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Paranormal Normal
by Jeremy Flair (silverhalo2426@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Miscellaneous   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

Four young adults get more than they bargained for when they frivolously release something from the other side. Things are bound to get sticky. Who will save them?


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Morgana, Vella, Maynard and Tyler are sitting around the
dining room table.

Candles cover the table and the atmosphere is darkened.

They are all holding hands and humming with their heads laid
back.

Tyler is humming "Ghostbusters".

Maynard is snoring.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Breathe in. Breathe out. Center
yourself and just give in to it.
Look into your dreams. Look into
your desires. Reveal your true
self.
      (beat)
Keep going. Keep going. Don't
break it. Don't break the circle.
      (beat)
Concentrate.
                                                            
Suddenly, Maynard breaks contact.

Morgana and Vella react accordingly with upset motions.
Tyler looks afraid.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Kathy, this is beyond stupid. A
perfect circle? Really?
      (beat)
Do you have to insult my
intelligence?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
How dare you call this beautiful
form of art stupid? And the name
is Morgana. Don't you forget it.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
First of all. I'm pretty sure it
says Kathy Lutz on your birth
certificate. Not Morgana Crazy
Fucknuts. And secondly,
      (beat)
Form of art? Beer pong. That's
art. Brooklyn Decker. That's art.
            (MORE)

2.

                       MAYNARD (cont'd)
Hell, even my foot long toilet
bombs are art. This shit here...
      (beat)
It ain't art.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
But...
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (interrupting)
And I swear to God. Don't you even
think about saying "Dark Arts" or
I will literally,
      (miming)
Piss all over your face.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Vella! Help me out here!
                                                            
                       VELLA
What do ya want me to say? He's
pretty much got ya painted into a
corner.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Oh you think this is stupid too,
huh?
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (not convincing)
I didn't say that.
                                                            
Morgana takes a moment to dwell in the moment. Maynard is
just staring at her. Tyler is clueless. Vella is blankly
staring back wondering if her non-enthusiasm is showing.
Morgana realizes no one cares about the perfect circle.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (to Vella)
You bitch!
                                                            
                       VELLA
I'm just saying...
      (beat)
We're all here for you Morgana.
It's just that this all seems a
little, I don't know...childish.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Childish? Says the one who talks
to her shoe.
                                                            

3.

                       VELLA
Hey now. I didn't make fun of you.
That's not fair.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (overly dramatic)
Life's not fair Vella. Get over
it.
                                                            
Vella stares at Morgana upset she'd be so mean to her. She
gathers her purse from underneath the table and leaves.

Maynard just stares at Morgana in disbelief that she just
treated all her friends like crap even though they did this
for her.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Wow.
                                                            
Maynard stands up and leaves.

Morgana looks at him leave then over to Tyler who is still
clueless. He smiles at her. She scoffs.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. MORGANA'S HOUSE - MORNING
                                                            
The outside of the house is still in the morning hours.

Morgana's voice can be heard.
                                                            
                       MORGANA (VO)
Seriously Vella...where is it at?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Morgana is tearing through her closet. She has her cell
phone pinned to her ear with her shoulder.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
It was here and now it's not.
      (beat)
You were the last one in here.
      (beat)
I know it's my closet Vella.
      (beat)
Yes you did you blood-sucking
leech.
      (immediately
            (MORE)

4.

                       MORGANA (cont'd)
       regretting)
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
      (reacting to Vella
       hanging up)
Hello? Hello? Damn it.
                                                            
Morgana hangs the phone up and places it on the dresser. She
falls back onto the bed.

She is staring at the ceiling.

A noise distracts her from the closet. She sits up.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Hello?
                                                            
She stands up and slowly makes her way to the closet. She
looks in. Nothing.

Suddenly, she is hit by a basket of dirty laundry.
                                                            
She looks down to notice the basket only filled with socks.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (sniffing)
Why do I smell bleach?
                                                            
Laughter echoes from the master bathroom.

She cocks her head in the direction.
                                                            
She inches closer to the door. She opens it and there's
nothing.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
All right. What the hell's going
on?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
As fast as fast can be, you'll
never catch me.
                                                            
Morgana flips around looking for the source of the voice.
She walks to the bed and looks underneath.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nope. Only thing there is cat piss
and hot links.
                                                            
Morgana mouths "Hot links", questioning.
                                                            

5.

                       STEVE (VO)
I watch you sleep amongst other
activities. Mmmmmmmm....internet.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who are you? What do you want?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Questions. Questions. Questions.
I've got a question for you.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What question?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Exactly.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I'm confused.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Color me surprised. Surprise!
      (mimicing Mario)
I'ma fuckin' your wife.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who the hell are you?!
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
You cannot pronounce my name in
your primative tongue. You can
call me Stefenopolis.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I'll call you Steve.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Call me Steve and I'll cut out
your larynx with my dick you
miserable human cunt.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
No need for name calling Steve.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Goddamn amateurs.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Where are you?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
I'm everywhere, like ghoneria and
Starbucks.
                                                            

6.

                       MORGANA
I like Starbucks.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Who do doctors see?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Patients.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
What is my sleeve doing?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I can't see you but im gonna guess
wearing thin.
      (beat)
That's such an old one.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
You can't see me because I'm
invisible you insufferable vermin.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What'd I tell you about the name
calling? You keep it up and I'm
gonna have to call your parents.
They'll kill you if they know
you're pranking a woman in her own
house.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Bitch! I am death. I am the the
evil in your heart, the presence
of murder, the raping and the
pillaging. I am sin incarnate!
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You're a what?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
I'm a fucking demon. Goddamn. How
do the angels put up with you
self-absorbed ignorant humans?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (nonchalantly)
Oh, all right then.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Really? You're okay with that? I
mean I just told you you were
speaking with an actual demon.
                                                            

7.

                       MORGANA
Yeah. It's cool.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
666 SECONDS LATER....
                                                            
Morgana is being pelted with boxes of cigarettes.

Steve is laughing hysterically.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Not cool. Not cool. Jesus Christ.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
He can't help you. You're the one
who released me.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What are you talking about?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Last night by candlelight. Hocus
fucking pocus bitch.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
The perfect circle?
                                                            
The pelting stops.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
We actually don't see it as a
circle. More like an oblong shape,
really.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Interesting. Quite inquisitive.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Shut up your voice. You're
annoying me and that's my job.
                                                            
The pelting continues.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Ow... Goddamn it.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
That's the spirit.
                                                            

8.

Steve begins to laugh hysterically.
                                                            
There's a knock at the front door.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Go away. I'm busy!
                                                            
The door cracks open and Vella sticks her head in.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Morg?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Lesbians! I love the 21st Century.
                                                            
Vella rushes into the house not sure what to do.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Morg!
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I'm not a lesbian.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Who are you talking to?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You can't hear him?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Hear who?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Steve!
                                                            
Vella looks around at all the packs of cigarettes on the
ground.
                                                            
                       VELLA
I thought you quit smoking.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I did. He was torturing me with
them.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Who was torturing you?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Steve! He's a demon.
                                                            
                       VELLA
A demon?
                                                            

9.

                       MORGANA
We released him last night.
                                                            
Vella puts her arm around Morgana and leads her to the
couch.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (sitting down with
       Morgana)
There. There. It's okay. Last
night was stressful. I know.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What are you doing here?
                                                            
Vella retrieves a vibrator from her purse and holds it up.
                                                            
                       VELLA
You were right, I did have it.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
That's just unsanitary.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Plastic dicks for plastic chicks.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Who said that?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You heard him?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Of course she heard me retard.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (standing up)
Okay. Who the hell is that?
                                                            
Vella notices a teddy bear sitting on the couch right next
to Morgana.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Aw. Morg. You never told me you
had a teddy. He's so cute.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I don't.
      (noticing Vella
       about to touch
       the bear)
Vella, don't!
                                                            

10.

She bends down to pick up the bear and it bites her.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ow. Son of a...
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Careful you blonde bitch. I bite!
                                                            
The bear is gone.
                                                            
Vella and Morgana search for the bear around the room with
their eyes.

Morgana sees the bear on Vella's shoulder.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (standing up)
Vella! The bear!
                                                            
The bear begins attacking Vella. She falls back on the couch
and struggles with "Steve".
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I'm gonna call Lucy. She'll know
what to do.
                                                            
Morgana rushes out.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Get back here bitch. Don't you
call that witch.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
You're a poet and you didn't even
know it.
      (cackles)
                                                            
                       VELLA
Seriously, who the hell are you?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Some time has passed.

Vella is sitting on the couch talking to "Steve" the bear.

The teddy is holding a lit cigarette.
                                                            

11.

                       STEVE (VO)
...And that was the seventh time I
got crabs.
                                                            
                       VELLA
That's interesting.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Well, when you've been around as
long as I have.
                                                            
Morgana enters.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Vella? Jesus. Are you chatting up
the psycho demon?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Once you get past his whole
Hellish demeanor, he's quite
pleasant.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
You never gave me a chance Miss
Lutz.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Now you're being polite.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
I'm misunderstood.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You attacked my friend. And threw
shit at me.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
The cigarettes were a peace
offering. I didn't know you had
quit. My bad.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
And attacking Vella?
                                                            
                       VELLA
He was attracted to me. It was his
way of coming on to me.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Have you seen that ass? Yum.
                                                            

12.

                       MORGANA
Tell me you didn't have sex with
the teddy bear.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ewww. No. Gross.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Gross? Bitch, I'm hung like Jesus.
                                                            
Suddenly, the front door flings open and Lucy enters.
                                                            
                       LUCY
Stefenopolis!
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Oh shit. Exit cue.
                                                            
Lucy runs to the middle of the room and holds one hand to
her head like she's channeling her brain waves and waves the
other around her body.

Spanish is overdubbed as she is speaking in her mind.

