Home Screenwriting Products Screenwriter Community Screenwriting Store
ScriptBuddy - Screenwriting Software for the Web

Screenwriter Community

Back to List of Published Screenplays
View/Leave Feedback

Chronicles of Unc: Pilot
by Sean Roane (theseanroane@gmail.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

A struggling casino security guard is on the verge of being evicted until his alcoholic uncle unexpectedly becomes his roommate.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



CHRONICLES OF UNC: PILOT

FADE IN:

INT. BRIAN'S PLACE - BEDROOM - MORNING
                                                            
An episode of Martin plays on the TV as BRIAN sleeps
peacefully. A heavily intoxicated UNC barges in.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye, Nephew! Aye, listen.
                                                            
UNC sits on the edge of BRIAN's bed and taps him on the
back.
                                                            
                       UNC
What's up, nigga?
                                                            
BRIAN wakes up.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (laughs)
What you doin', boy?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What you want, man?
                                                            
                       UNC
Let's go get somethin' to drink,
nigga.
                                                            
BRIAN reaches for his phone on the nightstand. It is 6:26
A.M.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Yo, Unc, you trippin'. It is 6:30
in the mornin'. Get out of my
room.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (sucks teeth)
It ain't no damn 6:30 in the
mornin'. Take me to the liquor
store, nigga. We need more to
drink.
                                                            
BRIAN puts a pillow over his head.
                                                            
                       UNC
I wanna get 2 40s of Hurricane and
a pint of E&J.
                                                            

2.

                       BRIAN
Leave me alone.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (sucks teeth)
Aw, there you go. Bipolar just
like ya motha. Boy, I tell ya.
                                                            
UNC smacks BRIAN on the back again.
                                                            
                       UNC
Come on, nigga!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (furious)
Get the fuck out of my room!
                                                            
                       UNC
      (sucks teeth)
Whateva.
                                                            
UNC stumbles his way out of BRIAN's room. BRIAN watches as
UNC stumbles and falls in the bathroom.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aw, shit.
                                                            
BRIAN watches as Unc struggles to get up.
                                                            
                       BRIAN V.O.
Most of us have that one shot out
uncle. The crazy one that's always
drunk and showin' his ass.The one
that lived in the basement when
you were a kid. The one everybody
just cannot fuckin' stand!
In my case, that uncle is my
mother's oldest brother, Melvin.
Somehow, my ass agreed to let this
dude stay with me. I wish I could
go back and do that whole week
different!
                                                            
 
INT. BRIAN'S PLACE - BATHROOM - MORNING
                                                            
BRIAN brushes his teeth and washes his face in the mirror.A
Youtube video of the ZoWhat Morning Show plays on his phone.
                                                            
KITCHEN
                                                            
BRIAN looks in the refrigerator. In the refrigerator is a
gallon of water, a carton of eggs, a bottle of ketchup and a

3.

bottle of ranch.He closes the refrigerator door, opens the
freezer door and finds nothing. He opens a cabinet with a
pack of chicken flavored Oodles of Noodles, and a bag of
sour cream chips.

BRIAN boils a pack of noodles on the stove.
                                                            
LIVING ROOM
                                                            
BRIAN sits on the couch with the bowl of noodles. He grabs
the remote and turns the TV on, but the cable is off.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Shit! They turned the cable off.
                                                            
                       BRIAN V.O.
I ain't shit. I'm 27 with a job
that I hate, a car that's on its
last limb and an associates degree
that seems to serve no purpose in
my life. I never keep a girlfriend
because I hate havin' to take
someone else's life into
consideration when I don't have my
own shit together. All I really
care about is bein' able to pay my
rent for my crib that I'm always
'bout to get kicked out of.
Everything else is in the way.
                                                            
EXT. FRONT DOOR
                                                            
PAUL knocks on the door.He reads a text on his phone.
                                                            
                       PAUL
What? Fuck you. This freakin'
woman is nuts...What a bitch!
                                                            
BRIAN answers the door.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What's up, Paul?
                                                            
                       PAUL
I know it's early, Brian, but my
wife's been up my ass about the
rent. You told me you'd have it
sometime this week. I know it's
been rough since Carl moved out,
but this is the second time you've
been late and we can't turn this
into a habit because that's just
bad for the both of us. The wife
wants ya gone and she's been in my
            (MORE)

4.

