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All about the Washingtons
by Chris (cbax123@hotmail.com)

Rated: PG-13   Genre: Comedy   User Review: ****
A comedy about two homeless men who find overnight riches but realize that money may come with unforeseen consequences


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

EXT. PACIFIC BEACH BOARDWALK - MORNING
                                                            
Opening Credits over soft acoustic rock music. Scenic shots
of the beach and large houses are shown giving us the
expectation of a tranquil yet wealthy beach community. Three
beautiful women walk by revealing two homeless men sitting
on a cardboard box. There is a dog and shopping carts next
to them.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I wish somebody would put one of
those in my cup.
                                                            
Chuck, holding his decayed cup of change, continues to stare
at the woman. Near to drooling he is completely immersed in
their beauty.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Unless you change your last name
to Heffner or Oprah decides to do
a show on Pacific Beach, the
closest that girls getting to a
cup of yours would be to scoop you
mashed potatoes at soup kitchen.
                                                            
Chuck turns to face Thurgood putting his hands on his hips.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
First of all Thurgood my
invitation to the Playboy Mansion
got lost in the mail. Second of
all bro I dont eat the mashed
potatoes at soup kitchen after the
incident involving the bipolar
lady with the..
                                                            
Chuck symbols the quotation marks gesture with both hands.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Canker Sores.
                                                            
Thurgood shakes his head from side to side looking slightly
puzzeled.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
First of all "Bro" you don't eat
the mashed potatoes because your
not allowed to. Every time they
run out of gravy you threaten to
piss in the potatoes. Second of
all you didn't get an invitation
            (MORE)

2.

                       THURGOOD (cont'd)
because we..
                                                            
Thurgood draws his face close into Chucks.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Don't have a fucking mailbox.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Hey Mr. high and mighty you try
eating mashed potatoes without
gravy. Its like eating a
cheeseburger without the burger.
                                                            
Chuck modifies his voice to resemble a noticeably higher
pitch.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Hi yes I'd like a double
cheeseburger, hold the burger,
just give me a 3 slices of swiss
cheese.
                                                            
Thurgood starts lightly tossing dollar bills and change out
of his cup.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Look at all this chump change. If
I could just get a benjamin we
could buy the good stuff.
                                                            
Chuck cracks open a beer.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ah ya like Kraft.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
We can even make our Gravy from
home. Oh wait I forgot no we can't
cuz we don't have a fucking
kitchen.
                                                            
Chuck appears confused.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Whats a Benjamin?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A hundred dollar bill Chuck.
                                                            
Still befuddled, Chuck glances into his cup that has all
change and a single dollar bill.
                                                            

3.

                       CHUCK
Whats a hundred dollar bill?
                                                            
A man is walking the Boulevard in the direction of Thurgood
and Chuck. He is wearing an expensive suit and talking on a
cell phone with a McDonalds cheeseburger in his hand.
                                                            
Thurgood rises his head in excitement.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Uuuw a suit. Chuck time to put the
homeless in homeless bum.
                                                            
Thurgood takes out a sign that says "Spare Change Please."
Chuck takes out a sign that says "Tequila fund."
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Help me out my brother?
                                                            
The man in the suit is startled by Thurgood and jumps back.
Instantaneously he throws a soda and a half eaten
cheeseburger at Thurgood.
                                                            
                       GUY IN SUIT
Ah! Get lost bum.
                                                            
Chuck who finishes off his beer begins to wobble back and
forth and lets out a resounding burp.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I am lost.
                                                            
Thurgood puts his head in his lap.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Chuck You live right there in that
cardboard box.
                                                            
Chuck smiles and lightly shakes his cup full of change.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
And I'm saving up for an addition.
Possibly a dining area or second
bedroom.
                                                            
Thurgood still has his head in his lap.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Who cares with our financial
skills we couldn't even afford a
toolshed.
                                                            

4.

                       CHUCK
Ohh c'mon cheer up Thur.
                                                            
Thurgood glances into his cup.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
If I get 50 more cents to buy a
bud light I'll cheer up.
                                                            
Chuck stares into his cup as he takes a bite of the burger
then man threw at Thurgood.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well I'm only about about three
dollars from a bottle of whiskey.
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck simultaneously raise their glasses in the
air.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Cheers.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Cheers.
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks at a man jogging by.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey this guy looks generous.
                                                            
Thurgood pulls out a sign that says "Help feed the
homeless." Chuck pulls out a sign that says "I can't get
drunk for free." Chuck begins to shake his cup.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
What do you say sir?
                                                            
                       GENEROUS GUY
      (screaming)
Get a fucking job!
                                                            
The man boots the cup right out of chuck's hands, resembling
a field goal kicker. The cup goes flying 20 feet down the
road and change scatters everywhere. Chuck does not appear
in the slightest to be upset.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Now im four dollars short of a
bottle of whiskey.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What kind of whiskey do you buy?
                                                            

5.

                       CHUCK
Oh its homemade.
                                                            
A woman walking by drops fifty cents in Thurgoods change
cup.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Gracias.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Speak American.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Im a quarter Mexican man.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
What really?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya I've told you this a million
times. I just dont look hispanic.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
That doesn't make any sense.
                                                            
Thurgood is counting the change in his cup.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
4.50 and 5. Finally some money to
spend. Here Kensington.
                                                            
Thurgoods dog Kensington runs up to him from behind the
cart.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Where you headed?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I don't know probably Whisker
biscuits.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Oh Wisker Biscuits, I'm not
allowed there after the incident.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Another life ban?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
6 month ban, and a pending
indecent exposure court case.
                                                            

6.

                       THURGOOD
Why does that always keep
happening?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well apparently flashing the
bartender "doesnt" get everybody
a free drink. Umm and you're not
allowed to pull down your pants in
a bar full of adults. Such
prejudice. Obama and his rules.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Prejudice?
                                                            
Chuck turns and looks at Thurgood then speaks up with
conviction.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ya against homeless people.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Or maybe against people that pull
down there pants in a bar.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Either way its prejudice.
                                                            
Thurgood walks off with his shopping cart and Kensington. As
Thurgood walks off he sees two parents walking with a child.
He begins to day dream.
                                                            
 
INT. LUXURIOUS HOUSE-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
FLASHBACK: Thurgood is visably younger with a clean shave
and dressed in a suit. He stands by the kitchen table
eating a bowl of cereal. A young girl runs into the room.
                                                            
                       THURGOODS DAUGHTER
Dad are you coming to my recital
today?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Of course hunny I wouldnt miss it
for..
                                                            
Thurgood's Cell phone rings and he picks up before he is
able to finish talking to his daughter. He seems concerned
when listening to the person on the other line.
                                                            

7.

                       THURGOOD
Of course sir. Right away. No
problem sir. Yup I'll be right
there.
                                                            
Thurgood hangs up the phone.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey hunny I don't think I'll be
able to make this one. Some things
came up at work and im going to
have to stay late again.
                                                            
Thurgoods daughter is visably dissapointed but tries not to
show it emotionally.
                                                            
                       THURGOODS DAUGHTER
Thats okay Dad have fun at work.
                                                            
Thurgoods daughter gives him a kiss on the cheek and leaves
the room. A lady walks in the room.
                                                            
                       THURGOODS WIFE
Babe, you promised her you would
go.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I know but I can't hunny a few
things came up at work. You know
I'm making a good living at this
job and I don't want to mess that
up. People are starting to really
respect me there.
                                                            
                       THURGOODS WIFE
Your co-workers respect you...but
your loosing the respect of your
own daughter.
                                                            
Thurgood grabs an apple. Gives his wife a kiss on the cheek
and starts to walk out. He Rubs a puppy version of
Kensignton on the head.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I'll make the next one.
                                                            
 
EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is bumped by an elderly woman on a motorized cart.
                                                            

8.

                       ELDERLY WOMAN
Get out of the way you fucking
moran.
                                                            
Thurgood beings to walk down the boardwalk, pushing his
shopping cart, with Kensington. They begin to walk into a
bar.
                                                            
                       BOUNCER 1
No dogs!
                                                            
Thurgood is shoved out of the bar by a bouncer. Thurgood and
Kensington walk to the next bar. Thurgood picks up a few
cans along the way. At the next bar they are instantly
approached by a bouncer.
                                                            
                       WAITRESS 1
No homeless people!
                                                            
Thurgood continues to walk.
                                                            
 
INT. WISKER BISCUITS - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood walks into Wisker Biscuits. He sits at the bar
with Kensington next to a fancy dressed man and a beautiful
woman that appear to be together. The gentlemen puts a 100$
bill on the bar.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
One martini with your finest
liquor and a glass of Chardonnay
for the lady.
                                                            
Thurgood empties his change cup on the bar.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
One draft beer with your finest
hops and a glass of water...
                                                            
Thurgood looks at kensington.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
For the lady.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (Whispering)
Bartender, can you make that beer
in a can. I can get 5 cents for
that.
                                                            
Bartender shakes head in disbelief and begins to walk away.
Fancy dressed guy and beautiful women stare at Thurgood.
                                                            

9.

                       THURGOOD
Sir can i ask you what you do for
a job?
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
I buy and sell different
commodities on Wall Street, and
you sir?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I collect and sell different
commodities on this street right
here.
                                                            
Thurgood points out to street.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Ahhh commodities such as
corporations and real estate.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Occasionally. More along the lines
of elements and minerals.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Ahhh i see such as Gold and
Diamonds.
                                                            
Thurgood glances at his bottles he just picked up off the
ground.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Mainly aluminum and plastic.
                                                            
The bartender comes back and puts the drinks on the table.
The fancy dressed guys blackberry starts to ring and he
stares at the screen.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Our investment just sold at a
profit. I just got paid!
                                                            
Thurgood look at his can of beer. Focusing in on the
Redeemable in NH, ME or CA logo.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Techinically i just got paid as
well.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Ahh Join me in a toast. Here is to
money. I drink the most exquisite
drinks.
                                                            

10.

The fancy dressed guy takes a sip of his martini. Thurgood
looks at his can of beer that says "cheap ass beer" on the
logo and takes a sip.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
I wear the fanciest clothes.
                                                            
The fancy dressed guy tightens his tie. Thurgood looks at
his beat up dirty shirt. He pulls a loose torn piece of
cloth that has exposed some skin and tucks it back in to
where it used to be.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
I drive the rarest cars equipped
with a state of the art key
system. Alarm, seat belt and
windshield cutters in case of
emergency.
                                                            
The fancy dressed guy clicks a clicker to a Mercedes Benz
out in the parking lot. Shows clicker with alarm, winshield
and seatbelt cutters for emergencies.
                                                            
Chuck happens to walk by outside singing and pushing a
shopping cart.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I dont know many people that drive
that.
                                                            
Thurgood shows the fancy dressed guy his hands which are
completely empty.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Keyless.
                                                            
Chuck is signing pushing the shopping cart.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
And of course I can do this with
the most beautiful women in the
world.
                                                            
Fancy dressed guy kisses the beautiful woman next to him on
the lips. Thurgood turns and looks at Kensington.
                                                            
                       KENSINGTON
euuuuuuurrrrr?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well she has'nt brushed her teeth
today.
                                                            

11.