The bear disappears and the cigarette is left on the couch.

Morgana walks over and picks it up and takes a drag.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
It tastes like sin.
                                                            
Vella rolls her eyes.
                                                            
                       LUCY
He's gone.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Was that Spanish? What happened to
Latin?
                                                            
                       LUCY
You heard that?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Your condescending foreign babble?
Yes.
                                                            
                       LUCY
But I wasn't saying it out loud.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Quit changing the subject.
                                                            

13.

                       MORGANA
Lucy, did you know him?
                                                            
                       LUCY
I've delt with him before. He's a
prankster.
      (beat)
But he's not who I'm worried
about.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What are you talking about?
                                                            
                       LUCY
He's not the only one you
released. There are others. I can
feel them.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Others?
                                                            
                       LUCY
I don't know. Other spirits. Other
demons. I can't grasp onto their
presence.
                                                            
Lucy goes the to corner and sits down. She closes her eyes
and begins to meditate.
                                                            
                       VELLA
That's unusual.
      (beat)
Hey I have an idea. Come here
Morg.
                                                            
Vella sits down on the couch and takes her shoe off.

Morgana reluctantly joins her on the couch.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (holding her shoe
       up to Morgana)
Do you see it?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
See what?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Look harder.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Vella. It's a shoe. All I can see
is Dr. Scholls.
                                                            

14.

Suddenly, a voice in a British accent begins to speak.
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Quite down. Quite down.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who said that? Is Steve back?
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (whisper)
It's Ike. He's the one I talk to
in my shoe.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
There really was someone in your
shoe?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Of course, silly.
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Steve was the least of your
problems. The ancient spirit demon
Michelangelo is not to be taken
lightly for he has already sealed
your fate.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What do you mean, "sealed our
fate"?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
I cannot say more at this time.
Evil approaches.
                                                            
The door swings open and Tyler enters. He notices Vella
holding her shoe to her head like a telephone.
                                                            
                       TYLER
That's unusual. What's up guys?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Did you call Maynard?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Yeah. He's on his way. What's
going on?
                                                            
Suddenly, a deep guttural voice rings out throughout the
house.
                                                            

15.

                       MIKE (VO)
The end of your world as you know
it.
                                                            
Tyler jumps back in fright.
                                                            
                       TYLER
What was that?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (grasping her
       heart)
I don't know. It doesn't sound
like Steve.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Or Ike.
                                                            
                       TYLER
      (to Morgana)
Who?
      (to Vella)
And who?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You will do as I say. Stefenopolis
is no more. Ichabod is no more. I
am your God. Bow down to your
master.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (lost)
Ichabod?
      (thinking to
       herself)
Ike?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What do you want?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
There is nothing you pathetic
mortals can offer to me.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I don't understand.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
I require a sacrifice.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Sacrifice? I ain't dealin' with
this. No way. No how.
                                                            

16.

Tyler turns to the front door and puts his hand on the knob
to turn.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
I would not do that if I were you.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Oh yeah and why not?
      (to himself)
I can't believe I'm actually
talking to nothing.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You will reap what you sew. All of
you. Let this be my last warning.
Your fate is sealed. Try and run.
You will not get far. That I can
promise you.
                                                            
                       TYLER
I'm done. I'm done. No fuckin' way
I'm staying in this house another
second.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Ty, stay.
                                                            
Tyler opens the door and Dave is standing there with his
hand in the knock position.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Oh, excuse me.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Who the hell are you?
                                                            
                       DAVE
Who the hell are you?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Tyler.
                                                            
                       DAVE
      (extending his
       hand)
David. David Jensen. Nice to meet
ya.
                                                            
Tyler looks at his hand and then back to Morgana and Vella.

They look at each other and shrug.

He turns back to face Dave.
                                                            

17.

                       TYLER
You're in my way Dave.
                                                            
                       DAVE
I'm sorry. I'm looking for my son
Richard.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Ty. Let him in.
      (beat)
And please stay.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Fine.
                                                            
Tyler drudges over to the couch and sits down looking very
defeated.

Dave enters the residence and closes the door behind him.
                                                            
                       DAVE
So...about my son?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Richard hasn't been here in weeks.
                                                            
Dave begins to look around suspiciously.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Are you sure? You wouldn't be
lying to me would ya?
                                                            
                       VELLA
What do you think, we kidnapped
him? We hid him in the couch
cushions?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
For the second time...he's not
here.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Something's going on here and I'm
bound to get to the bottom of it?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Who are you? Sherlock Holmes?
You've heard us 100 times. Richard
is not here.
                                                            
                       DAVE
I'm pretty sure I don't sound
British nor am I 127 years old and
I'm for damn sure positive that...
            (MORE)

18.

                       DAVE (cont'd)
      (pointing at
       Morgana)
...she only said it twice.
      (pointing at Vella)
...and you. Zero. 100 times my
ass.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What are you, Captain Precise?
                                                            
                       DAVE
Precisely.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Wait a minute. I did say he was
not here once.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Yes. After you proclaimed it to be
100 times, nullifying the fact
that you just said it for the
first time.
                                                            
                       VELLA
I'm confused.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Probably isn't the first time, eh
blondie.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
I like this guy.
                                                            
Dave is oblivious to Mike's voice. Only Morgana, Vella and
Tyler can here him.

As Dave continues to talk Morgana and Vella look around the
room to see if Mike speaks again.

Tyler buries his head in his hands.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Look it's simple. I'm not stupid.
I know he was living here. I'm
pretty sure he was fucking one of
you.
      (pointing at Vella)
Probably you.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Why make that assumption?
                                                            

19.

                       DAVE
You look like a whore. A whore my
son would most definitely
purchase.
                                                            
Vella turns her head in disgust but keeps a small smile.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
So I don't look whorish enough for
you or your son?
                                                            
                       DAVE
Don't get me wrong...you look like
quite the little whore, but more
of the nignug chasing type.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Oh my God! You are such an
asshole.
                                                            
Tyler hears what Dave said and it peaks his interest. He
looks upset but unable to do anything.

Morgana looks at Tyler to say something. He doesn't.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Look. It is what it is. I'm sorry
I was born shitting on people.
Better that than....you know what?
Never mind.
      (beat)
Segway. Let's say I believe you
and my son's not here. Do any of
you know where he is?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Even if I did, I wouldn't tell you
because you're a terrible human
being.
                                                            
Dave inches towards the middle of the room almost catching a
glimpse of Lucy still entranced in the corner of the room.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Tell me something I don't know.
      (noticing Lucy)
Who the hell is that?
                                                            
Morgana and Vella look behind them and see Lucy. They
immediately turn back to Dave and scoot together to obscure
his vision of her.
                                                            

20.

                       MORGANA
      (same time as
       Vella)
No one!
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (same time as
       Morgana)
Nothing!
                                                            
They look at each other and then back to Dave.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (same time as
       Vella)
Nothing!
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (same time as
       Morgana)
No one!
                                                            
They smile awkwardly and let out a nervous chuckle. Dave
seems unimpressed.
                                                            
                       DAVE
You girls are shit nuts.
      (beat)
Speaking of... You think I can use
your shitter before I go?
                                                            
Morgana shakes her head "No" as Vella shakes hers "Yes".
They look at each other again and then Vella shakes "No" and
Morgana shakes "Yes".
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Go right ahead asshole.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Gee, thanks bitch.
                                                            
As Dave walks off rolling his eyes, Morgana and Vella start
to argue within themselves whispering in a frenzy of words.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
Dave is peeing into the toilet. He is whistling as he swirls
in enjoyment. He lets out a sigh, a shake and a zip.

He concentrates and then decides not to flush.
                                                            

21.

                       DAVE
Nah! Can't flush the masterpiece.
                                                            
He moves to the mirror where he stares at himself lovingly.
He continues whistling as looks himself up and down.

He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a baggie, a credit
card and a dollar bill from his pocket.

He cleans off a section of the counter top and gently
removes some of the contents of the baggie.

He takes the credit card and begins to make a neat little
pile. He carefully cuts it into a line.

He looks at himself one more time.

He rolls the dollar and as lifts it to his nose. As he bends
to take the line Mike's voice interjects.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (Space Odyssey)
Just what do you think you're
doing, Dave?
                                                            
Dave jumps back dropping the dollar.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Who said that? Hello?!!
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (Space Odyssey)
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I
can't do that.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Can't do what? Who's there?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (Space Odyssey)
Dave, this conversation can serve
no purpose any more. Goodbye.
                                                            
Dave just looks around the bathroom in disbelief.

Guttural laughter begins to fill the bathroom.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You are so pathetic.
                                                            
                       DAVE
Yeah. And who the fuck are you?
                                                            

22.

                       MIKE (VO)
I am your undoing.
      (Space Odyssey)
Daisy. Daaaaiiissssyyyyyy.
Daaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiisssssssyyyyyyyy.
                                                            
Suddenly, the lights begin to flicker on and off.

Dave reacts accordingly.

Blood begins to trickle down the mirror.

As Dave approaches the mirror, Mike's laughter once again
fills the room and Dave's look of genuine horror is on
display.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana and Vella are sitting on the couch. Tyler is sitting
on the other couch.
                                                            
                       TYLER
I'm sorry Morgana. I just don't
understand.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What Tyler? What do you not
understand?
                                                            
                       TYLER
I actually don't understand a lot
of stuff.
      (beat)
Like how we stay on Earth when
we're upside down.
      (beat)
Or how the body can turn such
delicious food into fat.
      (beat)
But more prominently, I don't
understand what the hell we're
still doing inside this house.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
We're waiting.
                                                            
                       VELLA
In all fairness. Ty may be on to
something.
                                                            

23.

