Screenwriter Community |
|
|
|
by Nick (nickmcflurry@yahoo.com)
Rated:
Genre: Comedy
User Review: NOT YET RATED
This screenplay is copyrighted to its author. All rights reserved. This screenplay may not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.
|
FADE IN:
|
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY |
|
|
MR. D
YOU MIGHT WANT TO THROW IN SOME
ESTABLISHING STUUF SO WE KNOW
WHERE WE ARE AND WHAT'S GOING ON. |
|
|
Office Aid walks into classroom from the front door. Drops
a note on a kid's desk and walks out |
|
|
JASON
(Thinking to
himself)
NewyzMission |
|
|
In his thoughts we see a person saying, "when ever we need
to contact you, we will use the letters y and z together
instead of a space. That way only you can read it. |
|
|
JASON
Teacher, I need to go |
|
|
Jason walks out of the classroom through the back door. |
|
|
INT. RESTROOM - DAY |
|
Jason enters the restroom and checks to see if anyone is
inside |
|
|
JASON
(Into his watch)
Thatch, come in Thatch, we have a
code 297 purple linebacker. |
|
|
Flash of light beams under a stall and thatch appears |
|
|
THATCH
Sweet! ...Where's the doughnuts? |
|
|
|
JASON
Doughnuts!? We've got another
opperation to take care of. |
|
|
|
THATCH
(Bummed)
Man...I thought there were
doughnuts. |
|
|
2.
|
|
JASON
No you bafoon. Code 29"6" purple
linebacker is doughnuts. |
|
|
the door creaks open and a kid walks in, and into a stall. |
|
|
THATCH
(quickly changing
the subject)
Have you taken that math test yet? |
|
|
|
JASON
(Understanding
where Thatch was
going)
I'm in the middle of it. |
|
|
|
THATCH
Is it hard? I havn't taken it
yet. |
|
|
|
JASON
Nah, it isn't that difficult. I
think it is quite easy. |
|
|
Kid exits out and they quickly get back to the REAL story |
|
|
JASON
Like I was saying, there are no
doughnuts, we have another
assignment so we need to go see
da' boss. |
|
|
Boys exit the restroom and walk twards a biulding. They
enter an elevator then go down a flight of stairs into an
empty room where there is a man waiting for them. |
|
|
INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM - DAY |
|
|
Z
(Greeting Jason
and Thatch as
they walk in)
I've been expecting you two. |
|
|
|
JASON
(Repling as if he
had heard it a
million times)
What is it now Z? |
|
|
3.
|
|
|
|
JASON
(Breaks off Z's
sentence)
Ima Spoiledbrat |
|
|
|
Z
(Finding his train
of thought)
Yes, well she has been constantly
asking kids around campus what
nerds do on their free time.
That's where you come in Jason.
your job is to disguise yourself
as one of these nerds and befriend
them. |
|
|
|
Z
In this backpack you will find
gadgets you my need for this
assignment including a new ID card
for you jason. |
|
|
Thatch takes the backpack and Jason and he start to walk
away. |
|
|
Z
Oh, and Jason. Please stay
undercover and keep thatch from
doing something stupid. You're
not dealing with blond
cheerleaders anymore. |
|
|
Jason turns around and is walking backwards. |
|
|
JASON
Don't worry Z everything is under
control. |
|
|
The door closes and the two are out of sight. |
|
|
Z
(To a blackend
figure)
And you. I need you to make sure
Jason's objectives do not go
astray. |
|
|
The figure nods and exits out the back. |
|
|
4.
|
EXT. ATTENDENCE OFFICE - DAY |
|
Jason and Thatch are walking up to the biulding. Jason
stops him and dosn't turn to him. |
|
|
JASON
(Without looking)
Thatch walk in right behind me and
follow my lead. |
|
|
Jason then pours water all over his cloths and walks in. |
|
|
INT. ATTENDENCE OFFICE - DAY |
|
In walks soaking Jason with loyal Thatch behind him. |
|
|
JASON
(To the office aid
in a sad voice)
Hi,um my name is Jason. My mom
droped off some clothes for me. |
|
|
The aid hands jason a fresh set of nerdish clothing and runs
to the restroom. |
|
|
INT. RESTROOM - DAY |
|
Jason runs into a stall and changes his clothes. |
|
|
JASON
(Walking out of
the stall)
Cake. |
|
|
|
THATCH
Hay Jason you look good in that
mabye you should wear that all the
time. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
(Through his teeth)
My name is not Jason you moron
it's Linus from now on ok. |
|
|
|
THATCH
Yah yah shure whatever you say
Linus. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Right now lets go get Linus's new
schedule. |
|
|
5.
