Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

You Blocked me on Facebook
by C.J. Stoltz (jonathansiege@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review: **1/2
A young man runs for his life after blocking a dangerously obsessed date on Facebook.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



Enter Murray Banilow's house, a newer house with large front
windows. The interior is relatively bare, but the furniture
is expensive. The walls are lacking in decoration; only a
single gaming poster is on the wall above the computer.
MURRAY BANILOW, a thin Caucasian male in his mid 20's with
messy brown hair is sitting in front of the computer on
Facebook. He receives a phone call on his Iphone and walks
into his back yard to take it. As he gets up from the desk
he is wearing only boxers and socks. After Murray steps out
of the house HELLEN CARTER begins messaging Murray via
Facebook. Internet Friends by Knife Party begins to play.
      (Via Facebook chat)
Hello Murray. How are you?
A few seconds go by. You can hear Murray murmuring on the
phone outside while Hellen messages.
Come now. Surely we can be
A few more seconds go by.
I love you.
A few more seconds go by.
Look at everything I've done for
you. You'd be nothing without me.
A few more seconds go by.
Why don't you answer me?
A few more seconds go by.
I bet you're busy talking to some
fucking slut.
A few more seconds go by.


Fucking skank... Is she hotter
than me?
A few more seconds go by.
Would you fuck me?
Door opens and Murray walks into the house. Camera moves
back slowly.
Are you gay?
Murray sets his Iphone on the corner of the computer desk
and stoops down to investigate his messages.
What the hell?
After Murray takes a moment to finish reading the messages
he brings up Hellen's profile and blocks her.
Nothing like a bowl full of psycho
puffs to start the morning...
Murray shakes his head as he sits down at the desk and
continues to browse Facebook. A moment later a car door
slams loudly and a window shatters. Murray jumps up from the
computer desk and looks back towards the front window of the
house. He walks to the window and peers out. He sees Hellen
wearing a form fitting black business skirt and shirt
holding a briefcase walking angrily toward the front door of
his house.
      (Voice cracks)
Oh shit! That's not good.
Murray tries to push off to hide behind the front door but
loses traction on the tile and flops to the floor. He army
crawls to the front double doors and locks three different
locks. Hellen's footsteps can be heard walking up the
walkway until she stops at the front door. Hellen rings the
door bell. A few seconds later she repeats. Murray jumps in
fear when Hellen bangs her fist on the door three times. A
few seconds later she repeats. After a few moments of
silence Murray's Iphone blares a text tone. In a panic
Murray clumsily scrambles to his feet.


No! No! Don't you...
Murray sprints toward the desk and does a slide on the tile
halfway through. As he's sliding the Iphone rings.
                       MURRAY'S IPHONE
      (Crazy Train by
       Black Sabbath)
Murray picks up his Iphone. As he silences it the front
window shatters behind him. He turns toward the window
quickly with panicked look on face.
Hellen is standing outside the front window holding her cell
phone out with the blocked Facebook page on screen. In her
other hand is an Uzi.
You blocked me on Facebook...
      (Psycho horror
       sound effect)
and now you're going to die.
Scene freezes with a shocked expression on Murray's face.
                       MURRAY (VO)
Yeah, that guy with the "Oh shit
I'm screwed" look on his face is
me, Murray Banilow. I bet you're
wondering how I ended up neck deep
in crazy bitch. Even if you're not
suck it up and sit down; it won't
take long to get back to me
running through my house half
naked dodging gunshots.
Fly through of a pool party at JAKE's house. The fancy back
yard is filled with men and women dancing, swimming, and
drinking a variety of alcoholic beverages. Dance music
vibrates through the house into the back yard. CAMERA turns
towards sliding glass doors and flies through as a party
goer exits.
Fly through the house until it reaches Murray Banilow
playing darts with STRANGER 1. The interior of Jake's house


is very richly furnished. Stranger 1 is preparing to throw a
                       STRANGER 1
So you're telling me that these
phone cases you build are
completely indestructable.
Virtually indestructible, not
                       STRANGER 1
What's the diff?
Murray and Stranger 1 begin walking toward the dart board.
Virtually means almost while...
You know, it's not important. What
I'm saying is my Bad Ass Cases can
take a beating and your phone will
remain intact. Hell, Chuck Norris
could roundhouse kick this thing
and your phone would be untouched.
Murray and Stranger 1 begin pulling darts from the dart
                       STRANGER 1
Why would Chuck Norris want to
kick my phone?
Ah, ah. Umm...
A throwing knife lodges into the bullseye between Stranger 1
and Murray's heads. Murray and Stranger 1 jump back
Now what the hell did I tell you
about trying to do business in my
You didn't tell me...
Jake turns to Stranger 1 and interrupts Murray.
Hey, don't I know you?


                       STRANGER 1
No, I don't think so.
Well then get the fuck out of
here. Can't you see we're playing
Stranger 1 walks off quickly while Jake pulls his knife from
the dart board. Jake puts his arm around Murray and walks
him back to the throw line.
There's only 2 good ways to sell a
product: Demonstrate it...
Jake's attention wanders to a sexy woman walking by in a
bathing suit.
Or what? Oh, or have a beautiful
woman sell it for you.
Jake's attention snaps back to Murray.
I'm terrible with women though. I
start stuttering and sound like an
idiot. Porky Pig would have a
better chance of getting laid.
You're trying to sell your
product, not court her. For God's
sake, grow a pair.
Jake signals to the DJ to cut the music and the music stops.
Let me get everybody over here for
a minute! Now people! Get your
asses over here and gather around!
The party all gathers around Jake, Murray, and the
Who here has not seen me throw a


A few hands go up into the air.
You're too cute. Same with you. Hi
there sexy. You. Yeah you, the guy
with the off center faux hawk. Get
your ass up here.
Guy with off center faux hawk steps up to the dart board.
Now hold your phone up to the
dartboard where the bullseye is.
You might want to hold the top and
the bottom, I have been drinking a
bit tonight.
Off center faux hawk holds his Iphone 4 up to the dartboard
and cringes as Jake brings his knife back into a throwing
position. Jake throws the knife and it hits the Iphone,
pinning it to the dartboard. The screen lights up
momentarily but then goes black. The crowd cheers and Off
center faux hawk guy complains until Jake hands him a brand
new Iphone 5.
I'm not that big of an asshole.
Now is there anybody here who can
throw a knife? Accurately I mean.
Hellen steps out of the crowd with a smile.
      (With British
I'll throw a knife at you.
I mean anybody who hasn't been
admitted to a mental health
facility. I'm just kidding Hellen,
It's nice to see you.
Jake glances at Murray.
Kid, I hope your case is as good
as you say it is.
Jake takes his phone out of his pocket stands in front of
the dart board. He holds it over his heart and stands with a
nervous look on his face. Hellen smiles an evil grin.


Are you sure you want to hold it
Jake shakes his head nervously and moves the phone to cover
his genitals.
And now, ladies and gentleman, I
will show you how this case can be
used to protect your parts from
even the craziest of bitches.
Hellen draws back the knife slowly and then flings it
forward. The knife spins through the air in slow motion. It
strikes the case and bounces off, flying backwards until it
lands point down in front of Murray's shoe. Murray and Jake
give a look of relief while the crowd cheers.
Now that, my friends, is a quality
product. My wind chimes are very
happy I invested in my Bad Ass
Case. Now I'm going to go find
where they are hiding.
Jake walks off with his hands in his pants checking on his
genitals while Murray is swarmed by the crowd.
Hey! Hey now! Here, there's plenty
of business cards to go around!
Murray throws the business cards into the air and the party
goers swarm around to grab them. Hellen stands and smiles at
Murray, Murray smiles awkwardly back.
POV Murray- As the crowd dissipates Hellen struts up to
Murray, hair blowing surrounded in a golden glow.
That's one hell of a phone case.
Where do I sign up for one?
Murray shakes his head to regain composure, smiles shyly,
and clears his throat.
      (Voice cracks)
This man... I mean, I would be
the... guy to talk to.
Hellen circles around Murray.


And what is "this guy's" name?
Hellen grabs Murray's ass and he jumps a bit in surprise.
MY name is Murray. Murray Banilow.
Hellen stops circling.
Mary... That's an interesting name
for a man.
It, it's actually Murray.
That's what I said, Mary.
Murray smiles sheepishly
I think you're pronouncing it
wrong because... You know, it's
not important. So how do you know
Murray gestures for them to walk and they start towards the
back yard.
We used to work together years
ago. We were quite the team,
Murray gives Hellen a curious look.
Well that's interesting, because
Jake refuses to tell me what he
used to do. In fact, I'm fairly
convinced that he's a retired
Murray does a nervous laugh while Hellen hold a straight
You're quite intuitive Mr.
Banilow. Have you ever considered


Hellen lets out a laugh.
Wait, you can't be serious! You
both were spies?
Of course not Mary, I'm just
pissing around. You should have
seen the look on your face though,
completely gobsmacked!
Murray shakes his head in amazement as he opens the sliding
glass door for Hellen. Hellen steps through and laughs
again, leaving Murray standing confused behind her.
Pissing around? Gobsmacked?
Murray shrugs, follows Hellen out of the door, and closes it
behind him.
Murray and Hellen are sitting with a few other party goers
in a hot tub drinking martinis.
So if you're not an assassin what
do you do?
I'm in marketing. I pick up
freelance jobs, mostly small
businesses that need a boost, and
put together a marketing program
for them.
Well this is a match made in
Heaven! I could use your talents!
A match made in Heaven, I'll have
to remember that.
The phone case you so elegantly
threw the knife at is my creation.
The design is amazing, but I've
had terrible luck with sales.


Well, we could put on a few more
shows like in the house, but it
would be at your own personal risk
as I'm not always that accurate.
Hellen grins and looks down.
Out of curiosity, how much would
we be putting at risk?
Ahh... Ha, ha. That's something
you'd have to find out on your
Challenge accepted.
Hellen looks past Murray.
Hey, who is that waving at you
over there?
Murray looks back but sees nobody waving. Hellen takes
advantage of the distraction to refill Murray's martini
glass with her own drink. Murray turns back to Hellen just
after she pulls her hand back.
I don't see anybody waving at me.
Maybe you can point them out.
Hellen shrugs.
Hmm... Maybe they were hailing
somebody else. No matter. So tell
me a little more about yourself
Mr. Banilow.
There's really nothing to tell.
Born and raised in Los Angeles, I
was a nerd all the way through
school and haven't changed much
since. I spend more time behind
the computer than with human
companions. You play World of


Wolrd of Warcraft? I can't say
that I have. I'm not much of a
gamer; I prefer to kill things in
real life.
Murray chokes on his martini and Hellen laughs.
I'm just pissing around Mary. Calm
down and enjoy your drink.
Speaking of drinks, would you mind
telling me how my drink magically
refilled itself?
Hellen grins.
I don't know what you're talking
about. You haven't put that glass
to your lips since we stepped into
the hot tub.
If I didn't know any better I'd
say that you were trying to get me
liquored up.
I've got to appraise your assets
somehow don't I?
STRANGER 2, a medium build Hispanic male, bumps hard into
Murray and spills his drink. Hellen steps past Murray and
quickly gets Stranger 2 into an arm bar. She pulls up hard
on his arm and he drops his head down to the concrete rim of
the pool. With her right arm she has the rim of her martini
glass pressed up against his neck. Murray dodges to the side
in surprise.
What the hell?
                       STRANGER 2
Hey bitch! Get off of me!
Hellen grins wide.
That was a bit of a party foul,
don't you think?


