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Towers: Gender Wars Part Three
by John Eicher (johneicherbuisness@gmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:

Drugs, drinking, and adultery ring in the season finale as a final confrontation sparks between John and Lane.

This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.


Austin and John are seen approaching Jimmy's house from the
I still don't understand what the
big deal is.
Tensions are just kinda high, and
the last thing we need is you
loosing self-control.
That's exactly why I should loose
self control. That's what got me
laid dude.
Have some pride. Don't you think
girls would like you just being
Absolutely not.
You're right, your just gonna have
to deal tonight.
You suck.
This is for Nico's sake. Just
promise me you won't get wasted,
      (entering house)
I swear i will have total self
They enter the house to see a full party going on with
music, lights, and plenty of teen drinking. Lane and Kasey
are seen talking off in the corner of the room. Lane puts
his hand on Kasey's cheek and she pulls it off.


I don't understand what the deal
It's just a promise I made
C'mon. We got a room to ourselves
up stairs. A couple of drinks.
(Puts hand on Kasey's hip) Some
bad intentions.
Kasey slaps Lanes hand.
You're being a creep.
No reason to be a bitch about it.
What the hell is your problem?
This stupid feminism bull shit.
It's not stupid!
You honestly think this stupid
facade can cover up who you really
are? Act like you're one of the
boys? Look at yourself. You can't
even finish your beer unless it
has a fruit in it. If your
honestly gonna be this way why
don't you just head to the kitchen
where you belong and remember your
      (walks away)
You're a fucking ass-hole.
Nah. I'm just a man.


John, Austin, Nico, Robbie, and Jimmy are all scene hanging
      (To Rob)
Why don't you ever bring your
brother to these things Rob?
      (Awkwardly Coughs)
He's not really one for going out.
Well it would still be nice to
meet him.
That might not be for the best.
You guys are fucking riddles, you
know that?
Natalie enters the room.
Or maybe you're just a brown
Look out Rob. She might be
      (Making a Joke)
I would know.
That didn't even make sense.
No it's cool our cycles are
That would mean we'd actually have
to be around each other.


You're actually who i came to talk
too. Come on queer bait.
      (walking towards
And you call yourself a feminist.
John and Natalie exit scene.
What are the chances they do it
About the same as me winning a
Kasey enters upset.
      (to Kasey)
What's wrong?
Nothing. Lane's just being a dick.
You're talking like that's
That is my boyfriend you're
talking about.
Important things to remember.
Don't be silly Austin. Me and Nico
are just friends. And it's boys
versus girls tonight.
How is the tampon tyranny?
The name's are just not coming


Fort Penis just rolls off the
tongue doesn't it.
Sure does dick licker.
Right now honestly I'm just trying
to avoid all of this noise.
We could go for a walk outside
y'know if you wanted too.
I think that sounds like a great
No it doesn't.
      (walking away)
Relax guys we're just going for a
stroll. We'll be back.
Nico and Kasey exit.
I swear the three of us are
John and Natalie are seen sitting together on the couch,
Natalie with a beer in her hand.
I don't understand why you wan't
to talk to me now.
I don't know. I guess i just felt
bad. The whole Fallon thing. I
left you in the dark. It wasn't
You weren't the only one.


Yeah I know. It's just... It was
like seeing you was an old memory
Yeah and how's that.
It's just, when you're really
thinking about the better times
that have pass, you get a glimpse
of those feelings back, like a
moment was given back, but when
you start to feel it, there's this
loss, because you know it's not
coming back.
Yeah that's the general feeling.
What is it?
I really don't want to you to take
this the wrong way, and I have,
for the most part, come to terms
with me and Fallon. It's just
that, even though everyone tells
me I'm not, there's always this
shred of doubt that the only
reason any of these guys like me
is because of that faint feeling I
give of him.
      (Touches John's
I'm sorry. I know i didn't help
that. But you're not the dread of
the past. You're the hope of the
John looks down and shyly smiles.
You know it's funny. How some days
I feel like nothing at all and
others like I really... matter.
That's life bud.


