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by Lana Collins (lanajo5331@gmail.com)

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Drama User Review: NOT YET
RATED
This script is based on a true story. Diane and Marty meet at work, starting a relationship that goes sour quickly. Marty uses Diane for a roof over his head, food on his table and financial gain. Diane's best friend, Anna, steps in to help Diane get rid of Marty and gets her money from him.

FADE IN:

INT. DARLENE MOVING INTO HER APARTMENT - DAY

DARLENE unlocks the door, sets a box on the floor. Sitting
down, two men come in with the last of the boxes. One
reaches into the cooler for two cold beers and hands one to
the other man.

            DARLENE
      (sits back on
       couch)
Thank you guys for all your help.
I really appreciate it.

She reaches into her pocket for money and gives each a $50
bill. The two men high five each other, crack open the
beers and leave. Running her fingers through her hair, she
reflects on the past couple months.

CUT TO:

HOMELESS SHELTER [FLASHBACK]

INT. HOMELESS SHELTER EARLY MORNING

ROBERT, MOE and other staff members are walking around
waking everyone.

ROBERT
(shouting)
Everyone up and out. Make sure
your mats and bedding are put
away. Come on everybody, time to
get up. Gonna be a nice day
today. Enjoy it and you all have
a good day. Come on. Up and out.

OTHER ROOM OF SHELTER

            MARTY
      (throwing a
       tantrum)
Orders! All I ever hear around
here is orders. Same thing every
day. I'm sick of this! No
coffee, no breakfast.
      (throws a blanket
       across the room)
You treat us like a bunch of
animals!

ROBERT goes into the other room.

ROBERT
(yells)
Mornin' guys. What's going on in
here?

MARTY
(points to ROBERT)
I hate this place and I hate you!

ROBERT
(puts his hand up)
Calm down. Lower your voice.
There's ladies here.

            MARTY
      (purses his lips)
Lower my voice? Are you serious?
      (points to NICHOLE)
What about her! Got a problem,
bitch? Yeah, you, crack ho.
      (shakes fist at
       NICHOLE)
I'm talking to you. You ain't no
lady.

MARTY throws a pillow at NICHOLE'S face. She picks it up
and tosses it to ROBERT.

NICHOLE
(yelling at MARTY)
Crack ho? You dirty white trailer
trash. You gonna be in the trunk.
My man comin' from Chicago. You
ain't nobody.

            DARLENE
      (to woman behind
       her)
That's rich. You just told her
you're going to stuff her in the
trunk. Won't it be a little
crowded?

NICHOLE
(flips off DARLENE)
Shut up! You're next.

DARLENE
If there's room.
(shrugs shoulders)

            MOE
      (walks to both
       women)
Now ladies. Play nice.

DARLENE
(turns and smiles)
Good morning, Moe.

MOE
Morning. Let's have a better rest
of the day. It just started.
(turns to ROBERT)
Hey man. You need help?

            ROBERT
I'm cool. Go ahead.
      (turns to MARTY)
Follow me. I'm going to help you.
      (takes MARTY'S arm)

MARTY turns to punch ROBERT. ROBERT catches MARTY'S arm and
twists it behind his back. He pushes MARTY out the door.

EXT. SHELTER - CONTINUOUS

MARTY is panhandling. He steps in front of a man to get him
to stop.

MARTY
Hey man, you got any extra change?

MAN ON STREET
Bank's down the street. They hsve
all the extra change you need.
(pushes MARTY away)

MARTY throws his arms up and walks to the Corner Coffee
Shop.

EXT. CORNER COFFEE SHOP - CONTINUOUS

MARTY approaches a woman sitting alone at a table outside
the coffee shop.

MARTY
Hey, can you help me out with a
cup of coffee?

WOMAN AT TABLE
I guess.

She give him the money, he walks inside.

WOMAN AT TABLE
While you're in there, order
yourself a cup of manners.

MARTY
Yeah, I'll get right on that.

INT. CORNER COFFEE SHOP - CONTINUOUS

Standing in line, MARTY scans the room.

MARTY
(winks at KAREN)
Hold that chair for me.

            KAREN
      (shakes her head)
Nope.
      (looks at BILL)
Doesn't he look like a stalker?

BILL
I'll switch chairs with you.

KAREN
Good plan. He got kicked out this
morning.

MARTY approache BILL and KAREN.

BILL
He woke up on the wrong side of
the floor.

MARTY stands behind BILL.

            MARTY
Ain't you the funny one. Smart
ass.
      (looks at his
       coffee cup)
If I didn't need this so bad,
you'd be wearing it.
      (glances at KAREN)
Or ... perhaps you'd like to wear
it, Bitch.

KAREN
Temper, temper.

BILL
(stands up)
Take it easy. She was just
saying..

MARTY
(yelling)
I don't care what she's saying.
She talks like she's wearing two
left shoes with two right gloves.

KAREN
DARLENE was right. You really are
a tool. Don't you ever get tired
of being a bully?

MARTY
I'm outta here! See ya at the
park.
(leaves)

As MARTY passes the window, he flips off KAREN and BILL.

EXT. RICE PARK - MOMENTS LATER

MARTY stops at the edge of the park and looks around. He
sees JOE sitting on a bench.

MARTY
(sits beside JOE)
Hey, man, what's up?

JOE
Nothin'. Just watchin' the birds
and waitin' for my lady friend to
pick me up.

MARTY
Wish I had a lady friend to pick
me up. I got my butt run outta the
shelter this morning.

JOE
(snickering)
Yeah, I heard. What the hell were
you thinking?

MARTY
Damn! I'm getting it from all
sides today.I'm going to the Library.

He sees a few guys huddled in a circle, drinking.

RALPH
(guzzling a beer)
Hey, ain't you the dude spoutin'
off this morning?

MARTY waves and keeps walking.

EXT. STEPS OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY - MOMENTS LATER

MARTY
(to himself)
I'll sit til it opens. What else
can go wrong?

Library SECURITY GUARD appears in front of MARTY.

SECURITY GUARD
Hey man, get lost. You know you
can't be here.

MARTY
Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going.

MARTY goes back to the park.

EXT. RICE PARK - MOMENTS LATER

MARTY lays down under a big pine tree, resting his head on
his backpack. He sees KAREN.

MARTY
Hey, KAREN. Come here.

KAREN
(shaking her head)
Only to stomp on your face.

MARTY
(turns his head)
Bitch!

RALPH walks to MARTY.

            RALPH
      (sits by MARTY)
Hey Dude, You wanna work tonight?
Get yourself some dollars? I'm
going to Day Labor later. You got
no money and no place to go.
            (MORE)

RALPH (cont'd)
You're a mess.

MARTY
You're toasted before 9 a.m. and
I'm the mess? How's that working
for you?

RALPH
(plugging his nose)
You're kinda ripe, man. Go put
some water on your ass. Clean up
in that bathroom in the Skyway.
Hardly anyone goes in there.

MARTY
(sits up)
Good idea. I'll see you later.

INT. DAY LABOR - AFTERNOON

MARTY walks to the desk and and picks up an application.

WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK
(smiling)
Fill this out and bring it to me.
Can you work tonight?

MARTY
Yes, I can.

He finds a place to sit. RALPH is a few chairs away,
waiting to be called for a job.

            RALPH
      (thumbs up to
       MARTY)
You made it. By the way, you
clean up well.

MARTY brings his application to the front. He crosses his
fingers.

RALPH walks to the desk. WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK hands
paperwork to both men to take to the job site.

WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK
We'll get you there and pick you
up in the morning. Do you want to
be paid daily or once a week?

RALPH
Daily for now. I got nothing.

MARTY
Same here.

WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK
Be back here by 10:00.

MARTY
Sounds good. I'll be here with
bells on.

RALPH
Don't wear bells, man. You'll get
beat up.

Both men turn to leave.

INT. GROCERY STORE - LATER

MARTY
Hey, man. How 'bout frontin' me a
few til tomorrow? You know I'm
good for it. I ain't had no food
all day.

RALPH
Ain't had no? I'll help you out.
Just remember, it's a loan.

MARTY picks up 2 sandwiches, 2 cokes, and a bag of cookies.
He grabs a bag of chips and stuffs it in his shirt. CUSTOMER
IN STORE watches him. He confronts MARTY.

            CUSTOMER IN STORE
      (points to MARTY'S
       shirt)
Take it out of your shirt, put
everything away and get out of
here. I should call the cops.
Three hots and a cot might be just
what you need.

            MARTY
      (points to RALPH)
My buddy is paying for this stuff.
Leave me alone.
      (shoves man
       backwards)
Back off!

CUSTOMER IN STORE
(shoves MARTY)
Get out!

MARTY gives everything to RALPH.

MARTY
I don't need no more problems. See
you outside.

RALPH
K, man. I gottcha. No worries.

MARTY
(waves)
Thanks, man.

EXT. DAY LABOR - NIGHT

MARTY and RALPH are outside at Day Labor. Three other men
are waiting, also.

MARTY
Anyone know what this job pays?

RALPH
I think $10.00. It's easy work.

MARTY
That's good. Wonder what we'll be
doing.

THE WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK pulls up and rolls down the
window.

WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK
Come on guys. Let's get going.

EXT. THE PLASTICS FACTORY - MOMENTS LATER

WOMAN BEHIND THE DESK
We're here. Someone will be here
in the morning to pick you up.

INT. BREAK ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Everyone is waiting to go to work. MARTY sits at the same
table as DIANE.

10.

MARTY
I'm MARTY, and you are?

DIANE
DIANE.

DOUG, the Floor Supervisor enters the Break Room.

            DOUG
      (points to two men)
You two can get the machines you
were on last night.
      (points to DIANE)
I need you and this guy in Packing
tonight. The rest of you follow
me.

DIANE
Put your lunch in the fridge.

MARTY
How long have you been working
here?

DIANE
I have a full time job, but I need
extra money. This is the quickest
way I could get it.

            MARTY
Oh, the lady loves money, huh?
Looks like one boring ass job.
      (makes snoring
       noise)

DIANE
Complaining already? Be glad
you're working. We'll switch jobs
after break.

            MARTY
      (deep breath)
I ain't had a real job for a long
time. Gonna have to get use to
this.
      (laughs)
You better hope I can stay awake
all night. I've been up since
5:00 this morning.

DIANE
I better hope? Wrong!

11.

INT. PACKING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE
(points to a chair)
This is where you'll be for now.
Take the pots from the bins, count
out 48 and stack them in the
boxes. Put the boxes on that
pallet. The fork lift guy will be
here later.

MARTY
That's it?

DIANE
Pretty much.

MARTY
Can we have coffee in here?

DIANE
You can, but you have to keep a
cover on it. Things get spilled
all the time.

            MARTY
      (holds up closed
       coffee mug)
Gottcha. Gonna fill this. I'll
be right back.

DIANE
DOUG'S making his rounds. If you
leave your station and get caught,
you'll get sent home. It's your
neck.

INT. BREAK ROOM - LATER

DIANE and MARTY go for lunch. DIANE searches for her lunch
bag.

MARTY
I saw you put it in the fridge. It
didn't just walk away.

            DIANE
      (angry)
I should know better. There's a
guy who works here a couple nights
a week. Every time he's here, my
lunch disappears. Coincidence? I
think not. I'll be back. Bet
            (MORE)

12.

DIANE (cont'd)
he's outside.
(leaves break room)

EXT. PICNIC TABLE OUTSIDE OF BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE walks to the picnic table. MARTY follows. RALPH is
opening a plastic container. Another container is sitting
on the table.

DIANE says nothing, smacks RALPH'S hand to let go of the
container, and picks up her lunch.

DIANE
(looks at RALPH)
Hope you washed your hands. You're
a real ass.

MARTY stands behind RALPH, grabs his shoulder to pull RALPH
to the ground.

DOUG walks to the table to see RALPH on the ground. He has a
paper in one hand and a sandwich in the other.

            DOUG
      (taking a bite
       from sandwich)
I'll be my uncle's monkey! There's
my Ice Tea. Time for you to go.
      (gives RALPH a
       paper)
Don't come back.

