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Devil Man
by John A Ortega (kain_40@sbcglobal.net)

Rated: R   Genre: Horror   User Review: ***
This is the first act of this film.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


Open to a mental hospital room.

The walls swim in a dingy white paint. Streaks of peeled
paint reveal the futile attempts at escape.

The lone window peers unto a busy downtown industrial
street. Grime blurs the view.

The room is simply decorated with a lone hospital bed with
the restraints lying on top. The bed sheets match the dingy
walls and lay unmade.

The florescent light flickers casting a slight strobe effect
over the room.

An air of evil looms in the room as Jack kneels in front of
an intricately painted cross praying.

The hair stands on his body as the intruding demon's
presence enters.
A child sits in front of a fire holding a bloody knife.

The child carves a cross in the dirt as he stares
trance-like at the flames with solid black eyes.

He turns his head.

He speaks one word.
Jack wakens from his trance...his room completely dark.

His breath steams as he breaths the frozen air in his room.

He stands and surveys his surroundings.

He takes small steps toward the door looking for the light

A light dripping noise echoes in the room.


I'm not afraid. The power of
Christ gives me strength over you!
The dripping gets louder the closer Jack gets to the door.
Show yourself!
The lights suddenly turn on revealing Benny, Jack's older
brother, with his hands and feet nailed to the door.

The dripping is his blood on the tiled floor.

His head is sliced in many cuts like he wore a crown of

His eyes have been violently cut from his head.

Jack recoils in fear.

Suddenly Benny looks up through his missing eyes and speaks
to Jack.
Look what you've done to me!
Jacky, why didn't you help me?
Look at me Jack.
Jack screams as he tries to force the image out of his mind.

He quickly kneels at the base of the painted cross and
begins the Lord's prayer in Aramaic.
Nethkadasch schmach
Tete malkuthach.
Nehwe tzevjanach aikana
d'bwaschmaja af b'arha.
Hawvlan lachma d'sunkanan jaomana.
Waschboklan chauben wachtahen
aikana daf chnan schwoken
Wela tachlan l'nesjuna
ela patzan min bischa.
Metol dilachie malkutha wahaila
wateschbuchta l'ahlam almin.


                       JACK (cont'd)
Dr. Johan Ackermann watches trough the door's barred window.
He scribbles on his note pad.
Always Aramaic...interesting.
      (To the class)
Class, today's subject proves the
most complex and interesting case
you will ever study. Today we take
a look at Jack Sanctus, a paranoid
schizophrenic who suffers from
delusions. As you can see, Jack
believes himself to be haunted by
demons. Notice the cross painted
on his wall and his continued
Dr. Ackermann.
Johan, please.
Johan, what exactly does Mr.
Sanctus see in his dellusions?
Spirits unholy, the death walker,
the tormentor of man, the light
bringer the dark one, in a
nutshell Jack speaks to the Devil.
The four students chuckle.
Please, Jack's delusions are very
real to him. It is unwise not to
respect the word of your patients.
Jack truly believes himself to be
the, "Saint of Deliverance."
"The Saint of Deliverance?"


Yes. I'm sure you all noticed that
Jack's last name quite literally
means Saint. Jack believes that
God chose him to deliver us from
      (Looks in the
Jack is Catholic.
Very good, Agustus. Yes, Jack is
Is that important?
Knowing as much about your
patients is always important, but
this fact is especially key to
understanding and ultimately
helping Jack.
Dr. Ackermann, what makes this
case so unique?
Does anyone know when Jack's
illness began?
Hasn't Mr. Sanctus been a patient
for a year now?
Yes, it says here in the file that
He suffered a mental breakdown
while on a pilgrimage in
Very good. Who here is familiar
with the Jerusalem Syndrome?
No one?


Isn't that where someone has a
metal breakdown while visiting the
Yes, exactly. Jack's break from
reality hit him when he visited
Jerusalem. Jack appears to be
suffering from Jerusalem Sydrom.
But doctor, doesn't Jerusalem
Syndrome remedy itself when the
patient is removed from Jerusalem?
Very good Agustus, yes. This is
the first ever long term case of
Jerusalem Syndrome. Jack has
absolutely no history of mental
illness anywhere in his family.
Which is exceptionally odd
considering that he is a type 3
How do we treat this case Doctor?
All of the usual methods failed,
meds, ECT, everything. Quite
frankly, I'm at a loss. Which
brings me to you. Maybe you four
can offer a fresh perspective.
Johan checks his watch.

