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by M Gavas (laufeyson88@hotmail.co.uk)

Rated: PG-13

Genre: Drama User Review: NOT YET
RATED
A coming-of-age story of unrequited love, self-acceptance and the joy of life as a Drama student.

FADE IN:

EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - NIGHT

A car pulls up to this house which is audibly playing host
to some sort of party. SAM (19, androgynous-looking) exits
the house with a cup still in his hand. He calls back into
the house to whoever may be listening.

SAM
Until tomorrow, hoes!

Sam almost trips over a couple furiously making out on the
porch.

SAM (contd.)
Shit! I’m so sorry...

The couple glare up at him. Sam recognises them and cringes.

SAM (contd.)
Oh. It's just you.

Sam resumes walking. He heads in the direction of the
waiting car.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Sam climbs into the passenger seat next to TERRY (20,
average-looking in every way) in the driver’s. Sam doesn’t
close the door behind him, instead looking back wistfully at
the house.

TERRY
You found me this time. Gold star
for you.

SAM
House parties, man. Truly a lost
art.

TERRY
I'll take your never unreliable
word for it.

SAM
The you from two years ago would
be passionately agreeing with me.

TERRY
The Terry from two years ago would
have been passed out on either the
lawn or the sofa or both by now.

SAM
Deffo. Fun times.

Terry starts the car.

TERRY
I don't suppose you feel like
shutting that door, do you?

SAM
Not at all. But just because I
love you so much...

Sam closes the door. Terry nods at him in thanks.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

Terry’s car slowly pulls away from the kerb and drives away
from the party house.

SAM (o.s.)
Do you have any idea which way
you’re meant to be going?

TERRY
I never do.

As we follow the car driving away we fade into:

EXT. STREET - DAY

The same car driving through the suburban streets on a grey
and miserable day.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - CONTINUOUS

Terry’s car parks up in the almost full parking area in
front of the old building. A stream of students all aged
around 16-18 make their way inside.

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Sam looks the worse for wear leaning against the wall
sipping an energy drink. He doesn’t notice as Terry appears
behind him.

TERRY
How many of those Jaeger-Bombs are
you regretting this morning?

Sam raises his middle finger. They both start walking.

SAM
Don't even start. I'd be fine-ish
right now if bloody Freddie hadn't
have started blowing up my phone
trying for a drunk booty-call when
I got in. I’ve literally slept for
about twenty minutes.

TERRY
Which one’s Freddie?

SAM
Young Antonio Banderas with a
goatee.

TERRY
Sorry, you know I can't keep track
of all of them.

SAM
Yeah, don't try.

Sam pushes open a set of double doors.

INT. REHEARSAL ROOM - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Sam enter an archetypal "performance space” with
black curtains covering the windows and a basic lighting
rig. Several rows of chairs all face in one direction with a
large desk in front of them. Twenty or so students of a
similar age to Sam populate the room, all looking exhausted
already. A few of them nod or wave to Sam as he walks in and
takes a seat with Terry.

Sam yawns.

SAM
Fuck me, I thought artists were
meant to sleep until late. That’s
in the job description.

TERRY
None of us are artists quite yet.
With one notable exception.

The door slams open and a short, slight man enters: MAGNUS
WEIGHTMAN. He calls out to the class as he reaches his desk,
his voice carrying like thunder.

WEIGHTMAN
How did you spend your weekend,
Mr. Weightman? Why, I’m glad you
asked, folks. As it happens, I had
a very long, hard think followed
by an even longer, even harder
cry. If we’re going to get this
show on its feet in just seven
days, some serious fingers need to
be pulled out and kept out. Come
the after-party you can put them
wherever you like. You may or may
not be aware that the general
populace assumes that performing
arts students are nothing more
than a bunch of lazy layabouts who
only chose said educational path
because they were too inept at all
other subjects. For all our sakes,
please don’t prove those people
right.
(beat)
From where we left off on Friday.
Let’s go!

The students scatter in various directions as they prepare
to rehearse. Terry moves to sit next to Weightman's desk and
takes a file out of his bag.

WEIGHTMAN
Oh, Terry, I always hate this part
of the day.

TERRY
The early morning?

WEIGHTMAN
No, the part between getting out
of bed in the morning and going to
bed at night.

Terry chuckles and hands Weightman a few papers from within
his file.

TERRY
Never change, sir.

REHEARSAL MONTAGE

INT. REHEARSAL ROOM - DAY

A tall, red-haired female student (BECK WARREN) stands in
the performance area along with a couple of other
performers. She projects her lines with gusto, however at
the end of every sentence she pauses and surreptitiously
peers down at her hand. We just about see that clumsily
scribbled across her palms are her lines.

Watching from his desk, Weightman raises a hand, halting the
rehearsal. Beck frowns quizzically... until she notices that
on Weightman’s hand are written the words "LEARN YOUR LINES
BECK!” Sitting next to him, Terry stifles a laugh.

A sunken-eyed male student (JONATHAN) now stands in the
performance area being barked at by Weightman.

WEIGHTMAN
The word is "bequeathed”,
Jonathan. Bequeathed. Rhymes with
"seethed”. What you are saying
doesn’t sound like anything I want
in this particular production.
Again, from the top.

JONATHAN
"I am glad to have been
"be-queefed” with such an honour,
good doctor.”

Weightman rubs his temples.

A dozen or so students rehearse a movement/dance sequence.
None of the performers are in time with each other or the
music.

Another student now stands in the performance area reciting
his lines. This is KIERON BRIDGLEY; extremely conventionally
attractive – complete with impossibly styled hair – yet his
performance is completely lifeless.

KIERON
"From the first moment I saw you
sitting across the waiting room
from me, I thought that you could
be my destiny. And then the moment
you laughed and waved at me, I
knew you were.”

WEIGHTMAN
Packet of crisps, packet of
crisps, cheese and onion, salt and
vinegar.

KIERON
Huh?

WEIGHTMAN
You’re meant to be bearing your
soul to this woman, Kieron. At
least try to sound more passionate
than a middle aged plumber
ordering snacks on a Sunday
afternoon.

KIERON
Sure, sure.

Kieron clears his throat then repeats his "heartfelt speech”
with the same monotone as before.

WEIGHTMAN
(sarcastic)
Wonderful, that was just what I
want to see.

Weightman leans in closer to Terry as Kieron continues his
speech.

WEIGHTMAN
(to Terry)
In the beginning, if God had
foreseen the state of this play he
would never have created the
universe.

TERRY
Should I write that down?

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

The majority of the students we saw in the rehearsal room
are sat around tables eating, drinking and/or reciting
lines. Terry sits by himself at a table picking at a small
pot of pasta.

A FEMALE STUDENT gingerly sits opposite him. Terry looks up
to see the girl just staring at him in curiosity.

TERRY
Hi?

FEMALE STUDENT
Terry, right? Can I ask you
something?

TERRY
Why not.

The Girl leans closer to Terry and lowers her voice.

FEMALE STUDENT
Is it true Weightman asks you to
come sit near us students during
our breaks and, you know, keep
tabs on us and stuff?

TERRY
Our Director has asked me to do
some strange things before but
never that, so don’t fret.

The Girl smiles slightly but looks unconvinced as she slides
further away from Terry.

Terry shakes his head and places the rest of his lunch back
in the bag. He stands and heads for the door but is
intercepted by another girl, one we have seen previously on
stage and is rather striking with her jet black hair and
dark make-up. This is NATASHA.

NATASHA
Please, take my sex cake.

TERRY
Sorry?

NATASHA
I thought I could eat it all but I
know if I do I’m going to have the
biggest sugar crash in the middle
of the bathroom scene.

TERRY
I...am confused. What’s a-

            NATASHA
Sex cake?
      (holds out a
       half-eaten slice
       of a gooey
       chocolate cake)
So tasty that it’s undeniably
better than getting laid. You’ve
seriously never heard of it?

TERRY
Regrettably I haven’t.

NATASHA
Then take! Get back to me on your
first impression, I’ve got to go
and squeeze into that onesie.
Enjoy!

Terry stays on the spot watches as Natasha glides out of the
cafeteria. He then finally takes a bite of the cake.
Instantly his eyes widen.

TERRY
Yeah, there it is.

EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - EVENING

A collection of four identical stone-grey blocks of flats.
We close in on one of these in particular

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - CONTINUOUS

The front door opens and Terry enters the modest living
space which looks like it hasn’t been redecorated since the
80’s.

TERRY
Nanna?

We hear a voice call from one of the adjoining rooms; PATSY,
Terry’s Grandmother.

PATSY (o.s.)
You watch out, love. One of those
squirrels jumped in through the
back window and I think he's still
in here somewhere.

TERRY
Again?

PATSY
But it might be a rat, I didn’t
see properly.

TERRY
This is why we need a cat, Nanna.

Patsy appears finally in one of the doorways, holding a
slipper ready to strike any rogue squirrels or rats.

PATSY
No, no, I've been there before.
That cat just ate, slept and stunk
(Pause)
It would be like having another
teenager around here.

TERRY
I'm twenty years old, dearest. I’m
officially no longer a teenager.

Terry gives Patsy a quick peck on the cheek and proceeds to
sit on the sofa.

PATSY
You bring a nice girl home to me
and then we can say that you’re
not a teen any more.

Patsy and her slipper disappear around the doorway again.
Terry calls after her.

TERRY
I’ll do that. Then we can all go
out for dinner on the back of one
of those flying pigs.

PATSY (o.s.)
Speaking of miracles, any of those
kids learn their lines yet?

TERRY
It’s like watching baby giraffes
learn to walk but they are getting
there. Some of them are, some of
them clearly just don’t give a sh-

PATSY (o.s.)
Language, Terry!

10.

TERRY
Poop, Nanna. They just don't give
a poop.

PATSY (o.s.)
Mmm. Well they sound like a load
of lazy little fucks.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - LATER

The aftermath of a meal in front of the television, Patsy is
reclined on the sofa napping and gently snoring. On the
small coffee table in front of her are a few mostly empty
plates which Terry is in the process of stacking.

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Terry brings in the dirty dishes and begins to wash them up.
On the wall next to the sink we can see a collection of
photographs showing Terry in his younger years along with a
young woman who has a clear resemblance to him.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - DAY

Many students are seen leaving the building, indicating the
end of the working day.

INT. LIBRARY - CONTINUOUS

A compact circular space with about a dozen tall bookcases
and about as many people sat around various small desks. On
one of these just happens to be Terry, who is engrossed in
writing something inside his open file.

A familiar voice talking at a volume a little too high for a
library makes Terry look up from his work. He peers over his
shoulder to see Natasha standing at the Librarian’s desk
talking to a LIBRARIAN who clearly hates her job.

NATASHA
Sorry, I don’t remember who it’s
by either. Something beginning
with "L” I think? I do know what
the front cover looks like, it’s
an extreme close-up of a bald dude
with a mole and a lazy left eye.
Does that narrow it down?

11.

LIBRARIAN
Exponentially.

Terry swiftly rises from his seat and approaches the
librarian’s desk.

TERRY
She should be asking for The Art
of the Stage I believe. I hope.

NATASHA
Thank you! That’s the one-

Natasha turns round to see who the helpful stranger is. Upon
seeing Terry her face brightens.

            NATASHA
Sex Cake Boy!
      (notices Librarian
       glaring)
Sorry, inside voice now.

LIBRARIAN
I’ll be right back with your "bald
dude with a mole and a lazy left
eye” book.

Terry and Natasha smile awkwardly at the Librarian as she
wanders off in search of the book.

TERRY
Making a head-start on coursework,
I take it?

NATASHA
Yup. Anyone who says that being a
drama student is all just prancing
about on stage with no painful
essays deserves to be smacked in
whatever body part would hurt them
the most.

TERRY
Yes, that is one stereotype that
desperately needs to die.

NATASHA
Or be chopped to pieces with a
rusty chainsaw in front of
everyone it cares about.
(beat)
Too dark?

12.

TERRY
Not at all.

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - AFTERNOON

Terry and Natasha walk down a corridor now mostly devoid of
life. Their conversation hasn’t seemed to slow.

TERRY
I’ve been meaning to ask – and
don’t take this the wrong way – is
there a reason why I’ve never seen
you before the start of this term?

NATASHA
Yeah. I’m a ghost, obviously.

TERRY
Obviously. The Casper type or the
Gozer the Gozerian type?

NATASHA
Depends on whether or not I’ve had
caffeine yet.
(beat)
You ever hear of this posh-twat
college called Royal Mangosteen
School of Performance?

TERRY
I have.

NATASHA
So I started there last year and
thoroughly hated it. Turns out
they hated me just as much so I
very gladly dropped out and just
happened to find a certain other
college which was running the
exact same course. And thank
Beelzebub there was a spare place
going on their second year. And
voila, here I am.

TERRY
I see. Is this certain other
college an improvement?

NATASHA
Absolutely. I only have a
stress-cry once a week now.

13.

TERRY
You know, I used to be a student
here.

NATASHA
I know.

TERRY
You do?

NATASHA
Everyone does.
(beat)
Maybe not everyone but enough
people for me to use "everyone” as
hyperbole.

TERRY
This is some amazing new
information to me. I would ask
what else people say about me but
I’m not entirely sure I want to
know.

NATASHA
Honestly, the amount of bullshit
that comes out of most people’s
mouths here means there are
probably at least three idiots
that are going around saying that
you’re secretly half alpaca.

TERRY
Truly, drama students never
change.

NATASHA
You know, I do remember you.
Student you.

TERRY
How? Ghost powers?

NATASHA
I came here on one of those open
days and we all got to watch your
year’s dress rehearsal. Midsummer
Night’s Dream. You were totally up
there playing Peter Quince.

TERRY
I’m actually touched. I guess I
must have been memorable, then,
which means it was either very
(MORE)

14.

TERRY (cont'd)
good or very bad.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Natasha exit the building and stop walking just a
few paces away from the doors.

NATASHA
And I may even tell you which one
of those it was if you’re good.
Just not right now because I
definitely need to run.

TERRY
You're going to leave me in
suspense like that?

NATASHA
Well then maybe if you're good we
can continue this conversation
later.

TERRY
Cool. Later as in at rehearsals on
Thursday?

NATASHA
Later as in tonight.

Natasha holds out her hand for a few beats. Terry
misinterprets the gesture and shakes the hand. Natasha
laughs.

NATASHA (contd.)
No! Pass me your phone, you butt.

TERRY
I knew that.

Terry sheepishly reaches into his pocket and retrieves his
phone, handing it to Natasha. She begins to input her
number.

NATASHA
Maybe wait until like eight,
half-eight if you want to call. My
Mum is dead-set on me making tacos
tonight and, believe me, that
always leaves a nightmare of a
clean-up job.

15.

TERRY
A messy food indeed.

NATASHA
But completely worth it. Here!

Natasha hands Terry back his phone.

NATASHA (contd.)
See you soon, Sex Cake Boy.

TERRY
Right back at you, Ghost Girl.

NATASHA
(points to self)
Natasha, actually.

TERRY
(points to self)
Terry. Get home safe.

NATASHA
Thanks! I’ll try not to die again.

Terry glances down and sees she has saved her number in it.

TERRY
You know, if you need a ride I
actually do have a-

Terry looks up but sees that Natasha has already walked too
far away to hear him. She heads in the direction of a
waiting car and climbs into the passenger seat. We recognise
the girl in the driver seat as Beck, the girl who has a
penchant for reading her lines off her hands.

Terry watches as this car drives away. He walks in the
opposite direction.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

A rather cramped space that is in desperate need of a proper
tidy. Terry sits on the bed reading from a script while Sam
paces, reciting his lines from that same text.

SAM
"Better to risk everything than to
just settle for a life filled with
darkness and desperation.”

16.

TERRY
Desolation. Not desperation.

SAM
What's the difference?

TERRY
One word is in the script, one
isn’t.

SAM
Details, details. You ever notice
how that the way this play is
written is kind of shit?

TERRY
It’s an acquired taste.

SAM
No, I am an acquired taste. This
is just shit. I just feel sorry
for you having to sit through it
all twenty times.

TERRY
Last year I had to watch that lot
murder Pinter over and over again.
I got through that, I can get
through anything.