            RALPH
      (looks up at DOUG)
What about him?
      (points to MARTY)
Ain't you gonna do nothin' about
that?

DOUG
I didn't see a thing.

RALPH
(walks to MARTY)
Don't forget, you owe me. I
thought we were friends.

RALPH punches MARTY in the stomach before leaving.

13.

INT. PACKING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER

DOUG enters and goes to DIANE.

DOUG
(to DIANE)
You okay? Did you get a chance to
eat?

DIANE
(nods)
Yeah, I did.

DOUG
He won't be back. Let me know if
you want this guy tomorrow night.
I'll request him.

DIANE
Go ahead. He's doing okay.

DOUG nods and leaves.

EXT. END OF SHIFT - PICNIC TABLE AREA - MORNING

            MARTY
      (smells the fresh
       air)
Nice morning. I gotta find a
place to crash. I'm beat.

DIANE
See you later.

DIANE takes her keys out of her purse and walks to her car.
As she drives away she waves to MARTY.

THREE MORNINGS LATER - END OF DIANE'S LAST NIGHT

MARTY
What's going on with you today?

DIANE
I'm picking up my new car later.

MARTY
New car? Things are looking good
for someone. I'll buy breakfast.

14.

INT. RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER

MARTY and DIANE wait to be seated.

HOSTESS
Two?

MARTY
Yes. Can we have a booth?

HOSTESS
You sure can. This way.

DIANE
Thank you. Two coffees, please.

HOSTESS
Sure. Your waitress will be right
with you.

MARTY
So, you're buying a new car.

DIANE
I am. I was working to get the
down payment. The place I work at
closes for 2 weeks every year.
With my vacation pay and this job,
I have the down payment I need.

MARTY
Tell me about you.

DIANE
Not much to tell. Just living the
American dream. Tell me about
you.

MARTY
Well, my father was adventurous.
When he got the bug to live some
place, that's where we ended up.
Never stayed in one place too
long. It was hard on my mother. I
lived in Tucson, Arizona the
longest. A couple years ago I got
run out of there. I was told never
to show my face in Arizona, ever.

WAITRESS AT TABLE TO TAKE MARTY AND DIANE'S ORDERS

15.

DIANE
(puzzling look)
What? Why?

            MARTY
I was dating this gal. Her father
was involved with some drug ring.
Everything he touched turned to
gold. I wanted my cut and he gave
me job.
      (slams palm on
       table)
He set me up. Packed 80 pounds of
pot in my car, told me to take it
to Florida. I'd be paid once I
made the delivery. Sounds easy
enough, right?
      (chuckles)
I spent the night in a motel in
Louisiana. Someone broke into my
car. He insisted I stole the pot,
sold it and hid the money. His
boys escorted me out of Tucson
with $20 for food and gas.
      (grits his teeth)

DIANE
You don't live like that anymore,
I hope.

MARTY
(shakes his head)
On my way to Minnesota, I had the
most amazing experience.

DIANE
Oh? What happened?

            MARTY
I was cruising the highway through
Kentucky. Taking in the scenery. I
picked up a hitch hiker.
      (shrugs shoulders)
I told him my name and asked his
name. He looked at me like he
didn't know. Then he said 'good
fortune is on your way'. I asked
what he meant, and the strangest
thing happened.
      (rubs his arms)
He disappeared. Vanished. I
swear! I think I met Jesus. He had
no bags, backpack, bed roll,
nothing. Just vanished.
            (MORE)

16.

            MARTY (cont'd)
      (rubs his arms
       again)
Not sure what he meant by 'good
fortune'. I hope it's money.
      (rubs hand
       together)
If I could find the right woman I
could get exactly what I deserve.

DIANE
(surprised)
Did you hear what you just said?

            MARTY
      (points finger at
       her)
I've experience things you'll
never, ever understand.
      (raises his voice
       a little)
Women are suppose to support their
man. I wouldn't expect any less
from you!

DIANE
I think we better change the
subject.

MARTY
(embarrassed)
I guess. Do you believe in life
on other planets?

DIANE
(doubtful tone)
Not real sure about that.

MARTY
I should save this story, but I'm
revved up.
(laughs)
I told you. I've had some of
strange experiences.

DIANE
(sarcastic)
Don't stop now. You're on a roll!

            MARTY
      (deep breath)
I was in Roswell, New Mexico. Lots
of strange things happen there.
One evening I was sitting outside
            (MORE)

17.

            MARTY (cont'd)
with a neighbor. We were checkin'
out the Big Dipper when we saw a
space ship. It was hovering over
us. Like something you see in a
Sci-Fi movie. I couldn't believe
it!
      (excited)
We were lifted up inside this
ship. I wasn't even scared. Kinda
awesome, really. Don't remember
much after that.
      (rubs his arms)
Next thing I knew, I woke up in my
bed. My left arm was kinda stiff,
but I thought I slept funny. My
buddy thought the same thing.
      (shakes his head)
I thought I dreamed it, but when I
got in the shower I saw pin-like
marks my stomach.
      (pats his stomach)
They were tender for a long time.
I still don't understand what all
happened.
      (throws up his
       arms)
I told my doctor I needed x-rays
to see if something was implanted,
but instead, Dr. Dumb Ass referred
me to shrink.

MARTY stares as DIANE is laughing.

DIANE
(skeptical)
I don't know what to tell you.

MARTY
I'm not a liar. I really was
abducted. Why can't you believe
me?

DIANE
(laughing)
Good story, though. I like the
part when the aliens tucked you in
bed. Bet that was a sight.

MARTY leans to DIANE, grabbing her hand.

18.

DIANE
Let go of me.
(pulls away)
What's wrong with you? Sit back.

The WAITRESS puts the tab on the table. MARTY reaches for
it.

MARTY
Thank you.
(looks at DIANE)
Sorry I got upset. I AM telling
the truth. My life is not
ordinary, by any means.

DIANE
I don't know what to tell you.
(shrugs shoulders)

MARTY
(rolls his eyes)
The brown spots are still there. I
told my minister about it. He
said it's the sign of a STAR
CHILD, that I was given healing
powers. That fits right in with
meeting Jesus. I haven't used my
power for a long time. I get very
exhausted.

            DIANE
      (chuckling)
Not only did you meet Jesus, but
also have the power to heal
because you were abducted by
aliens.
      (sarcastic)
What color is the sky in your
world?
      (shakes head)

MARTY
Why? Am I boring you?

DIANE
I'm tired. I worked all night,
remember?

MARTY
I'd like to see you again. Can I
have your phone number?

19.

MARTY writes the number on his hand as DIANE gives it to
him.

MARTY
Where do you live? I need a ride
downtown.

DIANE
That's out of my way. I'll give
you a ride to the bus stop.

MARTY
(disappointed)
Okay, that'll work.

MARTY and DIANE walk together to the register. MARTY pays
the tab, DIANE walks outside. She takes out her phone.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE DOOR AT RESTAURANT - MOMENTS LATER

            DIANE
      (on cell phone)
Hi, remember that guy I told you
about?.... I just had breakfast
with him....Well, I thought he was
alright, but now I'm not so
sure....He's inside, so I have to
make this quick....He told me he
was abducted by aliens....Here he
comes, bye.
      (puts phone away)

MARTY walks out the door with a scrawl look on his face.

MARTY
Who was that?

DIANE
(surprised)
A friend.

MARTY
(nodding head)
A friend? What kind of friend?

DIANE
(sarcastic)
Is this your week to keep me?

MARTY
You don't gotta put it like that.

20.

DIANE
Don't gotta? That was
intelligent.
(points to car)
Just get in.

MARTY
Let me go home with you.

DIANE
Uhm....No. Bad idea, very bad
idea.

BUS STOP

MARTY
I'll call you tonight.

DIANE
Yeah, okay. Bye.

MARTY closes the door and walks away. He turns around to
wave. She doesn't look back.

MARTY
(to himself)
Wonder if she likes me.

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - AFTERNOON

Sitting in her new car, taking in the new car smell, DIANE
smiles, nods her head, and gets out. As she's locking the
door, ANNA and JULIE drive up.

JULIE
Hey Mom, DIANE got her new car.

ANNA
(smiles)
She sure did.

JULIE
I'm gonna name it Clarence.

ANNA
(smirking)
She's pretty proud of it. She
worked super hard to get it.

ANNA and JULIE get out of the car and walk to DIANE.

21.

DIANE
(grinning)
So, what do you think?

ANNA
(nods)
Nice, very nice. I like it. JULIE
said you have good taste. This
really is a cute car. Pretty
color too.

JULIE
(laughing)
YUP. Clarence.

DIANE
Clarence?

JULIE
Yep.

ANNA
If she had her way, I'd be driving
a Vette.

DIANE
True. Let's go inside. I'll make
coffee.

ANNA
Good idea.

INT. DIANE'S KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE starts a fresh pot of coffee. ANNA gets 2 cups and a
soda for JULIE.

The phone rings. DIANE glances at the Caller ID.

DIANE
Let it ring. Maybe he'll get
bored and call one of his alien
buddies.

            JULIE
      (laughing)
Alien? Seriously? Oh my God!
Does this dude have a name?
      (laughing harder)

DIANE
Clarence.

22.

JULIE
Can I watch TV?

DIANE
Go ahead. Don't sit on the couch
with that coke.

LYDIA pours coffee in both cups and sits down.

            ANNA
      (monotone voice)
DIANE accepts an invitation for
breakfast. While eating, a warm
fuzzy overcomes her. Is it the
coffee?
      (hesitates)
Or is it the company? DIANE is
told she is in a restaurant. Her
companion is a human male.
Or....is he? How can she be sure?
DIANE may be dining with a money
hungry womanizer....a possible
faith healer, or maybe an alien.
She is now....entering.... the
Twilight Zone. Be aware, be very
aware of the company you keep.
Anything may occur on this planet
called Earth.

Everyone is laughing.

ANNA
You going to see him again?

DIANE
He's cheap entertainment. But
he's kind of a hot head. Gets
upset fast and whines a lot. Not
really sure I trust him.

JULIE is in the living room, half listening to the
conversation in the kitchen.

JULIE
He's a whiner baby. Eeewww!
(sings)
Whiner baby, whiner baby, every
party needs a whiner baby, that's
why we invited MARTY.

Julie goes into the kitchen and picks up a cookie.

23.

JULIE
(grinning)
So, DIANE, when do I get to ride
in your new car?

DIANE
How 'bout now. I have to go to
the grocery store.
(to ANNA)
Is it okay?

ANNA
Sure, just drop her off when
you're done.

JULIE
(looks up at DIANE)
Can we get tacos? Please, please,
please?

DIANE
You'll spoil your supper.

JULIE
This is my supper. Mom doesn't
like Tacos.

ANNA
It's up to you. She's on your
time.
(smiling)
I don't have to cook tonight. Yay!

ANNA gives JULIE money.

            ANNA
Have fun. I'll see you later,
Sweetie. Be good.
      (kisses JULIE on
       cheek)
Love ya, Babe.

As ANNA leaves, DIANE'S phone rings. She answers it,
reluctantly.

INT. SKYWAY AT PAY PHONE - LATER

MARTY
Hi there....You get your
car?....What color is
it?....Didn't picture you with a
blue car....Thought I'd stop by
tonight....you busy?....Oh, I
(MORE)

24.

            MARTY (cont'd)
thought we could get
      (puts fist to
       phone)
together....Change your plans, I
want to see you....You mean, you'd
rather spend your evening with
some kid than with me?....Next
week? ....Yeah, okay. Why do I
have to wait til Saturday to see
you?....Yeah, everyone is always
busy....I'll call you later. Good
night.

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

EXT. COMO PARK PARKING LOT AT THE LAKE - DAY

DIANE drives around Lake Como looking for MARTY. He is
standing in front of the Pavilion. She parks her car and
walks towards him.

MARTY walks to DIANE, takes her arm and tries to kiss her
cheek. DIANE backs away.

DIANE
Back off! Let go of my arm.

MARTY
I'm treating you to a show, dinner
and dancing. Come on, let's go
sit down.

He takes her to the Pavilion and points to a wedding that
is about to begin.

DIANE
(surprised)
Who's getting married? I'm not
dressed to go to a wedding. I'm
not going in there.

