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Our Love Eternal
by Jeremy Flair (silverhalo2426@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Drama   User Review: **
Just a short story. A piece of a much bigger puzzle.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


Over shot of bed. Two individuals are laying next to one
another. The man; JAY has his arm around the girl; LILY, and
he is gazing into her eyes shadowed by the moonlight.

The covers are mid way up there bodies. JAY's other arm is
gently caressing her side. LILY has both arms tucked under
the covers.
I do believe I can lay here all
night with you.
You gotta get some sleep Jay. You
got a big day tomorrow.
Yeah. A long day of treating you
with the presence of a loving man.
You got work tomorrow. There's so
much to get done around the office
if you know what I mean. Don't
waste any time on me silly.
Waste? Time I spend away from you
is a waste. Work can wait. It'll
be there when I'm good and ready
for it.
      (sitting up)
Don't be crazy Jay. We need this.
JAY sits up and turns the bedside table lamp on.
What are you talking about? "We
need this". In to which we are you
referring. You and I? 'Cause I do
believe I've squashed all Paul's
Paul is not the problem. Father is
the problem.


Hank! Are you serious? That old
man couldn't catch a cold.
He'll catch us Jay. I'm sure of
How can you be so sure Lil? I
closed that deal. The Feds are off
his tail and he got the tape. He
destroyed it.
And our only leverage along with
      (hanging his head)
I know. I know. I shouldn't have
trusted him.
      (lifting his head)
But like I said...he is NOT going
catch us. He is 81 years old. He
can't even find is own pecker.
And Paul?
      (laying back down)
Like you said. Paul is not the
LILY lays back down and puts her head on JAY's chest.

JAY turns the light back off. The moonlight cascades in.
      (playing with his
       chest hairs)
You're right baby. I should trust
you. Hank's gonna croak any time
now anyways.
Unless Paul offs him first. That
little prick is just the type to
burn his own family to make a
quick buck.
Suddenly a voice echoes through the room.


That's not very nice.
PAUL is sitting in a chair across the room next to the door.
He stands up and flicks the light switch on.
      (sitting straight
Paul? What the fuck are you doing
LILY sits up and holds the covers over her chest.

PAUL walks over to the window and peers out. He begins to
speak but does not look in the direction of the bed.
Tonight the moon is in a half
cycle. It's really beautiful you
know. The moon. When it's full,
it's just so...breathtaking.
      (turning around)
Almost as breathtaking as your
beautiful Lily here.
JAY immediately reaches into the bedside table drawer
looking for his gun. It's not there.

PAUL pulls JAY's gun from under his shirt.
      (shaking it at him)
Looking for this.
What do you want?
PAUL pulls the chair he was sitting in closer to the bed. He
sits down.
The same thing you want. Peace of
mind. Pussy. Money. Emphasis on
I don't have any money.
Aw come on Jay. We both know
that's a lie. You were good. Real
good. That's why we hired you. But
you've stolen from the wrong


                       PAUL (cont'd)
I didn't steal anything from you.
Funny thing. You see, you stole
from my pops...and his business.
My business.
Your business?
You were right Jason. I am the
type of prick that would burn my
family down to make a quick buck.
Or at least put cyanide in his
You crazy bastard. You murdered
your father.
Murder is such a vulgar,
unfriendly word. I'd say......
You're still crazy.
Maybe. Maybe. Point being I...
      (quotation marks
       with his fingers)
my father to steal his money. Sad,
but true. Only problem is...you
stole it first and now I want it
I don't have it.
What? You...uh...spent it all on
hookers and blow? Who are you?
Nick Nolte?


I never took it. I chickened out.
I couldn't steal from him.
Couldn't face myself.
Bullshit. I know you took it. I
also know it's in a safety deposit
box at Bank One on the corner of
7th & Crescent. I just want the
JAY looks terrified as he knows PAUL is right. He looks
around the room trying to figure out the situation and his
next move.
Don't look so horrified. You look
like someone videotaped you
selling meth to the niggers. Oh
wait. No. That couldn't be you.
You were the one videotaping.
It's not how it sounds.
Oh save it. After you jumped ship
my father came clean on
everything. He told me how he was
going to break his truce with the
Mexicans and sell to the niggers.
I was his fall guy. His own
fucking son.
      (pointing the gun
       at JAY)
And his laundry service; YOU,
would become his second in command
and take over the business when he
retired. Throw me to the wind I
guess and the Feds.
I gave him the tape to destroy.
Oh yeah he destroyed it all right.
If by destroy you mean hand over
to the Feds then yeah he destroyed


      (hangs his head)
Stupid old man.
My point exactly. Now where's the
How do you know about the key?
Someone in this room is a little
tweety bird. Sang all the way
here. Via text message of course.
JAY turns immediately at LILY. His face is steaming with
      (throwing a pillow
       at PAUL)
You bastard!
Now now. Do not throw things at
the guy with the gun. It could go
off and we wouldn't want Jay's
precious brains all over the walls
now would we. Who would clean it
up? Not me. Not I said the brown
Shut the fuck up Paul!
      (to LILY)
Is this true?
LILY starts to cry. She lifts the pillow up to her face
burying her tears in the soft goodness.