Stranger 2's Girlfriend sloshes through the water towards
                       STRANGER 2'S GIRLFRIEND
You whore! Get off of my man!
Hellen backhands her and Stranger 2's Girlfriend falls
backward into the hot tub.
Whoa, Hellen! It's okay! It was
just an accident.
                       STRANGER 2
You better listen to your girl-
Hellen presses the martini glass harder against Stranger 2's
                       STRANGER 2
      (Choked up)
Apologize and I'll let you up.
                       STRANGER 2
It was an accident! I'm sorry!
Hellen let's Stranger 2 up and steps out of the hot tub. She
beckons Murray over.
Come on Murray, this hot tub
smells like wet mut.
Murray follows Hellen out of the hot tub. The rest of the
scene shows various flashes of Murray and Hellen partying
together, Murray in progressively deeper states of
Murray, asleep in his bedroom on his bed, groans and stirs
because of a splotch of sunlight on his face. He sits up in
bed and groans as the light assaults his eyes further.
Ohhhh... Sunlight, why do you hate
me so?
Hellen walks into the room.


I'm afraid its not the sunlight
that hates you my dear.
Murray covers himself up as quickly as possible.
Wha... Who the hell are you?
You don't remember me? You're a
Nancy boy with your booze. A few
shots of Brandy and you were
Oh wait... You're Heather, right?
Did we... Last night?
Sadly no. You passed out before we
had a chance to bang.
Well, that's a good thing...
Hellen gives Murray a sideways look.
Because I would certainly prefer
remembering sex with such an
astoundingly beautiful woman.
That's rather sweet of you to say,
even if you were backpedaling.
I wasn't...
So what have you got planned for
us today Mary?
Uhh... I don't have anything
planned for "us". I barely know


Honestly Mary, I'm joking with
you. I wouldn't impose. I've a
meeting to attend shortly anyway.
Hellen takes out a business card and flips it towards
Murray. The card spins in slow motion through the air until
it lands on the edge of the bed. Murray picks it up and
reads it.
Murray looks up to say something, but realizes that Hellen
has already left. He looks back down at the card with a
sideways look and runs his fingers through his hair.
Murray and CARLOS WILLIAMS are sitting on the couch playing
Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 zombie mode. Carlos jumps up from
the couch onto the couch cushions with a scared look on his
Oh shit! Oh shit! Watch out man!
Shoot the damn dogs! SHIT! Shoot
the damn dogs!
Murray glances up at Carlos with a grin.
What the hell are you doing? Get
down, you're going to...
The zombie dog jumps on Carlos's character and his character
gets knocked down. Carlos steps back and falls backward off
the couch while screaming like a little girl. Murray looks
back and laughs. Carlos's head pops up a second later with a
serious look on his face.
Help me up man! Dude, look out!
Watch out!
Murray looks back at the television and tries to kill a
zombie, but it knocks him over and eats him. Murray laughs
and turns back to Carlos.
Are you okay?


No, damn dogs scared the crap out
of me! It's bad enough there are
zombies, but zombie dogs too?
It's a video game, Carlos. They're
not going to pop out of the TV and
get you.
This is why I stick to sports
games man. Nothing is trying to
eat my ass.
Not to be racist or anything, but
why do black people run scared
from zombies and monsters?
Because we're smart.
Murray gives Carlos a sideways look.
While your dumb asses are trying
to shoot 'em and getting eaten,
we're running our asses to safety.
Uh huh...
That's why you never see any black
zombies, cause we're always
outrunning 'em.
Murray gets up from the couch and presses the power button
on the Xbox 360. Carlos tosses his Xbox 360 remote on the
couch and leans down with his hands on the head of the couch
supporting his weight.
Well I know who I'm not inviting
over when zombies overrun the
Ah, now that's messed up.


Now scoot, I've got a date to get
ready for.
You? A date? C'mon now, if you
wanted me out that bad you could
have just said so. You don't need
to make up excuses.
Murray points at Carlos and smiles.
Ha, now look who's being messed
up. I'm going out with Hellen
Carlos stands up with a sideways grin on his face.
You mean that chick helping you
market your phone case?
The one and the same.
Man, be careful with that one. She
radiates crazy!
What are you talking about? You
barely even met her. She's
actually been really nice to me.
Murray is sitting at his dining room table looking at
different advertising schemes. Hellen, wearing a white low
cut business blouse with a black business skirt, comes up
and leans over Murray from behind, brushing her breasts
solidly against Murray's head. She pulls two schemes from
the pile, one in each hand.
I thought you would like these two
schemes the best.
Murray smiles wide as he takes the schemes from Hellen.


Oh yeah, I'm definitely like the
feel of these schemes the best.
                                         CUTS TO:
Murray is again sitting at his kitchen table. Hellen is
standing across the table from him wearing a red low cut
blouse. She leans over, showing a lot of cleavage, and sets
a final layout in front of him.
I finished the final layout on the
advertisement. What do you think?
They look amazing... The layouts!
I mean, it looks amazing! I like
them a lot!
Murray peels his eyes from Hellen's chest and glances at the
Cont. from scene 6.
That's how they get you, bro.
First it starts out all sunshine
and rainbows, and the next thing
you know you've got a leash
wrapped around your neck and I
don't see you for two months.
Are you talking about Samantha?
C'mon now, I knew she was crazy
getting into that. It's not like
you tried to get a hold of me
during those two months either.
I called you twice a day! She was
screening your calls! Why the hell
did you even give her your phone?
Murray has a look of realization on his face.
HUh? She told me it was
telemarketers. I thought it was
odd for them to call after


                       MURRAY (cont'd)
midnight, but I guess it makes
sense now.
For being such a smart guy, you
sure are stupid with women.
Hey, let's not forget about
Brittney. She's still all hot over
you, even after the way you dumped
Camera is on the court Jumbotron with the halftime score
      (V.O. Loudspeaker)
The Jumbotron's picture changes to BRITTNEY HALLOW and
Carlos sitting together in the stands. Brittney stands up
from the stands and puts her hands over her mouth in
disbelief. Carlos gets up and sneaks away nonchalantly as
the words WILL YOU BE MY EX? flash one word at a time over
the screen. The crowd all at once gasps and goes silent.
Brittney turns towards Carlos with a look of pure evil:
Murray is standing by the door waiting for Carlos to snap
out of his flashback.
My only regret is that I didn't
get to see the last half of the
Carlos turns toward Murray.


Come to think of it, I still owe
you one for that.
Murray is sitting in his idling car on the street outside of
the basketball arena. The pavement outside is wet due to a
recent rain.
      (On the radio)
That has got to be the cruelest
way I've ever seen anybody get
dumped. Oh my, she's chasing after
him. See if we can get the camera
on that!
Oh shit, here it comes.
Murray looks out of his window and sees Carlos run out of
the exit with a scared look on his face. Five second later
Brittney follows still with a crazy look on her face.
Murray unlocks the car as Carlos reaches it. Carlos yanks on
the handle, but the door doesn't open. He knocks hard on the
window with a panicked look on his face.
Murray pulls on the interior handle and it breaks off. He
throws it to the floorboard and swings the window crank
around as quickly as he can. As he's rolling down the window
his foot slips off the brake and the car starts rolling
      (Panicking as well)
I'm trying damn it! Jump in
through the window!


Carlos jumps in through the passenger window of car and hits
his head on the window frame.
Carlos tries to crank the window up but the handle snaps
off. Murray slams on the gas and the tires of the car spin
in place. Carlos turns to Murray wide eyed.
That's not funny man! GO!
Murray eases off the gas and the car accelerates. Just as
Carlos lets out a sigh of relief Brittney grabs a hold of
the passenger door handle and yanks on it.
Carlos slams down on the lock tab and while running along
side the door Brittney yanks on the door handle again. The
door swings open and Carlos swings a glare at Murray.
Are you kidding me right now?!
I'm going! I'm going!
The cars gains speed and Brittney latches onto the door
frame. Carlos pries her hands free and she falls to the
ground. Carlos slams the door shut and looks behind the car.
Brittney is already on her feet sprinting after the car.
That bitch is crazy!
Murray is standing just outside his front door and Carlos is
halfway down the walkway when he turns back towards Murray.


Just do me a favor Murray; if you
start getting any weird vibes or
anything close, you backpedal your
ass out of there quick.
Will do, thanks Carlos. I'll let
you know how it goes.
Murray and Hellen are standing next in line at El Chato taco
truck. Murray looks slightly nervous with his hands in his
pockets glancing around at the surrounding people.
What's wrong Mary?
Oh, nothing. I just thought when
you said dinner we'd be sitting
down at a nice restaurant enjoying
some food that wasn't meowing
behind the establishment a few
hours earlier.
That's what makes it taste so
great Mary. It's fresh meat. Just
make sure to check for hair in the
meat for you take a bite.
Murray winces.
Yeah, it's not fun pulling hair
out of your mouth.
No! You've got to see what color
the cat was!
That was an awful but hilarious
Hellen and Murray move up to the Taco Truck's window to


                       CASHIER (EL CHATO)
Hey! Como estas Hellen?
Bien, y tu?
                       CASHIER (EL CHATO)
Bien! Bien! Que quieres?
Por favor doce tacos con al pastor
y dos pepsis.
                       CASHIER (EL CHATO)
Tres minutos mas o menos.
Hellen hands Cashier (El Chato) a twenty dollar bill.
Hellen and Murray step a few feet away from the truck to
wait for their food.
I can't imagine many Spanish
speakers hanging around England.
Where did you learn to speak
Spanish so well?
I helped market a cartel down in
Mexico for a few months. I know it
sounds bad, but after I started
making them tons of money they
treated me like a queen.
A cartel? Are you serious?
Hellen laughs and gives Murray a shove. Murray nearly falls
I can't keep a straight face with
you Mary. I learned it through
Rosetta Stone, mostly. The slang
you've got to experience for your
own on the streets.


"On the streets". Look at you
gettin' all gansta' over here. Do
I need to worry about you puttin'
a cap in my ass?
      (Semi-serious look
       on her face)
Only if you piss me off.
      (Catches the look
       on her face)
Okay... So sales have skyrocketed
since you took over marketing. I
wanted to thank you for that; I
couldn't have done it without you.
I know that you couldn't have. You
lack business skills, sweetie.
      (Shrugs his
We all can't be business savvy.
Besides, it gave me the chance to
meet you.
So I noticed that you've got a
pretty little house in a beautiful
neighborhood. How did you manage
that with barely any income?
Murray's Iphone chimes in his pocket.
Hold on a sec.
Murray digs into his pocket and pulls out his cell phone. He
smiles as replies to a text quickly and puts it back in his
Who was that?
My friend Carlos.