            SAM
Last year was an interesting time.
      (beat. Sam notices
       something on
       Terry’s bedside
       table)
Speaking of which, here’s a cray
question...

TERRY
Oh, God.

SAM
Why do you still have pictures of
Olivia lying around?

TERRY
I don't.

Sam grabs a book from the bedside desk. He tips it and a
bundle of photographs fall out. Terry barely reacts.

17.

TERRY (contd.)
Oh, those old things.

Terry reaches out to take the photos back but Sam grabs them
and inspects them with distaste. We see that the photos all
show a younger Terry in various embraces with an attractive
girl of the same age, obviously his ex-girlfriend.

SAM
This is just sad, darling.

TERRY
It most definitely is. But can
anyone blame me for wanting to be
reminded of a time when I thought
that someone could look past the
fact that I had the animal
magnetism of a bowl of cold
porridge?

SAM
Lots of people like cold porridge.

TERRY
Name one.

SAM
I know a lot of people, I'm sure
at least one of them does.

TERRY
You do more than just know a lot
of people, Sam.

Sam raises an eyebrow and then throws the photos across the
room.

SAM
And yes I know you’re going to
just pick those up later.

TERRY
I'll wait until you leave if that
makes you feel better.
(beat)
Can we try and lay off this lost
cause and maybe try and focus on a
slightly more pressing matter?

Terry picks up the script again. Sam groans.

18.

            TERRY
      (reading from
       script)
"This is a fool’s errand, Antoine.
I shan’t be here to pick up the
pieces again. Now hand me that
damn scalpel.”

SAM
Seriously, fuck this play.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Much later on that same night. Terry lies on his bed with
his phone on his chest. Eventually he picks it up and types
out a message:

"WOULD IT BE COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE IF I WERE TO ASK YOU
WHAT YOUR PLANS ARE TOMORROW AFTERNOON?”

He sends it to Natasha. A few mere seconds later he gets a
reply from her:

"ABSOLUTELY OUT OF LINE. I ALWAYS KNEW YOU WERE A WRONG-UN.”

Terry laughs. His phone buzzes again as he receives another
message from Natasha:

"BUT I HAVE BEEN TASKED WITH TAKING A TRIP TO THE FARMER’S
MARKET AND I MIGHT APPRECIATE A WRONG-UN’S COMPANY.”

Terry hesitates, then types and sends his reply:

"I PROMISE TO BEHAVE MYSELF.”

And one last reply from Natasha:

"YOUR PROMISES MEAN NOTHING!”

INT. TERRY'S CAR - DAY

Terry sits behind the wheel trying to not look as on-edge as
he is feeling as he drives.

EXT. FARMERS MARKET - DAY

Terry leans against his car looking out amongst the stream
of foot-traffic for Natasha. A small group of teens pass in
front of him and after they do Terry spots her standing on
the opposite side of the street, almost as if she had been

19.

there all the time.

Natasha waves to Terry. Terry waves back. They both walk
towards one another.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - EVENING

Patsy sits on the sofa looking miserable. Terry brings her a
large mug of tea and sits opposite.

TERRY
I know that look, Nanna. I
perfected that look.

PATSY
Oh, you mean this look of
dejection? I’ve no idea why that
is there. I’m definitely not upset
that my Grandson had his first
date in nearly a year yet didn’t
think to tell me. I don’t feel
like I’ve been kicked off the
team, not at all.

TERRY
Nanna! It wasn’t a proper date.

Patsy begrudgingly picks up her tea.

PATSY
Oh, an improper date?

TERRY
A completely platonic date. A
"plate”, one might say.

PATSY
No one might say that.

TERRY
All we did was have a nosey round
the market admiring all the smells
and then looking for a very
specific kind of mushroom that her
Mum needs to stick in her Baba
Ghanoush.

PATSY
In her what?!

TERRY
It’s a dish, Nanna.

20.

PATSY
Hmm. Well that doesn’t sound very
romantic but what the hell do I
know about kids these days?

TERRY
You see? Completely one hundred
percent just-friends vegetable
shopping.

PATSY
Mushrooms aren’t vegetables.
(beat)
Do you like her?

TERRY
She’s a nice girl, yeah.

PATSY
Okay. But do you like her?

Terry chuckles.

TERRY
Trust me, Nanna, I’m not going to
fall blindly and stupidly in love
with her or anything like that.

INT. TOY SHOP - DAY

An extreme close-up of Terry and Natasha standing with their
faces mere inches apart, almost as if they were about to
kiss.

TERRY
Are you sure you’re ready?

NATASHA
So ready.

TERRY
It isn’t too late to back out now,
I swear I won’t-

NATASHA
Zip it, let's go.

The two turn their backs on each other and pace in opposite
direction and we pull back to see that the pair are in fact
playing a "pistols at dawn” scenario in the middle of the
toy shop with a pair of toy guns.

21.

In unison, they both turn and start firing at each other.
Other shoppers look on incredulously at the "firefight”.

Natasha runs for cover in an empty aisle and crouches behind
a stack of dolls. After a few seconds she hears a cry of
anguish from Terry.

TERRY (o.s.)
Oh, no!

Natasha, concerned, emerges from her hiding place to follow
Terry’s voice. She finds him on his knees in front of a
display of toy robots, looking horrified.

TERRY (contd.)
Oh, Mechanizer, what have they
done to you?

NATASHA
Um...okay?

TERRY
You don’t understand, Mechanizer
has always transformed into a
tank. Now look, he’s been turned
into a Segway! RIP my childhood.

NATASHA
Aw, that’s just too bad. I win, by
the way.

Natasha fires her toy gun and the foam bullet hits Terry
right in the back of the head. A SECURITY GUARD immediately
charges up to the pair.

TERRY
Cheap shot.

SECURITY GUARD
Excuse me, madam! This behaviour
is not-

NATASHA
Yeah, yeah. We’re leaving now.
Here!

Natasha hands the Guard the toy guns then starts dragging
Terry away from the display.

NATASHA
Let's go, soldier.

22.

TERRY
You’ll always be a tank to me,
man.

EXT. TRAIN STATION - EVENING

A small crowd are gathered around a young BUSKER playing on
a ukulele. Towards the back of this crowd we see Terry and
Natasha, looking somewhat impressed by the Busker’s
performance. Natasha displays zero self-consciousness and
begins to dance to the song. She indicates for Terry to join
in and after some hesitation he does so, albeit much more
awkwardly than her.

EXT. COURTYARD - NIGHT

Terry and Natasha sit on some stone steps leading up to a
large fountain in the middle of the piazza which is lit up
with a small army of attractive lights. Both friends sip
from large paper coffee cups.

NATASHA
You ever notice that Weightman
always has that one gigantic cup
of coffee that he constantly sips
from yet always seems to stay
full?

TERRY
There is very rarely just coffee
in there, by the way.

NATASHA
Really?

TERRY
Really.
(beat)
Oh, shit, he’s not my teacher
anymore. I have to be civil to him
now and that includes not making
catty remarks to current students.

NATASHA
I have an inkling that he's not
any less of a irritable
cock-womble as a work boss than he
is as a teacher.

TERRY
Don't be mean, child.

23.

NATASHA
I’ve been genuinely curious about
this, how exactly does one secure
a job as Weightman’s right-hand
man? Who did you have to kill?

TERRY
It was a very simple formula,
actually. Never answer back, never
show up late and always, always,
always know your lines.

NATASHA
Bull. No-one can never be late.

TERRY
Oh I was late many times.
Thankfully I was quiet enough for
nobody to notice my sneaking in.

Natasha sits back and looks at Terry with curiosity.

NATASHA
You must miss performing
sometimes.

TERRY
That's a resounding no.
(beat)
I don’t miss performing sometimes;
I miss it all of the time. Every
bloody day.

NATASHA
Then do it! What’s stopping you?

TERRY
I have a list of reasons.

NATASHA
A list. Jesus, he really is a
stage manager. Fine, give me the
short version and I bet you my
next slice of sex-cake that I can
prove you wrong on whether it’s
legit.

Terry sighs, takes a sip of coffee.

TERRY
At the risk of sounding like some
jaded old man, which I know I
often do... I just can’t afford to
deal with the very high chances
(MORE)

24.

TERRY (cont'd)
that it won’t work out for me.
When you’re young it’s perfectly
fine to quote-unquote dream big
and believe that you can do
anything. But then you suddenly
become and adult and you’ve got
bills and rent and the price of
Freddo bars going up by a pound
every other day. When you’re faced
with all that... It’s better the
devil you know, or however that
saying goes. And then I...

Terry stops himself mid-sentence. A beat.

NATASHA
You what?

TERRY
I did have this one interview for
some fancy drama school, obviously
I didn’t get it but even if I did
I’d have to auction off half my
organs to even afford a place
there. And that was when Weightman
offered me this placement and it
just made too much sense to not
take it.
(beat)
I can’t complain, really. I still
get to be part of that world, just
the specific part that I love the
most.

NATASHA
I do get why you might feel that
way. But it’s definitely still a
load of bollocks. Having a "real
job” doesn’t mean you have to stop
performing. That’s the greatest
thing about it; it can be
anything, anywhere. I could give a
performance right now.

TERRY
Right now?

NATASHA
Want me to prove it?

TERRY
No, I-

25.

NATASHA
Too late. Challenge accepted,
Terrence.

Natasha begins climbing the steps to the top of the
fountain.

TERRY
Oh, no. This is really going to
happen.

Natasha stands next to the statue at the very peak of the
fountain and begins to sing the very same ballad the Busker
in the previous scene was singing. She motions for Terry to
join her. After a moment's hesitation he does so.

The pair burst into laughter.

TERRY
Oh, shit, we are actual weirdos.

NATASHA
We’re artists!

Natasha starts descending the steps and loses her footing.
She stumbles but is steadied by Terry who is right behind
her. She just laughs at the whole affair.

TERRY
Have you been secretly slipping
something into your coffee, too?

NATASHA
Buddy, you wish you could see
drunk Natasha! None of you
lightweights at Chesterton’s would
have been able to handle her. But,
alas, the only buzz I allow myself
to feel now comes from energy
drinks. My Smirnoff Ice and red
wine days are well and truly
behind me.

TERRY
Got sick of the hangovers?

NATASHA
If only it were that simple. Most
people when they’re intoxicated do
things they regret the morning
after. Me? I do things I regret
every morning after.

26.

Terry raises his cup.

TERRY
In that case, cheers to sobriety.

Terry and Natasha both drink.

TERRY (contd.)
Let us just hope we can keep it up
to the end of this show’s run.

NATASHA
How hard could it be?

MONTAGE

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - DAY

A pair of students try with little success to hang up a
banner across the large front gate. The large banner
announces the imminent show; "LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING
ARTS SENIOR YEAR IN 'THE DERMATOLOGIST’S DAUGHTER’ BY B.T.
GOTTLIEB”.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Students sit at the tables, all of them "speed-running”
their lines to each other resulting in an almost hypnotic
chorus.

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Weightman stands in front of the stage sipping from an
enormous coffee cup as he watches the final touches be made
to the set by a couple of stagehands. As he eventually turns
away from the stage he is approached by two young men
wearing all black: TOM and EDDIE, the "Tech Guys”.

WEIGHTMAN
Gentlemen, always a semi-pleasure.

TOM
How’s it looking so far, boss?

27.

WEIGHTMAN
Well... Remember when we did
Threepenny Opera back in
twenty-ten?

Tom and Eddie both wince.

EDDIE
That bad, huh?

WEIGHTMAN
You’ll see for yourselves. I’ve
given them half an hour so you
just get your shit set up ASAP.

EDDIE
We’re just about done, actually.

TOM
Yeah, we’ve synced everything to
our phones so they are all we
need! It’s a pretty sweet set-up,
like we can be cuing the show
whilst checking footie scores
without even missing a beat.

Tom and Eddie laugh. Weightman does not.

WEIGHTMAN
Please don’t ever do that.

TOM
No, of course not.

Weightman glares at Tom and Eddie for a few seconds then
retreats to his desk. Eddie looks down and his phone and
reacts to what he sees on it.

EDDIE
Yes! Get in, my son!

INT. DRESSING ROOM - DAY

A large group of the students (Natasha, Kieron and Beck
among them) sit dressed in full costume for the show, all of
them sipping from cans of various energy drinks.

28.

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Weightman sits at his desk with Terry next to him and Tom
and Eddie slightly behind at their own desk. The stage is
now fully set up.

WEIGHTMAN
First cue, please!

Some lights fade up on the stage and a pair of students walk
onto it through a door in the set and begin reciting lines.

We turn to see Weightman watching this and in a sort of
time-lapse we see his reactions as the rehearsal progresses,
each expression fading into the other (intensity, anger,
concern, disappointment).

INT. AUDITORIUM - EVENING

The whole cast are lined up on stage, all set to give their
curtain-call.

WEIGHTMAN
And after three you all bow. Now
just do all of what you did today
with twice the energy and half the
mistakes and you might just get
some real applause to bow to on
Thursday night.

The cast on stage bow. Eddie starts clapping for them.

WEIGHTMAN (contd.)
Stop.

Eddie stops.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Terry is crouched comfortably on his bed, speaking on the
phone to Natasha.

TERRY
So, two days to go.

NATASHA (filtered)
Forty-eight hours.

29.

TERRY
Two hundred and fifty six thousand
seconds.

NATASHA (filtered)
For real, that many?

TERRY
No, I made that up. I hate maths.

Natasha grumbles.

NATASHA (filtered)
Sorry, there’s no way to put how
terrified, frustrated and tired I
am into words so I just have to
make noises.

TERRY
As an ex Lambert-Chesterton
student I thought your groan
perfectly summed up that feeling.

Natasha groans again.

TERRY
Symphonic.
(Pause)
Hey, listen, want to come by here
tomorrow? We could run lines and
do a few of those super speed
runs. Obviously if you’ve got no
plans and don't mind spending
another day with this old man,
obviously-

NATASHA (filtered)
Obviously. I have no plans. I
don’t plan when I’m stressed, just
causes more stress. That sounds
like an incredibly great idea,
though, thanks buddy! You sure
your Gran will be okay with it?

TERRY
She’ll be more than okay, she
loves any type of company. Except
for squirrels.

NATASHA (filtered)
I’m not a squirrel, Terry.

30.

TERRY
That's perfect then!
(beat)
I should warn you, though. You
know how Grandparents do that
thing where they’ll offer you
copious amounts of food and act
personally offended if you don’t
take it? My dear Nanna does this
hourly.

NATASHA
You had me at "food”.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT, KITCHEN - DAY

True to Terry’s warnings, Patricia piles up a liberal
helping of assorted biscuits onto a plate. Once the plate is
full she stops and regards it for a moment, then reaches
into the cupboard for another plate. She places even more
biscuits on that.

TERRY (o.s.)
Once this is done I promise we’ll
run lines again.

NATASHA (o.s.)
Oh, I definitely believe you.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Natasha lie on the bed watching a movie on the
television mounted on the wall. Terry is mouthing along to
the dialogue spoken by the actors in the film.

NATASHA
Jesus, how many times have you
seen this?

TERRY
I don’t know, I lost count
somewhere in the thirties. Don’t
you like it?

NATASHA
I kind of lost track of what was
going on during that sushi-bar
sword fight. Sorry.

31.

TERRY
Five year old Terry had the same
problem.

They continue watching the movie in silence for a few beats.
Eventually Natasha yawns and rests her head on Terry’s
shoulder.

NATASHA
Sorry, I’m starting to check out.
Studenting is freaking exhausting.

TERRY
Also I am incredibly boring, so
there’s that.

Natasha groans and closes her eyes. Within seconds she is
clearly napping.

Terry has now stopped watching the movie and instead looks
at his sleeping friend. We hear an echo of the words he said
to his Grandmother previously.

TERRY (v.o.)
Trust me, Nanna, I’m not going to
fall blindly and stupidly in love
with her or anything like that.

Terry closes his eyes and sighs.

TERRY
Oh shit, I’m in trouble.

EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - CONTINUOUS

The sounds of the movie Terry is watching can be heard
loudly from within.

