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It's Impossible
by Brett (golfnotom@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

An overweight teenager attempts to find the girl of his dreams.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. MR FIELD'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Over twenty high school age kids sit at their desks, while
listening to Mr. FIELDS give a lecture. Half of them sleep
while the other half try to fall asleep. BRAD SCHROEDER sits
in front, next to JESSICA MCKNIGHT.
                                                            
Brad is fifteen and extremely homily. He's a little chunky
and acts like he has no confidence in himself whatsoever.
                                                            
Jessica is an extreme ten on the babe scale. She is very
confident and also extremely snooty.
                                                            
Mr. Fields is around fifty and always wears shorts and a
polo.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
It was in that classroom that I
learned there really is no such
thing as luck.
                                                            
Brad stares at Jessica with bold intent. He nervously leans
toward her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to Jessica)
Can I borrow a pencil?
                                                            
Jessica glances at Brad with her enchanting eyes.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (seductively)
Only if, you poke your eye out
with it. So that you can never
look at me again.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (leaning back in
       his chair)
Point well taken.
                                                            
Jessica full of disgust, rolls her eyes at Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
That's when I learned about fate.
Fate is the inevitable equation.
The ugly guy will never end up
with the hot girl. It's just
impossible. Now that is something,
I would like to change.
                                                            

2.

Bell rings.
                                                            
                       MR. FIELDS
Okay kids, read chapters four and
five tonight.
                                                            
Everyone rushes out of the classroom.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
As if he's not there, dozens of kids walk around, in front
of and nearly through Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
Lunch time. For most kids, it
means time with friends. For me,
it meant nothing, cause I didn't
have any. I was new in town, but
three weeks had gone by and no one
even noticed me.
                                                            
CAFETERIA
                                                            
Hundreds of kids sit at tables all over the large cafeteria.
Brad stands still and takes it all in.
                                                            
Two dozen football players suddenly run through Brad.
                                                            
Every player ignores him as they push him over. BO VICE
turns around and notices Brad lying on the ground. Bo would
definitely be described as a hunk by all girls. He has blond
hair and is very buff. Just like Brad, he is too a
sophomore.
                                                            
                       BO
      (laughing at Brad)
What a loser!
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
Now most kids would have hated
this moment, but not me. This
incident blessed me with an
opportunity. The opportunity to
see God's greatest creation.
Michelle Watson!
                                                            
MICHELLE WATSON, strolls her perfect body toward Brad. She
is beyond exquisitely beautiful. She has long blond hair and
a smile that could light up an entire city.
                                                            

3.

                       BRAD (V.O)
      (referring to
       Michelle)
Her very presence gave me goose
bumps. But more importantly, she
noticed me and the fact that for
one second in time, she was
fixated on my existence.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (to Brad)
Are you okay?
                                                            
Jessica struts up to Michelle.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (snooty)
Michelle, don't waste your time
with that loser. Come on, let's
go.
                                                            
Michelle wanders away with Jessica.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
As pathetic as it sounds, up to
that that point, that moment in
time was the pinnacle of my life.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONT OF SCHROEDER HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Brad's house is modest, but large. It has two stories and a
deep driveway with a two car garage at the end.
                                                            
Brad walks up his driveway while next door, WILLOW ROWE
plays basketball in front of his house. Willow is Brad's
age, but much more attractive. He tries to act like a
gangster but struggles to pull it off with his white
nerdiness.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
I find it ironic that on the very
same day I met Michelle, I met
Willow.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to Brad)
Yo kid. You wanna play a round of
horse?
                                                            
Brad looks around and points at himself.
                                                            

4.

                       BRAD
Who, me?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yeah, who the hell else fool?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I don't know. I guess I could
play.
                                                            
Brad drops his backpack and walks over to Willow.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Player, what's your association?
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Fool, what's your name?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh, Brad. What's yours?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
My name is William Rowe, but my
street name is Willow, bitch.
                                                            
Brad nervously steps away from Willow.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What did I do?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (confused)
What?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well you called me a bitch, so I
just assumed I pissed you off.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Player you got to relax. Like a
gangster.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You're not a gangster.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Whoa player, who you foolin'?
                                                            

5.

                       BRAD
Why are you talking like you're
black?
                                                            
Willow struggles to pit out his words.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
You racist white nerd.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You do realize you just insulted
your home boys, don't you?
                                                            
Willow starts walking in circles rapping.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
You do realize I'm black, so don't
start talking smack, because I
don't give a crap.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You also know that smack and crap
don't rhyme, don't you?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yeah, sorta. I mean, you gonna
play basketball or talk shit to me
on my hood?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, I think it's time I release
my inner Michael Ruffin.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Who the hell is Michael Ruffin?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Only the best basketball player in
the ever.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Whatever, just shoot the ball.
                                                            
Brad throws basketball at the hoop, but misses terribly.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Practice shot, right?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Player, player. Let me teach you
technique. Number one, don't aim
for the hoop.
                                                            

6.

Willow picks up the basketball.
                                                            
                       WILLOW (CONT'D)
You got to aim for the square
above the hoop. You also have to
hold it right. Let it rest on the
palm of your right hand, while
your left hand embraces the side
of the ball.
                                                            
Willow shoots it and the ball goes in the basket.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Works every time.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Good job.
                                                            
Willow tosses Brad the basketball.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Now you try it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Here goes nothing.
                                                            
Brad incorrectly shoots the ball, causing it to bounce off
the basket.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Try it again. Only this time
picture the ball going into the
hoop.
                                                            
Brad throws the ball at the basket and makes it in.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Good job.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That was awesome!
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Just keep practicing and you'll
get it in every time.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's what she said.
                                                            
Brad and Willow laugh as they each try to make a basket.
                                                            

7.

                       BRAD
So, are you on the basketball
team?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (disappointed)
No, not this year. I tore my ACL.
You should be the Basketball
Manager though.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You tore your ACLU. I bet the
Conservatives are happy.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (annoyed)
No, I tore my ACL. Gosh, you're
weird.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Do you really think I should be
the Basketball Manager?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yeah, tomorrow just go to Mr.
Jaymac's room. He's the coach.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (disgusted)
I wont have to touch the jock
straps or bathe the players, will
I?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No, nothing like that. You'll just
have to get them water and shit.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sounds good. I'll go see Mr.
Jaymac tomorrow then.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Just make sure you don't practice
with them. And if you do, don't
tell them I sent you.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's okay, I could probably kick
their asses anyway. I wouldn't
want to steal their thunder or
anything.
                                                            
Willow rolls his eyes.
                                                            

8.

                       WILLOW
Yeah, sure.
                                                            
 
INT. MR. CROCKETT'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Around thirty students are sitting at their desks while Mr.
CROCKETT walks over to the board. Brad is sitting beside
Willow. Mr. Crockett is in his early thirties. He dresses as
a business man and acts like the President of the United
States. His presence alone commands your attention and
screams power.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
To make sure you understand the
Normandy invasion better, I'm
gonna draw a diagram.
                                                            
Mr. Crockett begins drawing on the white board.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (whispering to
       Willow)
So have you ever had sex before?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Fool, what the hell kind of
question is that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I was just wondering. You don't
have to make it look like I'm a
freak or something.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
It was just a stupid question
because I like, did it, ten
minutes ago.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (shocked)
Right before class?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Well, I can't do it during class.
It would be too much of a
distraction for my fellow
students.
                                                            
Willow looks at the board.
                                                            

9.

                       MR. CROCKETT
      (pointing at board)
So, this is Utah beach and this is
Juno beach.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (whispering to
       Willow)
When will you have it next?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
How am I supposed to know?
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Willow, Brad. Are you guys paying
attention?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Well we ain't paying money to hear
this shit.
                                                            
Class breaks out into laughter.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Willow that wasn't appropriate and
it was disrespectful.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (whispering)
Willow.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (annoyed)
What?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Can I watch next time you do it?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (grossed out)
No, sick.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Can anybody tell me what the other
three beaches were named?
                                                            
RODGRASS raises his hand. Rodgrass has red hair and is
wearing a suit. His appearance indicates intelligence and
arrogance.
                                                            

10.

                       MR. CROCKETT (CONT'D)
      (pointing at
       Rodgrass)
Yes, Rodgrass.
                                                            
                       RODGASS
The beaches were as follows. Gold,
Omaha and Sword.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I'll tell you what the other
bitches were named. Your mom, my
ex and Marylin freaking Manson.
                                                            
The class bursts out in laughter.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
      (serious)
Willow, that's not one damn bit
funny.
                                                            
Michelle Watson strolls into the classroom.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
There she was. A goddess of beauty
and amazement, all in one body.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Michelle, what brings you to my
classroom?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
I have a note for a Brad
Schroeder.
                                                            
Michelle hands the note to Mr. Crockett and walks away. As
she rushes out of the room, Brad stares in amazement at her
every move.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
I was in absolute awe that she
said my name.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Brad, it is customary to walk up
to me and take the note.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Uh, yeah. Okay, that sounds great.
                                                            
Brad gets up.
                                                            

11.

                       WILLOW
You have serious issues man.
                                                            
Brad walks up to Mr. Crockett.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
They want you in the security
office.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Should I take my stuff?
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
It sounds like they'll keep you
there for a very long time.
                                                            
Brad picks his stuff up and walks toward the door of the
classroom.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Brad, if you need a cheap lawyer,
I might be able to hook you up.
                                                            
Brad walks out of the classroom with a worried look on his
face.
                                                            
 
INT. SECURITY ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mr. CALONE and Mr. BIST are sitting in two chairs in the
small security room. Mr. Bist is a little overweight and in
the process of eating taco bell. Mr. Calone is very buff and
short. He talks strange and makes weird facial expressions.
                                                            
Brad enters the security room.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Did you guys want me?
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
Have a seat.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (sitting down)
Did I do something wrong?
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
      (intimidating)
We're gonna ask you this just
once.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Ask me what?
                                                            

12.