                       PAUL (cont'd)
ear and I've just been defendin'
ya. And I'm not defending ya
because I like ya. I'm defending
you because my wife is an absolute
bitch and a control freak and I'm
slowly growing my balls back.
Screw her, dude! She a freaking
cunt and I had to go marry her and
have 3 annoying kids with her and
I swear Alec isn't mine. The bitch
is totally fucking a trainer at
Retro Fitness and she thinks I
don't know about it. But whatever.
We are both gonna have a big
fucking problem if you don't pay
up. You know the drill, dude.I
need the rent this week. Now, I'm
gonna finish off this bottle of
Jameson and watch porn on this
bitch's iPad.
                                                            
PAUL's phone rings.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Just figure it out, Brian.
                                                            
PAUL answers the phone as he walks to the van.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Yes! I just spoke with him and I'm
on my way to Shoprite right now!..
No, I haven't been drinkin'!
                                                            
LIVING ROOM
                                                            
BRIAN closes the door.He sits on the couch and lights a
blunt that he pulls from his pocket.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Whateva. I ain't gon stress about
it.
                                                            
LISA knocks on the door.BRIAN looks out the window.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Shit.
                                                            
BRIAN answers the door.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Hey, Ma.
                                                            

5.

                       LISA
Where's my money?
                                                            
LISA enters.
                                                            
                       LISA
I see you still smokin' that skunk
weed. That's why yo ass don't ever
have any money! Where's my money?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Ma! I told you I had to pay rent.
                                                            
                       LISA
Damn! Always late on somethin'! I
wasn't late givin' it to you! I'm
on vacation this week, I could use
that couple dollas! But no, you
wanna spend ya money on sour or
whateva else and expect me to give
you my hard earned money every
time that car fuck up! You done
tore my damn car up!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Now it's your car.
                                                            
                       LISA
I gave it to you, didn't I?
Anyway.. Did you see what your ol'
stupid ass friend Jay Fraze put on
Facebook last night?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Nah, what he do now?
                                                            
                       LISA
Look at this fool.
                                                            
LISA pulls out her phone and plays JAY FRAZE's video on
Facebook.
                                                            
INT. NJ TRANSIT TRAIN - FROM PHONE - NIGHT
                                                            
JAY FRAZE records UNC talking in his sleep.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye! Did you hear what I said?
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
Yo! Unc! You good, bruh?
                                                            

6.

                       UNC
Come here! I said come here! Aye!
You heard what I said? Let's get
the fuck outta here. Yeah. Baby, I
said let's get the fuck outta
here!
                                                            
UNC puts his hand in his pants.
                                                            
                       UNC
Baby! Baby! Come here. Take your
shirt off.I said take your shirt
off! Take your...you hear what I
said? Baby! Come here. Hello?
Hello? Take your... Let me see.
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
      (laughing)
Yo this nigga is wildin'!
                                                            
                       UNC
Baby, take it off! Take it off! I
said take it... Baby! Baby! Don't
be like that, baby....Baby, don't
be stupid. You know I just want a
taste.
                                                            
The train stops. As JAY FRAZE stands up UNC begins to
urinate on himself.
                                                            
                       UNC
Denise! Denise! Baby! Don't do
that.
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
Old head really pissin' on his
self!
                                                            
End of video.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (shaking head)
Wow.
                                                            
                       LISA
I started to leave a comment and
tell him to take it down, but
that's what Melvin stupid ass get.
And I bet you he slept on that
train all the way to Philly with
his drunk ass.
                                                            

7.

