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WHAT I JUST SAW PART 1: 2008-2009
by Kevin Higgins (liamhiggins984@yahoo.com)

Rated: R   Genre: Comedy   User Review:
NOT YET
RATED

In the pilot for a new series called To Boldly Flee, a girl named Alyssa Michaels joins a website for internet reviewers only to find out the website is run by mismanagement from a sleazy CEO named Jimmie Williams.


This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.



FADE IN:

INT. WELLGANS PHARMACY - AFTERNOON
                                                            
ALYSSA MICHAELS, a young, 22-year old girl, is standing at
the counter, bored. MARGARET, the manager of the store, is
standing at her desk, talking to her.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Hey Alyssa, who are you going to
vote for? Obama or McCain?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Obama of course. I'm so sick of
Bush's crap, I can't vote for
another Republican right now.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
I know, right?! Bush has really
fucked this country up!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Tell me about it! What the hell is
the point of the Iraq War?! The
terrorists from 9/11 weren't even
from Iraq!
                                                            
                       MARGARET
I know! And how he handled
Katrina?! Kanye's right, George
Bush doesn't care about black
people!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Understatement of the year right
there!
                                                            
They laugh at the same time. A Customer walks up to Alyssa.
They hand Alyssa everything they bought and she scans all of
their items.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
That'll be $39.95!
                                                            
The Customer hands her their Wellgans card. She scans it but
it's declined.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I'm sorry but your card's been
declined.
                                                            

2.

                       RUDE CUSTOMER
What?! Check the expiration date!
                                                            
Alyssa looks at the expiration date.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, it expired yesterday, I'm
sorry about that. But you can buy
a new card.
                                                            
                       RUDE CUSTOMER
Sorry? Sorry! It's over by one
day! One fucking day! It's
ridiculous, you can't take a card
that's expired by one fucking
day?!
                                                            
Alyssa, OVERWHELMED by the customer's complaint, looks at
Margaret, NERVOUSLY.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa walks away from the counter as Margaret deals with
the customer. She looks EXASPERATED, wondering if this is
where her life is going to lead.
                                                            
                       RUDE CUSTOMER (V.O.)
This is freaking ridiculous! You
won't take a card that expired
yesterday?!
                                                            
                       MARGARET (V.O.)
I'm sorry but it's store policy.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting at a table, drinking beer with her
friends. There are halloween decorations on the windows near
where their sitting.
                                                            
                       DANIEL
Hey Alyssa, how've you been?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I'm good. How's law school going?
                                                            
                       DANIEL
Great. Just started my internship
with Minelli's firm.
                                                            
                       NICK
Really? That's great!
                                                            

3.

                       JUDY
That's really awesome.
                                                            
                       DANIEL
Thanks Nick. Thanks Judy.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, I'm really happy for you.
                                                            
Suddenly Alyssa gets sad, slightly jealous about Daniel's
internship. Alyssa starts thinking about her own life.

Begin Flashback:
                                                            
 
INT. ADMISSIONS OFFICE - FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is talking to the college admissions officer, whose
sitting behind a computer.
                                                            
                       ADMISSIONS OFFICER
So Alyssa, have you decided on a
major yet?
                                                            
Alyssa is nervous because she's still not sure.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Put me down for, uhh, liberal
studies.
                                                            
End Flashback.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa still thinks about the years she feels she's wasted
away.

Begin Flashback:
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAELS' HOUSE - FLASHBACK - DAY
                                                            
Many people are at the Michaels' house, celebrating Alyssa's
college graduation. JOHN, Alyssa's father, is looking at
Alyssa.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
I can't believe it, my baby girl
is growing up.
                                                            

4.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
      (NERVOUS)
Yeah and it just feels like
yesterday I was in diapers!
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
How'd you know what I was going to
say?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
      (NERVOUS)
'Cause you always say corny stuff
like that.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Now Alyssa's father is no longer there and her Aunt Janice
is talking to her.
                                                            
                       AUNT JANICE
It must be exciting to finally be
done with college.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa's cousin is now talking to her.
                                                            
                       COUSIN EMMANUEL
What's next? Are you going to go
straight to grad school or are you
going to take a year off?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa looks at him, nervously, not really sure what's next.

End Flashback.
                                                            
 
INT. BAR- NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa stares into the air, contemplating what her life has
become. She sighs.
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAELS' HOUSE - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa walks in the house. She passes by her Dad, whose
sitting on the couch, watching TV.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Hey honey, how was your---?
                                                            

5.

She walks upstairs, ignoring her father.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa walks into her room, which is filled with posters of
fake B-movies. She walks up to a shelf of DVD's and VHS's
and takes out a DVD copy of a movie called IRON BROTHER,
which has a big guy in a cheap robot costume looking down at
a shorter guy with an "uh oh" face.

She takes her laptop, which is on a desk near the shelf, and
lies down on the bed. Then she takes the DVD out of its case
and puts it in her laptop.
                                                            
 
INT. IRON BROTHER - LAB - NIGHT
                                                            
Scientists are in a lab, wearing lab coats and looking
through a microscope.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
We know these are scientists
because their looking through a
microscope. That's a science-y
thing!
                                                            
                       SCIENTIST#1
We must figure out the formula
quickly.
                                                            
                       SCIENTIST #2
Before it's too late.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
She giggles, feeling a little better about what's going on
in her life.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Wow the dialogue is cliche. Nice
to know they only used the first
draft.
                                                            
John knocks at the door
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Come in.
                                                            
John walks in.
                                                            

6.

                       JOHN MICHAELS
Hey, what are you up to?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Watching Iron Brother.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Can I watch?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Sure.
                                                            
He sits on the bed next to her.
                                                            
 
INT. IRON BROTHER - LAB - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
VIC, a skinny, sleazy man, walks into the lab with two
goons.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Goddammit, we should've locked the
door.
                                                            
                       SCIENTIST#1
Vic, what are you doing here?
                                                            
                       VIC
I need Iron Brother.
                                                            
                       SCIENTIST #2
You'll have to pry him from my
cold, dead hands.
                                                            
Vic smirks.
                                                            
                       VIC
That can be arranged.
                                                            
The goons start fighting Scientist#2 and suddenly
Scientist#2 turns into a much buffer, much younger man.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
You idiots! These are not them!
Those are their stunt doubles!
                                                            
Alyssa and John laugh.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
This movie's hilarious.
                                                            

7.

Alyssa pauses the movie.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I'm surprised you don't
legitimately like it. After all
the dialogue is so cliche, it's
like you wrote it!
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Am I that predictable?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Nah, you're not. So what's going
on?
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Yeah, I was just wondering, is
everything okay?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Everything's fine. Why do you ask?
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
It just seems like something's
bugging you. Are you sure there's
not something you want to talk
about?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It's just...I don't know what to
do with my life.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Well you just graduated college, I
wouldn't worry about it too much.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
That's the point of college,
you're supposed to figure out what
you want to do there! My friends
all seem to have their shit
figured out but me? No!
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Hey, I didn't exactly know what I
wanted to do with my future when I
graduated either.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
But you at least had some idea of
what field you wanted to get into.
I don't. All I know is I don't
want to work at Wellgan's for the
            (MORE)

8.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (cont'd)
rest of my life!
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
I understand how you feel. You
just have to see what's out there.
Don't worry, you'll figure it out.
                                                            
Alyssa smirks.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Very original, Dad. But seriously,
thanks.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
You're welcome. I gotta get going
but, if you need anything, I'll be
downstairs.
                                                            
John leaves. Alyssa sighs and lies down on the bed, still
not sure what she's going to do. She starts playing the
movie again.
                                                            
 
INT. IRON BROTHER - LAB - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The stunt double keeps fighting the goon when the DVD starts
skipping.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa gets frustrated with this and takes the DVD out of
the computer. She looks at the DVD and sees that it has a
huge scratch on the front of the disc. She sighs and pulls
up Youtube on her computer. She searches for Iron Brother.
She sees Iron Brother is split up into 9 parts. In between
those parts, she sees a video called WHAT I JUST SAW-IRON
MAN. This catches her curiosity and she presses play.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY
                                                            
ADRIAN MORRIS, a young, lanky internet reviewer, is sitting
behind a desk, talking to the camera.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hi I'm Adrian Morris and this is
What I Just Saw. Y'know, I had no
expectations for this movie. Most
recent superhero movies suck. The
first two Spider Man movies were
good, the first two X-men movies
were good, Blade II was good,
            (MORE)

9.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS (cont'd)
Batman Begins was awesome but
that's really about it. And then
there's the fact that it's based
on an obscure superhero. Who the
hell has ever heard of Iron Man?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian is dressed in nerdy clothes, standing behind a wall.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (NERDY VOICE)
I've heard of Iron Brother.
                                                            
 
EXT. IRON BROTHER - BUILDING - DAY
                                                            
Iron Brother and his "brother", David, are standing outside
a building.
                                                            
                       IRON BROTHER
David, it took me the last few
days to realize that just because
I'm a machine doesn't mean I'm not
also a man.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
What kind've movies do you watch?
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa laughs out loud at that line. This gets her hooked
and she decides to watch further.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
So Tony, whose like this superhero
version of Scrooge McDuck mixed
with a superhero version of Hugh
Hefner, is selling these weapons
only to almost be blown up by a
bomb.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Stock footage of a bomb going off.
                                                            

10.

                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian sitting at his desk.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Michael Bay must've directed that
scene.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa laughs at this.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
So Tony goes back to America and
announces that he's no longer
gonna build weapons for the
military. But his partner, The
Dude, says---.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa waits, wondering where this joke is going to go.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Adrian is standing behind a wall, dressed like The Dude from
The Big Lebowski.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (THE DUDE
       IMPRESSION)
The Dude does not abide.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa laughs out loud at this, like a HYENA.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
And then Iron Man and The Dude
fight.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            

11.

Adrian is playing with action figures of Iron Man and The
Dude.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
They make action figures of The
Dude?
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - IRON MAN - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
in the end credits, Nick Fury
shows up and asks Tony Stark to be
a part of The Avengers. Yes! They
are going to make a motherfucking
Avengers movie! Finally! And they
better not screw it up. Now, Hulk.
Hulk? Your last movie sucked and
you were directed by Ang Lee. He's
great. He made Crouching Tiger,
Hidden Dragon, and Brokeback
Mountain and even he couldn't make
a good superhero movie. If he
couldn't do it, it seemed like all
hope was lost and most other
superhero movies showed that. But
Hulk? Hulk-y Hulk? Prove us wrong
and show us that superhero movies
are here to stay. I'm Adrian
Morris and this is What I Just
Saw.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa smiles at the video, happy that it helped her get her
mind off the uncertainties lying ahead in her future.