Thurgood sneakily smells his own breath.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (mumbling under
       own breath)
Neither have I.
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Oh my goodness. I must get going.
My sons polo match is at a quarter
past the hour and the horses have
not been groomed and properly
primped.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Po-o-o-olo?
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Heres a 50 as a tip.
                                                            
The fancy dressed gentlmen pulls a 50 dollar bill out of his
pocket and puts it on the bar and leaves with the beautiful
woman.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well I have got to go as well. I
have a polo mash.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
Did you say Hobo Rash. Showing us
it wont get you a free drink like
your friend Chuck.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I said Polo Ma-a-tch.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
No you don't.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well no but i have an appointment
to have my dog primped.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
No you dont.
                                                            
Thurgood pets Kensignton
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
OK well this quarter past the hour
I need to go ask people for
quarters this hour because we
need to be groomed since one of us
and possibly both potentially have
            (MORE)

12.

                       THURGOOD (cont'd)
fleas.
                                                            
Thurgood throws two quarters on the bar.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Heres a 50 as a tip.
                                                            
Kensington is sipping the water.
                                                            
Thurgood is pushed out of the bar by a bouncer. A flyer
catches his eye.
                                                            
 
EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
A flyer hanging outside a building catches Thurgoods eye. He
grabs it off the wall and begins to read it.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What is this. Pacific Beach
Marathon? Cash money prizes?
                                                            
Thurgood looks at the flyer and it says 1st Place 50,000
dollars.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Impossible I've never won anything
in my whole life.
                                                            
Thurgood looks at flyer and it says second place New BMW.
Thurgood dazes off.
                                                            
 
INT. BMW DEALERSHIP-DAY DREAM - DAY
                                                            
The BMW trunk is open and Chuck is struggleing to fit his
shopping cart in the trunk. It clearly is to large to fit
into the trunk
                                                            
 
EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No that wont work, its just to
impractical.
                                                            
Thurgood looks at flyer and it says third place Vacation to
a private island. Thurgood begins to daze off again.
                                                            
 

13.

EXT. PRIVATE TROPICAL ISLAND-DAY DREAM - DAY
                                                            
Chuck is sitting by himself on an island holding out a
change cup with no change in it. Nobody is walking by and he
has a distraught look on his face.
                                                            
 
EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A private island is no place for
the homeless.
                                                            
Thurgood scrolls down on the flyer. It reads 12th place 20
dollar gift certificate to Mcdonalds. Thurgoods face lights
up with excitement and he begins to daze off.
                                                            
 
INT. MCDONALDS-DAY DREAM - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood has 15 Fish filets and is throwing french fries in
the air. He is going through different sauces as if none of
them are good for his fine aquired taste.
                                                            
 
EXT. BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
OOOh yah.
                                                            
Thurgood looks at flyer. It says Cash prizes to each
division. Mens, Womens, 17 and younger male/female,
wheelchair, homeless.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Perfect.
                                                            
Two severely Obese men come up to Thurgood.
                                                            
                       OBESE GUY
The Pacific Beach Marathon. Ran
that last year, a lot of fun.
                                                            
                       SUPER OBESE GUY
Ya we did pretty well 5th and 6th
place.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
You guys got 5th and 6th place,
how is that possible?
                                                            

14.

                       OBESE GUY
Our times were 18 hours and 46 and
a half hours but there were only 7
people in our age group and the
seventh was a pregnant lady who
went into labor right before Mile
3.
                                                            
                       SUPER OBESE GUY
I beat her at the finish line.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
12th place here I come.
                                                            
Thurgood walks off. We hear a soft acoustic song.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOOD'S CARBOARD BOX MAKESHIFT HOME. - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood arrives at his carboard box and sees a pretty woman
yelling at Chuck.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Why would you sue me I barely
touched you.
                                                            
                       PRETTY WOMAN
You groped me!
                                                            
Chuck puts up both arms in the I am innocent stance. Then
appears confused.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Wait did you say grope or soap?
                                                            
Chuck sniffs his armpits, and is taken aback.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Sorry about my friend. You
probably cant tell but hes been
drinking.
                                                            
Chuck lets out a resounding burp and begins to wobble back
and forth.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Do you have any extra change?
                                                            
The woman looks repulsed.
                                                            

15.

                       PRETTY WOMAN
Eww get away from me, I've been to
petting zoo's that smell better
then you.
                                                            
The Pretty woman walks away. Chucks turns and looks at her.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
You can pet me if you want.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey chuck forget about her we
don't need her or her change.
Check this out!
                                                            
Thurgood hands Chuck the flyer for the marathon.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Whats this another restraining
order?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No much better, a race, and if I
get 12th place then we can eat
face. Check it out 12th place.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Sweet santa clause shits that's
enough crispy ranch snack wraps to
last me till the mayans blow up
the world in 2012.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
You do know its 2014 and The
mayans just predicted the end of
the world. They wernt actually
going to blow it up.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Who's blowing it up then Dr Evil?
                                                            
Thurgood just blankly stares at Chuck.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Newt Ginrich?
                                                            
Thurgood points and looks in the distance.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Chuck there she is the love of my
life.
                                                            
Chuck grabs Thurgood and appears excited.
                                                            

16.

                       CHUCK
Is it New Ginrich?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
The future mother of my children.
Careen Mcbeth.
                                                            
A drop dead gorgeous woman is walking down the street.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
My future ex-wife. I cant wait to
give her half my assets.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
hmmm i wonder what shes gonna
choose the carboard box or six
pack of beer.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
      (under breath)
Great these fucking idiots.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Good morning gorgeous.
                                                            
Careen gives Thurgood a half-hearted forced smile .
                                                            
                       CHUCK
If I had a nickel everytime I saw
a girl as beautiful as you..Id
have 5 cents.
                                                            
Chuck looks down at his near empty cup.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
And that nickel would double my
net worth.
                                                            
Careen takes her earbud headphones out of her ears.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
The cops have already warned you
about talking to me.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Whens our date beautiful.
                                                            
Careen points to the shopping cart.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Are you picking me up in that
thing?
                                                            

17.

                       THURGOOD
It has power steering and fits
two.
                                                            
Careen looks unimpressed.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
And that's what your wearing?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey this is designer. You see
anybody else with stains like
this.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Who designed it?
                                                            
Thurgood looks at the tag on the inside of his shirt.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Walmart.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
And where would we even eat that
you could afford. Soup kitchen?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well if our date is on Tuesday or
Thursday between 5 and 8 pm then
yes thats exactly where we'll be
going.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Call me when you can afford a real
date with me, in a real car, and
wear some real clothes.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
So it looks like i'll be the one
taking you on a date then.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Id rather get double teamed by
Joseph Kony and Bob Sagget than go
on a date with you.
                                                            
Careen walks away.
                                                            
Thurgood dazes off.
Flashback to the Wisker Biscuits.
                                                            
 

18.

EXT. WISKER BISCUITS - DAY
                                                            
                       FANCY DRESSED GUY
Heres to money. Rarest Cars,
finest clothes. Heres to money.
The most beautiful girls in the
world. heres to money, money,
money, money, money.
                                                            
The man is fake ejaculating in Thurgoods face.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOOD'S CARDBOARD BOX -PRESENT DAY - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
That's it i'm going for it. First
place or nothing. Fifty thousand
dollars.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
With that type of money we can go
out to fancy restaurants. Like
Chillis.
                                                            
Chuck pronounces the word Chile's like the Country Chile. It
sounds like "chill-A's"
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
what the fuck did you just say?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Chill-A's
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I'll workout in the gym. I'll run
on the beach. I'll train day and
night. I'll give up fast food....
and beer.
                                                            
                       KENSINGTON
euuuuuuurrrrr?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Haha ok.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Okay ill give up fast food.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I'll drink your beer.
                                                            

19.

                       THURGOOD
Then no beer it is! Chuck I can do
this. With a good educated sober
responsible trainer I could be
first by miles. Second place not
even close!
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I could be your trainer.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I said educated, responsible and
sober.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I'll work for free.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
With you as my trainer I could be
first at a photo finish. Chuck
Kensi get good sleep, tomorrow we
train for the 2nd Annual Pacific
Beach Marathon.
                                                            
 
EXT. PARK - DAY
                                                            
Montage of Thurgood working out.

The sun rises and Thurgood is jumping rope, running, doing
jumping jacks. He has a protein shake helmet on. Chuck has a
beer helmet on.

OUTSIDE GYM

Thurgood goes to the gym and sees a sign that says $10 for
the day. He shakes his head disapprovingly and doesnt go in.

PARK

Thurgood is doing pull ups. First with 2 arms, then with 1,
then with none. Chuck is shown lifting him up.

OUTSIDE GYM

The sign still says "$1 Membership." Thurgood does not enter
the gym.

GROCERY STORE

Thurgood is putting protein bars in his own shopping cart.
Chuck is shown taking the protein bars out and putting beer
in.

20.


Thurgood cracks two raw eggs, eats them then hops on the
conveyer belt and the grocery store and uses it as a
treadmill.

OUTSIDE GYM

The gym sign says free so Thurgood goes in.

He looks at the clock it says 12:15. He does some push ups,
pull ups and a little running. He is sweating profusely. He
looks back up at the clock it says 12:19.

He puts 6 plates on the bench press and is unable to lift
them. He is able to lift the bar tilting it to each side as
the weights fall off.

He is stretching next to an elderly woman.

He is struggling with a push-up after he completes it he
clicks his clicker and it says 2

He is doing jumping jacks. He drinks 4 raw eggs. The music
stops. He throws up everywhere. Looks up with a big smile on
his face. The music continuesand he continues doing jumping
jacks.

He is lifting weights struggling and a young girl comes up
next to him and lifts the same weights without struggling.
                                                            
His mile time is shown at 10 minutes.
                                                            
TRACK

He is running down the road. Chuck is pouring shots into
water cups.

OFFICE

He is very focused watching a clip of Rosie Ruiz winning the
Boston Marathon. He has a piece of paper that has START
written on one side and FINISH on the other. He draws a line
(starting at Start) right off the page. Then restarts
drawing it right by the word FINISH.

TRACK

His mile time is shown at 9 minutes.
                                                            
Thurgood crosses the finish line and wins a race. The camera
pans back to reveal the race is actually a 1st grade
2-legged race.
                                                            

21.

GYM
                                                            
Thurgood is doing squat jumps. Chuck is on the next floor
holding a beer just out of reach to Thurgood.

His Mile time is shown at 8 minutes.

His Mile time is shown at 7 minutes.