Hmm... What did he want?
Nothing important. So my house...
It was a present from my parents
when I moved to the Los Angeles
area from Carmel.
Well that's sweet.
Yeah. I kind of feel guilty
though. They bought me the house
because they were worried about me
living in a bad area while I went
to school, but I haven't been in
school for over a year now.
Why did you drop out of?
It's hard to want to be in school
when you don't know what you want
to do for a living.
I've never had that problem. I
kind of found my niches and stuck
with them.
                       CASHIER (EL CHATO)
Sus tacos Senorita.
Murray's phone chimes again as Hellen goes up to the taco
truck to get the food. He takes it out of his pocket, types
onto it, and then sticks it back into his pocket. Hellen
comes back a moment later with bags of food in hand.
Who was that Mary?
It was nothing, just business. I
never thought running a business
was an around the clock job...
Anyway, what were we talking


Your lack of education.
Oh yeah... Every time I start a
career path I become really good
at it, and then I get bored. That
or I think of the job I would end
up with and realize how boring it
would be. How can anybody be happy
doing the same thing day in a day
out for the rest of their lives?
Not everybody finds their niche as
quickly as I did. Some people
search for years to find it, or
they never do.
Thank you for the motivational
boost there Hellen. I'll be sure
to enroll back in school tomorrow.
Who is to say that you haven't
found your niche already?
Murray stops walking with a thoughtful look on his face
while Hellen drops the tailgate of her Black Chevy
Avalanche. They set their food down on the tailgate and
begin to unpack it.
      (Smiles at Murray)
You went awfully quiet. Did I
strike a cord?
You know, you're probably right.
Why can't this be my niche. After
all, who else has made a case as
sturdy as mine?
Hellen is already stuffing her mouth, so she gives Murray
the A-okay hand sign. Murray goes to unpack his tacos when
his phone chimes again. He takes his phone out of his
pocket, laughs, replies to a text, and then drops it back
into his pocket.
Who was that?


Murray stops halfway into his bag and looks up at Hellen.
      (Sideways look)
That was... That was nobody. Why
do you ask?
Oh, no reason. You know, curiosity
killed the kitty.
      (Continues pulling
       tacos out of bag)
So anyway. You said you found your
niches; as in plural. What else do
you do besides marketing?
That's something you're going to
have to guess at Mary.
Murray takes a bite out of his taco and pleasure explodes
onto his face.
Oh my God! These things are
amazing! Little delicious tacos
from Heaven, where have you been
all my life?
Murray's phone chimes in his pocket.
Damnit! My hands are covering in
yummyness. Can you get my phone
out of my pocket for me?
Of course, but I can't be held
responsible for accidentally
grabbing anything else.
Hellen reaches inside Murray's pocket and grabs his goodies.
Whoa! That's... not my phone!
Oh! My apologies! There it is...


Hellen pulls out Murray's phone.
Now let's see... Looks like it's a
Facebook message from Benjamin.
Murray leans forward awkwardly against the tail light of the
truck and shifts back and forth a little bit to hide his
erection. Murray has an awkward look on his face.
Oh... Ben, yeah, don't worry about
it. I can get back to him later...
What's wrong Mary? Did I get you a
little aroused?
Hellen takes a closer look.
Oh! I've gotten you very aroused.
That's a fine todger you have
there Mary.
Murray fidgets back and forth.
Do you really need to call
attention to it?
It's nothing to be ashamed of
Mary. Be proud of your Willy.
A group of guys walking by stops and STRANGER 3 starts
                       STRANGER 3
Hey, what kind of a name is Mary
for a guy? Are you some kind of
The group of guys starts to laugh behind Stranger 3.
      (Still standing
Actually, my name is Murray. She
has an accent which makes it sound
like she's saying Mary...


                       STRANGER 3
      (Looks at Hellen)
And let me guess; your name is
Winston. Let me see if I can find
your Adam's Apple.
Stranger 3 reaches his hand up towards Hellen. Hellen grabs
his hand, locks it up, and pushes him back with it.
                       STRANGER 3
Hey, what do you think you're
doing bitch?!
      (Steps up to
       Stranger 3)
Hey, that's really no way to talk
to a lady!
                       STRANGER 3
      (Smiles at Murray)
And what are you going to do about
it, Mary?
A few guys snicker and Stranger 3 pushes Murray back a few
feet. Hellen steps between Murray and Stranger 3. STRANGER 4
watches in surprise.
He doesn't need to do anything; I
can defend myself. Besides, what
have I got to worry about from
somebody who obviously has a
severe case of baby dick.
                       STRANGER 4
Damn, how do women just look at
you and know?
                       STRANGER 3
Fuck you! It's a medical
condition! Handle this!
Stranger 3 draws back his arm and swings it forward. POV
Murray-Hellen ducks the punch and his fist connects with
Murray's eye. Camera leans and falls. Screen blacks out-End
of scene.


Murray is laying on the couch with an ice pack on his eye
tapping his foot repeatedly on the armrest. Hellen walks
into the room from the kitchen carrying two Pepsis.
How is it that every time I'm out
with you I black out.
Hellen offers Murray a Pepsi.
That was a solid punch he threw;
I'm surprised you weren't out for
Murray takes the Pepsi from Hellen and opens it.
Note to self: Apparently I can
take a punch. I'm not sure that
was something I ever wanted to
find out.
Hellen opens her Pepsi.
C'mon Mary, everybody should know
if they can take a punch.
Hey, so what happened after I
blacked out? I'm a little fuzzy on
the details.
Hellen sits down on the arm of the couch next to Murray's
head and takes a sip of her Pepsi.
Let's just say that he's not going
to be able to throw any more
punches any time soon...
Holy shit, you broke his arms?
      (Cruel smile)
I didn't want to completely
debilitate him, so I broke a few
fingers... On each hand...


Murray flinches.
Oh God, that just made the pain in
my head hurt worse...
Quit being a Nancy boy Mary! Here,
take these. Here, take these.
Hellen holds offers Murray two pills. Murray promptly takes
the medicine from her hand.
Oh, my head will thank you in a
      (Sexy grin)
Well I certainly hope so!
I just got punched in the face and
you're thinking about my penis.
You are a very persistent little
nympho, I'll give you that.
Murray checks his pocket for his phone and realizes that it
is not there. He tries to sit up in a hurry, but groans and
lays his head back down.
Where's my phone?
You really are attached to that
thing, aren't you?
Hellen reaches into her pocket.
I have to be. My whole life kind
of runs through it. The business,
my friends, my family.
Well aren't you Mr. Popularity.
Hellen holds the phone out for Murray to take. Murray grabs
his phone from her.


I figured with your business you
would be pretty attached to a
phone as well.
My business runs through word of
mouth, and I spend a lot of time
with my clients, so I have the
luxury of keeping in touch with
everybody the old fashion way.
Oh, look at you. A little memento
of tonight saved to my background
screen. That's a nice little shot
of me sprawled out unconscious on
the ground.
Hellen laughs.
You like that, do you?
That's a fuckin' Kodak moment
right there...
Murray scratches his arm and then starts to look through his
Huh, that's weird... No messages.
I usually get at least a few about
this time.
Oh, yeah. You got a message from
Carlos over your Facebook, so I
took the liberty of informing
everybody that you were
You know, it's really not...
kosher... to take somebody's phone
and hit up their Facebook. It kind
of crosses the line as far as
phone etiquette.
Hellen runs her fingers through Murray's hair.


My apologies Mary, I was only
trying to be helpful.
It's alright, I understlannnd.
Murray gives a confused look.
Muy stongue feelss furrny. What
did yooou give me?
I gave you some of my Aspirin,
Aye'm alerdic to Ass pren.
      (Gets up quickly
       from the couch)
Oh bollocks! Do you have Benedryl?
Sten da coppurd appuv da sfrigge.
Hellen rushes into the kitchen area as Murray starts to itch
his arms and legs vigorously. Hellen reappears half a minute
later with Benedryl in hand.
Take them quickly Mary.
Murray grabs the pills from Hellen and shoves them in his
mouth. He sits up with pain and tries to drink from his
Pepsi can, but there's no liquid inside.
Idss emty! Ow's et emty? Aye dn't
Hellen shoves her Pepsi at Murray.
Take mine Mary!
Murray takes the Pepsi from Hellen and gulps it down with
difficulty. Afterwards he hands it back to Hellen and flops
back on the couch with a sigh.


Aye hup sda Ben-i-dwil urks fst.
I am so sorry Mary, I really
didn't know you were allergic to
Iss kay...
Murray pauses a moment to take in a deep breath.
Wurst dayt eber.
Murray and Carlos are sitting at a two person table waiting
for their order to come. The establishment is moderately
busy, but not packed.
So yeah, after I took the Benedryl
I don't remember anything else
from the night.
That's a trip dude. Your eye is
healing up pretty well though.
That's not the freaky thing
though. I've gone out to eat with
people the last three days and
she's "coincidentally" come across
my outings two out of the three
days. I swear I saw her ducking
out of sight on the third day too.
That's really creepy dude. Do you
think she's stalking you?
I don't know how, but yeah. Beth
nearly choked to death on her food
yesterday when Hellen pulled her
chair back and asked her who she


Poor Beth; she's so sweet!
I don't know what to do. I'm
hoping that if I just ignore her
she'll find somebody else to
Murray's Iphone chirps. He takes out his phone to
investigate the reason. After a few moments he gets a
confused look on his face and looks back up at Carlos.
Dude, all of the chicks on my
Facebook have been blocked except
for Hellen.
Carlos raises his eyebrows at Murray.
Are you serious? Let me see that.
Carlos takes Murray's phone from him.
Holy shit! Dude, this is insane.
I'm telling you you've got to put
a stop to this now!
Carlos scrolls through Murray's phone a moment longer.
Hey, this is how she knows where
you're at! Quit updating your
location on Facebook!
But then how will people know
where I am?
Better yet, why don't you block
the crazy bitch and put an end to
this like I said?
Because if I do I'm afraid she'll
come after me and kill me!


Do you think she's crazy enough to
do that?
With eyebrows raised Murray shakes his head yes.
The guy who punched me in face;
she broke a couple of his fingers-
on each hand!
Broke his fingers?! Dude, you're
knee deep in Crazy Town. I'm
telling you, you need to get out
Hellen quite suddenly appears at the table wearing a black
pinstriped business skirt, black blouse covered by black
pinstriped suit top, and black pinstriped women's fedora.
Hello boys! Where should Mary be
going to?
Both Murray and Carlos look at each other wide eyed with
surprise. Carlos turns to Hellen and stutters:
Uh... Uh... I... I was just saying
that Murray here should get out of
town for a vacation. You know, go
to Pismo Beach and get some good
clam chowder.
Carlos turns back to Murray.
You didn't tell me that Hellen was
so beautiful Murray.
Hellen pulls a chair up from an adjacent empty table and
sits down.
That would be a great outing for
the two of us Mary. What do you
Carlos immediately signals Murray to say no by running his
hand across his neck like a blade and shaking his head no
with his eyes wide open.