She clicks on the link for his channel and sees a lot of
videos of his for both movies that just came out, including
THE DARK KNIGHT, MAMMA MIA, KUNG FU PANDA, etc. and movies
that came out in the past, including MANOS: THE HANDS OF
FATE, SPACE JAM, CARTOON ALL-STARS TO THE RESCUE, etc. She
clicks on another video.
                                                            
 
INT. ELECTRIC VILLAGE - NIGHT
                                                            
JIMMIE WILLIAMS, a passive aggressive employee at Electronic
Village, is in the toy aisle, on his phone, while his

12.

co-worker, SANJAY, is standing on a ladder, putting toys
away. Jimmie is looking up Adrian's videos. He scrolls by
videos for Adrian's other show, ADRIAN'S ADVICE CORNER,
where the thumbnail is him standing behind a counter looking
SMUG.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
There still isn't a new episode of
Adrian's Advice Corner?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Adrian told me he's gonna start
working on one next week, after he
finishes his review of Bangkok
Dangerous and a new episode of
Cartoon Therapist.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hey, speaking of Cartoon
Therapist, how about you put me on
that show?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Do you wanna do a voice for that
show?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Nah, let's make an episode about a
human who was traumatized by
cartoon characters. For example, I
used to think the lady from
Pee-Wee's Big Adventure and The
Devil's Rejects was hot. Then I
found out she was the voice of
Tommy Pickles. Real boner killer
there.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Yeah no.
                                                            
ELEANOR, the manager of the store, walks in from across the
aisle and sees Jimmie on the phone.
                                                            
                       ELEANOR
Hey Jimmie, get off the phone!
                                                            
Jimmie grumbles.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yes Eleanor.
                                                            
Jimmie puts his phone away. Eleanor sighs, ANNOYED, and
leaves.
                                                            

13.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
God Eleanor's a bitch!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Well, she's not exactly
wrong...you could be doing some
actual work. Like handing me those
Dora the Explorer dolls.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Well I am working. By watching
Adrian's videos, I'm thinking
about my business.
                                                            
Sanjay stops and looks at him, confused as to what he's
talking about.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
What?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Think about it dude. In the last
few years, the internet has become
huge. Leave Britney Alone,
Dramatic Chipmunk, Chocolate Rain,
Charlie Bit My Finger, Charlie The
Unicorn---all these videos have
made complete nobodies famous
overnight. Adrian is a perfect
example of that. His videos have
30,000 views!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Yeah, that's impressive and all
but he's still working as both a
graphic designer and a janitor so
what's your point?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
He shouldn't have to. And we
shouldn't have to work at these
dead end jobs. We should create an
internet only channel focused
around all his shows. He has
enough fans that I'm pretty sure
it would be a success.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
I dunno, sounds risky.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yeah, ya have to take risks, my
friend. Plus, you know Adrian, so
you can introduce him to me and we
            (MORE)

14.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (cont'd)
can get our business off the
ground.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
How about this? See if you can get
an investor for this channel. If
you can, I'm in.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
You're on.
                                                            
They shake on it.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmie is sitting in his room, looking up HOW TO DO A PITCH
EMAIL on his laptop.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S COMPUTER - NIGHT
                                                            
On Jimmie's computer, he writes DEAR MORGAN INVESTMENTS---.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Dear Morgan Investments---.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
On Jimmie's computer, he is writing another pitch email. It
says DEAR BRANDON AND SONS, I WOULD LIKE TO PITCH A
REVOLUTIONARY NEW NETWORK TO YOU.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Dear Brandon and Sons, I would
like to pitch a revolutionary new
network to you.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
On Jimmie's computer, he is writing yet another pitch email.
This one says DEAR VIDONLIC INDUSTRIES, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE
TO INVEST IN A NETWORK THAT MELDS TV AND THE INTERNET?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Dear Vidonlic Industries, how
would you like to invest in a
network that melds TV and the
internet?
                                                            

15.

                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmie is still writing on his laptop. He stops, smirks, and
hits send.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S CAR - MORNING
                                                            
Jimmie is driving his car when suddenly he hears a sound
coming from his phone. He pulls over and checks his phone to
see he has an email from LENLO CORP asking to meet with him.
He smiles, happy to see that someone answered.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Finally, a months work is about to
pay off.
                                                            
 
INT. LENLO CORPORATION - MARGE'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
MARGE LENLO, an investor, is sitting at her desk, waiting
for Jimmie to come in. Jimmie walks in, wearing a suit and
holding a laptop.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
Are you Jimmie?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yes I am. Nice to meet you.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
You too.
                                                            
Jimmie takes a seat and opens up the laptop.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
So tell me a bit about your
business.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Sure. Back in the day, people had
to work their way up to be big.
John Wayne? Started off as an
extra. But not anymore. Now any
schmuck can get famous. Kim
Kardashian? She was rich but no
one knew who she was until she had
her own sex tape. It's not just
rich people. There's a fat guy who
only became famous because he
taped himself dancing to the Numa
            (MORE)

16.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (cont'd)
Numa song.
                                                            
He takes out a cell phone.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
This has over a million views.
                                                            
Jimmie plays a cute animal video on his cell phone.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
Aww cute.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Profitable too. The makers of that
video are making a living not only
on ad revenue but also on
merchandise, interview deals, you
name it.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
What does this have to do with
your business?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
There's a guy I know named Adrian
Morris. He is really famous
online. He has this series called
What I Just Saw, where he reviews
movies he just saw, theaters or
otherwise. He also has other
shows, including Adrian's Advice
Corner, where he answers questions
his viewers send him and Cartoon
Therapist, where he plays a
therapist for, well, cartoon
characters. What I Just Saw and
all his skits make more than a
million views combined and he
has---.
                                                            
Jimmie goes to Adrian's youtube page and shows Marge the
amount of subscribers Adrian has, which is currenly 60,000.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
60,000 subscribers. I want to
build his brand by creating an
internet-only channel based around
his projects. I believe his fans
would eat it up and you'd get any
money you invest in the project
back in no time.
                                                            

17.

                       MARGE LENLO
This sounds promising but can I
see one of his videos so I'd know
what I'd be investing in?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Definitely.
                                                            
He searches THE BAZ LUHRMANN SHOW on his laptop.
                                                            
 
INT. THE BAZ LUHRMANN SHOW - DAY
                                                            
The show begins with a red curtain while the Can Can plays
in the background.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
'Ello. Velcome to...
                                                            
The title THE BAZ LUHRMANN SHOW pops up.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
The Baz Luhrmann Show.
                                                            
The title fades away. Adrian, dressed in a stereotypical
ringmaster outfit ala JIM BROADBENT IN MOULIN ROUGE, jumps
in and starts dancing.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
Oh, velcome to the show! Show!
Time to go to the Show! Show!
                                                            
 
INT. LENLO CORPORATION - MARGE'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Marge is confused, not sure what she's watching.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
      (SINGING)
       (RIDICULOUS
       GERMAN ACCENT)
We love the show! Show!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What do you think of it so far?
                                                            

18.

                       MARGE LENLO
It's...interesting.
                                                            
 
INT. THE BAZ LURHMANN SHOW - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Baz is sitting at his desk, talking to an actress playing
SARAH JESSICA PARKER, whose sitting on a couch.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
So Sarah, is it true you're a
horse?
                                                            
                       ACTRESS PLAYING SJP
what?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
Turtle.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
A stock picture of a turtle.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian, as Baz, gets into SJP's face again.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Is it true that you're a horse?
                                                            
                       ACTRESS PLAYING SJP
No, I'm not a horse.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
Liar!
                                                            
Suddenly Ronald and Sanjay are on the couch, dressed in
weird outfits, shouting "Burn the---".
                                                            
 
INT. LENLO CORPORATION - MARGE'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Ronald and Sanjay shout "liar" off-screen as Marge looks at
the video, weirded out. She looks at Jimmie, CONFUSED.
Jimmie looks back at her and smiles, hoping she likes it.
                                                            

19.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Huh, isn't this hilarious?
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
It's definitely not boring.
                                                            
 
INT. THE BAZ LUHRMANN SHOW - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Adrian is standing behind the red curtain again.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
Oh well, that's all the time we
have today!
                                                            
The Can Can starts up again.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (RIDICULOUS GERMAN
       ACCENT)
Join me next time when we
interview Bart Gialatti. Until
then, remember, the only thing
that matters is to love and be
loved in return. Bye now!
                                                            
The video pauses.
                                                            
 
INT. LENLO CORPORATION - MARGE'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
So, what do you think?
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
That was...interesting.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Are you interested in investing?
If so, I want you to invest about
$50,000 on this.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
Yeah, let me talk about it with
other people in the company and
we'll get back to you.
                                                            
She gets up and starts leaving. Jimmie can't believe what
he's hearing and walks up to her.
                                                            

20.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Apparently you've never seen a
movie. In movies, when people find
out someone is talented, they
automatically become successful
and are given everything they need
to become rich and famous.
                                                            
                       MARGE LENLO
This is not a movie, Mr. Williams.
                                                            
Jimmie starts getting nervous and desperate. He gets
desperately close to her and strokes his finger down her
body.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Y'know, I do prefer older women.
                                                            
Marge has had enough and gets pissed at this.
                                                            
 
EXT. LENLO CORPORATION - DAY
                                                            
Jimmie is being escorted outside of the building by a
security guard.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
This is what I get for calling you
old?! Don't you think you're
overreacting?!
                                                            
The Security Guard stops.
                                                            
                       SECURITY GUARD
That's not what this is about and
you know it! Don't ever come here
again!
                                                            
The Security Guard walks away.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Dick.
                                                            
Jimmie leaves.
                                                            
 
INT. ELECTRIC VILLAGE - LOCKER ROOM - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Sanjay is putting his work clothes on. Jimmie walks in,
pissed, and starts getting into his work clothes.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
How did the meeting go?
                                                            

21.

Jimmie thinks about it then smiles.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
I was thinking, we don't need
investors. We should start our own
website.
                                                            
Sanjay can tell that Jimmie is full of it. He thinks about
it for a second. He then looks at Jimmie and gives him a
SMUG SMILE.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
We'll see.
                                                            
Jimmie grunts, annoyed.
                                                            
 
EXT. WELLGANS PHARMACY - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa walks out of Wellgans to see trash all over the
place.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh good, there's garbage
everywhere! If this isn't the
perfect metaphor for my life, I
don't know what is!
                                                            
She sighs and walks back out with a mop and broom and starts
sweeping the garbage up.
                                                            
 
INT. WELLGANS PHARMACY - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa walks in, TIRED. She smells something and looks down
to see there is puke all over the floor. She looks at
Margaret.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Someone threw up in the store?
                                                            
                       MARGARET
I hate to ask but can you clean
that up?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Sure thing, buddy.
                                                            
 

22.

INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa walks into her room and sits down at her laptop. She
searches for WHAT I JUST SAW on Youtube. She sees there is a
video for WHAT I JUST SAW - EAGLE EYE and clicks on it.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - EAGLE EYE - DAY
                                                            
Adrian is sitting behind his desk, looking pissed.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Shia, we need to talk. I kinda
liked A Guide To Recognizing Your
Saints and Disturbia. But then you
made Transformers. And Crystal
Skull. Now this!
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa laughs. She hears a knock on the door and pauses the
video.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Come in.
                                                            
John walks into the room.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Hey Alyssa, you need to see this.
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAEL'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
John and Alyssa are sitting on the couch, watching TV,
looking horrified.
                                                            
 
INT. CHANNEL 12 NEWS - NIGHT
                                                            
A newscaster is sitting behind a table, talking about what
is going on in the world. He is clearly unhappy about the
economy.
                                                            
                       CHANNEL 12 NEWSCASTER
Today, the Dow Jones Industrial
has had its lowest drop in
history, falling 777.68 points in
intra-day trading.
                                                            
 

23.