PUBLIC STAIRS

Thurgood is running up a set of stairs with ease. He raises
his arms in triumph as he gets to the top.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOOD'S CARBOARD BOX MAKESHIFT HOME. - DAY
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Buddy check this out.
                                                            
Chuck hands Thurgood a bottle of pills.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
GAZUMP 3000?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
This will make you run faster, run
longer and its llegal in 3 states.
California just so happens to be
one of them.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya but look at these side affects.
Severe Hallucinations, explosive
diarrhea, permanent loss of
memory, uncontrollable toe hair
growth, lowered semen count.
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks at Kensington. Who just stares back
at Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Anal Acne, even more severe
Hallucinations, male pregnancy.
and if drinken with apple juice
indented nipples.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Probably shouldn't take it with
apple juice then to be safe.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Thanks but no thanks.
                                                            

22.

Thurgood throws Chuck the pills. Chuck puts them in his
pocket.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Good luck tomorrow pal. I'll keep
these just in case.
                                                            
 
EXT. BEACH SUN SET - NIGHT
                                                            
Thurgood is building a bonfire with newspaper and a place to
sleep as the sun sets over the beach. We hear a soft piano
song. Thurgood lays down and begins to daze off.
                                                            
 
INT. BUSINESS OFFICE-FLASBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is wearing a fancy suit and sitting at a desk. He
receives a call. He drops the phone and runs out of the
room.
                                                            
 
INT. HOSPITAL-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
                       DOCTOR
There was an accident. Your wifes
car was side swiped by a truck.
Your daughter and your wife...Im
sorry theres nothing we could do.
Im sorry.
                                                            
Thurgood drops to his knees in disbelief.
                                                            
 
EXT. FUNREAL-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is putting flowers on a grave. Kensington is
accompanying him.
                                                            
 
EXT. BEACH-PRESENT DAY - NIGHT
                                                            
Thurgood is sleeping peacefully next to Kensington.
                                                            
 
EXT. MARATHON STARTING LINE - DAY
                                                            
Running shoes are being tied. We hear a rock n roll song. A
number is being pinned on a singlet. Thurgoog is shown
shaving his legs and adjusting his head band. Chaffing cream
is being put in his nipples. He walks up to the starting
line throwing air punches and doing jumps. He gets to the
starting line and after staring, to both his right and left,

23.

he looks confused . The camera pans out and reveals that he
is surrounded by Africans.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What the...Hey did you run this
race last year?
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks to the runner next to him. Who is
clearly of African decent.
                                                            
                       KENYAN
Nope not last year the Boston
Marathon was on the same date.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Oh cool a professional runner. I
would say im... an amateur.
Professional in training..well
aspiring professional.. People
dont pay me to run ...yet. But
they will soon I just have to work
on actually being able to run the
entire 24 miles.
                                                            
                       KENYAN
Oh I dont get paid. I donate 100%
of my winnings to a charity for
homless children Kenya.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well My prize money will also be
donated to homeless kids. Grown up
kids in America. The homeless
grown up kids of America.
                                                            
                       KENYAN
The money goes to shoes for
African children who cant afford
them.
                                                            
Thurgood turns to the runner on the other side of him.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Can i draft off of you?
                                                            
The starting pistol shoots off and all the runners begin to
gallop ahead. Thurgood is almost instantly left in the dust.
As Thurgood runs he becomes more exhausted and is sweating
more profusely. He eventually sees a water stand in the
distance.
                                                            

24.

                       THURGOOD
      (panting)
Water. Finally.
                                                            
Chuck is at the water station. Holding the bottle of Guzump
3000
                                                            
                       CHUCK
      (to himself)
Hes not doing very well. He needs
a pick me up. Lets see take 1
scoop, well he needs to pass about
25 runners so ill give him 25
scoops.
                                                            
Chuck pours nearly an entire bottle of Gazump 3000 into a
water cup and hands it to Thurgood. . Thurgood is shown
going slower and slower. He is Looking more fatigued. He
begins to daze off and as the sun beats down on his face he
faints..
                                                            
 
INT. HOME OFFICE-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is on the phone.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What do you mean the life
insurance policy wont be paid. The
causes were natural.
                                                            
 
INT. BANK-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is shown getting turned down for a loan. His credit
card is turned down.
                                                            
 
INT. THURGOOD'S HOUSE-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Repo men are taking furniture out of Thurgoods house. He
sits there helplessly with Kensington..
                                                            
 
INT. OFFICE-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is sitting in an office. There is a man behind the
desk.
                                                            

25.

                       THURGOODS BOSS
I'm sorry Thurgood but since your
wife and daughter passed you just
havent been the same. We have to
let you go.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Is there anything you can do. Give
me some time I can make money for
the company I'm just in a rut
right now.
                                                            
                       THURGOODS BOSS
No Thurgood your just not making
any money for the company. You
lost something when you lost your
wife and children and..im sorry
its just not going to work out.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTIDE THURGOOD'S HOUSE-FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is sitting on the curb with two suitcases and
Kensington. A foreclosed sign is in front of the house.
Thurgood turns and sees Chuck sitting in the distance on the
corner. Chuck waves at Thurgood.
                                                            
 
EXT. MIDDLE OF STREET - DAY
                                                            
As Thurgood lays on the pavement he opens his eyes to reveal
a genie standing above him.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
      (Bellowing voice)
Thurgood...Thurgood....wake up you
useless Bum.
                                                            
Oswaldo is snapping his fingers and clapping in Thurgoods
face.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
God Dammit I'm the worlds most
requested Genie and i cant even
get a megaphone, microphone, I'd
even setlle for an alarm clock. A
genie on a budget this is
ridiculous.
                                                            
Thurgood starts to wake up but is very groggy.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A Genie What? Your a genie?
                                                            

26.

                       OSWALDO
Yes thats right my friend. I'm
Oswaldo the worlds most powerful
Genie and I'm here to grant you 3
wishes.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A Genie? Like in Kazaam?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Ahh Yes like Kazaam. Okay that was
a movie, and a unrealistic one at
that. I can deal with Aladdin but
Kazam? The fuck bro?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Alright sorry sorry. Why are you
granting me 3 wishes?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Its a new Genie Affirmative Action
policy. This month I have to grant
3 wishes to at least 9 homeless
Mexicans. Its your lucky day. You
are Thurgood de ro jo el
caaaamero? Hah
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Yes but..I dont understand?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Look I have a boss too, and if I
don't grant three wishes today to
a homeless Mexican then its no
paid vacation for Oswaldo. Can we
hurry this up Ive got an Orphanage
to go to at 9pm and at 930 I need
to grant OJ another acquittal.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ok for my first wish, I wish for a
beer. I'm a runner and I need to
stay hydrated.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Wait are you really a Mexican. You
don't look Mexican.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I'm a quarter Mexican.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I look more Mexican than you.
                                                            

27.

                       THURGOOD
Um are you Mexican?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I have no fucking idea. I'm a
genie I live in a bottle. Im
probably Italian or some shit.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Sorry that must suck.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Ya that does suck Thur-Good.Well I
guess your Mexican enough. That is
a strange request but one I must
grant.
                                                            
A beer appears in front of Thurgood.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I'm sorry you probably wanted a
Corona.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No Way! Ok well I'm starving so I
wish for a Ham Sandwich with extra
Pickles.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Another awkward request but I must
follow the Genie Handbook.
                                                            
A Ham Sandwich with a jar of pickles appears next to
Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
You couldn't of put the pickles on
the sandwich?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Give me a break I'm a genie not
Harry Potter. Whats your final
wish?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I wish for....1 million dollars.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
      (Gasping)
Are you sure that's what you want.
Once you have it there's no going
back. You may think money will fix
your problems but it will only
create more. I advise you my
            (MORE)

28.

                       OSWALDO (cont'd)
friend choose a different wish.
                                                            
Thurgood is putting the pickles on the Sandwich and is
eating it.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well this sandwich definitely
needs Mustard. Its either the
money or the mustard. Ill go with
the money but god this sandwich is
dry. What a ghetto Genie.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Look Obama raised my taxes, I'm on
a budget do you have any idea how
much marinated deli meat costs.
And then if you want organic I
mean....ah Here just take the
money but be very careful my
friend with this money comes alot
of responsibility and you may find
that a lot of negative things are
attached with it. I hope you find
whatever you are looking for
Thurgood derojo El Camaro.
                                                            
Oswaldo hands Thurgood a briefcase filled with a million
dollars.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A briefcase. Seriously? What is
this Goodfellas?
                                                            
Oswaldo Smiles and shrugs.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I'm Italian.
                                                            
Thurgood throws Oswaldo a stack of money.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Here invest in something nice.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Mighty nice of you Thurgood. Ill
split the profit with you.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (to himself)
Business partners with a
Genie....okaaay.
                                                            

29.

                       OSWALDO
Business partners with a homeless
guy....okay.
                                                            
Oswaldo looks at his watch.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Ohh geez im already late for my
845 with....
                                                            
Pulls out a piece of paper.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
      (reading paper)
Casey Anthony.
                                                            
Pulls out Palm pilot. Starts to cross a name off a list of
paper.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Looks like i will have to
reschedule a Mr. Justin
Bieber...he can wait a month or 2.
He couldnt get in that much
trouble in that time.
                                                            
Thurgood is in shock staring at the money.
                                                            
 
EXT. SIDE OF THE STREET - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood begins to come into consciousness. There is a
briefcase adjacent to where he is laying.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait that couldn't of been true
could it?
                                                            
Thurgood fills the briefcase to find it is filled with a
million dollars.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Oh shit.
                                                            
 
EXT. PACIFIC BEACH BOARDWALK - DAY
                                                            
Collection of clips:
                                                            
BOARDWALK
                                                            
A collection of clips. Thurgood is walking down the
boardwalk throwing money from his hands. Thurgood is

30.

throwing money out of a limo. He pushes his hand in a girls
face when she runs up to him.He steals a little childs book.
He autographs the book and gives it back. The child is
really confused.
                                                            
CASINO
                                                            
Thurgood is winning a considerable amount of money at the
casino. Him and Chuck are drinking martinis, surrounded by
cute girls. They are confused on what the olives are for.
                                                            
SALON
                                                            
Chuck and Kensington are both getting pedicures.
                                                            
MERCEDES DEALERSHIP
                                                            
Chuck is being handed keys to a new car.
                                                            
                       CAR DEALER
Now Chuck you use this in case of
an emergency. Theres a panic
button on here and seatbelt and
windshield cutters in case theres
an accident and your pinned inside
your car.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ive never even driven a car
before.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
What?
                                                            
CLOTHING STORE
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck are fitted for expensive tuxes.
Chuck looking strangley at the $100 bill trying to figure
out exactly what it is.Chuck is putting $100 bill in soda
machine it just keeps returning money.
                                                            
OUTSIDE OF LARGE HOUSE
                                                            
Thurgood is buying a spacious new house .
                                                            
LIQUOR STORE
                                                            
Thurgood is buying an expensive bottle of alcohol. The side
of the bottles reads ".25c id recycled." Chuck and him are
high fiving.
                                                            
 

31.