                       MORGANA
No. You will not throw me under
the bus again Vella. I'm right.
You're wrong. End of story.
      (beat)
Tyler....shut up.
                                                            
Suddenly, Maynard burst through the front door.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
All right, all right. What the
hell was so damn important that I
waste my Saturday over here in the
witches coven.
                                                            
                       VELLA
We're not witches Maynard.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Witches. Bitches. It's all a
rhyming game isn't it?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Maynard. Can you pull yourself out
of your asshole bubble for one hot
damned minute?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Sorry. Jeez.
      (beat, forced)
How may I be of service my queen?
                                                            
Maynard walks over and sits next to Tyler.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You're probably not going to
believe me. I take that back.
You're definitely not going to
believe me.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (noticing Lucy)
What is Lucy doing in the corner?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Don't worry about her.
      (beat)
This is going to be hard to
stomach.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Cancer!
                                                            

24.

Tyler cowers in fear. Maynard stands up.

Morgana and Vella stand up.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What the hell was that?
                                                            
                       VELLA
You heard it?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Maybe you will believe me then.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Believe what?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You are all a cancer eating away
at the life you should lead.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
All right, seriously. Who the fuck
is that?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
And who the FUCK are you?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (semi-scared)
Maynard.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Sit down Maynard T. Washington. I
have plans for you. I have plans
for all of you.
                                                            
Mike begins to laugh.

Everyone sits down.

His laugh begins to fade as there is a knock at the door.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (getting up to
       answer door)
Jesus Christ!
                                                            
Morgana opens the door to reveal Richard standing there.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Richard.
                                                            

25.

Morgana turns around and walks back to the couch.

Richard enters.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
'Sup Dick.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Hey guys. I'm looking for my dad.
Have you seen him?
                                                            
Morgana and Vella look at each other in realization.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (at the same time
       as Vella)
The shitter!
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (at the same time
       as Morgana)
The shitter!
                                                            
They jump up.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana, Vella, Richard, Maynard and Tyler are crowded in
the doorway to the bathroom.

All is quiet inside. No sign of a struggle. No sign of Dave.

Morgana and Vella look at each other.
                                                            
                       VELLA
He was in here. Wasn't he?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Last time I checked.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Can someone please explain
something here?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Yeah. Like why some James Earl
Jones wannabe was telling me that
I was a cancer.
      (beat)
I'm a Leo. Jeez.
                                                            

26.

                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana, Vella, Maynard, Tyler and Richard are standing in
the middle of the living room.

Richard is in the center of the rest who are enveloping him
in a circle.

We begin spinning around the circle.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
You can't be serious?
                                                            
                       VELLA
We're serious.
                                                            
                       TYLER
I wish we weren't.
                                                            
Maynard just shrugs his shoulders.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Dead serious.
                                                            
                       VELLA
We're screwed.
                                                            
                       TYLER
It's frightening!
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (pointing at Tyler)
He's not speaking for everyone.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Oh but he is.
                                                            
The spinning stops.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Demons?
                                                            
A muffled sound fills the room. Someone is trying to
communicate.

The circle disperses; Morgana backs up a few feet, Maynard
stands still, Tyler hides behind the couch, Vella looks down
at her feet, Richard is puzzled.
                                                            

27.

                       VELLA
Ike!
                                                            
Vella removes her shoe.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Who?
                                                            
She puts the shoe up to her ear and Ike begins to speak
unmuffled.
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
What are you people thinking?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Ha. He talks funny.
                                                            
                       VELLA
That's Ike. He's helping us. Be
nice.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
You people are some weirdos.
      (beat)
Who's Ike?
      (beat)
And why are you "Get Smart"ing
your shoe?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
I leave you guys alone for one
second and you let someone die.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Die? Who's dead?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Who are you talking to Morg?
      (beat)
What is going on here?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
The fellow that was just using the
latrine. Michelangelo has taken
his soul. He is no more.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Michelangelo? Teenage Mutant Demon
Turtles? You can't be serious.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Dave's dead?
                                                            

28.

                       RICHARD
What? Where are you getting your
information from?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Don't you get it? Michelangelo
isn't messing around here. He will
take you one by one if we don't
stop him.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Hello. What is wrong with you
guys?
      (beat)
Where's my dad?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
But how do we stop him?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Who?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
There's no time. He comes.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ichabod!
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
You know my real name?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Yes. Who are you, really?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
That's a story for another time. I
have to go.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Wait. Ike!
                                                            
                       RICHARD
All right. You know what? Forget
this. This is stupid. I know he
was here. He has to still be here.
                                                            
Richard exits towards the hallway.
                                                            
                       VELLA
You just gonna let him go?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Sure. He's not gonna find him.
                                                            

29.

                       VELLA
That's cold.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Dave's an asshole.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Richard is walking down the hallway. He sees the first door
and goes towards it.

He opens the door and sticks his head in.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Dad?
                                                            
He hears giggling coming from another room.

He closes the door and continues down the hallway, past the
bathroom and up to the door the giggling is coming from.

He places his face against the door to listen.

The giggling gets louder and turns demonic.

Suddenly, a bang hits the door and Richard jumps back.

From the bathroom, Dave's disembodied voice echoes out.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Richard?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Dad?
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
I'm in the bathroom son.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
      (heading slowly
       towards the
       bathroom)
What's going on dad?
      (beat)
There's something wrong with this
house.
      (beat)
Something evil.
                                                            
Richard puts his hand on the doorknob.
                                                            

30.

                       DAVE (VO)
Just come in son. There's boobs
and beers. Boobs and beers for
everyone.
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Dad? Is that really you?
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Oh for fuck's sake. Would you just
get your dumb ass in here?
                                                            
                       RICHARD
Yep. That's him.
                                                            
Richard turns the knob and enters the bathroom. He closes
the door behind him.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
Dad?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You're mine!
      (guttural laughter)
                                                            
Richard screams.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana and Vella are sitting on the couch. Maynard and
Tyler are on the other couch.

Richard's scream echoes in the living room.

Everyone is silent and looking around at everyone else.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Okay. Seriously. Why are we still
in this house?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I'm actually gonna have to agree
with the little puss puss.
                                                            
Morgana and Vella look at each other and then Maynard and
Tyler.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
All right. Yeah. Let's get outta
here.
                                                            

31.

Morgana and Vella get up and head for the front door.
Maynard and Tyler follow.

Morgana opens the door and tries to take a step out. She
can't. Something invisible is blocking the exit.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What the...?
                                                            
She tries to take another step out but is blocked the same.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What's the problem?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (still trying)
I...can't...get....through...
                                                            
She stops and turns to face the group.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
There's something blocking my way.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Like what? Your dick?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Maynard. I'm sick and tired of
your tomboy jokes.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Well, why don't you cry about it?
Oh wait. You don't cry. That's a
womanly trait.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Can you guys stop fighting?
      (moving ahead of
       Morgana)
I'll try.
                                                            
Vella tries to move through the door and runs into the same
resistance.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Holy shit. You were right. We
can't leave.
                                                            
                       TYLER
      (overly dramatic)
That's it! Game over, man! Game
over! What the fuck are we gonna
do now? What are we gonna do?
                                                            

32.

                       VELLA
That seemed a little misplaced.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (breaking the 4th
       wall)
Some would say, a little "alien".
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Enough. Look. I'll go check the
back door.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
About time you do something
constructive.
                                                            
Maynard throws middle fingers at Morgana like guns.

He then exits into the kitchen.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I really hate that guy.
                                                            
                       VELLA
So why'd you invite him? Hope the
demon would kill him?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
First of all, I didn't know people
were dying when I had Ty call him.
Secondly, I figured if he was a
part of the circle, it would be
helpful he be here.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Guys!
      (pointing to the
       couch)
Look!
                                                            
Morgana and Vella follow Tyler's outstretched arm to the
couch where two teddy bears are sitting.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Oh my God! Teddies?
                                                            
                       VELLA
They look like Steve bears.
                                                            
Morgana and Vella make their way to the couch.

Tyler stays put.

33.


As they approach the bears, one begins to speak.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Goddamn it. Where am I?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Dave?
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
Dad?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Richard?
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Who's there? I can't see shit with
these plastic eyes.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
Dad, it's me. Richard.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Richie? Where are you?
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
I'm right next to you.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
I can't see you. I can only see in
front. I feel like a fucking
horse.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
What's a horse got to do with it?
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Looking forward, horses are
peripherally blinded.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
Thanks for that scientific nugget.
      (beat)
Now try and reach out for me.
                                                            
The two bears try and reach for each other but the fact of
the matter is, they are not moving. They cannot move. The
sounds of Dave and Richard trying fill the air.

Morgana and Vella look at each other, not sure what to do.

Tyler, looking heavy in thought digs his phone out of his
pocket and begins to look at it.

34.


Finally, Morgana has a light bulb moment and picks the two
bears up.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Hey, what the hell you doin'?
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
Put us down.
                                                            
She opens the closet door and flings the bears in, then
slams it.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
      (20's Gangster)
It's coitens for ya Mugsy. Meh,
meh see.
                                                            
She opens the door again.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Shut the fuck up Dave.
                                                            
As she slams the door, Maynard enters.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What's in the closet?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Was that your attempt at a come
back?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
If I wanted a come back, I'd wipe
it off your face.
                                                            
                       TYLER
      (looking down at
       his phone)
Guys! Dave was way off base.
      (beat)
Horses have excellent peripheral
vision.
                                                            
Mike's guttural laughter begins to fill the room.

Tyler puts his phone away and hides again.

Maynard calmly returns to the couch to sit.
                                                            

35.