|
They exit and walk tward the main office once more. |
|
|
INT. ATTENDENCE OFFICE - DAY |
|
Linus(Jason) walks into the office and heads toward the
Attendence lady. |
|
|
ATTENDENCE LADY
(Looking up)
Can I help you? |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Yes, well... I'm a new student and
I need a schedule. |
|
|
|
ATTENDENCE LADY
Ok. Your name sir? |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Ja-(stoppes himself) Linus. My
name is Linus. |
|
|
|
ATTENDENCE LADY
Alrighty then. |
|
|
She starts rifling through drawers and files. She hands
Linus his schedule. |
|
|
|
Linus takes the schedule and walks out. |
|
|
EXT. CAMPUS - DAY |
|
Linus/Jason is walking away from the office and he looks
down at his schedule. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
(to himself)
Wow! These are some hard
courses... It's a good thing that
this will only take a few days.
(Thinking)
If it's third period now then I
need to go to Chemestry Acc. |
|
|
Linus walks off to the classroom. |
|
|
6.
|
INT. CHEMESTRY CLASS - DAY |
|
The classroom door swings open and in walks Linus. He walks
up to the teacher. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Um.. I'm a new student from
London. My name is Linus. |
|
|
|
CHEM. TEACH.
Alright find a seat and open your
textbook to page 496. |
|
|
Linus volentaraly sits next to a group of high class nerds. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
(whispering)
Hey, my name is- |
|
|
|
CLIVE
(Annoyed by
Linus's greeting)
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH I'm trying to
learn about the reverse polarities
of Carbonate-Bioxygide. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
(To himself)
Nice meeting you to. |
|
|
|
EXT. CHEMESTRY - DAY |
|
The four nerds walk out of the classroom. They are showing
off their high class nerdieness. Linus catches up to them. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Hey wait up. |
|
|
The four nerds turn and face Linus. |
|
|
LUKE
Well look who it isth. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Hey I'm Linus. I was wondering if
you guys could show me around. |
|
|
|
TOBY
(snobby)
Alright; this better not turn out- |
|
|
7.
|
|
CLIVE
(interupting)
Linus!? How nerdy is that name? |
|
|
|
TOBY
Like I was saying, this better not
turn out to be a trick like Han
Solo and the death star. |
|
|
|
LUKE
(at the same time
as the other
nerds)
Yah |
|
|
|
CARLY
(At the same time
as the other
nerds)
Yah |
|
|
|
CLIVE
(At the same time
as the other
nerds)
Yah |
|
|
|
TOBY
By the way, I'm Toby.
(Pointing to Clive)
This is Clive.
(Pointing to Luke)
Luke.
(Pointing to Carly)
And that's Carly. |
|
|
|
CLIVE
Hey Linus; what's your hobbie? |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Footba-I mean... I collect Lego
Mindstorm sets, you know the ones
that you can program. I like
solving Rubix cubes and I enjoy
the game dungons and dragons. |
|
|
|
CLIVE
That's cool. What have yo- Hey is
someone in the bushes. |
|
|
Linus looks at the bushes and can barely make out Thatch. |
|
8.
|
|
JASON (linus)
(Lieing)
Where? I don't see anybody. |
|
|
|
CLIVE
Alwell it's probably some stupid
skater kid that will most likely
not pass highschool. |
|
|
|
LUKE
Anyway, we'll sthee you tomarrow
then. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Right, tomarrow ok seeya. |
|
|
The four nerds walk away. Linus watches them turn the
corner. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
(to the bushes)
Thatch, Thatch come out they're
gone. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
(to the bushes)
Thatch, Thatch come out they're
gone. |
|
|
|
THATCH
Did I do a good job for Linus? |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Yes you did a good job for Linus. |
|
|
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
How come Thatch and Linus are
talking in the third person. |
|
|
|
THATCH
'Cause Thatch doesn't know how to
not talk in thefirst person. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Stop goofing around. This is
serious business. |
|
|
|
9.
|
INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM - NIGHT |
|
Jason, not being Linus, is talking to Z. |
|
|
|
|
JASON
Well..um..I havn't really got
anything to report. I mean I am
hanging out with the nerds
tomarrow. |
|
|
|
Z
Have you gotten anything recorded? |
|
|
|
JASON
Well, nothing useful. |
|
|
|
Z
Fine, but remember Jason you now
only have 6 more days to complete
this and your perfect mission
completion record will be lost. |
|
|
|
JASON
(Laid back tone)
Chill out Z I'll get this done.