EXT. FRONT STOOP OF THURGOODS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck are wearing flamboyant tuxedo's and are
sitting in Royal high chairs. They are next to a shopping
cart with rims and an extravagant card-board box. Kensington
has sunglases and a chain on.
                                                            
Thurgood glances off in the distance and displays a look of
slight excitement and surprise.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Oh its her. Good posture Chuck
                                                            
Careen walks by.
                                                            
Careen is walking down the street about to pass by
Thurgood'house. Chuck is staring at her and drooling. His
beer is tipped to the side and is pouring all over the front
steps.
                                                            
Chuck looks at himself and his box which are soaked in beer.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
My house is flooded can I stay at
yours?
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
All you do is drink out here..and
that smell. When do you even
shower?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Tuesdays.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
So when is our date beautiful?
                                                            
Careen points at the shopping cart and looks somewhat
confused since it has large shiny metallic rims
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Is that your ride?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No that's my work vehicle.
                                                            
Thurgood points at a brand new Mercedes Benz.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Thats the car I'll be picking you
up in.
                                                            

32.

Careen looks genuinely impressed and flashes a smile at
Thurgood.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
This is crazy but ill give you 1
date. Pick me up at 8.
                                                            
Careen pulls out a piece of paper. She writes her address
and hands it to Thurgood.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Whatever you do don't show him.
                                                            
Careen nods her head embarrassingly at Chuck.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Pleasure as always Careen.
                                                            
Chuck pours some Guzump 3000 into his mouth.
                                                            
 
EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT
                                                            
Thurgood is driving his Merceds Benz.
                                                            
The cars engine is being reved. The headlights go up. It is
shown cruising through the city at night amongst the city
lights. Thurgood pulls into an expensive neighboorhood, then
drives down a long driveway. Careen walks out of the house
and walks to the car.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Ummm the door.
                                                            
Thurgood runs out of the car and opens the passenger door
for Careen.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Sorry I'm not used to vehicles
that have actual doors.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
So where are we going tonight?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
umm Mcdon..
                                                            
Careen quickly interrupts him.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
It better be somewhere
classy.Because I only only do A
list and nothing less.
                                                            

33.

                       THURGOOD
I was also thinking somewhere
classy...high
priced...elegant...five star
cheifs.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Ok where?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
The Olive Garden.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
What is this the junior prom.
Ummmm no. We are going to Von
Wallingtons countryside fine
cuisine and seafood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya no problem.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (under his breath)
As long as I can get a crispy
ranch snack wrap.
                                                            
The Car speeds off into night.
                                                            
 
INT. LUXURY CAR - DAY
                                                            
Chuck starts the car with the keys from 10 feet away. He
smiles and gets in the car. Hits the push to start.

He is only driving 10mph when he Gets sidetracked and stares
at a girl walking by. The car crashes into a malibox causing
minimal damage. The airbags dont even go off.
                                                            
INTERCUT WITH:
                                                            
EXT. OUTSIDE OF A FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
INSERT: Upbeat Jazz song.
                                                            
Thurgood and Careen pull up in the car. Thurgood gives the
vallet service his key. It is clear to us this is a fine
dining establishment. Thurgood and Careen walk inside.
Restaurunt is lavish both inside and out.

Thurgood looks at hostess and holds up 2 fingers. She
instantly brings them to a table. They walk by bar where he
looks at Bartender and holds up 1 finger. Bartender holds up
glass. Thurgood shakes his head and points. Bartender holds

34.

up entire bottle of grey goose. Thurgood nods his head to
agree.

There are multiple forks and napkins are folded nicely.
Thurgood is in dibelief and taking pictures with his camera
phone.
                                                            
INTERCUT WITH:

EXT. CHUCKS CAR CRASH - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       CHUCK
      (screaming)
This is my nightmare. I'll never
be able to escape this deathtrap
alive.
                                                            
                       BYSTANDER
Sir can I help you out there.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Its to late save yourself! God,
jesus, Allah,Joe Pesci,Korean God,
Santa Clause whoever im suppossed
to pray to.
                                                            
                       BYSTANDER
Are you sure I think you just have
a broken headlight.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (Screaming
       nervously)
ITS TO LAAATE!
                                                            
INTERCUT WITH:

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT -CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
One martini with your finest
liquor and a glass of Chardonnay
for the lady.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
What do you look for in a woman?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
How much change they put in my
cup.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
What?
                                                            

35.

                       THURGOOD
What?
                                                            
INTERCUT WITH:

INT. CHUCKS CAR CRASH - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
O thank god for my mini jaws of
life.
                                                            
Chuck cuts the seatbelt with the key then breaks the
windshield and crawls out the front of the car through where
the windshield should be.

The people outside the car are stareing in disbelief.

Chuck is having a hard time getting out of the windshield
                                                            
A police officer comes and casually opens the driver door.
                                                            
                       POLICE OFFICER
Sir?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
      (screaming)
Call for help!
                                                            
INTERCUT WITH

INT. FANCY RESTAURANT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well I like girls that are down to
earth. A girl that will just like
me for me. Someones whos honest.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Really?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya a girl that doesnt mind just
staying in, eating a pizza and
watching a movie. Somebody whos
not super needy for a luxurious
lifestyle.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Well I cant say I look for the
same personality traits in guys,
but there are things I do look
for. And I think you have them
now. And let me show you what I
            (MORE)

36.

                       CAREEN MCBETH (cont'd)
have now.
                                                            
Careen grabs Thurgoods hand and takes him away from the
table.
                                                            
 
INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Montage of Thurgood and Careen falling for each other.

Careen is seducing Thurgood. She is giving him a lapdance.
She pulls sheets over each of them in bed.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOOD'S STOOP - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Whats up buddy you seem kind of
quiet.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well I have all this money but
nothing to do with it. I need to
pick up a hobby or give back to
something.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Anything in mind?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Not a clue.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well You know Thurgood I know a
guy who can hook you up with
anything you need. Weed, Cuban
cigars, cocaine, watches,
baptisms, gucci purses, Chronic. I
suppose I owe you one because I
totaled the car you bought me.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait did you say baptisms?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
O ya and cheap too.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait did you say totaled me car?
                                                            

37.

                       CHUCK
Do you think I can have some money
for a new one?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A new one? You just got a new one.
How does something like that even
happen?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Drunk drivers are everywhere.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Were you the drunk driver?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Quit busting my balls. Are you
going to give me the money or not?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Here take this card.
                                                            
Thurgood reaches into his pocket and hands Chuck a credit
card.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
But only use it for emergencies.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
What's considered an emergency.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I don't know being stranded,
hungry, you know like what normal
people consider emergencies.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ya i guess I can be normal. So
like buying a canoe is that an
emergency?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
How is buying a canoe an
emergency?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well what if I go swimming?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Why would you need a canoe if you
go swimming?
                                                            

38.

                       CHUCK
I don't know how to swim.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Why would you go out swimming if
you don't know how to swim. You'd
drown.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well I wouldn't have to worry
about that if I had a canoe. Now
would I.
                                                            
Thurgood reaches out his hand in Chucks direction.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Chuck give me back the card back.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Okay fine I won't buy the canoe.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
If I really had to spend the last
5 minutes convincing you that
buying a canoe was not an
emergency your not using the card.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Cmon Thurgood. I'll only use it
for emergencies. Besides I just
hooked you up with a discounted
baptism you should be thanking me
not questioning me.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well Ive always wanted to find my
faith again but I dont know.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ill arrange something.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ehh i dont know Chuck arent
Baptisms super expensive.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Ive built up enough baptism reward
points so I have 2 free Baptisms.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What..how?
                                                            

39.

                       CHUCK
Well I get baptized...but i keep
on sinning so I just get baptized
again. When i get to ten I get to
choose a free Baptism or a
souvenir T-Shirt....Ill arrange
something.
                                                            
Chuck hands Thurgood a business card.
                                                            
Thurgood grabs it and starts to walk away.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Go to my friends at 3. Thats when
theres usually no line.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Why is that?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Thats when the liquor store opens.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ill just go down to the recreation
center for now.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
3 o'clock!
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood walks into the YMCA where he is greeted by Lindsey.
Lindsey is a young high school student who works at the
YMCA.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Hi what brings you into the Girls
and Boys Club?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hu I'm Thurgood and well I was
looking to give something back to
the community but Im not really
sure what.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Have you thought about the Big
brother program. It's a great way
to be a positive influence in a
teenagers life.
                                                            

40.

                       THURGOOD
I'm not really sure if thats for
me. I wouldn't say I'm much of a
role model.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Don't worry about it. Most of the
children here come from rough
situations and they just need
somebody to spend time with them.
Play basketball, ping-pong, or
just talk with them.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ok I guess Ill give it a shot.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Awesome! It's great that your
giving back to the community by
doing the Big brother program. A
lot of these children need some
guidance in life.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well I know what its like to feel
like you're own your own with no
one to turn to and I know what its
like to not have a lot of options
in life.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
I think I know a little brother
that would be perfect for you.
He's a little different then most
but I feel like he'd be a good
match with you.
                                                            
Thurgood points his index fingers together and gives a
confused look of slight discomfort.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
ohh different. He likes
the....the...yehh
                                                            
                       YMCA EMPLOYEE
No hes not a butt pirate. He has
Williams Syndrome.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Williams Syndrome?
                                                            

41.

                       LINDSEY
Williams Syndrome is Downs
Syndrome crazy cousin. But not
like that cousin from Minnesota
whos socially challenged and
listens to weird music. Like a
cousin from downtown LA whos
addicted to crack and on a 7 day
bender. Pretty much if your cousin
was Andy Dick.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
OK well do you have any tips as
far as what I should say to him?
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Hes a huge people person, he asks
alot of questions and ummmm he
really likes to sing.
                                                            
Lindsey opens the door. A short boy roughly 5 feet tall
wearing an elf outfit is conducting a chorus of special
needs children all singing "Jingle Bells" Taylor is in his
late teens and has special needs.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Oh and hes a pretty big fan of
Christmas.
                                                            
Music ends and everybody is clapping.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Taylor is going to be so excited
to hang out with you. This year we
couldn't fundraise enough money
for the Special Olympics. We had
to cancel it. Taylor was pretty
upset. This will definitly cheer
him up. He'll have alot of
questions.
                                                            
Taylor is walking around shaking hands.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Taylor Come over here. Meet your
big brother Thurgood.
                                                            
Taylor comes over to Thurgood and shakes his hand.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Hi I'm Taylor whats your name?
                                                            

42.

                       THURGOOD
Thurgood nice to meet you.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Where are you from?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
About 5 minutes north of here.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
      (Gasp)
So you know Santa!
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
      (whispering)
He still believes in Santa Clause.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No sorry I don't know him.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Never even met him?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No sorry.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Not just one time?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Never.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
You naughty list fuck.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Excuse me?
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Taylor language. Taylor can get
very angry sometimes. He's usually
super happy but if you upset him
you'll know it right away.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey Taylor maybe we can go meet
Santa at the mall sometime.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Ya i'd like that and afterward we
can get chocolate ice cream.
                                                            

43.