                       MR. BIST
We got a tip you're selling pot.
Is that true?
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, of course not.
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
Don't give us that bullshit. We
hear lies like that all the time.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm not lying. Do I even look like
the kind of person who would sell
pot?
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
      (sarcastically)
Well that's not a stereotype
transgression or anything.
                                                            
Mr. Calone walks toward Brad.
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
Now, you've got one more chance.
Did you sell pot or not?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (defensively)
I've never even seen the green
stuff.
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
Then how the hell did you know it
was green?
                                                            
                       BRAD
The billboards and anti drug
commercials. Watch a Volkswagen go
by, chances are, you're gonna see
some pot.
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
So you've seen it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (firmly)
Yes, but I've never bought it. I'm
a Republican for heaven sakes.
                                                            
Mr. Bist and Mr. Calone lean toward Brad.
                                                            

13.

                       MR. BIST
      (hopeful)
Could you get it for us?
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
      (winking)
It'd be our little secret.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What?
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
You could get a finders fee.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Are you guys serious?
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
Do you know where we can get it?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Just look for a emo kid that's
obsessed with anime and listens to
heavy metal all the time.
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
We're afraid of those kids man.
Why do you think we're coming to
you?
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
Look kid. We're sick of being
sneaky. We've hid shit under our
coats so many times, it makes us
sick.
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
      (desperate)
We're sick of putting it in
brownies. All the preparation, all
the cooking.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (standing up)
You guys are nuts and I have to
go.
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
      (pleading)
Please, we're addicted. It's our
only escape from this never ending
hell called high school.
                                                            

14.

                       MR. BIST
It makes our day go by so much
faster.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm gonna go and pretend this
conversation never happened. By
the way, it should make your day
go slower. You may wanna check up
on that.
                                                            
Brad opens the door leading into the hallway and walks out.
                                                            
                       MR. CALONE
      (to Bist)
Maybe we're making it wrong.
                                                            
                       MR. BIST
You're just supposed to water the
plant, that's all. But, we could
be rolling the joints wrong.
                                                            
After Brad hears them, he shuts the door behind him.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to himself)
Freaks!
                                                            
 
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
                                                            
JOSH and RYAN are all sitting at a lunch table. Both Josh
and Ryan are average looking. They're both typical,
Caucasian teenagers. Brad and Willow walk up to the table
and sit down.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yo losers, this is Brad. He'll be
hanging with us from now on.
                                                            
                       RYAN
What's up Brad?
                                                            
Ryan makes a fist and puts it in front of him, so that it's
facing Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Are you gonna hit me?
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (confused)
What?
                                                            

15.

                       WILLOW
      (rolling his eye's)
You're supposed to hit his fist
with your fist.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Why?
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (making a fist)
It's a sign of love. Brotherly
love that is.
                                                            
Brad pounds Josh's fist.
                                                            
                       JOSH (CONT'D)
      (to Brad)
So, what's your nickname bro?
                                                            
Ryan takes his fist down with a depressed look on his face.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (unsure)
Brad, I guess.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No player, it's got to be like
your first name and last, like
Willow.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's your guy's nicknames?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Rybitt and Joengle.
                                                            
                       RYAN
But we never really use them
though.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I guess I don't need one than.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Your name will get the chicks all
by it's self.
                                                            
Ryan winks and smiles very distinctively.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sounds good.
                                                            
Brad shakes his upper lip.
                                                            

16.

                       WILLOW
      (curious)
What the hell was that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       JOSH
The lip thing you just did.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh, this.
                                                            
Brad shakes his upper lip again.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Yeah bro, what is that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh that's just my Elvis
impression.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Can you sing too?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, I guess.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (excited)
Do it for us.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (looking around)
Right now?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yeah dawg, go. Get your Elvis on.
                                                            
Brad stands up in front of the table. He sticks his arms out
and shakes his hips while shaking his upper lip.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (singing)
Well, since my baby left me!
                                                            
Brad shakes his hips and wiggles his whole body around.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (singing)
Well, since my baby left me
Well, I found a new place to dwell
Well, it's down at the end of
Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel
            (MORE)

17.

                       BRAD (cont'd)
Well, I'll be so lonely baby
Well, I'm so lonely
I'll be so lonely, I could die.
                                                            
Brad stops and looks around the cafeteria. Everyone in the
cafeteria is staring at him in silence.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Get on the table.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Get on the table and keep singing
dude.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (singing)
Now, the bell hop's tears keep
flowin'
And the desk clerk's dressed in
black
Well, they been so long on Lonely
Street
They'll never ever look back
And it's so

Well, it's so lonely baby
Well, they're so lonely
Well, they're so lonely, they
could've die


Well, if your baby leaves you
You got a tale to tell
Well, just take a walk down Lonely
Street
To Heartbreak Hotel

Where you will be
You'll be so lonely, baby
Well you'll be lonely
You'll be so lonely you could die
                                                            
After a few seconds applause breaks out. ALEX CORBET stands
up. Alex is around fifteen, he has shaggy hair and a rough
face. He looks like a typical bully.
                                                            
                       ALEX
I think it sucks!
                                                            

18.

The whole cafeteria is silent.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I think you suck.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (confused)
What?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Anything with balls.
                                                            
Everyone but Alex and Brad laugh.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (walking away)
I'm out of here.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Brad, do it again.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (quietly to Ryan)
I don't know man.
                                                            
                       CROWD
Elvis, Elvis, Elvis.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (under his breath)
I found my trademark.
                                                            
Brad does his Elvis impression again.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
From that moment on, I felt like a
person at that school. Not
necessarily an accepted person,
but someone who everyone wanted to
be entertained by. It gave me
enough happiness to continue the
crazy road of life, and endure to
the end of high school.
                                                            
 
INT. TEACHER'S LOUNGE - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Crockett walks into the lounge. Mr. Fields is sitting at
a table as he takes a pill bottle out of his pocket and
chugs five pills.
                                                            

19.

                       MR. CROCKETT
      (sitting down)
What are those?
                                                            
                       MR. FIELDS
Caffeine pills. The only way I can
deal with these little assholes.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Having trouble with the high
schoolers?
                                                            
                       MR. FIELDS
      (very bitter)
Every time they raise their hands,
I just want to cut their little
fingers off. Little bastards,
slimy, horny, puberty stricken
bastards.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
      (weirded out)
I think I'm gonna go back to my
classroom and eat.
                                                            
                       MR. FIELDS
Just remember, half of em, their
parents won't give a shit what you
do to them.
                                                            
Mr. Crockett gives Mr. Fields a thumbs up.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
I'll remember that.
                                                            
                       MR. FIELDS
Crockett, stay strong. The time
will come where we out number
them.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
Looking forward to it.
                                                            
Mr. Crockett slips out of the lounge with a scared look on
his face.
                                                            
                       MR. CROCKETT
      (to himself)
What a freak!
                                                            
 

20.

INT. MR. JAYMAC'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Brad walks into the classroom as Mr. JAYMAC sits at his
desk. He's in his late thirties. A former college basketball
star, he's both tall and arrogant. In his classroom there is
a poster of the film Tombstone, right next to a few
basketball trophies.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Excuse me, but are you Mr. Jaymac?
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
Who wants to know?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I do.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (abrasive)
Who are you?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm Brad, I was wondering if you
still needed a basketball manager.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (abrasive)
Do you think you have what it
takes?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, I guess so. I don't think it
takes too much to fill a water
bottle.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (standing up)
Oh boy, you got it all wrong. What
if the key to the storage room
breaks? What if the basketballs
are all out of air? But, what if
no water comes out of the faucet.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I guess I'll just fix the
situation.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
No, no dammit. First, you always
keep your eye on the water. You
picture the water flowing from the
faucet, and then, if your lucky,
or if your name is Timmy D'ahoy,
the bottle fills with cold,
            (MORE)

21.

                       MR. JAYMAC (cont'd)
crystal clear, lip licking water.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Who's Timmy D'ahoy?
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
Get the hell out of here.
                                                            
Brad starts to leave the room.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC (CONT"D)
Wait.
                                                            
Brad turns around.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
You can have the job. But as for
D'ahoy, he's the best basketball
player ever.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I can really have the job?
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (lackadaisical)
Yeah, nobody wants it anyways.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thank you, thank you so much.
                                                            
Brad runs out of the classroom into the hallway.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (jumping around)
Yes, yes. I'm the basketball
manager.
                                                            
Jessica sees Brad run out of the classroom.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (to herself)
What a freak!
                                                            
 
INT. MALL - DAY
                                                            
Brad sits at a table pretending to text someone. People pass
by him continuously.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
I hadn't seen her for a week. I
knew that if I saw her, I would
have noticed. Her beauty glistened
            (MORE)

22.

                       BRAD (cont'd)
and sparkled. The second I saw
her, I was in heaven again.
                                                            
The song "Amor Mio" plays as Michelle walks toward Brad.
Brad studies her like a piece of art. He watches her
well-formed hair, elegantly sway from side to side. Her
perfectly formed body moves toward him as if she is about to
seduce him.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Hey, I saw you do your Elvis
impression. It's kind of cool.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (amazed)
You saw me do that?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (freaked out)
Yeah.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I mean, well, everyone did. So
that's good, I guess.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
I just came over to say I'm sorry.
I didn't really help you when
those jocks trampled you.
                                                            
Brad stares at Michelle as if she is a monument.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
It was inevitable what I was
thinking. It definitely involved
her and I. The only thing
different from reality, was we had
our clothes on.
                                                            
Brad continues to stare at Michelle.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Um Brad, are you okay?
                                                            
Ryan walks toward Brad and stops.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (romantically)
Oh, yeah. It's just I'm so smitten
by your beauty.
                                                            

23.

                       MICHELLE
      (walking away)
Okay, what a freak.
                                                            
Ryan walks up to Brad.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Dude, what was that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
How long were you standing there?
                                                            
                       RYAN
Long enough to see you make a fool
out of yourself.
                                                            
The two stare at Michelle as she saunters away.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (defensively)
I just told her what I was
thinking.
                                                            
                       RYAN
No you didn't.
                                                            
                       BRAD
How do you know?
                                                            
                       RYAN
You were thinking of what she
looked like naked.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's exactly what I was
thinking. Can you read minds or
something?
                                                            
                       RYAN
I'm a teenage boy too you know.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What did I say to Michelle that
was so wrong?
                                                            
                       RYAN
You said what you thought she
wanted to hear. Look dude, girls
want to be chased. They want to
make some sick game out of it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That sucks.
                                                            

24.

