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by Jay Allen (jaysallen@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Drama User Review:

Jay is a shy but good-looking man who is divorced and has a daughter. His lack of confidence keeps him from the career he wants and having relationships with women, until he consults a psychic and starts writing Ekaterina from a Russian mail-order bride service. Jay's luck in his career finally changes and his relationship with Ekaterina takes him to Moldova to meet her in person. It is then that he starts seeing signs. Will he finally find love?

EKATERINA 0673

FADE IN:

INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - CARPENTERSVILLE, IL - MORNING

JAY, 28, wakes up in a queen bed held up by cinderblocks in
the living room. He hears a child's blabbering noise coming
from the adjacent bedroom. He sits upright on the bed for a
moment and stares at the TV. He looks at the alarm clock
next to the bed. It says 9:23. He slowly walks to the
bedroom and opens the door.

Jay's daughter KELLYN, 2, has her right foot and both hands
on the crib railing.

JAY
(enthusiastically)
What's going on in here?

Jay lifts Kellyn and her snuggly blanket up and sets her
down. She picks up a white Pooka stuffed animal from the
toybox, puts the blanket in her mouth and darts into the
living room. Jay follows her and turns on the TV.

JAY
How about some nice pancakes for
breakfast?

Jay's attention turns quickly to the television set. His
mood automatically goes from upbeat to worried.

NEWS REPORTER
We have confirmation that just
minutes ago, a second airplane has
hit the World Trade Center. We
also have confirmation that all
aircraft has been ordered to be
grounded at major airports. All
aircraft in the sky are accounted
for except for United Airlines
flight 93. We will keep you
posted on the status of that
aircraft. Again, both towers of
the World Trade Center have been
attacked.

JAY
Attacked? This can't be true?

Jay looks over at Kellyn who is by the sliding glass window.
He hears loud footsteps coming up the stairs. The door
swings open. CINDY, 23, barges in frantically.

CINDY
You're not going to work today! We
are being attacked!

JAY
Yeah, I know! But by whom?

CINDY
Terrorists! And they might be
targeting airports! It's not safe
for you to work tonight!

Cindy picks up Kellyn and then turns up the volume on the
TV.

Jay and Cindy watch a few minutes of the reporting.

JAY
You know, I have to go to work. If
I don't go I'll get fired.

Cindy puts her hand on her mouth and almost breaks down
crying.

JAY
I'm sure its OK. I'm going to
call over there really quick. I'll
take the phone and call you OK.

Jay grabs his uniform; slacks, white shirt, and cardigan and
goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

EXT. ILLINOIS HIGHWAY 72 - INSIDE CAR - AFTERNOON

Jay drives down the highway towards the Chicago O'Hare
International Airport. He has the radio tuned to news and
stares in amazement at airplanes in a landing pattern, one
landing every two or three minutes.

INT. CHICAGO O'HARE INT'L AIRPORT - TICKET COUNTER - AFTERNOON

Jay walks into the American Airlines terminal as he is
amazed by the number of people waiting in line to be helped.
He goes into a back room where he clocks in. Jay's manager
Joy approaches him.

JOY
Hi Jay. Ummm we're getting
swamped. Can you get out to
domestic as soon as possible. Just
help customers the best you can
with hotel vouchers, overnight
kits, whatever, OK.

JAY
Sure. So there won't be any
flights today then?

JOY
No, it doesn't look like it. It's
been chaotic. I really appreciate
your help.

JAY
No problem!

Jay takes his spot behind the ticket counter and starts
getting set up. He looks up and a man and a woman are
standing directly in front of him.

JAY
Oh! I'm sorry. It will be only a
few seconds here. How can I help
you.

MALE PASSENGER
We have a connection in Chicago,
but I bet you can guess that we
have a problem and we can't return
home to Phoenix. So just get us
our hotel.

FEMALE PASSENGER
If possible can you get the Hilton
right across the street.

JAY
Ok. Let me check my computer.

Jay checks availability at the Hilton.

JAY
I'm sorry, it shows the Hilton is
completely booked. I can get you
both a room at La Quinta on
Schiller Road. Would that be fine
with you.

MALE PASSENGER
Yeah, we'll take that. Jay can
you tell me when the next flight
is departing?

JAY
I have no idea. I wish I knew.

FEMALE PASSENGER
Oh my God! You must be so
overwhelmed. I just want to get
home.

JAY
Well, here are your vouchers and
the complimentary shuttle will
pick you up outside. You should
be notified when the next flight
is.

MALE PASSENGER
Thank you.

Jay smiles, looks at the big line of people and pushes a
button which makes a noise and lights up a number on a big
screen.

INT. AIRPORT TICKET COUNTER - NIGHT

Joy walks up to Jay who is helping a customer.

JOY
Go ahead and take a half hour
lunch after this one.

JAY
OK

Jay walks out to the front and gets a free hot dog and cup
of soda from a red cross stand and then goes to the break
room.

INT. BREAK ROOM - NIGHT

Jay sits down at a table and bites into his hot dog. He
pulls out his cell phone and calls Cindy. The news is on
the television and the agents are watching it.

JAY
Hi, how is everything?

JAY
Oh you know. Very busy. Very
emotional.

JAY
Yeah, it was. I drove to the
airport and all you could see were
all these airplanes coming in to
land. Just a long line of planes.
I couldn't believe it.

JAY
How's our Kellyn?

JAY
Hi Kellyn! What are you doing?

JAY
That sounds fun!

JAY
Let me talk to mommy! I love you.

JAY
Ok. I have to go, but I'll see
you at home.

JAY
I love you too.

Jay hangs up and becomes glued to the television.

NEWS REPORTER
United Airlines Flight 93 it
appears, crashed into a field near
Shanksville, Pennsylvania shortly
after the two planes hit the World
Trade Center. That airplane was
targeting the Capitol or
Whitehouse.

CAMERON
I'll bet the passengers kicked
their ass!

ERICA
Yeah. Well, it's 7. Time to head
back to the craziness. Hey Jay!
How's your wife and daughter.

JAY
Fine. I just wish I could get
this night over with.

ERICA
Definitely!

Jay walks back to the ticket counter.

INT. AIRPORT TICKET COUNTER - MOMENTS LATER

The terminal becomes empty with only a few passengers. Jay
steps back and puts both hands behind his head and breathes
out. A man approaches the counter.

JAY
How can I help you sir?

MALE PASSENGER
(hands Jay ticket)
Can I get my tickets refunded
please.

JAY
Two tickets to Nassau on the 23rd?

MALE PASSENGER
My wife is scared to fly.

JAY
OK. I'll just refund this back to
your credit card.

The passenger leaves. Joy walks over to Jay.

JOY
Hey Jay, go ahead and go home now.
Thank you for your help.

JAY
Sure, you have a good night.

Jay gets in his car and drives home. He gets out of the car
and walks into the 3rd floor apartment.

INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - CARPENTERSVILLE, IL - NIGHT

Jay enters. Cindy is putting Kellyn to bed.

JAY
(loudly)
I'm back!

            CINDY
      (shouting from
       bedroom)
I'll be there in a minute. There's
some pizza for you in the fridge.

Jay walks into the kitchen and gets a slice of pizza and
puts it in the microvae. He grabs a carton of apple juice.
Cindy walks in and puts her arms around Jay.

            CINDY
      (hugging Jay with
       tears)
Jay, I know I have been really
hard on you lately. I just wanted
to say how sorry I am for how I
have been treating you.

JAY
It's ok. I'm just glad you're ok.

            CINDY
      (let's go and
       looks Jay in the
       eye)
No seriously. I have been a total
bitch and after today I realized
what's really important in life.

JAY
You've been working so hard to get
better.

CINDY
(interrupting)
And you have been so patient
putting up with all my crap. You
are amazing. How was work?

JAY
I made it through the night. It
was pretty chaotic.

CINDY
Those guys were on planes before.
You may have looked evil straight
in the eye.

INT. CHICAGO O'HARE INT'L AIRPORT - BREAK ROOM - DAY

Ticket agent employees are sitting at the tables and some
are standing. Jay is sitting at a table with four others.
He is nervously tapping on the table.

            PRESIDENT BUSH
      (on television New
       York ground zero)
I hear you. The country hears
you. And pretty soon those who
did this will hear from all of us.

JOY
(loudly)
Everybody! Can I have everyone's
attention. Go ahead and find a
spot. Let's all see if we can get
everyone in here for a few
minutes!

Employees continue to walk into the break room. Joy stands
on a chair to turn the TV off. And then places herself
directly in front of the employees.

JOY
I'm sure all of you are wondering
why we are having this meeting.
Our company not only lost two
airplanes on September 11th, but
we also have had a huge financial
loss due to the groundings of our
aircraft and passengers requesting
refunds. People just aren't
willing to fly. American Airlines
is losing about $20 million per
day. That means we will have to
layoff some of our workforce. We
go by seniority here. Those who
have been here one year or longer
will continue working. Anyone
with 1 or less years will be laid
off with the potential of being
called back. You will keep your
flight benefits until the end of
the year and we do have the
possibility of transferring you to
another location.

Jay sinks back in his chairs and puts his hand on his chin,
worried.

INT. CHICAGO O'HARE INT'L AIRPORT - TERMINAL - NIGHT

Jay is done with his shift. He walks out the front doors.
Cindy and Kellyn are waiting in the car. Jay enters the
passenger side door. He is very quiet and down trodden.

INT. CAR - OUTSIDE AIRPORT DEPARTURE TERMINAL - NIGHT

CINDY
Hey!

Jay shuts the passenger door carefully. He is seated in the
passenger seat, staring straight ahead about ready to cry.

CINDY
What's wrong?

Jay looks at Cindy. He takes a deep breath.

CINDY
Oh no! Don't tell me! Were you
laid off?

Jay nods his head. Cindy puts her hand on his neck.

JAY
Yeah. It's possible we may get
called back. They did it by
seniority. I don't know what we
will do.

CINDY
Oh well. We'll survive.

JAY
I love this job. I know it better
than anyone here. I was going to
go far here.

CINDY
I know honey. I know.

They drive off.

INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Jay and Cindy are lying in bed. Jay is staring at the
ceiling. Cindy is lying on her side looking at Jay.

CINDY
What are you thinking?

10.

JAY
Our rent just went up to $650. We
were barely making it as it was. I
probably won't find anything else.
It looks like we will need to go
back to Idaho and figure something
out.

CINDY
I think you're right. We can get
an apartment. You've got
unemployment. I can probably talk
to Stacy and get my old job back.
You can find a travel agency job
or something.

JAY
Yeah, I guess.

Cindy and Jay kiss. Jay turns the other way. Cindy puts
her arm around Jay.

EXT. OUTSIDE APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY

Light snow is covering the ground in December. Jay pulls
down the door to the moving trailer. He is wearing a
baseball cap and a jacket. Cindy has a black jacket and she
walks toward the car. Kellyn is crouched down playing with
the snow.

JAY
Ok. That should do it. We're
ready for another long boring
drive across the States.

CINDY
I think we got everything.

Jay picks up Kellyn and swings her around. Kellyn starts
laughing.

CINDY
We need to stop at Lisa's really
quick to say goodbye.

JAY
Allright. Let's get this show on
the road!