INT. THE MICHAEL'S LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
John sighs, putting his head in his hands. Alyssa, horrified
too, puts her hand on his shoulder to comfort him.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
There there, it might not be so
bad.
                                                            
 
INT. CHANNEL 12 NEWS - EVENING
                                                            
The same newscaster is sitting behind her desk, looking
worried.
                                                            
                       CHANNEL 12 NEWSCASTER
Statistics have shown that the
unemployment rate has reached its
highest level in over 14 years.
There have been a total of---.
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAEL'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING
                                                            
Alyssa and John are watching TV, DEPRESSED.
                                                            
                       CHANNEL 12 NEWSCASTER (V.O.)
650,000 jobs losses in the last 3
months.
                                                            
 
INT. WELLGAN'S PHARMACY - BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa and the other employees are circling around Margaret
in the break room, as she is telling them some important
news.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Unfortunately we've lost a lot of
money recently---.
                                                            
 
INT. ELECTRIC VILLAGE - BREAK ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Sanjay, Jimmie, and the other employees are circling around
Eleanor in the break room, while she also tells them some
important news.
                                                            
                       ELEANOR
Which means that we are going to
make some cutbacks,---.
                                                            
 

24.

INT. WELLGAN'S PHARMACY - BREAK ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Unfortunately, we have just been
informed that this location is
going to be shut down and we'll
have to let everyone go.
                                                            
The other employees are shocked at the news, ESPECIALLY
Alyssa.
                                                            
 
INT. ELECTRIC VILLAGE - BREAK ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ELEANOR
Therefore we're going to be
letting people go.
                                                            
Most of the employees can't believe what their hearing but
Jimmie is ecstatic about this.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yes! Hey Eleanor, can you fire me
now?
                                                            
Eleanor gets really annoyed at this.
                                                            
                       ELEANOR
Fine, Jimmie, you're fired.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
What are you doing?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Sanjaya, buddy, this is our chance
to start Adrian's website.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
First of all, my name is Sanjay
not Sanjaya, that's the crappy
American Idol contestant.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Who cares, Apu?
                                                            
Sanjay groans.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Second of all, you gave up after
talking to one investor.
                                                            

25.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
We don't need investors, we can
start our own website. Adrian's
videos are viewed by thousands of
people a week, I'm sure he'd have
enough of a fanbase to make the
website successful. Why do we need
investors for that? All you need
to do is introduce him to me and
we're good to go.
                                                            
Sanjay thinks about it then sighs.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Listen, I'll introduce you to him
and you can tell him your idea.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Thank you, buddy! You won't regret
it!
                                                            
Sanjay looks at Jimmie uncomfortably.
                                                            
 
INT. MELVIEWS ILLUSTRATION - MR. MONKUT'S OFFICE - DAY
                                                            
MR. MONKUT, the middle-aged boss of MELVIEWS ILLUSTRATION, a
company that creates designs for different businesses, is
sitting in his office. There's a photo of his family on his
desk and a few pictures behind him. Adrian walks in and sits
down on the seat facing his desk.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
You wanted to see me?
                                                            
                       MR. MONKUT
Yes, I want to talk to you about
the design you sent to me, the one
for the Denny's claw machine.
                                                            
Mr. Monkut takes out a poster with chickens wearing
sombrero's.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Don't you love it? The chickens
have sombrero's! Isn't that
hilarious?
                                                            
                       MR. MONKUT
It's cute but, I'm sorry, it's not
what the client wanted. They just
wanted chickens.
                                                            

26.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS
But that doesn't make sense? Why
would you put chickens on a claw
machine?
                                                            
                       MR. MONKUT
There supposed to be toy chickens,
they'll have a little tag on them.
I'll need you to re-do it.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (DISAPPOINTED)
Oh. Okay.
                                                            
 
INT. MCFINNIGANS BAR - NIGHT
                                                            
Sanjay is playing darts in a bar called McFinnigans with
Adrian and Ronald.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hey Sanjay, can you do an
impression of The Pillsbury Dough
Boy for the next episode of
Cartoon Therapist?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Of course. Though can I ask a
favor from you?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Sure buddy.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Can you meet with Jimmie tomorrow?
He's got an idea for a website and
wants you guys to get involved.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Jimmie? That asshole from your job
you're always complaining about?
Why would you want to help him?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
I can't help but admire his
ambition. Plus I just know he's
gonna apply for jobs he's not
qualified for and will most likely
end up on the street and I really
don't want anyone to end up on the
street if I can help it.
                                                            

27.

                       RONALD MORRIS
It's nice to be altruistic and all
but you don't owe him anything.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Ronald, don't worry about it,
we'll meet with him.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Really?
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Really?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Yeah, I'll just hear what he has
to say and think about it.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Great. Thanks Adrian.
                                                            
 
EXT. RESTAURANT - AFTERNOON
                                                            
Sanjay and Jimmie are sitting outside of a restaurant,
waiting for Adrian. Adrian and Ronald walk in and Sanjay and
Jimmie stand up.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Hey Adrian. Hey Ronald. This is
my, umm, friend Jimmie. Jimmie,
this is Adrian and Ronald.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Nice to meet you.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
You too.
                                                            
They all take a seat.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
So Sanjay says you have a business
proposition for us.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Yes, I do---.
                                                            
A Waiter comes to their table.
                                                            
                       WAITER
Hello, can I take your---Adrian
Morris?
                                                            

28.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS
In the flesh.
                                                            
                       WAITER
Oh my god, I can't believe I'm
meeting Adrian Morris! I love What
I Just Saw!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Thank you.
                                                            
                       WAITER
Can I get a picture of you?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hey waiter, we're discussing
something important right now. Can
you please let us talk for a bit?
                                                            
                       WAITER
Umm...okay.
                                                            
The Waiter gives them all menus and leaves.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
So your show has a lot of fans
that I think we can profit off of.
How? Start your own website. With
this website, we can make money on
the amount of people visiting the
website as well as ad revenue,
plus we can also create
merchandise and sell that.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Umm...you do know we're probably
going to enter a recession, right?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Recession schmesession, people are
going to come. It's not like
they'd be paying for anything
besides the merchandise. So
Adrian, what do you think?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Will I always be forced to do What
I Just Saw?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What?
                                                            

29.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS
It's just, I love doing What I
Just Saw and all but I don't know
if I want to do it forever. If I
wanted to end it and do another
project, could I?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yeah, of course you can, I'm sure
your audience will eat up anything
you do.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Well, this does sound tempting but
I'm going to have to think about
it.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
      (ANNOYED)
Take all the time you want.
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Adrian walks into a room with his computer, which is an old
windows computer. He signs onto his Youtube account and sees
that his channel has been deleted.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
What? No, this can't be! My
channel's been deleted because of
copyright infringement! Why?!
                                                            
Adrian thinks about it.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - FANTASTIC FOUR: ROTSS - DAY
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
And Galactus turns out to be a big
cloud. Y'know, this is starting to
look good by comparison.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. FANTASTIC FOUR TV SHOW - STREET - DAY
                                                            
The Fantastic Four are facing The Mole Man. The Mole Man
runs away.
                                                            

30.

                       ACTOR PLAYING MR. FANTASTIC
      (WOODEN)
Stop! He's getting away!
                                                            
                       ACTOR PLAYING THE HUMAN TORCH
      (WOODEN)
I'll get him! Flame on!
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Adrian thinks about it a little more.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - BEOWULF - DAY
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Zemeckis, why are your animated
movies so ugly? First Polar
Express now Beowulf. Remember
Roger Rabbit? Remember how good
this looked?
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Adrian thinks about it even more.
                                                            
 
INT. ROBO-SHARK - RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Actors are huddling up in a corner of a restaurant, SCARED
as a shadowy figure with a shark head approaches them.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
So our main heroes are cornered
and it seems like Robo-Shark is
about to eat them---.
                                                            
 
INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - ROBO-SHARK - DAY
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
And, I swear to god, this is what
Robo-Shark looks like.
                                                            
 
INT. ROBO-SHARK - RESTAURANT - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
A guy with a really obvious, plastic looking shark head
creeps up to the actors as they scream.
                                                            
 

31.

INT. WHAT I JUST SAW - ROBO-SHARK - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Adrian tries to stifle his laughter in. Then he starts
laughing really hard.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Oh my god, he looks so fake!
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S COMPUTER ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Adrian thinks about it a little more then calls Sanjay on
his cell phone.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hey Sanjay? Tell your friend he
has a deal.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING
                                                            
Jimmie, Sanjay, Adrian, and Ronald are sitting at a table in
Jimmie's apartment. Behind them, Jimmie's apartment is
MESSY, with dirty laundry and other things on the ground.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Thank you for coming.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
You're welcome.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Before we begin, I need you to
sign this...
                                                            
Jimmie takes out a contract and hands it to Adrian. Adrian
reads the contract. It says JIMMIE WILLIAMS OWNS THE IP OF
WHAT I JUST SAW AND IS A MAJORITY STAKEHOLDER IN THE
COMPANY. Adrian is suspicious about this and looks at
Ronald.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (WHISPERING)
Look at this: the contract
basically says that Jimmie is
going to own the character. I'm
not sure about this...
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
      (WHISPERING)
What do we know about running a
business?
                                                            

32.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (WHISPERING)
True.
                                                            
They re-join Jimmie and Sanjay.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Can I have a pen?
                                                            
Jimmie gives him a pen. Then Adrian signs the contract.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Great! Now that you've signed it,
let's get this party started.
First of all, you gotta do
something big, something that'll
get your audience invested.
                                                            
 
INT. POP CULTURE FEST - DAY
                                                            
Adrian, Jimmie, Sanjay, and Ronald walk to an employee
sitting down at a table at POP CULTURE FEST, a convention
where celebrities interact with fans.
                                                            
                       POP CULTURE FEST EMPLOYEE
Oh my god, I can't believe it's
Adrian Morris, I love your videos!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Why thank you.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yeah, thanks, now can you tell us
where Adrian's booth is?
                                                            
                       POP CULTURE FEST EMPLOYEE
Booth?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yeah, he's going to be promoting
his new website.
                                                            
The Pop Culture Fest employee, confused, checks the list.
                                                            
                       POP CULTURE FEST EMPLOYEE
That's weird, I don't see him on
here.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What are you talking about? I
signed him up and the website said
"you've been submitted".
                                                            

33.

                       POP CULTURE FEST EMPLOYEE
When did you submit it? Because
the deadline was October 20th.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
There was a deadline? Then why was
the website still up?
                                                            
                       POP CULTURE FEST EMPLOYEE
I don't know, I'm not in charge of
that, but you can still get
tickets if you want.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
      (PISSED)
No, I don't want your damn
tickets!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Jimmie...
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
No, we don't need your dumb
convention.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Jimmie, let's go.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
No, it's fine, we can promote our
website in other ways, something
else that can really stand out.
                                                            
Adrian smirks.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
I know what to do.
                                                            
 
EXT. SUBURB - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa and Margaret are walking around a suburb while Alyssa
is talking to her friend, Daniel, on the phone.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey Daniel, do you know of any law
firms looking for an assistant or
some other type of employee? You
don't? Well, could you ask?
Thanks.
                                                            

34.