                       MAYNARD
Looks like the psychobilly Da
Vinci's back.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Having a little trouble leaving?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What's going on Mike?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
The name is Michelangelo you
insignificant worm.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I refuse to call you that.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
This isn't McDonald's. You can't
have it your way.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Fine. Michelangelo.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You cannot escape this house. I
will not allow it. I have certain
defenses in place.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Yeah, yeah. Paranormal force
fields. We get it.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Awwwwww. Are you not having fun
yet Mr. Washington?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Of course I am Mr. Orange...
      (looking at
       Morgana and
       Vella, mouthing)
Ninja Turtles.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
I can read your lips. I am
omnipresent you redundant, waste
of protoplasm.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You demons are rude. You need to
calm your tits buddy.
                                                            

36.

                       MIKE (VO)
I DO NOT HAVE TITS!!!!!
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Moobs. Whatever.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Listen to me very closely. There
is something I need you to do for
me.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What makes you think we would do
anything for you?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
I have already taken two of your
friends. Do you want me to take
more?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Those guys were more like
acquaintances really.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
You humans are so insufferable.
      (beat)
Finish this deed and I will let
you leave with your lives.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What deed?
                                                            
Morgana listens for an answer but Mike has seemed to vanish.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Hello? Hello?
      (beat)
Michelangelo?
      (beat)
Mike?
      (beat)
Yeah. He's gone.
                                                            
                       VELLA
This shit is really getting deep.
                                                            
                       TYLER
      (peeking over the
       couch)
What are we gonna do?
                                                            
The room begins to shake violently. Everyone braces.
                                                            

37.

                       TYLER
Earthquake!
                                                            
The shaking stops.

A light appears in the middle of the room.

A feminine voice calls out.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Residents of 1428 Elm Street.
Springwood, Ohio
                                                            
                       VELLA
But we're in Texas.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who are you?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Don't you remember Kathy?
                                                            
Morgana racks her brain and then it hits her.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
ONE YEAR AGO

Morgana is in the bathroom in a towel. She is drying her
hair with a hairdryer.

The sounds of a girl singing echo through the bathroom.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Kathy? Oh, Kathy?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who's there?
                                                            
Morgana looks into the hairdryer.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Noooooooo!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

38.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Not a clue.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
I used to live here Kathy.
      (beat)
I'm cursed to the veil.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Who is this chick? She sounds hot.
      (louder)
Hey, hot dead naked chick. Do you
have big tits?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I apologize. Maynard here's a
mental case.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
That's all right Kathy. I have a
retort.
      (beat, clearing
       her throat)
First of all you little clown, I'm
not naked. I died with clothes on.
And secondly, yes. I have big
tits.
      (beat)
Unfortunately for you, I'm a ghost
and you can't see me or my perfect
breasts.
      (beat)
Not that they'd turn you on
anyway.
                                                            
When Max describes herself as a ghost and not being visible,
everyone looks at each other because they can obviously see
her.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What are you talking about? I'm
straight up a boobs man.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Then why'd I spy you jackin' the
beanstalk to Tyler's yearbook
photo.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Yo, what the fuck?
                                                            

39.

                       MAYNARD
You're mistaken. That never
happened.
                                                            
Everyone starts laughing at Maynard.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
It's not true. It didn't happen.
                                                            
Suddenly, Lucy is standing in the living room.
                                                            
                       LUCY
Maxine Stewart!
                                                            
The light disappears as does Max.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Lucy. I almost forgot you were
here.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Maxine Stewart?
                                                            
Tyler perks up and begins to ponder the name.
                                                            
                       LUCY
She's a liar. Don't believe a word
she says.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
See. I told you. Not gay.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
How do you know Luce?
                                                            
                       LUCY
What do you think I've been doing
over there in the corner?
Practicing ventriloquism?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Stop making up words.
                                                            
                       LUCY
Can it faggot.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Why's she gotta keep making up
shit?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Maxine Stewart. I know that name.
                                                            

40.

                       MORGANA
You do?
                                                            
                       TYLER
She was a serial killer.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
How do you know?
                                                            
                       LUCY
He's right.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Following serial killers is a
hobby of mine. You should of known
that.
      (beat)
She went on a murder binge in
1997, killing eight men who paid
her for "services".
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Just say sex. Jesus. Am I the only
adult here?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Go on Tyler.
                                                            
                       TYLER
She didn't kill every man that
paid her for "services".
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Seriously?
                                                            
                       TYLER
She killed the ones that were
really low, down, dirty pieces of
shit.
      (beat)
The most interesting part is how
she died and what happened to her
afterwards.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
This all sounds so familiar.
      (beat)
Doesn't it Lucy?
                                                            
Lucy is gone. Morgana and Vella are surprised.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Where'd she go?
                                                            

41.

                       MORGANA
She was right here.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (guttural laughter)
Make that three.
      (fading out)
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Goddamn it Michelangelo. Really?
Shit!
                                                            
The atmosphere changes once again as the doorbell rings.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You've got to be kidding me?
                                                            
Morgana rushes to the front door and opens it.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Go away!
                                                            
She begins to slam the door but an arm breaks the barrier
and catches it.

Everyone gasps.
                                                            
                       TYLER
He broke the force field.
                                                            
The door opens all the way and Troy enters.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (closing the door)
That was pretty rude Morgana.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Troy? What are you doing here?
                                                            
                       TROY
You told me to pick you up.
                                                            
                       VELLA
When?
                                                            
                       TROY
Yesterday.
                                                            
                       VELLA
For what?
                                                            

42.

                       TROY
You really want all these people
knowing?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Knowing what?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Yeah. Knowing what?
                                                            
                       TROY
I was suppose to take you to
planned parenthood today.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Oh damn it.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Who's kid is it?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Shut up Maynard.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Am I the only one taken aback by
the fact that Troy broke the force
field?
                                                            
                       TROY
Force field?
                                                            
                       VELLA
There's some things to explain.
                                                            
                       TROY
Okay.
                                                            
                       VELLA
We have to discuss the elephant in
the room.
                                                            
The sounds of an elephant trumpeting fills the room.
                                                            
                       TROY
What the hell was that?
                                                            
                       VELLA
That was the elephant in the room.
You may want to sit down big bro.
                                                            
                                         SKIP AHEAD
                                                            
Troy is sitting on the couch speechless.
                                                            

43.

                       MORGANA
Hard to believe right?
                                                            
                       TROY
So let me see if I've got this
straight.
      (beat)
You and my crazy carnie sister and
those two yahoos formed a "perfect
circle" in hoodoo voodoo terms and
released some evil spirits. One of
said spirits has been...expelled,
I guess the term is...and one of
them, sharing the name of a famous
painter is killing off everyone
one by one. So far his kill total
is three.
      (beat)
Am I close?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Pretty much dead on.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Yeah. That about covers it all.
                                                            
                       TROY
Okay then.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Okay? You just come in and believe
us no questions asked?
                                                            
                       TROY
I'm pretty sure I asked a whole
paragraph.
                                                            
                       TYLER
But you accept this that easy.
                                                            
                       TROY
Basically.
                                                            
                       TYLER
How?
                                                            
                       TROY
Uhhhh...I'm not a pussy.
                                                            
                       TYLER
      (sitting down)
Point taken.
                                                            

44.

                       TROY
I think what we need to do is
split up and try to find a way out
of here.
      (beat)
Now I know the doors are
para-normally sealed but, we need
to check the windows, the attic,
stuff like that.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Who put you in charge?
                                                            
                       TROY
Well you've lost three people
already so you're obviously not
doing a bang up job.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I agree.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (sigh)
Fine.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Troy and Vella are in the first bedroom.

Troy is checking the window. Vella is sitting on the bed.
                                                            
                       VELLA
I'm worried big brother.
                                                            
                       TROY
About what? I'm here now.
                                                            
                       VELLA
That's my point. How'd you get
through the force field? If you're
here now, Mike's just gonna kill
you.
                                                            
                       TROY
Calm down Vella. I'll be fine.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 

45.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana is in the second bedroom.

She is checking the window. As she finishes, she turns
around to come face to face with Max's light.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (jumping back)
Maxine?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Just call me Max.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Is it true Max? Are you a serial
killer?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Yes. I was. But I'd rather the
term purifier.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Purifier?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Those men deserved what they got.
You don't deserve the same fate
Kathy. You are a clean soul.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Maynard and Tyler are in the master bedroom.

Tyler is sitting on the bed. Maynard is checking the window.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Sex!
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       TYLER
I'm gonna miss sex.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Yeah, me too.
      (beat)
Just the other night I was having
sex with this hot Spanish chick.
                                                            

46.

                       TYLER
Last night I had sex with an
alien.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Like, from Mexico?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Why does everyone make that
assumption?
      (beat)
It was Canada.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Vella is sitting on the bed. Troy is standing in front of
her.
                                                            
                       VELLA
I don't wanna lose you Troy.
                                                            
                       TROY
You won't Vella.
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
You're making me all soggy. Quit
it.
                                                            
                       TROY
Ike? Is that you?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
It is I, Mr. Estrella.
                                                            
                       TROY
It's been awhile.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ike. How was my brother able to
break the force field?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Anyone can enter. None can leave.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana is standing in front of Max's light.
                                                            

47.

                       MORGANA
Do you know the others in this
house?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Are you referring to the asshole
demon Mike?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Mostly. Yes.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
I am aware of his presence. Yes.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What does he want? What is his
deed?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
I'm not too clear on that right
now. All I know, is that whatever
it is, you better figure it out.
He is strong. And he will get what
he wants.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
That's not very helpful Max.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (fading out)
I'm sorry. I can't help you.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - DAY
                                                            
Tyler is sitting on the bed. Maynard is standing in front of
him.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
So this Maxine character....
                                                            
                       TYLER
What about her?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You were saying before that the
most interesting part of her was
the way she died and what happened
after.
                                                            

48.