Camera view of the blue Chevy car as they drive through
Iowa, Nebraska, Wyoming, the mountains of Western Wyoming
and Idaho.

11.

INT. ARBY'S RESTAURANT - DAY

Seven months later.

Cindy, wearing glasses and hair pulled back in a scrunchy,
and Jay, wearing a dress shirt, tie, and slacks, are eating
beef and cheddars and fries. Jay still does not have a job
since moving to Idaho.

CINDY
So, any luck with the job search?

JAY
Well, I talked to Murdock Travel.
They decided not to hire anyone
because they don't get commission
from the airlines anymore.

CINDY
The problem is you're set on the
travel industry. I'm sorry but
that doesn't seem to be the best
option now.

Cindy finishes off her sandwich and crumples up the wrapper
and chews for a few seconds. Jay grabs his soda and takes a
drink while looking out the window.

CINDY
I'll bet you didn't call Melissa
about that job did you?

JAY
No, I didn't have a chance yet.

CINDY
Jay! It's been seven months.
Unemployment benefits aren't going
to last forever. You need to do
something.

Jay looks at his watch.

CINDY
(upset)
Let's go!

Jay and Cindy empty their trays and leave the restaurant.

12.

EXT. OUTSIDE ARBY'S RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER

Jay and Cindy are walking to the car. Cindy keeps nagging
him about getting a job.

CINDY
(raising her voice)
Do you have any idea how important
this is to our family. People at
my work are even starting to
wonder why you aren't..

            JAY
      (interrupting and
       raising his voice)
You know what. You aren't
helping. I've been applying to
every job I can find. I've sent
out countless resumes.

Cindy stops in front of the passenger car door looking
towards Jay. Jay is standing in front of the car.

CINDY
(yelling)
And I've been telling you to talk
to Melissa for five days now. And
you keep putting it off. I come
home from working and you're just
laying around. And then that was
just wonderful when you thought
you would sell fucking vacuums!

JAY
(yelling)
I fucking know that already! It
was a fucking stupid idea and I
told you this. What the hell am I
supposed to do?

            CINDY
      (in a quieter but
       strong voice)
Jay, I don't care if you have to
work at McDonalds. If you don't
have a job by next month, I want a
divorce.

Cindy gets in the car. Jay angrily grabs the driver side
door and gets in the car.

13.

INT. PIZZA HUT - DINING ROOM - DAY

CLINT
Well, we need someone who will
stick around for awhile, but I
feel good about you. Can you be
here tomorrow at four?

JAY
Yeah! I'll be here at four.

CLINT
Great! It was nice to meet you
Jay.

Clint shakes Jay's hand. Jay leaves the restaurant.

EXT. OUTSIDE PIZZA HUT - MOMENTS LATER

Jay dials Cindy on his cell phone.

JAY
Hey! I got the job. I start
tomorrow.

INT. PUBLIC LIBRARY - DAY

Jay walks down an aisle searching for a particular book. He
grabs a book about international business and starts
flipping through the pages. Moments later, his cell phone
rings.

JAY
Hello.

JAY
Oh my God, you're right. I'm at
the library and I totally forgot.

JAY
I'm on my way. It'll be about ten
minutes.

EXT. UNIVERSITY PLACE - MOMENTS LATER

Jay drives into the parking lot. Cindy is standing there
waiting. She opens the door and gets in.

14.

JAY
I'm so sorry. I was looking at
books about careers and I forgot.

CINDY
Jay. We need to talk.

JAY
(puzzled)
Yeah.

CINDY
You need to be with someone who is
more like you. I'm filing for
divorce.

JAY
What? Are you serious?

CINDY
Yes Jay, I am.

INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

Jay has tears in his eyes standing by the recliner. Cindy
seems to be stronger but is also tearing up. Kellyn is
playing in the background.

CINDY
I put you up to this. I'm too
young, getting married at
nineteen. I was too immature. I
got married to please my parents.
I thought they would approve of my
past.

Jay wipes his tears and takes a deep breath.

JAY
I know I didn't want to get
married. I had a lot of
unanswered questions, but I got
used to it.

Tears are running faster down Jay's face. Kellyn walks over
to see what's going on. Cindy starts to cry.

CINDY
Don't cry. You know you're going
to be much better off. You wont
have me nagging you all the time.

15.

            JAY
      (lets out a tiny
       smile)
I know. But I never thought we
would end up here.

CINDY
Don't worry. We'll still be . But
I need to find an apartment and
get our bills straightened out.
I'm also going to need a car.

JAY
Ok. I'll be allright. What about
Kellyn.

CINDY
We'll talk about it. I don't want
to be a wife and mother. I really
don't. I can't handle it. We just
need to keep this civil between us
for her sake, OK.

JAY
OK. I gotta go to work.

CINDY
I'll call you.

Cindy and Jay hug in a tight embrace. They let go. Jay
hugs Kellyn and then walks out the door.

INT. CAR - AFTERNOON

Jay is driving, tears running down his face. Dixie Chicks
"Landslide" starts playing on the radio.

INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Cindy, wearing a denim jacket, denim skirt, and boots is
checking out a pumpkin. Kellyn is standing on a chair at
the table. Jay walks in with a pizza.

CINDY
(happy and excited)
Look Pooka! It's your dad with
the pizza. Bring it on over here
Jay.

16.

JAY
(happy and excited)
Everybody get some pizza and let's
carve this pumpkin!

Cindy pulls a few plates out of the cupboard. She starts
putting slices of pizza onto the plates. Jay grabs a knife
from the drawer, placing it in front of the pumpkin and
grabs a marker.

JAY
So it looks like I'm carving this
thing or what?

CINDY
You are the Meister!

JAY
Watch and learn!

Jay takes a bite out of the pizza and starts drawing on the
pumpkin with a marker.

JAY
There! What do you think?

CINDY
Yay! Perfect!

Kellyn starts clapping.

Cindy, Jay, and Kellyn continue eating and drinking soda.
Jay carves the pumpkin. They take turns scooping out the
seeds.

CINDY
See Jay! This is how we should
keep this. We can still do things
together. You know we were all
friends before we dated. Kellyn
will thank us someday!

JAY
I agree. So how have things been
going?

CINDY
Well the apartment is not that big
but it will do. Me and Chandalee
went out to the bar and got so
drunk.

17.

JAY
Did ya?

CINDY
Hey, you should come out with us
and get something to drink. The
butterball is coming soon.

JAY
I don't know.

CINDY
Come on. It'll be fun. You also
need to get laid.

JAY
Well as exciting as that sounds,
it'll be awhile before I get
together with someone.

CINDY
Get out of here. I do have to
admit though. Just let me say you
are very large in a certain area.

JAY
(smiling)
Really?

CINDY
Dead serious! What do you think
I've been doing when I go out. Now
I have someone to compare. You are
a very .. big .. boy!

EXT. FLASHBACKS - CONTINUOUS

Approximately seven years later. Jay is going back
throughout the past eight years reminiscing about his
difficulty finding a woman and his career, flashing back
through various scenes of his life since the divorce.

JAY (VO)
That made me feel better. I got
over her very fast. But I'm
socially awkward. I never talked
to anyone throughout high school.
One of the first things I did was
went on a single's cruise to
Mexico. I tried to impress a
blonde girl named Emily who liked.
I and three other women tried
scuba diving, except I couldn't do
(MORE)

18.

JAY (cont'd)
it. We all danced on the
cruiseliner but I didn't talk to
her or try anything. After awhile
I got a real estate license but
only sold a few houses and had to
quit. It was there I met a girl
named Afton, a blond who I had a
big crush on, and same thing. Next
thing I knew she got engaged to
someone she knew for a week. I
tried speed dating and ended up
with noone interested in me, but
it was ok as I was only interested
in one or two. I hoped to meet
single women when I took my
daughter to McDonalds but ended up
disappointed finding out most were
already married. I tried to get
on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire
several times driving thousands of
miles to Las Vegas, Phoenix,
Seattle, and Kansas City but never
passed. I returned to college and
received a teaching degree in 2007
but then the economy crashed and I
couldn't even find a job. I was
getting sick and tired of wanting
a relationship and good life so
bad only to fail over and over. I
finally had enough and made a
decision that would totally change
me. This is my story of the woman
of my dreams and my quest to win
her heart.

EXT. LARGE EXPENSIVE HOUSE - EVENING

Jay delivers a pizza. A beautiful blonde woman opens the
door and smiles. Jay is speechless and smiles.

JAY
(very excited)
Hi. How are you doing?

BLONDE CUSTOMER
(smiling)
Good. One second while I write
out a check. How much do I owe?

19.

JAY
(showing pizza)
You orderd a large pan supreme and
breadsticks, right. That's
$16.99.

            BLONDE CUSTOMER
      (smiling
       flirtatiously)
Yes, thanks. So how is your night
going so far?

JAY
Not bad.

Husband walks into room.

HUSBAND
How are you doing?

JAY
Good.

BLONDE CUSTOMER
Here you go. I put your tip on
there.

JAY
Thank you.

The door closes. Jay walks down to the sidewalk, turns
around and stares at the house.

JAY
Someday this is going to be my
house and that is going to be my
wife.

INT. JAY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Kellyn is 10 years old, playing with her new rat, Bagel.
Hanna, Jay's 2-yr old German Shepherd is laying on the couch
very focused on the rat. Jay comes out of the kitchen with
two mugs of hot chocalate.

JAY
Here you go. Hot chocalate!

KELLYN
Thanks dad!

20.

JAY
You're welcome. Should we watch
Pirates of the Carribean now?

KELLYN
Ok. Let me go put Bagel in her
cage.

Jay puts the dvd in the player, while Kellyn goes to her
bedroom. Kellyn comes back and sits on the couch next to
Hanna. Jay sits at his desk where his laptop is turned on.
The movie starts. Jay looks at his e-mail. There is an
e-mail from astro.com.

JAY (VO)
I opened up the e-mail that would
set me on a life changing course.
It was a psychic reading. I
learned about transit dates to
take action on based on the
alignment of the planets. I was
skeptical at first, but the
reading was spot on. It told me I
would have a career with something
international but I was more
interested in my love prediction
who I would meet online. This is
what it told me: I have done a
character analysis for you as it
is important you will need to know
how to be prepared when the time
comes to seduce this person. You
need to prepare by building your
self-confidence and stop
underestimating yourself. You
cannot accept the first person to
come along in your life like you
have already done in the past. You
need to constantly tell yourself
that you deserve the woman you
have in mind. Don't worry Jay
because when you meet this person
you will be pleasantly surprised.

INT. JAY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Kellyn has fallen asleep on the couch next to Hanna. The
movie ends. Jay walks over and kisses Kellyn on the
forehead. Hanna licks Jay's face. Jay pets Hanna. Jay get
back on his laptop.

21.

Jay goes to a website called Anastasidate and starts looking
at women's profiles. He stops on one for Ekaterina, 31
years old, from Chisinau, Moldova with blonde hair, green
eyes. He sits and stares, smiling. Then he clicks a link
that puts her profile in his favorite contacts.

INT. BANK - CHISINAU, MOLDOVA - EVENING

EKATERINA, 31, blonde straight hair, green eyes, wearing
business attire is a manager at a bank and is getting ready
to leave. She picks up her purse and swings it around her
shoulder.