The PA announces a phone call for Johan.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you will
excuse me for a moment. Keep an
eye on him.
      (Motions to Jack)
Be back shortly.
Johan walks down the hall to his office.

The four students peer into Jack's room.


Jack still kneels before the painting in prayer.

The dripping sound returns.

Jack opens his eyes.
The image of Jack's brother nailed to the door appears.

The blood trickles down from his wounds.
Close up of the dead's face.
Back to Jack.

He slowly stands to meet the gaze of his crucified brother
only to see that he is no longer there.

The only eyes he sees are those of he students observing.
You think you can torment me? You
have yet to understand what I am.
Jack removes his clothes revealing many scars covering his
Look at me. Look at what I've
done. The story is here. The
answers are here.
Jack suddenly falls to the ground on his knees and hands.

He begins to violently and unnaturally vomit blood.

Rabecca calls and runs for Dr. Johan.

Jack raises his head in defiance of the fit trying to take

Blood trickles from his nose and sweat pools around his


Benny and Jack exit an upper class home and walk to Benny's
1976 Camaro.

Benny is obviously drunk.
It's good to see you again Jacky.
I mean that...you need to come by
more often.
Benny, I was here last Saturday...
Yea, so twice in a year?
And the Saturday before that, and
every Saturday before that...You
need to slow down on the sauce
Benny drunkenly leans on his car and waves off Jack's
I know my limit.
Yea? What is it? A keg?
Don't lecture me, Jacky...I get
enough from Pop. And don't give me
the "Jesus can heal" crap! Save
your holier than thou
sanctimonious shit for some one
who's dumb enough to fall for it!
Jack takes a long look at the ground.

Benny realizes his error.
Look, I'm sorry. What the fuck do
I know?


No, it's alright brother. I'm out
of line here. It's your life. Who
am I to tell you how to live it?
I'm the one who's out of line.
You're right...I need to kick this
demon...can't seem to do it
though. What with Patricia leaving
me and the kids...I can't get a
grip on myself sometimes.
I know you're going through some
rough times. Just remember that
you aren't alone. I'm only a few
blocks away...anytime you need
Thanks Jacky...You've always been
there for me...But...I better get
home...long day tomorrow.
Benny takes a few steps toward the driver's seat and

Jack grabs him and stands him upright.

Jack walks him to his seat.
Maybe you better let me take you
No...I'll be fine...only going
down the street a block or two.
Alright, but you better call me as
soon as you get in, alright?
Yes mother...
Okay, okay...scout's honor
Be careful.


Jack closes the driver's side door.

He turns around and is greeted by the dead form of Benny.

The demon grabs Jack and lifts him up toward his carved
This is what you've done to me!
This one is mine!
Jack screams and closes his eyes.

As suddenly as the demon appeared it is gone.
Jacky? You okay?
Jack opens his eyes and fearfully looks at Benny.
Benny, you have to get out of the
Come on Jacky...You're being
paranoid! See, no slurring...
Suddenly the car's front end smashes as if it hit a brick

Jack recoils in shock.

As Jack regains his bearings he inspects the car.

Benny's body sits bent and broken.

His left arm is severed, and his eyes are gone.

Jack surveys the scene.

Benny speaks to Jack.
Look at me!
Jack recoils in horror.


The car and Benny sit in the drive way untouched.

Benny looks at Jack with a confused look.
Jacky? You okay? You don't look so
Benny, you have to get out of the
We've been through this...I'm
going home.
At least let me get my beads and
bless you.
Bless me? Did I sneeze? Come on
Jacky...I'll call you when I get
home. Love you brother.
Benny drives off.

Jack watches as his brother rides off.
I love you too Benny.
Jack turns around to walk to the house.

The demon grabs him and spews blood all over him.
Not enough to save me!
Jack remains kneeling at the base of the door.

He slowly collects the blood in a plastic jar.

After collecting a jar's worth he dips his fore and middle
fingers in the crimson liquid and then draws a cross over
his heart.


Jack closes the plastic jar and hides it under his bed.

Johann enters the room with a few paramedics.
It's okay Doctor...I'm still
alive. Take more than that to rid
me of this world.
The medics attempt to check Jack.