Actually, I was thinking I would
go by myself. I think I need some
time to think things over.
      (Incredulous look)
By yourself? Think things over?
You can't be serious Mary; we've
only begun our relationship.
A few people around the restaurant begin to watch their
Ah, first of all, we're not in a
relationship. We've only gone out
on one date. Second, I was going
to think about some life choices;
like education and whatnot. Why
are you freaking out like this?
Hellen stands up from the table.
Freaking out? Mary, you haven't
even begun to...
Murray stands up from the table and interrupts Hellen.
And another thing! This whole
showing up everywhere I am and
claiming "Oh, what a coincidence"
thing needs to stop! It's just
Hellen slams her fist on the table. Murray sits down quickly
as everybody else in the restaurant turns to watch.
Oh ho! Big boy! Take a punch to
the face and suddenly you're a
hardened bad ass?
Hellen draws in closer to Murray, stares unblinkingly, and
I decide when we're done here


Hellen stares a moment longer, smiles, and then turns her
back to them. She walks out of the establishment leaving
everybody in silent astonishment. Murray and Carlos look
back at each other with shocked expressions.
Cont. from scene 1- Scene still frozen
Wow, look at that stupid look on
my face. Is that what fear looks
like? It looks like I've got gas.
      (Clears throat)
Anyway, this is where we get back
to the part where I'm running for
my life. Enjoy! Ya sick bastards!
The scene unfreezes and Murray sprints across the room,
bullets hitting the walls behind him. He dives into the
kitchen doorway and his skin sticks on the wood floor with a
bit of a squeak.
Umph... Ohh, son of a bitch!
Hellen steps through the window and laughs at Murray.
You dumb bastard; skin doesn't
slide on wood.
      (As he stands up)
Thanks for that.
Murray runs through the kitchen bearing red friction marks
on his chest. He turns the corner of the kitchen as bullets
whiz by his ear.
Murray bursts through his bedroom door and slams it behind
Where are you going Mary? The fun
has just begun!
Murray quickly grabs his dresser and slides it in front of
the door. Just he gets it into position the doorknob turns
and the door slams into the dresser.


Oh, I love it when boys play hard
to get; the chase turns me on.
Hellen slams the door against the dresser repeatedly.
Can I at least put clothes on
before you try to put a bullet in
Hellen stops slamming against the door momentarily.
I've spent our last two nights
together trying to get your
clothes off unsuccessfully. No,
you cannot get clothes on while I
try to shoot you! Now open this
door Mary!
As Hellen continues slamming the door into the dresser
Murray's Iphone dings in his hand and he looks down at it. A
message from Carlos scrolls across the screen: "Hey buddy,
whatcha up to today?"
Murray struggles getting clothes out of the dresser while
Hellen slams the door against it, but once gathered he turns
to look for his shoes. As he looks the door stops slamming
against the dresser.
All right Mary, no more Ms. Nice
The sound of an Uzi clip hitting the hallway's hardwood
floor echoes into Murray's bedroom. Murray quickly grabs his
shoes from the foot of his bed and slides them onto his feet
while Hellen loads another magazine into her uzi. After he
slips his shoes on Murray looks at his bedroom window and
You know, a real assassin would
have killed me by now.
Murray steps in front of the window while Hellen gives the
door an angry slam against the dresser. Hellen's arm darts
through the crack in the door with the Uzi. Murray ducks as


a round of bullets goes sailing past him and through the
bedroom window, causing it to shatter. As the click click
click of the empty chamber sounds into the room Murray gets
up from the ground and leaps over the window into the front
Mary? You alive in there Mary?
Sorry I lost my temper love.
Hellen shoves the dresser back and steps into the room.
After a quick search and realization that Murray has
escaped, she leaps through the window after him.
Murray is sprinting down the street in his boxers and shoes
carrying his shirt and pants when ROY MORENO, a Los Angeles
County Sheriff, pulls up beside him in his patrol vehicle
and rolls down the window.
Excuse me son; what are you doing
running around in your skivies?
Murray stops running and tries to catch his breath.
Oh... thank God... you're here...
crazy lady... trying to kill me...
The sheriff puts the patrol vehicle in park and gets out of
the car. After a quick look around he looks back at Murray.
I don't see anybody else around.
Now why don't you catch your
breath, put on your clothes, and
tell me what the hell is going...
Gunshots ring out and bullets spread across the passenger
side of the car.
LA Sheriff grabs Murray's shoulder and pushes him down.
Get down!


Another round of bullets plasters the passenger side of the
patrol vehicle.
Can I have just a minute to put my
frickin' clothes on?!
God damn! Who the hell did you
piss off?
Some crazy bitch I went out on a
date with.
Roy chuckles.
I feel lucky now, my crazy ex
attacked me with a knife. Tell you
what, brother.
Roy shakes his head and sighs.
I'll help you get your skinny ass
out of here. You just remember the
name Roy Moreno. If you live you
can tell my superior it wasn't my
fault my car got shot to shit.
What's your plan?
Come on out Mary! Man up and come
on out! Don't drag innocent
bystanders into this with you!
Roy glances sideways at Murray.
Your name is Mary?
My names Murray. She can't say it
right with her english accent.


Oohhh... Okay, when I start
talking you get into the car
quietly. When I stand up, you gun
Murray nods in assent. Roy makes to shift to a kneeling
position but stops.
What's her name?
Roy shifts into a kneeling position. Marley readies himself
to move.
This is Roy Moreno of the Los
Angeles County Sheriff Department!
Murray starts to move.
Please do not shoot! I'm going to
stand up from the car with my
weapon holstered and hands
As Murray settles into position Roy stands slowly from the
patrol vehicle, open hands visibly out.
Now as much as it pisses me off
that you shot the shit out of my
car, I would like to find a
peaceful solution to this
Suddenly the car revs up and the tires peel out. The car
takes off quickly. Roy stands in fake shock for a moment and
then sprints after it.
Roy sprints after the car with Hellen on his tale. Hellen
lifts the uzi and sprays bullets at the car. The bullets
streak along the passenger side, shattering the plastic on
the rotating light bar and the passenger side front window.
The car speeds around the corner and out of sight. Roy and


Hellen stop running after it. Roy, panting, puts his hands
on his knees to try to catch his breath.
You... Are one crazy... ass bitch.
Hellen steps up behind Roy and hits him in the head with the
butt of her gun. Roy falls to the ground and lays still.
Hellen kneels down and checks Roy's pulse.
As much as I respect Bobbies, I
can't have you calling in to your
mates about this. Sleep well love.
A 2012 Jeep Cherokee pulls up and stops behind them. Hellen
rips Roy's badge from his shirt and turns around with a
concerned look on her face. A man jumps out of the vehicle
and runs up to investigate.
I need you to call 911 immediately
and tell them officer down at this
location! I'll need to commandeer
your vehicle!
Before the stranger can respond Hellen gets into his vehicle
and takes off, leaving him with a confused look on his face.
Murray comes to a screeching halt in front of Carlos's
house. He gets out of the car and runs to the front door,
still only wearing boxers, socks, and shoes. He slams his
fist frantically on the front door until Carlos opens it a
half a minute later, wearing black basketball shorts and a
white T-shirt.
You gotta help me out man!
Dude! Where the hell are your
Murray looks down and realizes he never got dressed. He
turns tail and runs back to the sheriff's vehicle. After
fetching his clothes he runs back to Carlos's porch.
I need your help man...


Carlos glances around expectantly.
Alright, get in here.
Carlos ushers Murray into the house, glances around again,
and then shuts the door behind him.
Carlos starts to close all of the curtains in the house
while Murray finishes dressing himself.
So what the hell is going on man?
The room gets dark as he closes the last curtain.
I... I... Hellen...
Dude! I told you you needed to get
rid of her! I told you she was
Carlos begins pacing around the room.
I know. I...
Did she come knocking on your door
and you had to escape through the
You know, you could have at least
gotten dressed before you hauled
ass over here...
Carlos, still pacing, doesn't hear Murray.
No wonder the Sheriff picked you
up. I...


Carlos turns to Murray.
Stop pacing, sit the hell down,
and listen to what happened!
Carlos sits down on the couch and waits for Murray to speak.
This morning I was on Facebook and
Hellen started messaging me all
sorts of crazy shit. I took your
advice and blocked her, and the
next thing I know she's standing
outside my window with an uzi
trying to pump me full of lead...
Murray pauses a moment to catch his breath while Carlos sits
on the couch staring at Murray, mouth hanging wide open.
So I booked it out my bedroom
window and started running my ass
off when this Sheriff pulls up
wanting to know why I'm running
half naked down the street. Before
I could tell him what was going on
we were getting shot at!
Murray pauses a moment to gauge Carlos's reaction, then
The Sheriff told me to take off in
his car, so I immediately drove
Carlos stares open mouthed at Murray for a few moments and
then laughs.
Ah, you're fucking with me. You
know, the sad thing is I don't
know what you're trying to get
back at me for.
Murray throws his arms out in exasperation.


I'm not fucking with you man! She
really tried to kill me! She's
probably looking for me right now!
Carlos jumps up from the couch and throws his arms out.
Then why the hell would you come
here? Why wouldn't you go to the
All I could think about was that
time I bailed you out with
Brittney and I wanted my best
friend to be there for me in my
time of need!
Carlos's face softens and he drops his hands.
God damn it. Alright! Alright! I
do owe you one.
Murray puts his hands together in a prayer-like manner.
Thank you so much! You have no
idea how much I appreciate this!
Carlos starts walking towards the window.
You owe me after this.
Murray follows behind Carlos.
How do you figure that?
This chick is crazier than Lindsay
Lohan on cocaine! And crazy white
bitches are high up on my list of
fears; right behind sharks,
zombies, big dogs, swimming, and
George Bush.
Carlos cracks the blinds and looks through.


Why the hell did you park the
Sheriff's car right front of my
place? It's like a beacon for her
to see.
Murray cracks the blinds beside Carlos.
I almost died! I wasn't thinking
straight! Wait, you're afraid of
George Bush?
Carlos turns from the blinds and turns Murray by his
Only when he was in office... Now
you've got to screw your head on
straight man! Go move the
Sheriff's car at least around the
corner and then we'll take my
Murray shakes his head to regain composure and then with a
determined look nods in consent.
Let's do this!
Murray heads out the front door while Carlos disappears into
the hallway.
Murray starts walking quickly down the walkway towards the
Sheriff's car. He walks around to the driver's side of the
vehicle and goes to open the door, but stops to look around.
                                         CUTS TO
Hellen is driving up the road in the stolen 2012 Jeep
Cherokee, a huge grin across her face as she loads another
magazine into her Uzi.
Hello Sweetheart!
                                         CUTS TO
Murray moans as a look of terror spreads across his face.


Ohhh shit!
Murray takes off towards the front door. Hellen passes by in
the stolen car and pulls the trigger on the Uzi.
Slow motion- Murray is halfway up the lawn, sprinting
towards the front door. Bullets fly by him and strike the
walls and windows of Carlos's house. As Murray makes it to
the front door the stolen car comes to a screeching halt.
Murray dives through the front door as Hellen steps out of
the car.
Murray kicks the door shut and quickly dead bolts it.
How the hell did she find me?
Murray looks around for Carlos.
Carlos? You okay Carlos?
Murray crawls around the couch towards the hallway when
Carlos suddenly appears. He is wearing an expensive pair of
jeans with an expensive white button up shirt.
Yeah, what's up br-
Carlos stops as he sees the damage to the room.
What the hell happened?
Get down!
      (From outside)
Murray! Come on out and let's
Carlos drops down to the floor in a hurry as the sound of
Hellen reloading her Uzi fills the living room.
How the hell did she find you?
Murray shrugs.