EKATERINA
Dobrey Vecher!

EXT. SIDEWALK NEAR BANK - EVENING

Ekaterina waits until a Maxi Taxi, white mini-van type
vehicles, stops. Snow is falling down all around her. She
boards and gives the driver the fare.

INT. MAXI TAXI - EVENING

Ekaterina sits in the Maxi Taxi as she goes home for the
night. She sits there thinking with a tired look.

INT. APARTMENT - CHISINAU, MOLDOVA - EVENING

Ekaterina gets on an elevator and walks into the apartment
she shares with her mother, MARIYA and her brother, OLEG.
Her mother is cooking borsch. Ekaterina helps cook. Oleg
is on the cell phone sitting at the kitchen table.

MARIYA
Yego devushka.

EKATERINA
Drugoy! Skolʹko on imeyet?

Oleg looks up and smiles. Mariya looks at Ekaterina.
Ekaterina holds up the knife with an upset look on her face.

EKATERINA
Muzhchiny zdesʹ beznadezhna.
YA dolzhna byla vyyti zamuzh.
Posle semi let , on govorit, chto
on ne gotov. On khochet, chtoby
partii. Nichego, kromemoshennika .
Chto mozhno delatʹ
(MORE)

22.

EKATERINA (cont'd)
zhenshchinam ?

They all eat borsch at the table. Ekaterina finishes and
goes to her room and starts up her computer. She sees that
Jay has her in his contact favorites. She smiles and starts
typing a letter.

            EKATERINA (VO)
      (from her personal
       letter)
Hello my dear Jay! The men here
have a saying that the women here
are beautiful if you drink vodka.
I hope you have sense of humor. Do
you think I look pretty. I hope I
find my husband abroad. The men
here take woman for granted. Why
you search for wife abroad? Most
of my friends are already married,
so I guess I must hurry. Warm
regards, Ekaterina.

EXT. FRONT YARD - JAY'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Jay drives up to his house and gets out. He has a red and
black pizza hut jacket and black pants on as he is getting
home from work very late. A lot of snow is covering the
yards and streets. Jay gets the mail from the mailbox and
then goes inside.

INT. JAY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Jay gets on the laptop at his desk. He sees a letter from
Ekaterina and is very excited. He starts typing his own
letter to Ekaterina.

JAY (VO)
Dear Ekaterina, thank you for your
letter. I think you are very
beautiful after drinking some
vodka. No seriously, you are very
attractive. You ask me why I
search abroad for a wife? American
women have too much drama and I
thought I would give you European
woman a chance. What is your
ethnic background? Are you real?

23.

INT. EKATERINA'S APARTMENT/JAY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

The following scenes show Ekaterina typing letters in
Chisinau and Jay typing letters in Idaho Falls over a period
of time.

EKATERINA
Hello my dear Jay! How are you
doing? I live in Chisinau in
Moldova. Moldova is the most
independent country in the world.
Nothing depends on us here. Here
it is well known for our many
wines. I am Slavic. Moreover I
am very real. What is the most
romantic thing you have ever done?

JAY
Dear Ekaterina,
How are you doing? I am happy to
hear from you. Slavic? Well then
I am Celtic and Germanic, right? I
don't know what the most romantic
thing is that I have done. Maybe
candlelt dinner or a long walk,
holding hands.

EKATERINA
Hello dear Jay, How are you doing?
I had dinner with friends and
later we went dancing at a club.
Do you regret that you were not
there with me? Do you like
borsch?

JAY
Dear Katenyka, I am excited to
hear from you. Yes I like borsch
and I ate borsch at a Russian
restaurant here. I regret I
couldn't be there with you on your
birthday, except the volcanoes in
Iceland would have kept me from
returning home. But that would be
a good thing.

EKATERINA
Jay, Why are you worried about
volcanoes. You could always sell
Matrushka dolls on the street.

24.

JAY
Katenyka, I would jump into any
volcano for you.

EXT. CAR - WYOMING INTERSTATE - AFTERNOON

Jay is driving the car, while Kellyn is sleeping in the
passenger seat. They are on interstate 80 going to Denver
for a career fair. Kellyn wakes up and turns the air
conditioning on. It is February and the sun is shining.

JAY
We should be in Denver in five
hours.

KELLYN
Five hours? We've been driving
for that long.

JAY
Well, Idaho Falls to Denver is
probably 10 hours. We'll stop and
get something to eat, but I think
we'll be there late tonight to
check into our hotel.

KELLYN
I hope you get a job there.

JAY
All I know is I need a job. I'll
go anywhere. Colorado, Texas,
Alaska. I just need to get out of
this rut, not being able to get a
decent job the last two years. I
can't work at pizza hut the rest
of my life. No woman would want
me.

Kellyn grabs a paper out of the glove compartment. It is a
printout of Ekaterina's profile.

KELLYN
Who is this, dad?

JAY
Oh! That would be Katya. She is
from Moldova. We've been writing
each other. Isn't she beautiful?

25.

KELLYN
No! She has her butt sticking
out.

JAY
Hey, I like it. She's Russian.
They all have nice curves and
beautiful eyes. Sexy accents.

KELLYN
Dad! Come on! Why are you
writing her?

JAY
I have been alone for a long time!
I haven't even gone on a date
since your mom and I divorced.
It's been seven years you know.

KELLYN
Can't you find someone here?

JAY
Yeah, I guess. But I'm not very
impressed with them. Plus I'm shy
and have a hard time approaching
them. I think I have Asperger's
syndrome so I can't pick up on
social cues. I think that's why I
have a hard time getting a job. I
have to work ten times harder than
the next person.

Jay turns the radio down.

JAY
Russian women also want marriage.
They are sick of the men there.
The men treat them horribly and
there are many more women than
men.

KELLYN
Just promise me you won't have any
kids!

JAY
I don't know. What if she really
wants kids? You know how women
are.

26.

JAY
Ok, I'll try. But she may want to
have kids.

A police car flashes its lights and pulls JAY over.

JAY
Oh, shit. Every time in Wyoming!
Never fails. Do you have your
seatbelt on?

KELLYN
Yes. What were you doing dad?

JAY
Probably going a little to fast.

Policeman approaches the driver side window. JAY rolls
window down.

POLICE OFFICER
Do you know why I pulled you over?

JAY
I thought I was going the speed
limit.

POLICE OFFICER
You were going ten miles over the
limit. Can I have your license
and registration please.

JAY fumbles around the glove compartment to find the
registration.

JAY
Here it is.

POLICE OFFICER
I'll be right back.

The policeman goes to his squad car and comes back.

POLICE OFFICER
I'm giving you a ticket for
speeding. You have the choice to
appear in court or to pay the
fine, which is $55. Go ahead and
sign here.

JAY signs the citation.

27.

POLICE OFFICER
I noticed the passport there.
Which country are you from?

JAY
Well, its an American passport.

POLICE OFFICER
Oh. I'm sorry. What countries
have you visited?

JAY
Germany, Switzerland, Austria,
Denmark, Sweden, Finland, United
Kingdom.

POLICE OFFICER
Oh. Well, drive safe.

The policeman returns to his squad car.

JAY
Are you kidding me? I have a
western American accent! And then
he wants to know what countries I
was in. What is this? East
Germany.

KELLYN
He was stupid. He probably
thought you kidnapped me!

Jay takes out the paper with Katya's profile and looks at it
for a few seconds.

JAY
Oh my God!!

KELLYN
What, dad?

JAY
Wow!! I can't believe this!

KELLYN
What is it?

JAY
Look at Katya's profile number
right here.

28.

KELLYN
Are you OK dad? It's just a
number. What are you talking
about?

JAY
Look. One, one, five. Then look
here. Zero, six, seven, three!
Don't you see. I was born in June
in 1973! Ha! This is amazing!

KELLYN
Dad! It has nothing to do with
anything.

JAY
Well, let's go.

Jay starts driving with a big smile on his face.

EXT. INSIDE CAR - FREEMAN PARK - IDAHO FALLS - DAY

JAY is parked by the Snake River. He is nervous as he is
waiting for a phone call to take place between him and
Ekaterina through an interpreter.

            JAY
      (radio playing,
       talking to
       himself)
OK, Jay, calm down. Z dnyem
roshdenya Katya. Z dnyem
roshdenya. I can't believe I am
doing this.

Jay's cell phone starts ringing. An interpreter named
Svetlana talks to Jay.

JAY
Hello.

SVETLANA
Hi, is this Jay?

JAY
Yes it is.

SVETLANA
This is Svetlana. You have phone
call reservation today with
Ekaterina. I have her on the line
if you want to start speaking.

29.

JAY
Z dnyem roshdenya! Happy Birthday
Katya!

            EKATERINA
      (continues
       speaking in
       Russian)
Thank you! Spasiba!

SVETLANA
(interpreting)
Ekaterina says thank you for the
wonderful flowers. She wasn't
expecting this.

JAY
Your welcome. And I am finally
excited to speak to you in person.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks how is the weather
there?

JAY
Cold and it has been snowing.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Jay, Ekaterina asks if you are at
work because she can hear noises
in the background.

JAY
No, I am in my car. It must be
the radio. What did you do for
your birthday?

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina says she went to lunch
with friends. Then later tonight
she plans on going to a club with
her friends.

JAY
That's good.

30.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks if you have any
plans for Easter and what you do
for easter.

JAY
Well we spend time with family and
I am Mormon we usually have a
conference.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina says she met some of
them and they have more than one
wife. Is this true?

JAY
Well, we used to practice polygamy
but we don't anymore?

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks if you agree with
this principle.

JAY
No I do not agree with it.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina says I think you would
like this.

JAY
(laughing)
maybe I have had several offers
already. Oh, and I went to
IdaRusskie where I ate borsht and
bought russian candies

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks what kind of
candies they were?

31.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks what kind of
candies they were?

JAY
I don't know they had some kind of
caramel inside.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina says she will make a
garlic chees bread for you when
you come here.

JAY
That sounds delicious.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina asks what kind of pranks
you did for April Fool's day.

JAY
It's still a little early in the
day, so I havn't done any pranks
yet.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
Ekaterina says her brother told
her that her computer had major
problems.

JAY
That's really funny. Well I
wanted to wish you a happy
birthday again and give yourself a
hug from me.

            SVETLANA
      (interpreting for
       Ekaterina)
And Ekaterina says she gives you
hugs and kisses and thank you once
again for the birthday wishes and
present.

32.

JAY
That's really funny. Well I
wanted to wish you a happy
birthday again and give yourself a
hug from me.

Jay hangs up and tries to start the car but it won't start
because he used up the battery. He has to get out and walk
to his parents' house.

EXT. JAY'S CAR - DAY

Jay is driving. Bagel, the rat is in the back seat, in a
glass cage. The radio is on. Jay's cell starts ringing. He
answers it.

JAY
Hello. Oh, hi! Yes. Thursday?
Yeah, that works. What's the name
of the school? Lincoln? I can
find it. Ok. Thank you. I'll
see you then!

Jay calls Kellyn.