Jack refuses their prodding.
Jack, these men are trying to help
you. Let them.
How can they help what they do not
understand? Get away from me! I
have no use for you. You are
wasting your time anyway. I won't
be here much longer.
Why not? Where are you going?
I must deliver these demons inside
of me so that they may be judged.
It's the only way to rid you of
Dr Johan shifts uncomfortably as his attempt to hide his
You still don't believe in me?
I believe what I see.
And what do you see, Doctor?
I see a man troubled by his


You see nothing! Delusions do not
trouble me, Doctor, Satan does. As
does he you. If you refuse to see
with you own eyes then look
through mine.
Jack holds his hand out for Johan to take.

Johan simply stares at Jack in a silent refusal to
accommodate him.
I cannot help you, Doctor.
That's interesting, Jack. I
thought I was here to help you.
Interesting indeed...You are.
I am what?
Here to help me. You just don't
know why or how.
Jack kneels before the painted cross and prays.

Johan tries to engage Jack further, but he meets a steadfast
Jack, this painting...Tell me
about it?
How did you come to obtain the
paint to make it?
Is an orderly providing the paint?
Jack, help me understand
Johan stands to exit as Jack finishes his prayer.
Many confuse this symbol as a
symbol of torture. It is in fact a
symbol of sacrifice.


In Christian mythology Jesus
sacrifices himself to save the
The demon Benny appears in the room. Only Jack can see him.
"Christian mythology"...Doctor,
just a few moments ago you
mentioned to your students that
they should not insult the
patient..."Respect the word of
your patient," I believe is what
you said.
He mocks you!
Who are you speaking to?
You wouldn't believe me.
You seem amazed that I know of
your mocking. Why?
I apologize, but I wasn't mocking
you, and these walls are sound
proof. How did you hear...
A man who hears with his ears
only, hears nothing.
I don't understand. You were lip
Until you open your mind you will
never understand me.
Now if you will excuse me Doctor.
Who is giving you the paint, Jack?


"Ask and it shall be given to you;
seek, and ye shall find; knock and
it shall be opened unto you: For
everyone that asketh, receiveth;
and he that seeketh findeth; and
to him that knocketh it shall be
Who are you asking?
"And all things, what so ever ye
shall ask in prayer, believing, ye
shall receive." You do well to
remember that Doctor, it will save
your life someday.
Perhaps I will...
Your ignorance will be the death
of you Doctor.
And what will be the death of you
I'm here to help, in any way that
I can.
I will hold you to that, Doctor.
One more thing Jack, the
scars...tell me about them.
      (Slightly annoyed)
To which scar do you refer?
      (Pints to Jack's
That one. What happened?
Man's greed happened. This one
comes from my father. Did I
mention that he was a priest?


You did.
Of course he became a priest after
he married and had children. My
biological father...
Why do you refer to him that way?
Doctor, your repeated
interruptions...annoy me.
I will do my best to stop.
See that you do.
You are awful demanding of me
Now that is funny. I sit in this
room requesting nothing from you
or your staff. I sit here quietly
with no need or want from you. You
on the other hand make repeated
visits, un-welcomed, and impose
upon me with your questions. And
you label me as demanding? I think
our time is up for today Doctor.
Jack kneels before the painting in prayer once again.

Johan realizes that he has lost any conversation with Jack.

Johan closes his notes and exits the room.
Outside of Jack's apartment.

Kimberly parks her early 2007 Mustang in a small driveway

She exits and grabs a few bags of groceries.

The bags are cumbersome.


She has difficulty carrying them and closing her car door.

A stranger walks up behind her and catches a bag as it
      (Takes bag)
Let me help you with that.
He waits for no response as he walks to her door.

Kim follows.
      (Fidgeting with
       her keys)
Thanks. I've got it from here.
Let me at least help you in. You
have your hands full.
Alright, thanks.
      (Opens door)
You can set them next to the door.
Nonsense! Your kitchen is right
there. I promise I won't hurt
you...not like I'm on of those
      (Less reluctant)
Oh, alright. Thanks for the help.
She pushes the door open.

Her bag tips over and spills its contents.

Fruit falls to the floor and into the walk way.
Oh shit!


      (Sets bag down)
I'll get it. You go on and get
your milk n the fridge. Go on.
Okay. Thanks again. I'm such a
klutz. I can't believe the day
I've had. First I'm late for an
audition. Then my car gets a flat.
And now I'm fruiting the entire
complex! How can today get any
      (Gathering fruit)
You know, my mother always told me
to never ask that question because
God always answers.
He brings the spilled bag into the apartment.