                       BRIAN
Damn, I ain't even been seein' Unc
around like I normally do. I
usually catch him comin' out the
liquor store on Virginia Avenue.
                                                            
                       LISA
He probably been in the county.
And when you do see him don't get
his ass nothing to drink and don't
give him no money...Let me go. I
ain't got time to be bullshittin'
with you.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Alright, Ma.
                                                            
                       LISA
Don't think I'ma forget about my
damn money. And clean up in here!
Do somethin! I'm leavin'.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Bye, Ma.
                                                            
                       LISA
Triflin' ass.
                                                            
 
INT. CASINO - PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
An oldies station plays on the radio as BRIAN smokes a blunt
in his white '04 Taurus. He is wearing a security uniform. A
walkie talkie is on the dashboard.
                                                            
BRIAN plugs a cord into his phone and plays music by Sean
Roane. LARRY calls him on the radio. BRIAN ignores the call.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Alpha 1 to officer Nelson.
                                                            
BRIAN relights the blunt.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Alpha 1 to officer Nelson.
                                                            
BRIAN takes a few more quick pulls of the blunt,sprays
himself with cologne, grabs the walkie and exits the car.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Officer Nelson to Alpha 1.
                                                            

8.

                       LARRY
Officer Nelson, please 10-10 to
the office.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
10-4.
                                                            
BRIAN reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of gum.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Here we go with the bullshit. Only
people I know that call you on
your break.
                                                            
 
INT. MANAGER'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
LARRY sits at his desk and watches surveillance footage of
other officers. BRIAN enters and takes a seat. LARRY pulls
out his walkie talkie as he watches an officer in his area.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Officer Salazar, please return to
your zone.
                                                            
LARRY places the walkie talkie on the desk.
                                                            
                       LARRY
This guy's a fuckin' idiot, man.
Jeez.
      (to Brian)
What's up, Brian?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
I don't know man. You called me up
here.
                                                            
                       LARRY
I know I called ya on your break.
You guys get paid breaks anyway.
When I'm done firing your ass you
can break as long as you want.
                                                            
LARRY places an energy drink on the desk.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (confused)
Wait...what?
                                                            
                       LARRY
Really, man? If i wanted to fire
you, you woulda been gone a couple
years ago when I got promoted to
manager. I just wanted to tell you
            (MORE)

9.

                       LARRY (cont'd)
that we decided to go with someone
else for the new supervisor
position.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Oh.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Yeah, man. I was pullin' for you
hard, but the director had someone
else in mind. I do want to ask you
if you're interested in being the
new report writer. You showed
before that you can write pretty
decent reports.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Do I get a raise?
                                                            
                       LARRY
That's something we'll have to
look into, but you keep being a
good officer and writing good
reports. I'm sure somethin' will
open up eventually.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (disappointed)
Okay, cool. Can I go back now?
                                                            
                       LARRY
Sure, bro.
                                                            
Exit BRIAN. LARRY views the monitor and sees OFFICER SALAZAR
sitting down.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Dude, what the fuck?
                                                            
LARRY grabs a walkie talkie.
                                                            
                       LARRY
Officer Salazar, 10-10 to the
office.
                                                            
 
INT. CASINO - PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
BRIAN and JADE walk out of the the elevators and head toward
Brian's car.
                                                            

10.

                       JADE
Yo that's crazy, yo! I can't
freakin' believe they didn't
promote your ass to supervisor.
You've been here longer than me!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
And I'm still only makin' 13 an
hour.
                                                            
                       JADE
They probably didn't promote you
because you stay comin' here
blasted. They asked me to do it
last month, but I said no 'cause I
hate Larry's ass. I couldn't
imagine bein' in that office with
him.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
I just needed that extra couple
dollas. You know I been strugglin'
since Carl moved out. Fuck it...
You hit your mans about that tree?
                                                            
BRIAN and JADE get into the car.
                                                            
                       JADE
You know it! He said he got some
shit called Rainbow Kush.
                                                            
INSIDE CAR
                                                            
BRIAN tries to start the car, but it makes a clicking sound.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Fuck! Not again!
                                                            
                       JADE
Damn, nigga. You just got this
shit fixed.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
I just got this shit out the shop
last week. That's why I'm broke as
hell right now. I have no bread.
                                                            
                       JADE
So what you gon do?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (shaking head)
Man..
                                                            

11.

