move on, I
suppose.
                                                            
Greg starts perusing his computer screen.
                                                            
                       GREG
Florida? California? Texas? Where
do you wanna go?
                                                            
 
INT. DAWN'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Carly, Troy, A.J. and Vanessa are dressed for prom. Dawn has
a camera in hand.
                                                            
                       DAWN
OK, Troy and A.J., stand next to
the girls and pretend you all like
each other.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Mom.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Just a few more, Carly, and you
can be on your way.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You should be in these photos too,
Miss Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
That's very sweet, A.J., but it's
not my prom.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You could still come along with
us.
                                                            

77.

                       CARLY
Shut up, A.J.
                                                            
Dawn continues to take pictures.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Wait, now let me get the video
camera.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Come on, mom. Give us a break.
                                                            
                       DAWN
OK, OK. Just when my grandchildren
ask some day how their mother
looked at her prom, what will I
tell them?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh my god. Fine.
                                                            
Dawn retrieves a video camera and begins filming.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Now you kids be good tonight. No
drinking.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah, we wouldn't want to pull a
Mr. Fitzgerald.
                                                            
Troy, A.J. and Vanessa pause and look at Carly.
                                                            
                       CARLY
What?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Is there something I need to know
here?
                                                            
                       CARLY
No, I already told you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Carly...
                                                            
                       DAWN
Troy?
                                                            
                       A.J.
I did it.
                                                            
Everyone looks at A.J.
                                                            

78.

                       CARLY
A.J.!
                                                            
                       DAWN
You did what, A.J.?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Put that bottle in Mr.
Fitzgerald's bag.
                                                            
                       DAWN
A.J., why?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Somebody stuck that bottle in my
locker and I needed to get rid of
it. His door was unlocked, and,
well...
                                                            
Dawn sighs.
                                                            
                       DAWN
You've put me in a real
predicament here, A.J.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You going to turn me in?
                                                            
                       DAWN
I have to A.J.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
What about prom? What about
graduation?
                                                            
                       DAWN
All right. I can say you told me
after prom. But graduation will be
up to Mr. Delaney. I doubt that
news will be good. And what about
Mr. Fitzgerald's car? I don't
suppose you know anything about
that, do you?
                                                            
                       A.J.
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       DAWN
What do you mean what do I mean?
Like who did it?
                                                            

79.

                       A.J.
I can't help you with that, Miss
Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Does that mean you know and just
aren't going to help me? Or you
don't know? Any of you?
                                                            
Silence from the four teens.
                                                            
                       A.J.
I'm sorry, Miss Miller.
                                                            
                       DAWN
I am too. Now get out of here
before I change my mind.
                                                            
Carly, Troy, A.J. and Vanessa all leave. Dawn watches as
they get into a waiting limousine.
                                                            
 
INT. LIMOUSINE - DAY
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (to A.j.)
What the hell did you do that for?
                                                            
                       A.J.
I didn't want you to get in
trouble.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I wasn't going to get in trouble.
So long as you and Troy keep your
mouths shut
                                                            
                       A.J.
Hey, I could have told her about
your Pablo Picasso act on Mr.
Fitzgerald's car.
                                                            
                       TROY
Carly, you've taken this too far.
You know I love you, but come on,
this has to stop.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Why does everyone keep taking his
side?
                                                            

80.

                       TROY
Carly, it's not about sides. It's
about people who just want to be
happy.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
Come on, you guys. Can we just try
to have fun tonight and worry
about what happens tomorrow
tomorrow?
                                                            
                       TROY
Carly?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah.But for the record, I did not
steal Mr. Fitzgerald's piece of
crap car. That, I had nothing to
do with.
                                                            
                       TROY
All right.
      (to A.J.)
A.J., man, I sure hope you know
what you're doing.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Don't worry about me. I've got a
plan.
                                                            
                       TROY
Yeah, so did Bush in Iraq.
                                                            
                       VANESSA
OK. It's settled. Let's have some
fun!
                                                            
 
EXT. GREG'S APARTMENT BUILDING - NIGHT
                                                            
Dawn knocks on the door. Greg answers.
                                                            
                       GREG
Hello. I wasn't expecting you.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Can I come in?
                                                            
                       GREG
Absolutely.
                                                            
Dawn enters...
                                                            
 

81.