                       THURGOOD
Sure thing buddy.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Do you have any chocolate ice
cream now?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Why?
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Im asking the questions here.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ummm no.
                                                            
Taylor looks extremely upset but then takes a deep breath
and composes himself.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ill let this one slide but don't
you talk shit about Santa again.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Taylor is one of the nicest people
you'll ever meet but just remember
that if he doesnt get his
chocolate ice cream he will and I
mean he will through a fit to end
all fits.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Huh. Well hey I have to be
somewhere at 3. Does Saturday
work, I can take Taylor to an
amusement park or the mall or
something.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Saturday's great! Cya then.
                                                            
Thurgood walks out the door.
                                                            
 
EXT. SIDE OF STREET - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is holding the business card Chuck gave him and
reading the contents of the card. Thurgood matches the
address on the card to a wood sign with the same address. We
hear a man yelling who is dressed in a rather flamboyant
priest outfit.
                                                            

44.

                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
      (Screaming)
Next in line. Next in line!
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya I'm next in line.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
What would you like to purchase.
Baptism, rolex, or lawn furniture.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
A Baptism..I want to rediscov...
                                                            
Thurgood is abruptly interrupted by The Faster Pastor
Sailing Master.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Four dollars and 30 cents please.
                                                            
Thurgood hands him a five dollar bill.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Oop sorry I dont have change for a
5.
                                                            
The faster pastor pockets the money and starts hooking up a
hose to a street fire Hydren.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Close your eyes.
                                                            
Thurgood closes his eyes. Slowly Thurgood starts to open his
eyes. He is being shot in the face with a squirt gun by the
Faster Pastor. The Pastor Grabs Thurgood's head and dips him
down into a Dora the explorer Kiddie pool. After a second in
the pool he pulls his head out.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Noahs Ark take me to central park.
Am I a real pastor, question mark
question mark!
                                                            
The Pastor ducks Thurgoods head into the water again. Then
pulls it up after a second of Thurgood being submerged in
the water.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Do you want to buy any lawn
furniture?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No I just want a....
                                                            

45.

The Faster Paster interrupts Thurgood before he can finish
the response to the question.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
      (Screaming)
We have beach chairs!
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No, I said no.
                                                            
The Pastor ducks Thurgood's head underwater. Then pulls him
back up and throws baby powder in his face.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Delouse!
                                                            
Thurgood dry heaves and spits the flour out of his mouth.
The Pastor ducks Thurgood back down in the water then pulls
him up and grabs baby powder and moves it toward Thurgoods
face but doesn't throw it.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Fake delouse!
                                                            
The pastor slams Thurgood's head down in the water.
                                                            
                       THE FASTER PASTOR SAILING MASTER
Now your not a jew
Please give me a good Yelp review
Oogaly doogaly boo
Peace be with you
                                                            
The Pastor hands him a frequent baptism card and stamps it
with a smile face. Thurgood walks past the line. The next
person in line has a souvenir shirt with the Pasters face on
it. Thurgood begins to walk home.
                                                            
 
INT. THURGOODS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood grabs a drink. Lays down on the bed next to
Kensington and turns on the television.
                                                            
A commercial comes on the television.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
What Made the biggest impact in
the 1980's...The Iran war...NO.
The election of Regan....NO.
Racial Unrest....guess again.
                                                            
In the commercial pIctures are shown of MLK, Hitler, Ghandi,
Abe Lincoln, and JFK.
                                                            

46.

                       TV ANNOUNCER
Only once in a decade a human
being is born that changes the
world forever.
                                                            
Picture of Beetle Juice.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
This is not that person.
                                                            
A picture of a short man wearing a suit flashes across the
screen.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
This is that person.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Buy it! Wait....dont buy it, but
dont sell it. Think about selling
it, but buy half of it. No sell
half of it. Right now sell!
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
Bernard Madoff Jr. His friends
call him BJ. You can not call him
that beacause you dont know him.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Buy gold. I want gold. Jimmy buy
the fucking gold.
                                                            
BJ is shown running past someone on the Wall Street Floor
and he steals a slip of paper out of there hand.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
The number one investor in the
Game. Hell make you the money.
Bernard Madoff
Jr..Jr...Jr...Jr..Jr
                                                            
BJ is shown looking at a pie graph. Then coutning his money.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
Investor.
                                                            
BJ is shown saluting the flag.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
Proud American.
                                                            

47.

BJ is shown pushing a small child on a bike. He turns and
looks at the camera with a smile. The child falls off the
bike but BJ does not notice because he is looking at the
camera.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Proud father.
                                                            
BJ throws a beer can in the trash and blows a line of coke.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
Proud graduate of alcoholics
anonymous.
                                                            
                       TV ANNOUNCER
Self proclaimed best business man
on the planet. He makes Donald
trump look like MC Hammer. Swing
by 1113 Wall Street anytime for an
appointment. Come up to the 33rd
floor and say I WANT BJ! Theyll do
the rest.
                                                            
Thurgood writes down the address, turns off television and
walks out the door.
                                                            
 
INT. MR. MADOFF JR.'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood and Kensington are let into an office by a large
man with the name tag Rodney. There are pictures on the wall
of BJ with dogs, and a picture of BJ looking at a picture of
himself.
                                                            
All of a sudden Bernie Madoff Jr. hops out from behind a
desk.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Pleasure to meet you I'm Mr Madoff
Jr. Beef jerky? Rodney?
                                                            
Bj is a short stocky man who is well dressed. He is hyper
active and can not stay in one place at the same time. BJ
extends his hand to Thurgood then to Rodney to offer him
Beef jerkey.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
Im allergic.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Ooww I cant eat Beef jerkey
because my throat will close up.
                                                            

48.

                       THURGOOD
Hi I am Thurgood I just have a
few...
                                                            
BJ interupts Thurgood before he can finish speaking.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Ummm nobody cares. So i hear you
have alot of money to invest.
                                                            
BJ puts his hands together and licks his lips as his eyes
widen.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya i heard you were the guy to see
if I want to invest my money.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Fact. Rodney lights please.
                                                            
A power point presentation is projected from BJ's computer.
The first slide pictures BJ holding a handful of money
laughing.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
As I'm sure you heard I'm the best
investor in the game.
                                                            
The slide pictures BJ peeing on money in public as
bystanders around look confused and disgusted.
                                                            
Thurgood looks repulsed.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Invest with me and on money you'll
be able to pee.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Looks like that guy was to close
to the splash zone.
                                                            
There is a man next to BJ in the picture, with a wet shirt,
attempting to cover himself as he is dry heaving.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
How dare he be disgusted by my
urine.
                                                            
The next slide is a picture of BJ in an American flag
T-shirt hunting with a dog.
                                                            

49.

                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Have you heard of vegetarians? I'm
a carnivore.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait your a carnivore. So you only
eat meat?
                                                            
BJ begins to jug a gallon of milk.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Thats right Theodore.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
So what do you drink?
                                                            
BJ puts down the gallon of milk and reveals a milk mustache.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Milk...because it comes from a
cow.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
And what exactly do you sell here?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Well Thomas, life Insurance is are
number one business. Next is fur
coats.
                                                            
BJ glances at Kensington.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
And of course other investments.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
      (Coughing under
       his breath)
Used male sex toys that you pass
off as new.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Rodney Please.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Its Thurgood not Thomas.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
I don't care. I'm only here to
make money.
                                                            

50.

                       THURGOOD
Umm ok well right now I have a
decent amount of money to invest.
I want to make some more money and
I think I'm ready to get started.
                                                            
BJ jumps up in the air.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Thats the attitude Thurston. Money
can buy you anything. If you have
money you dont even need friends.
Me Loads of money. No friends.
Except for my sweet Rodney of
course.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
Were not friends you pay me to be
your body guard because your too
much of a pussy to defend
yourself.
                                                            
BJ slams the desk with his fist.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
The Fuck is your problem Rodney.
                                                            
BJ starts to laugh then cry. He subtlety tries to hide the
cry.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Thurgood let me ask you do you
have friends that keep asking you
for money but don't have money of
their own.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOODS STOOP - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck are sitting on steps.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I'm going to need some money for
beer. I can't afford to save up
for this canoe if I'm spending
money all the time on beer.
                                                            
 
INT. BERNIE MADOFF JR.'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya as a matter of fact I do.
                                                            

51.

                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Well forget them. Stick with me
and we'll make the money. We'll be
friends you me and Rodney.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
Fuck you.
                                                            
BJ extends his hand.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
What do you say Thaddeus. Just
give me that money and I'll make
you an even richer man.
                                                            
Thurgood shakes his hand.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Oh and one more thing. I'm sure
your a busy man. Leave the dog.
I'll watch him for a few days.
Give you some time to relax.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ok thanks I'll come back in a few
days to check on my investments.
Take care of Kensington.
                                                            
As Thurgood leaves Rodney pulls him aside.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
      (Feminine Voice)
I'm not really that mean. He just
makes me so so angry, Be carefull
hes a greedy miserable asshole
with a small penis.
                                                            
Thurgood looks at Rodney with a surprised face.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (shocked scared)
Ummm ok good talk..good talk, bye
                                                            
Thurgood shuts door and leaves.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
We got another one.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOODS STOOP - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood walks up to his house. He sees Chuck sitting on the
front steps drinking alcohol.
                                                            

52.

                       CHUCK
Thurgood I'm glad your here buddy.
Theres something I want to talk to
you about.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya there's also something I want
to talk to you about.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Okay I'll go first. I kind of
reached my limit on that credit
card. Do you think you can spare
me a few bills for lunch?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What's wrong with you man. All you
do is drink all day and embarass
me. Don't you have any goals or
aspirations in life?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Wait I embarass you?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Is that a serious question?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Do I look like im joking?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Okay. How about the time you peed
in the womens bathroom?
                                                            
Flashback to Chuck walking into a womens bathroom.
                                                            
 
INT. WOMEN'S BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
                       CHUCK
I've had one too many beers.
                                                            
Chuck looks around the bathroom and sees only stalls.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
When did they get so many stalls
in here? Where are all the
urinals?
                                                            
A woman wearing a button up shirt and ironed skirt walks in
the bathroom. She looks surprised and disgusted.
                                                            

53.

                       PROFESIONAL WOMAN
Sir this is the womens bathroom.
                                                            
Chuck is peeing in the sink.
                                                            
Flashforward to modern day.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOODS STOOP - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Or what about Jury Duty?
                                                            
 
INT. COURTROOM - DAY
                                                            
Flasback to a courtroom. Chuck is a juror and is sleeping.
                                                            
                       JUDGE
Juror number 6!
                                                            
Chuck is snoring.
                                                            
                       JUDGE
Number 6!
                                                            
Thurgood nudges chuck.
                                                            
Flashforward to modern day.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOOD'S STOOP - DAY
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Okay thats like one incident.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
The public pool.
                                                            
 
EXT. POOL - DAY
                                                            
Flasback to a public pool. Chuck is swimming around in the
shallow end with floaties on.
                                                            
A little girl runs up to the lifeguard.
                                                            
                       LITTLE GIRL
Execuse me mistir, that man has no
clothes on.
                                                            
The lifeguard looks in Chuck's direction.
                                                            

54.