                       JADE
You gon call AAA? I could call my
girl to come get us, but we gotta
wait 'til she get off.
                                                            
BRIAN attempts one more time and the car turns on.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Finally! Shit!
                                                            
 
INT. BRIAN'S CAR - ATLANTIC AVENUE - NIGHT
                                                            
JADE is rolling a blunt.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
That ain't about shit though. You
act like you don't have hella
chicks on you right now.
                                                            
                       JADE
I do, but this chick been ridin'
wit me for like 2 years. She does
everything for me.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
She crazy as hell. I was done with
her after you told me she cursed
you out at P.F. Changs all crazy
that one time. Y'all just need
some dick in your life. Too much
estrogen in that situation.
                                                            
                       JADE
Here you go. I can't stand you.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
You know it's the truth! Why not?
Every time you and Gabby break up
she goes and gets some dick! Dick
will change your life, Jade!
                                                            
                       JADE
Oh, God.
                                                            
INT. LIQUOR STORE
                                                            
UNC grabs 2 Natural Ice beers from the cooler. There are 2
female customers in front of the counter talking very loud
to the Indian man behind the counter.A short man wearing a
hoodie approaches UNC.
                                                            

12.

                       SHORT MAN
Wassup, OG? I got loosies for 50
cent.
                                                            
UNC ignores the man and walks to the counter.
                                                            
                       FEMALE CUSTOMER 1
How y'all not have no more Peach E
& J? You know that's my shit!
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
Sorry. The new shipment hasn't
come in yet.
                                                            
                       FEMALE CUSTOMER 1
Y'all wack. Then let me get a pint
of E&J VSOP and 2 shots of Admiral
Nelson.
                                                            
INDIAN MAN gets the items requested.FEMALE CUSTOMER 2 looks
at her phone.
                                                            
                       FEMALE CUSTOMER 2
      (anxious)
Come on! We gotta go! This nigga
blackin' on me because the door
locked. Like nigga nobody told you
to leave. Like I didn't know you
was down there fuckin' with that
fat white girl. Fuck outta here,
bruh, like.
                                                            
                       FEMALE CUSTOMER 1
Oh! And can I get 2 loosies?
                                                            
INDIAN MAN brings the items to the counter. As he's ringing,
he notices UNC.
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
10.49
      (to UNC)
Hey! Hey! What are you doing in
here?
                                                            
                       UNC
      (sucks teeth)
What you mean,"what am I doin'
here"? What you think I'm doin'
here?
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
You're not allowed in my store!
You need to leave!
                                                            

13.

FEMALE CUSTOMER 1 & 2 exit the store.
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
      (pointing finger)
You get the hell out of my store!
                                                            
                       UNC
You know what? Fuck you and your
store! I don't like yo ass anyway!
You dot head mothafuckas always
come over here openin' up shit and
don't have to pay taxes for 6
years!
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
Fuck you, you bum!
                                                            
UNC drops both beers.
                                                            
                       UNC
Fuck you! And ya fat ass wife!
                                                            
                       INDIAN MAN
You dirty son of a bitch! You get
the hell out right now or I'm
calling the police! And I bet you
have warrants!
                                                            
                       UNC
Suck a dick.
                                                            
UNC exits the store.
                                                            
BRIAN'S CAR
                                                            
JADE is smoking a blunt while scrolling through Facebook on
her phone.
                                                            
                       JADE
I still don't know how you hang
with Jay Fraze. He's so ignorant
and he keep thinkin' he know me
because we went out when I was
like 15.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Oh, you talkin' bout before you
started lettin' girls sit on your
face? Pass the stick.
                                                            
                       JADE
No, nigga! I just lit it.
                                                            

14.