                       MARGARET
Hopefully something comes from
that.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hopefully.
                                                            
 
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is talking to a fast food worker, whose standing
behind a counter.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Excuse me, can you give me an
application?
                                                            
                       FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE#1
Sorry, we're not hiring right now.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
      (DISAPPOINTED)
Oh. Okay.
                                                            
 
INT. VIDEO STORE - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is standing in the drama aisle of a video store,
talking to an employee whose putting videos away.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Can I get an application? I've
always wanted to work in a video
store!
                                                            
The video store employee points to a sign on a window that
says CLOSING SOON. Alyssa gets even more disappointed.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
You're closing?! Great, your going
the way of Hollywood Video!
                                                            
 
INT. GROCERY STORE - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is at a grocery store, talking to an employee
scanning items at the counter.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hi, you wouldn't happen to be
looking for employees, would you?
Thanksgiving and Christmas are
around the corner. There's
probably gonna be a lot of
            (MORE)

35.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (cont'd)
shoppers, possibly even during a
recession.
                                                            
                       GROCERY STORE EMPLOYEE
I'll give you an application and,
if were interested, we'll get back
to you.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Okay, thanks.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa's room is filled with a a couple applications lying
on the floor. Currently she's filling one out. She goes on
the computer and goes onto Youtube. She sees a video called
I QUIT from Adrian Morris on Youtube. She gets curious about
it and clicks it.
                                                            
 
INT. I QUIT - REDVIEWS ILLUSTRATION - DAY
                                                            
Adrian is in a break room, holding a boom box. He looks at a
camera Ronald is holding. He smirks and goes to a table in
the break room. He holds up the boom box and presses play.
This gets the attention of the other employees in there, who
all look at him. A song modeled after IN YOUR EYES by Peter
Gabriel comes on.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
      (SINGING)
I can't stand this job anymore
It's disgusting
Makes me wanna puke
So I quit
I got another job
I quit
Sayonara Bob
I quit
I couldn't stand working here
anymore
I quit
                                                            
Security guards run in and chase Adrian out. Adrian runs for
his life and looks at the camera as he continues to be
chased by the guards.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Do you miss What I Just Saw? Don't
worry, WhatIJustSaw.com is
launching January 20th and will
include all your favorite episodes
            (MORE)

36.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS (cont'd)
plus Adrian's Advice Corner,
Cartoon Therapist, and all your
favorite skits. So don't forget,
January 20th will be the launch
date for WhatIJustSaw.Com.
                                                            
He runs past the camera followed by the security guards.
Suddenly Mr. Monkut walks up to the camera.
                                                            
                       MR. MONKUT
Turn that camera off. Now!
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa sighs deeply.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I wish I was able to do something
like that...
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAELS' DINING ROOM - EVENING
                                                            
Alyssa, John, and John's family are having Thanksgiving
Dinner together.
                                                            
                       AUNT JANICE
So Alyssa, how've you been doing
lately?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
      (SARCASTICALLY)
Between having a dead end job I
hated, getting fired from that
job, and not finding any work,
just...great.
                                                            
John looks at her, SYMPATHETICALLY.
                                                            
 
EXT. PORT WASHINGTON SUBURB - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is walking a dog on a sidewalk. She passes by a
poster of her advertising herself with the headline ALYSSA'S
DOG WALKING SERVICES: HIRE ME TO WALK YOUR BABY underneath a
picture of her smiling wit a dog and her phone number
underneath it. Next to the poster is a christmas tree lying
down on the ground next to a trash can.
                                                            
 

37.

INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa walks into her room and sits down on her bed. She
looks into her wallet and sees the money she's made from
shoveling, only to see she's made $100. She sighs. She goes
on her computer and checks her email to see if she got any
job ofers. She gets disappointed when she sees there aren't
any. She goes on Youtube and sees a video in her
recommendations called WE WANT YOU FOR WHAT I JUST SAW. She
gets curious and clicks on it.
                                                            
 
INT. WE WANT YOU FOR WHAT I JUST SAW - LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Adrian is sitting in his living room, in a reclining chair,
wearing a white suit, crossing his legs while holding a
notepad in his hand, while playing THE CARTOON THERAPIST.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
What are you doing here? You're
not a cartoon.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian is lying on his couch, in a PURPLE ROBE, playing his
character from ADRIAN'S ADVICE CORNER.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Usually I give advice but, ever
since What I Just Saw was kicked
off of Youtube, I don't know what
to do. I've considered suicide.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Well did you know that What I Just
Saw is coming back?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian looks at "The Cartoon Therapist", whose OFF-SCREEN.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
What?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
That's right, WWW.WhatIJustSaw.Com
will be premiering January 28th.
And there's more. We want you to
join the website! If you're
interested, please email
            (MORE)

38.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS (cont'd)
Jimmie.Williams@WhatIJustSaw.com
and we'll announce the winners on
February 5th! So what are you
waiting for? I can't wait to say
your video is what I just saw.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa's surprised about this. She then thinks about joining
the site as a last ditch effort to make some money. She
looks at her collection of VHS's and DVD's. She gets up,
walks to her movie collection, and looks at all the cheesy
movies she has in the collection. She thinks about it for a
second and takes out the DVD for MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT
starring MARISA VAIDA, a B-Movie Actress. She stares it and
looks at her computer, wondering if she could start her own
review series on B-Movies.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa is watching the movie on her laptop, looking at it
intently, while she has a notepad right in front of her.
                                                            
 
INT. MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - HOUSE - DAY
                                                            
MARISA VAIDA is standing next to a middle aged man and
looking at a young kid named DAVID in a house.
                                                            
                       DAVID'S FATHER
Molly, this is my son, David.
David, this is Molly.
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
I didn't. Know. You had a. Son. I
shall compute that.
                                                            
                       DAVID'S FATHER
Oh you're so hilarious, Molly!
                                                            
                       DAVID
Are you sure she's joking?
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa starts writing down some material for the show.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            

39.

Alyssa is on the computer, writing the review. She stops for
a second and thinks about what to write next. Then she
starts writing again.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa sets her camera set up to face her chair. She presses
record on the camera. She sits down and sighs. Suddenly she
gets a lot more cheery and confident.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hello I'm Alyssa Michaels and
welcome to This Exists?! Yes, yes
it does.
                                                            
She takes out the VHS for MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
And I wanna talk about my favorite
actress, Marisa Vaida.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Alyssa is on her computer. She finishes editing the video
and then exports it. After it exports, she uploads it onto
Blip. After that, she copies and pastes the link to her
video, THIS EXISTS?! MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT and goes onto her
email. She types in Jimmie's email address and puts the
video in the email. She sends it and sighs, hoping it works
out.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING
                                                            
Adrian, Ronald, and Sanjay are sitting at Jimmie's table,
waiting for him. Jimmie comes in and opens the laptop on his
table.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Guess how much money the site
made?
                                                            
He looks up the site's analytics and it shows that it made
$100,000 on ad revenue and views, which surprises everyone.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Seriously?!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Told ya it would work. Are you
ever gonna doubt me again?
                                                            

40.

                       SANJAY ACHARYA
I wouldn't say that but this is
awesome.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Also, don't worry, guys, your cuts
have been deposited in your bank
accounts. So let's celebrate by
watching some submissions!
                                                            
 
INT. THE PORN REVIEWER - THE ADDAMS ORGY - DAY
                                                            
BEN DERELICT is sitting on a couch in his Hugh Hefner getup,
looking at the camera seductively.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Hello, I'm the Porn Reviewer and I
may have a lot of kinks but incest
isn't one of them. But apparently
The Addams Family are into incest.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Ben's friends, JEFF, MOLLY, DEREK, LISA, and GEORGE are
dressed as GOMEZ, MORTICIA, UNCLE FESTER, WEDNESDAY, and
PUGSLEY, while standing behind a wall.
                                                            
                       JEFF
Are you really surprised? We're
into a lot of weird shit.
                                                            
                       MOLLY
That's kind of our MO.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys all laugh except Jimmie, whose on his phone. He
gets surprised at something on his phone. He looks at
everyone.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
We have to put him on, he has
10,000 subscribers.
                                                            
 
INT. THE GOOD THINGS - MY TOP 10 FAVORITE MOVIES - DAY
                                                            
CHUCK LANCASTER, a completely insincere, uber-positive guy,
is sitting in his room, reviewing a song called FALLTIME
HONEYS for his show BAD OR GOOD?
                                                            

41.

                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Hi, welcome to The Good Things,
where we talk about my favorite
things, movies, TV shows, you name
it. And, for my first ever review,
I want to talk about my top 10
favorite movies.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Really? This guy's popular?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
I kinda like his more positive
style.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Well, he's in. I mean, hello, look
at his subscribers!
                                                            
 
INT. MELISSA EXAMINES CARTOONS - TOP 10 SEQUELS - DAY
                                                            
Melissa is sitting behind her drawings, reviewing THE LAND
BEFORE TIME 13.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Hi, I'm The Cartoon Reviewer and,
for my first episode, I'm going to
list my top 10 animated sequels
because, yes Virginia, not all
sequels are bad.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys all laugh but Jimmie is unimpressed.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Meh.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
C'mon, Jimmie, that was cute.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Whatever, we can add her to make
our website less of a sausage
fest, I don't really give a shit.
                                                            
 

42.

INT. HORROR MOVIE - CORNFIELD - NIGHT
                                                            
A masked killer stabs someone running away from them. The
person doesn't bleed at all. Then they start bleeding
everywhere. They scream.
                                                            
 
INT. HORRORHOUND REVIEWS - DAY
                                                            
THOMAS CARVER, a twentysomething deadpan horror reviewer, is
sitting on a chair in his bedroom, looking bored by the
movie.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Wow, I haven't seen such great
directing since Bela Lugosi
strangled himself with octopus
legs.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys all laugh.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! - MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting in a chair, talking directly towards the
camera.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hello, I'm Alyssa Michaels and
welcome to This Exists?! Yes, yes
it does!
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Okay she's way hotter than the
other girl, I, uhh, don't think I
need to make a decision.
                                                            
Jimmie is about to press pause when Sanjay grabs his hand
and looks at him.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Don't you dare.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What are you going to do?
                                                            
Sanjay looks at Adrian and Ronald.
                                                            

43.