                       LIFEGUARD
Sir please vacate the pool
immediatly.
                                                            
                       LITTLE GIRL
And I think he took a dump in the
pool.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Haha oou.
                                                            
The lifeguard blows his whistle.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Marco.
                                                            
Flashforward to modern day.
                                                            
 
INT. THURGOOD'S STOOP - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
And who can forget the incident
that landed you in anger
management.
                                                            
 
EXT. MIDDLE OF STREET - DAY
                                                            
Flashback to Chuck crossing the street. He is pushing a
shopping cart full of cans. The cart has a bumper sticker on
it that says "Honk if you love Jesus." A Priest inside a car
honks and waves.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Hey im fucking walking here!
                                                            
                       PRIEST
Sorry brother I didn't mean to be
offensive. I just..
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Dont talk shit.
                                                            
Chuck throws a plastic bottle at the Priest's car.
                                                            
Flasforward to present day.
                                                            
 

55.

EXT. THURGOOD'S STOOP - DAY
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
All you do is embarass me man.
Your not even a real friend.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
How can you say that?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
It's pretty easy. Your never there
for me when I need you. All you do
is ask me for money. Why do I even
waste my time on you?
                                                            
                       CHUCK
So that's how you see me? Is
somebody that you just waste time
on?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I don't really see anything when I
look at you except somebody I
should of stopped hanging out with
a long time ago.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well if you really feel that way
then fine, it looks like I'm not
welcome here anymore.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya it looks that way.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
You know you've changed since you
got money.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I haven't changed, I've just
realized how much I don't need you
in my life.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
O what so now that you have money
you have new friends that are
better than me?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Friends that don't embarrass me.
                                                            

56.

                       CHUCK
I can't believe you would say
that. I'm outta here.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Bye.
                                                            
Chuck begins to walk away.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
And you know what you have changed
since you got money. Am I a screw
up? Ya I fucked up a lot of things
in my life. Am I horrible with
money. Ya I am but one thing you
can't say is I'm a bad friend. I
was there for you day in and day
out after your family's accident
when nobody else was.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey! That was in the past I don't
want to go there.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
Well if you want to forget it ever
happened because you have money
and are some big shot and don't
care anymore than fine. But I
can't ever forget. It meant to
much to me to see you like that.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Chuck I had nothing after that
accident. You were there to help
me and I appreciate that but
you've just become a pain in my
ass. I can make something out of
my life now and quite frankly your
only standing in my way.
                                                            
                       CHUCK
You just don't get it. We did have
it all. No we didnt have money,
flashy cars, or a big house. But
we had each other. We had humurous
laughs and good times. We had no
money to show but we didnt need
any. I was happy. You were happy.
We had something most people think
money will buy but it won't. We
had what everybody wants, we were
happy. We had it all man.
                                                            

57.

Chuck walks away.
                                                            
 
INT. CAREENS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood pulls up to Careen's house. He walks inside and
hears sexual moans. He walks upstairs and the noises get
louder until he opens the bedroom door to find Careen having
sex.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What the Fuck is this?
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Oh shit. Thurgood! You have to
tell me when you come over.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well call me crazy but since were
dating I didn't think I would
have to wait for you to approve
when I can come over.
                                                            
Careen gets out of bed. When she gets up we can see a midget
laying down on the bed underneath her.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Are you serious?
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Im leaving you Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
When did this happen?
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Well one your broke. And umm well
your broke. Like as in you have no
money.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Broke? No I'm definitely not
broke.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
No you definitely are. I talked to
your accountant and you have no
money left.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait are you serious?
                                                            

58.

Careen raises her eyebrows and glances at Thurgood, subtly
nodding her head up and down.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Shit. I mean we can make it work
you and me. I mean we'll figure it
out, its just a little hiccup.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
No we wont. Besides I found
somebody who can give me what I
want. Somebody with upper
management capabilities.
                                                            
The midget gets out of bed and throws on a ruby Tuesdays
shirt and puts a genie hat on that s part of his outfit. The
hat is the same hat Oswaldo the genie was wearing.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
He's an assistant manager in
training at Ruby Tuesdays.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
You cant be serious. He looks like
a chode belly dancer with that hat
on.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Hey Its magical Monday's at Ruby
Tuesday's. I ain't no belly
dancer. I'm a genie bitch.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Who the fuck is this guy?
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
His name is Rasheed Gumdrops.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
With a G mother fucker.
                                                            
Rasheed throws up a gang sign at Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
This is a joke right?
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Does 11.25 an hour with benefits
and half off on all appateziers
sound like a fucking joke to you.
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks at Careen.
                                                            

59.

                       THURGOOD
His dick has to be like 3 inches.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
3.5 Biotch but I have gigantic
fucking balls.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
He does. There not even
propotional to his body.
                                                            
Thurgood looks repulsed.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ok that may be the grossest thing
I've ever heard.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Thats not what your girl said last
night when I Windy city Carled her
face.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ok well remind me never to go to
TGIF Fridays again.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Hey it's Ruby Fucking Tuesdays. I
didnt get a Business degree from
the University of Phoenix to work
at TGIF Fridays.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Rasheed has promised me the finer
things in life. He's been employee
of the month 6 out of the last 11
months at his branch.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Thats over 50 percent biotch.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
He can't even sit at the bar
without a booster seat.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Well you know what they have
plenty of Booster seats at Ruby
Tuesdays.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
Thats right we have to have
atleast 4 booster seats avaliable
at all times assclown. It's a
            (MORE)

60.

                       RASHEED GUMDROPS (cont'd)
restaurant regulation, but you
wouldn't know that because your
not an asistant manager.
                                                            
                       CAREEN MCBETH
Were gonna start a family on his
anticipated future salary and have
little Rasheed Gumdrops running
around.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
It shouldnt be that hard this
pocket rocket is full of cum.
                                                            
Thurgood looks disgusted.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well it looks like you already got
one little Rasheed Gumdrops
running around.
                                                            
                       RASHEED GUMDROPS
      (screaming)
Don't call me little.
                                                            
Rasheed simultaneously kicks Thurgood in the shin.
                                                            
Thurgood agonizes in pain.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (wincing)
Jesus fucking christ.
                                                            
Rasheed is laughing. Thurgood walks out of the room.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood parks his car and walks into the YMCA where he is
greeted by Lindsey.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Thank you for doing something with
Taylor today. He's excited to see
his big bro.
                                                            

61.

                       THURGOOD
Ya no problem I need to clear my
mind a bit anyways.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Well hey would you mind taking
Taylor's friends Andy and Pete.
Their big brother got sick. Food
poinsing at the soup kitchen.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Food poisoning?
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Ya he volunteers at the soup
kitchen. They had some extra food
and he took a plate home. I guess
the mashed potatoes were bad.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Oh ya who would of thought that.
                                                            
3 boys walk in the room. One is Taylor, one is tall and
skinny and the other is short and muscular.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
      (singing)
Staary night, holy night, all has
come, Thuuuuurgood.
                                                            
Taylor gives Thurgood a big hug.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
I told you he loves to sing. This
is Pete and Andy they're on
Taylors Special Olympics team.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hi Nice to meet you guys.
                                                            
                       PETE
Hi nice to meet you guys.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
This is Pete he has Autism. You
have to be carefull what you say
around him because he just repeats
everything you says without
actually knowing what it means.
Doesn't do much talking mostly
repeating. So be carefull.
                                                            

62.

                       PETE
Be careful.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
And this is Andy he has Downs
Syndrome. He can't talk that much
but he loves to laugh. Always be
on alert because he likes to touch
everything.
                                                            
Andy is picking up a lamp off of a rundown desk and
laughing. A teenager walks out from behind the desk.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Man I cant study here. The desks
are falling apart. The Y cant
afford books. This place sucks.
                                                            
Chris walks out from behind the desk.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Chris dont leave. You know if you
fail that class your gonna get
kicked out of school.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Who cares about school. Obviously
we don't here or else we'd have
actual desks to study at.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Well maybe if you studied you can
get into college get a good job
and buy us all new desks.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
Fuck that im going to sell drugs.
                                                            
Chris walks to get his jacket from the coat rack. Andy is
holding the lamp laughing.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Andy No put the lamp down.
                                                            
Andy puts the lamp down. He does not stop laughing.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
That's actually pretty funny.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
No its actually a problem. We
can't bring him to funerals
because he can't stop laughing.
                                                            

63.

Taylor is still quietly singing in the backround.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Holy night. All. Is. Bright.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
All is not bright because Andy
stole the fucking lamp I was using
to do my homework and he's waving
it around the room.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Cmon Chris. You know you need a C
in that class.
                                                            
                       CHRIS
How am I going to get a C when I
can't physically see because Andy
is holding my fucking lamp.
                                                            
Chris walks out the door.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well Taylor really likes to sing
huh.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Well hes very emotional. One
minute he'll be happy singing and
the next he can be very upset.
Then all of a sudden happy again.
Its part of his syndrome. Just
remember to get him some chocolate
ice cream and he'll be fine.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
That should'nt be a problem.
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks at Taylor, Pete and Andy.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
So where do you guys want to go
today?
                                                            
They all simultaneously say "The Petting Zoo."
                                                            
 
INT. BERNIE MADOFF JR.'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
BJ is speaking into his intercom.
                                                            

64.

                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Jimmy have we found that...
million dollars! ummmm Jimmy?
Jimmy?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
      (screaming)
Jimmy!
                                                            
Bj turns to Rodney and quietly says.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Rodney would you make yourself
usefull and find Jimmy.
                                                            
Rodney starts to walk out of the room.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Rodney what are you doing tonight?
                                                            
                       RODNEY
Sorry boss already have plans.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
I have an extra ticket to Harry
Potter on Ice.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
Thursdays my online poker night.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Its a beautiful performance
Rodney.
                                                            
Rodney turns and walks away. BJ whispers under his breath.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Hes so distant from me.
                                                            
Rodney is now in the hallway on the phone.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
      (feminine Voice)
Hey there girlfriend, did you hear
about Harry potter on ice tonight.
Girls night! I'm so excited.
                                                            
BJ slams his hands against the table yells into the
intercom.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Hurry the fuck up Jimmy.
                                                            
 

65.

INT. THURGOODS CAR - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is driving his car with Taylor in the front seat.
Pete and Andy are in the back.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Can we get chocolate ice cream?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Of course Taylor as soon as we get
to the petting zoo.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
      (singing)
You better watch out. You better
not cry. You better not pout im
telling you why.
                                                            
Thurgood looks as if he is suffering from a massive
headache.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Taylor do you think we could play
some other music?
                                                            
Thurgood turns on his car radio. Fuck the Police by NWA
comes on. Thurgood starts bobbing his head.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Okay.
                                                            
                       PETE
Fuck the poilce. Fuck the police.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Pete No. Don't say that.
                                                            
Andy is laughing and touches the knob that moves Thurgoods
seat. Thurgood's seat moves back a foot.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Andy dont touch that.
                                                            
The car pulls up to an intersection. A Jamaican man walks up
to the car.
                                                            
                       JAMAICAN GUY
You guys need some stuff. I got
that piff. The good shit.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No thanks man thats illegal and
I'm not really into that.
                                                            

66.