ATLANTIC AVENUE
                                                            
UNC drunkenly walks across the street.Incoming cars stop and
beep.
                                                            
                       UNC
Fuck that mothafucka.
                                                            
BRIAN'S CAR
                                                            
BRIAN is smoking.Music by Sean Roane is playing on the
radio.
                                                            
                       JADE
Yo! Sean Roane be goin' in!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
You know that's my guy.
                                                            
BRIAN drops the blunt.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Oh shit!
                                                            
BRIAN reaches for the blunt on the floor. As he puts his
head down, JADE sees UNC crossing the street.
                                                            
                       JADE
Brian!
                                                            
BRIAN quickly breaks in front of UNC. UNC gives BRIAN the
middle finger.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye, fuck you!
                                                            
UNC walks toward the sidewalk.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc? Yo, Unc!
                                                            
BRIAN parks the car. He and JADE get out and meet UNC on the
sidewalk.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc! What's good?
                                                            
                       UNC
Who the hell are you?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (laughing to Jade)
This guy bent.
      (to Unc)
            (MORE)

15.

                       BRIAN (cont'd)
Unc, it's me, Brian!
                                                            
                       UNC
Brian who? You ain't no damn Brian
I know.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
You really trippin', Unc. Lisa's
son.
                                                            
UNC takes a good look at BRIAN.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (suprised)
Nephew! I almost ain't recognize
ya!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
You wildin'.Why you walkin' across
the street like you can't get hit?
                                                            
                       UNC
      (blow)
I had got into it with that dot
head mothafucka across the street.
He's a bitch. I'm out here waitin'
for one of my women to get off the
bus so I can lay down this dick.
She said she was gonna be here at
9.
                                                            
Jade looks at the time on here phone.
                                                            
                       JADE
It's 11:33, Unc.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (to Brian)
Who this? This you, Nephew?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
No, man. You know that's Jade!
Uncle Kenny used to go wit her
mom.
                                                            
                       UNC
      (blow)
Fuck that mothafuckin' Kenny. He's
an asshole.
                                                            

16.

                       BRIAN
Alright, Unc. You alright? Where
Denise?
                                                            
                       UNC
Her ass is at the Red Carpet Inn.
I'm out here doin' my thang. Don't
be all up in my business lil'
nigga, you don't know nothin' bout
this playa shit.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (laughs)
You got it, Unc. I'ma catch you
later. Don't get into no shit.
                                                            
BRIAN and JADE begin to walk to the car.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye, Nephew! Aye, listen.
                                                            
BRIAN rolls his eyes as he turns around.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye, you got a couple bucks?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (sigh)
Yeah, man.
                                                            
BRIAN pulls a $5 bill from his pocket and hands it to UNC.
                                                            
                       UNC
'Preciate it, Nephew.
                                                            
BRIAN and JADE get in the car and drive off. UNC walks out
in the street and almost gets hit by a car.
                                                            
BRIAN'S CAR
                                                            
                       BRIAN
He ain't gon do shit, but take
that money and buy beer.
                                                            
                       JADE
Then why'd you give it to him?
                                                            
BRIAN pulls out his phone and reads a text message.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
I don't know, but this freak jawn
I met off of POF just hit me.
Light up!
                                                            
 

17.

INT. BRIAN'S PLACE - MORNING
                                                            
BRIAN and POF GIRL,a fairly attractive latina, make out in
front of the door.
                                                            
                       POF GIRL
Stop it, you're makin' me horny
again.
                                                            
BRIAN grabs her butt and kisses her on the neck.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What's wrong with that?
                                                            
                       POF GIRL
My baby dad need the car.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Tell that nigga to catch the bus.
                                                            
                       POF GIRL
      (giggle)
You stupid, baby.
                                                            
OUTSIDE
                                                            
UNC is passed out on a chair in front of Brian's place. On
the ground next to him is an empty pint of Gilbey's vodka
and a black plastic bag containing a beer.
                                                            
                       UNC
Denise! Denise! Baby, come here!
Come here! Hello?
                                                            
POF GIRL exits Brian's place.BRIAN sees UNC out the window.
                                                            
                       UNC
Baby, baby...Denise.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc!
                                                            
                       UNC
Lay down.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc! Unc! Get up!
                                                            
BRIAN shakes UNC.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Wake up, fool!
                                                            

18.