                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Hey, who wants to vote on whether
or not we watch this video?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Okay. Okay. We can watch the dumb
video.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! - BOXING RING - DAY
                                                            
MARISA VAIDA, a twentysomething boxer/actress, is fighting
another woman in a boxing ring.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Marisa Vaida started off as a
world famous boxer---.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! - HIDDEN LEGENDS POSTER - DAY
                                                            
Marisa Vaida is in a Ninja Outfit, standing behind a red
background, looking out valiantly while the words HIDDEN
LEGENDS are underneath her.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
And then started her movie career
off with the Hidden Legends
movies---.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - DAY
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
And became one of the greatest
B-Movie actresses of all time! No
matter what movie she's in, it'll
be gloriously bad! Of course with
movies like Hidden Legends, her
movies were usually bad action
movies but with My Stepmom's A
Robot, she proved that she can
make awful comedies too. Why?
Let's look at My Stepmom's A
Robot.
                                                            
 
INT. MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
We see Marisa dressed like a stereotypical 50's housewife,
about to cook breakfast for a man sitting down at a table.
                                                            

44.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
So we begin with Marisa being a
seemingly happy housewife when
suddenly...
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
Honey, how would you like. Your.
Eggs?
                                                            
                       HUSBAND
Scrambled please.
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
I shall compute scrambled eggs.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? -MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT -EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
So basically this man created a
robot that would be the perfect
wife. Score one for feminism!
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys, except for Jimmie, chuckle.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Great, she's a feminazi.
                                                            
 
INT. MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
                                                            
David and his friend are talking to Marisa. David's friend
looks bored.
                                                            
                       DAVID
Hey Molly, can Joey stay over?
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
I shall put it in my system that
Joey will stay over tonight and
prepare a bed for him.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
I love how the friend's like,
"Whatever, I guess that's how
people talk".
                                                            
 

45.

INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys chuckle a bit more but Jimmie remains unimpressed.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? -MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh but don't worry, the movie's
not over yet. You know how the
movie ends? Like this.
                                                            
 
INT. MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT - KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
Marisa is cooking food in the kitchen. She's looking at
David and his father.
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
Shall I make pancakes. For.
Everyone?
                                                            
                       DAVID
Pancakes sound delicious!
                                                            
Marisa smells something.
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (ROBOTIC VOICE)
Uh oh. Smells like. Someone needs
an. Oil change.
                                                            
Suddenly there is a robot baby in a high chair.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? -MY STEPMOM'S A ROBOT -EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Your eyes are not deceiving you,
the movie literally just implied
Molly and Dan had sex and somehow,
SOMEHOW, had a
half-human/half-baby robot
together. This is too amazing that
I---I'm not even gonna question
it. And honestly, that's all I
want in my Marisa Vaida movies:
action, comedy, bad acting, and
scripts that make less sense than
people letting Uwe Boll adapt
their video games into movies. So
what the hell are you doing? It
            (MORE)

46.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (cont'd)
exists and you should go watch it.
                                                            
The screen pauses.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The guys all laugh but Jimmie is just bored.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
I say we bring her in.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Ehh, video was just okay but I
agree. She's hot and almost
everyone else has been white as
fuck so it'll make us look good to
have a girl who looks to be black
or muslim or whatever in there so,
yeah, let's include her.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa wakes up and goes on the computer. She checks to see
how many views she got on her video and she sees she only
has about 100, which upsets her.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
100 views? I wonder if Youtube
pays people with that many
views...
                                                            
She looks at the analytics and sees she only got about $10
in ad revenue, which upsets her more.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
$10? That's about right...
                                                            
Alyssa goes on her email and sees a message from
WhatIJustSaw.com. She gets intrigued by the email, clicks on
it, and reads it.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hello, if you're reading this, you
submitted a video to
WhatIJustSaw.Com. We watched your
video and, after careful
consideration, have decided you
should be a contributor on our
website. Congratulations and
welcome to WhatIJustSaw.Com!
                                                            

47.

Alyssa gets really excited.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Dad! Dad!
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAELS' LIVING ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
John is having breakfast downstairs. Alyssa runs in,
excited.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Dad, I've got great news.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
What is it, honey?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I have a new job.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
That's terrific! What are you
doing?!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
This website has hired me to do
videos for them!
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Well, I'm happy for you, I hope it
works out.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Me too.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is excitedly reading a document that contains
information about the site and lists its rules and
regulations. That is until she sees one of the rules.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
You are not contracted or employed
by WhatIJustSaw, your videos will
just be embedded on your site.
Therefore you will not be paid for
your videos. Oh. Shit.
                                                            
Alyssa reads more of the rules and regulations until she
sees a section that she can't help but wonder.
                                                            

48.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
All company policy is laid out in
this link: coming soon. All
questions will be addressed to
Ronald Morris. Any concerns or
issues with the company can be
addressed with Ronald Morris or
(in case of emergencies) Jimmie
Williams. Hmm...
                                                            
Alyssa thinks about it. She looks at the document and sees
Ronald and Jimmie's phone numbers. She takes out her cell
phone and calls Ronald.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS (V.O.)
Hi, this is Ronald Morris, I'm not
here right now but you can leave
me a message after the beep.
                                                            
The phone beeps. She sighs then calls Jimmie.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Jimmie is sitting on a couch in his living room, watching
THE APPRENTICE.
                                                            
                       DONALD TRUMP (V.O.)
Omarosa, you're fired!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yes Trump! Fire that bitch!
                                                            
Jimmie's cell phone rings. He quickly picks it up.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hello?
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey, this is Alyssa, I'm one of
the new contributors on
WhatIJustSaw.Com.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Oh yeah, the hot black girl.
Anyway, what do you want?
                                                            

49.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I had a question: I saw that your
company policy is "coming soon".
Do you know when it's coming?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Why do you ask?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I wanted to know because I was
wondering, do you think the
company policy on paying your
contributors might change?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Jimmie goes from being indifferent to annoyed, irritated
that someone, especially a woman, dare ask him about how
he's running his business.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What do you mean?
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Will you start paying your
contributors in the future?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
This questions pisses off Jimmie and he snaps.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
      (ANGRY)
No, I don't! You are not our
employee, we just host your
videos, that's it! We are not
paying you and don't you dare feel
like we should!
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa gets really scared about this, unsure of what to do.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Okay, okay, I was just asking.
                                                            

50.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
      (ANGRY)
Well don't ask again,
troublemaker! Now I have to go.
Bye.
                                                            
He hangs up. Alyssa sits there in shock, in disbelief as to
what just happened. She puts her phone down, UPSET,
wondering if she should even stay with the website after
Jimmie's outburst.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa is on the computer. She sighs and looks up
WhatIJustSaw's website. She sees that her video for My
Stepmom's A Robot is up, which surprises her. She goes onto
Youtube and sees that she now has 500 views. This surprises
her even more.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Wait, I got how many views?
                                                            
Alyssa thinks about it. She goes onto her Youtube analytics
and sees that she got $150 from the video. This really
surprises her.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
How much money did I make?!
                                                            
 
INT. THE MICHAELS' KITCHEN - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa is washing dishes along with her Dad.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
So are you still going to work
with that website, ever since you
know---?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Gotta be honest, little conflicted
on that. I appreciate the fact
that I have more viewers now but I
don't know if I want to work with
someone like that.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
Maybe things will get better.
                                                            

51.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Maybe. Or maybe I can appreciate
the fact that I'll be making $150
per video.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa is on her computer, looking up the stats for her
video. Alyssa sees that she now has 1,000 views, which
surprises her.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Did I just get 500 more views from
yesterday? Wait, how much money am
I making now?
                                                            
Alyssa checks how much money she's getting from it and sees
she's getting about $300. She thinks about it a bit more and
sighs.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
With that money, yeah, I'll stay
on.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting on her bed, watching a movie called NINJA
BABIES, while the DVD for the movie, which has 3 babies in
ninja clothes, is lying on the bed. She's taking notes.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Why did Tim Curry have to play the
villain in goddamn Ninja Babies?
That makes me feel so sorry for
him. Ooh, that's a good idea for a
joke! I can just see what he's
thinking: (Tim Curry impression)
"Why did my agent offer me Ninja
Babies?! Someone is so getting
fired!"
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! - NINJA BABIES - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting in the same spot she was sitting at
before, now reviewing NINJA BABIES.
                                                            

52.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Ninja Babies. Just...Ninja Babies!
This exists?! Yes, yes it does!
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS?! - YOUTUBE ANALYTICS - DAY
                                                            
The Ninja Babies video has about 3,000 views and has made
Alyssa $400.
                                                            
 
INT. SPY DOG - MUSEUM - NIGHT
                                                            
A dog walks to a man holding a document in his mouth.
                                                            
                       SPY DOG ACTOR
Is that the right document, boy?
                                                            
Spy Dog spits out the document.
                                                            
                       SPY DOG
It sure is.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - SPY DOG - DAY
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Y'know, that document will
probably have dog drool all over
it. Oh Spy Dog!
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - YOUTUBE ANALYTICS PAGE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
SPY DOG has 7,000 views and has made Alyssa $800 dollars.
                                                            
 
INT. MY NANNY'S A MERMAID - UPSCALE RESTAURANT - NIGHT
                                                            
Marisa Vaida is in an upscale restaurant with a guy while a
waiter is taking their order.
                                                            
                       SNOOTY WAITER
Tonight we have a lobster special.
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
You murderers! I mean, I'm not
interested. Now I'm going to clean
my gills I mean face.
                                                            
 

53.

INT. THIS EXISTS? - MY NANNY'S A MERMAID - DAY
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I can just imagine the writers
thinking, just overreacting to a
lobster doesn't necessarily mean
someone's a mermaid so let's add a
line about her having gills!
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - YOUTUBE ANALYTICS PAGE - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
The video for MY NANNY'S A MERMAID has 10,000 views and has
made Alyssa $1,000 dollars.
                                                            
 
INT. MOVIE THEATER - EVENING
                                                            
Thomas Carver is standing behind a counter in a movie
theater, looking bored. Another movie theater employee walks
up to him.
                                                            
                       MOVIE THEATER EMPLOYEE
Hey Thomas, Greg's on break, can
you please clean up Benjamin
Button?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Sure.
                                                            
 
INT. MOVIE THEATER - BENJAMIN BUTTON - EVENING
                                                            
The theater for Benjamin Button is messy, with popcorn,
snacks, and drinks all over the seats. Thomas walks in with
a broom and dustpan and can't believe the mess.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
How could there be this many
people at Benjamin Button? It came
out three months ago!
                                                            
 
INT. THOMAS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Thomas's apartment is small, dingy, and not in the best
shape. His kitchen is the first thing you walk into. His
laptop is on his kitchen table. He walks in, sits down on
the kitchen table, and opens up his laptop and goes on
WhatIJustSaw.Com. He sees that Alyssa has a new video called
THIS EXISTS? - DRAGON HUNTER. He clicks on it.
                                                            
 

54.