We see Kim removing her shoes revealing her sexy legs in the

Mitt turns and closes the door with a look of evil intent on
his face.
Jack writes "fool" in the grime and filth on the floor.

The demon in Benny's form hovers over Jack smiling.

The light illuminates the scars running from is wrists to
his elbows.

The sweat drips from his forehead smearing the word.

The door's lock turns.

The chains rattle as they release the sentinel.

The crashing sound of the tumbler moving causes Jack to wipe
away the grime concealing his note.

Jack picks up a small notepad and pencil.

He scribbles away.

Augustus enters with Jack's lunch.


He places the tray on the bed next to Jack.
      (Focused on the
Where's Bob?
Gone man.
Look, I'm not supposed to talk to
you, but I gotta ask you
      (To Jack)
He wants to know.
You want to know if I'm crazy.
No, not like that man. I mean...do
      (Lightly picking
       at the food)
Do I what?
You know...see demons, man.
There it is, huh? As simple as
that, is it? What do you think?
I don't know man. I want to
believe you.
Do you?
      (Standing behind
He mocks you! He doesn't want to
believe. This is a rudimentary
tool used by those in his


      (to Benny)
I don't recall asking you
      (Nervous glance
       behind him.)
Who are you talking to, man?
I'm addressing the demon in this
There's no one there, man. It's
just us.
I thought you wanted to believe?
Demons exist my young apprentice.
Don't listen with your eyes, and
certainly not to what they tell
you. You cannot experience what I
do unless you see as I see.
      (extends hand)
Take it, and I will show you.
Agustus's hand extends.

The tumbler cracks again.

Johan enters.
Agustus, what are you doing in
Agustus looks at the doctor with no real answer.
Delivering my food, or at least,
this tray of what this hospital
calls food. You really should hire
a chef with a true definition of
Johan looks at Jack and then the tray.

He smiles at Jack's attempt at humor.


Alright Jack. Agustus, you have
work in the lab. See to it.
Agustus walks to the door.
      (to Agustus)
To be continued.
Agustus makes a slight good-bye gesture at Jack and exits.

Johan coses the door.
Not corrupting my students are you
You corrupt the minds of these
people with your methods and
disbelief. I merely attempt to
open their vision to see the world
for what it is.
And what is that Jack, a world
full of ghosts and goblins?
Yes. But not in the sarcastic
sense you mean. This world fills
itself with endeavors of the
flesh. You yourself pride yourself
on your monetary possessions. You
surround yourself with material
things that have little real
importance. Your BMWs, Rolexes and
palaces attempt to fill the void
inside of you. Your life lacks
meaning, and you look down at me?
I am what you wish you could be. I
have purpose and vision. What is
your true, God-given, purpose? Do
you believe in God? Do you believe
in anything?
      (slight pause)
I didn't think so. You can't help
me yet.


      (Angerly walks to
       the door)
Eat your food, Jack.
Johan opens the door.

Jack throws his tray in the hall way.

Startled, Johan looks back.
Starve then.
Johan slams the door.
Jack sits in the corner hidden from the door.

He stares at the wiped message of "fool."

The demon form of Benny sits opposite of Jack.

Benny stares with an evil grin.

The tumbler on the door cracks as Johan enters.
Good morning Jack.
I see you still aren't sleeping.
Perhaps some food from our second
rate cafeteria?
Jack breaks his stare and chuckles at the Doctor's joke.
That wasn't so hard, was it?
You tell me.
Now Jack, let's try and keep this
civil. We have a difficult day
ahead of us.
He has no idea...


I want to talk to you about the
reason why you are here.
Isn't it because I see, "Ghosts
and goblins," doctor?
I was out of line yesterday. I
apologize. But that's not what I
meant. I want to talk to you about
your neighbor.
I was a fool...
Jack picks up trash and stray weeds in the grass before his

The door directly across and one story up opens

Kim exits wearing a body contoured jogging suit.

Her figure curves from head to toe.
Hello. Off for a run?
Yea. It's tough keeping this
looking good.
I'm sure it is.
      (Awkward silence)
Well...I best leave you to it


                       JACK (cont'd)
Kim gives him a knowing nod, smiles, and descends the
Yea. See you around.
Kim slowly jogs off.
Good day...
All too easy.
Johan gives Jack a confused look.
Who's here with you Jack?
The same. He's always here...never
Why don't we try and focus on the
events that brought you here?
The events...you mean what you
have written on your paper. The
authorities have their own version
of what happened. Are you really
interested in hearing mine? Or are
you here to convince me that what
you have is the truth? Because if
it's the latter, then you are
wasting my time.
You will fail, Jacky. You yourself
still don't understand.