FADE TO:

EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - DAY

The next day. Now what we hear coming from inside is Terry
and Patsy fussing over something.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - CONTINUOUS

Terry, dressed in a smart black shirt and trousers, stands
in front of the mirror adjusting his buttons. Patsy stands
behind him trying to get a proper look.

32.

PATSY
Here, let me make sure you look
smart enough.

TERRY
Nanna, I’m not meant to look good
tonight; I’m mean to look
invisible. More invisible than
usual, obviously.

PATSY
Oi! Don’t make me come up there.

Terry turns and presents himself to Patsy. She claps.

PATSY (contd.)
They're lucky to have such a
handsome stage manager.
(beat)
I’m still a bit gutted that I’m
not going to get to see it after
all.

TERRY
Don't be. This play really isn’t
your cup of tea, Nanna. Lots of
emotionally charged speeches and
songs with flutes and violins.

PATSY
Yes, you’re right there. I hate
that kind of bullshit.

TERRY
Don’t stay up too late.

Terry kisses Patsy on the cheek and heads for the door.

PATSY
You can’t stop me. Have a good
one, Choccy-Orange. Make them all
shine!

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - EVENING

We can see the sign for the performance has indeed finally
been put up however it looks in danger of toppling at any
second.

33.

INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS

The rows of seats are now full of audience members of all
types fidgeting as they wait for the show to begin. At the
very back at the room we see Terry, Tom and Eddie at the
production desks with an empty seat for Weightman.

Weightman appears with the stoniest of faces from a side
door leading to the dressing room and takes his seat.

TERRY
How are they all-

WEIGHTMAN
Don’t say anything, let’s just do
this.

TERRY
Okay.
(to Tom and Eddie)
Lose the house lights.

Tom types something into his phone and the lights in the
auditorium fade out. The crowd falls silent.

TERRY (contd.)
And Cue number one.

The lights come up on the stage.

INT. DRESSING ROOM - EVENING

The immediate aftermath of the opening night performance.
All the students talk excitedly while still in their
costumes. The door opens and Terry enters, suddenly all the
students’ eyes fall on him.

TERRY
Message from Weightman! "As far as
first nights go, that wasn’t
completely irredeemable.”

The students all cheer and applaud.

KIERON
Fuck yeah, we’re not irredeemable!

The unmistakable "POP” of a bottle opening. Sam jumps on one
of the chairs holding an erupting bottle of sparkling wine
and becomes the new focus of all the students. Music begins
blasting from somewhere.

34.

Terry leans against the wall and watches in amusement as the
students celebrate. From the crowd Natasha emerges looking
happy but not quite as boisterous as the others. She leans
on the wall next to Terry.

NATASHA
So this is happening.

TERRY
Hey, well done! And that’s from me
not Weightman.

NATASHA
Thank you! I would drink to that
but you know.
(beat)
Honestly I am so unbelievably
tempted to grab a glass. But the
good kind of tempted, I think.

TERRY
I can imagine.

NATASHA
Actually I’m probably going to
step out to somewhere with less
awful music, wanna join?

TERRY
I was literally about to ask you
that.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Natasha step out into the corridor and wander away
from the festivities.

NATASHA
You must have seen your fair share
of first nights in this place. Do
they always end like this?

TERRY
If it’s a good first night by
Weightman’s standard. Not always
with champagne, mind you, but
that’s Sam for you.

NATASHA
And if it’s not a good one?

35.

TERRY
You really are better off not
knowing. But thankfully you were
great! I mean, you as a collective
were great but you in particular
were very great.

INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Natasha enter the now empty and dark auditorium.

NATASHA
Honestly?

TERRY
Honestly.

NATASHA
You’re my friend, though. You’re
supposed to say that even if I was
completely shite. How do I know
what’s actually true?

The pair sit on the edge of the stage. Natasha gasps.

TERRY
What?

NATASHA
Look at that, Terry Merton is back
on stage again!

TERRY
So he is.

Natasha applauds.

NATASHA
Sorry, I had to do that.

Terry chuckles and looks nervously away.

TERRY
This is nice.

Natasha moves closer to Terry and leans her head on his
shoulder. She closes her eyes.

            NATASHA
Yeah.
      (beat)
I feel like I could legitimately
go to sleep right now. Look at
            (MORE)

36.

NATASHA (cont'd)
that, party-animal Natasha really
is retired.

Terry looks down at the peaceful Natasha. He opens his mouth
to say something a number of times but no words come out.

NATASHA (contd.)
Is everything okay?

TERRY
Yeah, of course! Why wouldn’t it
be?

NATASHA
I can feel your heart pumping
about a thousand miles per hour
through your shoulder. Have you
been sipping Weightman’s magic
coffee?

TERRY
No, no, it’s...
(Pause)
So here is a crazy thing that has
occurred to me recently.

Natasha sits up straight and looks Terry in the eyes.

NATASHA
I like crazy! What’s the tea?

TERRY
Right, okay, so we’re both here
right now.

NATASHA
More or less, sure.

TERRY
And that’s good! Because... Okay,
this might be an unforgivably
terrible thing for me to say
but...
(sighs)
Goddamn it.

NATASHA
I could give you a cue line if
that’ll help?

37.

TERRY
Okay, okay, if someone very much
like me were to hypothetically
tell a person very much like you
that he really, really liked them
and asked if there could be any
chance of the two of them being
together what might the person
very much like you say?

Natasha laughs, slightly embarrassed.

NATASHA
Aw, bless you, Terry.
(beat)
No.

            TERRY
Oh.
      (long awkward
       pause)
That's cool.

NATASHA
It is?

TERRY
Yeah.

NATASHA
Then I’m glad you do think it’s
cool.

Another long pause.

TERRY
You know I was speaking to Sam
earlier as it happens, apparently-

NATASHA
Sorry, Terry, I think I’m going to
have to...
(points to door)
Sorry!

TERRY
Oh?

Natasha is already up and heading towards the door.

NATASHA
Yeah, I’m getting a ride home and
I think it’s probably outside now
and it’s late and I feel like a
(MORE)

38.

NATASHA (cont'd)
zombie. So...

TERRY
Of course, I get you. See you
tomorrow then?

NATASHA
Yes! I’ll message you or something
when I get home if I don’t crash
out straight away.

Terry smiles and waves goodbye. Natasha returns the wave and
leaves the auditorium.

Terry sits alone.

INT. DRESSING ROOM - DAY

The mini-party has wound down and only six or so students
remain as well as Terry. Terry picks up a half-empty glass
of champagne and begins to drink from it. Sam approaches
him.

SAM
Hey, there you are! Is everything
alright?

TERRY
Yeah, of course. Never better.

SAM
I’m impressed you were able to say
that with a straight face.
Anyways, I’m gonna head off before
I start seriously considering
going home with one of this lot.
See you tomorrow, dearest.

Terry gulps down the last of the champagne.

TERRY
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and
tomorrow.

Terry leaves the room. Sam watches him go, looking mildly
concerned.

SAM
Once a drama student, always a
drama student.

39.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - MORNING

Terry appears to have not slept a wink the previous night.
He is steadily working his way through eating a large stack
of dry toast stacked on the table in front of him.

Patsy walks out of the kitchen and eyes Terry with
curiosity.

PATSY
If you’re that hungry I could make
you some bacon, love. No trouble.

TERRY
Thanks but I think I just need all
the carbs right now.

Terry continues eating almost mechanically. Patsy watches
him for a few beats.

PATSY
Just don’t leave crumbs, okay?

Patsy returns to the kitchen.

Terry pauses for a moment then resumes his feast, obviously
not caring about the prodigious crumbs dropping onto the
table.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - EVENING

A couple of the students hang around just outside the foyer
having a quick cigarette.

INT. AUDITORIUM - CONTINUOUS

In a rather chilled atmosphere, most of the students hang
out
around the auditorium chatting amongst themselves. At their
desk, Tom and Eddie play some music over the speakers to
help with the vibe.

Terry enters takes his seat in front of Tom and Eddie.

TOM
Evening, fella.

TERRY
Yes, I suppose it is.

40.

Terry glances around the room and spots Sam lying across two
chairs napping. Terry shakes his head and stops suddenly as
something else gets his attention.

Terry sees Natasha leaning against the stage talking to Beck
and another girl. She looks happy. After a little while
turns and notices Terry – who instantly tries to make it
look as though he hadn’t been staring the whole time.

Natasha gives Terry an awkward wave and he returns it even
more awkwardly. She then points at him and raises a thumb as
if to ask "are you good?” Terry nods then gestures back to
Natasha as if posing the same question to her. Natasha puts
on an exaggerated "tired face” and rests her head on her
hands. Terry laughs.

Behind Terry still, Tom and Eddie exchange a knowing glance.

EDDIE
You good there, Ter?

TERRY
Absolutely great, thanks.

WEIGHTMAN (o.s.)
Well isn’t this all precious.

The room suddenly goes silent. Everyone looks up to the
stage and sees Weightman standing there, arms folded.

BECK
We were all just about to do a
warm-up, sir.

WEIGHTMAN
You saying that with a straight
face was your best performance
yet, Rebecca.

The students in the room all organise themselves as
Weightman descends the stage.

WEIGHTMAN (contd.)
So, a little word about last
night. All of you, your work in
our second performance night was
very, very acceptable. Could it
have been better? Oh yes, it had
better get better. As you may or
may not have noticed, I’m the kind
of creative who thinks one can
never have too much rehearsal
time. However I also am well aware
of how much downtime you teenagers
(MORE)

41.

WEIGHTMAN (cont'd)
seem to need to function. And so,
barring the event of something
going disastrously wrong in
tonight’s performance, at the end
of the night you shall all be
dismissed until Friday.

Every student cheers raucously. Even Tom and Eddie start
joining in.

WEIGHTMAN (contd.)
Thank you, I didn’t need my
eardrums anyway. Now let us get
set up immediately.

INT. AUDITORIUM - LATER

Applause continues, however now from an audience that has
just finished watching the night’s performance. The students
all take their bows onstage.

TOM
And... Blackout.

INT. CORRIDOR - NIGHT

Terry fastens his jacket as he walks. He opens a door and
steps into:

INT. FOYER - CONTINUOUS

Terry continues walking towards the main exit but stops as
he sees a small group of students standing outside,
including Natasha, Beck and Kieron. The sound of the
conversation is muffled through the windows but it is
obvious that they are having a good time.

Terry watches as they all walk away in the same direction,
Kieron’s arm very clearly around Natasha.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - NIGHT

Terry looks stone-faced as he drives home. A song plays on
the radio; the very same one the Busker sang in the earlier
scene.

TERRY
Piss off.

42.

Terry promptly switches off the radio.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Terry lies on his bed, eyes wide open and deep in thought.

He types a message;

"2 FULL DAYS OF FREEDOM! HOWEVER WILL WE COPE? xx”

It is sent to Natasha. Terry waits for a few seconds, just
staring at the phone screen. A pair of ticks pops up next to
the message indicating that Natasha has read it.

But there is no reply.

INT. PUB - DAY

The homely pub is mostly empty at this early hour of the
day, Terry and Sam sat around a small table being the most
obvious exception. A small television above the bar plays in
the background.

A member of the Bar Staff approaches Terry and Sam’s table
and sets a pair of drinks in front of them.

TERRY
Thank you.

The staff member leaves. Sam takes a sip immediately then
nudges Terry.

SAM
This one’s on me. And don’t you
tell me it’s too early, everyone
knows that time absolutely doesn’t
count on your day off.

TERRY
Honestly, you spoil me.

Terry takes a big gulp of his drink. Sam looks up at the
television and scoffs as an incredibly cheesy intro to a
programme titled "Love Is a Four Letter Word” begins to
play.

SAM
Fuck’s sake! How is this bollocks
still being produced? Who actually
hates themselves enough to sit
down and watch it?

43.

TERRY
You used to.

SAM
Yeah, used to! Before it turned to
shit.

TERRY
Sorry to break it to you but it
was always shit.

SAM
Are you joking? Everything up to
season thirteen was God-tier
television. Then there was that
bullshit "Allana falls in love
with her cousin” storyline and it
all took a major nosedive.

Sam picks up a nut from the open bag on the table and aims
it at the television.

TERRY
I wouldn’t do that.

SAM
You say that to me a lot.

TERRY
And you don’t listen to me a lot.

Sam flicks the nut. It misses the television completely and
lands in someone else’s drink.

Sam quickly tries to act inconspicuous and takes a large
gulp of his drink. Terry sips his.

SAM
Are you going to even try to keep
up with me?

TERRY
Sorry, man, I’m just tired. And
old.

SAM
Shut up with that "I’m so old”
shite, half my year are only a
year younger than you, some even
less than that. Including Natasha.

Terry reacts to the mention of her name and Sam instantly
notices. Sam giggles and taps his nose.

44.

TERRY
How do you do that?

SAM
Do what?

TERRY
Know things.

SAM
A load of people "know things”.
Actually, for a little while quite
a few of the guys really shipped
you and her.

TERRY
Really? That... is wonderful. I
hate to disappoint them, though;
we’re just friends.

SAM
Is that her decision or yours?

Terry looks away from Sam. A beat.

TERRY
I did a thing, Sam.

SAM
Who did you kill?

TERRY
It’s much worse than that. I told
her how I feel.

Terry drinks. Sam looks at him and for the first time
appears to not know what to say.

SAM
You might want to finish that
drink. And then maybe have another
one.

TERRY
Are you trying to corrupt me,
dear?

SAM
I wish. That would be much more
fun. No, there’s just something
that I should probably tell you
before we all go back tomorrow.

45.

TERRY
Who did you kill?

Sam chuckles nervously.

SAM
You remember that party at Lloyd’s
I told you about the other night?
The one you didn’t feel up to
coming to.

TERRY
You called me about it at 2AM,
Sam.

SAM
Yeah that’s on me. Sorry. Anyway,
it turned out Natasha was there as
well. She came with Beck and
Christa a little before me.
(beat)
She arrived with them but she left
with someone else. With them.

A pause. Terry nods.

TERRY
It’s Kieron isn’t it?

SAM
Yes.

TERRY
Of course. I mean, why not?
(beat)
I don’t suppose my impression of
him is completely wrong and that
he is really a lovely and
wholesome guy, huh?

SAM
He’s a total dick. I kind of sort
of used to fancy the pants off him
in the first year... We all did,
he plays bass.

TERRY
Obviously.

SAM
Obviously! But, no, I soon found
out he is a massive dick. A dick
who doesn’t like dick.

46.

Terry nods mechanically and drinks. Sam moves closer to him.

SAM (contd.)
I’m sorry, Terry. Are you okay?

Terry smiles but his eyes betray it.

TERRY
Me? Yeah I’m fine. Or I will be.
It’s just one of those things,
isn’t it?

SAM
I'll get you that other drink.

Sam pats Terry on the shoulder and proceeds to the bar.
Terry stares through the remainder of his drink.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - AFTERNOON

Terry walks in and closes the door. Almost immediately he
flops down on his bed, emotionally spent. After a moment he
reaches into his pocket and takes out his phone. Unlocks it.

Still no messages.

MONTAGE (SET TO AN OBNOXIOUSLY LOVEY-DOVEY SONG)

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - DAY

Natasha and Kieron stand by the main entrance sharing a few
kisses. Students walk by and react in various ways.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

A grim Terry pulls into a parking space outside the college,
a space that just happens to be in full view of Natasha and
Kieron smooching. Terry’s face drops even further as he
notices them. He then glances out of his window at a car
that has just pulled up next to him. It is Beck, who shoots
him a disapproving look.

47.
EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - NIGHT

A small group of students are congregated, most of them smoking. Kieron is among them, his unlit cigarette behind his ear and looking generally as if he is posing for a magazine cover. Standing slightly behind his group we see Sam chatting to a girl. He glances over at Kieron and immediately scowls. To his companion’s amusement, Sam changes his posture to mimic Kieron. He swiftly stops as the door opens and Natasha walks past, giving him a quizzical look.

3.


INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Terry crosses off two more dates in his diary.

4.


INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Natasha and Kieron sit opposite each other with a large slice of "Sex Cake” on a plate between them. They take turns taking bites of the decadent dessert with a single fork they are sharing.