MARTY
(smiling)
I didn't know, myself, til I got
here. I crash weddings.

DIANE
Are you serious? Why?

25.

MARTY
How do you think I eat on
weekends? Come on. I do this all
the time.
(grab DIANE'S arm)
Let's go! We don't want to be
late.

As they sit down, a man sitting behind DIANE taps MARTY'S
shoulder. He turns around.

GUY AT WEDDING
I thought that was you. Good to
see you.

MARTY
(winks at DIANE)
Good to see you, too.

GUY AT WEDDING
I'm back at work. Long layoff.
When you coming back?

MARTY
I have a new job and really like
it. I'll tell you about it after
the ceremony.

Everyone stands as the bride walks up the aisle.

EXT. OPEN AREA OF PAVILION - CONTINUOUS

The guests are getting in line to greet the Bride and Groom.

            DIANE
      (speaks with
       disgust)
I don't like this. I think we
should leave. I'm not getting in
that line.

            MARTY
      (shoves DIANE)
Oh, yes you are. Don't embarrass
me.
      (shrugs shoulders)
So what if I have to sit through a
wedding. Good food, good drink
and good entertainment.
      (upset)
Once we're through the line, we
get our food, eat it, enjoy it and
            (MORE)

26.

MARTY (cont'd)
wait for the music to begin.

DINNER LINE

MARTY
Just put some damn food on your
plate and sit down.

            DIANE
      (angry)
Shove me again!
What's wrong with you!
      (picks up a plate)
I won't do this twice.

GUY AT WEDDING invites DIANE and MARTY to sit with his
party.

            DIANE
      (hands her plate
       to MARTY)
Dish up my plate, please. I need
to use the restroom.

MARTY
(worried look)
Are you coming back?

DIANE
Insecure? I'll find you.

DIANE leaves the Pavilion, runs for her car and leaves the
park.

TWO WEEKS LATER

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - MORNING

DIANE is getting into of her car as her phone is rings. It
stops and rings again.

DIANE
Hello?....Oh, hi....That's
dumb....Yep, that's right. I was
kidnapped by a gang of wedding
crashers....You'll get over
it....I don't like being
bullied....No, I don't do things
like that. It's wrong, got it?
Wrong!....No, you can't come over.
If you want to meet somewhere,
(MORE)

27.

DIANE (cont'd)
that's fine.

EXT. MC DONALDS - LATER

MARTY is standing outside of McDonalds waiting for DIANE.

.

MARTY
There you are, I didn't think
you'd show.

DIANE
So, who's paying for coffee? The
bride or the groom?

MARTY
Funny, very funny.

DIANE and MARTY go inside. DIANE pays for her coffee and
walks away, leaving MARTY to order and pay for his own.

DIANE
Didn't you get coffee?

            MARTY
      (follows DIANE)
I only got enough money for bus
fare to get home.
      (puts out his hand)
I need some money.

DIANE
(sarcastic)
Couldn't find a Sunday morning
wedding to crash? So you want ME
to buy your breakfast? I'm only
having coffee, but thanks for
asking.

MARTY
Hold on, I'm going to get a glass
of water.

MARTY asks for a water glass, fills it with Coke and goes
back to the booth.

MARTY
(talks fast)
I paid for a kid's Coke.

28.

DIANE
Liar! You asked for a water glass
and stole a Coke.

DIANE grabs her purse and stands. As she leaves, MARTY
grabs her arm.

MARTY
(yells)
Fine! I'm homeless, I'm hungry
and my girlfriend threw me out. I
was staying in a shelter. They
threw me out. Happy?

CUSTOMER
Tell her how it is, Buddy.
Testify!

DIANE
I'm not unhappy.

MARTY
One morning she tells me she
doesn't love me, never did, and I
had to go. That same day I got
fired.
(snaps fingers)
Then I went to the bank and found
out my account was closed. She
emptied it. Said I owed her.

            DIANE
Hee Haw. Yippee tie yae tie yo.
      (pretends to hold
       suspenders)
Sounds like the makings of a
country song.
      (plugs her nose,
       looks up and
       sings)
My baby drank his self to death.

            MARTY
I sleep at the Mission. I'm
looking for a woman to take care
of me.
      (shrugs shoulders)
I crash weddings to feed myself.
Sometimes, the caterers make up
goody bags for me. They recognize
me, but don't say anything to the
parties.
      (smiles)
There's a Goth wedding at Phalen
            (MORE)

29.

MARTY (cont'd)
Lake this afternoon. Wanna go?

DIANE
Uh ... I can't. I don't have my
black lipstick with me.
(laughing)

MARTY reaches over the table to hold DIANE'S hand. She
gives him a "kill me now" look.

DIANE
(jerks away)
I need to get out of here. I have
a ton of things to get done.

DIANE goes outside. MARTY follows her.

MARTY
This is your new car? I do have a
drivers license if you'll ever let
me drive it.

DIANE
Nope.

MARTY
How 'bout giving me a ride?

DIANE
You can walk. Phalen's not far.

A FEW DAYS LATER

INT. THE CAFE' - EVENING

MARTY waits impatiently at a table. DIANE comes in a few
minutes later. Trying to greet her with a hug, she pushes
him away.

DIANE
Back off!

He steps back with both hands up.

MARTY
I'm just glad to see you.

A waitress acknowledges them.

30.

WAITRESS #2
I'll be with you in one short
minute.

She walks away, MARTY pulls the chair out for DIANE, then
sits down.

MARTY
(smiles)
I was thinking....things have been
pretty good between us lately.
Wouldn't you say?

DIANE
(shrugs shoulders)
I guess so.

MARTY
(rolls his eyes)
I'm working really hard to be a
better person. Do you want to
hear what I was thinking?

DIANE
Not really, but it can't be any
worse than the crap that's come
out of your mouth so far. Oh, let
me guess. No money and I'm buying
dinner tonight?

MARTY
No, no, dinner's on me. As I was
saying, we've been getting along
pretty well. Maybe you trust me
enough to give me your address?

DIANE
Uhm. I'll think about it. I
don't know. Every time you do one
right thing, you turn around and
do three insane things. I don't
trust you.

            MARTY
      (disappointed)
Okay, I'll wait.
      (hesitant)
DIANE, I have something to tell
you. I think my past is haunting
me.

DIANE
And there it is.

31.

MARTY
Please let me say this.

WAITRESS #2 brings water and takes orders.

MARTY
When I lived in Florida, I was
dating a Jamaican woman. She was
a bookie, I was a runner.

DIANE
A money runner? Really?

            MARTY
      (purses lips)
Why do you always interrupt me?
      (slams fist on
       table)

WAITRESS brings food to table.

MARTY
Listen! I'm afraid for my life.

DIANE
(raises eyebrows)
Afraid for your life? You want my
help? Go on.

MARTY
These guys are Abby's brothers.
They think I have something that
belongs to them.

DIANE
Again? Huh?

MARTY
They are looking for a suitcase
full of money.

DIANE
(laughs)
Me doesth thinks ye watcheth too
much TV. That's just stupid!

MARTY
They think I have it. A few days
ago I saw one of them downtown.

DIANE
(shakes her head)
Sure you did. Go on.

32.

MARTY
(folds hands)
Please, can I go to your house?
Please?

DIANE
Don't pray to me. I'm not your
God. Stop begging. I'll think
about it.

MARTY
I'm telling the truth.

DIANE
(sarcastic)
Go on with your little tale of
woes. This should be good.

MARTY
I picked up and delivered money.
(shakes his head)
Never asked questions. I brought
a bag in one night and opened the
safe. I did see a suitcase, but
didn't think anything of it. I
worked for her for two years. All
cash. I made a lot of money. Why
would I mess up a good thing?
Explain that to me.

DIANE
Just tell me why I'm here. Every
time you ask me to meet with you,
you have some crisis.

MARTY
Please DIANE! Let me go with you.

DIANE
And put me in danger? No, no, and
no! Insane thing number three.
I'm outta here.

DIANE picks up her purse and leaves. MARTY picks up the
tab, takes out his wallet.

MARTY
(to himself)
I'm short. Maybe I can catch her.

MARTY starts for the door and sees DIANE turn onto the
street.

33.

            MARTY
      (to self)
Great! I am so screwed.
      (checks pockets
       for money)
Damn. I should have told her to
eat cheap.

MARTY scans THE CAFE', looking for someone who may help him.

He approaches a table. An ELDERLY GENTLEMAN and his DAUGHTER
are eating.

MARTY
Excuse me, Sir. I am so sorry to
bother you, but I'm a few dollars
short to pay for my bill. Would
it be possible to help me?

ELDERLY GENTLEMAN
(takes out wallet)
I suppose I can. What do you
need?

The ELDERLY GENTLEMAN opens his wallet. MARTY glances down
and notices a big wad of money inside.

            MARTY
Well, I'm ashamed to say this, but
my girlfriend was treating me
tonight. She got a phone call and
had to leave. I don't get paid
for a couple days yet. I'm stuck
between a rock and a hard place. I
think $20 should cover it.
      (smiles at
       DAUGHTER)
I can pay you back. Give me your
address. I'll send it to you.

            ELDERLY GENTLEMAN
      (shakes his head)
I won't give you my address.
      (looks at MARTY)
You get paid on Friday? Meet me
here about this time on Friday and
I'll get the money from you.
      (gives him paper
       and pen)
Give me your number, name and
address. I expect you to be here.

34.

MARTY
I will be here, Sir. God bless
you.

3 DAYS LATER

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - DAY

DIANE pulls into her driveway. MARTY is sitting on the
steps. She hits the steering wheel.

DIANE
(to herself)
Damn! How'd he find me?

She gets out of the car and opens the trunk.

DIANE
What are you doing here? How'd
you find out where I live?

MARTY
Can I stay? Please?

DIANE
(ignoring his plea)
Grab the bags.

MARTY takes the three bags out and brings them inside.

DIANE
Be careful. One of those bags
have eggs in it.

MARTY
(smirks)
Breakfast in bed.

INT. DIANE'S KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE
Put the ice cream in the freezer.
I think you can figure it out.

MARTY
These are your groceries. You
should be putting them away.

DIANE
You wanna be here? Earn your keep.

35.

MARTY
(talks to himself)
The things I do for some sleep!

DIANE
Did you say something?

MARTY
(cringes)
I said I almost dropped this
thing.

DIANE
Whatever.

The groceries are put away. DIANE goes into the living
room and turns on the TV. The phone rings.

DIANE
Hello?....Yes, he is. Who's
calling, please?....Can you tell
me what this is about?....He did
what?....Hold on a sec.
(looks at MARTY)
What happened at the THE CAFE'?
This woman says you owe her dad 20
bucks.

            MARTY
      (V8 slap on
       forehead)
Oh, hell no! I didn't think she'd
really call. Tell her I'll pay
him today.

DIANE bites her top lip and gives the phone to MARTY.

DIANE
Talk to her.

MARTY
(raises his voice)
You can handle it!

DIANE
Really? Not my call, not my
problem.

MARTY
I understand. I'll be there in a
little bit....I'm terribly
sorry....It slipped my mind.

36.

He hangs up the phone, wipes his forehead, then speaks
softly to himself.

            MARTY
      (low voice)
Just stay calm.
      (deep breath)
Can I get you anything while I'm
in here?

DIANE
Get your butt in the car. You have
to meet that woman in a few
minutes. Is there nothing you
won't do for free lunch? Man up!

INT. INSIDE THE CAR - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE
Talk.

MARTY
After you left that night, I
realized I didn't have enough
money and her father offered to
pay what I didn't have. When he
opened his wallet, I saw a wad of
money and he gave me $20. His
DAUGHTER insisted I pay him back.
(slaps his lap)
Happy now?

DIANE rolls her eyes as she pulls into the parking lot at
the THE CAFE'. MARTY gets out and goes inside. DIANE stays
in the car.

MARTY GETS IN CAR - MOMENTS LATER

            MARTY
What a bitch! Hope I don't run
into her again.
      (laughing)
I'll have to stay away from this
place for a while. I think they
come here a lot.
      (rubs his eyes)
I thought you were setting me up.