Tell me what happened, Jack.
She was attacked...
Jack continues his story.

Mitt closes the door to Kim's apartment.

Jack exits his apartment apparently off to work.

Sounds of a struggle reach his ears.

Jack stops and listens for other indications of the

The blood curling screams jar Jack into action.

He quickly runs to Kim's door and tries to open it.

The door refuses to allow Jack's entry.

He rams his shoulder into the door, but the sentry refuses
Jack's advances.

Suddenly the demon form of Benny appears in the window next
to the door.

Blood begins to trickle down from his crotch slowly gaining

Soon the blood runs like a river from his stomach.

Jack kicks in the glass and enters.

He runs toward the source of the screams.

When Jack enters Kim's bedroom, Mitt lays on top forcing
himself on to Kim.

Kim's resistance is all but gone as her clothes lay ripped
from her body; her eyes swollen from the violence Mitt
struck upon her.

Jack quickly tackles the shocked Mitt.

Jack continues his assault on Mitt.

Jack drags him to the door.


Jack unlatches the door.

He throws the half naked Mitt down the stairs.
Leave. Now!
Mitt pulls his pants up and slowly crawls away.

His broken leg hinders his movement.

Jack closes the door.

He turns to see Kim standing in the hallway.

Tears flow from her eyes as the shock sets in.

She trembles slightly as Jack advances toward her.

Jack stops in respect to her apprehension.
Easy. I'm not here to hurt you.
I'm a friend. Please...
Kim stands frozen as Jack slowly walks to her.

She does not seem to notice Jack's presence as he gently
takes her arms.

Suddenly, as if awakened from a trance, she screams in

Jack grabs a hold of her in a caring embrace.

He strokes her back in a comforting way.

Kim sobs uncontrollably in Jack's arms.
It's alright. It's over, it's
over. Easy now. Can you walk?
Let's sit you down in the kitchen.
Jack carefully leads Kim to a chair in the kitchen.

He helps her to sit.

Jack grabs her blanket from the couch.

After gently wrapping her up, Jack grabs a wash cloth and
attempts to clean Kim up.


Jack soaks the cloth and blots softly at Kim's face.

The wounds throb in pain as Jack touches them causing Kim to
      (Places cloth on
       her face.)
Hold this here. I'll get you some
Jack collects the groceries littering the floor and places
them neatly on the counter.

He finds a plastic bag, fills it with ice, and then applies
it to Kim's swelling eye.

Kim's tears flow as she grimaces from the burning sensation
the ice causes.
Easy. This will help with the
      (Kim does not
We should get you to the hospital.
Kim grabs Jack's hand and looks in his eyes.

Her soft brown eyes beg Jack to stay.
Alright. Alright.
Kim takes a few looks at herself sitting there.

She grabs the throw and covers her naked body tighter.
Let me get you some clothes.
Jack stands and Kim grabs his arm.

She looks at him pleading him to stay.
I'll be right back. I'm not going


Jack offers a slight smile as Kim releases her hold.

Jack walks to her bedroom and locates her closet.

Jack grabs a conservative pair of gym pants, a t-shirt, some
under garments, and gives them to Kim.
Should I walk you to the bathroom?
Kim does not respond.

Her trance has retaken its hold over her.

Jack slowly removes the towel covering Kim.

He gently dresses her with her bra.

Kim surrenders her limbs as Jack covers her torso with the
bra and shirt.

Jack then helps Kim into her panties.

She places one foot at a time in as he raises them to
restore her safety.

Once her womanhood is properly covered, Kim looks at Jack.
This was all my fault.
      (She weeps
I know that's what you think.
Now why would you think that? You
cannot blame yourself for the
actions of others.
      (Slight laugh)
Do you always talk like that?
Like what?
So proper.
Does it bother you?


      (With a hint of
No! I like it...makes you seem
more sophisticated.
Then I shall continue.
Are you sure you're alright?
I'm okay...really. I look like
No, you look beautiful.
Well...except for the bruises.
Yea...I'm sure it will make for
great head shots. Goddamn it.
What am I going to do now?
Hey, hey. This will heal. In a few
weeks this will all be but a
memory, a haunting memory, but
gone none the less.
I apologize. I'm not much comfort.
You're fine. It's me
really...Let's not do that, "no
it's me" thing.
Kim gets up and begins to put her groceries away.
Would you like for me to do that?
Thank you, but I need to do
something. I can't sit here and
dwell on...well, dwell.