INT. THIS EXISTS? - DRAGON HUNTER - DAY
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
On this show, we've talked about
Marisa Vaida's comedy films but
her best films were always the
ones that showed off her martial
arts skills. But what if she made
a martial arts fantasy movie? I'm
talking about Dragon Hunters.
                                                            
 
INT. DRAGON HUNTER - MEDIEVAL TOWN - MORNING
                                                            
MARISA VAIDA is walking around in a forest while sets that
are clearly from a Renaissance Fair are behind her and
people are wearing cheap medieval costumes. Marisa herself
is walking around in a princess costume that looks like
something from PARTY CITY.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Nice to see their local ren fair
gave them permission to film.
                                                            
 
INT. THOMAS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Thomas laughs.
                                                            
 
INT. DRAGON HUNTER - MEDIEVAL TOWN - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       MARISA VAIDA
      (TERRIBLE BRITISH
       ACCENT)
What shall be on the shedule
ta-day?!
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - DRAGON HUNTER - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Marisa Vaida's British Accent is
amazing-ly awful. This exists?
Yes, yes it does. As does this
scene.
                                                            
 
INT. DRAGON HUNTER - EERIE FOREST - NIGHT
                                                            
Marisa is using martial arts to fight knights while still
dressed in a medieval dress.
                                                            

55.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Your eyes are not deceiving you,
Marisa Vaida is in fact using
martial arts on a bunch of knights
while dressed like a Disney
Princess.
                                                            
 
INT. THOMAS'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Thomas laughs. After laughing, he smiles and thinks about
contacting Alyssa. He goes on his email and finds the email
Jimmie had sent everyone. He sees Alyssa's email address,
copies it, and starts writing her an email.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa is in her room, reading Thomas's email.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Dear Alyssa Michaels, my name is
Thomas Carver, a.k.a. The
Horrorhound Reviewer, I found your
email because it was cc'd on the
What I Just Saw welcome email. I
love your videos and would love to
do a crossover review with you.
Would you be interested? Please
let me know. Hmm...
                                                            
She thinks about it and writes back to him.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Dear Thomas, I'd love to talk with
you. Please talk with me over
Skype and we can get this party
started!
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
                                                            
Alyssa and Thomas are talking to each other through SKYPE.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Hey Alyssa, thank you for getting
back to me.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
No problem!
                                                            

56.

                       THOMAS CARVER
I just really love your videos.
Every time I've had a long, hard
day at work, I can just pop one in
and forgot all my troubles.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I know how you feel.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
You do?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah I used to work at this
pharmacy called Wellgan's and,
every time I got home, those
cheesy B-movies I review really
cheered me up.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Yeah, laughing at people's hard
work is hilarious.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It's kind've our job.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
True. It's definitely better than
my other job.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Where do you work?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
A movie theatre.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh, let me guess. Difficult
customers? Gross things to clean
up?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Always something to do. Something
that makes me wonder---.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Is this where my life is heading?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
It can't be, can it? It's not what
I want to do? You want to see what
I really want to do?
                                                            

57.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
I'll show you. Here's a clip from
my next review---.
                                                            
 
INT. CAMP DEATH - BUNKER - NIGHT
                                                            
Two twentysomething counselors are stripped to their
underwear, about to have sex.
                                                            
                       CAMP COUNSELOR
You think it's a good idea to have
sex when Damien is out killing
people?
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - CAMP DEATH - DAY
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Gee, considering how these movies
usually go, what do you think?
                                                            
 
INT. CAMP DEATH - WOODS - NIGHT
                                                            
The Killer stabs one of the counselors while the counselor
screams.
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - CAMP DEATH - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
I don't think it's predictable at
all!
                                                            
Alyssa laughs.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Wow, that was the best editing
I've ever seen! The timing was
perfect!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Thanks.
                                                            

58.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Y'know, I was thinking of
reviewing a movie called
Reincatnated. I wanted to use a
split screen effect where I would
have a stuffed cat on one side and
me on the other side. Maybe you
could edit the review?
                                                            
 
INT. THIS EXISTS? - REINCATNATED - DAY
                                                            
MR. KITTY, a stuffed cat, is sitting in the spot Alyssa
usually sits in, talking to the camera.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
      (MR. KITTY VOICE)
Hi, I'm Mr. Kitty and I'm going to
be taking over for Alyssa today.
Why?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
SPLIT SCREEN:

LEFT - INT. THIS EXISTS? - REINCATNATED - DAY, RIGHT - INT.
- BASEMENT - DAY

MR. KITTY continues to review the movie as Alyssa wakes up
in a basement. She walks to the door and tries to get out
but the door won't open. She keeps struggling to open it but
the door won't budge.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Because we're going to be
reviewing a movie called
Reincatnated. This movie exists?
Yes. Yes it does.
                                                            
The screen pauses.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
I love it. Hey, want to watch The
Last Dragon?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER (V.O.)
Does blonde hair really not suit
William H. Macy?
                                                            
 

59.

INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa and Margaret are in a coffee shop together, hanging
out and drinking coffee.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
So Alyssa, Matthew told me
yesterday he's moving out so, I
was thinking, would you like to be
my new roommate?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Would I? Of course I would!
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Thanks!
                                                            
Alyssa sees Ben and his friends talking.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
So guys, here's what I was
thinking for Undercover Hooker
Cop.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
So how's your boyfriend?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Thomas? He's good. But Margaret,
you won't believe it but you see
that guy over there?
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Yeah?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
He's part of the website too.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Oh my god!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I hope you don't mind but I'm
gonna go say hi.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Of course not, let's go over
there.
                                                            
They get up and walk over to Ben and his friends, who are
having a blast while talking about Ben's new film,
UNDERCOVER HOOKER COP.
                                                            

60.

                       BEN DERELICT
So I was thinking the villain
should be the most evil pimp of
all time. And the movie can even
begin with him murdering one of
the prostitutes!
                                                            
                       JEFF
Oh my god, that would be the
perfect opening!
                                                            
Suddenly Ben sees Alyssa and Margaret.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Hey, I know you from somewhere.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I'm Alyssa Michaels, the host of
This Exists?!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Holy shit, you live in the city?!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Long Island actually.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
We're just here for the coffee.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
But it's nice to meet you.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
You too. Take a seat.
                                                            
Alyssa and Margaret take chairs and sit down at the table.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I hope we weren't interrupting
anything.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
What? You're fine! Also I should
introduce you to my friends.
Alyssa, this is Jeff, Derek, and
my muse, my Helena Bonham Carter,
my girlfriend Molly.
                                                            
                       MOLLY
Nice to meet you.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
You too.
                                                            

61.

                       MARGARET
I'm Margaret, nice to meet you
guys.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Pleasure is all mine. We were just
discussing our plans for my next
movie, Undercover Hooker Cop.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
You make movies?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Of course, whenever I'm not
reviewing porn, we're either doing
my other series, Jeff & Derek Do
Things, or were making
exploitation movies.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Wow, awesome, I love exploitation
movies! So is Undercover Hooker
Cop about a cop who goes
undercover as a prostitute?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Nah, it's about a cop whose a
prostitute who is investigating
the murder of several prostitutes.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Okay, sounds interesting, sounds
really...trashy.
                                                            
Ben laughs. Alyssa laughs and then everyone else starts
laughing.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Guilty as charged.
                                                            
 
INT. MOVIE THEATRE - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa, Ben, Molly, Jeff, and Derek walk out of a movie
theatre.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Oh my god, Dragonball Evolution
sucked so much!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I know, right?! Goku in high
school?!
                                                            

62.

                       BEN DERELICT
And don't get me started on that
fake-ass beard Goku's grandpa was
wearing! Yeesh!
                                                            
                       JEFF
Hey, at least it's not another
goddamn B-rate animated movie! Why
do you keep making me see these
things?!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Because it's funny to see you get
angry at them.
                                                            
                       JEFF
It's not funny! If I see another
animated movie end with a
spontaneously choreographed dance
party, I'm going to lose my mind!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Hey need I remind you I just saw
Dragonball Evolution?!
                                                            
                       JEFF
Does Dragonball Evolution have an
armadillo putting on sunglasses
and going "you can't touch this"?!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Sounds more like Dragonball than
Dragonball Evolution!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Thank you!
                                                            
They high five each other.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey Ben, I was wondering, I've
started going out with Thomas
recently.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
No shit?! Doesn't he live far
away?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Actually not too far, he lives in
Pennsylvania.
                                                            

63.

                       BEN DERELICT
Oh, that's good.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, anyway, he edited my
Reincatnated review and I was
wondering, do you think Thomas
could edit Undercover Hooker Cop?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Y'know what, I'll ask if he can
edit my next review and, if I like
what he does, he can edit the
movie.
                                                            
 
INT. GREMLINS PORNO - SEEDY BAR - DAY
                                                            
A lady is standing at a pool table, giving a suggestive look
to a Gremlin puppet.
                                                            
                       PORN ACTRESS
You sure you want to destroy the
bar? You don't want to fuck me
instead?
                                                            
 
INT. THE PORN REVIEWER - GREMLINS PORNO - DAY
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Listen to the Gremlins Porno, when
all else fails, turn to, uhh,
would it count as bestiality?
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Suddenly the screen turns to black and white and an
instrumental version of CARELESS WHISPER plays on in the
background.
                                                            
The screen pauses.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT (V.O.)
Dude, I love it! Making the screen
turn black and white?! Adding that
Careless Whisper instrumental to
the background?! That's awesome!
I'd love for you to edit
Undercover Hooker Cop!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Thank you!
                                                            
 

64.

EXT. MARGARET'S APARTMENT - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa, Margaret, and Alyssa's Father are walking outside
Margaret's apartment, carrying Alyssa's stuff.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
I can't believe it, my baby girl's
all grown up!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah yeah, I know, it just seems
like yesterday that bla bla bla,
we've heard it all before.
                                                            
                       JOHN MICHAELS
I'm just proud of you, that's
all...
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Thanks Dad.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S NEW ROOM - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa is standing in her room, with a bunch of unopened
boxes surrounding her. Everything is still packed away.
Margaret is standing in the room.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Thanks again for moving in.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
No problem. And thank Matthew for
moving out in the first place!
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Well I'm not gonna do that but I'm
really glad we're gonna spend more
time together.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Me too. I'm gonna unpack now. I'll
ask you if I need any help.
                                                            
                       MARGARET
Sure.
                                                            
Margaret leaves. Alyssa takes her cell phone out and calls
Thomas on Skype. Thomas answers. He's sitting in his room as
he talks to Alyssa.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey Tommy, look at my new room.
                                                            

65.

                       THOMAS CARVER
Wow, there's so much space! I can
tell you spent hours unpacking!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Give me a break, I just got here.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Good point. By the way, you won't
believe it but, since I've started
editing your videos and Ben's
videos, Chuck and Melissa have
asked me to edit their videos.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
That's great! Who knows, maybe one
day Adrian will ask you to edit
for him!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
I doubt it but one can only hope!
                                                            
 
INT. THOMAS'S COMPUTER - SKYPE - DAY
                                                            
Thomas is talking to Chuck and Melissa through Skype. They
are all sitting in their rooms.
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Hey Thomas, I really appreciate
you editing my review for The Iron
Giant.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
No problem Chuck!
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
No, I mean it, thank you, thank
you, I really, really appreciate
it from the bottom of my heart.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Sure.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Hey, uhh, if you want, I can do
some artwork for you guys. Would
you like that? If you don't,
that's fine, I was just offering.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
No, I'd love to. How about a title
card for my next review. I want to
review an Aliens rip-off called
            (MORE)

66.