            DIANE
      (stares at MARTY)
What? You are crazy! You took
advantage of a vulnerable adult.
What's wrong with you?!
            (MORE)

37.

DIANE (cont'd)
(stops car at curb)
The bus stops here. Get out.

MARTY
Seriously? You're throwing me
out?

DIANE
Get out! Go.

EXT. DIANE'S DUPLEX - LATER

DIANE hears shouting outside. She moves the curtain on the
window. MARTY is pacing, begging her to let him in. She
notices a suitcase. Motioning to him, she opens the door.

            DIANE
      (frowns)
What are you doing? Somebody's
going to call the cops. Is that
what you want?
      (points to
       suitcase)
What is that?

MARTY
Figure it out. I'm starving. Make
me something to eat.

DIANE
Figure it out? Make me something
to eat?
(walks away)
Make yourself something to
eat....and clean up after
yourself.

He sets the suitcase near the couch, goes into the kitchen
and makes a sandwich. DIANE stays in the living room.

MARTY
Happy now? I cleaned up my mess.

DIANE
I'm not unhappy. Why are you
back?

MARTY
I told you what's going on.

Diane goes into the kitchen.

38.

DIANE
You got kicked out of the Mission,
didn't you? Of course, it wasn't
anything you did. You're always
the victim.
(laughing)
So, I guess this is your hideout,
huh? I'm feeling a little Bonnie
and Clydish. Shoot 'em up, bang,
bang.

MARTY
(sarcastic)
I was asked to leave because,
well, I don't want to talk about
it. Leave it at that.

DIANE sets bedding on the couch for him and disappears
into the bedroom. She closes and locks the door behind her.

TWO MONTHS LATER

EXT. COUNTY FAIR ENTRANCE - AFTERNOON

MARTY and DIANE walk through the entrance as she sees a
co-worker and his wife. As DIANE walks toward them, MARTY
stares with disapproval and grabs her arm.

DIANE
What are you doing? Let go of me.

            MARTY
You're with me! I knew this was a
bad idea. Every place we go, you
know someone.
      (points to
       co-worker)
Real nice. Every time I try to
spend time with you, you want to
socialize.

MARTY grabs her arm again. He pushes DIANE to the ground.

MARTY
Look what you made me do. Why did
you make me shove you?

Several people are watching, a few run to DIANE'S rescue.

DIANE brushes the dirt off her clothing and picks up her
purse.

39.

MARTY
I'm sorry. Why did you make me
push you. It was an accident. You
know it was, right? Why are you
always so difficult? You don't
have to talk to everyone you know
every time we go some place.

Leaving MARTY behind, two men escort DIANE to her car.

ONE MONTH LATER

EXT. DIANE'S DUPLEX - AFTERNOON

DIANE is checking her mail. MARTY walks up behind her.

            MARTY
      (threatening
       manner)
Weren't expect me, were you!

DIANE
Don't you have some place to go?
I'm busy.

MARTY
(pushes DIANE)
I know you missed me.

DIANE
(sarcastic)
Yep. I cry every time you leave.
I throw pity parties when you're
not by my side.

MARTY
My other girlfriends paced floors
waiting for me. I thought all
women were the same and did the
same things.

DIANE
Jerk!

DIANE turns to go upstairs. MARTY follows. ANNA pulls up
and honks the horn. JULIE is in the back seat.

            MARTY
      (yelling)
DIANE, your friend is here. I
want to talk to you.
      (points and looks
       at ANNA)
            (MORE)

40.

MARTY (cont'd)
You stay in your car. This is
none of your business.

ANNA
(sarcastic)
I wasn't planning to get out, but
you kinda talked me into it.

ANNA gets out and stands on the sidewalk.

MARTY
(puzzled look)
Where you going?

JULIE
None ya.

ANNA
(smiling to DIANE)
You ready?

DIANE nods, smiling and gets in the car and greets JULIE.
ANNA gets in and drives away.

MARTY is left behind sitting on the step.

INT. ANNA'S CAR - MOMENTS LATER

DIANE
Where's the stroller?

ANNA
In the trunk. I didn't put it
together. Marcia's hubby can do
that. Did she find out yet what
she's having?

JULIE
Hope she has a girl.

DIANE
They don't want to know. They
have one of each. They want this
one to be a surprise. But I'd like
to know. She wanted to call the
doctor to find out, then changed
her mind.

41.

ANNA
(smiles)
If she did that, she'd spoil it
for Mark.

5 WEEKS LATER

INT. DIANE'S KITCHEN - EVENING

MARTY
(sits at table)
Come here, sit down by me.

DIANE
(sits down)
What's up?

MARTY
We've been getting along really
good. I want to be in your life.
How 'bout if we move to a bigger
place. This old attic isn't
cutting it.

DIANE
It was perfect 'til you barged in.

            MARTY
      (ignoring DIANE'S
       remark)
I'm working full time and I can
help with more rent.

DIANE
I don't know. We'll see.

MARTY opens the newspaper to the housing section and hands
the paper to her.

MARTY
(points to ad)
I want this house. has a nice
yard and fenced in. Let's go look
at it. Even has a garage.

DIANE
YOU want ME to buy YOU a house????

42.

MARTY
Come on, DIANE. I could use the
garage for my business. I can get
back on my feet. Come on, think
about it.

            DIANE
      (surprised by
       statement)
Your business? What the hell? You
don't even own a hammer.

            MARTY
      (slams fist on
       table)
Why do you always bust my bubble?
I got it all figured out. When we
take the loan out for the house,
we take a few grand more for me.

DIANE
(deep breath)
There it is! You are a real piece
of work.

MARTY
Look. I got it figured out. We
tell the owner we need $3,000 more
than he's asking. The bank gives
him the money and he gives it to
us. Who's the wiser?

DIANE
No!

MARTY
Now listen. I get everything I
need with your credit cards and I
pay you when that owner gives me
the money. Easy.

DIANE
(rolls her eyes)
I said "no"!

MARTY
(sternly speaks)
It'll work. I'll make it work!
Besides, my name will be on house,
so how can you lose?

43.

DIANE
(deep breath)
No! I won't do it. No! No! NO!

MARTY shakes his fist at DIANE and goes in the living room.

            MARTY (VO)
      (pouting)
You better watch yourself. One of
these days I WILL punch you! You
never want me to have anything.
This isn't about you, it's about
me. All you have to do is go along
with it.
      (walks back to
       DIANE)
I told you! I always get what I
want.
      (points finger in
       DIANE'S face)
You're going to make sure I get
what I want!

DIANE
I'm not going to jail for you! Get
away from me!

MARTY (OS)
What about me? I'm not done
talking to you.

MARTY walks into the kitchen, stands away from DIANE. He
shakes his fist at her again.

DIANE
What the hell do you think you're
trying to prove? Put that thing
in your pocket. Get out of my
home!

DIANE goes into her bedroom locking the door behind her.

EARLY THE NEXT MORNING

MARTY wakes up looking at his watch. 5 a.m.

MARTY
(to himself)
I feel like I ran into a Mac
truck. Maybe there's Tylenol in
the medicine chest.

44.

Walking through the kitchen, he notices DIANE'S purse on a
kitchen chair. As he reaches for to it, DIANE comes out of
the bedroom.

DIANE
Not a good idea.

MARTY
(turns his head)
You startled me!

DIANE
I don't snoop through your things.
Don't snoop through mine.

MARTY
(ignores DIANE)
Didn't sleep very well, I have a
headache.

            DIANE
      (pours a cup of
       coffee)
Sorry to hear that. I have to get
ready for work.

MARTY
What does that mean? I should be
getting ready for work too? I'm
not going in today.

DIANE
There it is! You get fired again?

MARTY
Yep.

DIANE LEAVES AND CALLS ANNA FROM HER CELL.

ANNA
Hello?....Good morning....No, I'm
getting ready to leave....Just
putting a lunch together....Now
what did he do?....He wants you to
buy a house so he has a place to
live. Wow.....Oh, no! DIANE, what
you do is your business, but I
wouldn't put his name on the
anything....You gotta be kidding!
I wouldn't spend a dime on that
loser. Like I said, it's your
business. Be careful. Is he at
work?....Again?....Okay, I'll let
you go?....Alright, call me
(MORE)

45.

ANNA (cont'd)
later....Bye.

MARTY is at the window watching DIANE drive away.

MARTY
(to himself)
That house will be MINE.

He picks up yesterday's newspaper and sits on the couch.

MARTY
(to himself)
Hey, look at this. Sears is
having a big sale on tools.

ONE WEEK LATER

EXT. HOUSE FOR SALE - AFTERNOON

MARTY and DIANE park in front of the house for sale. TONY,
the little boy next door is playing in his yard. He runs to
the fence.

TONY
Are you going live here?

DIANE
I'm just looking around. Maybe.

TONY
I'm Tony Baloney. This is my
little sister - she's 5, and I'm 7
and this is my house.

DIANE
Nice to meet you Tony Baloney.
Right now I have to look at this
house. You go play and have fun.

TONY throws the ball to his sister.

DIANE and MARTY go inside. They are in the kitchen.

            JERRY
      (shakes their
       hands)
Nice to meet you. Look around. If
you have any questions, let me
know.

46.

            DIANE
I like the big kitchen and I love
the yard. I want to see the rest
of the house again.
      (tugs on MARTY'S
       sleeve)

MARTY
Why'd you pull me away? I want to
talk to him about the $3,000.

DIANE
Again .... NO! .... That's stupid!

MARTY
Don't call me stupid. I want this
house.
(grits his teeth)
At any cost! Come with me. I'm
going to talk to him.

DIANE
Don't you dare! I told you last
night ... NO! I'm leaving.
(to JERRY)
Thank you, I like your home.

MARTY follows DIANE to her car.

MARTY is pouting.

MARTY
Why'd you do that? You knew I
wanted to talk to him.

DIANE
(deep breath)
Here we go again. It's ILLEGAL! I
want no part of it! Dumb ass!

            MARTY
      (puts his head
       down)
When is it my turn? When do I get
what I want? I'm going to have
this house. It's my house.

He points his finger in DIANE'S face.

MARTY
(shouts)
I will make sure you buy it for
me!

47.

DIANE
Rub a Jeannie lamp and make three
wishes.

MARTY
You're funny today.

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - LATER

DIANE pulls in the driveway and pops the trunk.

MARTY takes everything they bought out of the trunk. He is
smiling like a Cheshire cat.

DIANE
(picks up one bag)
The rest are yours. Make sure you
close the trunk.

INT. APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

DIANE takes the phone into the bedroom and locks the door.

DIANE
Busy?....Can't talk long....We
looked at the house today....Let's
go some place for coffee....Ok,
I'll meet you there. Bye.

MARTY
(yells)
DIANE, DIANE, I need your help.

DIANE
There's no help for you.

MARTY struggles through the door, DIANE laughs. He puts
everything on the floor and begins to tear into the boxes.

MARTY
Where do you want me to store
these tools?

            DIANE
      (shrugs her
       shoulders)
See you later.
      (walks out the
       door)

48.

INT. THE PIZZA JOINT - LATER

DIANE and ANNA get to the PIZZA JOINT at the same time. The
restaurant is crowded.

JULIE
(points)
There's a booth. We got here in
the time of nick.

DIANE
(chuckles)
Time of nick?

ANNA
Yeah, she and her friends are into
talking hass aff backwards.

DIANE
(to JULIE)
Well, okay then. Let's go sit
down. Want to split a pizza?

JULIE
(smiling)
Yep. You know mom. She'll only
eat one slice. We get the rest.

Diane does a Thumbs Up

ANNA
So tell me about that house.

DIANE
It's small. One bedroom. But the
plus is a washer and dryer come
with it. The kitchen is real big,
nice bay window. Nice yard with a
fence and a garage. MARTY thinks
he's taking over the garage.

ANNA
Man cave. Put a cot out there for
him, too. You're not putting him
on the loan, are you?

DIANE
No, no. I'm going to the bank
tomorrow. I don't want him to
know what I'm doing until
everything is in place.

49.

ANNA
(laughing)
He won't hear it from me.

DIANE
I got my phone bill yesterday.
$560.00.