Jack stands and his body painfully reminds him of the
struggle. Jack grimaces as his arms protest movement.
You better let me take a look at
you. Are you alright?
I'm fine.
Jack tries to raise his arm, but the pain stops him.

Kim walks to him.
Come on, let me take a look at
      (Jack hesitates)
Come on! Take your shirt off. It's
only fair...you've seen me naked.
The least you can do is take your
shirt off.
Fair point.
I'm only kidding, Jack.
Jack relaxes and chuckles at the obvious joke.

He removes his shirt revealing several scars on his well
toned torso.
      (Observes his
Oh my...what happened?
You would not believe me if I told
The demon form of Benny appears suddenly.
You'd be surprised.


      (To Benny)
What are you doing?
      (Caressing his
I'm sorry. I'm only curious.
Jack stands frozen in a matched gaze from the demon Benny.

Kim continues her caressing.

Her face and mouth creep ever so slowly to Jack's scars.

She begins to kiss them gently.

Jack snaps from his gaze to address Kim.

She returns his questioning look with a seductive smile.

Jack looks back to find Benny's absence.

Kim grabs his face and directs it back to hers.

She kisses him passionately.
      (Notices Jack's
There's no one here but us. It's
Kim takes Jack's hand and places it on her clothed breast.

She helps direct his hand to caress and squeeze her wanting

She then directs his hand to her firm backside.

Again, she directs him to squeeze.

She begins kissing Jack's neck working her way to his lips.

Jack's reluctance fades as Kim locks his lips in another
passionate kiss.

Jack's hands begin to work her body.

The two continue in passion to explore each other.

Kim's lock releases so that she may work his neck again.


As she kisses Jack's neck she playfully bites.
      (With Benny's
       demonic voice)
All too easy...
Jack's eyes open in shock as Kim's form turns grotesque.

Her mangled face reveals her decaying teeth as she rips the
flesh from Jack's neck.
Jack sits staring at the clumsily wiped "fool" write in the

Johan waits for more of Jacks story.

Benny sits laughing.
I was a fool.
What happened after that, Jack?
Does it matter?
Does it matter? Yes, Jack. Your
perception of the events matter a
great deal.
My perception of the events...you
still do not understand, Doctor.
What I don't understand is how you
went from saving an alleged rape
victim, no one matching your
description of the rapist was ever
found or seen anywhere near that
apartment by the way...


How well did the authorities look,
How did you go from "saving" this
young woman to killing her?
                                         END ACT ONE
Agustus sits with Jeff and Jackie.

Sounds of computer keys clicking echo against the tiled

The face of the wall clock ticks the seconds away.

A faint dripping of water interweaves with the ticking.

Jackie looks over her notes.
Guys, I'm not convinced Jack has
Jerusalem Syndrome. He shows
absolutely no other symptoms.
Come off it! You're saying that he
just happened to visit Jerusalem
and had a psychotic breakdown.
This is all some unusual
      (Points to her
Look. These are the recorded cases
of Jerusalem Syndrome. This man
believed himself to be Samson.
Several women thought they were
the Virgin Mary. Loads more walked
the streets looking to baptize
people because they thought they
were John the Baptist.
And our Mr. Sanctus thinks he sees
demons. What's your point?


      (Taking Jackie's
None of the other confirmed cases
deal with demons.
Exactly! Also, 80% of these cases
can easily be attributed to some
other mental illness. "Sampson"
was a paranoid schizophrenic.
Isn't that what Jack is?
Maybe at the core. He doesn't
think so, and I don't think Dr.
Ackermann thinks so either.
Look here. This also says that the
majority of people affected tend
to emulate figures of the Bible
depending on his or her religious
So? Jack is Catholic...he fits
into this category. And the
argument can be made that he is
emulating the character in the
parable of the demon possessed
Not quite. The demon possessed man
didn't seek out demons. He just
happened to be cursed. Jesus saw
him and cast the demons into a
      (genuienly engaged)
A Messiah complex then?
No. He doesn't think that he is