I'm alright in here, thanks!
I see you managed to get your
clothes on. What a shame, I was
enjoying the view!
Keep her talking while I find my
Carlos starts to crawl towards the front door.
The world can't handle this
much... sexy. I'm surprised you
were able to function after seeing
this much machismo.
Carlos snorts and tries to stifle his laugh as he reaches up
for his car keys hanging on the front door. Murray shoots
Carlos a look.
I'm sorry bro, that was just too
Carlos! What are you doing here
This is my house you're putting
bullets through, actually.
I figured a man of your...
stature... should be used to drive
by shootings.
Wow! Barely even know me and
you're throwing out the racist
Aren't stereotypes fun?


Murray waves and gets Carlos's attention. With a glare he
motions him to hurry to get to his car in the garage.
If you knew Carlos, you'd know
he's the whitest black guy ever.
Carlos grabs the keys from the door.
Hey, I can't help that I had a
good upbringing...
Carlos darts away from the door and into the garage.
Well, as much as I'd love to
continue chatting, I've got to
finish what I started.
The sound of the slide being pulled back on Hellen's uzi
promps Murray to sprint to the garage and duck into it.
As Murray bursts through the garage door Carlos starts up
his black 2004 Ford Mustang.
Open up the garage!
Murray hits the garage door button and the garage begins to
open. Murray slides across the hood of the Mustang and falls
onto the floor on the passenger side. Carlos laughs as
Murray's head pops up with a look of pain on his face.
Murray opens the passenger side door of the car, gets in,
and quickly puts his seatbelt on.
Damn it! That hurt my ass!
Carlos continues to laugh as he slams on the gas pedal and
rushes out of the garage.
Hellen hears the garage door open and starts in that
direction. She reaches the side of the garage in time to see
Carlos and Murray peel out of the garage and head out onto
the road. She points the Uzi to shoot, but then draws it
back with a smile.


Oh how I do love a good game of
cat and mouse.
Murray and Carlos are speeding along laughing nervously.
After a moment, Carlos turns glances at Murray.
Alright, so what's the plan from
      (Blank expression)
Uhh... I'm not quite sure. I
didn't think I would make it this
I'll grant you that. Who do you
know that might be able to help?
Murray puts his head in his hands and runs his fingers
through his hair to think, but lifts it a second later and
I don't know. I mean, it's not
like I've ever been in this
situation before.
I don't know anybody either.
I wish I had never met this crazy
Murray drops his head back into his hands, and then a moment
later his jolts it back up.
At the party where I met Hellen,
Jake had said something to the
gist that he knew her. Maybe he'll
know what to do. At the least, he
might have a gun stash we can


Murray and Carlos get out of Carlos's Mustang and walk up to
Jake's front door. When they reach it, Murray pulls a note
off and reads it. After he reads it he throws his hands up
into the air in frustration.
Fuck! He's not even here!
Where the hell could he be?
He's at Club Chrome!
Murray and Carlos start back towards Carlos's car.
It's 5 in the evening. Does that
guy ever stop partying?
I honestly don't know how his
liver has survived the last ten
Murray and Carlos get into the Mustang and back out of the
driveway. As Carlos shifts into first gear Murray looks in
the rear view mirror and sees a 2012 Jeep Cherokee. He turns
in his seat and points back.
Ah... Ah... Go! Go!
Carlos glances back quickly.
How and the...?
Carlos's tires scream on the pavement as he floors the
pedal. A moment later the Mustang takes off down the street
with Hellen following close behind.
Try and lose her wh-
No! I was going to invite her over
for a spot of tea.


You didn't let me finish! Lose her
while I make sure that Jake is
still at Club Chrome!
Murray logs onto Facebook via his Iphone and gets onto
Jake's Facebook page. He posts: "Hey Jake, are you still at
Club Chrome?"
The car pitches to the left as Carlos twists the steering
wheel and Murray loses grip on his Iphone. The phone drops
out of the windows and makes a loud CLACK as it drops into
the middle of the intersection.
Carlos accelerates.
Are you crazy?
I dropped my phone out the window!
We need my phone if we want to
make sure Jake is at Club Chrome!
I'll take my chances man! That
bitch is crazy! I'm not going to
get my ass shot over your phone!
Murray reaches for the wheel and Carlos slaps his hand.
What did I just tell you?!
Murray reaches for the wheel again and gets his hand slapped
again. He gives Carlos the evil eye and reaches again.
Carlos slaps his hand again.
Murray reaches with both hands and grabs the steering wheel
through Carlos's slap. He wrenches it to the right and the
car jerks to the right. Murray lets go as Carlos swings the


wheel hard to the left. The tires whine and squeal as the
car spins. Carlos and Murray yell in unison:
Two spins later through the honks and dodging maneuvers of
other cars on the crowded street, the Mustang stops in the
middle of the road facing close to the opposite direction
they were traveling.
What the hell is wrong with you?!
At least we're facing in the right
direction now.
Why did I agree to this again?
Because you love and appreciate
your best friend...
      (Hits the gas)
No, that can't be it...
Because you owe me for Brittney...
I think we're even up on that by
The sound of angry yelling and honking horns can be heard as
a BUM stops traffic and walks over to Murray's Iphone. As he
starts to bend over to pick it up off the ground, Murray
quickly opens the door to the Mustang and gets out. Murray
runs into the intersection and stops in front of the bum as
the bum stands up from picking up Murray's phone.
Hey, that's my phone!


No its not, I found it laying
here, so its mine...
Murray dodges back and fans his nose with his hand.
      (Choked up)
Shit, your breath smells like
Vodka and cigarettes.
The Bum grins.
Breakfast of champions. Anyway,
what's your name?
The Bum studies the phone for a moment.
I don't see your name on it.
Well, if you turn on the phone
you'll see my name, well, my
screen name, in the contacts. Just
give it here and I'll show you.
Murray grabs for the phone but the Bum pulls away. The car
horns continue to blare in the intersection as the Bum turns
on the phone and swipes to unlock. Murray looks around
Are we seriously doing this in the
middle of the intersection?
The Bum chuckles as he shuffles through the Iphone looking
for the Contacts page.
Unless you're going to treat me to
Filet Mignon we're doing this
Do you even know how to spell
filet mignon?
The Bum cocks his head sideways at Murray.


I'm homeless, not stupid.
The Bum turns back to the Iphone.
Your nickname is HurryMurray69?
Not a good message to send to the
ladies my friend.
Will you just give me my damn
Not with that disrespectful tone!
Murray grabs for the phone and gets a hold of it with both
hands. Murray and the Bum play tug-o-war for a few moments
until Murray hears a revving motor and looks to the side. He
narrowly jumps out of the way of the front end of a 2012
Jeep Cherokee. The Bum gets knocked about twenty feet back
and rolls twice before coming to a limp stop at the edge of
the intersection. Murray stands up and brushes himself off
and looks at the driver of the Jeep only to realize that
Hellen is sitting in the driver side with an evil grin on
her face. Murray notices his phone sitting on the passenger
side of the windshield and grabs it quickly. Hellen cranks
the wheel to the right as Murray turns and runs. Just as she
goes to stomp on the gas pedal the Bum runs in front of the
Give me back my phone!
Hellen frowns and slams on the gas pedal.
Hey! UGH!
The Bum rolls up onto the windshield of the car facing the
Get that thieving bastard!
As Murray runs towards Carlos's Mustang Hellen veers
slightly off course while swinging the steering wheel back
and forth in an attempt to shake the Bum from the


You're going the wrong way! God
damn women drivers! Good for
Murray ducks into the Mustang while Carlos is watching the
spectacle of Hellen and the Bum in awe.
Go! Go!
Carlos is still watching Hellen driving with the Bum on her
Wait a sec...
Dude! I've got my phone, now let's
get out of here before she hits
Hellen spots Carlos's Mustang past the Bum's head, swings
the wheel towards them, and floors the gas pedal. Carlos
looks forward quickly with panic on his face.
You're right... Time to go!
Carlos shifts the car into 1st gear and shoots through the
intersection narrowly avoiding a collision with Hellen.
Hellen slams into the stoplight pole sending the bum flying
through the air and into a roll on the ground. The engine
dead, Hellen, blood trickling from her face, tries to start
it back up with no success. As Hellen slams her closed fist
into the steering wheel the bum gets up and runs up along
the passenger side window.
God damn it! You let the little
bastard get away with my phone!
You really are a good for
Hellen points her Uzi at the Bum.


Finish the sentence and I'll put
one between your eyes! I'm in no
bloody mood!
The Bum throws his hands up.
Whoa! Take it easy! I'm with you!
I want the little bastard dead!
Hellen pulls the handle on the Jeep's door and kicks it
Tea chugging wench...
Murray and Carlos are speeding down the road. Carlos is
extremely focused on driving while Murray keeps looking back
to see if they are being followed. After a few moments of
Do you think that bums still
I don't know!
Did you see the way he was thrown
from the car?
Carlos just nods his head as he makes a hard right turn.
I mean, I thought she had killed
him the first time she hit him; I
don't think he could have survived
that second hit.
Listen, I'm only concerned about
our own hides at the moment... I
could give a shit less about the
Damn, who pissed in your purple


Seriously bro? You pissed in my
purple drank you racist prick! I'm
going to kick your pasty ass out
at the next light!
Whoa! It's me we're talking
about... I poke you with the
racist stick all the time! Of all
the people in the world you know
that I'm the least racist... Okay,
maybe not the least racist, but I
rank down there pretty low. Now
what's really going on?
Carlos sighs.
I've almost been killed three
times today already, and Alexa has
almost been wrecked twice.
You're sitting in her...
You never told me you named your
It's not going to matter after
tonight! That crazy relentless
crumpet eating tea drinker is
going to kill us!
The engine roars to life as Carlos slams on the gas pedal.
Murray grabs the oh shit bar and the arm rest.
I think you can slow down, I
haven't seen her behind us at all.
Carlos sighs and lets off the gas pedal.
Did you really call her a "crumpet
eating tea drinker"?


I'm sorry... This crap has got me
all worked up...
Murray puts his finger up a moment in thought and then
starts rummaging through various compartments in the car.
Carlos glances at Murray.
What are you doing?
Murray unbuckles his seat belt and reaches across Carlos in
an invasive manner. He shuffles through the driver's side
door compartment trying to locate something.
Dude! What are you doing?
I think I left... Ah! Here it
Murray sits back up in his seat and holds out a prescription
I left these in your car the last
time we went out.
Carlos glances at the bottle Murray is holding.
What were they doing on the
driver's side?
Remember last time we went out and
you were too sloshed to drive
Yeah, what about it?
I was stressed as hell about
driving your car home so I took a
Xanax to calm me down. I
accidentally left the bottle in
your car.
Carlos holds out his hand.