JAY
Hey. Yeah I have Bagel. I have
an interview on Thursday! Sioux
Falls, South Dakota. I have to
drive there. They wouldn't have
me drive all the way out there, so
I think I've got the job! We'll
talk later. Bye.

Jay hangs up.

EXT. FRONT YARD - GRANDMA'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Jay gets out of the car. He opens the rear door to get the
rat. The rat is not in the cage. Jay looks under the seat
and sees the rat named Bagel.

JAY
Great!

Kellyn runs out the door.

KELLYN
(yelling)
Dad, did you get Bagel for me?

33.

JAY
Yeah, but she got out of her cage.
She's under the seat! See if you
can get her!

Kellyn reaches her hand underneath the seat. Jay looks on.
Bagel jumps into the dash area behind the radio and air
conditioning.

KELLYN
Bagel! She went up there!

JAY
(laughing)
What should we do now? Umm.

Kellyn opens up the glove compartment. She grabs ahold of
Bagel's tail.

KELLYN
I think I got her! Owww! Bagel
bit me.

Kellyn's hand is bleeding.

KELLYN
She bit me!

JAY
Let's go inside and get a bandaid.
We'll think of a way to get her.

EXT. PIZZA HUT - NIGHT

Jay is dressed in his Pizza Hut uniform. He gets off work
and gets in his car. He starts driving to South Dakota.

EXT. INSIDE JAY'S CAR - DAY

Jay pulls over by a creek in Riverton, Wyoming. He is tired
from driving. He reclines his seat back and starts to take
a nap. He can hear the rat moving around inside the air
conditioning. He tries to sleep.

EXT. INSIDE JAY'S CAR - SOUTH DAKOTA - NIGHT

Jay is tired and driving the interstate. The rat appears in
the odometer and looks at Jay and scares him then darts back
inside the air conditioning.

34.

INT. HOTEL - SIOUX FALLS - 4:00 AM - NIGHT

Jay enters his hotel room. He sets the alarm for eight
o'clock. He lays down in bed.

INT. HOTEL - 7:50 AM - MORNING

Jay is asleep dreaming. He dreams that Ekaterina is in bed
with him. She puts her arm around him and kisses him.

EKATERINA
Wake up Jay!

Jay is still dreaming. He turns to Ekaterina.

EKATERINA
I am happy Jay! I know you get
job.

The alarm goes off. Jay wakes up and smiles because of the
nice dream.

Jay's cell rings.

JAY
Hi Kellyn. Yes Bagel is Ok. I
know. We'll get her when I get
back. (more emphatically) Kellyn,
she'll be fine. I have to get
ready for the interview. I don't
want to be late. I love you.

INT. LINCOLN HIGH SCHOOL - CONFERENCE ROOM - MORNING

Jay is in a room with the principal, assistant principal and
two foreign language teachers.

PRINCIPAL
So, Jay. Tell us a little bit
about yourself.

JAY
I'm from Idaho Falls. I'm a
little tired from the long drive.

Light laughter fills the room.

JAY
I'm passionate about teaching
diverse students....

35.

The scene shows Jay answering all the interviewers'
questions.

INT. OFFICES AND CAREER FAIRS - DAY

Camera show various scenes at high schools in Boise, Idaho,
Salt Lake City, UT, and a career fair in Spokane, WA
interviewing with school officials. You see his confidence
grow in each scene. The last scene shows Jay in his living
room on Skype dressed professionally in suit and tie talking
to the principal, assistant principal, and two teachers.

INT. JAY'S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

PRINCIPAL
Your phone interview went really
well. Solveig said your German
was near what a native speaks.

JAY
Really.

PRINCIPAL
Now we just wanted to do a skype
interview so we can see each other
and make sure you would be willing
to work here in Alaska. What kind
of outdoor activities do you like
to do?

JAY
I like to ski. I like to hike,
camp, and go fishin.

INT. JAY'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON

PRINCIPAL
Thanks, Jay. I just need to talk
to your references and get your
contract written. Congratulations
on making it to this point. We
decided to go ahead and hire you
to teach German and world history
full-time.

JAY
Thank you so much!

Jay runs outside and gets in his car.

36.

JAY
Yes! Now I have a real job and
everything is falling into place.
I can see myself with Katya now! I
can't believe this!

INT. CINDY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

Jay knocks on the door. Cindy opens the door. Kellyn is
inside. Cindy is making a pasta dish.

JAY
I got the job!

CINDY
You did!

JAY
Alaska! German and world history!

CINDY
Jay that's awesome! I'll get you
a beer. We are celebrating.
Kellyn's is going to be excited.

            KELLYN
      (running into the
       living room)
Dad, you got a job in Alaska?

Jay hugs Kellyn. Cindy brings Jay a beer.

CINDY
I also have some dinner for ya. To
your new career.

Cindy toast Jay.

CINDY
We were just talking about Kellyn.
She'll go to school here this
year, but she can live with you
next year in Alaska. I think that
would be cool.

JAY
I would like that.

CINDY
Well, Jay that's fucking awesome!
Finally!

37.

EXT. FRONT YARD - JAY'S MOMS HOUSE - MORNING

JAY is packing his car to go to Alaska. JAY'S mother and
KELLYN are in the front yard. They will be saying goodbye
before JAY leaves to Alaska.

LINDA
Do you want to take some granola
bars with you?

JAY
Yeah sure.

Jay walks his german shepherd, Hanna, to the car and she
jumps in the back. Kellyn walks to the car and hugs Hanna.

KELLYN
Goodbye Hanna, I love you!

JAY
Well, I think I have everything.

LINDA
We love you. Drive safe.

Jay's mom hugs him. Jay turns toward Kellyn. A tear rolls
down his eye.

JAY
I love you Kellyn!

Jay hugs his daughter. More tears roll down his face.

KELLYN
I love you too dad.

JAY
I'll call. Be good and stay out
of trouble. I'll miss you but I'm
coming home for Christmas Ok.

Jay and Kellyn let go. Jay gets in his car and drives away.

EXT. CANADA - CAR - CONTINUOUS

Music plays as Jay drives through Canada.

JAY (VO)
Dear Katenyka,
It was nice to get your letter. I
am moving to Alaska. I have a new
teaching job teaching German and
history. Do you know anything
(MORE)

38.

JAY (cont'd)
about Alaska?

EKATERINA (VO)
Hello my dear Jay,
How are you doing? It is very hot
here. The air conditioning in the
office is giving me a cold.
I hope you make it to Alaska OK. I
know that it was gift from Russia.

Jay takes pictures of the largest pysanki egg, tours the
Ukrainian village, and eats Ukrainian food.

JAY (VO)
Dear Ekaterina,
I drove through Canada. I stopped
in Vegreville, Alberta. There is
the worlds largest Pysanki. This
is where Ukrainians settled at the
beginning of the 1900's. I also
ate some pelmeni and Halbutsi
together called the babas feast. I
think baba stands for babushka. I
also visited their museum that
explained traditional Ukrainian
weddings.

Jay and Hanna sit by a lake in Yukon as the sun sets.

Jay and Hanna take a break by the sign that states, "welcome
to Alaska"

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - DAY

Jay is in front of the classroom teaching German right
before the end of class.

JAY
Steht auf!

Everyone stands up

JAY
Geht zum Tafel!

Students go to the whiteboard.

JAY
Schreibt euren Namen an den Tafel!

Students write their name on the board.

39.

JAY
Setzt euch!

Students sit down.

JAY
Also, das ist fantastisch! Alles
klar, Klasse! Ok, October 3rd is
German reunification. This is the
20 year anniversary. Wir feiern
an diesem Tag! We are
celebrating. You can bring food,
preferably German food. I'll
bring music and Strudel.

The bell rings.

JAY
Auf Wiedersehn Klasse!

The students leave. Jay walks up to a large map on the
wall. He stares for awhile at Moldova.

JAY
I'm finally where I need to be.
All I need to do now is go visit
Ekaterina.

INT. SECRETARY'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON

Jay walks in the office to talk to the secretary to get
approval for the strudel.

JAY
Hi Doris

DORIS
Hi! What can I do for you?

JAY
I need to get some strudel for my
German classes.

DORIS
Ok. Just fill out this form here.
Strudel huh. My grandparents are
German. Last name was Krieger.

JAY
It means fighter or warrior.

40.

DORIS
Really!

The principal walks in.

DORIS
Did you hear that? I'm a warrior!

CYD
Cool! So you're having a
celebration.

JAY
Yeah. I'm bringing in a Berlin
Wall and we're going to paint it
and then I'm getting Strudel for
the whole class.

CYD
That sounds wonderful! I'd love
to see that. Great idea!

JAY
Sure! You're invited.

CYD
We'll also have to go to the
Schwabenhof for some beer
sometime. It's just down the
road.

JAY
That's great!

EXT. OUTSIDE SCHOOL DOORS - MORNING

There is light rain and wind. Jay puts big pieces of
cardboard outside.

EXT. OUTSIDE SCHOOL DOORS - MOMENTS LATER

Jay and students go outside. The students start painting
the wall.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Jay places the painted cardboard in the middle of the room.

41.

            STUDENT
      (taunting other
       side)
You are in the East! You are a
loser!

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - MOMENTS LATER

Cyd, the principal walks into the room.

JAY
Ok. Now there is an important
announcement. The East German
government has reluctantly decided
to let East German cross. Tear
down the wall!

Jay places part of the cardboard against the wall. He turns
on some music and then brings out the strudel, plates, and
utensils.

JAY
Here you go! I hope you like the
Cherry.

CYD
I love cherry! It looks like they
are enjoying themselves. Good job
Jay!

JAY
Thank you!

Jay and the principal continue talking. A girl goes to the
back of the room and starts painting on the cardboard. She
draws a large penis. Jay notices but the principal doesn't.
Jay quickly goes over to the girl.

JAY
Hey! You can't be doing that.
Give me the brush and turn that
around, please.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - DAY

JAY is finishing a powerpoint lecture on the fall of Rome.

JAY
So we talked about Diocletians
reforms and how he divided the
empire into the west and east. The
west continued to be attacked by
(MORE)

42.

JAY (cont'd)
Germanic tribes culminating in a
landmark sacking of Rome in 410 by
Alaric and the Visigoths which
marks the official decline of the
Roman Empire.

JAY
You should by now have all the
causes of the fall of the Roman
empire in your notes. There will
be an essay question on the test.
I will also talk about these
causes and compare them to our
day.

HEATHER
We were supposed to be taking
notes?

JAY
No. You will never have to take
notes in my class. Ok I'm joking.
Yes you should have been taking
notes. Ok everybody listen up.
I'm getting tired of having to
tell everyone to stop talking
unless you raise your hand. So
please, I don't want to waste
anymore valuable time.

Students continue interrupting and JAY keeps trying to push
the lesson on.

JAY
Let's look at the United States
today and compare it to Rome. How
well off do you think we are
financially?

RICHARD
We have a huge national debt.

JAY
That's right. And you all will be
paying for it. What happened to
our economy in 2008?

RICHARD
The housing market collapsed.

43.

JAY
Yes the housing market bubble
bursted and we bailed out the
banks. Continue to print more
money. There is a paralell to
Rome here. They also had lavish
spending until a collapse. Now
another thing, what about the
Roman government and the circus.
Entertainment.