But he does believe that he can
heal and cure people of their
And that painted cross in his
What about it?
Why is it there? What's its
Nothing he does lacks reason.
Well, reason in his mind. Jack
always seems to have a master
So, you're saying that the cross
is for his crucifixion?
I don't know, maybe.
This is fucking weird, man.
JACK sits on the ground, staring off into space. JOHAN sits
perched in a chair directly opposite of Jack. The demon form
of BENNY kneels above Jack on the dingy bed. Drops of blood
trickle down his mouth.
      (No response)
Yes, doctor?
Can you tell me how this woman


Better yet, tell him how you
fantasied about fucking her.
Yes, but you won't believe me.
There is only one way to find out.
You longed to be inside of
her...healing her with every
The woman in apartment 237 died
before I met her.
Jack, the evidence points to you
killing her.
No, you don't understand. Kim was
very much alive...physically, but
her soul died years ago. Be it
from abuse, neglect, or choice she
died well before I met her. She
was a predator, Doctor.
Oh please. Spare us the
victim-of-abuse bit.
Interesting, Jack.
What's interesting is your lack of
understanding. All of this
education for naught.
I'm sorry, Jack. I'll try and
listen with an open mind.
Thank you.
Kim wasn't herself anymore. She
was afflicted by the very demon
sitting in this room now.


If you only knew...
Legion, as he likes to call
himself, murdered her long ago.
She served him as a puppet. I
meant to...save her. Her
Jack, no one was found. No one
with a broken leg, or any injury,
matching the description you
provided ever surfaced. Will you
at least acknowledge that?
In the interest of saving time,
yes, I will concede that no one
matching the description was ever
found. May I continue?
I will not interrupt again.
All will be forgiven, Doctor.
Kim, as beautiful as she was, had
a soul more foul than most. She's
been the unfortunate cause of many
men's demise. Though, she is not
entirely to blame. She was the
unfortunate victim of the Dark
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
She chose her path, though she
didn't understand the consequences
of her choice. Satan can be
devilishly tricky that way. She
was offered a choice...everlasting
beauty proved the most dangerous
of temptations for my lovely
neighbor. She unwillingly used her
beauty to lure in men. Promiscuity
brings risk.


Yes, I see that the autopsy report
found her to be HIV positive.
Among other things.
Among others.
What's your point, Jack? You said
the demon in this room murdered
her, but then you said that she
did this to herself...where's the
ownership? More importantly, how
did you get mixed in?
We all have a debt to pay. All of
us. Our choices, our decisions,
our indecision, left, right, up,
down, forwards, or back. All of it
comes with consequence. Some
vibrant and wondrous consequences;
bringing joy to others. Fostering
the innocent joy of a child...
And the other...dark and terrible
things that we cause. The raping
of the natural world, taking life
from that child. All of it. All of
it comes with cost. You look at me
and see a violently insane person.
What you don't see, are the many
sacrifices I've made to better my
fellow brothers and sisters. I do
it, not for your recognition, but
because I heed a calling far
greater than you will ever
understand. Not because you can't,
but because you won't. You refuse
to see that your actions cause
your strife.
And what stri...
Your son rapes and murders young
women, your daughter steals from
those she pretends to help, and
your wife has seen more of your


                       JACK (cont'd)
neighbor than she has of you.
That's enough!
Oh, this is good, Jack.
      (to Legion)
How dare you bring my family into
this? You don't have the slightest
clue as to what you're talking


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From TIM SMITH Date 12/30/2012 ***
Quickly, just a few comments, on page 6 when the student falls and vomits blood, the other student goes for the "doctor" isnt she/they doctors as well? should she/they be able to handle a minor situation like vomiting? on page 9, the man says he will be alright, that it would take more than that to "rid him of this world" the world being much bigger, it may play better if he said, the world would have to try harder "to git rid of me", no harm intended, thanks

From John Bradley Date 11/24/2012 **1/2
So you do have some very good descriptions. The things that you need to work on are the technical stuff, which is the most important. Break up your direction. At one point I counted 19 straight lines of direction! That's a no-no. Optimally you will want 3 lines then a new paragraph. 4-5 at a time isn't bad, but remember white space is your friend. You did not do proper character introductions. There are also several words that are frowned upon when used uneccessarilly. "Begins", "starts", and any uneccessary prepositions in general should be eliminated. Also when you have so many characters that start with the letter "J" that can give someone a headache keeping track, so unless there is a purposefull point to that, I would consider changing some of the names. Also don't overdue the sex scenes in description. But you are off to a good start.

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