5.


INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The cast take their bows on stage while the half-full audience applauds. As the cast finishes and turn to leave the stage, Kieron (standing next to Natasha, of course) gives her a very noticeable smack on the butt. Sitting at the production desk, Terry reacts to this and takes a sip of coffee from Weightman’s large cup.

6.


INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Quick cut of another date being crossed of in the diary.

7.

48.

INT. COLLEGE CORRIDOR - DAY

Natasha and Kieron walk holding hands. They pass Terry and
Natasha gives him a quick smile.

Terry continues walking towards the dressing room looking
peeved. Sam quickly appears from behind him and takes his
hand similar to the way Natasha held Kieron’s. Terry
initially moves to resist this but after a moment just rolls
his eyes and goes with it.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Terry crosses off yet another date in his diary then
immediately collapses on his bed. The door creaks open
slowly and Patsy enters with a plate piled with toast. She
leaves it on the desk.

INT. AUDITORIUM - EVENING

Tom and Eddie sit at their desk while the room full of
students are in the midst of a warm-up. The music heard in
the montage now comes from their speakers.

Terry sits down at his desk and looks thoroughly unamused.
After a beat he swivels round to Tom and Eddie.

TERRY
You guys know I hate that song.
Why do you always play it?

Tom and Eddie exchange an amused look and change the music
track.

INT. FOYER - NIGHT

Students file out for the night. Through the large glass
windows framing the door, we see Natasha in Kieron in a
heated exchange. Natasha appears angry while Kieron seems
dismissive. We don’t hear exactly what they are talking
about however each time a student opens the door on the way
out we can just about catch a word or two of what is being
said; "Supposed to feel”. "Don’t understand.” "Fucking
annoying.” etc.

Eventually Kieron throws his hands up in a gesture of
surrender and turns his back on Natasha, walking away with a
small group of boys. Natasha flips him the middle finger and

49.

storms inside the foyer.

Terry enters from the doorway leading to the college proper
and stops in his tracks as he sees Natasha breathing deeply
with her eyes closed in an attempt to calm herself.

TERRY
Everything okay there?

Natasha jumps with a start. Once she sees Terry is her
company she tries her best to appear calm and casual.

NATASHA
Oh, hi. Yeah, yeah, I’m very okay.
Why, do I not look it?

TERRY
As okay as anyone who’s had to
play a Jazz musician’s lustful
ex-girlfriend five times this week
can look.

NATASHA
You flatter me.
(beat)
I’m just standing here all alone
gathering enough motivation to
step outside into this wonderful
sub-zero evening and walk all the
way home. My usual ride left for
the Spoons already so she could
catch the tail-end of Happy Hour.

TERRY
Oh, you’re not going with that lot
tonight?

NATASHA
I wanted to but I just... Life you
know?

TERRY
I think I know.

They share an exhausted laugh followed by an awkward pause.

TERRY (contd.)
I was going to say if you’d like a
ride I’d be more than happy to...

NATASHA
That’s sweet! But I’m probably so
far out of your way.

50.

TERRY
I’d rather drive so far out of my
way than explain to Weightman why
I let you freeze to death.

Natasha laughs.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - NIGHT

Terry drives with Natasha beside him in the passenger seat.
Music plays faintly on the radio.

TERRY
He actually said that to you?

NATASHA
Yep, I’m not even paraphrasing. I
mean for Christ’s sake, all I did
was bring up spending Valentine’s
Day together. From his reaction
you’d think I asked him to carve
my name into his back while
bathing in a pool of our own blood
and swearing an undying allegiance
to the demon lord Pazuzu. I don’t
know, maybe he thinks that is what
people normally do on Valentine’s.

TERRY
Maybe that is what some people do.

NATASHA
But can you see where I’m coming
from? It’s not just me completely
overreacting, right?

TERRY
I’m no expert but to me you sound
completely rational.

            NATASHA
First time for everything.
      (beat)
I swear part of me thinks he’s
just been bullshitting the whole
time and doesn’t really like me,
then there’s this part of me
thinks he just has this massive
phobia of anything that seems like
commitment. Beck told me she
thinks that it may all be a test,
like he’s playing it all coy to
see if I’ll keep chasing after
            (MORE)

51.

NATASHA (cont'd)
him. That’s an interesting thought
but, bless him, I don’t think
Kieron has the sort of brain power
to be so crafty.

TERRY
I’d say that sums him up pretty
well.

NATASHA
I just don’t know. I think I’m
just going to give it a day or two
so that everything cools off and
then just calmly talk to him about
it. Or is that a terrible idea?

TERRY
Talking is always good or at least
that’s what people say. Just lay
it out for him and then see if he
steps up. And he should step up
because if he doesn’t... that
really doesn’t sound like the
makings of a guy who is going to
make you happy. And that’s what is
most important here; you have to
be happy.

NATASHA
You’re probably right.

TERRY
Like you said, there’s a first
time for everything.

Natasha chuckles.

NATASHA
Oh yeah, it’s a left at the end of
this road.
(beat)
So, Terry, who is Olivia?

TERRY
Where did you hear that name?

NATASHA
You know, just "around”.

TERRY
Sam.

52.

NATASHA
Got it in one.

TERRY
What are we going to do with that
boy?
(Pause)
She’s... she’s no-one. A no-one
who used to be a big someone to
me.

NATASHA
One of those, I get it.
(beat)
What happened? If that’s not a
grossly personal question because
if it is please just tell me to
shut up.

TERRY
You’re good. Honestly, there’s
nothing to tell. It just ended. I
kind of wish there was some
cataclysmic event that drove us
apart so that I’d have something
to blame. But, no, she just said
it was over one day. And then a
week later got serious with a guy
who looked like a chunkier version
of that annoying dude from One
Direction.
(beat)
You can probably forget I said all
that. That’s all past shit, it’s
done. As dead as MySpace.

NATASHA
She sounds like a bitch.

TERRY
I couldn’t possibly confirm or
deny that.

NATASHA
You’re a great dude, Terry. We’ll
find you someone much, much better
soon. Just maybe not a drama
student, those are always trouble.

TERRY
That’s sweet of you. You just
concentrate on finishing these
next two terms in one piece and
don’t you worry about the
(MORE)

53.

TERRY (cont'd)
wasteland that is the romantic
endeavours of this old man.

NATASHA
Shush, you aren’t that old.

TERRY
Twenty-one in two months. I’m
practically a Dinosaur.

NATASHA
Right, a dinosaur. A Terry-Dactyl!

Natasha laughs and Terry tries to keep a straight face.

TERRY
How long have you been waiting to
come out with that one?

            NATASHA
Way too long.
      (glances out
       window)
Oh, this is me! Next to that one
with that terrifying gnome sitting
on the windowsill.

EXT. STREET - CONTINUOUS

Terry’s car pulls over beside a house that does indeed have
a gruesome looking gnome on display.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Terry pulls up the handbrake and the car stops moving.

TERRY
Et voila.

NATASHA
Thank you so much for this! And
I’m sorry if all my whining has
been annoying you.

TERRY
Not annoying in and way, shape or
form.

54.

NATASHA
But again, you are my friend so
you probably wouldn’t tell me if
it had been.

TERRY
Well...

NATASHA
Aha! I knew it.

TERRY
If you had been annoying I’d very
politely try to change the
subject. But honestly, scouts
honour, I’m here anytime if you
need to vent. Unless I’m already
being vented to by Weightman, of
course. It’s in my contract that I
have to listen and make detailed
notes about his misfortunes.

NATASHA
I shall remember that.
(Gets out of car)
Until tomorrow, Terry-dactyl!

TERRY
Night night.

Terry watches Natasha enter her house before driving away.
He allows himself to smile.

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME - DAY

A grey, cubic stone building on an equally grey day. The
pleasant looking signage ahead of the main entrance seems at
odds with the rest of the building.

Terry’s car pulls into a vacant parking space and he
hurriedly climbs out, looking in desperate need of caffeine.
He jogs towards the main entrance. A Security Guard standing
by the door waves at him in recognition.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - DAY

Patsy paces the room as if looking for something with a
broom in her hand. The telephone rings and immediately she
answers it.

55.

PATSY
Hello?
(beat)
Hiya, love! Is everything okay?

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME - CONTINUOUS

Terry holds his phone to his ear talking to Patsy while
walking from the entrance back to his car.

TERRY
Yeah, just thought I’d tell you
that I’m apparently needed at work
ASAP so I won’t be home until
tonight.

PATSY (filtered)
Mmm. How did it go?

TERRY
Okay, I think. She wanted me to
give her a scene-by-scene
breakdown of the play and that
made me realise that I have no
idea what is going on in half of
it. So we just talked about
penguins instead.

PATSY (filtered)
She loves her flightless birds.

TERRY
So do you.
(beat)
You know, you should really think
about coming with me next time.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - CONTINUOUS

Patsy reacts to what Terry has just said. Her eyes show a
sadness but she doesn’t let it carry into her voice.

PATSY
Oh, honey. She doesn’t want to see
this old woman.

TERRY (filtered)
Of course she does.

PATSY
No, she made that very clear.

56.

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME - CONTINUOUS

TERRY
A lot changes in seven years,
Nanna.

PATSY (filtered)
Why, did she ask after me today?

TERRY
No, but-

PATSY (filtered)
Has she ever?

Terry opens his mouth but can’t answer. He stops walking.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - CONTINUOUS

Patsy tries to smile but her heart doesn’t seem to be in it.

PATSY
Look, it is a lovely notion,
Terry. It really is. Maybe in
another reality we are all sitting
together talking about flightless
birds as if nothing else matters.
But we have to deal with this
reality, as sad as it may be
sometimes. And then we have to
move on. We have to.

Pause. Terry can be heard sighing through the phone.

TERRY (filtered)
Yeah. I get it.

PATSY
You're definitely sure you won’t
have time to swing by for
something to eat before work? I
could make some of that carrot and
habanero soup you love and I
tolerate.

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME - CONTINUOUS

Terry climbs into his car.

57.

TERRY
No can do, sadly. A couple of
major mess-ups last night so we’ve
all got a lot to get through
before curtain-up.

PATSY (filtered)
I see. In that case make sure you
keep hydrated and caffeinated.

TERRY
Of course. See you tonight.

Terry pockets his phone and starts the car’s engine.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - CONTINUOUS

Patsy hangs up the phone and sits deep in thought. After a
beat, a crash is heard from somewhere within the flat. Patsy
leaps to her feet in anger.

PATSY
Fucking squirrels!

INT. AUDITORIUM - AFTERNOON

Terry hurriedly enters to find all the cast already present
and talking amongst themselves. He walks further into the
space and spots Natasha walking straight for him. As she
gets near, Terry waves.

TERRY
So you’ll never guess what I-

Natasha walks straight past Terry as if he were completely
invisible. Terry reacts, looking back at Natasha but clearly
too embarrassed to go after her as she seats herself next to
Beck.

Weightman calls out from his desk, breaking the moment.

WEIGHTMAN
Everyone in this room had better
hurry up and put themselves
somewhere they can see and hear
me, there are a depressing amount
of notes to get through.

The students quieten down. Terry sighs and hurries over to
the desk.

58.

INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

A couple of students are finishing hanging up their costumes
and collecting their belongings. Most notably Kieron stands
leaning against a wall while engrossed in his phone.

Terry walks in carrying a box of props, pauses for a second
at the sight of Keiron and shoots him a disapproving glare,
then moves to place the box on a table.

The door opens again and Natasha walks in with purpose.
Without breaking stride, she moves past Kieron, grabs her
bag and coat and storms out of the room. Like with Terry
earlier, she acts as if Kieron isn’t even there.

We pull back to see that Terry has observed this all. He
promptly picks up his own coat and makes for the door.

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Terry steps out into the hallway and immediately finds his
path blocked by Beck. Very intentionally blocked by Beck.

BECK
Definitely don’t do that, yeah?

TERRY
Sorry, what?

BECK
You’re heading after Tasha, right?
She isn’t in the mood for you
right now so if I were you I’d
turn around.

TERRY
Oh.
(beat)
Can I ask why or...?

BECK
Does it matter? Do the right
thing. Stay away. Yeah?

A beat. Terry forces his frown into a faux-friendly smile.

TERRY
Fine by me.

BECK
So glad we had this chat!

59.

Beck walks away. Terry stews on the spot for a few moments.
His thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of Tom and
Eddie.

EDDIE
Dude! Coming to The Joiner’s?
Everyone’s going, it’ll be lit.

TERRY
Now?

TOM
Right now.

TERRY
Ah. Sounds great but I’m going to
pass on this one. I’d like to try
and not feel anything for a while.

EDDIE
Fairs. Although you know the best
way to deal with that is to drown
it with enough booze to-

TOM
Come on, man. That Uber driver
isn’t going to stick around all
night.

Eddie shrugs and waves farewell to Terry as he and Tom
continue along the corridor.

TERRY
Have fun, fellas.

Terry sighs once the pair are out of sight.

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Most of the students from Lambert-Chesterton are partying in
the very loud and very cramped bar. Sam sits in a chair with
both arms around girls sitting on each side of him.

A cheer amongst the rest of the group and we see the Natasha
is up and dancing to the pumping music with a carefree
attitude, a drink in her hand. We see Sam react to this with
mild concern before his attention is taken by the girl on
his right wanting a kiss.

As the song finishes playing, Natasha stumbles backwards and
sits herself next to a scruffy-looking man who appears to be
in his mid-twenties and cosies up to him. She takes her

60.

phone out of her pocket and finds that she has a new
message.

A message from Terry.

"HEY... I’M REALLY SORRY THINGS AREN’T WORKING OUT WITH
KIERON AT THE MO BUT IF YOU EVER NEED SOMEONE TO VENT TO
I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE.”

Natasha’s smiling face promptly turns sour.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS

Terry is lying on his bed with his phone on his chest and a
plate piled with toast beside him. His phone vibrates and he
immediately grabs it. He has received a message back from
Natasha. He opens it.

"NO YOU’RE NOT SORRY. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO
HAPPEN.”

"LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Terry lets his phone drop, bouncing off his chest and
falling on the floor. The colour drains from his face as he
just stares up at the ceiling.

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS

Natasha is still looking down at her phone, her expression
blank. Beck promptly sits next to her.

BECK
Hey, you! I thought we promised no
phones tonight.

NATASHA
Oh, yeah.
(pockets phone)
It’s like it was never here.

BECK
Who was it, anyway?

NATASHA
Just... no-one. Absolutely no-one.

Natasha picks up a drink and knocks it back. Beck joins her.

61.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - DAY

Terry opens the front door to find a smiling Sam greeting
him. He holds a laptop.

SAM
Surprise!

TERRY
Hi.
(beat)
Is this like an intervention or
something?

SAM
No! I just thought it would be
nice to spend Valentine’s Day with
my bestie for once.

Terry motions Sam inside. Sam obliges and closes the door
behind him.

TERRY
Aren’t there at least three people
from that long list of guys and
girls of yours who’d be itching to
be with you today?

SAM
Oh, yeah. But they all wanted to
do cutesy couple things and I
can’t be arsed for all that. I
have a better idea for you and I.

Sam starts heading towards Terry’s bedroom.

TERRY
Should I be concerned?

Sam lets out an exaggerated "evil laugh”.

TERRY (contd.)
I should definitely be concerned.

SAM
Feel the fear and do it anyway!

Terry gags as he follows Sam into his bedroom.

62.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - LATER

Sam sits cross-legged on Terry’s bed with his laptop open
while Terry paces and generally looks uncomfortable. Sam
holds up his phone to Terry.

SAM
Smile!

Terry fake-smiles and Sam snaps a photo.

SAM (contd.)
Now try and look like you don’t
want to murder the guy behind the
camera.

Terry puts on a more convincing smile this time. Sam
captures it and goes back to typing.

TERRY
I hope you know that I disagree
with this plan with all of my
heart and soul.

We move to see what Sam is doing on his laptop; he is
setting up an online dating profile for Terry.

SAM
Of course you do. Luckily I’m a
good friend and am willing to put
up with all your complaining. And
then once we’ve set you up with
someone that’ll stop you moping
over Natasha you can feel free to
thank me in whatever way you like.