Don't worry. |
|
|
As Jason walks out Z just watches him and as the door closes
Z says |
|
|
|
|
INT. JASONS BEDROOM - NIGHT |
|
Jason is sitting at his desk at home with his bright lamp
illuminating his workspace. |
|
|
JASON
(To himself)
Ok...I've got to get a rubix cube,
and I need to learn the rules of
the board game dungons and
dragons. |
|
|
He opens up his laptop and begins to search up Dungons and
Dragons rules. |
|
10.
|
|
JASON
(To himself)
Because I can get my hands on my
neighbor's rubix cube, i should
start with the board game rules. |
|
|
From downstairs Jason's mother is calling. |
|
|
MOM
Jason!! It's time for dinner! |
|
|
|
JASON
Ugh. In a minute mom! |
|
|
Jason continues his research for a minute or two. |
|
|
MOM
JASON! Time for dinner!! |
|
|
|
JASON
Alllrigghht! Im comming |
|
|
Jason leaves the desk and takes about two steps. |
|
|
|
|
JASON
Wow mom ive taken like two steps!
(under his breath)
Jesus |
|
|
|
EXT. SCHOOL - DAY |
|
Jason(Linus) comes to school in his nerdy clothes and meets
up with the gang. |
|
|
LUKE
umkay Linusth. If you're going to
thisth sthchool, you need to know
a few thingsth. |
|
|
|
|
They start to walk tward the library. |
|
|
TOBY
This is the library, this is where
we hang out during break and
lunch. |
|
|
11.
|
|
LUKE
The resthtroomsth are located
there and there. |
|
|
|
CARLY
And over there is the office. |
|
|
|
LUKE
It'sth where we run if a bully'sth
after usth. |
|
|
|
|
Thatch is in the backround filming and moving to a hinding
spot in the backround while the nerds talk.
BEEERRRPP BEEERRRPP BEEERRRPP. |
|
|
CLIVE
I'll see you at break Linus. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Library right |
|
|
|
|
The kids separate and hed taword there classes. |
|
|
INT. LIBRARY - DAY |
|
All the nerds and Jason(Linus) are sitting at a table. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
so what do we do now. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
(Interupting)
Hay is for horses. |
|
|
silence, no one laughs or talks. |
|
12.
|
|
LUKE
Anyway...letsth sthee who can
stholve a rubixth cube
fasthtestht. |
|
|
|
|
All the kids pull out rubix cubes and start to solve them.
Except Jason who doesnt know how. |
|
|
CLIVE
What is up Linus? Don't know how
to solve a rubix cube. |
|
|
|
TOBY
(with all the
other nerds)
Ha Haha ha ha ha.
(Toby amoungst the
laughter)
dont know how to solve an rc |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
um..uh.. no i dont i try to figure
things out on my own. How did you
learn? |
|
|
|
LUKE
Ha internet duh thatsth how i know
sthix diefent ways to stholve a
rubixth cube. |
|
|
The bell rings. |
|
|
CLIVE
Hey Linus, meet us at lunch in
here we've got a surprise for you. |
|
|
|
|
all five go thier separate ways to class. |
|
|
INT. EMPTY CLASSROOM - DAY |
|
Jason and Thatch enter the room cracking up. |
|
|
JASON
Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha...lets have a
rubix cube race...ha ha ha |
|
|
13.
|
|
THATCH
Yah, Yah ha ha ha ha...what you
dont know how to solve an rc...
(Jason joins in)
ha ha ha ha ha. |
|
|
|
JASON
And the best part is...ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha... the best part
is...ha ha... we got it on tape!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha |
|
|
|
|
|
|
the two kids review the footage to the clip where is says
"dont know how to solve an rc. and the rewound it and
played it over and over laughing every single time. |
|
|
JASON
those kids are the nerdiest people
i ever want to see and more. |
|
|
|
THATCH
yep and that guy right there looks
just like one of them. |
|
|
Thatch points to the window and looking in is Luke. |
|
|
JASON
Thatch, grab him before he
escapes! |
|
|
Thatch opens the door and grabbs Luke by the arm. Then they
tie him to a chair. |
|
|
JASON
well, well, well. I thought this
might happen. So I can
prepared.Luke right?...Yah thats
right...You wouldnt tell anyone
would you? |
|
|
|
LUKE
And why would you be stho
cthurtain I dont. |
|
|
|
JASON
I thought you'd say that. So I
brought you a surprise. |
|
|
14.