                       RYAN
What really sucks is when they
randomly cry for no reason.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I don't know, its just she's so
hot. I could never get her to like
me.
                                                            
                       RYAN
You're never gonna get her to like
you with that attitude. Girls like
guys with confidence. If you think
you're the best thing in the
world, then so will she.
                                                            
                       BRAD
How do I do that?
                                                            
                       RYAN
Pretend your perfect.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (doubtful)
It's not that simple.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Although it sounds crazy. Yes,
it's all about what you think of
yourself.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thanks for your help man.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Just tell your self your beautiful
and you will be to everyone else.
                                                            
                       BRAD
All I'll be doing is telling the
truth.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Good start.
                                                            
 
EXT. ROWE HOME - DAY
                                                            
The home is a very nice one story. Brad and Ryan are
standing on the front porch of Willow's house.
                                                            
Brad knocks on the front door.
                                                            

25.

As the song My Maria starts to play, Willow's mom MARIA,
opens the door. Her sex appeal is beyond description and she
is barley forty years old. She has blond hair and a body
like a supermodel.
                                                            
                       MARIA
Are you two boys here for Willow?
                                                            
Ryan and Brad stare at Maria in amazement.
                                                            
                       MARIA (CONT'D)
I'm his mom, but you can call me
Maria. He's in his room if you
were wondering.
                                                            
Ryan and Brad continue to stare in amazement.
                                                            
                       MARIA
It's down the hall and to the
left.
                                                            
Ryan starts to walk down the hall when he notices Brad
fixated on Maria.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Brad come on.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I
can.
                                                            
                       MARIA
I hope you come back soon. Maybe
when Willow's not here.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (excited)
Yeah, I would love that.
                                                            
Brad and Ryan walk down the hall and open Willow's bedroom
door.
                                                            
WILLOW'S ROOM
                                                            
Willow is lying on his bed making out with Jessica McKnight.
The room is small and decorated with NBA themed stuff. There
is also a Nerf basketball hoop hanging on the back of the
door.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (sitting up)
What the hell man?
                                                            

26.

                       RYAN
Resume this later. We got
troubles.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (to Willow
       pointing at Brad)
Why are you hanging out with that
loser.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Lack of selection I guess.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Brad)
He doesn't mean it. He's just mad
we crashed his make-out party.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
I'll see you tomorrow Willow.
                                                            
Jessica runs out the door.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
So, what can the master of chicks
help you with?
                                                            
                       RYAN
He want's Michelle Watson.
                                                            
Ryan picks up a Nerf basketball from off the floor.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No way dude, I can't even get her.
                                                            
Ryan tosses the ball at the hoop and makes it in.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Why not?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
She's crazy I guess.
                                                            
Willow steals the ball from Ryan and throws it through the
hoop.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Brad)
He groped her in third grade and
there was a lawsuit.
                                                            

27.

                       WILLOW
      (spinning the ball
       on his thumb)
Didn't even go to trial. Settled
out of court, that's how pathetic
their case was.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You groped her, didn't ya.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Damn right, and it was worth every
penny of my life savings. At least
that's what the attorneys cost me.
                                                            
Ryan goes to pick up the ball, but Willow gets it first.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (dreaming)
That's why I want her. Having her
would be worth millions.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
But you don't got millions,
meaning you ain't in the running
if this was a race.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Don't give up on the poor kid. He
might be porky and lazy, but he's
got a future, I hope.
                                                            
Willow dribbles the ball. Ryan tries to get it, but Willow
keeps it away from him.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to Brad)
Fine, what's your intrests?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Politics.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
What are you? Republican or
democrat?
                                                            
Willow throws the ball at Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (catching the ball)
Strictly Republican. I don't
believe in socialism.
                                                            

28.

                       WILLOW
Okay, name a landslide victory
that was hard to achieve.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Definitely the Republican
revolution in nineteen ninety
four.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
This is gonna be ten times harder.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (energized)
Okay, let's go for it.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Since I know a little about
politics, I'll translate in
poltical talk.
                                                            
Brad throws the ball back at Willow. Ryan tries to catch the
ball, but fails. Willow picks up the ball and holds it in
his arms.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Okay, let's do this.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Your the candidate, I'm the
campaign manager and she's the
presidency. Got it so far.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah I'm down.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Okay, first you write a speech,
then you deliver it. So tomorrow
that's what we'll do.
                                                            
                       WILLOW (Cont'd)
Write the speech tonight, okay.
That's your homework.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Okay.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
See you fools tomorrow.
                                                            
Willow throws the ball into the hoop. Ryan goes to grab the
ball, but Brad gets it first.
                                                            

29.

                       BRAD
      (throwing ball at
       Willow)
Thanks Willow.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No problem. Just tell Jessica my
rooms empty on your way out.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh yeah, I was gonna ask you.
Why's your mom so hot?
                                                            
Willow throws the ball at Brad, hitting him in the face.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Get out of here.
                                                            
Brad and Ryan walk out the door.
                                                            
 
INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
The bedroom is very nice and clean. There is a large queen
bed in the middle of the room and a desk in the corner.
There's also a door leading to a bathroom and a telescope,
facing the window.
                                                            
Brad writing at his desk...
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
So that's when I began my Campaign
to achieve the top prize. First
Lady.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Brad is standing in the hallway next to Ryan and Willow.
Michelle is standing across from them, talking to Jessica.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Brad)
Okay, go up and talk to her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No way, she's right next to
Jessica Mcknight.
                                                            
                       RYAN
So what.
                                                            

30.

                       BRAD
It's Jessica Mcknight dude.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I hit that like every weekend.
She's just talk.
                                                            
                       BRAD
But there's no way Michelle would
respond to me. On top of that,
what would I say?
                                                            
                       RYAN
Look, Willow would have never
gotten any chicks if he didn't
try.
                                                            
Willow walks up to SARAH RINER. Sarah Riner is the
definition of beautiful. She has perfect tan skin and every
inch of her body is irresistible.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
So, you want to have sex?
                                                            
Sarah hits Willow in the face with her locker.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (walking away)
Asshole!
                                                            
Willow stumbles over to Brad.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (rubbing his face)
See player, you got to be able to
take rejection, and pain.
                                                            
                       BRAD
It's not the physicall pain I'm
afraid of it's the rejection.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Just try it man and be positive.
                                                            
Brad walks up to Michelle.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Michelle, right?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (weirded out)
That's my name. Remember, we met
at the mall.
                                                            

31.

                       BRAD
Yeah, I just wanted to say thank
you for apologizing to me at the
mall yesterday.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Yeah, it was just a nice thing to
do, I guess. It didn't mean
anything, if that's what you
thought.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh of course not. I just wanted to
say thanks.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (disgusted)
Well, you just did.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, bye.
                                                            
Brad walks away with a depressed look on his face.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
I had never in my life, felt so
beaten down. But, I had to ignore
it for the rest of the day.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Man you look bad.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Pimp, you look like you just lost
all your clients and employees.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (depressed)
I never even had any.
                                                            
                       RYAN
It's not over, I still have faith
in you.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thanks, I think I'm just gonna go
to class and forget about it.
                                                            
Brad walks away.
                                                            
                       RYAN
He looked bad.
                                                            

32.

                       WILLOW
I know, we got to do something.
                                                            
Bell rings
                                                            
                       WILLOW (CONT'D)
Well not now, see you later.
                                                            
Willow and Ryan walk away.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Josh walks up to his locker, which is next to Brad's. Brad
looks at a mirror in his locker.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (taking in the
       sight)
I look so cool.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (laughing)
What gave you a sudden boost in
confidence?
                                                            
Brad and Josh put their books in their lockers.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Ryan told me that if I think I'm
cool, then everyone else will too.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Did it work?
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, not really.
                                                            
                       JOSH
From now on, don't take Ryan's
advice on girls.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Why not?
                                                            
                       JOSH
He had a girlfriend for a little
while. A very hot one.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What happened?
                                                            

33.

                       JOSH
He cheated on her with Jordan
Ahrens.
                                                            
                       BRAD
He cheated on her with a guy.
                                                            
Josh and Brad start walking to class.
                                                            
                       JOSH
No you idiot. Jordan can be a
girls name.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So what happened?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Well, Ryan made out with this
Jordan chick and then his
girlfriend found out about it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
But what should I do in order to
get Michelle to like me?
                                                            
                       JOSH
On a scale of one to ten, what
number do you think Michelle is?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Definetly an eleven.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Well don't you think you should
aim for someone a little lower on
the food chain?
                                                            
                       BRAD
What? That doesn't make sense.
Food has nothing to do with it.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Let me explain. What's your
favorite thing?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Politics by far.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Okay, then if you wanted to become
President, you wouldn't run for
office at the age of twenty,
right?
                                                            

34.

                       BRAD
You can't be President until your
thirty five.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (frustrated)
Look, if you wanted to be
President you would run for
Governor or Congress first, right.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Right, but what's your point?
                                                            
                       JOSH
My point is that you should aim
for an eight, before you aim for a
ten. You always want experience
first.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I understand, but I want Michelle.
                                                            
                       JOSH
You can't always get what you
want. Haven't you ever heard the
Rolling stones song?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Josh, you don't get it. Michelle
is not up to my level. I'm hot,
I'm experienced.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Wow, you're a little too
confident. But what makes you
think you're experienced?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Because all this time that I have
been single, I've been reading
Cosmo and Red-book. I know more
about what women want, than they
do.
                                                            
                       JOSH
That's a little gay. On second
thought, are the magazines sent to
your address?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, why?
                                                            

35.

                       JOSH
I would like to read some of them.
You know, just to get an idea of
the advice.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I understand, but I'm not gonna
date anyone lesser than Michelle.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Your going to have to just settle
the first time around. Wouldn't
you wanna test the magazine's info
first, before you try the advice
on Michelle Watson.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I guess so, but I'm not gonna like
this chick anymore than I like
Michelle.
                                                            
                       JOSH
That's fine. Now who's cute in
your opinion? Remember, she can't
be really hot. Just kind of hot,
but not ugly.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (excited)
Megan Stephanie. She'd be perfect.
She's hot, but I could definitely
do better.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Megan it is than.
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is going to be perfect.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Now go home and read Cosmo, but
make sure you don't throw any of
them away.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'll even highlight the best
advice for you.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Perfect.
                                                            
 

36.