ANNA
Do you have it with you?

            DIANE
      (reaches in her
       purse)
Here you go.
      (hands bill to
       ANNA)
What the hell? They're all to
Florida and Arizona. HMMM. Let's
find out.

ANNA takes her cell phone out and dials the Florida number.

ANNA
Hello, please don't hang up. Do
you know a man by the name of
MARTY? I'm in Minnesota and....no,
nothing like that, he's just fine.
I have a phone bill with your
number on it several times. In
fact, over $500.00 worth of
calls....Ex wife? ....Damn! Do
you have kids with him?....3
kids....I guess you do want your
child support. He's at 1054 Payne
Avenue, St. Paul, 55106. He told
me he got run out of Florida by
some Jamaicans....Sorry to bother
you and thank you.....Oh, no, I
won't say anything to him about
this call. Bye, now.
(hangs up)
That's his ex wife and he's
running from Child Support. In
Florida they put you in jail. Dumb
ass is running from the law.

            DIANE
      (grits teeth and
       sighs)
At least I know. Try that Arizona
number.

50.

            ANNA
      (dials the Arizona
       number)
Hello....I'm calling from
Minnesota....Yes....Well, he's
been making calls to you from my
home phone number and my bill is
quite high....I'm just wondering
how you know him....He's your ex
husband? Are wife number 1 or
wife number 2?....Damn! Can I ask
why he calls you so often?....You
gotta be kidding!....Do you have
kids with him?....You're the lucky
one....Don't bother, I'm having my
phone shut off tomorrow morning.
If he calls you before it's turned
off, please don't pick up. He's
costing me a lot of money....I
see, thank you. I won't bother
you anymore, and again, thank you
for the info.
      (hangs up)
She's wife #4. Doesn't know where
2 and 3 are. No kids. He keeps
calling her for money. She just
wired him $1,000.00 this morning.

DIANE
$1,000? What the fuck! I knew
he's been lying to me. He's good,
I'll give him that. I'm going to
take the phone in the bedroom
tonight. He won't call anyone
else on my dime. I'm going to find
out where that money is. I just
spent over $400.00 on him today at
Sears.

ANNA
(eyes wide open)
You have the receipts? Bring
everything back. He has to leave
the house sometime.

DIANE
I bet he got that money from the
ex in Arizona to pay the ex in
Florida. He's going to tell me he
has no money. Bet me.

51.

ANNA
Imagine his surprise when he can't
find the phone. That'll really
get his dumb ass pouting.

DIANE
(smiing)
Yep. He's gonna be pissed.

            JULIE
      (rubs hands
       together)
And the plot thickens.

ANNA
Eggplant for brains.

DIANE
I'll be damned! I'm going to try
to put up with him until he pays
me back. Won't be easy, but I
think I can handle it. I'm sure
going to try.

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - LATER

DIANE sits in her car, thinking of a way to handle the news
MARTY'S ex wives told ANNA.

DIANE
(to herself)
Got it. Surprise attack.

INT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS

DIANE opens the door, slams it shut behind her and looks at
MARTY.

DIANE
Stand up.

MARTY
(stands)
Why, what's up?

DIANE
Give me your wallet.

MARTY
What? Why?

52.

DIANE
Just give me your damned wallet.

MARTY
No.

DIANE steps behind him and pulls his wallet out of his
pocket. She turns it upside down. Money falls out of it.
MARTY reaches down to pick it up. DIANE steps on it.

            DIANE
Don't you dare!
      (she picks up
       money)
Don't move. Good, $1,000.00. Now
we're even.

MARTY
Even?

MARTY sits down and rubs his face. DIANE throws the phone
bill at him. She puts the money in her pocket, moves the
end table and unplugs the phone.

MARTY
(shouts)
What am I suppose to do for money?

DIANE
(in living room)
Ask wife number 4.

FOUR WEEKS LATER - MOVING DAY

ANNA and JULIE are at DIANE'S apartment helping her pack and
get things out to the cars and trailer. MARTY is standing
outside.

ANNA
I'll call MARTY in here to help
with the couch.

DIANE
Leave him out there. We can
handle it. I don't want him to
feel like I owe him anything.

ANNA
Okay. JULIE, can you be our
guide?

MARTY stands by the trailer watching the two women struggle
with the couch.

53.

DIANE
(to ANNA)
Set down your end. I'm losing my
grip.

JULIE
Hey MARTY, can you give DIANE a
hand? She's getting tired.

            MARTY
      (shakes his head)
I'm suppose to watch the trailer.
She's doing just fine.
      (mouths to JULIE)
Bitch.

JULIE
(shouts to MARTY)
Bitch you. Butt Lick.

ANNA turns and walks to MARTY. She pushes him to the side
of the car.

            ANNA
      (points finger in
       MARTY'S face)
You might get away with your
bullying and abuse with her.
      (points to DIANE)
But I'll be damned if you are
going to bully my kid or me. Just
who do you think you are? You
useless waste of space.

ANNA goes back to DIANE and the couch.

            DIANE
      (to MARTY)
Make yourself useful. Take that
load to the house.
      (to ANNA)
I want to get him out of here
before his temper flairs.

ANNA
Lock everything up. Let's walk
down to Magnolia's and eat. Poor
JULIE thinks she's going to
deteriorate. My treat. We can
finish when we get back. There's
only few boxes upstairs.

54.

DIANE
Be right back. I have to lock the
door.

EXT. DIANE'S NEW HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

MARTY backs the car and trailer into the garage. He
unhitches the trailer and closes the door.

            MARTY
Fuck this. I ain't unloading this
alone.
      (gets back in the
       car)

EXT. DIANE'S APARTMENT - LATER

MARTY pull up without the trailer. He opens the door and a
puppy jumps out with him.

DIANE
Where'd you get the dog?

MARTY
When I stopped he jumped in. I
couldn't find his owner and he
wouldn't get out.

DIANE
(looks at JULIE)
Want a dog?

JULIE
Nope.

DIANE
(talking to MARTY)
He "jumped" in the car. Take him
back.

MARTY
A new dog to go with the new
house.

ANNA
Bet the dumb ass stole him.

DIANE
Bet he did, too. Nothing left
upstairs. Let's get this stuff
over there.

55.

INT. KITCEN IN THE NEW HOUSE - EVENING

DIANE
(to MARTY)
We have to get it back to U-Haul.
Do something with that dog.

            MARTY
I got the dog for you. Don't you
think he's cute?
      (holding his
       stomach)
How 'bout starting dinner. I'm
starved.

            JULIE
We ate at Magnolia's and I had a
hot roast beef sandwich.
      (rubs her stomach)
And it was MMM MMM good!
      (turns to ANNA)
Can I get the Oreos out of the
car? Please, Mom, O R E O S, YUM.

MARTY
What am I suppose to eat?

DIANE
Your dog just peed on the floor.
Clean it up.

ANNA and DIANE are unpacking the boxes and put everything
away. JULIE takes the puppy for a walk and MARTY is hooking
the trailer to the car.

THREE MONTH LATER

EXT. DIANE'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON

SALLY grabs the mail as she goes inside.

            DIANE
      (to herself)
What the hell is this?
      (opens the
       envelope)
Past due disconnection notice.
This is interesting.
      (shouts)
MARTY? MARTY, get you ass over
here.

56.

MARTY walks out of the garage.

MARTY
What's up?

ANNA throws the phone bill at him.

DIANE
Explain this ..... and it better
be good. I don't need a house
phone, I have my cell.

MARTY
I need a phone for my business.
How can I get it started without
one?

DIANE
You don't have a business! A
$1,300 disconnection notice? I
did not authorize this. You put
it in my name????

MARTY
I had to show proof you live here,
so I showed your loan papers for
this place.

DIANE
I'll solve this problem right now.
You sleezy bastard. Where are the
other phone bills?

MARTY
I got rid of them.

DIANE
I should press charges against you
for fraud and theft. You are NOT
getting away with this. I just
started thinking you're taking
responsibility and flying right.
Shocker, isn't it? Get away from
me. $1,300.00 worth of get away
from me.

INT. DIANE'S KITCHEN - NIGHT

DIANE is cleaning up her supper dishes. MARTY comes in.

MARTY
What's for supper?

57.

DIANE
I baked you some air biscuits.
They're in the oven. The bat
wings and chicken lips are on top
of the stove.

MARTY walks to the stove. He opens the oven door.

            MARTY
      (looks around the
       kitchen)
There's nothing here.

DIANE
You don't have time to eat,
anyway. I have all the receipts
for those tools. Put them in the
car. I'm returning them tomorrow.

MARTY
(whines)
You can't do that.

DIANE
$1,300.00 bill, illegally using my
name. You have one week to find a
home for that dog. You can't keep
him in the house and it's going to
be too cold to keep him in the
garage. Find him a good home NOW!

MARTY
(whining)
But I love him.

            DIANE
Whiner. If I wanted a whiner, I'd
have a baby. It's either the dog
or you.
      (walks out of the
       kitchen)

MARTY finds recipe cards. He begins writing:

FREE TO GOOD HOME. PUPPY - MIXED BREED - LIKES EVERYONE.
CALL 555-5984 FOR MORE INFO. ASK FOR MARTY

He puts the cards next to the coffee pot.

MARTY
(to himself)
Hope this makes her happy.

58.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

MARTY is sitting at the kitchen table. DIANE reaches for the
coffee pot, sees the cards, picks them up and throws them at
MARTY.

MARTY
Aren't you going to say anything?

DIANE
(sips the coffee)
Nope.

MARTY
It's like that huh? S'pose I
better get these notices out. I
really do want to keep him though.

DIANE
Yup.

MARTY grabs his jacket, puts the cards in his pocket and
leaves.

DIANE calls ANNA.

As soon as MARTY leaves, DIANE calls to ANNA.

ANNA
Hello?

DIANE
Hi, will you do me a favor?

ANNA
I most certainly probably will.
Whatcha need?

DIANE
Call MARTY tonight and ask him
about the dog. I want to hear
what he says about him.

ANNA
Okay, yeah, I can do that. But
find out where he put the ads. He
might ask where I saw the it.

DIANE
I'll ask him, then I'll check on
it to make sure. I'll let you
know.

59.

ANNA
Okay. You don't think he'll
recognize my voice?

DIANE
Naw, he's too into himself to
think about it. I'm going to hang
up before he comes back. Gonna
hop in the shower.

ANNA
K. Talk to you after work.

INT. LATER THAT DAY - EVENING

DIANE and MARTY are in the living room watching TV when the
phone rings.

DIANE
Hello?

ANNA
Can you talk?

DIANE
No I can't. You want to talk to
MARTY. He can tell you more than
I can. Hold on.

MARTY takes the phone, walks to the kitchen and sits down at
the table.

DIANE turns the volume down for the TV and cocks her head to
towards him.

MARTY
This is MARTY. Can I help you?

ANNA
Yes, I think so. I was in a store
today and saw an ad for a dog on
the bulletin board. Am I calling
the right number? The penmanship
isn't very clear.

MARTY
(excited)
Yes, yes, that me. What would you
like to know?

60.

ANNA
I'm looking for a dog for my
father. He's disabled and needs a
companion. I've been looking for
several months.

MARTY
He's good with people and he is
potty trained. He's never had an
accident in the house.

ANNA
That's wonderful. By the way,
does the dog have a name?

MARTY
His name is Chester. I've had him
since he was 6 weeks. He's very
social. My schedule has changed
drastically. I can't give him the
attention he needs. I only want
what's best for him.

ANNA
Is Chester up to date on his
vaccines? I'll need his medical
records. Can you get those for me?

MARTY
Oh, yes! I have all his records.

DIANE
(to herself)
Lying already. Dip shit.

ANNA
Is he neutered?

MARTY
No, I haven't gotten around to
that yet.

ANNA
Wonderful. You did say he's a
purebred, right?

MARTY
Yes, yes, he's a purebred.
Spaniel.

DIANE
A purebred what? You're a
purebred liar.

61.

ANNA
Perfect. I know dad will give him
a good home. When can I to see
him?

MARTY
Any time is good. Just call me to
make sure I'm here.