                       TYLER
You were listening?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
From time to time. Yes.
                                                            
                       TYLER
It was a stormy night and she was
on the run. The last man she had
killed, she had ran over with her
car. She left him for dead.
Trouble was, he wasn't. He waited
a whole year to exact his revenge
and with a hook in hand, he began
to kill off her friends one by
one. Before she knew it, she was
the only one still alive. There
she was on his fishing boat
searching for an escape. All she
found was her friend's bodies on
ice. And then, there he was,
lightning striking in the
distance, thunder booming
throughout the sky and the rain
cascading down his slicker.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I'm gonna stop you right there.
                                                            
                       TYLER
What's wrong?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I'm pretty sure that's the plot of
"I Know What You Did Last Summer".
                                                            
                       TYLER
No. Of course it's not. Don't be
silly. This really happened to the
poor girl.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Poor girl? She killed eight men.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Do you wanna know what happened
after she died?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You're gonna tell me anyway.
                                                            

49.

                       TYLER
You see, her parents were never
convinced she was a killer. After
watching "Child's Play" they
hatched an idea.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DEN - DAY
                                                            
17 YEARS AGO
                                                            
Mr. Stewart is sitting on the couch. Mrs. Stewart is sitting
on a chair. They are across from each other and there is a
coffee table between them. The lights are dim and candles
are lit on the table.

On the table is a rectangular box under a black cloth.
                                                            
                       DAD
Are you ready?
                                                            
Mrs. Stewart nods, holding back her tears.
                                                            
                       DAD
Go ahead. Begin.
                                                            
                       MOM
Klaatu Barada NNNNNNecktie.
Nectar. Nickel. Noodle. It's an
"N" word, it's definitely an "N"
word! Klaatu... Barada... N
      (clears her throat
       into her hand,
       then pauses)
Okay...that's it.
                                                            
                       DAD
What the hell was that Cynthia?
                                                            
                       MOM
It was the chant of the dead.
                                                            
                       DAD
That was from "Evil Dead". We're
not raising demons. We're
resurrecting our daughter into
this doll.
                                                            
                       MOM
Then you do it.
                                                            

50.

                       DAD
I will.
      (clears his throat)
Ade due damballa. Give me the
power I beg of you. Ade due
damballa! Ade due damballa!
                                                            
                       MOM
I'm pretty sure that was wrong.
                                                            
Suddenly, Max's voice echoes out.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Mom? Dad?
                                                            
                       DAD
Max?
                                                            
                       MOM
Maxine, honey?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
Where am I? I feel....
      (beat)
Electrical.
                                                            
                       DAD
Can you move your arms or legs?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
I don't have arms or legs. I
have...
      (beat)
A switch.
                                                            
                       MOM
A switch?
                                                            
Mrs. Stewart lifts a hairdryer out from under the table.
                                                            
                       MOM
      (into the
       hairdryer)
Maxine?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (from out of the
       hairdryer)
I'm here.
                                                            
                       DAD
Damn it Cynthia. Why do you have
your hairdryer?
                                                            

51.

                       MOM
I never leave it behind.
                                                            
Mrs. Stewart just looks at the hairdryer.
                                                            
                       MOM
This blows.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana is sitting on the couch, biting her nails, waiting
on the others.

After some time, Maynard and Tyler walk into the living
room.

Morgana stands up.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
It's about time you guys.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Tyler was giving me the summary of
Maxine's life, and death.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
She came to me when I was checking
the windows.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Did she say anything?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Nothing constructive. But, there
is something off about her.
                                                            
Lucy's voice echoes through the living room.
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
That's what I said.
                                                            
The three of them spin around looking for the source.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Lucy? Where are you?
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
In the sky. With diamonds.
                                                            

52.

The three look up and see a teddy hung by a noose on the
ceiling.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Lucy?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Wow. She got lynched.
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
It's not funny Maynard. You try
being dissolved by a demon and
transferred into a goddamn stuffed
animal.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I've been trying to stuff you for
years.
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
Fuck you.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Exactly.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Lucy. Where is Mike?
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
He is everywhere. He hears all. He
sees all.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Do you know what deed he wants us
to complete?
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
Yes. He wants you to find a
certain object.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
That's very broad.
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
Holy Hellfire!! He knows!
                                                            
Lucy begins screaming as she is set on fire.

The three react. Tyler runs. Maynard backs up. Morgana runs
to the door and opens it.
                                                            

53.

                       MORGANA
Gotta air it out!
                                                            
Morgana swings the door open and close. As she does so a
business card that was stuck in the doorjam falls to the
ground.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Quit airing out my barbecue.
                                                            
Morgana shuts the door, obviously annoyed with Michelangelo.
She hangs her head.

As she is looking to the ground, she notices the card. She
bends down and picks it up.

It reads: The Exterminator. Exterminating everything
paranormal and everything normal. Call me.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
That will do you no good. Nothing
will do you any good. You will die
here.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Shut up.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Ahhhh. Young Tyler finally decides
to speak with me. Done running my
little snowflake?
                                                            
Tyler doesn't know what to say. He is frozen.

Suddenly, behind him a shape appears with long black hair
covering the face. It lets out a scratchy drawn out moan.
                                                            
                       TYLER
Fuck this.
                                                            
Tyler takes off running down the hallway.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
That's more like it.
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What do you want Michelangelo?
It's time to tell us about the
object we need to find?
                                                            

54.

                       MIKE (VO)
I see you were talking to Lucy.
Poor dead little burnt whore.
Can't say I miss her.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Well I do. She was a fine piece of
ass and you didn't have to
flamethrower her.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Oh but I did have to Maynard. I
did have to. I couldn't have her
spoiling tonight's events.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What events?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
If you think I'm going to tell you
right now then you are obviously
not listening.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Cut the horseshit Mike!
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
MY NAME IS MICHELANGELO!!!
                                                            
Once again, the living room begins to shake and Mike is
gone.

Vella and Troy enter.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What'd we miss?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. DEN - DAY
                                                            
Tyler is sitting on the fireplace rocking back and forth
praying to himself.

Suddenly, the fireplace goes up in flames and guttural
laughter fills the room.

He jumps back and stands up.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
Tyler!
                                                            

55.

                       TYLER
Leave me alone.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
But Tyler, we have much to
discuss.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana and Maynard are standing next to each other. Vella
and Troy are standing opposite of them.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I have an idea.
                                                            
                       TROY
So do we.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You go first.
                                                            
                       TROY
This all started when you guys
created a perfect circle.
      (beat)
So maybe it ends with one too.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What do you mean?
                                                            
                       TROY
Ike told us that it ends where it
began.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You could hear Ike?
                                                            
                       TROY
I've known him longer than Vella.
                                                            
                       VELLA
He knew him as Ichabod.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Ichabod?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Remember Mike referred to Ike as
Ichabod?
                                                            

56.

                       MORGANA
Vaguely.
                                                            
                       TROY
Ichabod is a ghost. He's been
following my family for years. His
human name was Ichabod Crane.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
As in Sleepy Hollow, The Headless
Horseman, Ichabod Crane?
                                                            
                       TROY
The very same.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Are you fucking kidding me?
                                                            
                       TROY
I kid not. We are his ancestors.
The Estrellas. Fifth generation
Cranes.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
That was fiction. Ichabod Crane is
a fictional character.
                                                            
                       TROY
Whatever helps you sleep at night
bub.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What else did he say?
                                                            
                       VELLA
He said he was sorry for letting
all those people die so long ago.
The Horseman came for them and he
did nothing to stop him.
                                                            
                       TROY
Basically he was sorry for being a
pussy.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Really? Am I the only one have
trouble swallowing this?
                                                            
                       TROY
Eat a dick.
      (beat)
Swallow that.
                                                            

57.

                       VELLA
What was your idea Morg?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Not as good as yours. Let's form
the circle one more time.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Fuck me to tears.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
Morgana, Vella, Maynard and Tyler are sitting around the
dining room table.

Candles cover the table and the atmosphere is darkened.

They are all holding hands and humming with their heads laid
back.

Troy is standing over-watch.
                                                            
                       TROY
Candles?
                                                            
Morgana just looks at Troy with a "Shut up" look.
                                                            
                       TROY
I'm just saying. You...You do
realize the sun is up, don't you?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (ignoring Troy)
Let's go around the table and say
something.
      (beat)
I'll start....
      (beat)
We are calling out to the other
side. Take back your demons. We
don't want them here. They don't
belong here.
      (beat)
Vella?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ike? If you're listening. Help us
fight back. Help us push back the
evil. Fight with us. Fight fire
with fire if you have to. I plead.
I beg. I surrender.
            (MORE)

58.

                       VELLA (cont'd)
      (beat)
Tyler?
                                                            
                       TYLER
Purify the souls. Weaken the
strong. Surround the table with
ease. Don't touch my bong. Take it
easy on the Easy Cheese.
      (beat)
Maynard?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Something.
                                                            
                       TROY
Did it work?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I don't know.
                                                            
Suddenly, a familiar laugh fills the room.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Oh shit.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Steve!
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
What's up bitches! Ya miss me?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Who's Steve?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Your motha!
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Where are you Steve? How are you
back?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
You re-released me she-bitch.
Thanks!
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
A re-release? Like an EP?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nevermore!
                                                            

59.

                       TYLER
Quoth the Raven.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Are we really gonna sit here and
listen to the constant ramblings
of someone we cannot see?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nevermore!
                                                            
                       TYLER
Quoth the Raven.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Tyler, why are you helping him?
You are giving him the ammunition
to continuously annoy us.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nevermore!
                                                            
                       TYLER
Quoth the Raven.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (lower)
And my soul from out that shadow
that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted...
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nevermore!
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What is that?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
"The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What does it mean?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
      (mockingly)
What does it mean? What does it
mean?
      (beat)
Quoth the Raven. Who cares? It
means nothing. You humans always
try to put meanings to anything.
Maybe Edgar Allan Poe was a crazy
old pedophile that drank too much.
            (MORE)

60.