Students are interrupting. There is no order.

JAY
Quiet please. Can someone else
respond besides Richard?

Noone is answering.

JAY
Think about lady Gaga, Brittney
Spears, celebrity gossip.

JACOB
(laughing)
Oh yeah Brittney Spears is out of
control. Ha ha. She is a slut!

JAY
Ok inappropriate Jacob.

Students are talking and out of control.

JAY
The roman leaders tried to hide
what was going on by providing
entertainment to the masses like
the circus and the gladiators, but
people didn't care about politics
while Rome was falling. The same
is happening today. People are
distracted by celebrities and
entertainment. Not many people
can tell you where Iraq is. We
are at war there. These wars in
Iraq and Afghanistan cost billions
of dollars. And then what about
our borders?

Students continue talking until JAY starts sharing an
emotional experience. It gets very quiet. Everyone starts
to listen.

44.

JAY
On September 11th, 2001 I was
working for American Airlines. I
was married and had a 2-year old
daughter. I will never forget the
day we were attacked. I thought
how could a country as powerful as
the United States be brought to
its knees when those planes hit
the World Trade Center. I ended
up getting laid off because of it
and we just moved thousands of
miles away to a new place, a new
job, away from family and friends.
I had no idea what to do. So I
want you to ask yourselves. Why
are we learning about this? This
is why we learn this. I will say
this again. What we are learning
in here applies to you. You will
need to learn about this.

The bell rings. JAY goes to his desk. He is alone in the
classroom. He takes out a picture of Ekaterina and looks at
it for a while.

JAY drops off Hanna at the kennel. And drives to the
airport. He is going to Idaho for Christmas vacation to
spend time with his daughter. He boards the airplane and
flies home.

EXT. CAR - ON THE WAY TO TARGHEE - DAY

JAY is taking KELLYN skiing at Targhee. Edward Maya "Stereo
Love" is playing on the radio. A lot of snow covers the
ground outside.

JAY
I love this song. Do you know
what it is Kellyn?

KELLYN
No. And it's really not that
great.

JAY
No. Listen! Do you hear the
accordion. It sounds very
Moldovan. I like it. It reminds
me of Katya.

45.

EXT. TARGHEE SKI RESORT - DAY

KELLYN
Dad! What do I do?

JAY
Here make a V-shape with your skis
and that will stop you. Then when
you go again shift to the other
side.

INT. KELLYN'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY

JAY
Kellyn! I found the song. It's
Edward Maya from Romania.

JAY starts playing the song on the computer. Kellyn sees a
picture of Katya holding perfume on the computer.

KELLYN
Dad! You bought her perfume! How
much did you pay?

JAY
I think around $180. Look at her
though! Isn't she gorgeous?

KELLYN
Dad!

EXT. BUSH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PLAYGROUND - NIGHT

JAY is trying to call KATYA on his cell phone to wish her a
happy new year but she is unavailable.

JAY
(to himself)
Ya khotel buh. Ya khotel buh
poshyelat vam stacvilovo novovo
goda.

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of the new year holiday. We are
sorry. Please try back again on
Tuesday.

46.

INT. COLONY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY

JAY comes back from vacation. He gets a manila envelope
from his mailbox and goes to his classroom to open it.

JAY
(to himself)
Student evaluation. Does not
control student behavior. I don't
think teaching is his calling.
Needs to do something about the
bad kids. Isn't clear on the
assignments. What can this
teacher do to improve? Get fired
and do the top button. A girl in
my class says he creeps her out.
Needs to send kids to the office
sometimes.

Jay looks like he is about to cry but doesn't.

JAY
It doesn't make sense. I try so
hard. But nobody works with me.
How can they say such things.
Where are the positive things. I'm
always willing to help anyone with
questions

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - DAY

JAY
Welcome back class. Did everyone
have a good break? First of all
we have a new seating chart. Look
at the screen and find your seat.

Students go to their seats.

JAY
So, we are continuing with the
middle ages. Start taking notes
and then I will explain the
project assignment. But now we
need to take notes. We already
talkd about the early middle ages
and now we are starting a new
period around 1000 AD. The
weather starts getting warmer.

JAY has his back turned. One student goes to the middle of
the room and holds his hands down while another student

47.

steps on his hands and does a back flip. JAY turns around
in time to see it. Other students laugh.

JAY
That is a liability. If you try
something like that again, I will
write a referral. Understand?

JAY
Attacks from Vikings, Magyars, and
Moslems are decreasing. These are
the high middle ages. Things are
finally improving. So we start
moving to advances in agriculture.
We are talking about something
called the three-field system.
Austin! You need to stop talking.
Put away the cell phone!

AUSTIN
We never do anything fun. We are
behind the other classes. You
don't even know how to teach.

JAY
What do you suggest?

AUSTIN
I don't know. Some kind of feast
or something fun. This is gay.

JAY
Please think about what you say. I
consider that bullying. Now I
will think about a feast as long
as it goes along with the middle
ages. But right now I need to go
over this material.

JAY
OK Vince, give me the cell phone!

VINCE
It's not mine. It's Robert's.

JAY
I don't care. I'm taking it to
the office. You can explain it
later.

VINCE
That's my second offense!

48.

ROBERT pretends to be texting underneath the desk. JAY sees
this and walks towards him.

JAY
Give me the cellphone now.

ROBERT
I don't have one. See!

Robert shows his hands.

JAY
Do you want me to send you to the
office? Or you can stay after
class for the amount of time you
are wasting.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - DAY

JAY
Now we will be learning about
China, Japan, and Korea. We will
start by splitting up into teams.
Using your textbook on pages
432-476. You will write down four
hints about Asian geography. You
will place them in the envelope
and we will have a competition to
learn about Asian geography. You
now have 20 minutes OK.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - MOMENTS LATER

JAY
Noone should be talking now. When
we read the hint, everyone else
needs to be paying attention. We
will try this one more time.

Student takes slip of paper from an envelope and reads the
question.

TERRI
What is the wettest place on
earth?

VINCE
Robert's mom.

Class roars in laughter.

49.

JAY
Enough! Show some respect. That
was inappropriate. Austin! I
need to talk to you in the
hallway. Now!

Vince starts writing on the promethean board what looks like
a woman's breasts or a smiley face.

JAY
OK. Put that down! I'm writing a
referral.

VINCE
It was a smiley face!

JAY tries to find a referral form in his desk but can't find
it.

JAY
Ok. Everyone go to your table and
you are going to label all the
countries. This activity is over.

EXT. CAR - ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL - MORNING

JAY is listening to the radio about the death of Osama Bin
Laden.

RADIO TALK SHOW HOST
Folks, it appears our Navy Seals
have shot and killed Osama Bin
Laden. We are awaiting a press
conference from President Obama.
Now the announcement was made in
the 9th inning of a baseball game
between the New York Mets and the
Philadelphia Phillies. The
strange thing is the score was
1-1. Think about it - ninth
inning. nine one one. The
airplanes crashed in New York and
Pennsylvania and the two teams to
resume after baseball games where
cancelled in 2001 was the
Mets-Phillies. That is more than
just coincidence.

50.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - DAY

JAY
You need to read the article and
answer two question from the
worksheet. I may or may not grade
it. So take a few minutes and
then we will discuss it.

Most students including ROBERT are off-task. ROBERT and
another student try to hand it in at the last minute.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - WORLD HISTORY - MOMENTS LATER

JAY
OK. Good. Hand in you papers.
And now we will talk about the
Russian revolution.

ROBERT
Wait, I'm almost done.

JAY
You've had 15 minutes. It is now
10:05. We started at 9:50. I
won't accept these.

ROBERT
You're a douchebag!

JAY
You can go to the office and I'm
writing a referral for
insubordination.

INT. MR. MCMAHON'S OFFICE - LAST DAY OF SCHOOL - DAY

BRENDON
We have decided that we won't
renew your contract. You've
worked so hard. You just aren't a
good fit for the students here.

JAY
I know they were talking about
laying off teachers. Does that
have something to do with it.

BRENDON
Well yeah that would have probably
happened anyway, but it is more to
do with not passing the district
(MORE)

51.

BRENDON (cont'd)
standards.

JAY is seen with tears running down his face. JAY leaves
the office.

JAY (VO)
This is ironic. I was laid off
because of Osama Bin Laden and
9/11. Almost ten years later Bin
Laden is dead and I am getting
terminated. I found out the last
day of school. The students knew
it before I did. They cheated on
the final. I was in tears when I
told the administration. I could
have given each one a zero but
instead requested apologies. I
didn't know if I would ever teach
again. I already paid for a
flight to Moldova. If I am
supposed to marry Katya, how am I
supposed to marry her if I don't
have a career anymore?

INT. JAY'S APARTMENT - DAY

JAY wakes up, takes a bath, and gets out his laptop.

JAY
Hi Hanna. What a beautiful day.
20 hour sunlight! No school. I
don't have to deal with any snotty
kids. And now I get to go to
Chisinau Moldova. Things can't be
better!

            JAY
      (typing letter to
       Katya)
Dear Katya,

How are you doint? I am still
trying to get used to 20 hours of
sunlight. Guess what? I am
finally coming to Moldova. I
leave on Tuesday. I will be in
Seattle a few days, then I fly out
of Vancouver, Canada. I will
spend a few days in England, my
ancestral homeland and then I will
be in Germany. I will fly to
Chisinau on the 13th. I will be
            (MORE)

52.

JAY (cont'd)
there until the 24th. I hope you
are as excited as I am.

JAY takes Hanna to a kennel. He drops his car off at the
auto shop for repairs. He boards a bus from Wasilla to the
Anchorage Airport. He flies from Anchorage to Seattle. He
takes a bus from Seattle to Vancouver. He has to spend the
night in the Vancouver International Airport since the
flight is the next morning.

INT. VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - NIGHT

JAY is on his laptop. He opens a letter from Ekaterina on
June 7th.

EKATERINA
(in a letter)
Hello Dear Jay!!!!

I'm very happy to hear from you,
but I'm very sad since you didn't
inform me about your arrival
earlier. . I have my plans made.
And I am leaving on Jun 11th. I
will be back on 22nd of June
evening. You write you can stay
here till 24 of June. I can meet
you on 23rd, but will this be
enough for you?

I can guess you are dating other
ladies since your arrival is so
unexpected.
Or maybe it is connected to
something else and I am wrong.So,
what do we do with a meting? I
know you ordered service 'date
me'.
I can meet you only when I am back
from Bulgaria.
My tour with my friend is bought
and all reservations are paid for.
I cannot cancel it. Sorry!
I feel really sad. ;-(((

Have a great day ahead!
Katya

JAY calls the airlines to try to change the dates on his
airline ticket but is unsuccessful. So he pays for a
separate one-way ticket for June 30th.

53.

JAY
(on cell phone)
Yes. I would like to change the
return date of my ticket to the
30th. I can't do that. Isn't my
ticket refundable? It is past the
21 days. How much is a simple
one-way return ticket? $912. I
can fly back on the 30th? Go
ahead and put it on my card.

JAY types out a response to KATYA.