INT. MR ACKINIZER'S CLASSROOM - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Ackinzer is in his early thirties. He's very athletic
and lean. He is standing in front of the entire room. Brad
is sitting behind sophomore, MEGAN STEPHANIE. She is very
hot. She's very fit due to her being on the softball team.
Her presence exhibits toughness and her ability to have fun.
                                                            
                       MR. ACKINIZER
I have a new story to tell you
about when I was a banker. This
man covered in pig manure, walked
in and I saw that he had one
million dollars in the bank.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
      (Brad is writing
       something)
I wasn't paying attention that
day. It was all because I was
fixated on Megan. Every second I
thought about her, I kept liking
her more. The whole time, she was
sitting right in front of me.
                                                            
Brad gently taps Megan's shoulder with his finger. Megan
turns around. Brad hands her a folded note. She opens it and
begins to read it.
                                                            
INSERT - NOTE, WHICH READS:
                                                            
                       NOTE
Megan, I was wondering if you
would like to hang out with me
this afternoon?
                                                            
Megan turns the note over and writes something on it. She
folds it back up and hands it to Brad. Brad unfolds note and
reads it.
                                                            
INSERT - NOTE, WHICH READS:
                                                            
                       NOTE
Yes.
                                                            
Brad looks up at Megan and smiles. Brad makes a fist with
his hand and moves his arm back in excitement.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to himself)
Yes.
                                                            
Kids stare at Brad.
                                                            

37.

                       BRAD (CONT'D)
      (embarrassed)
Good test score.
                                                            
 
INT. BRAD'S BLAZER - DAY
                                                            
Brad is driving home with Megan, who is sitting in the
passenger seat.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
So, what are we going to do?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, do you know how to drive a
stick?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
No, why?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm going to teach you.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (smiling)
This should be interesting.
                                                            
                       BRAD
It's really not that hard, I mean
after you do it for a while.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
That's what she said.
                                                            
Both Brad and Megan start laughing.
                                                            
 
EXT. BRAD'S FARM - DAY
                                                            
Brad slowly drives his blazer off the main road and onto a
muddy lane toward his barn. Adjacent to the lane is a field
full of nursery stock.
                                                            
INSIDE BLAZER
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Is this your property?
                                                            
                       BRAD
It's my Grandpa's.
                                                            

38.

                       MEGAN
This place is perfect for four
wheeling.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's what we're gonna do.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
I'm excited.
                                                            
Brad stops his blazer in front of barn.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (looking at Megan)
Are you ready?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (nervously excited)
I guess.
                                                            
INSIDE BARN
                                                            
They get out of the blazer and walk into the barn. The barn
looks as if it could fall down any second. There is a Geo
metro hatchback with no doors, parked inside the barn. It's
been rode to near death and is falling apart.
                                                            
                       BRAD
How about if I drive first and
show you the basics.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (confused)
We're driving this.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, is there a problem?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (doubtful)
Does it run?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Perfectly.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (getting into car)
Whatever.
                                                            
Brad gets in the car and starts it up. Megan also gets in
the car. Brad let's off the clutch and pushes the gas. The
car speeds out of the barn and disappears into the field.
Brad continues driving through field at high speeds.
                                                            

39.

                       MEGAN
This is awesome!
                                                            
                       BRAD
Let's listen to some AC/DC.
                                                            
Brad turns on the CD player and "TNT" blasts through the
speakers. Brad continues driving through the field. Brad
slams the gas and pulls the emergency brake, causing the Geo
to drift around a corner. He does this continually.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
That was awesome.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Do you want to drive now?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (excited)
Yes, definetly.
                                                            
Brad stops the car and switches spots with Megan.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Okay, what do I do now?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Push down on the clutch.
                                                            
Megan pushes the clutch down and shifts into first gear.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Like that?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, now very slowly let off the
clutch.
                                                            
Megan quickly lets off of the clutch, causing the car to
die.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, it's fine. Just try again.
                                                            
Megan pushes down on the clutch and starts the car. She then
pushes on the gas and slowly lets off the clutch. The car
goes forward very slowly.
                                                            

40.

                       MEGAN
      (letting off the
       gas)
I wanna go faster.
                                                            
The car quickly dies.
                                                            
                       MEGAN (CONT'D)
Maybe you should just drive.
                                                            
EMPTY FIELD - SCHROEDER FARM
                                                            
The Geo metro sits in the middle of a field, which is
surrounded on all sides by forest. Brad and Megan are both
sitting on the hood of the Geo.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sometimes if you're here at the
right time, you can see a deer run
across this field.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (looking at Brad)
What are you thinking about?
                                                            
Brad looks up at Megan.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (laughing)
That's a funny question.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
No, I'm serious. What are you
thinking about right now?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (solemnly)
I'm thinking about you and why you
agreed to spend time with me.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
It wasn't that hard of a decision,
but now that I did. I would love
to do it again.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What are you thinking about?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (looking into
       Brad's eyes)
I'm tying to figure out why you
haven't kissed me yet.
                                                            

41.

                       BRAD
      (moving toward
       Megan's face)
I can't come up with any.
                                                            
Brad kisses Megan on the lips.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
I had a great time today.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So did I.
                                                            
Brad kisses Megan on the lips again.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONT OF MEGAN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
The house is a nice two story, above average home. Brad
parks his blazer and walks Megan to the front door.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, I guess I'll see you
tomorrow.
                                                            
Long pause of awkward silence.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Meet me at seven thirty in the
basketball storage room tomorrow
morning. We can make out until
school starts.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (with a big smile)
Sounds good.
                                                            
Megan kisses Brad on the cheek and then walks into her
house. Brad turns around and walks toward his blazer with a
smile on his face.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
Sounds good, sounds good. That's
all I could think of to say. More
like holy crap, is this a freak-in
dream.
                                                            
 
INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Brad turns and tosses around in his bed.
                                                            

42.

                       BRAD (V.O)
Sleeping was not an option that
night. I was just too damn
excited.
                                                            
Brad gets up and sits at his desk. He pulls out his journal
and begins to write.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
As gay as it sounds, that night I
wrote for six hours about my
feelings. I was sure the next day,
would be the best day of my life,
and I wanted to cherish it
forever.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Brad walks through the gym toward the basketball storage
closet.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
My heart was pounding so hard.
Brad Schroeder is going to make
out with Mallory Stephanie. As
great as I thought it would be, I
was sure nothing could go wrong.
                                                            
Brad opens the door to the basketball storage closet. Megan
is making out with JOEL MCKAGUE. Joel has crazy hair and is
always hyper.
                                                            
                       JOEL
      (very happy)
What's up Brad?
                                                            
                       MEGAN
Brad, I thought I told you to meet
me at lunch in the janitor's
closet.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, you definetly did not.
                                                            
                       MEGAN
      (shrugs shoulders)
Oh well.
                                                            
Megan kisses Joel while Brad is watching. Brad shuts the
storage closet door and walks into the gym toward the
hallway.
                                                            

43.

                       BRAD (V.O)
Boy was I wrong. Once this kid hit
me with a baseball bat in my sack.
I would have given anything to
feel that pain, instead of what I
was feeling at this moment.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Brad is walking down hallway passing out fliers to everyone.
The fliers are red with a picture of Ronald Reagan on them.
Under picture it says "Best President Ever".
                                                            
Alex Corbett is also passing out fliers. His fliers are blue
and have a picture of Bill Clinton on them. Under the
picture it says "Best President Ever".
                                                            
As Brad passes Alex, Alex notices Brad's fliers.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (abrasively)
Brad, Reagan sucked. He didn't do
anything for america.
                                                            
                       BRAD
He stopped the cold war. I would
call that something, wouldn't you?
                                                            
                       ALEX
Bill Clinton was awesome, he got
head in the white house.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You want me to even start on
Clinton. Let's see, not only did
he kill hundreds of people who
knew his secrets, but he also cut
the military in half. By the time
he was done, no member of the
military could ask for materials,
because no one would tell them.
All because of a stupid Clinton
policy called "Don't ask, Don't
tell."
                                                            
                       ALEX
Brad, you're such a retard.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No I'm not and you suck.
                                                            

44.

                       ALEX
You're such a faggot.
                                                            
Willow walks up to Alex.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Hey Alex, you know what you suck?
                                                            
                       ALEX
What?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Anything with balls.
                                                            
Willow and Brad start laughing.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (walking away)
You guys are freak-in disgusting.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Dude, we're not the ones who suck
that shit.
                                                            
                       ALEX
Well Brad, I could kick your ass
anytime of the day.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Name the time you asshole and I'll
be there.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (pointing at Brad)
Seventy two hours and fifteen
minutes.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (whispering to
       Willow)
Hold me back.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (confused)
What?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (making fist)
Your on and I'm gonna kick your
ass.
                                                            

45.

                       BRAD (CONT'D)
      (running in place.)
Hold me back Willow.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Oh.
                                                            
Willow grabs Brad's shoulders and stands still while Brad
tries to escape.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Right now Alex, right freak-in
now.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
If I wasn't holding him back, he'd
kick your ass.
                                                            
                       ALEX
      (walking away)
What chumps.
                                                            
Alex disapears around a corner.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to Willow)
Good thing you were holding me
back. I was gonna have to kick his
ass.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No kidding.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Josh, Brad, Ryan and Willow are all standing next to their
lockers.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Next time I try to gain some
experience. Let's not use someone
who's gonna break my heart.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Dude, it was one afternoon.
                                                            
                       BRAD
It was more than that. We liked
each other. We had a good time, we
had fun. We even kissed, twice.
                                                            

46.

                       WILLOW
I made out with a girl two hours
ago for like twenty minutes. It
didn't mean anything to me and it
didn't mean anything to her.
                                                            
Willow shuts his locker.
                                                            
                       WILLOW (CONT'D)
Well, I hope it didn't mean
anything to her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
But that making out session was
purely meaningless. Me and Megan
had something.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (to Brad)
We're all going to Dairy Queen if
you want to go.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, I just want to go home and
pretend I have a girlfriend.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (winking his eye.)
It'll get better dude, just wait.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I might meet you guys there.
                                                            
Josh, Ryan and Willow walk away as Brad remains standing
there. Jessica is talking to Michelle across the hallway.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (irritated)
Sarah is complaining again that Bo
wants to get in her pants too
soon.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Maybe she should just break up
with him.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Or just give it to him.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
She'd never do that.
                                                            
Michelle and Jessica walk away laughing.
                                                            

47.