UNC is unresponsive.BRIAN walks inside and comes out with a
bottle of water. BRIAN pours the water on top of UNC's head.
UNC instantly wakes up.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc! Wake up! What you doin'
passed out in front of my crib?
                                                            
                       UNC
      (blow)
That crazy mothafucka.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Who?
                                                            
                       UNC
Denise. Denise thought I was out
screwin' around so she wouldn't
let me in. Bitch called the cops
too.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Called the cops?
                                                            
                       UNC
Hell yeah. Had to get the hell
away from there.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Why didn't you knock?
                                                            
                       UNC
I did, but I saw you was in there
doin' your thing with some girl.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Ew! You watched?
                                                            
                       UNC
Hell no! Now what I look like
watchin' yo ass screw? I just
needed somewhere to lay low for a
minute til my other girl get off
work.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Oh alright. What time she get off,
playa?
                                                            
                       UNC
Uh, she should be gettin' off
around 2.
                                                            

19.

                       BRIAN
Alright. You can kick it in the
crib if you want. You don't have
to be out here lookin' all crazy.
                                                            
                       UNC
Okay.Cool,nephew. I know you got
somethin' to drink in there.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Nothin' but water.
                                                            
                       UNC
Alright. You know you always been
my favorite nephew.
                                                            
BEGIN FLASHBACK:
                                                            
EXT.LIQUOR STORE - DAY
                                                            
UNC stands in front of the store counting change.
                                                            
                       UNC
Shit. Shit, shit shit....Fuck.
                                                            
A young man approaches the store.
                                                            
                       UNC
Aye, my man. Aye, do you think you
can spare a lil change?
                                                            
The young man rejects UNC and enters the store. UNC walks to
the side of the store and urinates.
                                                            
SCHOOL PLAYGROUND
                                                            
LITTLE BRIAN and 2 other boys play wrestling. BOY 1 has BOY
2 in the sharpshooter. LITTLE BRIAN hits BOY 1 with a
clothesline.
                                                            
                       LITTLE BRIAN
Shawn Michaels hits Bret Hart with
the clothesline! Razor Ramon gonna
get it to!
                                                            
LITTLE BRIAN kicks BOY 2 in the chin.
                                                            
                       LITTLE BRIAN
Sweet chin music! Sweet chin
music!
                                                            
BOY 2 holds his face as he begins to cry.
                                                            

20.

                       BOY 2
You kicked me hard! I don't wanna
play wit you no more!
                                                            
BOY 1 & 2 run off. LITTLE BRIAN sees UNC walking and runs to
the fence.
                                                            
                       LITTLE BRIAN
Uncle Melvin! Uncle Melvin!
                                                            
                       UNC
Hey ol' big head boy! You bein'
good?
                                                            
Teachers blow their whistles.
                                                            
                       LITTLE BRIAN
Yeah! Look what I got!
                                                            
LITTLE BRIAN pulls out a dollar bill.
                                                            
                       UNC
Oh nice! Can Uncle Melvin see?
                                                            
LITTLE BRIAN gives UNC the dollar.
                                                            
                       UNC
If you let me have this I'll buy
you a whole bunch of candy from
the store.
                                                            
                       LITTLE BRIAN
Okay! I gotta go Uncle Melvin!
Bye!
                                                            
LITTLE BRIAN runs to join the class.
                                                            
                       UNC
Bye, nephew! Be good boy!
                                                            
As LITTLE BRIAN walks into the school he sees 2 police
officers get out of a car and stop UNC.
                                                            
END FLASHBACK:
                                                            
 
INT. UNCLE GEORGE'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
UNCLE GEORGE is scrolling through a tablet at the desk as
SISTER BLOCKER cleans.
                                                            

21.

                       UNCLE GEORGE
Sister Blocker, it truly is a sin
how you still got me up in here
starvin'.
                                                            
                       SISTER BLOCKER
Reverend, now don't you start your
stuff. There's still baked chicken
and potato salad in that
refrigerator from Sunday's
service.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Baked Chicken? And who made the
potato salad?
                                                            
                       SISTER BLOCKER
Sista Jones.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Oh no. I'll pass. Order us some
wings.
                                                            
                       SISTER BLOCKER
Ugh!
                                                            
SISTER BLOCKER exits. BRIAN enters.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Got the whole church nice and
clean, Uncle George. Pews lookin'
all shiny.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Thank you, Brian. I'll take care
of you when I leave here. Gotta go
to the ATM.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Okay, cool. I'm surprised you
called me. I thought you had Uncle
Melvin cleanin' the church.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Fuck Melvin.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (laughing
       hysterically)
What? Why you say that?
                                                            

22.