                       STEVE (VO) (cont'd)
You ever think of that?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
All the time.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Morgana?
                                                            
Suddenly, Morgana has a cat on her shoulders.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
When did you get a pussy?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (frozen)
I didn't. And shut up. Someone get
this thing off me.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
He's cute.
                                                            
Vella knocks the cat off her shoulders.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Thank you. Having a pussy on your
shoulders is frightening.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Tell me about it.
                                                            
Vella notices Troy is missing.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Troy? Troy!!??
                                                            
She gets up and exits.

Morgana gets up and follows.

Maynard and Tyler look at each other and shrug.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
                                                            
Morgana is holding a flashlight and is slowly moving down
the hallway foot over foot. Vella is right over her
shoulder. They are moving in sync.

When they get to the first bedroom they stop.


61.

From within the bedroom, first Morgana's head pops around
the frame and then Vella's above her.

Morgana waves the flashlight into the room. There's nothing.

Continuing down the hallway, foot over foot, they come to
the bathroom door. It's closed.

Morgana places her head close to the door, listening.

Suddenly, a mist begins to poor from under the door. Morgana
and Vella jump back.

A bang, bang, bang hits the door like the sound of a metal
object knocking on the other side of the door.

Morgana and Vella look at each other and then the hallway
light pops on which makes them scream.

Troy walks into the hallway from the other direction.
                                                            
                       TROY
What are you guys doing?
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (at the same time
       as Morgana)
Troy!
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (at the same time
       as Vella)
Troy!
                                                            
Morgana and Vella rush to hug Troy. They pounce on him like
a wounded animal.

Troy reluctantly accepts the hug. He looks down to notice
the on flashlight.
                                                            
                       TROY
A flashlight? Really?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
It sets the mood.
                                                            
                       TROY
Didn't I just tell you it was day
time?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Where were you?
                                                            

62.

                       TROY
I heard a noise.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You heard a noise? You do realize
there are demons running wild?
                                                            
                       TROY
Yes, of course.
                                                            
                       VELLA
We thought you were taken.
                                                            
                       TROY
Nope. I'm fine.
      (beat)
So Morgana...What was your idea?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Morgana, Troy and Vella are sitting on one couch and Maynard
and Tyler are sitting on the other. The room is silent. They
are waiting.

A flatulent sound fills the air along with a bad smell.
Everyone reacts accordingly.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (covering her nose)
Oh God! Are you kidding me?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (covering his nose)
Who did that?
                                                            
                       TROY
      (covering his nose)
It's like the bog of eternal
stench.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (covering her nose)
It's rotten!
                                                            
                       TYLER
Whoever smelt it, dealt it. Which
is all you muthafuckas.
      (laughs)
                                                            

63.

                       MORGANA
      (covering her nose)
I didn't do it.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (covering his nose)
Neither did I.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (covering her nose)
Girls don't fart.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (covering his nose)
Sure they don't princess.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
      (laughing)
Whoever denied it, applied it.
      (cackles)
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Jesus Christ! You again?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Didn't I tell you he can't help
you, you bile inducing slag worm.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What happened to the nice Steve?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
That was before Elvira called the
wicked witch of the south.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You had to go Steve. You're a
demon. You don't belong here.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
How abouts I take it out on
someone you care about?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Take a guess.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Seriously. Who?
                                                            

64.

                       STEVE (VO)
I'll give you a hint. It has four
legs and furrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You lost me.
                                                            
Morgana looks puzzled.

The sounds of a cat being tortured fill the room.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Nooooo! You leave Mr. Snigglefritz
alone.
                                                            
                       TROY
Mr. Snigglefritz?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Wow. Maynard. Can it be? Do you
actually have a heart?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Everyone in this room knows I love
pussy.
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Feline bestiality. Now that's
gross.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ike!
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
I don't have much time. I've come
to inform you.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Inform us about what?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
This is a personal message for you
Vella.
                                                            
                       VELLA
For me?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Yes. I wanted to give you my
personal word that Troy will be
unharmed. As will the rest of you.
                                                            

65.

                       TROY
How do you know?
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
Blood follows blood. And the blood
that brought the spirits close
will forever remain untainted.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What the fuck does that mean?
                                                            
There is silence where Maynard's answer should be. Ike is
gone.
                                                            
                       TROY
I think he was saying that since
you guys brought them into this
world, they won't hurt you. And
I'm pretty sure that since I'm
related by blood to Vella, they
won't hurt me either.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
That's what you got from that
nonsense?
                                                            
The doorbell rings and Morgana jumps up.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
About time.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You expecting pizza?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Okay. So, the perfect circle idea
was a bust so I called Tyler's
family priest.
                                                            
                       TYLER
You called Father Tyme?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Don't fear the Reaper.
                                                            
                       VELLA
No. No. No. No. No. Father Time is
Kris Kringle.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Isn't that Santa Claus?
                                                            

66.

Morgana huffs and puffs and finally opens the door.

Father Tyme enters. He takes three steps and stops. He spins
around one revolution and then stops. He puts his hand to
his chin.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
I sense a presence in this house.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
No shit Cronus.
                                                            
Morgana gives Maynard a death stare.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Thank you for coming Father. I
don't really know how this works.
I'm usually on the other side of
religion.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
That's okay child. We're all God's
children in his eyes and he will
not judge you.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I'm quite sure that's wrong.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
To quote scripture, I say: For we
must all appear before the
judgment seat of Christ, so that
each one may receive what is due
for what he has done in the body,
whether good or evil. Corinthians
5:10.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
That's the exact opposite of what
you just said.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (to Maynard)
Maynard!
      (whisper)
Enough.
      (to Father Tyme)
Continue Father.
                                                            
Father Tyme pulls a flask of Holy Water out of his pocket.
                                                            

67.

                       MAYNARD
About time he brings out the heavy
shit.
                                                            
Morgana gives Maynard another death stare.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
It's Holy Water to cast out the
demons.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Isn't that for vampires?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
This isn't Twilight Vella.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (laughs)
Vella. It rhymes with Bella.
      (beat)
A tale of a woman who must decide
between bestiality or necrophilia.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Goddamn it Maynard.
      (to Father Tyme)
Sorry Father.
                                                            
Father Tyme just stares at Morgana and then begins to walk
around the living room sprinkling the Holy Water around.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
For if God did not spare angels
when they sinned, but cast them
into hell and committed them to
chains of gloomy darkness to be
kept until the judgment;
      (to Maynard)
Peter 2:4.
                                                            
He keeps walking around the room sprinkling his Holy Water.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
So they shall no more sacrifice
their sacrifices to goat demons,
after whom they whore. This shall
be a statute forever for them
throughout their generations.
Leviticus 17:7
                                                            
He reaches Tyler and stops. He is frozen.
                                                            

68.

                       FATHER TYME
Submit yourselves therefore to
God. Resist the devil, and he will
flee from you. James 4:7
      (leaning closer to
       Tyler, whisper)
You make the Lord very nervous.
                                                            
He flips around to face everyone else.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
I must depart to one of the
bedrooms. I have to become one
with this house. I have to study
this house. Learn it's weaknesses.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I'll save you the time. Shoddy
plumbing and termites.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (giving Maynard
       death stare)
Come on Father. Right this way.
                                                            
The door bust open and Father Tyme's cousin Padre Ryme
enters the house.

Padre Ryme and Father Tyme look identical.
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
Yo, yo, yo, yo! What it be like ya
stanky ho?
                                                            
Father Tyme stops and turns to face his cousin. Morgana is
forced to stop as well.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
And who might this fellow be?
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
And who be's you? Some crazy,
self-policing Jew?
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
      (upset)
He's my cousin, Padre Ryme, who
was supposed to stay in the car.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You guys look like twins.
                                                            

69.

                       FATHER TYME
We're not.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Really? Well then, why don't you
stand next to him?
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
I'd rather not.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
'Cause you can't!
      (turning to Padre
       Ryme)
Can you?
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
What can I say? It's late in the
day.
      (noticing Vella)
Hey, hey, hey! You look
delightfully curvy.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Hey! I'm talking to you.
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
      (to Maynard)
And you....I hope you die from
scurvy.
      (putting his hands
       in the air)
Oh yeah! That's right. The
champion won't give up without a
fight.
                                                            
Father Tyme hangs his head in shame.
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
      (his hand still
       raisied)
Come on Pops. Hit me up tops.
                                                            
Father Tyme shakes his head.
                                                            
                       PADRE RYME
Come on mizouse, high five me up
in this hizouse.
                                                            
Father Tyme finally giving in high fives Padre Ryme.

From another angle, a hand, obviously not Father Tyme's
comes in for the high five.
                                                            

70.

                       MAYNARD
That's a neat trick. Bet you can't
do it the same shot.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
I'm done with these shenanigans.
                                                            
Morgana leads Father Tyme away down the hall.

Everyone turns to watch Morgana and Father Tyme. When they
turn back, Padre Ryme is gone.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Guess he's demon scat by now. Good
thing to. He was beginning to
annoy me.
                                                            
                       TROY
Maynard. Why do you have to be
such an asshole?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Why do you have to be such a suck
up?
                                                            
                       VELLA
Can we just get along?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Be careful Vella. Those who talk
peace on Earth usually get
ass-ass-inated right in the head.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Like this?!
                                                            
A gun shot goes off right next to Maynard's head. He jumps
back.

Steve is laughing hysterically.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What the fuck?!!!!
      (beat)
Damn you Scuba Steve!
                                                            
                       TYLER
You deserved that.
      (beat)
Hell five!
                                                            
Tyler puts his hand up and high fives the air. The sound of
another hand slapping his is heard.
                                                            

71.

                       TROY
Tyler. Did you just high five the
demon?
                                                            
                       TYLER
What are you talking about?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Time has passed.

Morgana, Troy and Vella are on one couch. Maynard and Tyler
on the other.