The car starts to pull away from the intersection.
                                                            
                       PETE
We got the good shit. Thats
illegal.
                                                            
We see the door open, while the car is moving, and hear Andy
laughing.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Andy!
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
      (singing)
Santa Clause is coming... to town
                                                            
 
INT. BERNIE MADOFF JR'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
BJ is laying on top of his intercom with a bottle of booze
next to him. His mouth is touching the intercom.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Jimmy. Jimmy where are you. Jimmy
please answer me.
                                                            
Oswaldo walks into Bj's office. He is wearing a Ruby
Tuesday's outfit.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Jimmy where have you been? I've
been worried sick.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Im sorry Boss. I didnt know you
were calling me. My name is
Oswaldo. Im not sure why you keep
calling me Jimmy.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Why are you wearing that outfit.
With the hat. You look like a
wannabe Gypsy.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Sir this is my uniform for my
second job. Remember I told you I
was going to pick up a second job.
I'm a waiter at Ruby Tuesdays.
                                                            
BJ looks ticked off.
                                                            

67.

                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
A second job?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
You only pay me four dollars an
hour.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
In the Phillippens with 4$ an hour
you could buy a hut with a
semi-decent looking wife and 3
work oxes.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Ya but I live in the suburbs of
San Diego.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Anyways Jimmy we have a problem. A
million dollars is missing from my
insurance money.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Sir my name is Oswaldo.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
I don't care Jimmy a million
dollars is gone.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Didn't you pay the El Camaro guy
who's wife and daughter got into
the car accident.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Who the fuck is that?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
You know the Mexican gentlemen but
he looks white. Thurgood derojo el
Camaro. Weren't you supposed to
pay him a million dollars on the
life insurance policy?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
No I didn't Jimmy. BJ life
insurance policys does not pay on
Acts of God, Natural health
related Issues, or other common
occuring causes of death.
                                                            

68.

                       OSWALDO
So then what types of deaths do we
pay insurance money on.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Well im glad you asked Jimmy. One
Falling asleep in a bowl of soup
but only if you don't have
Narcolepsy. Two Getting hit by a
car then flying up in the air and
getting hit by another car but
dying from a stroke or an entirely
separate third car not directly
involved in the accident.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Are these even possible?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
No that's the point Jimmy. Number
3 comminting suicide by way of
jumping off a building but
shooting yourself in the head
before you hit the pavement. Four
Shark attack in a public pool.
Five just snowballing on the ocean
aquatic animals thing here.
Getting swalloed whole by a
vegetarian whale. If theres any
bite marks your not covered.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Those are the only things we pay
on?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
No of course theres more. I'm not
a scam artist. Six getting
alcholol poisining from Odouls
beer. And lucky number 7 old
age.....but nothing past the age
of 12. No 13. Actually we'll have
to check that one.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
How many people have we ever paid
out?
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
We paid a guy twelve dollars once.
O wait no that was just a sandwich
I bought at Subway.
                                                            

69.

                       OSWALDO
That really doesnt seem fair.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
That's the point it's not fair. If
you care about fairness in this
business you're never going to get
anywhere.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
So you deliberately mislead people
so you can take there money and
when they need it most you just
give them the cold shoulder.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Jimmy did you not just hear me I
pay on two types of acuatic animal
attacks. I don't know what else
you expect from me.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I guess so.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
So you have no idea where this
million dollars is.
                                                            
Flashback to the marathon race.
                                                            
 
EXT. SIDE OF THE STREET - DAY
                                                            
Oswaldo is handing Thurgood a briefcase.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Thank you. I really don't know
what to say. Just thank you.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Make sure you put it to good use.
                                                            
Thurgood throws Oswaldo a stack of money.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Invest in something nice.
                                                            
Flashback ends.
                                                            
 

70.

INT. BERNIE MADOFF JR.'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
No. I have no idea.
                                                            
 
INT. PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
Oswaldo is walking to his car inside a parking garage. He
sees ,out of the corner of his eye, a man with glasses and a
briefcase.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
Hey. Oswaldo? Right?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Hey Mr Andrews?
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
Pleasure to meet you.
                                                            
Oswaldo and Mr Andrews shake hands.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Thank you for meeting me here.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
No problem, anything for a client.
So what can I do for you today?
                                                            
Oswaldo pulls pictures of BJ out of his pocket.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
This is the dude right here. He
owns this building.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
Ok so this is the guy you want me
to investigate. That shouldnt be a
problem. Anything particular your
looking to find?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Whatever you can find.I know from
working for him that hes unethical
and dishonest. He cheats and lies
to people. Ive never met anyone
this corrupt. What hes doing has
to be illegal.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
Well im sure if what you say is
true I shouldnt have too tough of
a time finding out what really
            (MORE)

71.

                       MR ANDREWS (cont'd)
goes on with this guy.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Okay thanks Mr Andrews.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
I'll let you know soon what im
able to uncover.
                                                            
 
EXT. THE PETTING ZOO - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is walking with Taylor and Pete inside the petting
zoo.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hey where is Andy?
                                                            
                       PETE
Hey where's Andy?
                                                            
Andy is standing above a tank and feeding an enormous python
a live mouse. He is laughing.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Andy woo woo woo Andy!
                                                            
Thurgood runs up to Andy and pulls him away from the cage.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
C'mon guys lets get some ice
cream.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Yes!
                                                            
Thurgood, Taylor, Pete, and Andy walk up to an ice cream
stand.
                                                            
                       ICE CREAM GIRL
Hi what can I get for you guys
today?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I'll take a mint chocolate chip
please. Andy what do you want?
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks to his left, only to find that Andy
is no longer standing next to him. Andy is 10 feet away,
laughing, and touching a fire alarm.
                                                            

72.

                       THURGOOD
Andy No stop! Stop.
                                                            
Andy, still laughing, lowers his hand. Thurgood mutters
under his breath.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
This is bullshit.
                                                            
                       PETE
Bullshit.
                                                            
Thurgood turns and looks at the ice cream girl.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Just get Andy a plain vanilla.
                                                            
                       ICE CREAM GIRL
Okay plain vanilla.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Pete what do you want?
                                                            
                       PETE
The good shit.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wow you really do just repeat what
people tell you.
                                                            
                       PETE
Bullshit.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Okay I guess that would be another
vanilla.
                                                            
                       ICE CREAM GIRL
Okay so 2 vanillas.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Taylor what wou....?
                                                            
Taylor interrupts Thurgood before he can finish asking.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Chocolate.
                                                            
                       ICE CREAM GIRL
Oh I'm sorry were out of
chocolate.
                                                            
Taylor turns and takes a deep breath.
                                                            

73.

                       TAYLOR
I'll have a chocolate please.
                                                            
                       ICE CREAM GIRL
We have rocky road. Thats kind of
like chocolate.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Rocky road? Are you fucking
serious. Absolutely unacceptable.
I can't handle this right now.
Fuck this place!
                                                            
All of a sudden the fire alarm goes off. Andy is standing in
front of the fire alarm laughing, covered in blue paint.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
There better be a god damn
firetruck coming with chocolate
ice cream.
                                                            
A Petting zoo security officer drives up to Thurgood in a
security golf cart.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
Sir this is petting zoo security.
Halt immediatley.If you do not
comply I will be forced to arrest
you.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
What kind of human being runs out
of chocolate ice cream?
                                                            
                       PETE
This is bullshit.
                                                            
The security guard speaks into his 2-way walkie talkie.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
Their resisting im going to need
back up.
                                                            
Thurgood starts to panic.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Run guys!
                                                            
Thurgood begins to run.
                                                            

74.

                       TAYLOR
Im not running. Ill stand here
till I die if I don't get my
chocolate ice cream.
                                                            
Thurgood is starting to run away but is barley moving as he
is noticeably concerned about Taylor, Pete, and Andy.
                                                            
                       PETE
We got that piff, The good shit.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
What did you say son?
                                                            
                       PETE
Fuck the police thats illegal.
                                                            
The officer starts to jog toward Thurgood. He is talking
into his 2-way walkie talkie.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
Ya we got some drug smugglers
here.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Andy no!
                                                            
Andy is turning the key on the golf cart and it starts to
move without anybody in it. Thurgood stops and is staring at
Andy. The security guard lunges at Thurgood and tackles him
to the ground. Pete is standing above them.
                                                            
                       PETE
This is bullshit.
                                                            
The security guard is on top of Thurgood, who is laying face
down on the walkway.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
I'll show you bullshit.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
No I didn't say that.
                                                            
The security guard tightens the cuffs on Thurgood. A girl is
walking by Taylor with a chocolate ice cream.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Are you going to finish that?
                                                            
                       GIRL WITH ICE CREAM
ummm ya.
                                                            

75.

Taylor moves his face very close to the girls.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Are you absolutley positive?
                                                            
                       GIRL WITH ICE CREAM
Here you can have it.
                                                            
The girl gives Taylor the ice cream. The police officer is
laying on top of Thurgood dry humping him.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
You feel that gun. Oh ya you feel
that gun. I dont need a permit for
that gun.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
What?
                                                            
                       PETE
Fuck the police. The good shit.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
Thats threatening a police officer
in training. Thats a misdemeanor.
                                                            
The security guard is shackling Thurgood's feet.
                                                            
The security golf cart is driving into a pond. The camera
zooms out to a crowd of people around Thurgood. Taylor is
singing Jingle Bells.
                                                            
 
EXT. THURGOODS HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood drives up to his house to find a group of repo men
carrying furniture out of his house.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wow hey thats my furniture.
                                                            
                       REPO MAN
Its the banks now pal.
                                                            
2 repo men walk out with a bed.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Cmon man thats my bed.
                                                            
                       REPO MAN
Spray this one for bed bugs.
                                                            
2 more men walk out carrying clothes.
                                                            

76.

                       THURGOOD
You serious the clothes too?
                                                            
Thurgood reaches in the clothes pile and grabs his
toothbrush.
                                                            
                       REPO MAN
Hey do you have money to pay the
bank for that?
                                                            
Thurgood puts the toothbrush back. The truck pulls away with
a repo man following behind with Thurgoods car.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OF BJ'S BUILDING - EVENING
                                                            
Thurgood walks to BJ's building. He tries to open the doors
but they are locked. He repeatedly rings the buzzer but no
one answers. A security guard comes outside and kicks him
out. BJ is shown watching the whole thing through a 33rd
floor window, holding Thurgood's dog.
                                                            
 
INT. LIQUOR STORE - EVENING
                                                            
Thurgood walks to the liquor store. He grabs a handle of
grey Goose. He Reaches in his pockets and appears
dissapointed. He returns the bottle and comes back with a
handle of Zenka. He pulls change out of his pocket and puts
it on the table. The clerk shakes her head. Thurgood puts
the bottle back and comes back with a smaller bottle of
Zenka. The clerk counts the change and shakes her head in
disgust. Thurgood takes $3 out of the tip jar, grabs the
bottle and leaves.
                                                            
 
INT. WHISKER BISCUITS - EVENING
                                                            
Thurgood walks into Whisker Biscuits clearly intoxicated.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
What can I get you?
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ill take 6 beers please.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
The max you can have is 2 and
that'll be 6.50.
                                                            
Thurgood pulls out a credit card.
                                                            

77.