|
Jason pulls out a paper bag and takes out its contents. |
|
|
LUKE
thosthe are my Pokemon cardsth! |
|
|
Then a light turns on behind Luke. He "hopps" around. |
|
|
LUKE
No...wait what is that. |
|
|
|
JASON
Your a smart kid you should know
that its a paper shredder. |
|
|
Jason draws the first card. |
|
|
JASON
Oh look its Chrazad. |
|
|
|
|
|
JASON
Fine...then you read them. |
|
|
He shows Luke the first card. |
|
|
LUKE
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo |
|
|
Jason looks at Thatch in amazment. |
|
|
|
|
LUKE
Not my Charzthard!!!!!!!! Dont,
dont do it |
|
|
the shredder revs up and the card goes down. |
|
|
LUKE
(acting as if it
were shedding him)
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(stubbernly)
No, no i'll never give in. |
|
|
Jason continues to drop cards down and Luke is constantly
struggling and screaming. |
|
15.
|
|
LUKE
you know that everyone will hear
me screaming and you'll get in
trouble. |
|
|
|
JASON
Ah, on the contrary my friend. The
walss are sound-proof and the
windows are tinted. |
|
|
|
JASON
Oh hey! A card I know of. |
|
|
|
LUKE
Wait which one is it? |
|
|
|
JASON
Hmmm...Pikachu and I seem to
remember you saying it is you
favorite card. |
|
|
|
LUKE
I dont care drop it in...i wont
give in...never. |
|
|
|
JASON
You think Im dropping it into the
shredder? Oh no you'll destroy
this card yourself. |
|
|
Jason walks up to him and puts the card in his bound hands,
takes hold of them, and moves them in opposite directions.
Forcing the card to rip. |
|
|
LUKE
(Odviesly in
extreame mental
agony)
No, no stop!!!!!! Stop it!!! |
|
|
|
JASON
Only you can stop the pain Luke. |
|
|
|
LUKE
Ok!!!!! Ok, I wont tell anyone
about what I saw. |
|
|
then Jason stops and backs his hands away. |
|
|
|
16.
|
|
|
|
JASON
It ripped but no one can see it. |
|
|
|
LUKE
What are you talking about you
ruined it forever! |
|
|
They untie Luke and he slides out of the chair and on to the
florr in the featal position. Rocking back and forth holding
his card. |
|
|
JASON
(Whispering)
To easy. |
|
|
|
EXT. LIBRARY - DAY |
|
|
JASON
Alright Thatch. As you know, Luke
will most likely lock the door
behind him so we need to be
prepared. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
JASON
You need to stay here until the
bell rings for lunch. Right when
the bell rings,you need to HIDE
with your camera. |
|
|
|
THATCH
DEEEEEERRRRR okWait...what do I do with the
camera? |
|
|
|
JASON
Youve got to be kidding me. |
|
|
|
THATCH
What would happen if I said no? |
|
|
17.
|
|
JASON
I willtake the camera and throw it
at your head. |
|
|
|
THATCH
OH... Yes Im kidding. |
|
|
Thatch enters the Liberary and Jason leaves. |
|
|
INT. LIBRARY - DAY |
|
The nerds enter into the library for lunch and, as Jason
predicted, Luke locked the door behind him. They walk over
and sit at a big table. |
|
|
CARLY
Hey Linus come and sit with us.
Dont you want to see your
surprise? |
|
|
|
|
Jason/Linus walks to the table atemps to sit next to Luke
but then sits next to Carly. On the table, there is a
blanket covering something. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Whats this? |
|
|
|
|
Clive lifts the blanket and underneath it is the board game
dungons and dragons. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Wow guys thanks. But why? |
|
|
|
TOBY
Because your the noob. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Im the-
(Looks to Luke)
Whats wrong with Luke? |
|
|
Luke is just sittingstill with his Pikachu card pressed up
against his chest, staring wide eyed at Jason. |
|
18.
|
|
TOBY
He said that a football player
tryed to rip his Pikachu. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Wow, those football players think
they're so cool. So what if
someone likes to collect Pokemon
cards. |
|
|
|
CARLY
Well, shall we get started then? |
|
|
|
CLIVE
Alright everbody take a character. |
|
|
They all pick their characters exept Luke who has decided to
watch instead. Toby sets up the board and takes out 5 dice.