ANNA
Great. Tomorrow or the next day.
It's going to depend on my
schedule. I won't know until I
talk to my secretary in the
morning. I'll call to confirm a
time.

MARTY
If I'm not here, you can tell my
fiancee' By the way, can I get
your name?

ANNA
I'm sorry MARTY, I need to put you
on hold. I have a million dollar
call holding from Japan. I've been
waiting for this call for few
days. Hold on, please.

            MARTY
      (surprised by
       "Japan")
Sure, go ahead, I'll wait.

MARTY puts his hand over the phone.

MARTY
(excited)
DIANE! This lady is rich. She's
talking to someone in Japan. She
said it's a million dollar call.

DIANE nods and smiles.

MOMENTS LATER

ANNA
MARTY?

MARTY
Yes, I'm here.

62.

ANNA
My name is SAHARA BURTONMEYERS.

MARTY
SAHARA? That's an unusual name.
Can I ask how you got your name?

ANNA
I can tell you about it when we
meet.

Anna hangs up before MARTY can say another word.

MARTY brings the phone into the living room. He puts on his
shoes and coat to go to the garage and check on the dog.

DIANE calls ANNA.

ANNA
Hello.

DIANE
What did you tell him?! He can't
wait for your call tomorrow.
(laughing)
Where'd you come up with SAHARA?
That's too funny.

ANNA
No idea. That's all I could think
of. Hope I don't forget it.

DIANE
He's outside with the dog. He'll
be back in a few. I'll call you
tomorrow. He's gotta leave
sometime. Later, Bye.

MARTY comes back in the house.

MARTY
Was that SAHARA? I love her name.
Sexy, don't you think?

DIANE
Yeah, real sexy. I'm going to bed.

DIANE disappears to the bedroom.

THE NEXT DAY

DIANE is looking through a magazine and drinking coffee.
MARTY walks in the house and heads for the coffee pot.

63.

DIANE
Put that cup down. Your SAHARA
called. She'll be here tomorrow.
She'll call later.

MARTY
Oh good. When the phone rings
I'll answer it.

DIANE
When you pay your share of the
bills you'll answer it. A little
demanding, aren't you?

MOMENTS LATER

The phone rings. MARTY looks at DIANE. DIANE looks at the
Caller ID, "anonymous", and walks away.

MARTY
(anxious)
Hello?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Hello MARTY.

MARTY
Yes, this must be SAHARA. I was
waiting for your call.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Listen. I need to cancel our
meeting tomorrow. I have to fly
to Oregon and from there, Mexico.
I might be gone a week or longer.

MARTY
Oh, I'm sorry. I hope everything
is okay.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
It's business. Huge deals. I
can't shrug this off for Chester,
but I do want him.

MARTY
I'm sure my girlfriend won't mind.
I'll take good care of him.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Alright.

ANNA/SAHARA hangs up the phone.

64.

ONE WEEK LATER

INT. DIANE'S LIVING ROOM - EVENING

MARTY is tearing up the living room and kitchen apart
looking for DIANE'S cell phone.

MARTY
(furious)
Where'd you hide the damn phone? I
can't find it. DIANE, where are
you? No phone, no DIANE. What
the hell?

DIANE ENTERS THE HOUSE DURING MARTY'S TANTRUM.

MARTY
(angry)
Where the hell were you? You
weren't here. You need to tell me
when you're to be away. What the
hell! I need your phone.

            DIANE
      (sarcastic)
Let's see. Here's a clue.
      (pushes grocery
       bag in his arms)
Anymore stupid questions?

MARTY
Where's the phone?

            DIANE
The phone you won't pay the bills
for?
      (points to her
       purse)
Here.

            MARTY
Give it to me. You know SAHARA is
going call.
      (pounds fist on a
       wall)
One of these days, DIANE. One of
these days.

DIANE
Zamm, Zoom, to the moon.

65.

The phone rings - MARTY lunges for DIANE'S purse. Takes a
nose dive and hits his face on the chair and bites his
tongue. He grabs the purse and sits up, with a trace of
blood on the side of his mouth.

As MARTY reaches in the purse, DIANE takes the phone out of
her pocket.

DIANE
(smirks)
Is this what you're looking for?
Dumb ass!

DIANE tosses the phone to MARTY.

MARTY
Hello?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'm sorry I missed you earlier.
You must have been at work. I
stopped by to see Chester.

MARTY
(surprised)
You did? DIANE wasn't here when I
got home.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I need you to keep Chester a
little longer. I'm flying to
France in the morning. I can't
take him and I don't have the time
to find a kennel. Could you do
that for me?

MARTY
SAHARA, that's no problem.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'll will pay you. Also, I want
to talk to you about something
else.

MARTY
Oh? Is something wrong?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I can't tell the difference from a
mutt or purebred. Do you have
papers on Chester?

66.

MARTY
Yes, I have his papers.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Well .... If you have the papers,
I'll pay you $500.00 for the him.

MARTY'S eyes are wide open.

MARTY
Really? I'll get them for you.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'll speak with you when I get
back from France. And thank you.
(hangs up)

MARTY LOOKS UP AT DIANE, BITES HIS LIP AND SMILES.

MARTY
This is what I need you to do for
me today. Call the Kennel Club
and get blank papers sent here
ASAP. Once they get here, you
need to fill them out to make it
look like Chester comes from a
long line of champions. SAHARA is
going to pay me $500 for Chester.

DIANE
(laughing)
I'll get right on that.

MARTY leaves. DIANE calls ANNA.

ANNA
Hello.

DIANE
(laughing)
Phil from work is going to pick up
Chester tomorrow. MARTY is going
to be pissed.

ANNA (VO)
Aww. That's too bad.
(hesitates)
Oh, I know what we'll do. Tomorrow
after the dog is gone you call me.
I'll call him and tell him I
changed my plans. France will
have to wait. Hee Hee

67.

DIANE
That's good. Our game, our rules.

ANNA
You're right. You know, I gotta
give us credit. It is possible to
beat a con at his own game. Hey,
I need to run to the store.

DIANE
Okay.

THE NEXT DAY

INT. DIANE'S HOUSE - AFTERNOON

MARTY goes into the garage and looks around. He quickly
runs into the house.

            MARTY
      (slams door and
       yells)
Hey, where the fuck is Chester?
What'd you do with him?
      (shakes fist at
       DIANE)
You gave him to that bratty
neighbor kid, didn't you?

DIANE
Relax. First, Tony is not a brat
and second, your precious SAHARA
picked him up. She said she'll
call you.

            MARTY
      (sits at kitchen
       table)
She was here? She took Chester?
Did she leave me any money? She
wasn't suppose to be back for a
week. What did she say? Did she
say anything money?

            DIANE
      (deep breath)
She knocked on the door, I
answered it. She introduced
herself. She asked for you. You
weren't here. She asked to see
Chester. I said 'yes'. I invited
her in for coffee. We drank it.
She put him in her car. She said
            (MORE)

68.

DIANE (cont'd)
thank you. She said she'll call
you. She left. I closed the
door.

MARTY
You had coffee with her? What did
you talk about? Did you talk
about me?

            DIANE
Of course we talked about you. You
and Chester ARE the reason she was
here. If you want to know more,
ask her.
      (walks out of
       kitchen)
Ass.

MARTY starts tapping his fingers on the table.

            MARTY
      (purses lips then
       yells)
It's your fault. All you had to
do is make one simple call. But
NO. You can't even do that.

MARTY stands in front of DIANE. He stomps his foot and
shakes his fist at her.

MARTY
(shows his palm)
$500.00 in my hand. Where is it?!

            DIANE
      (calmly moves his
       arm away)
Take it up with SAHARA. Get away
from me.

The phone rings, MARTY answers it.

MARTY
Hello SAHARA?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Yes. How did you know it was me?

MARTY
I was hoping you'd call. How are
you? I thought you went to
France.

69.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Plans changed. I'm bringing
Chester to Florida tonight.

MARTY
Oh? I was hoping we could get
together. I would love to meet
with you sometime. Call me when
you get back, okay?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'll do that. Think of a nice
place for us to go for dinner, my
treat. There's alot of nice places
on the 94 strip by the airport, if
something like that appeals to
you. Your choice.

MARTY
That's very kind of you, SAHARA.
I've always wanted to try HOTEL
SOFITEL. Thank you so much. I do
hope your father enjoys Chester.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'm sure he will. I'll call you
when I get back.
(hangs up)

As DIANE walks past MARTY, he stands up, puts his face a few
inches from her face.

            MARTY
      (smiling)
Like it, or don't like it. I am
having dinner with SARAHA. She's
taking ME to Hotel Sofitel. She's
treating ME! Bet she gives me
money. BET me?
      (backs away)
I'm going for a walk.

DIANE
(waves)
Au revoir!

As soon as MARTY closes the door, DIANE calls ANNA.

DIANE
He went for a walk, dancing on
air. Damn. He's back already.
Gotta go.

70.

MARTY is making a sandwich.

DIANE
(points to food)
Put that on your "What I Owe
DIANE" list. If you don't buy
food, you don't eat food.

MARTY
This guy just stopped me and asked
if I know anyone who does kitchen
remodeling. I told him I do.

DIANE
He stopped you? I'll bet!

MARTY
He wants me to start next week. I
need a car. I need you to co-sign
for me. When the job is done I
will pay you.

DIANE
Isn't he giving you anything down?
You need to sign a contract, get
money from him and get permits.

MARTY
Gonna sign it in the morning. Then
he's gonna give me a check. I
was counting on SARAHA'S $500 for
the down payment.
(grits his teeth)
Thanks to you! I don't know what
to do. I need a car.

DIANE
Show me the signed contract and a
check. I am not doing anything
until you prove you can pay for
it.

MARTY
(begging)
Come on DIANE. I got the paper
work right here. You know I'm good
for it. I'll get paid in a couple
weeks and can give you every dime,
and I'll still have money left
over.

71.

DIANE
I said. N....O....What part don't
you get? NO NO NO.

THE NEXT DAY

EXT. CAR LOT - DAY

MARTY and DIANE are walking around the lot looking at cars.
The CAR SALESMAN walks to them.

MARTY
(big smile)
Hi there. Remember me? I'm here
to buy that car I test drove
yesterday. You still have it,
don't you?

CAR SALESMAN
Oh, yeah, I remember you. Hold
on. I'll get the keys. I'll need
you insurance card when I come
back.

MARTY
I'll wait here.

CAR SALESMAN leaves.

MARTY
(turns to DIANE)
Give me your insurance card. I'll
use yours til I can afford my own.

DIANE
(shaking her head)
Uh, no! Find your own insurance.
I'm leaving.

MARTY
(pouts)
I don't know why you're being like
this.

DIANE
You DO know and I DON'T care.
(waves him off)

72.

INT. SALLY'S KITCHEN - LATER

MARTY walks into the house, throws his keys and paperwork on
the table.

MARTY
(upset)
I couldn't get the car because you
left. I had to take a bus home.
Thanks for that. I hope you know
I had to get full coverage. I
used part of my down payment for
it.

DIANE
Life is a real bitch, isn't it?

As DIANE stands up, MARTY grabs her arm.

            MARTY
      (shouts)
As of right now you will do
exactly as I WANT you to do. If I
say 'jump' you ask "how high".
      (puts his hand
       around DIANE'S
       throat)
Got it???

DIANE
Oh, you betcha. I got it, Sir.
Anything you say, Sir.
(salutes)

            MARTY
Now that we have that
understanding, get your ass in the
car. You are going to co-sign.
Let's go!
      (points to the
       door)

MARTY pulls a cell phone out of his pocket as he walks out
of the house.

EXT. IN FRONT OF DIANE'S HOUSE - LATER

ANNA pulls up and parks behind MARTY'S car. ANNA waits for
MARTY to leave. Watching him leave, ANNA and JULIE get out
of car.

73.

INT. DIANE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

            DIANE
Hey there. I just did something I
know I'm going to regret.
      (hesitates)
I co-signed a car loan for MARTY.
      (clears her throat)
When he got home grabbed my throat
and demanded I do everything he
wants. When he wants.

ANNA
He's got the car. Guess it's time
for him to hit the road, huh?