                       BRAD
      (watching them
       walk away)
They're so hot.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY DAIRY QUEEN - DAY
                                                            
It's your average Dairy Queen, but in need of a remodel.
There are booths and tables with chairs. Willow, Josh and
Ryan are all sitting at a booth. A military recruiter walks
over to their table. He's tall and has a very commanding
voice.
                                                            
                       MILLITARY RECRUITER
Would you young men like to join
the army and serve your country?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I'm good.
                                                            
                       JOSH
I don't think so.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (tough)
I'm gonna join the air force, so I
can be a bad ass.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to Ryan)
You have to pass the test first.
                                                            
                       MILLITARY RECRUITER
Don't worry about the test, but
wouldn't you guys like to have
your college paid for?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I'm good, the UNCF are over
looking my application as we
speak. I'm quite certain they'll
grant me enough money for school.
                                                            
Brad walks in.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Hey Brad, what does UNCF stand
for?
                                                            
                       BRAD
The United Negro college fund.
Why?
                                                            

48.

                       RYAN
Don't you have to be black to be a
member.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Ryan, you're so stupid. They don't
know I'm white. It's all through
email and shit like that.
                                                            
                       MILLITARY RECRUITER
      (to Brad)
So, do you want to join the Army?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I really appreciate your service,
but I can't do push ups and I'm
scared of just about anything and
everything.
                                                            
                       MILLITARY RECRUITER (CONT'D)
      (pointing at a
       table)
Well, if any of you change your
mind. I'll be eating lunch over
there.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (sitting down)
So, did you know you can get aids
from a toliet seat?
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (defensive)
Bullshit, that's impossible.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (confused)
Really, you can?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, but only if you sit down
before the other guy gets up.
                                                            
All the boys make a disgusted face.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Oh, nasty man.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Willow are both standing at the bottom of the
stairs when Alex walks toward them.
                                                            

49.

                       ALEX
      (dropping back
       pack)
Are you ready for me to kick your
ass?
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, but I'm ready to kick yours.
                                                            
People start gathering around Alex and Brad. Alex makes two
fists and pretends like he's boxing.
                                                            
                       ALEX
I can run circles around you, you
looser.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Fighting isn't about running in
circles, you idiot.
                                                            
                       ALEX
Are you gonna kick my ass or not?
                                                            
"Gonna Fly now" starts to play in background.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Prepare to feel the wrath, cause
I'm gonna fly now, Bitch.
                                                            
Brad jabs his fist to Alex's face, having direct contact
with his nose. Alex falls backwards onto the stairs. He
looks up and then touches his nose and sees blood on his
hand. Alex starts to cry and runs up the stairs.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONT OF SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Willow and Josh carry Brad on their shoulders. People follow
them and cheer.
                                                            
                       BRAD (CONT"D)
That day I felt like a
reincarnation of Rocky. It was
great.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL GYM - DAY
                                                            
Brad sits in a chair next to a rack of basketballs. All the
basketball players stand in a circle around Mr. Jaymac.
                                                            

50.

                       MR. JAYMAC
      (screaming)
Schroeder, throw me a ball.
                                                            
Brad weakly throws Mr Jaymac a ball.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC (CONT'D)
      (screaming at Brad)
What the hell was that you
jacknife?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (screaming back)
It was a manager's throw.
                                                            
The basketball players laugh. TIMMY D'AHOY, the basketball
star, is laughing hardest. He's short, but average looking.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
What a looser.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (quietly to
       himself)
I could kick his ass.
                                                            
LATER
                                                            
All the basketball players stand next to Brad making small
talk.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
I hate Mr. Fryers too. Jaymac is a
much better coach.
                                                            
                       TIMMY (CONT'D)
Hey Brad, what do you think about
Fryers?
                                                            
                       BRAD
One time he told me my hair was
standing up.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
What'd you say back?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I told him at least I had hair,
unlike him.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
      (getting into
       Brad's face)
What's the matter Brad. Do you
            (MORE)

51.

                       TIMMY (cont'd)
have something against bald
people?
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (cheering Timmy on)
You tell him Timmy.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (weirded out)
No.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
      (in Brad's face)
My dad's bald and I might be bald
someday. So I take that
personally.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Well, could you get out of my
face?
                                                            
                       TIMMY
What are you gonna do about it
Brad?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I dont know?
                                                            
Timmy slaps Brad in the face.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
What are you gonna do now,
manager.
                                                            
Brad punches Timmy in the eye, causing him to fall over.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's what I'm gonna do.
                                                            
Timmy is lying on the ground.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
      (holding eye)
Pain, pain.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (holding his hands
       out)
Not my Timmy.
                                                            

52.

                       BRAD
      (to everyone.)
It was self defense. You all saw
it.
                                                            
                       BASKETBALL TEAM
We're all staying out of this one.
                                                            
Timmy stands up.
                                                            
                       TIMMY
      (pacing around)
Pain, it still hurts. It's never
gonna go away.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (angry)
You're fired.
                                                            
                       BRAD
But Mr. Jaymac, don't go all
Donald on me.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
No, you punched my starter. No one
assaults my Timmy and gets away
with it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Come on Jaymac, this experience
will look good on my resume.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
      (fiery with anger)
Get out of here you Jackknife.
                                                            
Brad starts walking toward the exit. He turns around and
looks at Mr. Jaymac.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Suck it, Jaymac.
                                                            
Full of anger, Jaymac throws a ball at Brad. The ball hits
brad in the face, causing Brad to fall down. Principal Lyons
walks into the gym. Mr. Jaymac sees him.
                                                            
                       MR. JAYMAC
I didn't do anything.
                                                            
Mr. Jaymac runs out of the gym.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL LYONS
What happened here?
                                                            

53.

                       BRAD
      (rubbing his head)
Mr. Jaymac went nuts on me.
                                                            
                       PRINCIPAL LYONS
Go to the nurses office and I'll
take care of Mr. Jaymac.
                                                            
Brad gets up and walks out of the gym.
                                                            
 
INT. NURSES OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Brad is waiting in the nurses office when MITCH, walks in
with a black eye. Mitch is Brad's age, but very strong and
much handsomer.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What happened to you?
                                                            
                       MITCH
      (holding his eye)
Mr. Fields punched me in the face.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What did they do to him?
                                                            
                       MITCH
They took him away in handcuffs.
What happened to you?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Mr. Jaymac threw a basketball at
my head.
                                                            
The school nurse walks in. She's in her sixties and looks
stressed out.
                                                            
                       MITCH
Jeez, nobodies safe. We don't know
when the next teacher is gonna
loose it and kill us all.
                                                            
                       NURSE
Oh don't worry kids. The local
pharmacy just ran out of all their
Ritalin. All the teachers will be
able to fill their subscriptions
and everything will be back to
normal.
                                                            
 

54.

INT. MR LEX'S SCIENCE CLASS - DAY
                                                            
Mr Lex stands in front of the class. He is in his mid
thirties and fits the environmentalist, liberal stereo type,
to a tee.
                                                            
                       MR LEX
      (energetic)
Okay class, it's time to get a
partner and become master
scientists. While you do your
projects, I'm gonna turn on some
Bob Dylan.
                                                            
Mr. Lex walks over to his desk and turns on his IPOD. Mr.
Lex walks over to his desk and turns on his IPOD. "Just Like
Tom Thumb's blues" rambles out of two speakers on Lex's
desk.
                                                            
Willow walks over to Michelle, who is sitting at a desk.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
You mind if I sit down?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Considering your reputation, yes.
But I guess, like, you could say
I, like, believe in giving second
chances.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Okay, cool.
                                                            
Willow sits down beside Michelle.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
What's with that weird kid Brad.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Come on, its not obvious he wants
you.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Well, not really. He's never
really had like, a conversation
with me.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
He's kinda afraid to talk to you.
                                                            

55.

                       MICHELLE
Well he comes off like, not
confidant and that's really not
what I want in a guy.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (starring at
       Michelle)
You're really hot.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
That's kind of weird.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
What did I just say?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
I think you said I was hot, but
aren't you in a relationship with
Jessica?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I don't know. Look, let's just
pretend I never said anything,
because I don't want to piss Brad
off.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
That's really nice of you.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
That's the kind of person I'am.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Well you can tell Brad, that
that's the kind of person I like.
                                                            
 
INT. WILLOW'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Brad drives his Blazer with Willow in the passenger seat.
The stereo erupts with the song "Heartless".
                                                            
                       BRAD
So come on. What did she say?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Player, I don't know. She just
said typical chick stuff.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do you mean typical chick
stuff?. I was home schooled, I
don't know what typical chick
            (MORE)

56.

                       BRAD (cont'd)
stuff is.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Stuff like, she wants a confident
guy, shit like that fool.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's she like?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I would figure that out before I
fell head over heals for her. But
that's just me.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Willow, she's freaking hot. I
don't care what she's like. I was
just wondering.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
She's a typical babe. You know,
says like a thousand times a
sentence. Her fantasies are all
about Johnny Depp and she loves
big sunglasses.
                                                            
                       BRAD
She sounds weird, but whatever.
                                                            
Brad steers into the turning lane and stops, due to a red
light.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Just don't tell her that next time
you see her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm not that stupid.
                                                            
The light beside the red turning light changes to green.
Brad notices the cars beside him moving. In response he
turns, not realizing he has a red light.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Brad, what the hell?
                                                            
Brad continues driving through the intersection, just barely
missing a car by a few inches.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm sorry, I was distracted.
                                                            

57.

                       WILLOW
Stop picturing Michelle naked and
drive.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Dude you seriously need to stop
reading people's mind.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Ryan, Josh, Brad and Willow stand in the hallway across from
Michelle.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (to Brad)
Let's try this again.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, I can't.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Come on dude, its not that hard,
you just got to do it.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Maybe Brad's right, I mean she
really has nothing in common with
him.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, Willow's right this time.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Brad, Look at me.
                                                            
Brad looks at Josh.
                                                            
                       JOSH (CONT'D)
You can do this.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Fine, but this is my last try.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to himself)
Yeah right.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Willow)
What did you say?
                                                            

58.