                       UNCLE GEORGE
He gon cuss me out in front of my
members.
                                                            
BEGIN FLASHBACK:
                                                            
INT. CHURCH - DAY
                                                            
The organ player leads a choir practice with 4 members. UNC
is on his knees polishing a pew.
                                                            
                       UNC
Fat ass nigga gonna make me polish
some pews. I'm the older brother.
                                                            
UNC stands up.
                                                            
                       UNC
You know what? Forget this.
                                                            
UNC walks in the back.
                                                            
                       UNC
Man, forget this! Why I got to
clean up your church to get a
couple dollas? You need to get one
of them fake ass members in your
congregation to clean up! I'm not
gonna be cleanin' for yo ass! I'm
your brother!
                                                            
The choir is in shock.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Melvin, I'm gonna give you your
little 50 dollars and you can get
outta here.
                                                            
                       UNC
Damn right I'ma get outta here!
You not gonna have me around these
fake ass niggas cleanin'
bathrooms!
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Here. Now go.
                                                            
                       UNC
You know what, George? Fuck yo fat
ass! You ain't nothin' but a pimp
behind the pulpit.
                                                            

23.

                       UNCLE GEORGE
Get out!
                                                            
                       UNC
Reverend Ike ass nigga!
                                                            
The door slams.
                                                            
END FLASHBACK:
                                                            
INT. UNCLE GEORGE'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (laughing)
Y'all crazy! He at my spot now. He
was sleepin' outside by my door
this mornin'.
                                                            
                       UNCLE GEORGE
Oh yeah? You shoulda let him stay
his ass right out there. He gonna
try and move in with you next.
Watch.
                                                            
 
INT. BRIAN'S PLACE - EVENING
                                                            
BRIAN enters. UNC is on the couch snoring.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc! Unc!
                                                            
UNC wakes up.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What happened? I thought you was
catchin' the bus.
                                                            
JAY FRAZE knocks at the door.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Who is it?
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
Jay Fraze, nigga!
                                                            
BRIAN opens the door.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What's good, my guy?
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
Oh shit! Ya uncle here?
                                                            

24.

                       BRIAN
Yeah that's him. What good though?
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
I got bitches that wanna chill,
bruh!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Some rachet hoes? Or some fat
chicks?
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
C'mon, bruh! This my shorty from
Venice Park and her friend. They
both got jobs. I'm 'bout to go cop
a bottle and they bringin' the
bud. What you tryna do?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (shrugs)
I'm down.
                                                            
LIVING ROOM - LATER
                                                            
BRIAN,UNC and JAY FRAZE party with FEMALE CUSTOMER 1&2. They
play cards, dance and drink. UNC dances and makes advances
at the women.
                                                            
KITCHEN
                                                            
BRIAN smokes weed with FEMALE CUSTOMER 2.
                                                            
BATHROOM
                                                            
UNC walks in on JAY FRAZE and FEMALE CUSTOMER 1 having sex.
BRIAN rushes in to throw up in the toilet.
                                                            
LIVING ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
A groggy BRIAN walks in the living room and notices UNC
standing over FEMALE CUSTOMER 2 who is sleeping on the
couch.
                                                            
                       UNC
Hey. Baby...Baby. Hey listen.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc! Leave her alone, man! You
stay trippin'!
                                                            
                       UNC
Ah, well.
                                                            

25.

UNC sits down on a chair. BRIAN reads a text from 'Mom'
saying,"Don't be letting Melvins ass stay with you! He's a
freaking leech!"