DIANE
Uh, I'm thinking he's got the
tools and the car. He has no
reason not to work. And better
than that. He has no reason to be
here. I really do hate him, ANNA.
He makes my skin crawl.

JULIE
EEEWWWWW. Heebie Jebbies.

TWO WEEKS LATER

INT. ANNA'S APARTMENT - DAY

DIANE is at ANNA'S apartment. They are sitting on the couch
watching TV and talking.

DIANE
I'm kicking him out tonight. I
need you to do me a big favor.

ANNA
You want me to hold the door open
for him?

DIANE
Stay in touch with him. Maybe
someday I'll get my money back. If
he could hold a job long enough, I
could sue him.

ANNA
How much does he owe you?

74.

DIANE
I'd say close to 6 grand. Probably
more if I go back to the
beginning.

ANNA
Holy shamolies. Let me think.
(thinking)
Let's see....hhhmmm....OH! I got
it. Is he home now?

DIANE
He might be. I left my phone at
home, so if it rings, he will
answer whether I want him to or
not.

ANNA dials DIANE'S number. MARTY answers.

JULIE comes in the house. DIANE motions for her to be
quiet.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Hello, MARTY? This is SAHARA
BURTONMEYERS. Do you remember me?
I know we haven't talked for a
while. Do you have a minute? I
have something to discuss with
you.

MARTY
Hi! Of course I remember! How are
Chester and your dad getting
along? I'm so glad to hear from
you.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Great. I called for a couple
reasons. First, I know I invited
you to dinner. We'll talk about
that in a minute. But, the reason
I called is very important.

MARTY
Really? Tell me.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I just got off the phone with my
CPA. Do you know what that is?

MARTY
(cocky)
Cerified Public Accountant.

75.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Yes. He informed me I have get
rid of some money. I've made too
much this year. He wants me to
invest, donate or buy an airplane.
I donate a lot to charities
already, I make money with all my
investments, and I have an
airplane. I surely don't need
another.

MARTY
(speechless)
Okay.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I would like to invest $150,000.00
to start a small business. I
started as a small business and
became ... well ... very
successful. I'm looking for
someone with a good idea and is
able to run with it. The day I
picked up Chester, Donna, no ...
that's not her name. Tell me her
name.

MARTY
DIANE. Do you ....

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Let me talk. DIANE told me you
want to get a oonstruction
business started. You have the
knowledge and talent, just not the
money. What I would like to do,
MARTY, is invest that money for
your business. Tomorrow after I
speak with my attorney, I will
call you. In the meantime, I 'd
like you to give this serious
thought.

MARTY
Okay.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'll call you tomorrow. Have a
good night.

ANNA
You think he'll go for it? He
can't be that gullible ... can he?
I sure wouldn't believe it, but
(MORE)

76.

ANNA (cont'd)
then I'm not a con man.

DIANE
The dollar signs are dripping from
his eyeballs. Maybe I should
wait another week to kick him out.
I don't think he's going to pay
me. He quit bringing groceries in.
But this is our game, therefore
our rules.

JULIE
Mom said if it sounds too good to
be true, then it's a scam. Mom,
is this a scam?

ANNA
(shrugs shoulders)
Yup.

DIANE
I'll tolerate him as long as I
can.

ANNA
No, kick him out tonight. He's
starting to get more violent. I'll
call him back.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Marty, this is SAHARA. Earlier
while we were talking, I didn't
ask you about dinner. Any ideas?

MARTY
There are so many great
restaurants. I really can't
decide.
(hesitates)
Oh, and before I forget, I want to
give you my cell phone number. I
just got it and finally figured
out the number.

ANNA writes the number down.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Thank you. I'll call you
tomorrow. Good night.
(hangs up)

77.

DIANE
I better get going.
(laughing)

DIANE leaves.

INT. DIANE AT HER HOME - MOMENTS LATER

MARTY runs to the door to greet DIANE.

            MARTY
      (very excited)
SARAHA called. She's giving me
$150,000.00. She has to get rid
of money and she's giving it to
me. She said I have to use it to
start my own business.
      (reaches for the
       sky)
Can you believe this? My stars
are aligned! I can't wait to meet
her. She's perfect.
      (points to DIANE)
I told you my fortune was near.

DIANE
(shaking her head)
It's not in your hand yet.

THE NEXT DAY

The phone rings.

MARTY
Hello?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Good afternoon, MARTY. How are
you today?

MARTY
I'm great, and you?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'm good. Say, I just want to
touch base to let you know what's
happening. I met with my attorney
this morning. What I have to
propose to you is something you
need to think about. The only way
to release this money to you is
this. Are you listening?

78.

MARTY
Yes.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Keep in mind this is coming from
my attorney and accountant. You
need to make a list of everyone
you owe money to. Credit card
companies, relatves, friends, ex
friends, customers you've done
work for, any, and every one you
can think of. Also, the dollar
amounts. Don't leave anyone out
and don't lie. Once I get that
list, I will give a copy to my
attorney.

MARTY
Can I ask why?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'm coming to that. We will then
go through the list, make phone
calls to confirm the money you
owe. Then we're going to choose
one you MUST pay in full to clear
that debt. I will then meet with
you and give you the money.
$150,000.00 cash will be in your
hand and I will walk away. BUT, I
do expect you to use every dime of
it for your business. My attorney
will be checking periodically.

MARTY
(excited)
Okay, I can do that.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
There is one more thing I need to
tell you. I have two other men in
mind for this money. One is in
medical school with a pregnant
wife. The other is a man who needs
a new electric wheel chair. He
has no resources to get one. I
told both those men to do the same
as I told you.

MARTY
(intimidated)
Okay. I'll work on the list
tonight.

79.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Good. I'll be in town for a
couple more days. Maybe I can
meet with you for dinner before I
leave. I just cannot seem to make
time for the fun things. I should
write a note to myself to have
fun.

MARTY
I moved out of DIANE'S house last
night. Can I have your telephone
number?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
(hesitates)
I will give it to you under one
condition. Do not call unless
blood is involved. I don't live
in St. Paul - I use my sister's
home as my office when I'm in
town. Her house, her rules. You
know how it is. 555-7620.

MARTY
Thank you, and the telephone
number I'll be at is 555-1544. If
LEAH answers, don't be alarmed. I
told her about you. LEAH is my
girlfriend.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Girlfriend? You told me DIANE is
your fianc�e.

MARTY
Things weren't working for us.

THE NEXT DAY

DIANE calls ANNA.

ANNA
Hello.

DIANE
I kicked Marty out last night. I'm
finally free of him.
(laughing)

ANNA
Too bad we can't warn LEAH. Gotta
get that list from him. SAHARA is
heading to her Montana ranch. You
(MORE)

80.

ANNA (cont'd)
know what? I think you just might
get your money from him.
Hopefully, LEAH is money hungry,
too.

DIANE
We'll have to see. I'm not
counting it 'til it's in my hand.

ANNA and DIANE hang up. ANNA/SAHARA calls MARTY.

LEAH
Hello?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Good evening. I'm sorry to bother
you so late. I was told this is
the number to reach MARTY. Is he
available?

LEAH
Yes, yes. Is this Sara? I mean
SAHARA? Doesn't matter, hold on.
He's in the shower. He's been
waiting for your call. He'll be
right here. Hold on.

LEAH knocks on the bathroom door. The shower is running.
Opening the door slightly, she gets MARTY'S attention.

LEAH
(sweet voice)
Honey, SAHARA is on the phone.
What would you like me to tell
her?

LEAH is outside the door and hears a loud THUD. MARTY slips
on his towel and falls. He hits his back on the outside of
the tub.

MARTY
(shouts)
Ouch. Fuck me. Fucking towel.

LEAH
What happened? You okay?

MARTY
I'm fine. The towel tripped me.
Bring me the damn phone.

81.

LEAH gives it to him. He's still sitting on the bathroom
floor.

            MARTY
      (hoping for
       sympathy)
Hello?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Hello. Did I caught you at a bad
time?

MARTY
No, not a bad time. I just
tripped over the cat.

            SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Cat? I thought I heard you say
towel.
      (trying not to
       laugh)
I called to get your list. Is it
ready? We are hoping to make a
decision. I am leaving for
Montana tomorrow morning. A few
of my mares are foaling. I want
to be there.

MARTY
(surprised)
You own horses? Really? On a
ranch in Montana? Wow! You really
are a busy woman. How many acres?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Yes, MARTY, I have a ranch in
Montana with horses.I also have a pecan orchard in
Arizona. Are you ready to give me
the list?

MARTY reads the list of names, phone numbers and amounts.

MARTY
Jim Oberson - 555-5023 -
$10,792.69
He sued me because he claims I
installed the wrong cupboards in
his kitchen.
Carol Jeppesen - 555-2910 - $62.75
JC Pennys - don't know the number
- $197.97
Lowe's - don't know the number -
$592.36
(MORE)

82.

MARTY (cont'd)
Sandy Quist - $200.00 - Sandy is
my ex-girlfriend
DIANE WILKEN - 555-2362 - $500.00
You met her when you picked up the
dog.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Yes. Very nice woman. Why do you
owe your ex girlfriends so much
money?

MARTY
(matter-of-factly)
I guess women just like giving me
money.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Okay, MARTY. Do you realize you
are over $300,000.00 in debt and
that is only half of the list?
(deep breath)
I need to be honest with you. I
have to wonder if you will be a
good fit for this money.

MARTY takes a deep breath and grabs his forehead.

MARTY
(upset)
Does this mean I'm not getting the
money?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
The list is for my attorney and
accountant. You are in the
running. I won't be making final
decision alone.

            MARTY
      (deep breath of
       relief)
Oh, good.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
(interupts)
I have a lot to do before I leave.
I'll call you when I get back.
Bye.

FIVE DAYS LATER

83.

INT. ANNA'S APARTMENT - DAY

DIANE IS AT ANNA'S APARTMENT

ANNA
I think it's time to give MARTY
the good news. Sure hope this
works.

Pours coffee in two cups - hands one to DIANE.

DIANE
(smirks)
Just remember, our game, our
rules.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
(dialing number)
Hello, is this LEAH?

LEAH
Yes?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Is MARTY available? This is
SAHARA BURTONMEYERS.

LEAH
Oh, yes. Can I ask you a
question?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
What is it?

LEAH
Well, I talked to a couple
attorneys about this money you're
giving MARTY. They told me they
would stay away from it. That you
will expect more from MARTY.

            SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
      (mouths to DIANE)
Oh, crap!
      (deep breath)
I've been doing this for many
years. I only want to see MARTY
succeed.

LEAH
Are you giving him the money?

84.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I need to speak to MARTY about
that.

LEAH gives the phone to MARTY.

MARTY
Hi, SAHARA? Did you decide yet?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
We have made our decision. I had
a very hard time convincing them
that you are deserving, but they
finally conceded.

MARTY
(reluctant)
Why?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
They want to know why you think
you deserve this money. Tell me.
Think carefully before you answer.

MARTY
I work hard, I'm good at what I do
and can make the business grow.
All I need is the opportunity and
the money to do it.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Keep in mind this was my choice.
Both men would have chosen someone
else.
(pauses)
Now for the tough part. Because I
chose you, my attorney wants you
to pay DIANE.

MARTY
(gets angry)
DIANE? DIANE! Why her?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
We met with her this morning, and
feel owe her a lot. You schemed,
lied, stole from her and
physically abused her. You used
her name for telephone service,
she co-signed a car loan. You have
never paid a dime. You also ran
up her credit cards as well as
housing and feeding you. She is
very kind hearted person.
(MORE)

85.

            SAHARA BURTONMEYERS (cont'd)
      (clears throat)
Because of you, her wages may be
garnished. She's made
arrangements with your bank and
she's working a second job because
of you.
      (stern voice)
Now, tell me, do you think that's
fair? Do you think that's right?

MARTY
Well.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Well, do you? Do I need to call
DIANE and tell her she lied?

MARTY
How much do I have to pay her?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
You owe her close to $8,000.00,
but she'll settle for $6,000.00.

            MARTY
      (surprised and
       sarcastic)
Really? I thought for sure she'd
want all of it.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Don't get too cocky with me. I'll
make you pay the full amount. You
you know I can.