He looks at PAUL with extreme hatred.
I'll let you lovers quarrel for a
PAUL begins to chew on his fingernails eagerly waiting for
the explosion but it doesn't happen.
      (rubbing her back)
You did what you had to. Right?


Without raising her head from the pillow sanctuary, LILY
You thought we'd be safer without
the money. You thought if Paul
took it back, then he'd be out of
our lives and all the shit that
comes with it. Right?
LILY nods again.

PAUL is getting annoyed.
I forgive you. Our love is
stronger than this.
      (standing up)
Enough of this soap opera
PAUL raises the gun and shoots LILY in the head. Her body
lurches forward finally coming to rest in Indian style with
her head on the pillow that was in her lap.

JAY jumps back in horror.
What the fuck?!!!!!!!!!!!
      (pointing the gun
       at JAY)
Where's the fucking key? I'm done
playing this game with you.
You shot your sister you sick
STEP sister. And I murdered my
father. Burn the family. Blah blah
blah. We've been over this. I'm
tired Jay. I just want my money.
      (breathing heavy)
Okay. Okay. Jesus. Calm down. I'll
get the key. Just calm down. Fuck.


JAY slowly moves over to LILY's body. He gently lifts her
head off the pillow and removes a necklace she's been
wearing. It's a locket. He places her head back on the
I'm so sorry Lil. I'm so sorry.
Hurry up asshole.
I am! Jesus fuck. Calm down Paul.
JAY opens the locket and retrieves the key that's inside. He
holds it out for PAUL to grab.

PAUL inches forward keeping the gun on JAY. He reaches the
outstretched hand of JAY and takes the key.
Nice doin' business with you
PAUL backs up towards the door slowly. Once he reaches his
destination he lowers one hand off the gun to open the door
but remains locked on JAY. He opens the door and backs out.
Later brotha.
After PAUL's disappeared out of frame JAY bolts over to the
dresser on the far wall. He opens the top drawer and pulls
out a cell phone. He begins to dial frantically.
      (putting the phone
       up to his ear)
Come on. Come on. Pick up. Pick
up! Shit....Yes. Hello? Tyrone.
'Sup man. I got a present for you.
You know that little faggot son of
Hanks? Yeah, Paul. I know where
you can find him. Yes. I know
exactly where he'll be.
      (he pauses and
       looks over at
       LILY's lifeless
...and when you get there, there's
2 million dollars in a safety
deposit box. He has the key. Box
number 19. It's yours but I am
free and clear of your debt.


                       JAY (cont'd)
Hank's mistakes do not filter down
onto me. For that amount of money
you should be able to get out of
your situation. No problem. I
understand. And T...? Make him
JAY hangs the phone up and drops it on the floor. He stares
ahead into the mirror on the dresser. A million emotions
cross his face.

Suddenly, the sounds of sirens fill his emptiness and snaps
back to reality.

He kneels down and opens the bottom drawer. He pushes aside
some boxer shorts and retrieves another pistol. He grabs the
clip from next to it and slides it in. He cocks the slide
back and looks down the barrel.

He once again peers into the mirror and takes a deep breath.

He turns around and walks over to LILY's body. He lays her
back, face up and puts the pillow under her head. He leans
in close and kisses her forehead. He closes her eyes.

He walks around to the other side of the bed and sits down
collecting his thoughts.

He lies down next to her, grabs one of her hands in his. He
looks her right in her soulless eyes.
Our love eternal. I love you Lily.
I'm coming home.
JAY puts the gun in his mouth and closes his eyes.
                                         BLACK OUT


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From Nick Hanks Date 1/28/2013 **
Ok Ok, there are some things I liked and some things I didn't like so much. I like how you revealed the story through a nice balance of dialogue and action, this script really clipped along, you allowed me to form the pictures in my mind very nicely, I was very impressed by that. What I didn't like was the cliche'd dialogue in some parts, some things were meant to sound cool and they sounded corny and played. But yeah, I really am kind of split on this one, rework it and get rid of the unecessary phrases and remember the old addage, "actions speak louder than words". Thanks.

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