                       THOMAS CARVER (cont'd)
Martians and I think it would be
hilarious if I did a title-card
where one of the martians is
bursting out of my chest and I
just look bored.
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Buddy, that would be hi-larious!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Yeah, that is pretty funny. I'd
love to do it!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Thanks.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Sure. Anything for helping me edit
my Prince of Egypt review.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA'S ROOM - SKYPE - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa and Thomas are talking to Ben, Chuck, and Melissa on
Skype.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey guys, it's nice to meet you
all!
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Pleasure's all mine! May I just
say Thomas is doing a splendid job
editing my videos! No, that's not
enough, he's doing a splendiferous
job!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Someone's kissing Thomas's ass.
But really man, I really
appreciate your help.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Yeah, it's really nice.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Thanks guys.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey I had an idea! Why don't we
all review a movie together?!
Wanna watch the granddaddy of all
bad movies, Plan 9 From Outer
            (MORE)

67.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (cont'd)
Space?!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Actually, let's watch my favorite
movie, Caligula. As much as I love
it, I won't mind you guys making
fun of it.
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Caligula sounds great! That was a
very fun, though gruesome, movie.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Yeah, not a fan of the gore and
porn but I'll watch it.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Great, let's do it then!
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa is talking to Thomas on the phone.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey babe, I had an idea.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER (V.O.)
Yeah?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I was thinking of doing a spin-off
called Mr. Kitty Presents and I
wanted you to edit the review. Can
you please do it?
                                                            
 
INT. MR. KITTY PRESENTS - DON'T SMOKE, NOT COOL - DAY
                                                            
Mr. Kitty is sitting where Alyssa usually sits, reviewing a
non-smoking PSA called DON'T SMOKE, NOT COOL.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
      (MR. KITTY VOICE)
Hey, it's me, Mr. Kitty, and I
don't think anti-smoking PSA's are
cool enough. But how can you make
them cooler?
                                                            
"Mr. Kitty" goes HMM while a timer plays in the background.
                                                            
 

68.

INT. DON'T SMOKE, NOT COOL - BEACH - DAY
                                                            
A guy is sitting at a beach. He takes a cigarette out and is
about to light it when suddenly rap music starts playing.
Suddenly a rap group comes out and circles him.
                                                            
                       RAPPER
Don't smoke, not cool!
You end up looking like a fool!
                                                            
The video pauses.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Perfect.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING
                                                            
Jimmie is on his computer, adding videos to the website.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Just a few more videos to add and
we should be...
                                                            
He sees Alyssa has posted a video called MR. KITTY PRESENTS
DON'T SMOKE, BE COOL.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
I wanted to know because I was
wondering, do you think the
company policy on paying your
contributors might change?
                                                            
He groans. Suddenly he takes out his cell phone and calls
Alyssa.
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting in the kitchen, eating cereal. Suddenly
her phone rings and she takes it out. She answers it.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hello?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hey troublemaker, who do you think
you are?
                                                            
 

69.

INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What are you talking about?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
How could you make a new series?
You know you have to ask for
permission for that.
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, I've read the contract, I
just thought that was if you were
doing it with a friend.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
No, it's all the time, ask Ron for
permission and then we'll put it
up!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Okay.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Great. Bye now.
                                                            
He suddenly hangs up. Alyssa sits there, DUMBSTRUCK at what
just happened. She dials Ronald's number and calls him.
                                                            
 
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - MORNING
                                                            
Ronald is waiting on line to order food at a fast food
restaurant.
                                                            
                       FAST FOOD EMPLOYEE#2 (V.O.)
Welcome to Mondo Burger, can I
take your order?
                                                            
Ronald's cell phone rings and Ronald picks it up.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Hello?
                                                            
 

70.

INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hey Ronald, I have a question, can
I put up a new series called Mr.
Kitty Presents on the website?
                                                            
 
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
      (CONFUSED)
Sure...why are you asking me?
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It's just that Jimmie told me I
needed permission for that.
                                                            
 
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
I have no idea what you're talking
about but, yeah, you can do it.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Thanks.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
No problem. Bye now.
                                                            
Ronald hangs up the phone.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
What a child.
                                                            
Suddenly Ronald's cell phone rings. He picks it up.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Hello?
                                                            
                       INTERVIEWER (V.O.)
Hey, I heard you worked for What I
Just Saw?
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Oh god, another producer. Listen,
I'm busy, let's talk later.
                                                            

71.

                       INTERVIEWER (V.O.)
Wait, I just want to see if we can
set up an inter---.
                                                            
Ronald hangs up the phone.
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S CAR - DAY
                                                            
Adrian is driving his car. Suddenly he hears his phone ring.
He sees that Jimmie is answering. He places it down and puts
it on his speakerphone.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hey Jimmie, how ya doing, bud?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Great Adrian! Y'know, I think we
need to take this website to the
next level. We got our content
creators, the subscription count's
been growing and growing, we're
doing great! But it's been, like,
5 months! We gotta do something
new!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
What did you have in mind?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Well I looked up Ben and it turns
out he lives close by us. You
should do a crossover with him,
our fans'll love it! And we should
start thinking about
merchandising, I mean look at our
subscriber count, we got over a
million subscribers, you know
people will buy it!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Okay, I'll get in touch with Ben
and see if he's interested.
                                                            
 
INT. COFFEE SHOP - MORNING
                                                            
Alyssa and Ben are sitting at a table together, having
coffee.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
I see you got a new series up.
                                                            

72.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah but it wasn't easy. You
wouldn't believe it but when I
sent it to the website, Jimmie
called me and was like "why didn't
you ask for permission? You're
supposed to ask for permission if
you have a new show!" Have you
asked for permission?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
No, I haven't.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I just hope this isn't a regular
thing. I don't know if I can quit.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Well, do you want to quit? Do you
love doing video reviews?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah I do.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Then you should do it! Listen I
know I haven't told you this but I
suffer from depression.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
It's fine. But a few years ago I
just wasn't in a good place. I
didn't have time to make movies, I
was working as a Starbucks cashier
and hated my job, I had a drinking
problem, I was miserable. Ever
since I made The Porn Reviewer,
though, I've been able to make
money doing this and I've had the
time doing what I love, making
reviews and movies. And now I'm
feeling great!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah but what if---?
                                                            
Ben's phone rings. He takes it out and sees Adrian is
calling him.
                                                            

73.

                       BEN DERELICT
Sorry Alyssa I gotta take this.
It's Adrian!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh. Okay, I totally understand,
buddy!
                                                            
Ben picks it up.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
      (EXCITED)
Hello?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
Is this Ben Derelict?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
This is him!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
Would you like to do a review
together on Star Trek?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Like it? I'd love it!
                                                            
 
INT. ADRIAN'S APARTMENT - EVENING
                                                            
Adrian and Ben are sitting at Adrian's usual filming spot,
looking at Adrian's camera while reviewing STAR TREK.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
That movie was awesome!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Except for the lens flare. And the
more action-y tone.
                                                            
Ben laughs.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Yeah but the actors were great,
the special effects were awesome,
I'm sorry I loved the action, and
it had heart too.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Yeah, it's definitely an
entetaining flick, I'll give you
that, just maybe not Star Trek.
                                                            

74.

                       BEN DERELICT
Oh, you're just sounding like a
stereotypical Trek. (Imitates
Ogre) NERD!
                                                            
Adrian laughs.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hey, you're a nerd too!
                                                            
Ben laughs.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Adrian is putting his camera away as he talks to Ben.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Hey man, thanks for doing the
review with me!
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Anytime man!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Before you go, I just have a
question.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Shoot.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
The CEO of the website, Jimmie,
wants to make some merchandise for
the website. Do you know someone
who could help make some artwork
for it?
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Yes! You should ask Melissa, she's
great! Y'know the title cards we
all have?! She's made them and
they look amazing!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Thanks man.
                                                            
 
INT. ART GALLERY - DAY
                                                            
Melissa is standing behind a counter, waiting for customers
to come in. Suddenly her cell phone rings. She looks at
ANDIE, one of the other employees.
                                                            

75.

                       MELISSA PARKER
Hey Andie, I have to use the
bathroom, can you please take
over?
                                                            
Andie walks to Melissa.
                                                            
                       ANDIE
Sure thing, babe.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Thanks, hon.
                                                            
They kiss.
                                                            
 
INT. ART GALLERY - BATHROOM - DAY
                                                            
Melissa walks into the bathroom and answers the call.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Hello?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
Is this Melissa Parker?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Yeah?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
I was talking to Ben the other day
and he said he loves your artwork.
Just loves it, loves it, loves it!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Oh. Really? Why thank you!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
So we were thinking, would you
like to create some artwork for
T-shirts were selling? As well as
a DVD cover?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Yeah, I'd love to!
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
Great! We'll make sure to send you
a shirt!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Okay. How much will I get---?
                                                            

76.

                       ADRIAN MORRIS (V.O.)
Bye now.
                                                            
Adrian hangs up.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Paid?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - DAY
                                                            
Jimmie, Adrian, Ronald, and Sanjay are circling around
Jimmie's laptop, admiring Melissa's artwork, which is
Adrian, shirtless, with muscles and long flowy hair,
standing on a hill while the words WHAT I JUST SAW are above
him.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
I love it love it love it! I just
love how she gave me muscles and
long, flowy hair! And standing on
a hill, looking like a badass?!
Awesome!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Great, we'll use it! And then,
once people start buying it, I'll
make sure to split the proceeds
with you guys.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
What about Melissa?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What about her?
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Don't you think she should get
money from this too?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hey, it'll be fine, we never told
her we were going to pay her.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Okay...
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Sanjay and Jimmie are sitting in Jimmie's couch in his
living room, playing video games. Jimmie's cell phone
suddenly rings. He picks it up and sees that Melissa's
calling.
                                                            

77.

                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Hey man, whose calling?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
It's not important.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
It's one of the contributors,
isn't it?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Listen, I'll let it go to
voicemail and, if it's urgent,
I'll get Ron to deal with it.
                                                            
The phone stops ringing. Jimmie looks for his voicemail and,
when he sees Melissa called, he listens to his voicemail.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER (V.O.)
Hey, this is Melissa, it's been a
few weeks since you started
selling my work so I was just
wondering, will I be getting paid
for this? You never told me...
                                                            
Jimmie hangs up.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
It's nothing, we don't have to sic
Ron on them, it's just Melissa
wondering when she'll get paid!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Listen, if I were you, I'd give
her a cut. After all this is her
artwork we're selling. But, if you
don't want to pay her, why don't
you just tell her?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What's the point? Is something
going to happen?
                                                            
 
INT. SKYPE - MELISSA'S ROOM - DAY
                                                            
Alyssa and Melissa are talking to each other in their rooms
through skype.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Hey Alyssa, can we talk?
                                                            

78.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Sure, what's up?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
I'm having a problem with the
website.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What is it?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
You know the artwork I made? For
their merch and DVD's? They
haven't paid me a single cent for
it!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
I know, I've called Ron, I've
called Adrian, I've called Jimmie,
no one's gotten back to me about
it!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh my god, I'm so sorry!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
I'm getting really worried.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I can see why, though I can't say
I'm surprised! Jimmie is such an
asshole!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
You've dealt with him before?!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, it's a long story, but, you
know what, is there any way you
can still make money?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
How?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What if you just sold the artwork
on your own? Is there anything
stopping you?
                                                            
Melissa thinks about it.
                                                            
 

79.