MARTY
(sighing)
I know I was wrong, but I was just
trying to survive.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I'd say you were surviving quite
well. Roof over your head, warm
food in your stomach, clean
clothes, and a car.
(hesitates)
Oh, yes, all the new tools DIANE
used her credit cards for. I've
seen the proof, I know it's true.

MARTY
How long do I have to pay her?

86.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Five days from tomorrow.

MARTY
Can I use some of the money you're
going to give me to pay her?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
No MARTY, you need to prove to me
that you are worthy of
$150,000.00. If you can't come up
with it, I'm going to give the
money to the man with the pregnant
wife AND buy a new wheelchair for
the other man. Both of them ARE
worthy and they aren't nearly as
far in debt as you are.
(deep breath)
Five days. I will call you in a
few days to check on you. Do you
have any questions before I hang
up?

MARTY
LEAH has a question for you.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
Alright. Put her on.

LEAH
I guess I just want to know where
he's suppose to get this money
from.

            SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
He has five days and I don't care
as long it's legal. I'm going to
call him in a few days to see how
he's doing. I need to get going.
      (hangs up and
       looks at DIANE)
LEAH'S going to be a problem. She
stood right beside him coaching
him.

DIANE
(smiling)
Don't let her get in the way. This
is our game - our rules!

THREE DAYS LATER

87.

INT. DIANE'S HOUSE - EVENING

They are finishing supper.
JULIE is clearing the table
ANNA is washing the dishes.

DIANE
I like when you come over. I
never have to clean up.

ANNA
(smiles)

JULIE
(smiles at her MOM)
Yeah, you're a good cook. If it
doesn't come out of a can, my mom
can't cook it.

INT. LIVING ROOM - LATER

ANNA
(dials MARTY)
I think it's time to call our
victim. What do you say?

DIANE
I hope he comes through. I'm sick
to death of working 2 jobs. I'm
so tired.

JULIE
Mom, did you tell her what you
did?

ANNA
Shh, no it's a secret.

DIANE
(smiles at JULIE)
What did your mom do? Tell me, I
won't tell anyone, I promise.

JULIE
She got a part time job so she can
help you. She said she can't
stand to see you feel so sad all
the time.

DIANE
(surprised)
You did?

88.

            DIANE
It's no big deal. Only 3 nights a
week and no, you don't have to pay
me back. It'll keep the bank off
your back.
      (dials MARTY'S
       number)
Hi LEAH. Can I talk to MARTY,
please?

LEAH
Absolutely! Hold on.

MARTY
SAHARA, I have the money!

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
You do? Wonderful! Legal?

MARTY
(chuckles)
Yes.

ANNA motions for DIANE to get a pen and paper. She writes:

HE HAS $6,OOO

DIANE'S mouth drops.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I will call DIANE and set up
arrangements to meet.

MARTY
Anytime is good for me.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I will call her and get back to
you in bit. Bye.
(to DIANE)
You want to get it tonight?

DIANE
$6,000? Yeah, before the ass
changes his mind. I wonder where
he got it.

ANNA
(calls MARTY)
I just spoke with DIANE. She wants
to meet tonight at THE CAFE'. Do
you know where that is?

89.

MARTY
Yes, it's close to my home. What
time does she want to meet.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
7:30. Can you make that?

MARTY
Yes. Can I bring my girlfriend?

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I guess that would be okay. I
can't be there this evening, I'm
on the road. I will be back early
in the morning. Can you meet me at
6:00 tomorrow morning at the Hotel
Sofitel? Isn't that where you said
you want to go?

MARTY
Yes, I know where that is.

SAHARA BURTONMEYERS
I will be there myself about 6:00.
Make sure you are wearing a
decent suit. It's quite a nice
place. I'm looking forward to a
tasty French breakfast. You get
going, I'll call DIANE. I am
looking forward to meeting you.
(hangs up)

ANNA
He's bringing his girlfriend.

DIANE
Sounds like him. His new trophy.
He always needs someone to hold
his hand. I better get moving. 20
minutes before I see that moron.

INT. THE CAFE' - LATER

MARTY and LEAH are at THE CAFE' when DIANE arrives. She
nervously slides into the booth, orders a cup of coffee and
introduces herself to LEAH.

DIANE
(to MARTY)
I understand you have something
for me?

90.

MARTY
Just like that? I want you to
sign a receipt stating I paid you
everything I owe you.

DIANE
No biggie. LEAH, are you his
witness?

LEAH
(timid)
He invited me for coffee. So, yes,
I guess I am.

DIANE
LEAH, be careful. There's more to
MARTY than meets the eye.

MARTY
What does that mean?

DIANE
(smiles)
Give me the money. I'll sign the
receipt and go.

MARTY sets an envelope and receipt on the table.

DIANE counts the money, and signs the receipt. She gives
MARTY a receipt to sign also.

DIANE puts $2.00 on the table for her coffee.

            DIANE
      (stands up)
I hope everything goes okay
tomorrow.
      (turns and leaves)

THE NEXT MORNING

INT. HOTEL SOFITEL - MORNING

MARTY waits for SAHARA BURTONMEYERS.

The doors to the dining room opened. Several men and women
are going inside.

MARTY is pacing, looking at his watch.

91.

INT. ANNA'S APARTMENT - MORNING

The phone rings, ANNA looks at the Caller ID and shakes her
head.

ANNA IS SLEEPING

            ANNA
      (to herself)
Hell with this!
      (turns phone off)

(to JULIE)
Make sure you look at the caller
ID before you answer the phone.

10:00 A.M. ANNA TURNS ON THE PHONE

THE PHONE RINGS.

JULIE
Okay. Can I make French Toast?

ANNA
That does sound good, huh? Yeah,
want some help?

JULIE shakes her head.

ANNA and JULIE are at their wits end with the constant
ringing.

ANNA disguises her voice and makes herself sound as if she's
crying.

            ANNA
      (reaches for the
       phone)
Here we go.
      (sniffing)
Hello, ... Who is this? ... MARTY?
... I don't know you. ... This is
DEBRA. ... I don't know anything
about that. I was never involved
in her business. ... I have bad
news, MARTY. She was killed this
morning. ... Accident. .... No, no
alcohol. ... She was hit by a
train.
      (hangs up, looks
       at JULIE and
       sings)
I should have been in pictures.
            (MORE)

92.

ANNA (cont'd)
(laughing)
I can't wait til DIANE gets home.

JULIE
Text her.

ANNA
Oh, yeah, why didn't I think of
that. Let's eat.

2:00 P.M. SAME DAY

MARTY
(calls DEBRA)
Hello, this is MARTY again. I'm
sorry to bother you, but I have a
question. Did she leave me any
money in her will?

            DEBRA
Did you just say what I think you
did?? My sister is dead and you
want to know what's in her will.
Her body isn't even cold yet.
      (sniffing)
You'll get what you deserve.
      (hangs up)

INT. DIANE'S HOUSE - EVENING

ANNA and JULIE are at DIANE'S house enjoying a celebratory
Chinese dinner.

JULIE
Mom was good. She sounded like
she was crying and told MARTY
SAHARA was hit by a train.

A few minutes go by, they hear a car pull up.

DIANE peeks out the living room window.

DIANE
(turns off the TV)
Get JULIE in the bedroom.

ANNA
(motions to JULIE)
Come on. Be very quiet.

93.

ANNA and DIANE look out the window. MARTY is in the
passenger seat with a huge Black man in the driver's seat,
pointing a gun to MARTY'S head.

EXT. IN THE CAR - CONTINUOUS

BIG BLACK MAN
This is your last chance! You got
balls, I'll give that to you! You
call MY woman and ask for help.
SANDY begs me to help YOU. I used
my business for collateral to get
YOUR fucking money. You swore
you'd have it this morning. Where
is it, boy!?

            MARTY
      (tears pouring
       down his face)
I ... I ... I gave it to DIANE.

BIG BLACK MAN
Go get my money. NOW!

MARTY gets out of the car and walks to DIANE'S door.

She motions for ANNA and JULIE to be quiet and stay where
they are.

As she opens the door - MARTY falls to his knees.

MARTY
(crying)
Please, give me the money back. I
need it. He's going to kill me.
He's got a gun.

DIANE
(shakes her head)
You owed me money, you paid me,
we're even. What happened to all
that money SAHARA is suppose to
give you?

MARTY
I'm begging you. I waited all
morning for her. She didn't show.
She's dead.

            DIANE
      (shocking look)
Dead? Are you serious?
      (deep breath)
            (MORE)

94.

DIANE (cont'd)
The money is gone. Get out of
here before I call the cops. Man
up.

ANNA goes back to the window. The BIG BLACK MAN gets out.

With the gun at his side, he is walking to the end of
DIANE'S sidewalk, he sees MARTY on his knees. He shakes his
head and walks back to the car.

DIANE closes the door on MARTY. Still on his knees he's
pounding on her door.

She calls the police.

MOMENTS LATER

The COP walks to the door and sees MARTY on his knees. He
starts laughing.

COP
(points at MARTY)
Get up, what the matter with you?

            MARTY
      (points to the
       street)
She took my money. I need it
back. That black man over there
has a gun. He's gonna to kill me.

DIANE opens the door.

COP
(looks at DIANE)
Did you take this man's money?

DIANE
(smiling)
I most certainly did. He owed me
$6,000.00. He paid me $6,000.00.
Here's the receipt. I put the
money in the bank and paid the
bills he ran up on me.

            COP
      (checks the
       reciept)
Proof's in the pudding, Bud. Stand
up.
      (pulls MARTY to
       the boulevard)

95.

EXT. BOULEVARD IN FRONT OF SALLY'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

            MARTY
She told me if I paid DIANE she'd
give me $150,000.00.
      (points to car)
I got the money from him to pay
her back. He wants it back right
now. Make her give me the money
back.
      (starts crying)

COP
I can't make her do anything. Stay
here. I'm going to talk to him.

The COP walks to the car. He motions for him to roll down
his window.

BIG BLACK MAN
Can I help you?

COP
(points to MARTY)
Do you know that guy?

BIG BLACK MAN looks at MARTY and shakes his head.

BIG BLACK MAN
Never seen him before.

COP
What are you doing here?

BIG BLACK MAN
I'm lost. I suppose to be on
Nokomis. It's in this here map
book, but I can't figure out how
to get there.

COP
Where are you from?

            BIG BLACK MAN
      (gives business
       card to COP)
Shoreview. I'm suppose to pick up
a couple computers. If I can find
the place.

COP
If you'll wait a minute, I'll give
you directions.

96.

BIG BLACK MAN
Never mind. Think I figured it
out. I'm leaving.

Waving at the cop, the BIG BLACK MAN leaves. As he drives
away, he puts the gun to his mouth and takes a big bite from
it.

BIG BLACK MAN
MMMM. I do love me some licorice.
(wipes his mouth)

COP
(to MARTY)
That man doesn't know you. Leave,
or I'll arrest you for harassment
and trespassing.

MARTY walks down the street. The COP goes back to DIANE.

            COP
He shouldn't bother you anymore.
If he does, call me.
      (gives DIANE a
       card)

DIANE
I sure hope not.

COP
(half smiles)
Don't know what you did to get
your money, but I think he's
learned a lesson.

TWO DAYS LATER

INT. DIANE'S HOUSE - EVENING

DIANE'S phone rings. She checks the Caller ID. It's MARTY.
She lets the voice mail get it.

MARTY
Very good, kudos to you. You
deserve the Academy Award and a
standing ovation. I gotta give it
to you. You got me good. You and
your little friend, who ever she
is. Real nice. Nice job you did
on me. You think your so fucking
smart! You got your money. Happy
now? I sure hope so. I talked to
the police and the FBI. You and
(MORE)

97.

MARTY (cont'd)
your friend are going to prison.
Hope you're both very happy there.
By the way, who is SAHARA
BURTONMEYERS for real? I hope I'm
there when you get arrested. Yep,
you got me good, didn't you. Hope
your this proud when you're
sitting in jail. What the fuck!
You got your money out of me after
all. Happy n......
(time runs out)

FADE OUT.

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