INT. GREG'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
                       GREG
Can I get you anything?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah, I could really use a drink.
No little spies here, right?
                                                            
Dawn takes a seat on the couch next to the cat.
                                                            
                       GREG
You can trust Barfy. He won't
talk.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Why is his name Barfy, anyway?
                                                            
                       GREG
Uh, it's pretty self explanatory,
really.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Ah.
                                                            
Greg joins Dawn on the couch with two drinks.
                                                            
                       GREG
So, get the kids off to prom all
right?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Yeah, that's actually why I'm
here. One of them squealed.
                                                            
                       GREG
What do you mean? You know who
stole my car?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No, nobody will fess up to knowing
anything about that. Yet. But A.J.
admitted to putting that liquor
bottle in your bag.
                                                            
                       GREG
A.J.? What the hell? Why would he
do that?
                                                            
                       DAWN
He says someone put it in his
locker and he was just trying to
get rid of it.
                                                            

82.

                       GREG
You believe him?
                                                            
                       DAWN
No, not really. But he says he did
it, so as far as I'm concerned, he
did it. I'm relieved it wasn't
Carly.
                                                            
                       GREG
So am I. You forgive me for
thinking it was her?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Mmmm, I guess so.
                                                            
Dawn leans over and gives him a kiss.
                                                            
                       GREG
That's a relief. So, are you going
to turn him in? Isn't it his word
against yours?
                                                            
                       DAWN
I have to turn him in. And I have
the whole thing on camcorder.
                                                            
                       GREG
Well, that takes care of that.
                                                            
                       DAWN
You'll be able to come back to
work.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, but there's only a week
left. Then I've got no job, and
soon no place to live.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Something will work out, Greg. It
always does.
                                                            
                       GREG
I sure hope so.
                                                            
                       DAWN
OK. In the meantime, it's prom
night. No reason we can't have a
good time, too.
                                                            
                       GREG
I like the sound of that.
                                                            

83.

Greg and Dawn kiss...
                                                            
 
INT. SCHOOL OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Greg and Dawn enter the office toigether. Waiting at her
desk is Mr. Delaney.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to Dawn)
Thanks again for the lift.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Don't mention it.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to Mr. Delaney)
Morning, Mr. Delaney.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Ah, Greg. Good to see you! Say,
I'm really sorry about that whole
thing. But you understand we had
to do what we did?
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, of course.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Good, good. I just hate it though
when kids screw up this close to
graduation.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, well, they gotta learn.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
Yes, they do. Well, I'll leave you
two to your business. Take care,
Greg.
                                                            
                       GREG
Thanks.
      (to Dawn)
So, Mrs.Kinney today?
                                                            
                       DAWN
It's Monday, isn't it?
                                                            
                       GREG
Right. I'll see you later.
                                                            
Greg exits the office to the hallway.
                                                            
 

84.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Greg passes Troy, Carly and Vanessa in the hallway.
                                                            
                       GREG
Troy. Ladies.
                                                            
Greg keeps walking.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Shit. A.J. gets suspended and he
gets to come back.
                                                            
                       TROY
You want to try to fix this,
Carly?
                                                            
                       CARLY
What are you saying?
                                                            
                       TROY
Come on, Carly. I know A.J. didn't
plant that bottle.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Well, I guess he shouldn't have
said he did then, should he?
                                                            
Carly walks off. Troy and Vanessa look at each other, then
follow Carly.
                                                            
 
INT. TROY'S CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
                       CARLY
Man, what a week. I'm glad finals
are done. Thanks for the ride
home. My mom is busy getting
graduation stuff together, I
guess.
                                                            
                       TROY
No problem.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I can't believe there's only one
day of school left.
                                                            
                       TROY
And I can't believe A.J. is going
to miss graduation.
                                                            
Troy's cell phone rings.
                                                            

85.

                       TROY
Speak of the devil. A.J. texted us
and wants us to come over. ASAP.
                                                            
                       CARLY
All right, then. Let's go.
                                                            
                       TROY
I thought you had to get home?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Eh. Mom's busy. She won't mind.
                                                            
                       TROY
Another date?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Shut up.
                                                            
                       TROY
All right.Let's go.
                                                            
 
INT. A.J.'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Troy and Carly enter to find A.J. and Vanessa sitting in the
middle of his floor, surrounded by pencil sharpener covers.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh. My. God.
                                                            
                       TROY
Holy shit, dude. That was you?
      (to Vanessa)
Were you in on this all along?
                                                            
                       VANESSA
No, I just found out tonight, too.
                                                            
                       CARLY
What are you going to do with all
these?
                                                            
                       A.J.
This, my friends, shall be the
senior class prank.
                                                            
                       TROY
How?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Oh, this has been driving them
nuts for months. Some of them
actually think someone has been
            (MORE)

86.