                       THURGOOD
Put it on my card.
                                                            
The bartender grabs the card and runs it through the
machine. She gives it back to him.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
This card was declined.
                                                            
Thurgood hands her another card
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Try this one.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
Sir this is a library card.
                                                            
The bartender turns the card over.
                                                            
                       BARTENDER
And it has a zero balance.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Just run it!
                                                            
The bartender leaves and goes out back.
                                                            
Thurgood turns to the left of him where there is a young
couple sitting enjoying a drink. The young man starts
talking to his girlfriend.
                                                            
                       YOUNG MAN
You have the most beautiful eyes.
You know your one in a million.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
And theres 7 billion people on
earth. So theres like 7000 other
people just like you.
congradulations.
                                                            
Young man shakes his head and turns back to the girl.
                                                            
                       YOUNG MAN
I can just see myself spending my
life with you.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Dont do it. Dont get married.
She'll rip your heart out and take
half your assets. Youll be
standing there with a soar
ballsack wondering why a midget
with a chin strap is banging your
            (MORE)

78.

                       THURGOOD (cont'd)
girl.
                                                            
                       GIRLFRIEND
Hey your just jealous you dont
have the love that we have.
                                                            
Thurgood ironically puts his head in his hands.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Awww thats so cute did you watch
the notebook today?
                                                            
The bartender comes back to the bar with the owner of the
bar.
                                                            
                       BAR OWNER
Sir were going to have to ask you
to leave the property.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Whatever man im outta here.
                                                            
Thurgood walks out of the bar and down the street.
                                                            
 
INT. PARKING GARAGE - EVENING
                                                            
Oswaldo drives up and is greeted by Mr Andrews who is
standing by his car with a file. Mr Andrews looks in shock.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Hey Mr Andrews. What did you find?
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
You'll never believe what I found.
                                                            
Mr. Andrews hands Oswaldo a file.
                                                            
                       MR ANDREWS
If you dont tell the authorities
about this guy im gonna have to.
This person should be behind bars.
                                                            
Oswaldo opens the folder and appears shocked.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB - EVENING
                                                            
Thurgood walks into the YMCA where he is still noticeably
intoxicated. He sees Lindsey and walks over to her.
                                                            

79.

                       THURGOOD
Lindsey! Im here to take Taylor.
Where are we going. The bar? I
dont know maybe the strip club.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
Are you serious? He has special
needs and your drunk.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Perfect then I can save money on
drinks at the bar.
                                                            
Taylor walks into the hallway.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Hi Thurgood
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hi Taylor. I dont have any money
so dont throw a fit if you dont
get chocolate ice cream.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
Thats okay Thurgood we dont have
to get chocolate ice cream.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well I dont think this big brother
thing is going to work out. I have
no money to take you places.
                                                            
                       TAYLOR
You dont have to take me anywhere
Thurgood. It not about the money I
just enjoy spending time with you.
This year we couldnt afford the
special olympics so I'm here all
day with not much to do. I just
really like hanging out with you.
                                                            
Thurgood takes a sip out of his brown paper bag.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
You want a sip of this bro?
                                                            
Thurgood extends his arm, holding the alcohol, to Taylor.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
I think you should leave.
                                                            

80.

Lindsey opens the door and Thurgood walks out. Thurgood
walks aimlessly through the streets and eventually falls
asleep on the beach to the sunset.
                                                            
 
EXT. OUTSIDE OF BJ'S OFFICE - MORNING
                                                            
There are multiple police cars in the surrounding area and
television crews. A female reporter is talking into the
camera.
                                                            
                       REPORTER
Im here from downtown where local
business Tycoon Bernard Madoff Jr.
is being arrested for his crimes
against hummanity.
                                                            
The police are escorting BJ out of the building.
                                                            
                       REPORTER
According to police he is not
cooperating with law enforcement.
                                                            
The police are shown draggin BJ out of the office. He is
grasping onto the door as the police pull his feet. Rodney
is laughing.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Hey I have dinner reservations
tonight.Rodney cancel my dinner
reservations.
                                                            
                       RODNEY
You didnt pay the phone bill to
distort actual profit margins to
our shareholders.
                                                            
                       BERNARD MADOFF JR.
Rodney call Friendly's and cancel
my reservation.
                                                            
                       REPORTER
Mr Madoff Jr has stolen hundreds
of millions of dollars from
innocent people who invested in
his insurance. Due to the severity
of these crimes and the likelihood
of future criminal offenses the US
governemnt is rewarding the person
who brought Madoff to justice a
record breaking 20 million
dollars. While another 70 million
will be paid out to shareholders
            (MORE)

81.

                       REPORTER (cont'd)
who are owed restitution.
                                                            
Oswaldo is shown shaking hands with people in suits and
accepting a medal. Off in the distance Thurgood is walking
by.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Thurgood! Hey Thurgood!
                                                            
Oswaldo runs up to Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Oswaldo? Oswaldo the genie?
                                                            
Thurgood looks confused.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
No im not a genie. Im not sure why
you thought that.You were all
drugged up on that Gazump when we
met.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait Really?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Ya
                                                            
Flashback to the street where Oswaldo first met Thurgood.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I can't understand what your
staying.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
      (drooling)
absueyush gazump no no no. Genie?
                                                            
End Flashback.
Present day.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Well then why are you wearing that
outfit?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
This is my work outfit for Ruby
Tuesday's.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Hows that job?
                                                            

82.

                       OSWALDO
Pretty good I'm probably going to
be promoted. The assistant manager
in training keeps sexually
harassing people at work.
Management is going to fire him
soon.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wait so then why did you give me a
million dollars?
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
On the life insurance policy for
your wife and daughter. I work for
the insurance company and with the
money you gave me I did all this.
                                                            
Oswaldo points to the commotion behind him. BJ is being
crammed into the Patty Wagon. Kensington runs outside to
Thurgood.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Kensington!
                                                            
Kensington runs up to Thurgood and gives him a big hug.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
I still dont understand.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I took the money you gave me and
hired a private investigator to
look into my boss and all his
illegal activity. He found way
more than I thought and the police
just arrested him.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wow thats crazy. I never would of
thought.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
And thats not even the craziest
thing.
                                                            
Oswaldo pulls 2 checks out of his pocket.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
The us government rewarded me $20
million dollars for brining BJ to
justice.
                                                            

83.

                       THURGOOD
Wow thats alot of money.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
And when remember when I said I'd
split the profits with you. Well
10 million of this is rightfully
yours.
                                                            
Oswaldo hands Thurgood a check for $10 million dollars.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Wow thanks man. I don't know what
to say.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
No thank you Thurgood.
                                                            
Oswaldo starts to leave.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
I'll see ya around.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Ya cya.
                                                            
                       OSWALDO
Put that money to good use.
                                                            
 
EXT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood is standing outside staring at the check for $10
million dollars.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Put it to good use.
                                                            
Thurgood walks inside the Y.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
O No.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Before you say anything im sorry.
I acted like an idiot. I want to
apoloize for everything.
                                                            
Thurgood pulls the check out of his pocket.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
What is this?
                                                            

84.

                       THURGOOD
Here I want to donate this to the
Y. You'll know what do with it
better than me.
                                                            
Thurgood hands the check to Lindsey. She is instantly
shocked by the amount.
                                                            
                       LINDSEY
We cant accept this.
                                                            
                       THURGOOD
Some people need this more than
me. You'll know what to do with
this better than me.
                                                            
Thurgood walks out of the building.
                                                            
 
EXT. HAMPTON BEACH BOULEVARD - DAY
                                                            
Chuck and Thurgood walk up to each other and give each other
a hug.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB - DAY
                                                            
Taylor and Pete are getting new Special Olympic Uniforms.
                                                            
 
EXT. SPECIAL OLYMPICS-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Andy is running in the relay race. While running he grabs
the batton out of an opponents hand.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Lindsey is giving boxes of shoes to the marathon runner from
Kenya. He is putting them in boxes into a FedEx truck.
                                                            
 
EXT. BEACH-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck are playing frisbee with Kensington.
                                                            
 
EXT. AFRICAN VILLAGE-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
A bunch of children are opening boxes that have shoes in
them.
                                                            
 

85.

EXT. SPECIAL OLYMPICS-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Taylor, Pete, and Andy are standing on the winners podium
recieving medals.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Workers are constructing a new tutoring center and putting
new books in the YMCA library. The young teenager who walked
out of the center a few scenes ago is walking back in.
Lindsey Hands him a book and he begins to study.
                                                            
 
EXT. BEACH - DAY
                                                            
Thurgood and Chuck are laughing playing fetch with
Kensington
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Perhaps were fooled by how much
power we have. Maybe there's a
higher power that makes sure we as
people only have a limited amount
of control over the circumstances
that create or lives. Perhaps we
only accomplish things that have
no significant meaning in the
bigger picture of life. We only
think we make an impact in the
world when in reality we make
none.
                                                            
 
INT. GIRLS AND BOYS CLUB-CONTINUOUS - DAY
                                                            
Chris is working on a math problem.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Or maybe it's the exact opposite.
Perhaps we have unlimited power.
Do you remember that feeling you
got in 5th grade when you studied
your behind off and you got an A
on that test, which the teacher
thought you had no business even
getting a B-.
                                                            
The teenager Chris is sitting at a desk smiling as he holds
a test that has an A on it.
                                                            

86.

                       NARRATOR
Or how about when your baseball
team beat that team that was 1000
times better. It didn't matter
because you were focused, you were
in the zone, that day you weren't
taking no for an answer.
                                                            
The teenager is shown pitching a baseball and striking
somebody out. All his temates run up to him and give him
high fives.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Those incidents give us feeling of
unlimited power and the sense that
we can accomplish anything.
                                                            
The teenager is shown graduating high school.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Perhaps they aren't false power
but rather signs of how much power
we truly have.
                                                            
The teenager is shown starting his first day of college.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Conceivably they enlighten us to
the knowledge that the brain,
heart and soul are the most
powerful makings ever created.
                                                            
The teenager, now an adult, is in a small office. He is
wearing a shirt and tie as it is clear this is his first
job.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
It is proof that we can accomplish
anything we set our minds to and
our limits are only figments of
our imagination.
                                                            
The former teenager is at an even bigger office with a nicer
suit.
                                                            
                       NARRATOR
Feasibly our power is not a
deceptive illusion but a force
superior to anything in the
universe
                                                            
The teenager is now in an enormous office. He hands a paper
to a secretary.
                                                            

87.

                       NARRATOR
Perhaps both individually and
collectively we have greater power
than we will ever know.
                                                            
The Man who was previously the lost teenager looks out the
window. He has a slight smile on his face. As the camera
zooms out we realize he is in the oval office of the White
House.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


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From Tyrone Edwards Date 12/12/2017 ****
did not read all of it but was funny at parts keep working and believe that someone needs to see this.


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