BRIAN reads a text from PAUL saying, "Hello Brian we
seriously need to talk. The rent is way past due. I'm gonna
have to evict you if I don't have it today."
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Fuck my life man.
                                                            
                       UNC
What's wrong, nephew?
                                                            
                       BRIAN
Unc, we both 'bout to be out on
the street. I'm gettin' evicted if
I don't come up with this money.
                                                            
 
EXT. BRIAN'S PLACE - AFTERNOON
                                                            
UNC sits out front smoking a cigarette. JAY FRAZE approaches
UNC with a black bag containing beer. PAUL pulls up.
                                                            
                       UNC
Good lookin', young blood.
                                                            
                       JAY FRAZE
You already.
                                                            
JAY FRAZE walks up the street.
                                                            
                       PAUL
How ya doin? Is Brian in?
                                                            
                       UNC
He's not around right now.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Oh. Any idea when he'll be home?
                                                            
                       UNC
To tell the truth, I don't know.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Interesting. Okay. Please tell him
Paul the landlord came by and it's
really important.
                                                            
UNC pulls out another cigarette from the pack.
                                                            

26.

                       PAUL
Hey, would I by any chance be able
to bum one of those off of you?
It's been a long time. My wife
made me quit a long time ago.
                                                            
UNC hands PAUL a cigarette and a lighter.
                                                            
                       UNC
So you're Paul. Brian mentioned
you before. Somethin' about the
rent?
                                                            
                       PAUL
Yes. That's actually why I'm here.
                                                            
                       UNC
Okay! Yeah, he left somethin'
inside for ya! Let me go get it.
                                                            
                       PAUL
I'll come in too if you don't
mind.
                                                            
                       UNC
Sure! Not at all.
                                                            
PAUL and UNC enter Brian's place.
                                                            
 
INT. CASINO PARKING GARAGE - BRIAN'S CAR - NIGHT
                                                            
BRIAN gets in the car and it doesn't start.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
      (beat)
Fuck!
                                                            
 
EXT. STREET CORNER - NIGHT
                                                            
BRIAN gets off of the bus as if he's lost his best friend.
                                                            
INT. BRIAN'S PLACE - LIVING ROOM
                                                            
UNC and PAUL are sitting on the couch joyfully drinking.
                                                            
                       UNC
You know what though? As long as
you payin' the bills and takin'
care of the kids she can't tell
you shit. You can't let these
women dictate to you. I have to
set my girl straight on a weekly
            (MORE)

27.

                       UNC (cont'd)
basis. I'm a grown ass man!
                                                            
                       PAUL
Right! I'm a grown ass man!
                                                            
                       UNC
      (laugh)
Aye, you know what, Paul? You
alright with me.
                                                            
                       PAUL
You're freakin' cool too, Melvin.
                                                            
PAUL looks at his phone.
                                                            
                       PAUL
I should get out of here. She
called me 32 times already.
                                                            
BRIAN enters.
                                                            
                       UNC
Nephew! What's goin' on?
                                                            
BRIAN stands by the door with a look of confusion.
                                                            
                       PAUL
Hey, Brian. Your uncle is a good
man.
      (to UNC)
Melvin, you can keep the booze.
                                                            
                       UNC
Thank you. You take care, Paul!
                                                            
PAUL exits.
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What the hell was that?
                                                            
                       UNC
Nigga, I just paid yo rent!
                                                            
                       BRIAN
What? How?
                                                            
                       UNC
You know I get my check every
month. You're welcome. And you
don't have to pay me back either.
Just pay this damn cable bill and
we cool.
                                                            

28.

BRIAN covers his face as UNC drinks from the bottle.
                                                            
                       BRIAN V.O.
See what I got myself into? I'm
strugglin' so bad that my crazy,
drunk, uncle is helping me pay
bills and he's now my roommate.
Fuck you, Carl.
Sincerely,
Brian.
                                                            


FADE OUT.


Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
Feedback
There is currently no feedback for this screenplay.

Back to Top of Page
Leave Feedback
You must be logged in to leave feedback.
Home    My Account    Products    Screenwriter Community    Screenwriter's Corner    Help
Forgot Your Password?    Privacy Policy    Copyright 2018, ScriptBuddy LLC.    Email help@scriptbuddy.com