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Shakie's Snack Shack (Short)
by Austin Greene (austingreene@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

What can I say? I made this short to see what I can do. I hope this is the beginning of something bigger. Thanks for reading!


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. BURGER SHOP - DAY
                                                            
Pan from wall to wall-- Its a rather slow day at this
resturant, we can only see a single couple and a few lone
business men occupying several tables.
                                                            
We see two men walk in the door. The first of which has a
black afro larger than his head, which perfectly matches his
stained AD/DC shirt. INTRO LEROY (25). The other one gives
the impression of being the opposite, yet strangly alike.
His long red hair covers his face, almost hiding the
impression of being a full-grown ginger. His hunch and acne
don't improve his image. INTRO ERNIE (26). We can obviously
tell that these two are from the bottom of society, maybe
even the bottom of the gaming community.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
And so I was like, fuck you,
douchebag! Only noobs camp out
with missle launchers.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Poor kid. You shouldn't do that.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
No! Lil' dickdouche sent a report.
I can't play it for two more
hours. Freakin' balls, man. Its
like you, and your whole sniper
rifle thing.
                                                            
                       LEROY
You're jealous. After 2 months, I
actually show improvement at
something. It's been nine years
we've been hanging out, and you
still suck at everything.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
That's not what your mom said.
                                                            
Leroy appears not to heard this, staring off into space,
with an even less attractive look on his face.
                                                            
Ernie follows his gaze, to reveil a HOT BLOND behind the
counter. She looks incredibly bored, filing her nails with
the classic "kill me, now" look on her face. INTRO REBECCA
(23)
                                                            

2.

                       LEROY
Woah. A female.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
I did it! I envisioned her in the
shower yesterday, and here she is!
      (squints)
But with an unfortunate amount of
clothes on.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Think she has a boyfriend?
                                                            
                       ERNIE
If she did, I could take him.
                                                            
                       LEROY
No, really though. Would I have a
shot?
                                                            
Without waiting for a smartass comment, he starts to walk
towards the counter. Ernie notices, runs after him, and
butts him out of the way to take his place.
                                                            
                       LEROY
What the hell man?
                                                            
                       ERNIE
The female is mine!
                                                            
Rebecca continues to look at her nails, until Ernie's high
voice brings her back.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
Uh, 'cuse me.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
Hi. Welcome to Shakies Snack
Shack. May I offer...
      (beat)
... fuck it. Whatda ya want?
                                                            
Ernie looks up at the menu, he appears to struggle with
words a little.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
Uh. I'll take the... Super Burger
and a Shakie Shake. And a Super
fries.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
Ok.
                                                            

3.

                       ERNIE
Know how I can handle all that
food? I'll bet you think I should
be fat. I'm not though. Wanna know
why?
                                                            
                       REBECCA
No.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
I work out. Makes me strong and
thin. And healthy. You should
workout.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
I'm ok.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
Like me, I can bench eighty
pounds.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
To be able to bench eighty pounds,
youd have to be able to count to
eighty. Now move, we have paying
customers behind you.
                                                            
Ernie seems unable to react, lost in thought as to what this
could mean. He slowly steps aside, and walks to a table. We
can still see a confused look on his face as he takes a
seat.
                                                            
Leroy takes his spot.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Hi.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
Hey.
                                                            
                       LEROY
I'll take a Super Burger and a
drink. Hey, I'm sorry for his
attitude. It's my day with little
Johnny.
                                                            
Rebecca's whole attitude shifts at Leroy's words.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Johnny's kinda the pet of our
family. We all take turns feeding
him. Poor kid lost any trace of
intelligence moments after birth.
                                                            

4.

Rebecca gives a strange look.
                                                            
                       LEROY
He was dropped three times in just
as many minutes.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
Aww. You are so kind! The world
would be so great with more people
like you!
                                                            
                       LEROY
I've been told. But he's family,
and I'm just doing my job. Poor
little guy spends his days trying
to fit into society and hit on
girls. Each attempt detracting
from the other.
                                                            
Rebecca takes a short glance at Ernie, who seems to have his
finger stuck up his nostril.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
He seems a little...
      (beat)
... slow. You let me know if there
is ever, and I mean ever, anything
I can do.
                                                            
She takes a pen, and writes something on a sticky note.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
Here's my number. You let me know.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Thanks. Sometimes I think all he
needs is a little attention from
somebody else. His condition and
his face make him a bit of an
outcast.
                                                            
                       ERNIE (o.s.)
You fuckbag! You're talking about
me!
                                                            
Ernie flies in from the side. His fists begin pounding at
his larger friend's chest. Leroy's arms go up, to defend
against the rather weak hits.
                                                            
                       LEROY
What the hell are you doing?!
                                                            

5.

                       ERNIE
He spreads lies!
                                                            
They struggle for a while. Ernie swings for Leroy's head.
Leroy blocks it with his hand. Ernie knees for his crotch,
but misses completely. Ernie punches one last time, only to
have his fist caught. Leroy finally forces Ernie's head into
a headlock.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
Don't believe what he said! I was
the one with a girlfriend in High
School!
                                                            
Any respect Rebecca had with either of them is completely
gone. She glances at her cellphone.
                                                            
                       REBECCA
And... My shift is over.
                                                            
The door opens. We see a tall, lean, and good-looking boy
enter, wearing skinny jeans and a red shirt. INTRO ALEX
(24).
                                                            
Rebecca runs up to him, and they share a tender embrace.
They glance at Leroy and Ernie, who are still frozen in the
headlock.
                                                            
                       ALEX
Damn baby! Why are you hanging
around noobs like these two?
                                                            
                       REBECCA
The're freaks. Let's go.
                                                            
Rebbeca and Alex exit the resturant, Rebecca grabs the
sticky note exposed from Leroy's pocket. Leroy releases
Ernie, and they plop down at a table in silence. In the
b.g., we see a guy take Rebbeca's cash register.
                                                            
                       LEROY
Wait. We didn't even get our food.
                                                            
                       ERNIE
Freakin' balls, man.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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