Well shit, you'd better give me
two then.
Are you sure? One usually does it
for me...
Bro, this is a high stress
situation. I'd be surprised if two
even did it...
Murray shakes two Xanax out of the pill bottle and drops
them into Carlos's hand. Carlos quickly throws the pills in
his mouth and swallows them.
Did you check your phone to see if
Jake was at Club Chrome?
Shit... No, been distracted. I'll
check right now.
POV MURRAY- Murray opens up Facebook on his phone and goes
onto Jake's Facebook page.
Whoa, shit! There's already 32
comments on my post already...
Murray opens up the comments section and sees that Jake was
the first to respond, "Yeah bud! Come on over and join the
Yeah, he's there.
Murray scrolls further through he comments, reading ones
such as "Oh damn boy, time to party it up!", "Yo' daddies
comin'", and "Time to get yo' groove on!".
All of these comments are from
Yeah, so?
Just seems odd...


Murray and Carlos arrive at the back parking lot of Club
Chrome and get out of the car. Bass vibrations can be heard
coming out of the club as the two begin walking towards the
side of the building to go to the front entrance.
Parking lot is pretty full; hard
to believe so many people are out
partying already.
Murray and Carlos round the corner to the front of the club
and almost run into the back of the line. They both sidestep
and look down the line to the entrance. Carlos whistles.
Looks like we're walking into one
helluva party.
We need to get through this
Carlos taps the shoulders of the two people at the back of
the line.
Hey ladies, how are you doing
Before the "ladies" can turn around to respond Murray tugs
Carlos along towards the front of the line.
Once we're in the clear I will
take you clubbin', but until
Carlos looks back at the line.
You know, for how many guys
responded to Jake's post, its
seems like there are only women
Murray stops as he looks up at MARCUS, a the 6'5" large
framed muscular African-American bouncer. Marcus is standing
with his arms crossed in front of him wearing a black suit
and tie.


Can I help you?
I... I need to get in...
You're a little under dressed for
tonights festivities. Why don't
you go home and put on some makeup
and some nice clothes and come on
I need to see Jake!
Jake ain't seein' nobody dressed
like you.
Marcus shoves Murray aside and smiles.
C Lo! What's up cuz?
Carlos and Marcus share an intricate hand shake.
What da' hell you doin'?!
Tryin' to help this poor bastard
out. Bitches be craazy tonight. We
need ta holla at the big dawg...
Marcus wraps his huge arm around Carlos and Murray and
ushers them forward.
Come on in cuz! Let me get you the
proppa stampage to get you into
tha VIP lounge...
Marcus grabs a stamper from his stamp table and stamps
"CHROME" in chrome colored stamp ink across both of their
When you walk in head towards the
cordoned off staircase and show
them your hands. Boss man is up


                       MARCUS (cont'd)
Marcus allows Murray and Carlos to pass.
I think that's the blackest I've
ever seen you act.
                       STRANGER 5
      (Standing in line)
Hey, they're not even dressed up!
What about us?!
Be quiet lady man! You'll get in
soon enough!
Murray and Carlos walk into Club Chrome and stop to look
around in amazement. In three raised cages spaced evenly in
the club are go-go dancers. A colorful show of lights dances
on the crowd and the walls. Music booms through the club as
they catch their bearings and spot the cordoned off
staircase opposite the entrance. Murray points to the
It's right there!
Murray glances at Carlos and realizes that Carlos has
started dancing to the music in the club and is not paying
attention. He reaches out and grabs Murray by the sleeve and
What's up?
Murray points at the staircase again.
We need to get there!
Murray starts to push his way through the crowd of dancing
bodies, looking back constantly to make sure the dancing
Carlos is not lagging behind. "Hey boys!", "Aren't you in
the wrong club cutie!", and "Shake it baby!" are just a few
of the comments that barrage him as he starts through the


crowd. As Murray becomes more aware of his surroundings he
realizes that the voices throwing compliments are more
masculine than the feminine features they are wearing.
Murray turns back, eyebrows raised in surprise, to tell
Carlos his discovery that they are surrounded by male cross
dressers, but Carlos has disappeared into the dancing crowd.
Ah crap!
Murray steps back through the crowd and discovers Carlos
dancing with two cross dressers.
Carlos, get over here!
Murray! Dude, come over here and
take a lady to dance with!
Murray walks up and grabs Carlos by the arm and drags him
out. "We didn't mean to take your man!" follows them as they
start through the crowd again. Carlos pulls back to gain
Murray's attention.
You take me to a club and I can't
even stop to have a good time?
Murray raises one eyebrow.
Those are queens, Carlos...
      (Slightly dancing)
Every lady is a queen to me!
Murray grabs Carlos by the shoulders to keep him from
I know, but that lady is not a
lady. He's a drag queen...
Carlos looks back at the two drag queens he was dancing
with, then turns back to Murray and shrugs.
I don't even care. Man or woman,
they're still smokin' hot!


Murray shakes his head.
Either I gave you one too many
Xanax or you've been holding back
some interesting information.
Either way we don't have the time
to dance, we've got to find Jake
before Hellen finds us!
Murray steps around Carlos and starts pushing him forward.
Now head towards the stairs!
Murray continues to push Carlos until they hit the stairs.
The bouncer, BRODY, standing next to the chrome-colored
roped stanchion stops them and motions to see their stamps.
Murray and Carlos lift up their hands and show BRODY the
chrome colored stamp. Brody lifts up the rope and lets them
pass. Murray and Carlos walk up the chrome carpeted steps
towards a set of automatic sliding doors. As they get close
to the doors a female blond figure wearing black business
attire strolls past the doors. Murray quickly drags Carlos
to the side out of sight of the figure passing the doors.
Hey man! What did you do that for?
You didn't just see Hellen?
Yeah, Hellen... You know, the one
who's been trying to kill us?
Murray turns from Carlos to the doors.
How the hell did she beat us here?
The doors slide open as Carlos steps up to them. Murray
looks up in horror as Carlos steps into the VIP room; an
oval room with two mini stages with dancers on each side and
a mini bar lining the back. Carlos throws his arms out and
smiles wide.
Hellen! Dance with me girl!


Murray dives forward in an attempt to tackle and save
Carlos, but Carlos steps forward out of Murray's
outstretched reach. Murray slams onto the floor with a thump
and looks over to where Carlos is walking. A surprised Jake,
the figure dressed like Hellen, has turned around and is
looking confusedly at the scene.
Jake throws his arms out wide for a hug.
Carlos throws his arms out wide to receive Jake's hug.
Carlos and Jake hug each other momentarily and then step
back, all while Murray stares on in confusion.
Dude, you've got a pretty nice set
of tits goin'.
Murray pushes himself up from the floor.
Thanks man! So, what's up with you
What's up with us? What do you
mean what's up with us? What's up
with you? Why are you dressed like


Dude, I've got some Xanax in my
car; you could totally use
one...or three.
Murray glances at Carlos and shakes his head.
We thought you were Hellen man!
Who's Hellen and why would you
think I was her?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's the
long blond hair, the women's
business attire, and the
Murray looks down and gestures at Jake's legs.
Jake follows Murray's gaze and smiles.
They're sexy, right? Don't deny
it, you can touch em' if you want.
Oh, no. I'm good, thanks.
Carlos reaches forward to touch Jake's legs.
I might want to...
Murray reaches forward and slaps Carlos's hand away from
Jake. Carlos snaps his hand back.
Ow! What was that for bro?
You'll thank me if we ever make it
to tomorrow...
What do you mean make it until
tomorrow? What's going on?


Oh nothing. Just the crazy bitch
named Hellen that I met at your
party hunting me down and trying
to kill me!
Hellen? Hellen Carter?
That's the one!
Are you deaf? I thought I told you
to stay away from that crazy
You never told me that!
Bullshit! You remember when she
volunteered to throw daggers at my
dangly bits? I told you then.
I thought you were joking!
Why would I joke about something
like that?
Murray throws his hands up in frustration and sighs.
Alright, to the point. How bad is
it? What's happened so far?
I blocked her on Facebook this
morning and she busted through my
window, pointed an Uzi at me, and
shot up my house while trying to
kill me.
If she wanted you dead you'd be
dead already.


What makes you think that? Maybe
I'm quicker than you think.
Or, more likely, you've just
gotten lucky thus far...
No, trust me. If she wanted you
dead you'd be face down in a
puddle of blood right now.
Damn, like that?
She's a legend in the MI-5. They
call her Hellen Killer. She was
one of their top agents until she
started costing them too much
So if she doesn't want me dead,
what does she want from me?
She feels like you did her dirty,
so now you've become an amusing
little play thing for her. She's
going to hunt you down like a cat
hunts a mouse, and once she has
you cornered, that's when she's
going to end the game.
      (Worried look)
End the game?
She'll put a bullet in your head.
What else could it be?
I was hoping maybe she'd spank me
and send me on my way, not kill
Wrong kind of game my friend.


Well, it was nice knowing you
Murray shoots a quick glare at Carlos.
Can you help me Jake? Please?
There's not really much I can do
Jake puts his hands on his hips and thrusts his hip out to
the side.
As you can see I'm not really
dressed for combat.
Hasn't stopped Hellen...
Jake shoots a glare at Carlos.
Shush Carlos, I didn't say I
wouldn't help. I wouldn't leave
you guys hanging like that.
Marcus, still bouncing at the entrance, notices Hellen
walking up to the entrance.
Dayam gurl! You're looking good
tonight! But I'm afraid you're
gonna half to walk that ass to the
back of the line...
I'm not here to dance big boy. I'm
here looking for some friends of
Marcus points toward the end of the line.
All the same, you gonna' have walk
to the end of the line sweetie


Hellen grabs Marcus's finger and twists it hard around
backwards. Marcus's body twists with his finger and he
grimaces in pain. The line into the club goes completely
silent with the exception of a few gasps.
First of all, I'm not your
sweetie. Second, I'm going in to
the club to find who I'm looking
for, so you need to decide how
many broken fingers you want
before I get a stamps on my hand.
Marcus, still in pain, grabs the stamper with his free hand
and puts a black CHROME stamp on Hellen's hand.
Hellen flashes an evil grin.
Thanks sweetie, I'll be sure to
tell your boss how good of a job
you're doing.
Hellen turns Marcus to the side and steps by him, twisting a
little bit more to drop Marcus to one knee before stepping
into the entrance of the club.
Continue from scene 32- The VIP room doors open and Brody
steps in.
Boss, we've got company.
      (Gestures with
About tis tall, cute blond wearing
      (gestures to his
this attire.
Yeah, that's about the description
I got...
How and the HELL did she track us


Stall her for as long as you can.
Gigs up boys; She's got you
cornered. Unless you can figure a
way out of here.
Damn! I didn't even get a chance
to dress up and party with these
      (Pensive look)
I think you may have just solved
our predicament Carlos.
      (In realization)
I like your thinkin' Murray. Paul,
Jaime, I need you to switch
clothes with our friends here.
PAUL/PAULETTA and JAIME turn their attention from their
nearby conversation to Jake.
You know I don't answer to Paul on
Fridays bitch.
Don't get your panties in a bunch
princess, just do what I ask or
next week you won't get a chrome
Huffs and begins taking clothes off. Jaime is already taking
his clothes off while smiling awkwardly at Murray.
I just go by Jaime either way;
makes it easy.
God I hope they have something on
Come on you fairies, move it!
Paul/Pauletta huffs and shoots Jake a dirty.