JAY
(in a letter)
Dear Katya,

Dear Katya,

Don't be sad. Enjoy Bulgaria!
;-))) I changed my return flight,
so I leave 6/30 instead of 6/24.
That's better. I just don't know
what I should do until you get
back. I have an international
driver's license so I might go
north and see Moscow/St.
Petersburg, but I don't know if I
need a visa.

I'm sorry about the confusion. I
thought I had to arrange it
through your agency first. ;-(

We can talk about it later. I also
know you may be busy with work. I
hope you have a lot of fun in
Bulgaria!!!

INT. VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - TICKET COUNTE - MORNING

People are waiting in line at the ticket counter.

JAY
Excuse me. I booked through
Airtran, but the airline is called
Thomas Cook. Is this the right
place?

EUGENIO
Yes, Thomas Cooke. That's right.
Are you going to London?

54.

JAY
Yes, I'm going to London and then
Germany and Moldova.

EUGENIO
Wow. That's a lot. Is it
vacation or business.

JAY
Vacation. I'm actually meeting
someone there. It was less
expensive to fly out of Vancouver,
so I took a bus from Seattle

EUGENIO
So you're American? I live in
Italy and manage several hotels. I
have dual citizenship. Canada and
Italy. Well looks like I'm next.
It was nice meeting you.

JAY
Yes. Have a nice trip.

INT. VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - GATE - DAY

KELLYN calls Jay.

JAY
Hi Kellyn. I'm in Alaska. I'll
be coming home in a few weeks.

Announcement in Chinese comes on.

JAY
What language is that? (pause)
Ok. I'm at the airport and I'm
going to Moldova. Now Kellyn,
make sure you don't say anything
to grandma, ok. Ok, I love you
and I will call you when I get
there, OK.

JAY boards the airplane. JAY'S flight departs for London.

INT. LONDON GATWICK INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY

JAY tries to book a hotel but his card won't work. He plugs
in his laptop and reads a letter from Katya.

55.

EKATERINA
Hello dear Jay!

How are you doing?

Thanks for your understanding.

I am very happy you can stay here
longer.

Well, I guess you need visa for
Russia. Maybe you can work on
opening it before your trip, s you
can visit Moscow/St. Petersburg.
;-)))

Well, it is ok you asked the
agency, but first I think would be
better to confirm everything with
me.
They even tried to persuade me to
stay here, but I am not going to
lose my trip.
I hope you understand.

Thanks for wishing me a great
trip.
I am leaving tomorrow.

Wish me a great trip and see you
when I am back to Chisinau.

Kisses,
Katya ;-)))

JAY spends a day traveling around London, walking and using
the tube. He visits the Parliament and Buckingham palace.

INT. FRANKFURT INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT - DAY

JAY (VO)
So, here I am in Frankfurt,
Germany, a place all too familiar.
In two weeks I am meeting Katya
for the first time on my birthday,
June 23rd. I started meeting
random people everywhere I went. I
was walking around Frankfurt that
night looking for a hotel when I
met Kurt and Dominick.

56.

EXT. FRANKFURT AM MAIN - NIGHT

MICHAEL
Ist alles in Ordnung?

JAY
Ja, ich suche ein Hotel.

DOMINICK
Sind Sie Amerikaner?

JAY
Ja, ich bin deutschlehrer in
Americka.

JAY (VO)
They invited me to sleep on their
couch for the night. We drank
whiskey and talked about German
history. Michaels fiancee and her
sister joined us. They made
breakfast the next morning before
I left. The next evening I ran
into the man I met in Vancouver,
Eugenio.

EXT. OUTDOOR CAFE - FRANKFURT - EVENING

EUGENIO
I don't know if you could tell.
I'm gay.

JAY
I thought so, but that's allright.

JAY
Eugenio was a cool guy and we
ended up talking having a few
beers. I started to imagine that
we were supposed to meet because
it would lead me to this
international career from my
reading, but I think he was only
interested in me for something
else.

EXT. CHISINAU, MOLDOVA - DAY

JAY arrives at the Chisinau International Airport. A taxi
driver asks him if he needs a ride. They leave in a very
small taxi.

57.

JAY
Why was I meeting all these random
strange people? Was it all part
of something?

DIMA
So, here Hotel Cosmos.

JAY
Spasiba.

INT. HOTEL COSMOS - CHISINAU, MOLDOVA - DAY

MARINA
Outside, there is American.

JAY
Really!

MARINA
You go talk to him.

JAY goes outside and sees a man in his car with the door
open playing a guitar.

JAY (VO)
Now it gets really strange. You
may call it coincidence, but I
think it was a much bigger sign.

JAY
Hi. A lady in the hotel says you
are American.

KRIS
I am. I live here. My name is
kris. What's yours?

JAY
It's Jay.

KRIS
You must be on vacation then.

JAY
I'm actually meeting a woman.

KRIS
The woman here are amazing. My
last girlfriend was 19 and a
virgin. She started going crazy
after her dad was murdered and the
cops didn't do anything. I'm with
(MORE)

58.

KRIS (cont'd)
someone else now. But now I have
Moldovan citizenship because of
her.

JAY
Wow. Her name is Katya who I'm
meeting. She is actually in
Bulgaria on vacation, so I'll be
going to Ukraine until she gets
back. We're actually meeting each
other on my birthday the 23rd.

KRIS
Really! That's also my birthday.
What a coincidence!

INT. COSMOS HOTEL - NIGHT

JAY spends time walking around Moldova. He talks to people.
He records it and takes pictures. He gets back to the
hotel.

MARINA
Hi. He wants you to e-mail him.

The hotel manager hands JAY a slip of paper with Kris's
e-mail address.

JAY
(to himself)
Kris Allen! We have the same last
name and the same birthday and I'm
meeting Katya on my birthday. This
is very strange. Maybe it's a
sign?

EXT. ODESSA, UKRAINE - DAY

JAY drives a rental car to Odessa. He gets there and gets
lost but keeps driving. He finally gets into the main city
and tries to find parking. As he finally finds a parking
spot and pays a parking attendee he looks at the street sign
to find he is on bulitsya katerininsika - katherine
boulevard. He thinks it is another sign. He walks to the
Katerine the Great statue and takes pictures and goes to the
Black Sea.

Walking back from the Black Sea, JAY sees a limousine and a
bride and groom with people taking pictures. JAY stops for
a moment and watches in amazement, smiling.

59.

EXT. KIEV, UKRAINE - DAY

JAY walks around Kiev with a camcorder. He starts singing
Michael Franti and Spearhead "Hey, hey, hey" and then sings
"the sound of sunshine" loudly while passing people.

INT. VILLA NUMENIA - BREAKFAST ROOM - MORNING

JAY is eating breakfast at the apartment he is staying at.
Also eating breakfast are Ulrich and a Moldovan woman.

ULRICH
Sind Sie deutscher?

JAY
Nein, aber ich kann deutsch.

ULRICH
Ich bekomme kein Internet auf
meinem Handy.

ULRICH shows JAY his cell phone.

ULRICH
I will go to the front desk and
ask.

JAY
So are you two dating through the
mail order bride website?

            DARIA
      (shaking head to
       side)
No.

JAY
I'm sorry. I am meeting a woman
named Ekaterina tomorrow with an
interpreter.

ULRICH
(laughing)
You don't need interpreter. You
have translator on your phone.

Daria says goodbye and leaves.

ULRICH
I'll show you a chatroom at the
desk.

60.

JAY and Ulrich go to front desk computer.

ULRICH
This site is Eurocupid. I will
chat with this one Oksana. Do you
want to meet? Oh, she responded
already. See. Hunting.

JAY
Well I have to go now and find
some souvenirs. Schoenen Tag
Ulrich!

EXT. CHISINAU, MOLDOVA - JUNE 23 - DAY

JAY is walking around Chisinau looking for roses for Katya.
He quickly goes to the dating agency office to let them know
he will be late. Noone is there. He leaves a note. Then
he buys roses and returns.

INT. LOVE AND MARRIAGE AGENCY OFFICE - DAY

            JAY
      (knocks on door,
       door opens)
zdrasvuyteh. I'm Jay.

ANNA
Hi Jay. I'm Anna. The
interpreter. I just called Katya
and waiting for her reply.

JAY
Oh. I need to rest anyway. I was
running all over the city looking
for roses and that's why I am
late.

ANNA
So are you ready to meet her?

JAY
I am so nervous. It's all I've
been thinking about. I've been
here and in Ukraine for the past
10 days.

ANNA
Wow. Yes, I know she was on
vacation.

61.

Phone rings. Anna talks to Katya.

ANNA
Katya was locked out of the
apartment. She is talking to the
locksmith. So we will meet her
closer to where she lives. I will
call the Taxi.

Anna calls the taxi. They wait for eight minutes.

JAY
Oh. I'm an idiot. I have a
rental car.

ANNA
Why didn't you tell me?

JAY
I'm distracted by meeting Katya, I
guess.

ANNA
(laughing)
It's ok. But I can't cancel now.
He should be here anytime.

JAY and ANNA leave in the taxi and go to La Placinte
Restaurant.

EXT. LA PLACINTE RESTAURANT - OUTSIDE PATIO - DAY

ANNA
So, Katya says she is on her way.

ANNA
So how do you like Kishinev?

JAY
I love it. I've never been to the
former Soviet Union. It has a
very different feeling about it.

ANNA
Moldova is a poor country. A lot
of people leave here.

JAY
That's what I've heard.

62.

ANNA
Katya should be here by now. I
will call her again.

JAY
Maybe she doesn't want to see me.

ANNA
Are you kidding me?

Anna calls Katya.

ANNA
She'll be here in a few minutes.

EXT. LA PLACINTE - MOMENTS LATER

EKATERINA walks towards La Placinte.

ANNA
So, do you recognize this blonde
woman?

JAY
Where? Oh, yeah. That's her!

KATYA sticks out her hand to shake. JAY shakes her hand
pauses then gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

JAY
These are for you Katya.

JAY gives KATYA the roses. She finds a pitcher of water on
the table and puts them in it.

EKATERINA
Thank you!

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna into Russian)
Did you have a nice vacation?

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna into English)
I had a nice vacation. I have
been thinking of you the whole
time.

63.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I saw a German woman eat a whole
rack of lamb.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
(laughing) Sounds like an
American.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
How do you like it here and what
you have been doing while I was
gone.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I like Kishinev. It's very
interesting. I had a very
difficult time in Ukraine though.
I got bribed by officials and I
had to drive and couldn't read
cyrillic. I couldn't communicate
when getting gas. But I had a
good time.

WAITER
May I take your order?

ANNA and EKATERINA discuss what to order.

ANNA
Katya wanted to get Chisinau
Blonda to drink but they don't
have it so he suggests Carlsberg
beer.

JAY
OK. That's good.

Anna and Katya look through the menu.

ANNA
Will you get salad. And then Katya
recommends the placinte with
cheese and invirtite. Those are
Moldovan foods.

64.

JAY
Sure. That looks very good.

Waiter brings drinks. ANNA orders food.

ANNA
Shall we give a toast?

EKATERINA
Happy Birthday!

All three toast each other.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I'm sorry that I have to take care
of the lock. My mom is in Kiev.
My brother stayed at a friend's
and he locked me out of the
apartment. I have to go after
this and wait for the guy to fix
the lock.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Ok I see. I got you a few things
while I was in Frankfurt and
London.