                       WILLOW
Nothing.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do I say to her?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Just say you want to go to the
football game with her.
                                                            
Brad cruises over to Michelle as if he is cool and
confident.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
The only time I was ever this
nervous in my life, was when I saw
a staple gun pointed at my family
jewels.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to Michelle)
Hi.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Hello, what's up?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I was wondering if you would go
with me to the football game
tomorrow night?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Sure.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (excited)
Yes. I mean, cool.
                                                            
Willow slaps his forehead and shakes his head.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
After the staple gun incident, I
cried for about an hour, but this
time they were complete tears of
joy.
                                                            
Brad walks over to Josh.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Good job man.
                                                            
                       RYAN
That wasn't so bad, was it?
                                                            

59.

                       BRAD
      (excited)
When she said yes, it was as if I
was on a thirty Diet Pepsi high.
It was awesome.
                                                            
                       JOSH
See, I said it would be easy. Next
is the hard part.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Crap, if I go does that mean I
have to talk to her?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Of course.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Why can't I be as good at this as
you?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Because some of us are gifted when
talking to girls.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Brad)
In other words he's gay.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I wouldn't be surprised.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Let's go get you prepared to talk
to this chick. It isn't gonna be
easy considering you haven't
talked to any chick before.
                                                            
 
INT. CAFETERIA - DAY
                                                            
STAGG and SCHNELL stand in the hallway talking to each
other. Both Stagg and Schnell are seniors. They both have
long hair and are stoners. Brad walks by them toward the
lunch line.
                                                            
                       STAGG
Hey Brad, you wanna make a dollar?
                                                            
                       BRAD
How do you know my name?
                                                            

60.

                       SCHNELL
Everyone knows your name. You do
the Elvis impression.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You mean you'll pay me a dollar to
do my Elvis impression.
                                                            
                       STAGG
Yeah, dude. It's so awesome.
                                                            
                       SCHNELL
Man, you should run for a winter
formal crown.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (interested)
You really think so?
                                                            
                       STAGG
Dude, you're gonna get laid so
much in college, if you still do
that impression.
                                                            
                       SCHNELL
Yeah man, like all the time dude.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sweet, thanks guys.
                                                            
Brad does his Elvis impression...
                                                            
 
EXT. GRAVEL PARKING LOT - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Josh stand in a gravel parking lot in front of the
football field. BRENNAN is standing next to Brad and Josh.
Brennan is very nerdy looking and wears glasses.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (stressed out)
How am I gonna do this?
                                                            
                       JOSH
It's simple. Brennan will be
sitting next to you. Whenever she
says something you don't know how
to respond to, he will write the
anwser down and you'll say it.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (doubtful)
This is gonna suck.
                                                            

61.

                       JOSH
Only if you think that way.
                                                            
                       BRENNAN
      (to Josh)
He's probably right. This wont go
well.
                                                            
Brad puts his hands on his face, full of stress.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh my gosh. I'm gonna die.
                                                            
                       JOSH
No you're not. Just think good
thoughts.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to himself)
Me and her naked, me and her
naked.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Remember, you can think about that
all night long. Just don't let her
know that, or it may never happen.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Let's do this thing.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Good way to be pumped.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (pacing)
I can do this, she's just a girl.
A really, really, really hot girl.
But just a girl.
                                                            
                       BRENNAN
Like I said, this wont go well.
                                                            
 
EXT. FOOTBALL STADIUM - NIGHT
                                                            
Brad and Michelle are walking to their seats. Michelle is
holding a pop and Brad is holding a hot dog with ketchup
packets. The stadium is very crowded. The football players
have already started playing.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Where do you wanna sit?
                                                            

62.

                       MICHELLE
Right here's fine.
                                                            
As Michelle sits down, Brad notices Josh, Ryan and Willow,
sitting four rows above them. They're all pointing at
Brennan, who is one row below them.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh crap!
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
What's the matter?
                                                            
                       BRAD
This is a really bad place to sit.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Really, I sat here last week and
it was fine.
                                                            
                       BRAD
A kid got knocked out by the
football while he was sitting
here. We better move up there.
                                                            
Brad stands up and starts walking toward the bench Brennan
is sitting on.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (following Brad)
Uh, okay.
                                                            
Michelle and Brad sit down next to Brennan.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So, I wonder if we'll win tonight.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
We'll find out.
                                                            
Josh writes on the board and hands it to Brennan, who then
holds it up.
                                                            
INSERT - BOARD, WHICH READS:
                                                            
                       BOARD
What's your favorite class?
                                                            
Brad reads the board
                                                            

63.

                       BRAD
      (talking in
       monotone)
What's your favorite class?
                                                            
Ryan, Josh, Willow and Brennan all slap their foreheads with
the palm of their hand's.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
English or Art. Both are pretty
fun. What about you?
                                                            
                       BRAD
PE and History.
                                                            
Michelle is now holding the hot dog. She hands Brad a
ketchup packet.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Could you open this for me?
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Josh and
       Willow)
This is his chance to prove he's a
man.
                                                            
Brad looks at Brennan and Josh for the board. Josh makes a
motion like he is tearing a ketchup packet open. Brad tries
to open the ketchup packet, but can't. He tries harder and
harder. Finlay he opens it and it squirts all over
Michelle's chest.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Shit. I mean, I'm so sorry.
                                                            
Josh throws a napkin down at Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD (CONT'D)
I'm so sorry. Here.
                                                            
Brad wipes Michelle's shirt with napkin. He wipes the
ketchup off her breasts down to her stomach. Josh looks at
Willow as they both roll their eyes.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (walking away)
I'll be right back.
                                                            
Brad shakes his head and slaps his forehead.
                                                            

64.

                       BRAD
      (to himself)
Oh my gosh.
                                                            
Josh walks down to Brad and sits next to him.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Look, we can still come back from
this.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Dude, I'm screwing up over and
over again.
                                                            
                       JOSH
If she comes back you obviously
haven't screwed up too bad. Just
wait for her and then look at the
signs. We got this.
                                                            
Josh pats Brad on his shoulder as Michelle walks back to her
seat.
                                                            
                       JOSH (CONT'D)
Good luck dude.
                                                            
Josh goes back to his seat as Michelle sits down next to
Brad.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Sorry that took me so long. I was
talking to Jessica.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh it's cool.
                                                            
Brennan lifts a sign up that has scribbling all over it.
Brad looks at sign, but cannot read it. He tries sounding
out the words.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (slowly and
       confused)
Ask her what she's doing after the
game.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (to Willow)
This kid won't get laid until he's
like forty.
                                                            

65.

                       WILLOW
      (to Josh)
Twenty bucks says he won't get
laid till he's ninety.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (to Brad)
You want to go back to your place?
                                                            
Ryan, Josh and Willow look at each other and laugh.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (shocked)
I don't really have a place, but
we can go to my house.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
That's what I mean.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Okay cool.
                                                            
 
EXT. GRAVEL PARKING LOT - NIGHT
                                                            
Brad and Josh stand in the middle of the parking lot.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Josh, what do I do? She's coming
to my house.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Relax we got her interested. Now
we just have to keep her in the
game. Do you have a condom?
                                                            
                       BRAD
No, do you?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Shit dude. You should have asked
me at the beginning of the game. I
used them all at half time.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What do I do?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Don't worry, I'll get a ladder and
throw you one through your window.
                                                            
Brennan walks up to Brad and Josh.
                                                            

66.

                       BRAD
But what do I actualy do?
                                                            
                       JOSH
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I mean I don't know what to do.
How do I have sex?
                                                            
                       JOSH
It's easy.
                                                            
                       BRAD
But what does it even look like.
                                                            
                       BRENNAN
I walked in on my parents
yesterday.
                                                            
Brennan takes a screw and a bolt out and pushes them
together.
                                                            
                       BRENNAN
It's pretty much like that, but
with a lot of screaming and name
calling.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I know it's not like that at all.
                                                            
Michelle walks up to Brad.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (to Brad)
Are you ready to go?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yes, I mean, sure I guess we could
go now.
                                                            
Josh gives Brad two thumbs up and a smile.
                                                            
 
INT. BRAD'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Michelle and Brad walk into the bedroom. Michelle sits on
bed and crosses her legs. Brad puts his hands in his pockets
and sits down beside her.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So, what should we do?
                                                            

67.

                       MICHELLE
You go into the bathroom and wait
for me.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (confused)
Okay, I guess.
                                                            
Brad goes into his bathroom and shuts the door. Michelle
walks over to telescope and looks through it. She sees
Willow in his room, in only his boxers.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (to herself)
I want some of that.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (while in bathroom)
What did you say?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Don't worry about it.
                                                            
OUTSIDE OF SCHROEDER HOME
                                                            
Josh carries a ladder over to Brad's bedroom window. He
arches it up and steps onto the first step.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (to himself)
Oh shit. I forgot the condom.
                                                            
Josh gets off of the ladder and runs toward his Explorer,
which is parked on the side of the street.
                                                            
INSIDE BRAD'S BEDROOM
                                                            
Michelle walks over to the window and opens it.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (looking at ladder)
Oh perfect.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Are you ready yet?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE (CONT'D)
Brad, wait a minute. I'll tell you
when to come out.
                                                            
Michelle takes off her shirt, revealing just a bra.
                                                            

68.

                       BRAD
      (still in bathroom)
What are you wearing?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (taking her pants
       off)
Oh, nothing.
                                                            
INSIDE OF BRAD'S BATHROOM
                                                            
Brad is wearing nothing but his underwear. He sprays
deodorant on his arm pits, then his whole body.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (crossing fingers)
One more time for good luck.
                                                            
Brad sprays himself all over again.
                                                            
INSIDE BRAD'S BEDROOM
                                                            
Michelle climbs out the window and then climbs down the
ladder. She then jumps over the fence into Willow's yard.
                                                            
Never noticing Michelle, Josh walks over to the ladder and
climbs it to the bedroom window. He then climbs into the
bedroom and notices Michelle's clothes on the ground.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (remarkably amazed)
Holy shit, they got it on.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (still inside
       bathroom)
Michelle is that you?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Brad, what the hell is going on?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (opening bathroom
       door)
Michelle told me to wait in the
bathroom. What are you doing here,
Josh?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Dude, you've been stood up, or
worse, seduced without seduction.
                                                            
Brad walks over and picks up Michelle's pants.
                                                            

69.