Lane is seen off to the side putting a pill into a cup of
beer and walking over to John and Natalie.
Hey what's up guys?
Natalie gives a half hearted wave and John just looks down
trying not to make eye contact.
What's wrong?
Nico told me you called me a
That's what I call my friends. You
know, it's just me and my faggots.
We're kinda having a conversation
over here.
Well now we're having a
conversation. I just came to be
give Natalie (puts down in front
of Natalie) a drink and you
decided to be a total prick.
We all know what you really want
to GIVE Natalie.
You better watch what you're
fucking saying.
Can you just fuck off. Don't you
have a girlfriend you should be
That's what i get for trying to be
Lane angrily walks away and meets up with his friend


Sorry but it looks like you just
struck out.
Oh just wait my friend. You'll
see. (Cut to beer cup in front of
Natalie) She'll come around. Just
you wait.
Cameron and Lane exit.
I have no idea what Kasey sees in
that guy.
That's really the main reason
we're doing this gender wars
thing. It's just for her to see
she is strong enough to be on her
How's the "beer only" rule going.
It's so disgusting.
John takes the drugged beer.
Here let me have that. I haven't
had a drink all night.
Why have you been going easy?
Austin just is afraid I'll get to
messed up tonight and cause a
problem. (takes a big swig of beer
and coughs) Ridiculous, right?
Kasey and Nico are seen sitting on the sidewalk laughing.
How mad was your dad?


He was so drunk he probably didn't
even remember we were his
The laughing dies down and there is a silence outside.
Can I ask you about your something
about your sister?
Feel free.
Even after she left you, broke
your heart, why do you still carry
that pocket watch around?
Nico pulls it out of his pocket, and looks down on it.
It's funny, you know? Not like
hilarious, but just interesting i
guess. She gave it to me when she
went on to senior week with her
older friends to the beach. I was,
a superman fanatic. I was full
blown geek for it, and when my
sister left, all I could do was
look at. Count the seconds tick,
tick, ticking away till my best
friend came back. Even after then
I would do it when ever she left
the house, even if it was like
five minutes to go to the post
office. I would just open and
close it constantly, like I could
actually move time. Since the
day... the day she left for good,
it still feels like she could stop
in anytime. Like if just stared at
this stupid watch for another
second, it would bring her back.
And then a second becomes a
minute, and a minute becomes an
hour, and I realize I'm obsessive.
The reason I still carry it
around, is that each tick gives me
hope that she's still coming home.
I don't know, it's stupid.


No it's not. It's really sweet.
Or maybe I'm just an idiot for
I promise that whoever it is, once
you meet Nico Galloway, it's
impossible to forget them.
Nico smiles, and Kasey's iphone begins playing "Stolen
Dance" by Milky Chance.
I love this song.
Stolen Dance?
Yeah. I never learned how too.
You're kidding.
Nope. Never danced a day in my
Kasey stands up and holds out her hand.
Come on lets go.
Now YOU must be kidding.
Not in the slightest.
Someone could see us.
Who cares. Just stand up you
Nico reluctantly stands up and Kasey pulls him in closer.


      (directing Nico)
Now put your hands on my hips (she
grabs his hands and places them)
and just follow my lead.
This is a mistake.
Does it feel like a mistake. Now
twirl me.
Nico puts up his arm and slowly twirls Kasey and they both
laugh at each other.
Now pull me back in.
They both dance close together.
No go in for the dip.
Nico dips Kasey and holds her there and romantically looks
in her eyes.
I know what to do next.
Nico leans in and passionately kisses Kasey. She touches his
cheek and they pull each other up and kiss romantically in
the moonlight.
John is seen drugged out of his mind walking in a daze
around the party while "Sleepy Head" by Passion Pit plays
heavily in the back ground. Jimmy sees him and rolls over
You alright bud?
I'm so drunk I'm seeing colors and
I only had ONE beer! Did you get
I don't think you're drunk John.
Who gave you that beer.


Lane gave it to Natalie and she
gave it too me. I swear this disco
ball we're in is INSANE!
All three run over to the situation.
What's going on?
John's been drugged.
What the fuck!
You mean like a pot?
Robbie sits down John and puts headphones on John.
Here. Just sit down and listen to
music. Don't move.
It cuts to John's perspective and all he can here is "When
Will the Bass Drop" by The Lonely Island blasting through
the headphones which is tripping him out even more. It cuts
out of his perspective and the music stops.
Jimmy, how did this happen?
It was that shit head Lane. He
tried to slip Natalie something
but John drank HER beer.
Oh my god he's right.
I'm gonna kill that asshole.
He was going to rape me.
It cuts back to John's perspective with the music blasting.
Everyone begins arguing in front of him and he gets up and


walks away with out anyone noticing. It cuts out of his
We can't call the police!
We have too. We don't even know
what this guy slipped John. It
could kill him for all we know.
He wanted to rape me not kill me.
Who cares! Send his ass off to
Along with everyone else here.
This is your house Jimmy.
I'm willing to bite the bullet.
This guy fucked with the wrong
Guys where the hell did John go?
It cuts back to John and the music plays throughout the rest
of the song, still playing The Lonely Island "When Will the
Bass Drop". John's face looks angry and he walks over to
Lane and Cameron.
The fuck you looking at snowflake?
Lanes eyes go wide and he realizes John took the drug.
      (Quietly to
Knock him out.
Cameron puts his hands on John, but John shoves him off and
makes a Karate noise.