JAY hands KATYA a red Frankfurt handbag an umbrella with
Frankfurt pictures, and sunglasses with a union jack flag on
them.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
It says krasivaya Germania. You
look much better than your
pictures.

Katya shyly smiles and starts touching her hair.

JAY pulls out a tiny notebook with a russian title.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What is in this notebook?

65.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I've been trying to learn some
Russian phrases.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What did you wrote?

JAY
Ti khorosho govoreesh
pa-angleeskee?

ANNA
Yes, except you want to say
khorosho and you want to roll your
rrr. khorosho.

JAY
khorosho.

EKATERINA
khorosho.

JAY
I'm so used to the German r which
is deep in the throat.

ANNA
khorosho. chh oh rrrr oh scho.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I've heard some bad English also.
The border agent told me to go
from Ukraine!

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
In school, we had to look into a
mirror and repeat english words
over and over until we got the
pronunciation right.

JAY
Ok, I see.

66.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Have you met any friends here?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
It was weird. I met a man in
Vancouver and then I ran into him
again in Frankfurt. He then
bought me beer and told me he was
gay.

KATYA starts smiling and laughing.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
And I met some Germans who let me
sleep on their couch.

KATYA says something to ANNA and laughs.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I just can't believe I am here. I
never would imagine doing this.
Isn't it strange that we happen to
have our first meeting on my
birthday. It just happens to be
possible on this very day.

KATYA smiles.

ANNA
So we should get dessert if you
would like and then Katya needs to
go.

JAY
Sure.

They eat dessert and then they say goodbye.

ANNA
Ok Jay, I will call you tomorrow.

67.

            JAY
      (shakes hands with
       Katya)
It was nice meeting you Katya.
Ochin priatna.

JAY looks at his notebook.

JAY
zhyelayu vam udatsee!

EKATERINA
Thank you. Goodbye Jay.

JAY waits for ANNA to call. She never calls. JAY doesn't
call back wondering what is happening because he doesn't
want to seem rude.

EXT. PATHWAY IN CIOCANA - EVENING

JAY walks along a path down a main street. There are a lot
of people enjoying the weather and walking. Couples are
holding hands. JAY starts imagining him and KATYA holding
hands walking down the path as if they were a couple in
love.

INT. JAY'S APARTMENT ROOM - NIGHT

JAY is sleeping and is woken up to ULRICH and a woman having
sex above him. A few minutes later, there is knocking on
JAY'S door. He hears another woman laughing. JAY puts on
his clothes and opens the door. Noone is there. The host
walks up to see what is happening. Moments later a taxi
arrives. The other woman says goodbye, leaves and JAY hears
more sex continuing above JAY'S room.

INT. VILLA MUNTENIA - BREAKFAST ROOM - MORNING

ULRICH and ILONA, from previous night, are eating breakfast.

JAY
Guten Morgen!

ULRICH
Where were you last night? We had
a girl there for you. You didn't
answer.

JAY
I am here to see Ekaterina.

68.

ULRICH
Oh, I see. She is testing you to
see if you are a good husband.
This is Ilona.

ILONA
Nice to meet you. Where are you
from?

JAY
Alaska.

ILONA
Wow! And you like it in Moldova?

JAY
Yes. Moldova is wonderful. OK
Ulrich, ich muss jetzt los. Ich
erwarte einen Anruf.

ULRICH
OK. Viel Glueck!

INT. JAY'S HOTEL ROOM - AFTERNOON

Phone rings. ANNA is calling JAY.

JAY
Hello.

ANNA
Hi Jay. How are you doing?

JAY
Good. And you?

ANNA
I'm good. Sorry Katya couldn't
see you. She had to be at the
apartment because of the locks.
She will see you at 6pm. Do you
have any suggestions where you
want to go.

JAY
Yes. I saw some places in the
Megapolis mall.

ANNA
OK. We will meet at the Megapolis
then.

69.

INT. MEGAPOLIS MALL - AFTERNOON

JAY is waiting in the Megapolis Mall with his camcorder
because he wants to get Katya on video.

            ANNA
      (after she finds
       JAY)
Hi Jay. Katya is running late.
She is close.

ANNA gets on the phone and starts speaking in Russian. She
hangs up.

ANNA
I have had interesting experiences
interpreting. I hate it when the
guy comes and after one date he
decides. Oh, we are not
compatible.

JAY
Really. That's weird. I didn't
feel like that at all.

ANNA
I had to interpret for a whole
family at a wedding once. So what
were you doing?

JAY
Well I couldn't sleep at all
because this old German guy was
going at it with someone he met
online.

ANNA
Yeah, some people, they like this
stuff, this sex tourism.

JAY
I don't.

KATYA walks into the mall and walk over to ANNA and JAY.

            EKATERINA
      (She has the
       umbrella and is
       smiling)
Sorry, Sorry, Sorry.

70.

JAY
Ah, it's OK. Privyet, Kak tvoi
... Kak tvoi dela?

KATYA laughs. KATYA, ANNA, and JAY go up the escalator to a
cafe and find out there is no food. JAY pulls out some
cards with restaurants and they choose a Moldovan restaurant
and get in a taxi to go there.

INT. VATRA NEAMULUI RESTAURANT - EVENING

ANNA goes to the restroom and leaves KATYA and JAY alone.

EKATERINA
This my first time here.

JAY
I like it a lot. It is very
lovely. So would you like to go
to America or Western Europe?

EKATERINA
My english is not good. I not
understand.

ANNA comes back and sits down.

ANNA
I suggest we get some Moldovan
wine. It is some of the world's
best wine.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Yes that I would like to try the
Moldovan wine. So this is
actually a Moldovan restaurant?

ANNA
Yes the place the other day was
also Moldovan but it was more of a
cafe.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
So I was trying to see if there
are any concerts we can go to
while I'm here. I want to tour
the city a little more.

71.

ANNA
You need to try Allmoldovafun.md.

JAY gets out his smartphone. KATYA offers to help and holds
out her hand. JAY gives her his phone.

ANNA
So now I propose a toast to both
of you and Jay's trip to Moldova.

JAY
To Katya and our interpreter.

They order food. The waiters bring out the food and light
the flame in front of the table.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Can you tell me about your
relationship with your ex-wife?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
We were married when she was 19.
One day she told me she married
for the wrong reasons and we were
too young. It was more about
pleasing her parents since we are
both Mormon.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Do you stay in contact? Are you
still friends.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I don't talk to her much. She has
a boyfriend. But we decided to
stay friends and share
responsibility for our daughter.
(Anna interprets) So you mentioned
something about your experience
with Moldovan men in your first
letter?

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
They are all jerks and they don't
            (MORE)

72.

EKATERINA (cont'd)
know what they want. The rest are
either married or gay. (Anna
interprets) You eat so slow. Does
it taste good?

JAY
(Anna interprets)
Yes it is very good.

EXT. OUTSIDE VATRA NEAMULUI - MOMENTS LATER

ANNA
So Katya is going to her friend's
now. I'm going to take a bus.

JAY
Ok. Let me see if I remember. Da.

EKATERINA
Dasveedanya.

ANNA
Dosveedanya

JAY
Dasveedanya. Da skovora.

EKATERINA
Da skorova

JAY
Da skorova. Next time I will
remember how to say it.

JAY hugs EKATERINA before leaving.

INT. JAY'S APARTMENT - DAY

JAY is online looking for places to do karaoke. He drives
to a place in Botanica and walks around. He goes to a
bowling and karaoke place but there is only a bowling alley
there. He checks his phone and sees that ANNA called 30
minutes ago but his phone was turned off he tries a few
times to call her back and finally gets an answer.

JAY
Hi Anna. I'm sorry I missed your
call. I had my phone off.

73.

ANNA
Yes. We tried calling several
times. Now Katya has to go to her
friend's.

JAY
Oh, I wish I would have known.
Maybe we can go out tomorrow.

ANNA
Ok, I will call her tomorrow.

JAY is confused. He gets a drink and bowls a couple of
games. He talks to some guys. He goes by the hotel Cosmos
and finds the karaoke bar and goes inside. He sings Jay
Sean "Down" He records a man singing Dima Bilan "ya tebya
pomnyu" and then JAY sings U2 "Beautiful Day" After
singing, the bartender tells him his friends are there on
the other side of the room.

INT. ART CLUB KARAOKE LOUNGE - NIGHT

KARAOKE BARTENDER
Your interpreter is over there!

JAY
Spasiba

ULRICH, ILONA, and ELLEN are sitting down. JAY sits down
next to them.

ULRICH
How was your date?

JAY
She had to go see a friend. I
don't know because I missed a call
or she stood me up again.

ULRICH
Find a woman here. Look. There
are many over there. Talk to
them. There are plenty of women.
You don't need an interpreter.

ILONA
Jay, this is Ellen.

JAY
Hi.

Shakes hands.

74.

ILONA
My brother is over there. Alex!

ALEXANDR comes over.

ILONA
This is Jay from Alaska.

ALEXANDR
From Alaska?

ULRICH
He had a date with a Russian woman
but she didn't show up.

JAY
Her name is Ekaterina. I'm seeing
her again. But I don't know.

ALEXANDR
Katarina Katastroph! I will find
you a woman.

ALEXANDR goes to tables full of girls asking them to talk to
JAY. ALEXANDR dances and sings karaoke. Another person
does karaoke doing Enrigue Iglesias "Hero" JAY starts
crying. The next song is One Republic "Apologize". Both
songs are very emotional and tears run down JAY'S face. He
tries to hide it and finally he gets up and leaves. ALEXANDR
is still trying to talk to girls for JAY.

INT. JAY'S APARTMENT - DAY

Phone rings. ANNA sets up a meeting for 6pm at Barracuda
restaurant. JAY goes shopping to get a jacket and is 15
minutes late.

INT. BARRACUDA RESTAURANT - EVENING

JAY arrives at the restaurant late. ANNA and KATYA are
sitting at a table waiting for JAY.

JAY
I'm sorry I'm late. I had to get
this jacket.

ANNA
It's Ok. But Katya just got a
call from work. The person is new
and doesn't know how to do the
papers so her boss needs her
tonight. So she will stay for
(MORE)

75.

ANNA (cont'd)
half and hour and get a salad.

JAY
Oh really. That's too bad, but
that's ok.

EKATERINA
(in Russian)

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
can you sit on that side so she
can see you better? (Anna
interprets) We can meet
tommorrow. What did you do today?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I was seeing if there were places
we could go. So I went bowling in
Botanica.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
No! I don't believe you. There
must be someone else you went
with.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I went by myself and then I went
to Art Club Karaoke.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What songs did you sing?

JAY
Jay Sean "Down" and U2 "Beautiful
Day"

EKATERINA
(in Russian)
I'll be right back.

KATYA goes to the restroom.

76.

ANNA
Do you like Katya?

JAY
Yes. Do you think she likes me
though?

ANNA
Are you kidding? Did you see how
she reacted when you told her you
went bowling alone?

JAY
Yeah.

ANNA
When she was sitting here waiting
for you she goes. (sighs) Where
is Jay!? He is probably getting
laid!