You better behave yourself or
you're not getting any spankings
Jake shoots Murray and Carlos a slightly embarrassed look.
Shim is just kidding. Now you
should probably hurray up and put
those clothes on. If I know Hellen
she's wasting no time in making
her way back here.
Let me in, I need to talk to
I'm sorry miss, but I'm only
allowed to give visitors with
chrome stamps entrance into the
VIP room.
Hellen lifts her hand up to show Brody her stamp.
I have a chrome stamp, now let me
Brody turns his head slightly downward to look at the stamp
on her hand.
That's a beautiful looking stamp
you've got there miss, but I'm
afraid only visitors with a chrome
colored stamps on their body are
allowed into the VIP room.
Hellen motions with her finger for Brody to come closer.
Come here, I need to say something
to you.
Brody leans down and turns his ear towards Hellen. Hellen
grabs his ear and cranks down on it until his opposing ear
is level to her mouth.


      (Loud and stern)
Does it look like I give a bloody
hell what color stamp I have on my
wrist? Quit arse'n about and let
me through!
Brody grimaces as he quickly reaches to unhook the
Alright lady! Don't get your
panties in a bunch!
I'm not wearing any panties...
Hellen lets go of Brody's ear walks past.
Damn! You sure know how to turn a
man on!
As Hellen stops and turns to face Brody the doors to the VIP
room open up. Carlos and Murray come walking out of the VIP
room in Jaime and Pauletta's clothes.
Plenty of women don't wear
I wasn't talking about the
Hellen steps toward Brody with a devious grin. Murray and
Carlos shuffle forward behind her. Hellen stops before Brody
and puts her open hand flat on his chest. Brody shudders as
Hellen runs her hand down his chest to his stomach. Murray
and Carlos shuffle by slowly, but stop a moment to watch the
display. Hellen quite suddenly grabs Brody's groin, causing
him to lean forward with a shocked look on his face.
      (In Brody's ear)
I don't think you've got the balls
to handle me big man...
      (Wheezes out)
No ma'am...


When you grow a pair call me.
Hellen puts her business card in Brody's jacket pocket.
Yes ma'am...
Murray and Carlos slip by as Hellen turns towards the VIP
room. They dodge into the dancing crowd as Brody still
stands stunned.
Hellen steps into the VIP room and looks around for Jake.
Jake stands up from a couch.
Hellen! What a surprise!
Hellen turns toward Jake's voice and stops stunned for a
second. After taking a moment to look Jake up and down she
regains her composure.
I hardly doubt you're surprised to
see me, Jake... Where are they?
      (Poorly fakes
Where's who?
Hellen saunters toward Jake.
Don't play dumb, Jake. You know
who I'm talking about.
I know better than to keep things
from you, love.
An evil grin spreads across Hellen's face as she continues
to saunter towards Jake.
Alright, say you were telling me
the truth, which you're not, but
say you were; where would Murray
be going at this exact moment in


Jake taps his finger on his chin thoughtfully.
You know, to be honest... I'm not
sure. Young guy lookin' for
smokin' hot women; he's probably
out partying.
Jake stops tapping his chin and grins.
I know, why don't you check his
Very cute Jacob; well played. Now
why don't you tell me what I want
to know before things have to get
physical. I would hate for our
relationship to take that turn.
I'm pretty sure my pain threshold
can withstand long enough for
Brody there
      (nods towards
to come in and knock the Brit out
of you.
Let's find out.
Hellen grabs Jake by the neck and Jaime squeals. Brody
immediately rushes into the VIP room. Hellen ducks as Brody
swings at her and reaches down with her free hand. A moment
later Brody cries out in pain as Hellen once again has a
handle on his testicles.
Tisk tisk Brody, second time
tonight. When are you going to
learn to protect your bollocks?
Brody tries to reply but it comes out as a grunt as Hellen
squeezes a bit tighter.
Now why don't you tell me where
the boys went?
Paul/Pauletta jumps out from behind the bar and runs toward
the three.


How dare you hurt my Jakey!
Paul/Pauletta reaches back with open hand to slap Hellen,
but Hellen lunges forward with her head and slams her
forehead into Paul/Pauletta's nose. Paul/Pauletta drops like
a sack of potatoes to the floor. Hellen makes to look back
up at Jake but quickly looks back down as she realizes that
Paul/Pauletta is wearing makeup with street clothes on.
Why you sneakily little prat! They
were here all along!
      (Turns to Jake)
We're going to have to have a
conversation later about where
your loyalties lay.
Hellen lets go of Brody and Jake simultaneously and shoves
Brody to the side. She walks towards the sliding glass doors
and stops a moment to look Jake up and down.
      (Nods in approval)
I look good on you.
Hellen walks out of the VIP room leaving the occupants in
utter silence.
Murray and Carlos are pulling out of the Club Chrome
driveway in Carlos's Mustang. Carlos is dressed in Jaime's
clothing and wig, Murray in Paul/Pauletta's. Murray looks
out of the passenger side window at Club Chrome as they
Whew! I can't believe we made it
out of there!
      (Glances at Murray)
I can't believe we're cross
Carlos reaches over strokes Murray's wig.
You look pretty damn sexy as a
girl; toss in a boob job and we
may become more than just friends.


Murray turns away from the window and realizes that Carlos
is playing with his hair. He immediately slaps Carlos's hand
away and shoots him a look.
What the hell are you doing? Keep
your hands off me and pay
attention to the road!
Carlos turns his attention back to the road.
Aww man! I really thought we had
something going, baby!
      (Shakes his head)
That's the last time I give you
You're no fun!
      (Under his breath)
Party pooper...
Besides, you know I don't kiss on
the first date.
I don't kiss and tell so no one
would ever know.
Where the hell are we going to go
now? She's everywhere!
Bitches be craaazy!
Murray settles down into his seat with a sigh.
Yeah, no shit...
Murray's Iphone sounds a notification tone, so he takes it
out of his pocket and investigates. A message from Jake via
Facebook is plastered across the screen in caps. "HOPE
Murray shakes his head and runs his fingers through his


She's already after us.
Well that didn't last long...
Tell you what, I'll just drive
around the block over and over
again. She'll never suspect those
kind of non-sensical maneuvers.
No, we need somewhere to hide...
Murray drops his phone in his lap and sighs as he lets his
head drop onto the headrest, eyes closed. Carlos glances
concernedly at Murray.
Don't be so down, man. Seriously,
it could be worse.
Murray turns his head and looks at Carlos.
Did you really just say it could
be worse? You know what happens
when somebody says that, right?
No, what happens?
Seriously? It ends up getting
Suddenly the passenger side tire explodes. The Mustang
careens to the right and starts into a roll. Murray yells
and they flop back and forth until the car lands on its top
and stops rolling. Marley and Carlos are hanging upside down
from their seat belts. Only the sound of creaking metal can
be heard as Murray and Carlos sit in silence. A few moments
go by.
You just had to say it, didn't
I believe at this moment in time I
have more to be upset about than
you do.


Murray undoes his seat belt and drops to the roof of the car
head first.
That's going to hurt in the
Murray struggles to crawl out of the car as the leaking
radiator fluid hisses. He stands up and waits a moment for
Carlos, but when Carlos doesn't come out he drops back down
to check on him.
You okay bro?
Just leave me here for a moment.
Murray stands up and pulls his cell phone out. He unlocks it
and opens up his Facebook application. He changes his status
to "If anybody is feeling charitable I could really use some
help... Being chased by some homicidal British bitch and
need a ride or some place safe to hide... Preferably both."
After he finishes updating his status he sighs and puts away
his phone. He takes a look at his surroundings and shakes
his head at the hopelessness of the situation. A moment
later he kneels down next to the Mustang and looks into the
window at Carlos.
You coming out of there bud? I'm
afraid you might pass out if you
hang upside down for too much
I think Alexa got mad at me 'cause
I've been thinking about selling
her lately.
You know, if you give me a few
minutes I might be able to find
the Xanex for you.
I don't think there's enough Xanax
in the world to fix this.


Carlos reaches up to undo his seatbelt.
Don't forget that you're upside...
Carlos undoes the seatbelt and drops down hard with a thump.
      (trails off)
Carlos levels himself out.
Ooh, that hurt a lot more than I
thought it would.
      (Reaches in to
       help Carlos out)
Well, yeah buddy, you landed on
your head...
I'm not feeling so hot man.
Murray helps Carlos to his feet.
I know man. I'm sorry I dragged
you into this.
Murray and Carlos hobble towards the side of the road.
      (Shakes his head)
I'm glad I can be here for you
bud. I wouldn't have had it any
other way.
      (Chokes up a bit)
That's really sweet Carlos. I can
think of no better friend to me
than you.
Carlos sniffs as they step up onto the curb.
Don't you start crying, cause then
I'm going to cry, and then we're
going to look like a couple of
drunk over-emotional queens


                       CARLOS (cont'd)
hobbling along the sidewalk...
Both Murray and Carlos laugh as they make it to the side of
a brick building and slide down into a sitting position.
They both sit in silence for a moment.
How the hell did we even get into
this position?
I blocked Hellen on Facebook and
she nutted up on me...
Seems Facebook is the root of all
It's very possible.
They sit for a moment in silence watching the sporadic
traffic go by slowly when suddenly Murray's Iphone sounds a
notification tone. Murray takes his Iphone out and opens the
Facebook application with hope. His head drops when he sees
that the message left on his Facebook says "Ha! Ha! You are
such a funny guy Murray. We've got to hook up for lunch
again sometime soon!" from Magan Mortyn.
Yeah... Root of all evil.
      (Glances at Murray)
Who was it?
Murray shows his phone to Carlos.
Megan Mortin...
Oh, yeah, say no more... Look at
that, she can't even spell her
name right.
Just as Murray is about to put his Iphone away another
message pops up on the screen. He quickly reads the message
and smiles.


Maybe Facebook isn't the root of
all evil after all!
What's up?
Summer Longfellow just messaged me
saying to meet her at the parking
garage on 3rd and Spring.
Summer Longfellow? Really? Nice
Murray pushes himself up from the ground with a groan and
turns toward Carlos. He offers his hand down to help Carlos
up and Carlos stares at him blankly.
Come on bro, let's go.
Carlos shakes his head and a tear runs down his eye.
I wrecked Alexa man! My baby! I'll
never get her back!
I swear, if we survive this, I'll
buy you a brand new car.
Carlos looks up at Murray with a hopeful expression, tear
streaming down his face.
You promise?
I promise. She'll have all the
bells and whistles.
      (Small voice)
All the bells and whistles?
All the bells and whistles man.
Sanctuary is on the horizon in the
shape of a beautiful young woman
named Summer Longfellow! Let's


                       MURRAY (cont'd)
Carlos grabs Murray's hand and Murray pulls Carlos to his
feet. They begin walking in the direction of the parking
garage on 3rd and Spring Street.
You ever wondered how her
ancestors got the name Longfellow?
Yes, yes I have actually...
Murray and Carlos turn the corner onto Spring street from
3rd and are walking towards the entrance of the Broadway
Spring Center parking structure looking around for any sign
of Summer.
Do you see her anywhere?
Not at all. Are you sure she'll be
Not entirely. Maybe she's waiting
That or it's a setup.
Don't even say that right now man.
I can't even wrap my mind around
something like that.
It wouldn't be so far fetched,
considering our adversary. She
could have hacked Summers account
and told you to come here so she
could have an easy target to shoot
I think you're being paranoid.