Troy looks at his phone. Maynard checks his. They are
obviously bored.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What's taking him so long?
                                                            
After a few more moments of waiting, Morgana gives up and
stands up.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I'm not waiting anymore.
                                                            
Morgana heads towards the hallway. The rest stand up and
follow.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Everyone is scrunched up in the hallway outside the bedroom
door. Morgana's hand is on the knob.
                                                            
                       TYLER
If he's hanging from a noose,
let's act surprised.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (nodding at
       Maynard.)
Tyler. From him I'd expect it.
                                                            
                       TROY
Morg. Open the door.
                                                            

72.

Morgana slowly opens the door to reveal Father Tyme with his
priest shirt on but jogging shorts on the bottom and a sweat
band around his head. He is doing jumping jacks.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What the hell are you doing?
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
Exercising the demons. What's it
look like?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
1 and 2 and 1 and 2 and 1...
                                                            
Morgana comes rushing into the room.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (grabbing Father
       Tyme)
Okay you're done Padre.
                                                            
She begins pushing him out of the room.
                                                            
                       FATHER TYME
Wait. Wait. Wait. I'm the Father.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
And I'm the mother. We're all
brother and sister. Yadda yadda
yadda.
                                                            
She pushes him past the others who make like the Red Sea and
part ways.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
                                                            
With the front door open, Morgana gives a heavy shove to
Father Tyme trying to get him through the force field.

He slams against it and falls to the ground.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
He's not gonna passing through it.
                                                            
                       TROY
Thanks for the update Mr.
Fuckdoodle.
                                                            
Father Tyme cowers in the corner.
                                                            

73.

                       VELLA
What do we do with him?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I have an idea.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Father Tyme is sitting in the closet. Two teddy bears sit on
his shoulders.

Morgana is holding the door open.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Now you be a good boy and stay in
there. Okay?
                                                            
Father Tyme whimpers like a puppy.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
Don't you leave me in here with
this asshole.
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
It's okay dad. He's here to help.
                                                            
Morgana rolls her eyes and shuts the door.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What do we do now Morg?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
I don't know. We still have no
idea what Mike's deed is.
                                                            
Morgana looks down at her boots. The business card from
before is seen poking from the top. She reaches down and
retrieves the card. She holds it up in the air.

Troy snatches it and begins to read it. He looks up.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Morgana and Vella are sitting on the couch. Maynard and Troy
are on the other couch. Tyler is not around.

They are waiting on their guest.

Vella gets a tickle in her shoe. She begins waving her leg
until she can grab her shoe.
                                                            

74.

                       VELLA
Ike? Is that you?
                                                            
Everyone in silence. Vella is confused.

The TV turns on and the static raises their attention.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
      (from Poltergeist)
They're here!
                                                            
                       VELLA
Ike?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Guess again pinche.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Where's Ike?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Gone. Forever gone.
                                                            
                       VELLA
      (standing up)
Who sent him away? Was it you?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Nooooooo. It wasn't me! It twas
the night before Christmas. And
all through the house...not a
creature was stirring....except a
certain man of the cloth slash
yoga instructor.......mouse.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Is he talking about that shithead,
Father Tyme?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
It's pronounced shi-thead. Learn
the right character names. Jeez.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What's he talking about?
                                                            
                       TROY
I don't know. I think there was
some movie that came out last
summer that that was from.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
Very good Helen of Troy.
                                                            

75.

                       VELLA
Steve!
      (beat)
What happened to Ike?
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
All of Shi-thead's Holy Watering.
That's what happened. Cleansed Ike
right out of this universe.
                                                            
Everyone looks confused.

A knock at the door breaks the confusion.

Morgana goes to answer the door.

She opens it and a man wearing a jumpsuit and a bug sprayer
enters the house.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You're The Exterminator?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Yup. First name The. Last name
Extermin. Nickname Ator.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
You're a fucking loon.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
That's why I get paid the big
bucks. Speaking of...
      (rubbing his
       fingers together)
Moneys upfront please.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (retreiving money
       from her bra)
Here Jew.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
I'm Presbyterian thank you.
                                                            
The Exterminator puts the money in his pocket and steps into
the living room. He sprays one corner with "water" and then
begins moving to the other.

As the conversation moves on, he continues to spray.
                                                            
                       VELLA
What is that stuff you're
spraying?
                                                            

76.

                       THE EXTERMINATOR
It's a special juice I concocted
myself. The recipe goes like this.
      (beat)
1 Kool-Aid packet,
1/4 tsp Morton Lite salt,
1/4 tsp sea salt,
1/2 cup sugar,
and of course, 2 quarts water.
                                                            
                       TROY
Isn't that the recipe to Gatorade?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Negative Ghost Rider. It's the
recipe to Hydrogen 2 parts Oxygen.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Isn't that 2 parts Hydrogen, 1
part Oxygen?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Then it would be 2H20. Water
squared.
                                                            
                       TROY
What if you added Michael Myers 20
years later?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Then it would most definitely be
H20.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Guys! Seriously? I think we have
bigger fish to fry here.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
You're frying fish? I love fish.
What kind? My favorite is blue
whale.
                                                            
                       TROY
Whales aren't fish.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
I thought that was dolphins.
                                                            
                       TROY
Both actually.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Guys!
                                                            

77.

                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Hey Jefe, I'm all done in here.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Well there's more house. Keep
going.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Right. Moving on.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - EVENING
                                                            
The Exterminator is spraying the kitchen.

Morgana, Vella and Maynard are standing back. Troy is
standing next to The Exterminator.
                                                            
                       TROY
Are you sure you know what you're
doing?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Kid. I've been doing this since
before your mother had a tickle in
her tummy.
                                                            
                       TROY
Kid? I'm 30. You don't look much
older than that.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
I'm 72 years old. I age good.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
So how did you get started in this
business?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
When I was younger, my father
wanted me to grow up and take over
his business. And no, this wasn't
his business.
                                                            
As they speak, The Exterminator sprays.

Troy keeps moving to get out of the way. He stops right in
front of the back door.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What was his business?
                                                            

78.

                       THE EXTERMINATOR
He was an exterminator.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Ha. I get it. AN exterminator. THE
exterminator. Way to one up the
pop.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
That was not my intention.
                                                            
As he keeps talking, The Exterminator begins to spray Troy
right in the face. While he talks, he keeps spraying.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
You see. My dad was very motivated
and I just didn't want what he
did. I wanted to hunt ghosts. I
wanted to be a paranormal
investigator.
      (beat)
So I took the knowledge he did
teach me and applied it to the
dark arts.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (to Maynard)
See?! I told you it was art.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (finally moving)
Seriously? During your whole
heartfelt story you didn't realize
you were spraying me in the face?
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Oh I realized.
                                                            
                       TROY
That's it. Spray the rest of the
house. We're all going into the
living room. Come get us when
you're done.
                                                            
                       VELLA
But we always just sit and wait in
the living room.
                                                            
                       TROY
Well this time is going to be no
different.
                                                            

79.

Troy storms past everyone back towards the living room.

Morgana, Vella and Maynard look at each other and then at
The Exterminator. They shrug and follow Troy.

The Exterminator is left in sadness. He begins to sing
"Nobody Knows."
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - EVENING
                                                            
The Exterminator is spraying the hallway.

He hears a faint "la la la". His curiosity peaks.

He nears the first bedroom. He places his hand on the knob
and enters the bedroom.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. BEDROOM - EVENING
                                                            
As The Exterminator enters the bedroom, he sees Tyler in the
corner with his back to him.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
Hello?
                                                            
There's no answer as Tyler does not move. The Exterminator
inches closer.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
      (forceful)
Hello?
                                                            
He gets right behind Tyler. His shaky hand finally comes to
rest on Tyler's shoulder.
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR
      (whisper)
Hello?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. LIVING ROOM - EVENING
                                                            
Morgana and Vella are sitting on one couch. Maynard and Troy
are on the other.


80.

A scream fills the room. The Exterminator is heard screaming
"I've been exterminated!"

They all look at each other and jump up.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Not again.
                                                            
Morgana runs towards the hallway. The rest follow.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. HALLWAY - EVENING
                                                            
Morgana gets to the first bedroom's door. The rest pile up
behind her.

She throws the door open.

From within the bedroom, everyone screams in the doorway.

Tyler is sitting among the remains of The Exterminator. He
is hunched over like a wild animal gnawing on an arm. Blood
covers his mouth.

He looks up like a baby and beckons to the others to join
him.

Everyone at the door is in shock. Troy slams the door shut.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What the fuck? Just....what the
fuck?
                                                            
                       TROY
It's safe to say Tyler isn't Tyler
anymore.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Well then who the hell is he?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Hannibal Lector obviously.
                                                            
                       TROY
He has to be possessed.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Possessed? No. It can't be. Not
him.
                                                            

81.

                       VELLA
What do we do?
                                                            
                       TROY
Let's...get him.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Yeah, 'cause that worked so well
for the Ghostbusters.
                                                            
                       TROY
Well what would you suggest?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (thinking)
I know. Lets......get him!
                                                            
Troy just stares at Maynard.

After a few moments of awkwardness, Maynard leads the charge
and throws the bedroom door open. Vella follows, then Troy
and finally Morgana.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler is tied down to the bed.

Morgana and Troy are on the right side of the bed. Maynard
and Vella are on the left side.

As Tyler speaks, Mike's voice is heard.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!
                                                            
                       TROY
We're already gonna start with
that?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Let Jesus fuck you, let Jesus fuck
you! Let him fuck you!
                                                            
                       TROY
Are you really just gonna keep
quoting "The Exorcist"?
                                                            

82.