TERRY
Why, are you offering?

SAM
Sorry, love. You’re not really my
type.

TERRY
No? I do have a pulse. I may not
have looked like I’ve had one over
the past few days...

PATSY (o.s.)
Is that my grandson being negative
again?

63.

SAM
I’m afraid it is, Ms. Tierney.

PATSY (o.s.)
Tell him that he’s never too old
for a slap, will you?

SAM
With pleasure!
(continues typing)
"Never too old for a slap.” Shall
I put that on here?

Terry is staring at the window, not even listening.

TERRY
Do you want to know the funniest
and/or saddest thing about all
this?

SAM
Pray tell.

TERRY
It has made me start thinking
about Olivia again.

Sam stops typing and looks up from the computer. He looks
pissed.

SAM
So, hold up, who the hell are we
trying to make you get over right
now? Natasha or Olivia?

            TERRY
See, not so simple, is it?
      (beat)
Look, whenever I was around
Natasha I felt like I’d completely
forgotten what sad felt like. And
if I did just happen to think back
on all those days I felt like
crap... well, they were all worth
it because it was part of the
journey leading up to meeting her.
      (beat)
But then that all went to shit
pretty fast and so now I’m just
here wishing I was back at a time
where I thought I really meant
something to someone. And the only
time that happened was when I was
            (MORE)

64.

TERRY (cont'd)
with-

SAM
Queen Bitch Olivia.

TERRY
Don’t call her that. "Queen” is
such a noble title. I just... I
was happy back then ergo my brain
tells me if we were still together
I would be happy now. Happy and
not overthinking about someone who
apparently never wants to speak to
me again for reasons I may never
find out.
(groans)
) I just wish this whole human
interaction thing wasn’t so damn
complicated. All these rules, you
know? Text first but only after X
number of hours, don’t say this
until the third date, don’t feed
them after midnight... Sometimes I
wish there was a script that would
tell me exactly what to say and
do.

            SAM
We write our own scripts, Ter.
      (beat)
Of course if you ask me no-one’s
script should include any type of
monogamous relationship as they
are all just an organised way of
indulging in an unhealthy
lifestyle that idealises the toxic
traits of attachment and jealousy.
      (beat)
But what do I know? I’m here to
help not to judge.

TERRY
You and I are quite different
people, Sam.

SAM
I noticed. It’s no wonder so many
people ask me how the frick you
and I even became friends to begin
with.

65.

TERRY
And what do you tell them?

SAM
I don’t lie. I just tell them that
way back when you were the only
person who didn’t look at me and
see an attention seeking emo drama
queen.
(beat)
Even though in those days I was a
pretty big attention seeking emo
drama queen. Thank Christ that
phase is over, right?

TERRY
I don’t know, that fringe really
did suit you.

A chime from the laptop. Sam’s eyes light up.

            SAM
Aha! A match already. Come see.
      (beckons Terry
       over)
She looks nice, right? Right?

Terry looks at the screen and his face drops.

TERRY
Exactly my type.

Sam cheers and types excitedly. Terry just stares ahead,
clearly worried.

INT. RESTAURANT - EVENING

Terry sits at a table looking very uncomfortable. Opposite
him sits CAITY, his date for the night who doesn’t appear to
have an "inside voice”.

CAITY
Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t like
I hate her. That would make me a
proper bitch. I let her off for
hooking up with my brother but I
just couldn’t find a way to
forgive her after what happened
with the straighteners. "Bye
Felicia! Take your wonky eyebrow
piercing with you.”

66.

A waiter brings a pair of drinks to the table. Caity grabs
hers.

CAITY (contd.)
Finally! Shall we?

Caity gulps down the green liquid from her glass.

TERRY
Cheers, I guess.

Terry sips the same liquid and clearly doesn’t enjoy it.

CAITY
Not like that, you pussy.

Caity practically pours the drink down his throat.

CAITY (contd.)
That’s so dirty, isn’t it?

TERRY
Yes, unbearable. Why are we
drinking this again?

CAITY
You’ll see, it gets you completely
fucked so quickly. It was my ex
that introduced me to this, you
know. Bastard, only good thing he
ever did.

TERRY
Is this the one who stole your
hamsters?

CAITY
No, that was Paul. He was a
bastard too but a different kind
of bastard, obviously I seem to
attract them!

TERRY
Oh dear.

CAITY
Joke’s on them, they all had
really tiny dicks.
(laughs)
So why did you click on me, just
out of curiosity?

67.

TERRY
You seemed... nice?

CAITY
That’s it? You don’t talk much do
you? I clicked on you when I saw
you used to do acting. My ex said
I’d be good at it, apparently I
have a magnetic presence. You
think so?

TERRY
I don’t know enough about magnets
to answer that.

CAITY
He also said that he’d love me
forever and that we’d move into
his parents’ attic and grow old
there together. Don’t you hate it
when people just constantly
bullshit you and you’re stupid
enough to believe them?

TERRY
Sure, being lied to is never a
bundle of laughs. Once I knew this
guy who-

CAITY
Hold on a sec.

Caity picks up her phone and takes a couple of selfies of
herself.

CAITY (contd.)
Fabulous. What was I saying again?

TERRY
Everything.

Terry takes another sip of his drink and winces.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - DAY

Terry drives with Sam in the passenger seat wearing a
similar pained expression as Terry had in the previous
scene.

SAM
That bad, huh?

68.

TERRY
I’m pretty out of the loop when it
comes to the dos and don’ts of
dating but it’s definitely not
normal to talk about what you’d
name your kids an hour after
meeting someone, right?

SAM
I’m going to say no... But at the
same time I know that if I ever
met Rami Malek I’d immediately
offer to have his babies.

TERRY
And then she kept on sending
not-so-subtle hints that she
wanted to come back to my place
after we’d done with the meal.

SAM
Shit, son.
(beat)
You did turn her down I assume.

TERRY
I very gladly and very quickly
turned her down, Samuel. I’m not
ready to be a father just yet.

SAM
Aw, well, call all that a practice
run. The next date is absolutely
definitely going to be a step up.

TERRY
I don’t think so. I’ve had my fill
of trying to force connections
with people.

SAM
Really, just like that, no more
dates? Now who’s being a drama
queen? It’s not like you almost
died last night or anything.

TERRY
I didn’t almost die on that flight
back from Portugal sitting next to
a baby with explosive diarrhoea,
doesn’t mean I ever want to do
that again either.

69.

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

The whole cast of students (except Natasha) stand on stage
in the midst of singing a scale for vocal warm-up. Weightman
watches from his desk, Terry beside him and Tom and Eddie
behind.

The cast completes the warm-up.

WEIGHTMAN
And again, please.

BECK
How many more times are we going
to do this, sir?

WEIGHTMAN
My record of "Bella Senora’s”
before a performance is
two-hundred and twelve, Rebecca.
Do not try and top that number.
Go.

The auditorium door swings open and Natasha bursts in
accompanied by the same guy she was cosying up to in the
club; we’ll call him GEE.

NATASHA
I know, I know, I’m stupid late,
I’m sorry. But...

Natasha shrugs sheepishly and giggles. Every student on the
stage glares over at her with varying levels of anger.

Weightman rises to his feet and points at the stage.

WEIGHTMAN
You. There. Now.

Natasha giggles again and gives Gee a hug and a kiss before
making her way to the stage.

TOM
Hashtag-rebound.

EDDIE
Hashtag-awkward.

WEIGHTMAN
And the rest of you, set for the
top of page fifty-one.

70.

The students disperse, some climbing off the stage and
others moving into position to begin rehearsing the scene.
Natasha is amongst those on stage, along with Beck and
CHRISTA, an annoyed student.

NATASHA
What’s up, bitches?

CHRISTA
Thanks, Nat. You put him in a
stinking mood and now we all have
to deal with it.

NATASHA
Oh, Christa, you’re always a gift.
I’ll tell you what, just for you I
make sure to never enjoy myself
ever again. How’s that?

CHRISTA
(under breath)
Fucking skank.

The aggravated student mutters angrily to herself and moves
away from Natasha, looking all set to strangle her.

BECK
Ignore her. How was the rest of
last night?

NATASHA
Up to about half one it was great.
After that it’s anyone’s guess.

Weightman slumps down at his desk and rubs his temples as
Natasha and Beck get into their starting positions.

WEIGHTMAN
You know that feeling when you
wish that a hole the earth would
just open and-

TERRY
And swallow you up? Of course.

WEIGHTMAN
No! Swallow them up.

A chuckle from behind the desk. Weightman and Terry turn and
see Gee standing there, grinning and snapping photos of the
room on his phone.

71.

Weightman rises to his feet once again and steps towards the
stranger.

GEE
All good, boss?

WEIGHTMAN
Who are you, may I ask?

GEE
Oh, sorry, hello. Call me Gee,
pleasure to meet you.

Gee extends his hand for a handshake. Weightman obliges and
leans close to Gee.

            WEIGHTMAN
      (whispered,
       faux-cheerful)
Get out.

Gee scoffs and heads towards the door. Terry’s eyes follow
him all the way until he is out of sight.

WEIGHTMAN (contd.)
Absolutely ghastly.
(to Students)
Right, let’s run this damn scene
if that isn’t too much trouble for
everyone.

TERRY
(to Tom and Eddie)
LX cue thirty, dears.

INT. AUDITORIUM - LATER

The night’s performance is underway, the scene on stage
involving Natasha. As she speaks it is evident that she is
still on the come-down from her previous festivities, her
words quiet and sometimes slurred and her movements shaky. A
number of the performers on stage with her look
understandably annoyed at this.

At the production desk we see Weightman and Terry exchange a
concerned look – although Weightman’s eyes appear more angry
than worried.

72.

INT. DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT

Christa and Natasha are in the midst of a heated argument
about the performance, Beck standing between them to try and
diffuse the situation. Around them a handful of students try
and pretend like they are minding their own business.

Sam quickly puts his hand on Terry’s shoulder and turns him
away from Natasha.

SAM
Nothing to see here, man. Let’s
go.

Sam quickly puts his hand on Terry’s shoulder and leads him
away from the ruckus and towards the door.

EXT. OFF-LICENCE - NIGHT

Sam exits the shop with a bag full of drinks and walks over
to Terry’s parked car.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Sam climbs into the passenger’s seat and closes the door.
Immediately he reaches into his bag and produces a can of
beer.

TERRY
Did you manage to find any-

Sam opens the can and takes a big gulp.

TERRY (contd.)
Wow, straight in there.

SAM
Always. You know I’d offer you
some if you weren’t driving.

TERRY
No you wouldn’t.

SAM
Rude! And after I bought this for
you out of the goodness of my
heart.

Sam takes a small carton of juice with a happy cartoon
mascot on the front and offers it to Terry.

73.

TERRY
Aw, you shouldn't have.

Terry takes the juice.

SAM
And now to make a toast!

TERRY
What’s the occasion? Shit, I’m
going to regret asking that...

Sam takes his phone out of his pocket and fiddles with it.
He then holds the screen up to Terry’s face.

SAM
Aha! You, mister, have another
match.

TERRY
Oh, Sam...

SAM
Would you just look at her!

Terry glances at the phone for a second.

TERRY
Okay, she’s cute. But-

SAM
She’s perfect for you.

TERRY
You said that last time.

SAM
I know but this time I actually
mean it. Listen to this.
(reads from phone)
She loves horror anime, hates
mushrooms, knows the lyrics to
every song in Book of Mormon by
heart...

Terry opens his carton of juice and starts downing it,
clearly not paying attention to Sam.

SAM (contd.)
And, oh my God! She has two cats
named Ripley and Newt! That is
goals right there. Look how cute
they are!

74.

Sam holds the screen of his phone up to Terry’s face. Terry
just nods as he finishes the last of his drink.

TERRY
Yep.

Sam frowns and lowers the phone.

SAM
And you weren’t listening

TERRY
Sure i was. Every word.

SAM
Then what did I just say?

TERRY
(mimicking Sam)
"Look how cute they are!”

Sam frowns harder and takes an angry sip from his can.

TERRY (contd.)
Sam, buddy, I know what you’re
trying to do here and, honestly, I
really appreciate that you want to
help-

SAM
Terrible impression, by the way. I
do not sound like that.

TERRY
But this is not what I want right
now. Eventually, yeah, I’ll try
and meet new people, just not
right now.

SAM
When?

TERRY
I don’t know. Soon. Maybe.

SAM
Procrastination 101. You sound
exactly like I did last year when
I was supposed to be writing that
Brecht coursework.

75.

TERRY
And? You managed to get it in on
time.

SAM
I managed to leave it to literally
the night before. And then I spent
all of said night panicking while
I frantically typed out five
thousand words to the point where
for the next week my hands were
cramped like this.

Sam twists his fingers into a gross display of extreme hand
cramps and waves them in Terry’s face.

SAM (contd.)
Is this what you want for your
future, Terry? Grandpa hands?

TERRY
I’ll take my chances.

SAM
That’s the thing, you never do
take any.

Sam takes a drink. Terry finally starts the car.

SAM (contd.)
It’s like you’ve learned nothing
from that whole LAMDA business.

Terry freezes. After a beat he looks over at Sam.

TERRY
You’re not supposed to know about
that, mister.

SAM
Nothing is ever "supposed" to
happen.
(beat)
You know I still haven’t forgiven
you over that.

TERRY
Yeah? You and me both.

EXT. OFF-LICENCE - CONTINUOUS

Terry’s car pulls away from the kerb.

76.

INT. TERRY'S CAR - CONTINUOUS

Terry drives in silence for some long moments.

TERRY
You do know that there was no
realistic way things could have
played out other than the way they
did.

SAM
That’s some bullshit.

TERRY
I mean it. My Nana, my Mum, was I
just supposed to leave them to it?
And this was still August so I was
still technically with-

SAM
I swear to God, if you dare say
Olivia’s fucking name right now...
(beat)
And look, you’ve made me say it
and now I hate myself.

Sam takes a sip of his drinks and gargles it as if "washing
his mouth out” after saying Olivia’s name.

TERRY
Of course there is the most
important reason of all. We never
would have become friends.

Sam’s expression softens slightly.

SAM
Okay, that’s one. One. But other
than that, you think your
"reasons” are legit?

TERRY
Probably not, no. I just have to
keep telling myself they are.

Sam nods. Again they ride in silence for a few moments.

TERRY (contd.)
I think this is just me, Sam. Just
the way I am. What can I do about
it?

77.

SAM
More.

EXT. BAR - NIGHT

Natasha stands outside the entrance, visibly shivering in
the bitter cold night. A few yards away from her stands a
couple smiling and giggling amongst themselves as they
smoke, very much in love. Natasha shoots them a look.

The door to the bar swings open and Gee steps out. He spots
Natasha and cosies up next to her.

GEE
Everything good, babe?

NATASHA
Fan-bloody-marvellous.

GEE
Come on.

Gee takes Natasha’s hand and leads her back inside. Her
hesitation is obvious but she allows herself to follow him.

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME - DAY

Another exceptionally grey day over the grey building.

LYSETTE (o.s.)
Eggs. Everything is bloody eggs
now and I hate it.

INT. QUEEN’S OAK CARE HOME LEISURE AREA - CONTINUOUS

A somewhat sterile white room at odds with the various
leisure apparatus dotted around it. There is a ping-pong
table, a dart board, stacks of books and magazines and a
television hanging on one of the walls as well as a sofa and
a few tables. A dozen or so plainly dressed people populate
the room, also a couple of people in medical uniforms.

Terry sits at one of the tables nearest the windows along
with a woman of around forty who was previously seen in the
photo with Terry and Patsy; his mother LYSETTE.

LYSETTE
They’re still trying to get all
those chocolate hearts and pink
gin from Valentine’s Day off the
shelves but because we’re all
(MORE)

78.

LYSETTE (cont'd)
meant to make a big wow over the
next big holiday everything has to
revolve around eggs.

TERRY
Even though St. Patrick’s Day
comes before Easter.

LYSETTE
Imagine this place celebrating a
holiday that mainly involves
shoving booze into every orifice.
(laughs)
Christ, what I’d do for a Guinness
some nights.