JAY
Really. Well we met on my
birthday on the 23rd. And I met a
guy with the same last name as me
and I told him I was seeing Katya
on the 23rd. He said that is my
birthday.

            ANNA
      (looks straight
       into Jay's eyes)
Do you believe in fate?

JAY
I do now!

KATYA comes back to the table. She eats her salad, says
goodbye and thank you and leaves. JAY and ANNA finish
dinner and go to the ATM outside to pay her.

EXT. OUTSIDE RESTAURANT ATM - EVENING

JAY
How am I doing so far on these
dates?

ANNA
I think you two need to go on
vacation.

77.

JAY
To the United States?

ANNA
No, you need visa and it is hard
to get here.

JAY
Oh. Here is your money. I'll
expect your call tomorrow.

ANNA
OK. I'll call you tomorrow. Have
a good night.

JAY takes a walk and he is more excited than ever before. He
is smiling and having a good time. He is very happy.

INT. PASSIONE RESTAURANT - EVENING

ANNA, KATYA, and JAY have already ordered food and beer.

JAY
I got you a present.

JAY gives KATYA a dead sea skin care system.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I was stopped in Mall Dova by a
woman who demonstrated the product
on me, so I ended up getting it.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
The woman must have been jealous.
It might it will ruin my skin!

JAY
(laughs)
I know. The funny thing is she
told me the best place to give the
present is when we are in the
shower. (Anna interprets)

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
How was work last night?

78.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
It was long and stressful. I had
to tell the girl how to do
everything.

ANNA
It has been awhile and my food
isn't here yet. What's the
problem?

JAY
I think she is jealous.

ANNA
She is jealous because you are
here with two beautiful women?

            ANNA
      (to the waitress
       in Russian)
Can you tell me where my food is?

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Can you show me your biceps?

            JAY
      (Katya acts
       surprised,
       smiling)
Excuse me! Ok

ANNA
Jay, we will be right back. We
are going to the restroom.

JAY
Women always go in pairs. Don't
be too long!

ANNA and KATYA return.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What did you do today?

JAY pulls out his cell phone to show Katya a picture.

79.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I bought dog food at a store and
fed these stray dogs.

KATYA starts laughing.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
They took the whole bag. There it
is in the grass!

ANNA
Did you know those dogs can bite?

ANNA starts braiding KATYA'S hair.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I like your hair. Can I get a
picture of us together?

JAY sits next to KATYA. He touches her hair where it is
braided. ANNA takes a picture.

INT. PASSIONE - MOMENTS LATER

ANNA
Katya has to work tomorrow and
tomorrow is your last day here
right.

JAY
Yes, unfortunately.

ANNA
I will call you tomorrow then.

INT. LA PLACINTE - EVENING

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Out of all the places you have
been here, what was you favorite?

80.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I don't know. It's difficult to
say, but I really like it here.
What is it, placinta?

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
You look good. You look much
better in person and you are very
fit.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Thank you. I'm very flattered.

            ANNA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What do you usually look at on the
internet?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Oh, I check sports and I look at
the news. Not much.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Who do you like best, President
Bush, Obama, or Clinton?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I like them all, but my favorite
is George Bush.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
What? Have you heard the man
talk?

JAY laughs.

81.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Well, you know Sarah Palin who ran
for Vice President said she could
see Russia from her backyard.

KATYA laughs.

ANNA
Katya and I need to use the
bathroom.

JAY
Ok. But I'm going to time you.

KATYA and ANNA go to the restroom and return.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
If you were to be in a movie which
actress would you choose?

ANNA
Is this a question you found in a
magazine somewhere?

EKATERINA
Jennifer Aniston.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
And what about you?

JAY
Mark Wahlberg.

EKATERINA
I don't know who this is.

JAY
Tom Cruise.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
No. I think he is too short.

ANNA and KATYA talk for a few minutes.

82.

ANNA
So do you want to go bowling?

JAY
Sure.

ANNA
Ok. We will take a maxi taxi and
go to Megapolis.

INT. BOWLING ALLEY - NIGHT

KATYA, ANNA, and JAY get their shoes and put their names in
the computer. The chairs are small but everybody sits on
opposite sides.

KATYA gets a spare.

JAY
Yay Katya!

JAY gives KATYA a high five.

ANNA bowls. KATYA sits down and folds her arms.

ANNA goes to the bathroom while KATYA bowls. JAY bowls
next. He turns around to KATYA and smiles.

JAY
Rub the ball for luck.

KATYA can't understand. She looks puzzled.

EKATERINA
Yes. I know.

EXT. MAXI TAXI - NIGHT

KATYA and ANNA are sitting down in the maxi taxi. Jay is
one row behind.

            EKATERINA
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Are you sad?

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
Of course. But I'm excited that I
was able to meet you and we had a
            (MORE)

83.

JAY (cont'd)
great time.

            JAY
      (interpreted by
       Anna)
I have a day in England. I will
tell the queen hi for you.

EKATERINA
And this Prince William and Kate?

JAY
Oh yeah, William and Kate.

ANNA
I think this is where you get off.

JAY
(shakes hands)
Goodbye. I'm glad we met. And I
will write you when I get home.
And thank you for everything Anna!

EKATERINA
Goodbye.

INT. JAY'S PARENT'S HOUSE - DAY

JAY pulls up in his car with Hanna. KELLYN greets him with
welcome home signs everywhere. They hug.

KELLYN
Dad, I missed you!

JAY
I missed you!

KELLYN
I've got to say hi to Hanna!

Kellyn gets Hanna out of the car. They hug.

JAY
I got you a lot of stuff.

KELLYN
Cool! Dad, we need to go to my
mom's.

JAY
Ok. I'm glad to be back home!

84.

INT. CINDY'S HOUSE - DAY

JAY and KELLY walk into her house. CINDY is at the
computer.

KELLYN
Hey Mom!

CINDY
Hi Mel!, hi Jay! How was your
amazing trip?

JAY
I absolutely loved it. I got you
some shirts and stuff.

CINDY
Cool thanks! When you said you
were going Moldova, I'm like where
the hell is that. I asked Devori
and she didn't know either.

JAY
I got some pictures, but I need
help getting them downloaded.

CINDY
I can do that. Bring the cell
phone over here and I can do this
later today because I'm kind of
busy.

JAY
No problem. Thanks.

CINDY
Let's go to the Frosty Gator
sometime. I want to know all
about your trip.

JAY
Sounds good. I've got to go but
I'll see both of you in awile.

KELLYN
Bye dad!

JAY
Bye!

85.

INT. CINDY'S HOUSE - DAY

Cindy is getting JAY's pictures downloaded. KELLYN is
playing with her rat.

CINDY
Kellyn! Look at your dad in these
pictures.

KELLYN
Yeah. That's Katya.

CINDY
Yeah. But look at your dad! Have
you EVER seen him this happy?

KELLYN
Wow! You're so right.

CINDY
Who is this woman?

INT. JAY'S PARENT'S HOUSE - DAY

LINDA
So did you go to Russia?

JAY
No. It was Moldova.

LINDA
Ok. Whatever. You can't be going
all over the place like this.

JAY
I know, but I got an e-mail from
the high school here and they want
to set up an interview. So I will
most likely have something that I
can stay here in Idaho Falls.

LINDA
I hope so. You can't go to
somewhere like Alaska. That's not
possible. And then you go to
Russia or wherever you went.

JAY
I know.

86.

EXT. FROSTY GATOR - OUTSIDE - DAY

JAY and CINDY are drinking beer outside the Frosty Gator.
WARREN comes over for a few minutes.

CINDY
So Jay, This Katya. She better
be good to you or I will kick her
ass! Isn't that right Warren.

WARREN
Yes.

CINDY
So, did you get laid?

JAY
No. We had an interpreter with
us. She can't be there in the bed
interpreting.

CINDY
She's interpreting while she's
going oh baby oh yeah!

WARREN
Give it to me, baby!

CINDY
Don't you have to go Warren?

WARREN
Yes I'm leaving.

WARREN gives CINDY a kiss and leaves.

JAY
The weird thing is I tried to see
her on the 13th of June, but she
was on vacation in Bulgaria until
the 22nd. So the first day we
could meet was my birthday on the
23rd.

CINDY
Yeah, and?

JAY
It just happened like that. And
when I was by chance at my hotel,
I met an American. I told him I
was meeting her on the 23rd. He
said that was his birthday. And
then I looked at his e-mail. Get
(MORE)

87.

JAY (cont'd)
this. We have the same last name!
I think these are signs. Oh and
the last four digits of her ID
number is 115 then 06,which is
June and 73, my birth month and
year.

CINDY
No. I think they're just
coincidences, Jay. I know they
are good coincidences but that's
all it is. I wouldn't put to much
faith in them.

JAY
I know, but it's just strange.

INT. IDAHO FALLS HIGH SCHOOL - PRINCIPAL OFFICE - DAY

JAY is in an interview with the high school principal.

RANDY
So, we had last year's German and
English teacher and she just had
to move because her sister got
cancer. We need a part-time
German teacher and a part-time
English teacher. We want you to
build the German program and the
other half we want you to be a
special ed aide.

JAY
Sure. I accept the position.

INT. JAY'S CLASSROOM - DAY

JAY
OK Klasse. Look at this phrase on
the board. Meine Freundin Katja
kauft ein Fahrrad. The verb to
buy "kaufen" is conjugated with
the t and there is an accusitive
article ein with no ending. The
other sentence is Anna und Katja
essen viel. Remember this and
tomorrow we will review for the
test. Brandon you need to stay
after class and talk to me.

88.

Mark walks in. There are several students retaking tests.

MARK
Can I retake a test?

JAY
Sure. Go sit down and I will find
the quiz.

JAY
Now Brandon. I'm talking to you
because I don't feel you are
respecting me when you talk all
the time.

BRANDON
Well it's the teaching I don't
agree with.

JAY
Look, I understand that your class
didn't have any grammar last year
and I'm just trying to get your
class to where you should be. But
I need your cooperation. I'm not
singling you out. I've been
talking to others as well.

MARK
Can I add something? I took
Spanish last year and I didn't do
well at all. Mr. Allen teaches
the material to where I can
understand it. You have to give
him a chance though.

JAY
Thanks, Mark. You can go now.
Let's improve Ok.

JAY is alone in the classroom. He looks up lyrics to Dima
Bilan and starts writing them down.

JAY
(to himself)
Etoi velshebnayu, barhatnye
nochyu. Ya nyeh mogu usnut shto
ti mashaet.

JAY leaves class.

89.

EXT. CAR - DAY

JAY and KELLYN are driving. JAY starts singing "Ya tebya
pomnyu" KELLYN has learned the song by now and also starts
singing.

JAY
(singing)
Etoi Valshebnayu

KELLYN
(singing)
Barhatnoi Nochyu

JAY AND KELLYN
(singing)
Ya nyeh mogu usnut, shto ti
mashaet. Moshyet sluchenaia,
Moshnet naroshna. Tolka tebya
apiyat ya spaminayu.

JAY
(singing)
V nebe zagorit sam novaya zvesda.
Yarki luc iyo sletit ka vie
ladony. E vasmoshna ti
pachustvuyesh tagda.

JAY AND KELLYN
(singing)
Ya tebya pomnyu. Ya tebya pomnyu.