                       A.J. (cont'd)
selling it off as scrap to get
money for drugs, or something.
When it's just been a harmless
little prank. I have every pencil
sharpener in the school here, each
labelled withthe room it came out
of. Tomorrow morning the teachers
will arrive to find them strung on
a rope across the main entry. Then
we just sit and watch them try to
untangle it and claim their own
cover.
                                                            
                       CARLY
That may be the stupidest thing
I've ever heard you say, A.J., and
that's saying something.
                                                            
                       A.J.
You don't like it, you don't have
to participate.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh, I didn't say I didn't like it.
But you could still get in big
trouble.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Yeah, and what are they gonna do?
Suspend me?
                                                            
                       TROY
Right. Let's get to it.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Cool. Troy, we're gonna need your
dad's ladder. And Carly, I need
the sub call in number.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Oh, A.J., I don't know. If it were
known I gave that number out...
                                                            
                       A.J.
Well, I could start talking about
some liquor bottles and some spray
paint...
                                                            
                       CARLY
That's not fair!
                                                            

87.

                       A.J.
Nonetheless...
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (writes the number
       on a piece of
       paper)
Here. If this gets out, I'll kill
you.
                                                            
                       A.J.
Thanks. You won't regret this.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I better not.
                                                            
                       TROY
OK, fine. What do we do?
                                                            
                       A.J.
Here, take a cover and string it
through the rope and tie it like
so...
                                                            
The four teens get to work stringing covers.
                                                            
 
INT. GREG'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Greg lies in bed. His alarm clock reads 4:37. His phone
rings. Greg is startled and jumps up, looks at the clock,
then reaches for the phone.
                                                            
                       GREG
I didn't think you'd need me on
the last day. Especially so early.
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
Sorry, I should have told you.
They like us there early on the
last day. Watch for any pranks.
                                                            
                       GREG
Like what?
                                                            
                       DAWN
Like VW Beetles hoisted on to the
roof. Or one of the all time
classics, an actual horse drawn
wagon full of manure on the front
lawn.
                                                            

88.

                       GREG
That's actually pretty good. But
no subs today, right?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
No, no subs. But here's the
strange thing. I did get a call on
the sub line saying if Mr.
Fitzgerald wants to see his car
again, he should be at the school
this morning.
                                                            
                       GREG
What the hell does that mean? Who
was it?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
I don't know. Only teachers are
supposed to have access to that
number. I can't believe one of
them would have known something
about this and not said anything.
                                                            
                       GREG
Stranger things have happened. You
want to come pick me up?
                                                            
                       DAWN (on phone)
I'll be there in a half hour.
                                                            
Greg hangs up the phone, gets out of bed and stretches.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Greg and Dawn approach the rear entrance to the school.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Looks pretty quiet so far.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, too quiet.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Boy, you really do need a
full-time job. You've been
watching too many movies.
                                                            
                       GREG
Yeah, definitely watching too many
movies.
                                                            

89.

                       DAWN
You're hopeless. I'm going to go
in and see who's here. You go
around the front and see if you
see anything.
                                                            
                       GREG
Roger.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Just get. I'll be around in a few
minutes.
                                                            
Dawn enters the school through the rear entrance. Greg turns
and begins to walk around the side of the building in the
shadows.