TERRY
I definitely didn’t inherit your
taste for Guinness.

LYSETTE
No, it tastes horrible, make no
mistake. But with that it’s the
destination that is important not
the journey.

Lysette starts to chuckle but this soon transitions into a
yawn.

TERRY
I hope you’re sleeping, Mum.

LYSETTE
Eh, a few hours here, a few hours
there. Not that I’m not trying!
Getting a kip eight hours while
Philbin across the hall has his
night terrors ain’t an easy task.

A blank-faced middle-aged man wearing a floral t-shirt
shuffles past Terry and Lysette. The aforementioned PHILBIN.

LYSETTE (contd.)
Hiya, Philbin!

PHILBIN
Lysette.

Philbin continues his shuffle towards the television.

79.

LYSETTE
Anyway, forget about this old
woman. I hope you’re bloody
sleeping.

TERRY
I am but to my great
disappointment it never seems to
do the trick.

LYSETTE
It’s that show of yours, isn’t it?

TERRY
It's...
(beat)
Yeah, it’s the show. Just the
show. But that is nearly all done
so...

LYSETTE
Bless. Are you going to miss it
once it’s all over?

TERRY
I certainly hope not.

A loud ruckus amidst the dozen or so people congregated
around the television. An older man grabs the remote control
and flicks through channels.

Lysette watches and shakes her head.

LYSETTE
Honestly, it’s like living with
children sometimes.

A channel is finally settled on and it just happens to show
the opening credits of the show Sam detested so much - "Love
Is a Four Letter Word”. The people around the television
calm down and watch intently.

LYSETTE (contd.)
That bloody show, you ever seen
any of it?

TERRY
Once or twice. It wasn’t a nice
experience.

LYSETTE
I know, absolute complete trash!
Just my luck that all can agree on
watching is this and the news.
(MORE)

80.

LYSETTE (cont'd)
Sometimes Blue Planet.

TERRY
Blue Planet isn’t so bad. Dave
Attenborough’s voice can make
everything magic.

LYSETTE
Even that?

Lysette nods over to the TV where the group watch a terribly
acted and written scene between two actors in their
underwear. Terry shudders.

TERRY
Want me to try and smuggle you in
some DVD’s next time? Something
with loads of gratuitous sex and
violence?

LYSETTE
You really think we’ve got DVD
players here? Best we have is a
ratty old VHS player that must
have been made in the year dot.
(beat)
I don’t suppose you know anyone
who still has a few VHS tapes
lying around, do you?

TERRY
I don’t know that many people.

Lysette reaches into her bag and takes out a pack of
cigarettes and a lighter. She and Terry slip through the
glass doors and into;

EXT. COMMUNAL GARDEN - CONTINUOUS

Lysette lights her cigarette and stares out past the fences
surrounding the entire garden and into the mass of woodland
in the near distance. Terry perches himself on a small wall
next to her, notices her air of sadness.

TERRY
You’re sure everything’s okay,
Mum?

            LYSETTE
Yeah, of course. Don’t you worry
about me.
      (sighs)
            (MORE)

81.

LYSETTE (cont'd)
I just want Spring to move it’s
arse and get here. All these grey,
cold, depressing days... anyone
that says they like them seriously
belongs in here with us lot.
December I can understand because
it’s Christmas and everything is
festive and magical and all that
shit. But after that? When I was
younger I called it The Graveyard
season.

TERRY
That title fits it rather well,
I’d say.

LYSETTE
Your Grandma didn’t agree. Soon as
February rolled around she’d be
bursting into my room at the crack
of dawn to make a start on her
bloody spring cleaning.

TERRY
Yeah, she still does that.

LYSETTE
Of course she does.
(long pause)
How has the old dragon been
keeping, anyway?

TERRY
She's...
(beat)
She’s good.

Lysette nods.

LYSETTE
Good.

Lysette takes a long drag of her cigarette. Terry nods, a
hint of hope in his eye as he too looks out into the
greenery ahead.

INT. AUDITORIUM - AFTERNOON

The door bursts open and Natasha rushes in, script in hand
and already apologising for her lateness.

82.

NATASHA
Sorry guys, you must hate me even
more now but this time it really
wasn’t my...

She stops in her tracks. Clearly she was expecting a room
full of people mid-rehearsal but instead is greeted by
Weightman sitting alone at his desk with a complete
poker-face.

WEIGHTMAN
Natasha.

NATASHA
Hi.
(beat)
Where are the others?

WEIGHTMAN
Their call was two-thirty so
they’ll be getting here soon I
expect.

NATASHA
Oh. But I thought the call was for
two?

WEIGHTMAN
Your call was for two.

NATASHA
Oh.

A long pause. Natasha shifts on the spot.

WEIGHTMAN
Have a seat, you look tired.

Weightman gestures to a lone chair opposite him. Natasha
gingerly complies.

NATASHA
I’m in trouble, aren’t I, sir?

WEIGHTMAN
Who am I to answer that? You tell
me, have you done anything or said
anything that might lead to your
getting in trouble?
(beat)
Don’t answer that now, just think
on it.

83.

NATASHA
I...

WEIGHTMAN
Were you meaning to ask if I
specifically called you here alone
so that I could reprimand you for
something you may or may not have
done?

NATASHA
That's the one.

Weightman nods and takes a long sip of coffee. Finally, his
blank slate of a face shows a glimmer or something; concern.

WEIGHTMAN
No. Not yet.

Natasha exhales in relief yet still looks uncomfortable.
Weightman notices.

WEIGHTMAN
I’ve spent half of my teaching
years in this job and in every
instance of those I have found
this final term to be the most
interesting one. Stressful,
absolutely, but something more
than that. I have to spend
literally hours each day just
watching each one of my students.
(beat)
No, scratch that. "Watching”
sounds like I do it for fun.
Instead let’s say...

NATASHA
Observing?

WEIGHTMAN
Observing! Thank you. And when one
has been observing as long as I
have, one becomes wise to certain
patterns of behaviour. Certain
cues.

NATASHA
You do always remind us of the
importance of learning cues.

Weightman chuckles for a split second.

84.

            WEIGHTMAN
Very good, yes.
      (Pause)
I understand people have troubles,
young people especially. Young
drama students apparently most of
all, or so you’d be led to
believe. Anyone who claims to have
a path with no cracks in life is
either lying or the most fortunate
bastard on the planet. We all are
allowed to feel like we need help
and one should always allow
oneself to ask for that help. And
I am talking about real help, not
the kind that comes in the form of
unemployed twenty-six year olds
who has yet to discover the joys
of manners and/or deodorant.
      (beat)
How is Gee, by the way?

NATASHA
I honestly have no idea.

WEIGHTMAN
My heart aches to hear this.
Nevertheless, I have come to
consider you as one of most mature
out of your year. I know you have
had to deal with things none of
them could even dream of coping
with. And that is precisely why I
believed that if you were having
any sort of real trouble you would
reach out for help from the many
who do care for you. I’d still
like to believe that.
(beat)
Are you going to be okay to
perform tonight?

NATASHA
I’ll be fine. No, I’ll be great!
I’ll try and be great.

WEIGHTMAN
Great would be great.
(beat)
Go and give yourself fifteen, I
think we both deserve it.

85.

NATASHA
Cheers, sir.

Natasha springs up to leave. She barely gets to the door
before Weightman calls after her, stopping her in her
tracks.

WEIGHTMAN
And Natasha? If you decide to turn
up even remotely wrecked to a
performance again and I promise
that you will not ever be
permitted on my stage again. Even
if I have to dress in drag and
play your part for these last two
performances. Okeydokey?

Natasha struggles to find the rights words to respond.
Weightman waves her out of the room. She quickly exits.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - NIGHT

Natasha, looking pale, stands just left of the doors
finishing a cigarette. Nobody else appears to be around
until Beck exits the building and immediately approaches
Natasha.

BECK
You definitely sure you’re not up
to coming, babe?

Natasha nods.

NATASHA
I think I’m done for a while. You
guys enjoy.

BECK
Stay safe, you hear?

Beck and Natasha hug before Beck hurries towards the parking
lot.

Terry now exits the college. Almost immediately Terry
notices Natasha standing alone and it makes him slow his
pace. She either doesn’t see him or pretends not to.

Terry stops walking. We see the dilemma on his face as he
looks as though he is about to turn right around and
approach Natasha. But he doesn’t. He readjusts his bag and
continues walking. Natasha quickly glances at Terry as he
moves away, then turns her eyes elsewhere.

86.

As he nears his car, Terry notices Beck is leaning against
the door of his car, waiting for him.

TERRY
Oh, God. Why?

Terry reaches the car. He and Beck stare each other down for
a few seconds.

TERRY (contd.)
Hi, Beck.

BECK
Someone’s here late.

TERRY
This someone always is.

Terry takes his keys out of his pocket but Beck still
doesn’t move away from his door.

TERRY (contd.)
Can I help you?

BECK
Nah, just waiting for Christa and
Ashe to come out. We’re all
heading to that new club on Firth
Street, Christa says it’s
unbelievable.
(beat)
That wasn’t an invitation to join
us, by the way.

            TERRY
No, no. Perish the thought.
      (gestures towards
       his car)
Do you mind?

BECK
I don't get you.

TERRY
Oh, we're doing this now.

BECK
You go for that "nice guy” vibe
and act like the concerned,
responsible adult but I see what
you’re doing. I’ve dealt with
enough bullshitters in my time so
now I can always see right through
(MORE)

87.

BECK (cont'd)
that. I might be nearly young
enough to be your daughter but I’m
not that naive.

TERRY
And it never crossed your mind
that maybe I really am concerned?

BECK
Never. All I see is some guy
sticking his nose where it don’t
belong. She has real friends
looking out for her. Just accept
the fact that Natasha is happy
without you in her life and get
the fuck over it.

TERRY
I’d love to. But she is not happy.

BECK
Well what the fuck do you know?
Christ, the nerve of this man.
Okay, I’m only going to say it
once so you can go and write it
down in your little notepad if you
need help remembering. You and her
were barely even friends. You went
shopping twice and watched some
shitty action movie in you Gran’s
back room, big deal. She was happy
before she started speaking to you
and she’s happy now she’s stopped.
Don’t have to be a genius to
figure out what that means, eh?

A beat. The pair just glare at each other until another car
pulls up nearby, tooting its horn. The driver’s window rolls
down and Christa sticks her head out.

CHRISTA
Beck! Let’s go, babe!

BECK
Coming!

Beck finally moves from Terry’s path and walks towards
Christa’s car.

TERRY
Have a wonderful night, Beck.

88.

BECK
Fuck yeah I will.

Terry watches Beck climb into the car and it tears away.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - NIGHT

Terry and Patsy sit on the sofa watching something on the
TV. Terry has a plate full of toast in front of him but is
clearly not interested in it. Patsy doesn’t appear to
notice, instead she is fixated on the television.

PATSY
Shit, I’ve seen this one before.
The fella with the beard who was
in Bonanza is the killer in the
end.

TERRY
Isn’t that just always the way.

Patsy finally looks away from the screen and at Terry. She
reaches and takes one of his leftover pieces of toast and
starts nibbling on it.

PATSY
You haven’t made any comments on
the terrible sound mix, love. Do
you want to tell me what’s
bothering you?

TERRY
It's nothing exciting.

PATSY
I can pretend it is. I’m good at
pretending, your grandfather could
have told you as much if he were
still here.

TERRY
Disturbing implications there.
Honestly, I’m just regular
tired-slash-bored-slash cranky. It
feels like I haven’t seen the sun
in about a century, every day has
been grey since forever.

PATSY
Aha. Now you’re sounding like your
Mother. She bloody hated these
weeks at the beginning of the
year, the ones when everyone just
(MORE)

89.

PATSY (cont'd)
complains about how fat they’ve
got from Christmas. What was it
she called it?

TERRY
The Graveyard Season. She told me
all about that.

PATSY
Ah. Of course she did.

A pause. Terry sighs and stands up.

TERRY
I'll just clear these up and then
I'm going to head to bed.

Terry stands and starts picking up the empty plates to take
into the kitchen.

PATSY
You know who I haven’t seen around
here in a while? That nice girl
Natasha. Do you two still...?

TERRY
We see each other, yeah. But she’s
busy and I’m busy and we don’t
really get a chance to have any
proper friend moments.

PATSY
Shame. Well then, seeing as this
show is nearly done and dusted
maybe you can invite her over for
dinner next weekend. That way we
can all catch up.

TERRY
I don’t know about that.

Terry begins carrying the plates to the kitchen. He stops in
his tracks, closes his eyes for a moment and then turns back
to Patsy.

TERRY (contd.)
I fucked up, Nanna. Big time. I’m
such an idiot.

90.

PATSY
Those are some serious charges,
honey. How exactly have you fucked
up?

TERRY
That’s the kicker; I’m not even
sure I know. I just tried to be
honest but then I think I might
have been too honest or possibly
not honest enough. Maybe I should
have opened my mouth earlier,
maybe I should have kept it shut
for good. It’s all just a big mess
and I have no idea what to do
except feel like crap about it.

PATSY
Aha.
(beat)
Listen, you have every right to
feel like crap. That is
unfortunately how it goes when
something so close to your heart
goes pear-shaped. Today, tomorrow,
maybe even months from now, nobody
can blame you for feeling like
crap. That is the easy part. The
difficult part is to remember this
one thing. Take it from an
experienced old lady, one day
probably much sooner than you
think, you are going to look back
on this whole ordeal and you are
not going to give a shit. So
you’ve got to just go on marching
through life how you want to and
not let this temporary pain stop
you.

TERRY
I’m not going to give a shit about
this?

PATSY
I promise. Not a single solitary
shit. Case in point; remember how
upset you were when you found out
that you didn’t get into that
drama school you had your heart
set on?

Terry somehow looks ever more drained all of a sudden.

91.

TERRY
LAMDA, yeah.

PATSY
That’s the one. You were blue
about that for a good few weeks
but once that nice Mister
Weightman asked you back to work
for him you were happy as-

TERRY
No!

PATSY
No?

A beat. Terry sighs and sits down next to Patsy, placing the
plates back on the table.

TERRY
Nanna, I think I need tell you
something that I should have told
you long ago.
(beat)
That day I had my interview for
LAMDA, that interview I spent
months preparing and practicing
for... I woke up, dosed up on as
much coffee as I could and then
got the train all fifteen stops
into central. I even walked right
up to the massive front doors to
the building. But I didn’t go in.
A few last minute jitters, I
thought. But the longer I stood
outside those doors the more I
wished I had never left my bedroom
that morning. There was no best
case scenario of me walking
through that door. I mess up the
interview and don’t get in and I’m
faced with weeks of feeling like a
failure. Sure that’s bad but if it
were just that I was afraid of I
could have still mustered up just
enough courage to walk in. But it
wasn’t just that. No, I was more
terrified that the interview would
go well. That they would offer me
a place.

Patsy looks visibly shocked and confused. Terry stands and
begins to pace.

92.

TERRY (contd.)
Yes, I know how ridiculous that
all sounds. I just... The people
that I watched walking in and out
of that building, they all seemed
so calm, so sure of themselves,
obviously with more talent in
their little fingers than I could
ever hope to have in my entire
being. If I did get in I’d be
surrounded by these people every
day, a constant reminder of
everything I could never hope to
be. My fear was that I would spend
those next two years never
measuring up, no matter how hard I
tried. So... I didn’t try. And I
left.
(beat)
On the way back home, that
shameful train ride, I tried to
rationalise my decision. I told
myself that I chose not to go in
some selfless act so I could stay
here and look after you and Mum.
That I couldn’t justify spending
so much money on myself while you
were struggling to pay to keep
goddamn squirrels out of this
place. Blah, blah, blah. I could
tell myself that all I wanted –
and oh, how I did every day – but
they weren’t the reason I didn’t
get into LAMDA. I didn’t get in
simply because I was – I am – just
a coward.

Patsy rises, takes the plates from the table. A beat.

PATSY
I think that was a very brave
thing you just did.

Patsy carries the plates into the kitchen, leaving Terry
alone with his thoughts and the closing credits of the TV
show they were just watching.