                       BRAD
Why do you act like this night
turned out bad. Michelle Watson
took off her clothes in my
bedroom. Do you know how cool that
is?
                                                            
                       JOSH
You don't get it. Brad you bought
the cow, but didn't get the milk.
You bought a car that dosen't run.
                                                            
Brad sits on his bed,
                                                            
                       BRAD
That doesn't make sense, I didn't
buy Michelle. It's not like I'm
loosing anything financially.
Unless of course, she robbed me.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Let me explain. Christmas morning
you get a gift. You unwrap the
gift. It's a bike, but guess what.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (confused)
What?
                                                            
                       JOSH
You didn't get to ride the bike.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That would suck, but what does
that have to do with Michelle
Watson?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Someone obviously never gave you
the "sex talk".
                                                            
                       BRAD
Josh, I should be grateful she
even came to my house. Let alone
got naked in my bedroom.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Brad, please tell me why you're
not upset that you didn't sleep
with her tonight.
                                                            

70.

                       BRAD
I'm upset, but that sort of thing
can wait. She's perfect, I just
want to treat her with respect.
                                                            
Josh hears something outside and walks over to the bedroom
to see what the noise is. He sees Michelle climbing through
Willow's bedroom window.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's going on?
                                                            
                       JOSH
You don't want to know.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Come on, just tell me. I can take
it.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Are you sure?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yes, I can take it. Now just tell
me.
                                                            
                       JOSH
It looks like Michelle is in
Willow's bedroom.
                                                            
Brad hangs his head down and looks very sad.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Are you okay?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (stuttering)
Yes, but I, well do you mind.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Mind what?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Do you mind hanging out with me
tonight? I just, don't want to be
alone.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yeah man, I guess I could hang for
a little while.
                                                            
 

71.

INT. WILLOW'S BEDROOM. - DAY
                                                            
Michelle is lying on Willow's bed, as if she is posing for a
photograph. Willow walks in with a surprised look on his
face.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
What the hell are you doing here?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (innocently)
You're not mad are you?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No, I mean confused, that's all.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (seductively)
Well, I was thinking we could, you
know.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No, I don't know.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Come on Willow. You don't remember
our history?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
The only thing I remember, is
becoming the only kid in
elementary school to be labeled as
a sexual predator.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
I asked for it, I got it. Now I'm
asking for it again. Only this
time we can go all the way. And
this time, there won't be any
lawyers.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Even if I really wanted to, which
I do, I would never betray Brad's
trust.
                                                            
Michelle runs her fingers down her legs.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Come on Willow, take me.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Are you being sincere?
                                                            

72.

Michelle licks her finger.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
As sincere as chocolate. By the
way, do you have any?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
But what would Brad say?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
You didn't hear about it?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
No, hear about what?
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
Brad doesn't like me. We're over.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I guess if Brad doesn't want you,
I could have a taste.
                                                            
Michelle stands up and kisses Willow.
                                                            
                       MICHELLE
      (unhooking bra)
Trust me, it will be the sweetest
thing you've ever tasted.
                                                            
 
EXT. FRONT OF SCHRODER HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Brad is playing basketball in front of his house when Willow
walks up to him.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
You wanna play one on one?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (throwing
       basketball at
       Willow's stomach)
Why don't you play with yourself,
instead of your friend's
girlfriend?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yo player, Michelle ain't your
girl dawg.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Speak english bitch.
                                                            

73.

                       WILLOW
How can I be friends with a looser
that calls me bitch.
                                                            
                       BRAD
We were done being friends when
you stuck it in my pie.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Kiss my ass dude. It's not my
fault she wasn't happy with your
package.
                                                            
                       BRAD
She must not like packages, since
she went to you of all people.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (walking away)
I'm done with this bullshit. I'm
out.
                                                            
                       BRAD
No shit you're out. Michelle isn't
around.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Willow and Michelle both flirt with each other. Across the
hall, Brad, Ryan and Josh, watch them touch each other
lightly.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Isn't it disgusting? I mean it's
one thing to cheat on me, but with
my friend and in front of me to
top it all off.
                                                            
                       RYAN
One problem, you guys were never
going out.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Ryan, don't be a dick. She lead
him on and then went out with
Willow.
                                                            
                       RYAN
So, it was a low blow. That kind
of shit happens all the time in
high school.
                                                            

74.

Ryan shuts his locker door and walks away.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (facing Brad)
Don't mind him, he's just jealous
because you came closer to scoring
then he ever has.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Ex least I have one thing over
someone.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Don't be so depressed. They'll be
other girls. And besides, you may
even win a winter court crown.
Word is going around that your in
the running.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm not gonna get my hopes up, but
thanks for the encouragement.
                                                            
 
INT. GYM OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
The gym is full of students from all four grades of the high
school. The gym is decorated very nicely to encourage
attendance to winter formal.
                                                            
Brad walks into the gym as just another person in the crowd.
He sees Josh and Ryan and then walks over to them. All three
sit down as the lights start to dim.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
At that moment, everyone expected
something interesting to happen.
For me, something did.
                                                            
KATIE SKIDMORE walks out onto gym floor with microphone in
hand. A spotlight follows her. Katie is very beautiful. She
has brown hair and a perfect body. Her beauty is unique and
ravishing.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
At that moment I saw her. I saw
one of the greatest things man had
ever seen. The perfect woman. Just
like that, I was over Michelle
Watson.
                                                            

75.

                       KATIE
This year we have a great chance
to go to winter court. So, we
should all show our school spirit
and make it the most memorable
time ever.
                                                            
Jessica McKnight walks out onto gym floor with an envalope
in hand. She also holds a microphone.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (cheesy)
Katie, guess what.
                                                            
                       KATIE
What?
                                                            
                       JESSICA
It's time to announce the winter
court prince and princess.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I'm so excited.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
The nominees for prince are.
                                                            
Jessica opens an envelope.
                                                            
                       JESSICA (CONT'D)
      (drum roll at last
       sentence)
Bo Vice, Brad Schroeder and Joel
Mckague. And the winner is. Drum
roll please. Brad Schroeder.
                                                            
People start clapping as Brad walks onto the gym floor. When
Brad reaches the floor, Jessica walks over to Brad and gives
him a kiss on the cheek. She then puts a crown on his head.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Okay, let's see who is going with
Brad to winter court.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to Bo Vice)
Every girls dream, not.
                                                            
Bo and Willow start cracking up.
                                                            
                       KATIE
      (shocked on last
       sentence)
The nominees for winter court
            (MORE)

76.

                       KATIE (cont'd)
princess are. Mallory Stephanie,
Sarah Katherine and Katie
Skidmore. And the winner is, Me.
Katie Skidmore.
                                                            
Katie walks over to Brad and poses for a picture.
                                                            
                       KATIE (CONT'D)
      (to Brad)
I'm Katie, if you didn't know.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh trust me, I know.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I guess we're supposed to walk
this way.
                                                            
Brad and Katie walk across the gym with their arms linked
together.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm sorry if you are disappointed
we have to go together.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Don't worry, I'm definetly not.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Josh and Brad stand in the hallway next to their lockers. On
the other side of the hallway, Katie stands next to
Michelle.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to Josh)
I can't do it.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yes you can. Just do what you did
with Michelle.
                                                            
                       BRAD
We both know how that turned out.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yes, but it was worth it, wasn't
it?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, I guess.
                                                            

77.

                       JOSH
Now go ask her to lunch.
                                                            
Brad walks over to Katie's locker.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
I was definitely nervous, but
exicted for the possible results.
                                                            
                       BRAD (CONT'D)
Katie, I was wondering if since
we're going to winter court
together, if you would like to eat
lunch with me at dairy queen?
                                                            
                       KATIE
Yeah, sure. Since we're going to
the dance together, we should
probably get to know each other.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Okay then, see you in the parking
lot at lunch.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Sounds good.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Great.
                                                            
Brad walks over to Josh. Ryan is standing beside him.
                                                            
                       JOSH
It was easy, wasn't it?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, but I got to go cause I have
a huge test.
                                                            
                       JOSH
See ya later.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Bye.
                                                            
Brad starts to walk away.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Oh, Brad.
                                                            
Brad stops.
                                                            

78.

                       BRAD
      (turning around)
Yeah?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Good job, I'm proud of you.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Thanks.
                                                            
Brad walks away.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to Josh)
To be honest, I don't like this
whole thing.
                                                            
                       JOSH
If you're talking about Katie, you
should remember how it was you
that screwed it up.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (disgusted)
I know, but I'm so much cooler and
better looking than Brad.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Ryan, if you hadn't cheated on her
and instead had acted like a real
man. She wouldn't go out with
Brad. She'd be going out with you.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (annoyed)
If you're not gonna be supportive
of me. I'm just never gonna talk
to you about stuff.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (annoyed)
Whatever Ryan.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY DAIRY QUEEN - DAY
                                                            
Brad and Katie are sitting in a booth, facing each other.
Brad eats a strawberry blizzard with a spoon, while Katie
licks a swirl cone.
                                                            

79.

                       KATIE
I love swirl cones. Anyone who
enjoys them are obviously not
plain.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I love swirl cones too, but
starwberry is uncomparable.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Why do you like strawberry?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I don't know. It gives you this
sense of comfort that every things
all right. Do you get what I'm
saying?
                                                            
                       KATIE
Yeah, I think I understand.
                                                            
                       BRAD
So, if you were all alone on a
deserted island, what would you
bring?
                                                            
                       KATIE
Where did that question come from?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I don't know. I was just
wondering.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Well, probably my cat because I
can't live without her. What would
you bring?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I would bring my mom, because I
can't live without her.
                                                            
                       KATIE
      (smiling)
That's sweet, but your trying to
persuade me into thinking you're
sensitive.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (sensitively)
I can't help it, I am sensitive.
Now tell me. Is it working?
                                                            

80.

                       KATIE
Yes, quite well.
                                                            
Brad looks at his watch.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Oh crap, we're fifteen minutes
late to our next class.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I have an idea, let's skip it and
go to the park.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I guess we could do that.
                                                            
Brad and Katie stand up and start to walk away. As Brad
follows Katie out the door, he examines her whole body from
top to bottom. Brad is so astonished by the sight of her, he
doesn't notice the door of the restaurant close behind her.
Brad hits the door head on and falls backwards. Katie runs
back into the dairy queen and kneels beside him.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Are you okay?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, I think.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I thought you were in the
bathroom.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (standing up)
I was right behind you, but I have
a request.
                                                            
                       KATIE
What is it?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I think I should walk in front of
you from now on.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Maybe that's a good idea.
                                                            
 

81.