Just as Murray finishes his sentence the sound of an engine
revving fills the quiet street. Carlos and Murray start
walking quickly as the sound reverberates off the buildings
and through the street. Screeching wheels send them into a
run and as they get close to the entrance of the parking
garage gunshots break out as Hellen fires her Uzi from her
Get in quick!
Run, run, you nesh wimp!
Just as they're about to make it to the entrance of the
garage one of the bullets grazes Carlos's leg. He drops to
the ground and screams out in agony.
I'm hit! I'm hit! Help me Murray!
Murray halts and turns around. He sprints to Carlos and
wraps his arms around Carlos's torso. He huffs and puffs as
he drags him into the parking structure.
Murray drags Carlos to the wall of the structure and props
him against it.
I'm done man! Go on without me!
I'll just slow you down!
I'm not going to leave you here
man! Let me look at your leg!
Murray kneels down to look at Carlos's leg. He reaches
forward, but Carlos swats his hand away.
There's no time for that man! I'm
a winged duck! Get going before
she gets you too!
Murray tries to get under to lift Carlos to his legs and
support him, but Carlos again pushes him away. A car door
shuts outside of the structure.


      (From outside)
Come out! Come out boys! You got
some splainin' to do!
Was that an I Love Lucy reference?
Murray shakes his head.
I'll be back for you man, I
promise. She's after me, so just
play dead or something.
Be careful man.
Murray nods his head at Carlos and runs toward the ramp up
to the second level of the parking structure. Hellen walks
in a half a minute later wielding her Uzi.
Where are you going Mary? Why
don't you come out and face me
like a man?
Carlos lets a hiss of pain out that catches Hellen's
Blast! You really are a pansy!
Left your best friend behind for
the slaughter. Tsk tsk...
Carlos turns to look at Hellen.
He wanted to take me with him, I
told him to go; no point in us
both dying. He's not a coward,
he's my best friend. I wouldn't
trade him out for anybody.
Aww, how sweet. I'll be sure to
take that into account when I've
got my gun to his head.
Carlos dramatically looks away from Hellen.


Spineless bitch... Let's get this
over with.
Get what over with?
You're going to kill me, aren't
Hellen laughs.
Why would I kill you? You're not
who I'm after.
Carlos turns back to Hellen with a surprised look.
Well that's a relief.
Hellen points her Uzi at Carlos's legs.
But in seeing that I can't have
you following me...
Hellen pulls fires the Uzi once, hitting Carlos in the leg.
Carlos screams out in pain and drops to the side, clutching
his wounded leg while Hellen walks toward the ramp up to
level 2.
You crazy bitch! What's wrong with
Hellen stops and turns to Carlos.
You know, I get asked that
question a lot. I still don't have
a good answer for it.
                                         CUT TO:
Hellen steps up off the top of the drive ramp and looks
around the second floor of the parking garage. She grins as
she begins to search through the cars.


Come out, come out my little Mary!
                                         CUT TO:
Murray is crouched behind a car a short distance away from
I just want to have a nice little
chat. Come out, love!
Hellen turns toward Murray's voice. She takes out her cell
phone and busies herself with it a moment.
How did you find me here?
I'm everywhere Mary. I'm everyone.
Murray's notification noise sounds repeatedly on his phone.
Sounds like you've got a message
Mary. Why don't you check it, I
can wait.
Murray takes out his phone. POV Murray- Murray sees that he
has numerous messages via Facebook. He opens up his Facebook
application and on his Facebook page are alternating
messages "I'm everywhere" and "I'm everyone", each message
sent by a different friend.
      (To himself)
Okay, that's just creepy!
Camera behind Hellen- Hellen peeks around the car that
Murray is hiding behind.
Hello Mary!
Murray lets out a shriek and scrambles clumsily around the
back of the car. Hellen turns quickly towards Murray.
Where are you going silly boy?
Murray sprints out from behind the car towards the parking
structure's descending ramp. As Murray is about to make the


ramp Hellen shoots at the ramp entrance. Murray dodges about
comically and jumps behind a cement barrier. Hellen starts
after Murray.
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!
It's like you're a British fembot
programmed to say American sayings
at the most annoying times ever!
Looks like there's no hope going
down. Why don't you try your luck
going up another flight? Do you
feel lucky? Well, do ya'? Punk...
Murray sighs in annoyance, shrugs his shoulders, and makes a
run for the level 3 ramps. Hellen grins and raises the Uzi,
intentionally firing shots behind him to encourage his
Murray rushes up the rest of the ramp into the parking
garage and stops. He looks around and throws his arms into
the air.
You've got to be kidding me. Where
the hell are the cars?
The sound of Hellen's foot steps echoes into the 3rd level
of the complex. Murray glances back and dodges around the
corner of the ramp. Murray proceeds to lean against the ramp
wall and stare hopelessly at the ceiling.
I am so fucked...
A moment later Hellen steps onto the 3rd floor of the
complex and looks around. After a quick grin she walks
slowly towards where Murray is hiding.
Nowhere to hide now Mary. Come on
out and man up.
Murray shrugs and charges at her from behind the wall. He
hauls his fist back and yells:


Is this man enough for you?
Murray swings his fist forward, but Hellen easily parries
it. With his face exposed Hellen slams her forehead into
Murray's nose. Murray head flops back and he staggers
backwards, hands going to his stinging nose.
      (Higher tone
       through mouth)
Ow! Damn it!
Hellen struts forward.
Ssss... Mary! You're turning me
on! Swing at me again; I'll give
you a free hit!
Hellen leans forward and exposes her cheek. Murray swings at
her again, but Hellen parries his swing and slams her
forehead into Murray's nose again. Murray stumbles backward
and clutches his now bleeding nose.
Ow! What the hell?
I'm sorry Mary, years of MI5
training; it's hard to break old
habits. I must say, though, this
is the best foreplay I've had in
You are insane! I am not going to
have sex with you!
Oh, that ship has long sailed
Mary. You had your chance at this:
Hellen gestures down her body.
Now that the mouse has been
trapped it's time to end your
miserable existence.


As Hellen advances Murray backs away towards the front
windowed area of the parking structure. While backing he
glances around for a way out of his predicament.
But if you kill me you'll miss out
on all of this!
Murray gestures awkwardly down at his body as Hellen
continues to advance on him.
Woe is me. What shall I ever do?
Murray trips on his feet and falls backward to the cement
flooring. Hellen keeps advancing and Murray crawls backwards
until he's stopped by the window's ledge. Hellen straddles
over Murray as he pulls himself up slightly. Hellen grabs
him by the shirt and puts her Uzi against his head.
So did you really think your
little girlfriend on Facebook
would make it here on time to save
Wait, it wasn't you who put that
up to lure me here? Sweet!
Hellen pushes the Uzi harder against Murray's head.
Any last words Mary?
Ow! Yeah, screw your accent! My
name is Murray, not Mary! Say
May-ree... Mar-ee... Ah, fuck off
you Wank! It's a girl's name
either way!
It is not! It's unisex!
Goodbye Mary, see you on the other


As Hellen is about to pull the trigger, three tranquilizer
darts slam into her neck. Hellen stands up quickly, eyes
wide in surprise. Her hand goes to her throat and she pulls
one of the darts out of her neck to investigate it.
Bloody hell Mary... How and the...
Hellen's knees buckle and she drops down hard to the cement.
After Murray catches his breath he stands up and looks out
of the window for the source of the tranquilizer darts.
You alright Murray?
Jake? Yeah, I'm alright! Where are
Jake stands up from the top of a building across the street
from the parking garage.
I'll be there in a minute! Let me
pack up my rifle!
Murray turns back to Hellen and stares a moment.
She's almost...peaceful... when
she's sleeping. Shit! Carlos!
Murray sprints towards the descending ramp.
Murray runs down the ramp and stops at Carlos's side. Carlos
is laying limp against the wall where Hellen had left him, a
pool of blood around his leg.
Shit! Carlos! No! No! No! This
wasn't supposed to happen!
Murray kneels down next to Carlos.
I was supposed to be the one to
get shot!


Carlos opens his eyes and turns to look at Murray.
Are you kidding me? Are you
frickin' kidding me?! All of this
leads up to me wrecking my car and
getting shot? And she just lets
you go?! What the Hell?!
Not exactly...
Murray, Carlos, Jake, Bum, Paul/Pauletta, Jaime, Marcus,
Brody, and Roy(LA Sheriff) are casually dressed sitting
around a round table at Red Robin with empty plates and full
drinks staring at Murray as he finishes his story a month
And that's when Jake makes his way
into the garage and breaks my
frickin' heart.
Tits and ass are the best way to
lure almost any guy to a location.
Did you have to hack the hottest
chick on my Facebook account?
Got you there right quick, didn't
I? You should be thanking me!
I know! I know! Why do you think I
invited you here? You all saved me
from certain doom.
I still can't believe that bitch
shot me.
Shut up you pansy, it was only a
flesh wound.
It still hurt though!


CAMERA FACING MURRAY- Hellen is standing behind Murray as he
finishes sipping a bit of soda through a straw.
Speaking of "that bitch", what did
you do with Hellen? I haven't
heard from her since.
Several people at the table are obviously trying to stifle
their laughs as Murray goes pale.
She's right behind me isn't she?
Hello Mary!
Murray turns quickly up to Hellen.
Ah, ah.. He... Hellen! What a nice
You're such a terrible liar.
I am so sorry...
Hellen claps her hands down on Murray's shoulders to
interrupt him.
Don't flatter yourself; I'm not
here for you.
Hellen sidesteps Murray's chair and struts up to Brody. She
begins to run her fingers through his hair.
You ready to go hun?
Yeah, sure. Let's AH!
Hellen lifts Brody out of his chair by the ear and begins to
lead him off.
Well good. Let's go then.


      (As he's being
       pulled away)
SEE you guys LAter!
Well that big kinky bastard!
It's good to see things worked out
for the best.
Jake shoots a glance at Bum.
Who is this guy again?
I owed him a filet mignon dinner.
He said lunch at Red Robin was
fine. By the way, to further thank
you for everything you all have
done for me, lunch is on me.
Aw, that's so sweet!
Murray points at Jaime.
For the 10th time, I will not go
out with you!
You're such a brat. You'll give it
up eventually.
You keep tellin' yourself that...


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
From Nick Fraser Date 5/21/2014 **1/2
I love the concept! Facebook is something like an inside joke nowadays, so turning the melodrama into a comedy is perfect. Some of the execution is off, and I couldn't really follow the scene very well. That can be fixed very easily though, just go over it again with that in mind and you might see what I mean. Also, I recommend not directing through the script (i.e. the Camera moves back, the camera moves left). That's the director and and cinematographer's job. Other than that, it is solid.

Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2024, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com