EXT. HOUSING ESTATE - MORNING

A dull sunrise over the blocks. From within we hear the
tones of an alarm clock follow moments later by Terry
groaning.

93.

INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - MORNING

Terry finishes buttoning his shirt. He leans over his desk
and opens his diary to the page labelled Nineteenth of
February. Written in bold and underlined are the words
"FINAL PERFORMANCE!!!”. Terry picks up a pen and circles
these words.

TERRY
Here we go...

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - DAY

Patsy, dressed elegantly, adjusts herself in front of the
mirror. Terry appears from his bedroom dressed in his usual
blacks and reacts to his grandmother’s look.

TERRY
Look at you all glammed up! Don’t
tell me, you’ve got another date
with that silver fox from the
Launderette.

PATSY
No, no, this is far more exciting.

Patsy reaches into her pocket and proudly takes out a ticket
to "The Dermatologist’s Daughter.” Terry reacts.

TERRY
You're not!

PATSY
I am! I know you kept on about how
much I’d loathe it but I thought,
what the hell? I’ll go support my
grandson and maybe get a laugh out
of the dialogue. I hear it’s
atrocious.

TERRY
That’s an understatement. But how
did you even get a seat? We sold
out weeks ago.

PATSY
Well... we all have our
connections.

TERRY
Would this connection happen to be
Sam's granddad?

94.

PATSY
Reginald! Nice man, shame about
his casual racism.

TERRY
You really do think of everything,
Nanna.

PATSY
Everything. And so after the show
Reggie can give me a lift home so
you can go straight out to that
end-of-show party with the rest of
them.

TERRY
You know, I’m not sure if anyone
has actually arranged any-

PATSY
They have, Sam told me.

TERRY
Good ol' Sam.

PATSY
You are planning to go, aren’t
you?

            TERRY
Well, there is a very large part
of me that wants to just come
straight home after the final
curtain and sleep for a week...
      (Notes Patsy’s
       disapproving
       expression)
But I know that I should probably
go and try to have a good time so
it looks like that’s what I’m
going to do.

PATSY
That's my boy!

TERRY
You see? This is my attempt at
trying to be brave.

PATSY
And letting yourself be happy?

95.

TERRY
That I’ll have to get back to you
about. And Mum too, she said she
wants to know all about it. And
there I was planning to concoct
some elaborate fib to her about my
going. I even convinced Sam to
pose in some "drunk photos” with
me so I can really sell it to her.

Terry grabs his bag from the table and heads for the door.

PATSY
It wouldn’t have worked. A Mother
always knows, Terry!

Terry blows Patsy and kiss and leaves the flat. After a beat
we see Patsy’s smile fade a fraction.

PATSY (contd.)
A Mother always knows.

INT. AUDITORIUM - EVENING

All of the students in the cast occupy the room with an air
of nervousness about them. Terry, Tom and Eddie are at their
usual posts, Terry writing notes and the latter pair
chatting excitedly.

EDDIE
Look at that. The final
performance and there wasn’t even
a single casualty along the way.

TOM
Shame about that.

EDDIE
But you know what final
performance means?

TOM
Final epic Weightman rant, of
course.

EDDIE
Last year he sent three students
crying from the room, imagine if
he tops that tonight. Camera
ready?

96.

TOM
Livestream is all set.

Terry looks up from his notes and finds, for the first time
in too long, his and Natasha’s eyes meeting. Natasha’s
expression doesn’t change at all and within a fleeting
moment she looks back towards Beck and her friends.

Weightman enters the space and all is suddenly quiet. He
slowly and deliberately walks into the centre of the
auditorium and glances around at the whole assembled cast.

EDDIE
(whispered)
Here we go!

WEIGHTMAN
Ladies. Gentlemen. Others.
(Pause)
Have a good show.

Tom and Eddie exchange a look of disappointment while the
students all look relieved as they disperse.

Weightman sits heavily next to Terry at the production desk.

TERRY
Everything good?

WEIGHTMAN
Peachy. Let us just do this,
please.

INT. AUDITORIUM - LATER

Jonathan stands alone on stage delivering the final line
from the final scene of the play.

JONATHAN
"I can truly say that after all is
said and done, the dermatologist’s
daughter has shown me that beauty
really is more than just
skin-deep.”

The lights go down and the audience start their applause.

Lights back up again and for the final time the entire cast
of students take their bows to the enthusiastic applause of
the audience. Seated a few rows from the front, Patsy turns
and directs her applause to Terry at the production desk.

97.

At the desk itself Terry also applauds towards the stage. As
for Weightman, though, his eyes are welling up with tears
which he quickly dabs away with a handkerchief. Terry reacts
with surprise.

TERRY
Sir?

WEIGHTMAN
Tell anyone about this and I’ll
end you all.

Terry holds in laughter and turns to see that Tom and Eddie
are surreptitiously recording Weightman’s emotional moment
on their phones.

TOM
Now let’s go and get wrecked.

EXT. ASHE'S HOUSE - NIGHT

A large detached house with obviously very well-off owners.
The front door is wide open and music can be heard pumping
from inside.

INT. ASHE'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

One hell of a party is underway. Nearly all the
Lambert-Chesterton students are present as well as a number
of similar aged people we’ve never seen before, all with
drinks in hand and clearly having a good time.

Terry and Sam enter, their coats still on as if they have
just arrived. Terry looks around the place with a hint of
nervousness.

SAM
Behold, Casa-del-Ashe.

TERRY
So which one is Ashe again?

SAM
You know Ashe! She played the
drunk Aunt.

Sam nods over to a tall girl across the room, the ASHE in
question.

98.

TERRY
Ah yes, girl who had no sense of
prop etiquette. Of course.

Sam waves at Ashe to get her attention.

SAM
Hiya, Ashe!

Ashe violently raises her middle finger at Sam and storms
off.

            SAM
      (to Terry)
Aw, yeah she kind of hates me at
the moment. We had a... a "thing”
a few months back. I told her what
it was and she was like, "yeah,
non-exclusive is cool with me” but
after a week it was clear that it
was not cool with her. So...
      (mimes washing
       hands)
You get me?

TERRY
By now I wouldn’t expect anything
else.

Terry continues to looks around. Sam notices.

SAM
You wouldn’t happen to be glancing
around hoping to see anyone in
particular, would you?

TERRY
Of course not. What a ridiculous
thought.

SAM
Goody.

Sam squeals with delight at the sight of a bucket full of
beer bottles and grabs two, handing one to Terry.

SAM (contd.)
Just like old times, eh?

Terry smiles. He and Sam open the bottles in unison and
drink.

99.

INT. ASHE'S HOUSE - LATER

A little later on in the party and we see the attendees all
enjoying themselves to various degree. Kieron can be seen
making the moves on a girl in the corner of the room. On a
sofa against one of the walls Eddie sits next to a TIPSY
GIRL, gradually edging closer to her as they talk. Tom sits
on the other side of her, more invested in his phone than
the party.

EDDIE
You know that pretty much every
major chart song of the last
twenty-five years was written by
the same group of four people.

TIPSY GIRL
No way!

EDDIE
Google it if you don’t believe me.

Tom waves his phone around as if looking for a good signal.

TOM
Don’t google it. Ashe’s Wi-Fi is
shit.

EDDIE
And you know something else? All
of their songs are designed to
have a killer intro that’ll make
everyone listening shout "Woooo!”
and go mad dancing. That way
no-one notices how derivative the
track actually is.

TIPSY GIRL
Huh?

EDDIE
Get a load of this.

Eddie whips out his phone and presses a few buttons. The
music track changes and instantly the room erupts with
cheers.

EDDIE (contd.)
See? So will you be giving me your
number now or...

Eddie looks up from his phone to see that the Tipsy Girl is
no longer next to him. He whirls his head around to the

100.

makeshift dance floor and sees she is dancing her heart out
along with the others.

Without even looking up from his phone, Tom snickers.

EDDIE (contd.)
Piss off, as if you could do
better.

Elsewhere in the room, we see Terry crouched talking with a
trio of students.

STUDENT 1
Terry, you’d know this if anyone
would; Weightman used to work for
MI5, yeah? That’s how he knows
everything about everyone.

TERRY
Well...

STUDENT 2
I heard he fully keeps a loaded
gun in his desk drawer, is that
true?

STUDENT 3
Nah, apparently it’s a hip flask
shaped like a gun and it’s loaded
with scotch.

STUDENT 2
Either one would make sense.

TERRY
Officially I am going to have to
deny all of that. For the purpose
of having fun tonight... you guys
can pretend I said yes.

A beat. The three students look at each other then back at
Terry.

STUDENT 1
Works for me!

STUDENT 2
Aha! I knew it.

STUDENT 3
I have no idea what he just said
but I am also excited!

101.

TERRY
Now if you will excuse me for a
minute...

Terry stands up and leaves the trio talking amongst
themselves. He finishes the last of his drink and disposes
of the plastic cup in an overflowing trash bag hanging from
a chair.

Terry scans the room in search of someone to talk to... and
suddenly freezes. His expression barely changes but it is
evident that something has affected him.

Moving through the crowd towards Terry is an immaculately
dressed young woman, someone we’ve never met but whose face
we have seen before. OLIVIA.

Time seems to slow down the closer she moves to Terry. For a
moment it is as if she is actually approaching him
specifically. But... without so much as a hint of
acknowledgement from either person, she brushes past him.

After a beat, Terry glances over his shoulder and sees
Olivia talking merrily with Ashe. Still, Terry’s expression
doesn’t change.

Terry faces front again and is met with the sight of Sam
barrelling towards him, eyes wide in shock and fear. The two
drinks he is holding slosh their contents all over him as he
practically parkours over and around the fellow partygoers
and eventually reaches Terry.

            SAM
Oh my fucking God! I’m so sorry,
Terry, I should have remembered
that Olivia and Ashe’s brother
were besties.
      (bangs head
       against wall)
Idiot! Are you okay?

TERRY
I'm good.

SAM
Are you really okay?

Terry considers. He smiles.

TERRY
You know what? I am. I saw her
there and was fully expecting my
heart and brain to explode
simultaneously but... I felt
(MORE)

102.

TERRY (cont'd)
nothing.

A beat. Sam still looks concerned.

TERRY (contd.)
Not nothing as in, "Oh woe is me,
my soul is dead and I have to
stick my hand in an open flame
just to feel something.” Nothing
as in, "Huh. There goes my ex. Oh
well. Next?”

Sam grins ear to ear.

            SAM
You did it! You’re over her! Ah,
didn’t I tell you all along you
would reach this moment? Let’s
drink to this!
      (hands Terry the
       half-empty cup)
Sorry I may have spilled a teensy
drop on my way over here.

The pair drink. Terry places his arm around Sam.

TERRY
I couldn’t have done this without
you, buddy.

SAM
I know. So now we’ve got to get
you to do that one other thing I
said would happen all along;
finding that girl for you who
happens to be one million times
better than Olivia in every way!

TERRY
Ah, forget that. I would only
be... what was it you said?
"Indulging in an unhealthy
lifestyle that idealises the toxic
traits of attachment and
jealousy.”

SAM
It’s not like that! Okay, it is
like that for me but that doesn’t
mean...
(beat)
It's like Jack Daniels, you know?

103.

TERRY
I don't.

The pair begin walking towards the kitchen.

INT. ASHE'S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Sam step into the cramped kitchen which is nearly
as full of people enjoying themselves as the living room.
Sam immediately strides to the table on which scores of
bottles and cups are ready for use. Terry follows.

SAM
Remember that one night I got so
drunk on JD that I thought I could
see through time and was
bed-ridden for three days
afterwards?

TERRY
Vividly.

SAM
Aha! Well...

Sam grabs a bottle of what looks like Jack Daniels off the
table on closer inspection it is an obvious off-brand
imitation. Sam scoffs.

SAM (contd.)
Just pretend that’s JD. After that
night just the smell of it, the
thought of it made me gag.
Whenever I saw someone ordering
one I had to resist grabbing them
and asking what the hell they were
doing with their life to willing
subject themselves to such
torture. But...

TERRY
But?

SAM
But then I would remember just how
much you liked it. I remembered
that whenever you’d pour yourself
some of that devil juice you’d be
happy, always happy. Even when
Olivia was being a bitch and
hitting on Richard Spirrino so as
to make you jealous. And so, even
though every fibre of me being was
(MORE)

104.

SAM (cont'd)
repulsed by the stuff and always
will be, I was glad it was around
because I’d get to see my bestie
living his best life.

A DRUNK LAD reaches for the bottle in Sam’s hand.

DRUNK LAD
Mind if I take some of that?

SAM
Please do take it away from me.

Sam practically shoves the bottle into the Lad’s hand. Terry
smiles and shakes his head in amusement.

TERRY
You’re pretty damn sweet, Sam.

SAM
Again, I know. Now let’s do some
fucking shots.

INT. ASHE'S HOUSE - LATER

The party is still in full swing. A load of the students are
still dancing energetically while a couple can be seen
sitting or lying at the edge of consciousness around the
room. Kieron is making the moves on a different girl from
the one before.

EXT. ASHE'S GARDEN - CONTINUOUS

Terry and Sam walk out of the house and into the huge and
well-kept garden, drinks in hand.

TERRY
I’m not going to imagine that,
Sam. I refuse.

SAM
Only because you know I’m right!

TERRY
They’re just good friends. Your
Grandad dropped my Grandmother off
home, gave her a respectful peck
on the cheek and then went
straight home, that’s it.

105.

SAM
You sure about that? Even
pensioners need a little "fun
time”, you know what I mean?

Terry cringes and laughs. Sam’s phone beeps and he glances
down at it. His eyes widen.

SAM (contd.)
Oh, sweet Jesus.

TERRY
What?

SAM
Spence is here with the Prossecco
keg. You mind if I...?

TERRY
I wouldn’t dream of minding. Go
on.

Sam gives Terry a quick peck on the cheek.

SAM
Love you! Back in a flash.

INT. ASHE'S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

Sam enters and closes the door behind him... And bumps right
into Olivia. She recognises him instantly, smiling widely as
though she genuinely happy to see him and affectionately
places her arm around his shoulders.

OLIVIA
Sam Field, it is you! Oh my God
it’s been too long. How the hell
have you been?

Not missing a beat, Sam brushes Olivia’s hand away.

SAM
I don’t know you, lady.

Sam proceeds to the crowd of dancers, leaving Olivia looking
equally embarrassed and confused.

EXT. ASHE'S GARDEN - CONTINUOUS

Terry hears the door open again.

106.

TERRY
That was quick, buddy.

Terry turns to see that it is not Sam that has come through
the door, instead a couple passionately (and drunkenly)
kissing each other. Terry cringes and moves away.

NATASHA (o.s.)
Gross.

Terry looks in the direction of the voice. He sees Natasha
crouching on one of the garden chairs, almost camouflaged by
her all-black clothes. She stares straight ahead, not
looking directly at Terry.

NATASHA (contd.)
Ashe has five bedrooms, you’d
figure they could pick one.

TERRY
I agree.
(Pause)
So... hi.

Natasha nods in acknowledgement yet still doesn’t look at
Terry.

TERRY (contd.)
I can go back inside if you-

NATASHA
Nah, you’re good. I’m going to
head off in a minute anyway.

TERRY
Oh. Already?

NATASHA
I’m too tired for all this. I’d
rather go sit in bed, eat crap and
binge on eighties horror flicks.

TERRY
Sounds like heaven.

NATASHA
Heaven has nothing on young Bruce
Campbell.

The door from the house opens and Beck comes charging out.

107.

BECK
Tasha! There you are! Okay so I
know you weren’t going to drink
tonight, right, but this guy
Laurence brought with him has...

Beck trails off as she notices Terry. Her eyes narrow and
she generally looks as though she could lunge for him at any
second.

NATASHA
It’s fine, Beck. We’re all good
here.

BECK
Really?

NATASHA
I promise.

BECK
Because I could-

NATASHA
Please don't.

Beck continues to glare at Terry as she disappears back into
the house. Terry exhales in relief.

TERRY
For I moment there I feared for my
very life.

NATASHA
Yeah, Beck is... She’s...

Natasha cringes as she tries to find the right words.

TERRY
Let’s leave it at that.