One was a triangle, one was a square, one was an octagon,
and one was a dodecahidron(12 faced prism) |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Wow what are those? |
|
|
|
TOBY
Why they are our dice. |
|
|
|
CARLY
Yah you ever play this before, its
one of your hobbies. |
|
|
|
JASON (linus)
Yah but mine was uh..made in cuba
and it only has 5 regular dice. |
|
|
|
|
They begin playing and Jason/Linus just whent along with it
because they told him what to do. |
|
They were playing for what seamed like 2 hours to Jason.
When he hears Thatches signiture bird call. |
|
|
JASON (linus)
Um...I've got to go to the
restroom. Play for me. |
|
|
Jason walks away and meets with Thatch |
|
|
|
19.
|
|
|
|
JASON
What! How long ago? |
|
|
|
|
|
JASON
Ok good. We have enough footage
so lets blow this popcicle stand. |
|
|
|
|
They creap to the library door. |
|
|
JASON
Oh no. Its locked. We got to find
another way out. |
|
|
Jason starts to look around for another way out. |
|
|
JASON
Look, another door. |
|
|
|
THATCH
Yah but we have to get passed the
nerds. |
|
|
|
JASON
Dont worry about it I got that
covered. |
|
|
Jason grasps his watch and says into it. |
|
|
|
Then Pokemon cards start falling from the ceilling. |
|
|
LUKE
Hey itsth my Pokemon cardsth! |
|
|
All the nerds bend over and start picking them up. |
|
|
THATCH
How did you do that? |
|
|
|
|
20.
|
|
JASON
They all look destracted lets go. |
|
|
Tatch and Jason use cover to get toward the door. Then Luke
spots Jason trying to escape. |
|
|
LUKE
Guysth, guysth. He'sth esthcaping! |
|
|
|
TOBY
What do you mean? who's escaping? |
|
|
|
LUKE
Itsth that Linusth kid he isth not
really a nerd he'sth a sthpy or
something. |
|
|
All four nerds grab school wide utencils and start chaseing
after Jason and Thatch. |
|
|
JASON
Dang! This is not good. Were else
can we get out of here? |
|
|
Jason starts to look around again. |
|
|
THATCH
Watch out! They're using pencils
as spears and they have makeshaft
granades out of staples and
erasers. Oh no...have
mercy...they've got paper airplane
bombers. |
|
|
|
|
Jason and Thatch are being pummled by school supplies and
they can barly see. |
|
|
THATCH
Come on we got to get out of here! |
|
|
|
|
|
THATCH
I built a trapdoor before lunch
incase this happened! |
|
|
|
|
21.
|
Jason and Thatch start to crawl for cover. They almost get
behind the desk were the trapdoor is but are attacked by
Luke and his Pokemon cards. |
|
|
JASON
Ow!! Those cards freakin hurt. I
think Im bleeding...ow and
brusing? |
|
|
|
THATCH
Mabye we shouldnt have ripped his
Pikachu! |
|
|
|
|
|
THATCH
Because it's right behind you!! |
|
|
And there really was a REAL Pikachu behind them! |
|
|
THATCH
Come on! We're almost there! |
|
|
Thatch opens the trapdoor and gets in hanging on to the edge
of the door. All Thatch can see is Jason being eaten alive,
crawling for his life. |
|
|
THATCH
Come on Jason we got to go! |
|
|
|
JASON
I cant make it, here take the
camera and give it to Z tell her I
was brutally attacked by armed men
and a Pikachu she'll understand. |
|
|
Just as Thatch takes the camera. Jason, who is gripping the
edge of the trapdoor was yanked away never to be seen again. |
|
|
MR. D
I CAN TELL YOU WORKED HARD ON THIS
BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I DON'T
GET THE POINT. HE NEVER GOES BACK
TO THE TEST, THERE IS A
CHEERLEADER NEVER MENTIONED AGAIN.
HE JOINS THE NERDS WHY? HE
TORTURES THE KID'S POKEMON CARDS
AND THEN LEAVES. I DON'T GET IT. |
|
|
FADE OUT. |
|
|
|
|
Feedback |
There is currently no feedback for this screenplay.
|
|
|
Leave Feedback |
You must be logged in to leave feedback. |
|
|