                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
How 'bout this?
      (beat)
This isn't for your eyes!
                                                            
                       TROY
What the hell does that mean?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
No tears, please. It's a waste of
good suffering.
                                                            
                       TROY
Who's suffering? You're the one
being restrained.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
We'll tear your soul apart!
                                                            
                       TROY
You're losing me.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Ah, the suffering. The sweet,
sweet suffering.
                                                            
                       TROY
Really? With the suffering again.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
The box. You opened it. We came.
Now you must come with us, taste
our pleasures.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (kill sign)
Yeah. I'm 86'd. Done. Gone. Kaput.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Jesus wept?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Ding ding ding ding. What do we
have for her Johnny?
                                                            
Everyone turns and looks at Vella.
                                                            

83.

                       VELLA
"Hellraiser". You never caught
that flick?
      (beat)
Too bad. Good movie.
                                                            
                       TROY
Can we stop quoting movies here?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
EXT. MORGANA'S HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Outside the house, a car pulls up and parks along the curb
in front of the mailbox.

Two people, a man and a woman exit the vehicle. The man
exits from the driver's side and the woman from the
passenger side. He walks around the front of the vehicle and
joins his wife.
                                                            
                       ED
Is this the address?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
It appears so. It looks just like
it did in my dream.
                                                            
                       ED
Are you sure? It's dark as Nigeria
out here.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
I'm sure.
                                                            
                       ED
Well let's go introduce ourselves
then.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Wait.
      (beat)
Something's not right.
                                                            
                       ED
What is it?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
My feeling is strong. Stronger
than Amityville.
                                                            

84.

                       ED
Stronger than Amityville? Are you
sure?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
We have to be prepared. These
people are in grave danger.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Tyler is still strapped to the bed.

The others are gathered around him.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Have you finished the deed?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
You never told us the deed?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
That's right. How silly of me.
      (laughs)
                                                            
                       TROY
What's funny?
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
You humans. You scurry around like
little ants following your God to
certain annihilation. You have no
clue what is really going on.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What's really going on then smart
ass?
                                                            
Ed and Lorraine enter the bedroom. She is first with her
husband close behind. She is holding a cross up and pointed
at the bed.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Maxine Stewart! Leave this house
immediately.
                                                            
Tyler starts convulsing.
                                                            

85.

                       MAYNARD
Who are you people?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
      (pointing at Tyler)
That's Michelangelo.
                                                            
                       ED
Stand back. Let Lorraine work.
                                                            
Lorraine steps a little closer to Tyler. He is still
convulsing.

Suddenly, he stops. She takes a step back.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Maxine?
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Well hello there Lorraine. Long
time.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What's going on?
                                                            
                       ED
More than you realize.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Who are you?
                                                            
                       ED
My name is Edward Warren. That's
my wife Lorraine. We're here to
cleanse your house and rid you of
this pesky bitch.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What pesky bitch? Maxine isn't the
problem.
                                                            
Maynard gets thrown back into the closet and the door slams.

Lorraine gets thrown back into the bathroom and the door
slams.

Vella rushes to Maynard's aid trying to get the door open.

Ed rushes to Lorraine's aid trying to get the door open.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Maynard!
                                                            

86.

                       ED
Lorraine!
      (trying to get the
       door open)
Hold him down!
                                                            
As Tyler is convulsing, Troy and Morgana hold him down on
the bed.

Tyler looks over to Ed. Mike and Max's voice is heard
simultaneously.
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Your wife is a whore!
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Your wife is a whore!
                                                            
Troy and Morgana look at each other then back down to Tyler.
Tyler looks up at Morgana.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (as TYLER)
All of your friends are in here
with me.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What's going on Ed?
                                                            
Dave, Richard and Mike's voice are heard simultaneously.
                                                            
                       DAVE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
You're all going to die down here!
                                                            
                       RICHARD (VO)
      (as TYLER)
You're all going to die down here!
                                                            
                       MIKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
You're all going to die down here!
                                                            
                       ED
      (trying to get the
       door open)
Hey! Girlie! You need to go to the
kitchen and grab a glass of milk.
                                                            
                       VELLA
A glass of milk?
                                                            

87.

                       ED
      (trying to get the
       door open)
Trust me. Your friend will be
fine. Go get it.
                                                            
Vella leaves the closet door. Maynard is still heard banging
on it, trying to get out.

Tyler looks up at Troy.

Lucy, The Exterminator and Max's voice are heard
simultaneously.
                                                            
                       LUCY (VO)
      (as TYLER)
We all float down here!
                                                            
                       THE EXTERMINATOR (VO)
      (as TYLER)
We all float down here!
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (as TYLER)
We all float down here!
                                                            
                       TROY
Aw Jesus! Stop with the quotes.
                                                            
                       STEVE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
We are Legion for we are many!
                                                            
                       IKE (VO)
      (as TYLER)
Sorry chaps. He speakth the truth.
                                                            
                       TROY
Ike? What the hell?
                                                            
                       ED
      (trying to get the
       door open)
Don't fall for her tricks!
      (to Vella
       offscreen)
Hurry up with the milk!
                                                            
Vella enters with the glass of milk.
                                                            
                       ED
      (trying to get the
       door open)
Good. You got milk. Now you're
            (MORE)

88.

                       ED (cont'd)
gonna have to force feed it to
her. She's not gonna like it.
                                                            
Vella brings the glass over to Morgana and together they
bring the glass of milk closer to Tyler's mouth.
                                                            
                       MAX (VO)
      (as TYLER)
No. No. No. You get that white
shit away from me.
                                                            
They get the glass to Tyler's lips. He won't drink it.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Come on Tyler. Down the hatch.
                                                            
She holds his nose until he opens his mouth. She pours the
milk in.
                                                            
                       ED
      (trying to get the
       door open)
That should be enough.
                                                            
Tyler begins convulsing like he's dying. He acks and yelps
like a dying animal. His eyes close and he is silent.

The closet door opens releasing Maynard.

The bathroom door opens releasing Lorraine.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What the fuck!!!!!!!!
                                                            
                       ED
      (embracing
       Lorraine)
Honey. You okay?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
I'm fine. Nothing we haven't come
across before.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Is he dead?
                                                            
                       ED
Far from it. She is comatose for
the moment.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Maxine is lactose intolerant.
                                                            

89.

                       MORGANA
Lactose intolerant? Who the hell
are you people?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Morgana, Troy, Maynard and Vella are seated at the dining
room table.

Ed and Lorraine are leaning against the kitchen counter.
                                                            
                       ED
Did you guys actually create a
perfect circle?
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Yes. We did.
                                                            
                       ED
Why would you do that? Why would
you mess with the supernatural?
                                                            
                       VELLA
It was Morgana's idea.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Vella! Really?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Look! You guys need to stop
fighting. There's so much more
going on here then you can
comprehend.
      (beat)
You probably think there are
multiple entities in this house,
don't you?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What's an N-tittie? Is that like a
black girl's boob?
                                                            
                       TROY
Seriously Maynard. Can you focus?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
There is one entity in this house.
One. And she's a major bitch.
                                                            

90.

                       MORGANA
Maxine?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Yes. Maxine Stewart. This isn't
the first place I've tracked her
to.
                                                            
                       VELLA
But what about Ike? He's been
helping me and my brother for
years.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
He is Maxine.
                                                            
                       TROY
So you mean to tell me that she's
been following us for years.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
No. She's only made you think she
has.
                                                            
                       VELLA
I'm lost.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
She altered your perception and
memory. Everything in this house
the past 24 hours wasn't real.
Including your memory of the past.
                                                            
                       TROY
That's confusing.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
What about that crazy painter guy?
Michelangelo?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
That was also Maxine.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Crazy ass Steve?
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
      (shaking her head
       "Yes")
Maxine.
                                                            

91.

                       ED
You see guys. You woke her up. She
was dormant, lying forever within
some object inside this house.
She's been here the whole time.
Your little circle idea is what
awoke her.
                                                            
                       VELLA
See! I told you that it was a bad
idea.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Don't forget Vella. It was
originally your idea.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
      (to Vella)
Whaaaaaat? And after all the shit
you gave her. Jeez.
                                                            
                       VELLA
Shut up Maynard.
                                                            
                       TROY
      (to Ed)
So Ed...What do we do now?
                                                            
                       ED
There's three steps to a demonic
possession.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
So she is a demon.
                                                            
                       ED
Yes. She is a demon.
      (beat)
The first step is infestation.
After the circle, she began to
infest this house, throwing around
her voice and making it seem that
there were more entities than
there really were. Second step is
oppression. She beat back your
will and took your friends,
absorbing them, searching for the
weakest link.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Tyler?
                                                            

92.

                       ED
That would seem to prove accurate.
Yes.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Pussy.
                                                            
                       TROY
One more outburst from you and I
will feed you to the demon.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
What's the third step?
                                                            
Lorraine looks at Ed uneasily and then over to Morgana.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
Possession itself. However, thank
God, we had perfect timing for
your friend is only in the early
stages of possession.
                                                            
                       TROY
So I'll ask again...What do we do
now?
                                                            
                       ED
We exorcise her.
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Weight lifting or cardio?
                                                            
                       TROY
That joke's played out Maynard.
                                                            
                       LORRAINE
If that doesn't work, which there
is a chance of it not, then we
have to find her conduit.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Conduit?
                                                            
                       ED
The object tying her to this
house.
                                                            
                       MORGANA
Any idea what it could be?
                                                            
                       ED
No clue. Could be anything from a
toy to a hair brush.
                                                            

93.

                       MORGANA
      (deep in thought)
Hair brush?
                                                            
                       ED
Does that ring a bell?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Before Tyler was possessed, he
told me that Maxine's parents
tried to raise her soul into a
doll.
                                                            
                       ED
Like "Child's Play"?
                                                            
                       MAYNARD
Exactly like "Child's Play"
except...
      (beat)
...not.
                                                            
                       ED
You've lost me.