INT. THE CARTOON REVIEWER - TOP 10 BTAS EPISODES - DAY
                                                            
Melissa is sitting in her usual spot, finishing her list of
the top 10 episodes of Batman The Animated Series.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
And that was the top 10 episodes
of Batman The Animated Series! And
now, I have a question. Did you
buy those T-shirts from
WhatIJustSaw.com or get the DVD of
The Best of What I Just Saw? Well
guess what?! I made the artwork!
And you can buy a copy of the
artwork for only $20 on my
website, WWW.MellisaParker.Com!
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING
                                                            
Jimmie is sitting on his couch next to Sanjay, PISSED.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
What?!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
So she's selling the artwork. So
what?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
The artwork belongs to us not her!
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Technically it does belong to her
though...
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Oh shut up!
                                                            
Jimmie takes out his phone and calls her.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Come on, man, let it go, it's not
like we put a copyright on her
artwork!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
But we sold it!
                                                            
 

80.

INT. MELISSA'S CAR - MORNING
                                                            
Mellisa is in her car, driving to work. Suddenly her phone
rings. She takes it out and puts it on speakerphone.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Hello?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
Hey Melissa, how dare you sell the
artwork!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Well I didn't think it was a big
deal, after all, you weren't
paying me for it!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (V.O.)
That doesn't mean you can use it!
We're still using the image on our
merchandise which means that, oh
right, we own it! Don't you dare
do that again!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Okay, I'm sorry!
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - MORNING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Jimmie quickly hangs up. Sanjay looks at him, ANGRY.
                                                            
                       SANJAY ACHARYA
Fuck you dude!
                                                            
Sanjay gets up and walks away.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Am I wrong?! Am I?!
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING
                                                            
Alyssa is sitting in Margaret's living room, talking to
Melissa on the phone.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER (V.O.)
      (BURSTING INTO
       TEARS)
I was just driving on my way to
work then suddenly Jimmie just
calls me and started berating me
for selling my artwork!
                                                            

81.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh my god, I can't believe it.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER (V.O.)
      (BURSTING INTO
       TEARS)
I don't know why he got so angry
at me! What did I do wrong?! It's
not like he paid me for it or told
me they put a copyright on it!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Listen to me Melissa, you did
nothing wrong, okay?!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Okay.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Don't worry, I will make sure
everything gets settled.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Thank you so much!
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING
                                                            
Jimmie is again playing video games, this time with Ronald.
Suddenly his cell phone rings and he picks it up.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hello?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Hey Jimmie, Melissa told me that
you got angry at her for selling
HER artwork. Why would you do
that?
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Because we're the ones who sold
it, not her.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Honestly that makes you sound even
worse.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
      (ANGRY)
Listen here, troublemaker, if you
and your girlfriend say something
like that to me again, I'll get
            (MORE)

82.

                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS (cont'd)
you both kicked off the site.
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S KITCHEN - EVENING
                                                            
Alyssa is suddenly nervous, not sure she wants to quit the
website.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Look, I'm sorry about that, just,
next time, please at least let her
know you weren't gonna pay her or
wanted her to sell the artwork,
okay? I just think it's ridiculous
to create so much drama over
something like this.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Whatever, just make sure she
doesn't go behind our back again.
In fact I don't want any of you
going behind my back, okay?!
Alright, bye now!
                                                            
Jimmie hangs up.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
One of the children?!
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Yep.
                                                            
                       RONALD MORRIS
Thought so.
                                                            
 
INT. MARGARET'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Alyssa is again on her computer, talking to Melissa through
Skype.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Any luck?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
No. Just out of curiosity, though,
what are you going to do now?
                                                            

83.

                       MELISSA PARKER
I think I'll stay on the site.
After all, it was just one bad
experience, I'm sure Jimmie will
have forgotten anything ever
happened.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Are you sure about that?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Why not? I mean are you leaving
the site?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
I don't know.
                                                            
She thinks about it.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Y'know, I thought've something
that could cheer us both up.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
What?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
What if we all met in person?
Maybe do an event or a convention
or something like that.
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
That could be good. I hear Pop
Culture Fest is coming up.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Isn't that in November?
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
It's twice a year, May and
November.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Okay, sure! Let's see if the other
contributors are available and
let's do it!
                                                            
                       MELISSA PARKER
Cool.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It'll be great to finally meet you
in person!
                                                            

84.

                       MELISSA PARKER
You too!
                                                            
 
EXT. POP CULTURE FEST - DAY
                                                            
All of the reviewers, Alyssa, Melissa, Ben, and Chuck, are
standing outside of Pop Culture Fest, hugging and smiling,
happy to see each other.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh my god, I can't believe you
guys finally came!
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Alyssa, I wouldn't miss this for
the world. Not. For. The. World.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Thanks Chuck!
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Of course, Alyssa, I will always
come.
                                                            
Suddenly Thomas drives in and gets out of his car. Alyssa
gets really excited.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Oh my god, Thomas!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Alyssa!
                                                            
Alyssa runs to Thomas and hugs him.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Finally I get to meet you in
person!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
I'm glad to finally meet you too
Alyssa.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Hey man, thanks for coming. Now,
lovebirds, how about we all go
inside?
                                                            
 

85.

INT. POP CULTURE FEST - DAY
                                                            
A bunch of people are sitting in rows of chairs, talking to
each other while waiting for the contributors of
WhatIJustSaw.com to walk in. They are facing a table with
chairs that are in front of a big screen. Suddenly the
contributors walk in and everyone cheers.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (V.O.)
Oh my god, I can't believe it,
everyone is cheering for me. And
this would've never happened if it
wasn't for the website. If being
on the website is going to lead to
things like this, maybe I should
stay on after all.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Hey Alyssa, isn't this cool?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It sure is, Ben, it sure is.
                                                            
The contributors get on stage and take their seats.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Welcome everyone to What I Just
Saw's first ever Pop Culture Fest
panel!
                                                            
The audience cheers.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
And before we begin, let's show a
clip of my newest movie,
Undercover Hooker Cop!
                                                            
The audience cheers again. The lights dim and the movie
starts playing on the screen behind them.
                                                            
 
INT. UNDERCOVER HOOKER COP - ALLEYWAY - DAY
                                                            
Molly, playing a prostitute, is lying in a corner, in FEAR,
while Jeff, playing the pimp, stands over her.
                                                            
                       MOLLY
Why are you doing this?
                                                            

86.

                       JEFF
Because you messed around with Big
Daddy Kane. And when you mess
around with Big Daddy Kane, you
get the bullet!
                                                            
He shoots her. The audience cheers.
                                                            
 
INT. POP CULTURE FEST - DAY - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Chuck is signing an autograph for a fan who is standing next
to him, GIDDY to have met him.
                                                            
                       CHUCK'S FAN
Oh my god, I can't believe I'm
meeting Chuck Lancaster!
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
And I can't believe I'm meeting
you!
                                                            
                       CHUCK'S FAN
Little old me?! I'm nothing
special.
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Hey, we're all special.
                                                            
He hands her the autograph. She sees it has his phone number
on it.
                                                            
                       CHUCK'S FAN
Tha---is this your phone number?
                                                            
                       CHUCK LANCASTER
Call me.
                                                            
                                         CUT TO:
                                                            
Ben is talking to Adrian over the phone.
                                                            
                       BEN DERELICT
Pop Culture Fest was awesome!
                                                            
 
INT. FAST FOOD RESTAURANT - DAY
                                                            
Adrian and Jimmie are in a restaurant. Jimmie is eating
while Adrian is talking on his cell phone.
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
                                                            

87.

Jimmie stops eating.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Who are you talking to?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Ben. He's talking to me about his
day at Pop Culture Fest with the
other contributors.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
They went to Pop Culture Fest?
                                                            
                       ADRIAN MORRIS
Yeah, Alyssa came up with idea.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
I see.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
                                                            
Alyssa and Thomas are lying in their bed, when suddenly
Alyssa's phone rings. Alyssa picks it up and sees that
Jimmie is calling. She groans then answers it.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Hello?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
                                                            
Jimmie is sitting at the table, looking PISSED.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Hey Alyssa, did you have fun at
the convention today?
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yes I did, Jimmie, why are you
asking?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
You know that Adrian and the rest
of our team had a horrible time
there, right?
                                                            
 

88.

INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yeah, Ben told me about that but
he also told me that was due to a
miscommunication, so, I just don't
get it, why are we talking about
this?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Because you're being stupid.
Conventions are a waste of time.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Isn't Adrian going to MomoCon
soon?
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
Jimmie can't believe it but she has a point and isn't quite
sure what to say next.
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
I...uh...umm next time you do
something like this, tell us about
it first.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Don't worry about it, I will.
                                                            
 
INT. JIMMIE'S APARTMENT - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       JIMMIE WILLIAMS
Good. Bye now.
                                                            
Jimmie hangs up.
                                                            
 
INT. ALYSSA AND THOMAS'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Jimmie again?
                                                            

89.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Yep. And guess what? He didn't
like us coming here!
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Are you sure you want to stay on
this website?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Should I really leave just because
I don't get along with one guy?
Especially when I'm friends with
everyone else?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
They'd still be your friends. And,
babe, I would definitely leave the
site with you.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
It's not just that.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
What is it?
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Where am I going to go? Youtube is
strict with copyright and how are
people supposed to see us through
Blip without the exposure
WhatIJustSaw.com gives us? I just
don't know if I can afford to get
off the website. I was fired
during the recession and could
barely find any work before I got
this gig. And the only jobs I
could get was the occasional dog
walking or snow shoveling gig
which, by the way, I wasn't
exactly getting paid much for.
This is the only way I can
survive.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Well, what about your fans? I'm
sure they'd stick by you if you
left the site!
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Would they? I've only been on the
site for a few months, I'm not
only unsure how big my fanbase is,
I'm not even sure they'd still
watch my videos. My first video
            (MORE)

90.

                       ALYSSA MICHAELS (cont'd)
only got 100 views in a week, I
wasn't exactly Adrian Morris when
I was first starting out! But
after joining the website? I got
400 more views in a day. And the
views just kept increasing from
there with each video I made! And,
as you know, not only was I
getting more views, I was making
more money. I'm sorry but, for all
I know, if the website goes so do
the views. Think about it. Were
your videos getting a lot of views
before you got on the website?
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
No, they weren't.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Exactly. You do you but, right
now, I'm staying.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Well, if you're staying, I'll stay
too.
                                                            
                       ALYSSA MICHAELS
Thanks hon. Hopefully all we have
to do is stay out of Jimmie's way
and maybe things will improve.
                                                            
                       THOMAS CARVER
Will it?
                                                            
Alyssa thinks about it and realizes she isn't sure. Alyssa
sighs, hoping things get better from here on out, but isn't
sure that will be the case. She sighs.
                                                            


THE END


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