A beat. Terry moves a little closer to Natasha and perches
on a stone pillar.

TERRY (contd.)
Well done, by the way.

NATASHA
Why, what did I do?

TERRY
The show, you were really great. I
know I said that before on the
very first night but you were also
(MORE)

108.

TERRY (cont'd)
great in all fifteen performances
after that.

NATASHA
Not all of them, let’s be honest
here.

TERRY
Honesty is always good.
(beat)
Since we are being honest this
evening I should probably take
this opportunity to tell you that
I’m sorry.

A long pause. Natasha finally looks at Terry.

NATASHA
Cool. Do you know what you are
apologising for?

TERRY
I know what I feel worst about.
That night after the very first
show, the one Weightman called not
totally irredeemable, I... I said
how I felt. Technically I said how
someone like me might have
hypothetically felt, but-

NATASHA
Yes, I do remember.

TERRY
Right, and you shouldn’t have to
remember because I shouldn’t have
done that. I know that now.

Natasha sighs.

NATASHA
Yes, you should have. It had to
come out one way or another.

TERRY
Did it? After that nothing was the
same. If I hadn’t said all that to
you we’d still be friends right
now. I might have been able to
help you out after you and
Kieron...

109.

NATASHA
Ha! What a shit show that was.

TERRY
I was so worried about you after
that. You were... different. I
just wanted to ask you if you were
okay, if there was anything I
could do, just something so you
weren’t just left to deal with all
that alone. But I couldn’t because
you didn’t want to know me and I
just felt...
(beat)
Shit, this is starting to sound
like I’m trying to guilt-trip you.
I’m sorry.

NATASHA
Don’t worry. Guilt and I go way
back.

TERRY
I should have kept my mouth shut.
There’s no question about that.

NATASHA
No, Terry. No. It wouldn’t have
been fair on you. You’d have just
spent all this time wondering.

TERRY
I would have gladly spent the
future never knowing how you
really felt about me or if
anything more could have come of
us as long as it meant still
having you in my life.

NATASHA
Maybe it was never meant to be,
this friendship. Maybe if you
didn’t say anything and we carried
on as normal I’d have done
something to you the very next day
that that would have made you
never want to speak to me again.
Apparently I’m quite good at that.

110.

TERRY
I have a pretty damn vivid
imagination and even with that I
can’t imagine any conceivable way
in which that could have happened.

NATASHA
Even so, if anyone starts living
their life focusing on the
"maybes” they are going to be in
for a miserable ride.

TERRY
I’d still like to at least visit
the "maybe world” where you didn’t
hate me right now.

NATASHA
I don’t hate you, Terry. I don’t
think I ever could. Our friendship
might have only been a brief blip
in the grand scheme of things
but... It did make me happy for
that little while. You were sweet
to me. For once I wasn’t just "The
New Girl”.

TERRY
I thought Beck would have been the
one to do that.

NATASHA
She did try. But her concept of
being helpful really wasn’t all
that helpful.

TERRY
I'm shocked.

Natasha laughs.

NATASHA
Wow, she really got to you, didn’t
she?
(beat)
Let me tell you something though,
Terry. Even though I may not care
about you in the way I once did I
still want you to care about you.
And that is exactly why we can’t
be friends.

111.

TERRY
I don’t get it.

NATASHA
We can't be friends because I
don’t want you to look at me and
think about what we used to have.
Or to think about those maybes. I
want you to be happy.

TERRY
And I want you to be happy.
(beat)
Maybe one day, right? Or is that
another "maybe"?

NATASHA
Are you kidding me? One day soon
you’re going to be so painfully
happy!

TERRY
Without you.

NATASHA
Yes. I’m annoying as fuck, you can
find like a million many better
people to spend your time with
than me. I’m shocked you haven’t
already, to tell you the truth.

TERRY
There will never be anyone quite
like you, Ghost Girl.

NATASHA
Thank God.

Natasha’s phone buzzes and she looks down at it. With that,
she gets to her feet and after a moment of hesitation places
a hand of Terry’s shoulder.

NATASHA (contd.)
Be good to yourself, Sex-Cake Boy.

The pair hug one last time, saying nothing. Immediately
after, Natasha turns and heads back towards the house.

Terry watches as Natasha walks past the make-out couple and
into the house. Before long she has disappeared amongst the
crowd of happy dancing people.

112.

TERRY
Goodbye.

Terry sits in the chair Natasha has just vacated, listening
to the sounds of the party.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - MORNING

Morning sunlight streams through the windows. Everything is
quiet for a few beats until the door to Terry’s bedroom
creaks open. Terry himself steps out, hair dishevelled and
eyes heavy as he has obviously just woken up.

TERRY
Nanna?

No response. Terry scans the space and spots a note on the
table. He approaches the table to get a closer look at it.
"POPPED TO TOWN. SHAN’T BE LONG.” Underneath is a doodle of
a little old lady running for a bus.

Terry chuckles. He turns towards the window and takes a good
look at the sun peeking out through the clouds.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Terry walks at a leisurely pace, a cup of coffee in his
hand.

EXT. COURTYARD - CONTINUOUS

The same place Terry and Natasha had spent the evening on
their earlier friend-date. As Terry approaches the fountain
the pair had sat by, he notices a Busker is performing
there. The very same Busker he and Natasha had encountered.
Terry stops to watch him, smiling slightly.

INT. QUEEN’S OAK CARE HOME LEISURE AREA - DAY

Lysette sits alone at a table hand rolling some cigarettes.
She hears footsteps approaching the table and peers up to
see Patsy standing opposite her.

Lysette has no visible reaction and goes right back to
rolling.

Patsy pulls up a chair and sits opposite her daughter. After
a few moments of silence, Lysette holds out her case full of

113.

cigarettes to Patsy. Patsy takes one and pops it behind her
ear.

PATSY
Don’t you dare tell your son I
took one.

Lysette nods.

LYSETTE
Around here snitches get stitches.

Patsy and Lysette both stand and head towards the door to
the garden.

INT. TERRY'S FLAT - AFTERNOON

Terry switches on the TV and begins flicking through
channels. The front door to the apartment swiftly swings
open and Patsy enters holding bags full of groceries. Terry
immediately springs up to assist her.

TERRY
Ah, there she is!

PATSY
Sorry, love. The traffic in town
is bananas, some bastard jumped
the lights on Tavistock Street and
nearly caused a pile-up.

TERRY
And there I was thinking you’d
finally gone and left me for a
younger model.

PATSY
Not this time, I’m afraid. I just
had to run to the big Tesco to get
that calamari for dinner tonight.

TERRY
Ozzy’s round the corner does
calamari, you could have just
popped in there.

PATSY
Oh no, the man on the fish counter
there looks as though he never
washes his hands properly.

114.

            TERRY
Yeah I totally see that.
      (heads towards
       kitchen)
I’ll make you a tea then, shall I?

PATSY
Also I went to visit your Mother.

Terry completely freezes mid-walk. He turns to Patsy, his
eyes wide with surprise. Patsy smiles.

PATSY (contd.)
Don’t worry, I’ll sort that tea.

Patsy glides past him and into the kitchen. Terry stays
frozen for a few more beats before following her.

INT. KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS

True to her word, Patsy has made a start on the tea. Terry
enters, almost falling over himself in his fluster.

TERRY
Do you think that maybe you should
have lead with that last thing you
said?

Patsy looks up, genuinely considering it.

PATSY
In hindsight yes, you’re probably
right. Although I would have
missed the looks on your face
right now had I done that.

Patsy resumes making tea. Terry finally smiles widely.

TERRY
What happened?

PATSY
We talked. Just talked. Talked
about the weather, squirrels,
those square croissants you can
buy now. Little nothings, really.
(beat)
It was all as if we’d only just
seen each other last week.

115.

TERRY
That is... That’s amazing! Really,
it’s-

PATSY
It’s how it should be, Terry.
Nothing amazing or unusual about
it. It’s simply how it should have
been all along.

TERRY
You’re right. But like you said,
after all that’s happened...

PATSY
The first step was the hardest.
Everything after that is going to
be a piece of piss.

Terry plants a kiss on Patsy’s forehead.

TERRY
I’m proud of you, Nanna.

PATSY
So now you know how you make me
feel extremely often.

TERRY
No, not nearly often enough.

Patsy looks unamused. Terry smiles sheepishly.

TERRY (contd.)
Sorry.

Patsy picks up her tea and slides past Terry.

PATSY
Anyway, hush now. I’ve already
missed the first ten minutes of
Columbo.

Patsy leaves Terry alone in the kitchen, alone but still
smiling. He turns to pick up his tea and catches sight of
those old photos of himself still stuck proudly on the wall.
His smile subsides however not into a look of sadness. It
becomes the face of a man filled with inspiration.

116.

INT. STAFF OFFICE - DAY

Terry sits opposite Weightman who is perched on a stool
behind his neatly organised desk. Weightman wears an
expression that is far softer and understanding than his
usual displeased frown.

WEIGHTMAN
This is quite the emotional
dilemma, Terry. The part of me
that has been your boss wants to
chew you out for leaving me to
deal with all these punks alone.
The part of me that was your
teacher, however, is beyond
thrilled that you’ve found the
courage to take this leap. He
wants you to keep on pushing
forward and never look back.
(beat)
Right now I feel much more like a
teacher than a boss.

TERRY
I’d better tuck my shirt in.

WEIGHTMAN
All I can do now is wish you the
very best of luck, Terry Merton.

Weightman holds out his hand. Terry reaches and shakes it.
In this moment they do not look like a teacher and former
student or a boss and employee. They look like two old
friends.

TERRY
Thank you, Magnus.

WEIGHTMAN
I do sincerely hope you can make
it to the graduation party come
May. I know the class would all
love to see you there after all
you’ve done for them.

TERRY
I’ll do my best.

WEIGHTMAN
You always do.

117.

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - MOMENTS LATER

Terry exits the Staff Office and closes the door behind him.
We follow him as he proceeds down the corridor looking very
content.

He turns a corner and encounters a quartet of students
grouped together in conversation, among them Beck. As usual,
she shoots him her glare of disdain but Terry just smiles
nods at her as he passes.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - CONTINUOUS

Terry exits the college and is met with a surprisingly
pleasant day; for the first time in a very long time the sun
is out and shining unapologetically. Terry takes a moment to
admire it all.

KIERON
Hey.

Terry turns and sees Kieron leaning against the wall with an
unlit cigarette in his hands.

KIERON (contd.)
Don’t suppose you have a light?

Terry reaches his hands into his pockets in a half-assed
search but gives up after a few seconds.

TERRY
I have no clue why I’m looking, I
know I don’t have one. Sorry.

KIERON
Don't worry about it.
(beat)
Terry, right? Weightman’s
assistant?

TERRY
Deputy Stage Manager. That’s me.

Kieron holds his hand out for a handshake.

KIERON
Don’t think we’ve properly spoke
before. I’m Kieron.

Terry shakes Kieron’s hand.

118.

TERRY
I know.

KIERON
Yeah, we all know old Weightman
isn’t my biggest fan.

TERRY
He isn’t the easiest man to
please, don’t take it personally.

KIERON
Oh, I don’t. How come he’s got you
in today?

Terry hesitates for a moment.

TERRY
I actually came to hand in my
notice.

KIERON
Why, what have you noticed? It’s
Laurence, right? I heard about
what he took in the gents room
before-

TERRY
This job, Kieron. I’m leaving it.

KIERON
The job, right.
(beat)
We were that bad, huh?

TERRY
Well...

KIERON
Joking! I’m joking. But we kind of
were.

TERRY
There were times. You’re a good
group though, deep down. Most of
you are. I just figured it was
about time to go out there and try
and get to where I’ve always
wanted to go in life.

Kieron laughs.

119.

KIERON
"Most of you are”, I like that.
You do you though, fella, whatever
makes you feel happy. There’s that
thing that guy said in that thing,
or maybe he wrote it, I can’t
remember... It was something about
it being good to live life knowing
you tried than not live life
knowing that you didn’t try, or
maybe it was the other way around.
I don’t know, something like that
anyway.
(beat)
I’ll tell you what, though, a load
of us lot are going to miss not
having you around.

TERRY
You think so?

KIERON
Yeah, why not? I never heard any
of them bitch about you or
anything. And trust me, if anyone
in this place is unhappy about
anything they will bitch. A lot.

TERRY
That I can believe.

KIERON
You’re going to be great, fella. I
can always tell with these things,
it’s like one of my party tricks.

TERRY
That really means a lot.

KIERON
No problem. I try not to be an
asshole all the time.

Terry affectionately pats Kieron on the shoulder.

TERRY
Thank you, Kieron. I hope you find
that light.

Terry walks, leaving behind Lambert-Chesterton college.

120.
MONTAGE

1.


INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - DAY

Moving with purpose, Terry switches on his laptop and starts rummaging through his desk drawers.

2.


INT. LIBRARY - DAY

The same Librarian we met earlier stands behind the reception looking just as done with life as before. Natasha approaches the reception and hands a book back to the Librarian. Not just any book; it is the very same "bald dude with a mole and a lazy left eye” book she borrowed with Terry’s assistance.

3.


INT. TERRY'S BEDROOM - EVENING

Terry sits huddled over his laptop, typing up what appears to be a C.V. We pan down to his almost-full rubbish bin. Placed in it we see all the photos of him and Olivia that we saw stashed away previously. Unseen by Terry, an intrepid little squirrel scuttles in and sits on the rim of the bin. It pokes around for a few seconds and then tears off half of a sliver of one of the photos of Terry and Olivia. Holding it in its mouth like a prize, the squirrel scampers off to cause havoc elsewhere.

4.


EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - DAY

A mass of final-year students pile in through the main entrance. The majority of them look tired and/or concerned.

121.

INT. COLLEGE HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS

The flow of students all head towards a desk situated next
to Weightman’s office, a desk on which sits a tray boldly
labelled with the words "FINAL ASSESSMENT SUBMISSIONS”. One
by one, the students place their essays into the tray.

INT. STUDIO WAITING ROOM - DAY

Terry sits in the cramped room amongst a handful of other
young men of a similar appearance to him, all waiting in
silence. Film and TV posters and a few headshots hung on the
wall around them indicate that this is a casting session.

A door opens to a side room and a Woman with a clipboard
steps out and calls a name. The Man sat directly next to
Terry stands up in response. Terry smiles politely at the
Man.

TERRY
Good luck.

The Man swiftly smiles in reciprocation and heads straight
towards the Woman in the doorway. Terry resumes waiting.

EXT. QUEEN'S OAK CARE HOME COMMUNAL GARDEN - DAY

A beautiful day. Patsy and Lysette sit at one of the picnic
tables and appear to be deep in an animated and friendly
conversation.

Terry steps out of the main with a box of snacks and joins
the pair at the table. All three look happy to be there.

INT. AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

Graduation night!

All the students we are now very familiar with stand beside
the main stage looking pleased with themselves; Sam,
Natasha, Beck, Kieron and everyone else from the cast of
"The Dermatologist’s Daughter.” A name is called and the
corresponding student takes their turn to ascend the stage,
where they shake hands with a smartly dressed Weightman and

122.

are handed a diploma. We see this process repeated 2-3
times.

In the audience seats, the students’ families, friends etc.
all applaud.

EXT. LAMBERT-CHESTERTON PERFORMING ARTS COLLEGE - LATER

Sam exits the building, smiling widely. He is met by Terry a
little way away from the entrance. The pair hug each other.

TERRY
Sorry I look like hell, I just
came from an audition.

SAM
Hell yeah you did!

Terry notices Natasha has just exited the college and is
leaning against the wall. He gives her a tiny wave. She
returns it.

SAM (contd.)
You allowed to tell me what it’s
for or is it something I’ve never
heard of?

TERRY
Just this old show you adore so
much called "Love Is A Four Letter
Word."

SAM
Fuck off.

Terry and Sam start to walk off into the night. Still
leaning against the wall, Natasha watches them go.

Quite suddenly, Natasha steps away from the wall and for the
briefest of moments it appears as though she is going to
follow Terry and Sam, or at least call out to them. But she
doesn’t. She stops herself.

Natasha gives a sad smile as she returns to leaning against
the wall.

FADE OUT.

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