pushes him). THAT'S HOMOPHOBIC!
Oh no.
Austin begins to hurry over as Rob and Jimmy head to the
kitchen. Cameron pushes John and punches Austin to the
ground. The music gets louder and picks up. John gets pushed
around until suddenly, Lane wraps his arms around John from
behind like Robbie did when they trained. John's eye opens
wide and time stops. The bass drops, and CRASH! John flips
Lane flawlessly over his shoulder into a glass table.
Everyone looks in astonishment including to focused shots on
Robbie and Austin. Cameron picks up John and begins to spin
him in a circle. John screams and Cameron tossed him across
the room.
Hey bitch!
Jimmy is scene with rob wearing a football helmet.
Rob begins sprinting with Jimmy straight towards Cameron.
This is a bad idea.
Just run!
Jimmy rams into Cameron full blast and all three of them fly
outside through the screen door. Jimmy lands on top of
Cameron and Rob pulls him off back towards his chair,
dragging him.
I'll bight your legs off!
John gets up, and lane charges him, but his punched down by
Austin before he can reach him. He kicks Austin's legs out
and floors him. Natalie runs over, but Lane smacks her
across the face. John sees this, and enraged, tackles Lane
outside. The whole party crowds around them and Lane begins


throwing flurries of punches. John begins attacking right
You're a bigger bitch than Fallon!
John begins making contact with his hits, and right when it
seems like he's about to win, Lane rocks him to the floor.
You're weak! I'm stronger than you
in every way!
I have one thing you don't.
Nico comes in and knocks Lane back with a square hit to the
Jaw. Jimmy, Robbie, Austin, Natalie, and Kasey all group up
with John and Nico and stand together. Austin helps John up
and he stands with a limp. Lane stands up and sees Kasey
with group.
Kasey what the fuck!
We're done creep. Go to hell.
      (to John)
You little shit! You better start
marking your days. You think
you're their friends. You're there
replacement. You're the second dog
after the first one dies. And one
day you're gonna string yourself
up just like the last one did.
John steps forward.
You're wrong! I may not be able to
see straight, but I'm level headed
enough to know I got it figured
out. You can kick the shit out of
me, bruise me, and knock me down
all you want, because I'll always
have somebody to pick me up, and
that makes me stronger than you
can ever be. It doesn't matter
what we lost. Friends. Family.
Just being able to walk, it means


                       JOHN (cont'd)
nothing, cause when we come
together, we're anything but
broken. These aren't my friends,
this is my family, and I'm not
just living for myself anymore.
We're all in it for each other,
There is a silence, as lane grimaces and everyone stares him
down. He grumbles to himself, and limps away, putting the
party in cheers. Kasey kisses Nico.
It's about dam'n time.
Welcome to Fort Penis.
Wait, John.
Know he's right. We're all in this
together now.
No more maxi pads to the face?
Austin slaps Rob across the face with a condom and he starts
Lube in my mouth. Lube in my
Am i going to remember any of
I'll be sure to fill in the
missing blanks.
Natalie kisses John on the cheek.
There's no way in hell I'm
forgetting that.
Well dude to the screen door and
glass table being totally
destroyed, I think I'm busted when


                       JIMMY (cont'd)
my parents come home.
Well dude to the screen door and
glass table being totally
destroyed, I think I'm busted when
my parents come home.
Rob puts his hand on John's shoulder.
I can't believe you nailed that
Yeah well i had a good teacher.
Rob punches John in the stomach and begins chuckling to
Lick my clit!
Alright everybody, raise your hand
if you need ice.
Everyone but Nico, Kasey, and John raise there hands.
You too John.
But I can't even feel it.
That's the drugs.
Marijuana is not awesome.
You don't know much about drugs do
Just that they make my legs go
They all go inside still talking and music plays out the


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