EXT. SANDY PARK - DAY
                                                            
The park is surrounded by forest. There is a marry go round
and swings. Brad and Katie are sitting on the swings, slowly
swaying back and forth.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Remember when we were just kids
and everything was simple?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Nothing has ever seemed simple to
me.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Well, these swings remind me of
when I was a kid. There was no
worry about what college to go to,
or if I was gonna get a four point
O. Everything was just perfect.
                                                            
                       BRAD
You know what I miss?
                                                            
                       KATIE
      (curious)
What do you miss?
                                                            
                       BRAD
I miss when everyone liked each
other like in kindergarten. There
was no competition. We all just
played because that's what you
did. People who compete are what
destroys the simpleness of life.
                                                            
                       KATIE
That's so true and in depth.
                                                            
                       BRAD
It's just my opinion. Do you
aggree with it though?
                                                            
                       KATIE
You're so intresting.
                                                            
                       BRAD
What's that supposed to mean?
                                                            
                       KATIE
I don't know, I just feel good
around you. Like, life is better
than it usualy is.
                                                            

82.

                       BRAD
Maybe it is better around me.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Yes, it definitely is.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (solemnly)
What would you do if I kissed you
right now?
                                                            
                       KATIE
I would smile and kiss you back.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Sounds like a good plan.
                                                            
As Katie smiles, Brad grips her swing and attempts to kiss
her on the lips, but the swing becomes shaky, causing Katie
to fall backwards on to the ground.
                                                            
                       BRAD (CONT'D)
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
                                                            
Brad quickly gets off the swing and kneels beside Katie.
                                                            
                       KATIE
That probably looked worse than it
really was.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I'm so sorry.
                                                            
                       KATIE
It's fine.
                                                            
Brad starts to get up, but Katie grabs his shoulder. He
turns his head toward her.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I believe you forgot something.
                                                            
Katie kisses Brad on the lips.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (smiling)
I definitely would have remember
that.
                                                            
Brad brushes Katie's hair with his hand and then kisses her.
                                                            
Katie stares at Brad intently.
                                                            

83.

                       KATIE
      (standing up)
We should probably go back to
school.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (standing up)
Yeah, let's go.
                                                            
 
INT. SANDY HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Josh and Brad are standing in the hallway next to their
lockers.
                                                            
                       JOSH
So, what did you and Katie do all
afternoon?
                                                            
                       BRAD
We skipped fourth period and went
to the park.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Did you get any action?
                                                            
                       BRAD
It's weird, I don't want to have
sex with her.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (weirded out)
That is weird.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I mean, well she's different then
Michelle or Jessica. She's hot,
but she's more then that, she's
perfect.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Sounds like your falling for her
dude.
                                                            
                       BRAD
I think I am.
                                                            
Katie walks by Brad.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Hey Katie.
                                                            

84.

                       KATIE
What's up?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Do you want to hang out tonight?
                                                            
                       KATIE
Yeah, but I can't. I have to go to
Jessica's house tonight. We've
been planing it for weeks.
                                                            
                       BRAD
That's fine.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I'll call you tomorrow.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Looking forward to it.
                                                            
Katie walks away.
                                                            
                       JOSH
You want her, don't you?
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (watching Katie
       walk away)
More than anything in the world.
                                                            
Brad walks away as Ryan walks up to Josh.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Kid loves her, doesn't he.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yeah, I just hope she's not using
him to get to you.
                                                            
                       RYAN
What would be wrong with that?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Gosh Ryan, you're such a dick. You
think you're so good at two k and
everything else, but you really
suck.
                                                            
                       RYAN
This has nothing to do with two k
and you know it.
                                                            

85.

                       JOSH
You just wanna get back with
Katie, so you can break her heart
again and destroy Brad's in the
process.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Yes, I do want get back with
Katie. If Brad gets heartbroken in
the process, that's a casualty I
can live with.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Ryan, I'm so sick of you.
                                                            
Josh walks away.
                                                            
 
INT. JESSICA MCKNIGHT'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Katie, Jessica and Sarah Riner are all sitting on Jessica's
bedroom floor.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
      (disgusted)
Why are you going out with Brad?
                                                            
                       KATIE
He's really nice and kind of cute.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
You should date Ryan. Ex least
he's mildly attractive.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I don't like Ryan, he cheated on
me with Jordan Ahrens of all
people.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Remember our rule. You can't
mention her name, like, ever.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'm so glad we don't hang out with
her anymore.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Me too, she was a bitch.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
So Sarah, who are you going to
winter court with?
                                                            

86.

                       SARAH
Bo Vice, he asked me yesterday.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
You know he's just gonna want to
have sex with you.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I'll just say no.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
It's not gonna work and besides,
being a virgin sucks.
                                                            
                       SARAH
You wouldn't know because you lost
it to Willow.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
I was drunk. I didn't feel
anything, rather it was in or not,
I don't know.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Let's talk about something else.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Did you see how hot Principle
Lyons was yesterday?
                                                            
 
INT. MT HOOD ATHLETIC CLUB - DAY
                                                            
The club is very nice and new. Katie is riding an electronic
bicycle as her phone rings. She gets off of the bike and
answers the phone.
                                                            
 
INT. RYAN'S BEDROOM. - DAY
                                                            
Ryan is standing in the middle of his room on his phone,
waiting for Katie to answer.
                                                            
 
EXT. INTER CUT-TELEPHONE CONVERSATION - DAY
                                                            
                       KATIE
This is Katie.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (excited)
Katie, this is Ryan.
                                                            

87.

                       KATIE
      (annoyed)
You still have my phone number.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Of course I still have it.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Did you call me on accident?
                                                            
                       RYAN
No, I just want to talk to you.
                                                            
                       KATIE
      (irritated)
I'm working out. I don't have time
for this.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Please Katie. I just called to say
I'm sorry.
                                                            
                       KATIE
      (annoyed)
After one year.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Look, now that Jordan Ahrens is
history, I think we should get
together.
                                                            
                       KATIE
I'm sort of with Brad.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (arrogantly)
I'm so much better than him.
                                                            
                       KATIE
He didn't cheat on me, so no
you're not.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Come on Katie, admit your not over
me.
                                                            
                       KATIE
Ryan, I've been over you since the
day after we broke up.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Let's give it another try.
                                                            

88.

                       KATIE
No, not even a chance.
                                                            
Katie hangs up phone followed by Ryan.
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY OF SANDY HIGH SCHOOL - DAY
                                                            
Josh is standing next to his locker, when Jessica walks up
to him.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Josh, I have a question.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yeah, what is it?
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Do you wanna go to winter court
with me?
                                                            
                       JOSH
Sure.
                                                            
                       JESSICA
Okay then, I'll see you later.
                                                            
                       JOSH
      (disgusted)
Better than sooner.
                                                            
Jessica walks away.
                                                            
Willow walks up to Josh and leans up against Brad's locker.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (to Josh)
Dude I over heard. Jessica
Mcknight, not bad.
                                                            
Brad walks up to his locker.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Could you move Willow? You're in
front of my locker.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Brad, I was thinking. Since you're
with Katie, we could be cool now.
                                                            
                       BRAD
If you apologize.
                                                            

89.

                       WILLOW
Of course. I'm sorry she came to
me, but that doesn't excuse what I
did.
                                                            
Willow and Brad high five and pound it.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
We cool now?
                                                            
                       BRAD
Yeah, we're cool.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Good, because me and Bo thought we
should all get a limo.
                                                            
Ryan walks up to Willow.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (to Willow)
Can Ryan come too?
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (irritated)
Come where?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
We're all getting a limo.
                                                            
Sarah walks up to Josh.
                                                            
                       SARAH
I heard you're going with Jessica.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yeah, I guess so.
                                                            
                       SARAH
      (to Josh)
Good, too bad I'm going with Bo
because you would give me a fun
time.
                                                            
Sarah walks away.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Damn! Who the hell was that?
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Sarah Riner.
                                                            

90.

                       BRAD
If I wasn't with Katie.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Bro, we're all thinking the same
thing.
                                                            
                       BRAD (V.O)
      (watching Sarah
       walk away)
She was truly, almost too damn
good to be true. Since I was with
Katie I didn't care, but I did
hope to see her again.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
Yo Josh. She digs you man.
                                                            
                       JOSH
Yeah, well ex least she's not as
bad as Jessica.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Bad. She's great, at everything.
Sports, looks, money. She's got it
made.
                                                            
                       JOSH
She just seems fake, that's all.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
I don't care if they're fake or
not. Besides, they look natural to
me.
                                                            
                       JOSH
I'm not talking about her boobs
Willow. I'm saying she's fake.
She's a bitch.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Maybe deep down she's different
than Jessica and Michelle.
                                                            
                       JOSH
I doubt that.
                                                            
                       BRAD
Maybe I'm wrong, but anyway I got
to go.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
See ya Brad.
                                                            

91.

                       JOSH
Brad, why are you in such a hurry.
Schools out.
                                                            
                       BRAD
There's a Diet Pepsi sale at
Safeway today. Ninety nine cents a
two liter.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
You're so weird man.
                                                            
Brad walks away.
                                                            
 
INT. OLIVE GARDEN - NIGHT
                                                            
The Olive Garden is just like every other Olive garden. "On
an Evening in Roma" plays from the restaurant's speakers.
High school couples are spread throughout the restaurant.
                                                            
A long table with couples sitting around it is in the middle
of the restaurant. Ryan is sitting at the end of the table
by himself. Brad and Katie are across from each other. Brad
is next to Josh, who is across from Jessica. Bo is sitting
across from Sarah. At the other end of the table, Willow is
sitting across from Michelle.
                                                            
                       BO
      (to Ryan)
So Ryan, are you gonna get your
picture taken alone?
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (defensively)
Bo, I'm just flying solo because
dates are expensive.
                                                            
                       WILLOW
      (laughing)
Whatever.
                                                            
                       RYAN
      (to himself)
What a douche-bag.
                                                            
                       BRAD
      (trying to change
       subject)
So Katie, what's going on?
                                                            

92.

                       KATIE
      (looking at menu)
Nothing much.
                                                            
                       RYAN
Katie, we're all having this
arguement. Do I look good tonight?
                                                            
                       KATIE
Define good.