Greg stops as he sees two figures sneak toward the front of
the building.
                                                            
                       GREG
Bogeys, 12 o'clock.
                                                            
Greg keeps close to the edge of the building and works his
way around the corner and peers into the front courtyard.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
                                                            
A.J. is at the top of a ladder holding a pole hooked to one
end of a rope with all the missing pencil sharpener covers
tied to it. The other end of the rope is tied to the rooftop
across the courtyard. A.J. is trying to stretch the pole up
as high as possible so Troy and Carly, who are on the gym
roof - at least two stories up - on the near side of the
courtward can pull it up. Carly is leaning over the edge to
try to reach the rope. Vanessa is holding the ladder steady.
                                                            
                       CARLY
I can't quite reach it.
                                                            
                       TROY
Here, hold on to this rope and
stretch.
                                                            
Troy hands Carly an end of rope that is tied to a vent on
the roof.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Almost got it ,,,
                                                            
Carly reaches just a bit to far and screams as she slips off
the edge of the roof. She is still holding the end of the

90.

rope that is tied to the roof, but she is now dangling high
in the air.
                                                            
                       TROY
Carly!
                                                            
Troy leaps to the edge to try to reach down and grab Carly
by the arm. A.J. and Vanessa are frozen. Greg rushes into
the courtyard.
                                                            
                       GREG
Carly!
                                                            
                       A.J.
Mr Fitzgerald...
                                                            
                       GREG
A.J., how did they got on the
roof?
                                                            
                       A.J.
There's an access ladder around
the other side. We pulled it down.
                                                            
                       GREG
      (to A.J.)
You stay here.
      (to Vanessa)
You go into the office. Carly's
mom is there. Get her and bring
her here. Understand?
                                                            
Vanessa nods and runs into the building. Greg runs to the
side, finds the ladder and climbs to the roof.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL ROOF - DAY
                                                            
Greg runs across the roof to where Troy is trying to pull
Carly up.
                                                            
                       CARLY
Help me!
                                                            
Greg leans over next to Troy and grabs one of Carly's arms.
Below, Vanessa returns with Dawn.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly!
                                                            
                       CARLY
Mom!
                                                            

91.

                       GREG
All right. We've got you. Pull,
Troy.
                                                            
Together, Greg and Troy manage to pull Carly back over the
edge and onto the roof. Carly hugs Troy and sobs. Greg
stands back and wipes his forehead.
                                                            
                       TROY
Thank you, Mr. Fitzpatrick. I
don't know if I could have gotten
her up myself. I don't know what
would have happened.
                                                            
                       GREG
She'd probably have a broken leg.
Or a broken head. What are you
guys doing up here, anyway?
                                                            
Dawn is still watching from below.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly!
                                                            
                       CARLY
I'm fine, mom. We'll be down in a
minute.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (to Greg)
You know all those pencil
sharpener covers? We were trying
to string them up across the
courtyard. Senior prank. It was
A.J.'s idea.
                                                            
                       GREG
I bet. He can't seem to stay out
of trouble right now.
                                                            
                       CARLY
He's a good guy, Mr. Fitzpatrick.
                                                            
                       GREG
What's that, Carly?
                                                            
Carly hesitates.
                                                            
                       TROY
Tell him, Carly.
                                                            

92.

                       CARLY
It wasn't A.J., Mr. Fitzpatrick.
I'm the one who put the bottle in
your bag to try to get you fired.
And I'm the one who spray painted
your car, and did all that other
stupid stuff.
                                                            
Carly begins to cry.
                                                            
                       GREG
It's all right, Carly.
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (sobbing)
It's just that my mom deserves the
best, you know. Since my dad...
And your just a sub ...
                                                            
                       GREG
Carly, I am a substitute teacher.
I know about your dad running off
with a sub. But I'm no substitute
for your dad. I know that's a
relationship that will remain
special to you. But we're both
crazy about your mom, and I know
we both just want her to be happy.
And believe it or not, I want you
to be happy, too. I'd really like
it if you decided you want me to
be happy, too.
                                                            
                       TROY
See, Carly? I told you.
                                                            
                       CARLY
      (still sobbing)
You better treat her right, OK?
                                                            
                       GREG
I will. I promise. Are we good?
                                                            
                       CARLY
Yeah.
                                                            
Greg and Carly hug.
                                                            
                       GREG
Good. Now let's get down from
here.
                                                            

93.

Greg, Troy and Carly walk across the roof and climb down the
ladder to the courtyard.
                                                            
 
EXT. SCHOOL COURTYARD - DAY
                                                            
Greg has his arm around Carly's shoulders as they approach
Dawn and Vanessa. Troy follows them. Mr. Delaney also
arrives.
                                                            
                       DAWN
Carly!
                                                            
Carly rushes to Dawn, and they hug.
                                                            
                       MR. DELANEY
I have to admit, this was a pretty
funny trick.
                                                            
                       GREG